- Jun 2004 Archive
"C" and I were "best friends".
(I also happened to be C's only friend outside of her boyfriend at that
time). Unfortunately, C's mother and father separated and she and her
mother moved into a new home. She was very excited about her new home and
I was excited to see it and had bought a housewarming gift to give them
when I first got the opportunity to see it.
As we had many conversations together about etiquette, I
was a little gobsmacked when I received an invitation to me and my
mother (whom she had only met a couple of times) to a combined housewarming/cosmetics
party with an entry fee of $10. Housewarming gifts were obviously
expected, as the invitation indicated where they could be left. Seeing the
expression on my face (which I did my best to hide) she assured me not to
worry as "I don't have to buy any of the cosmetics".
I felt more like a cash-cow than a friend, as this had also come on the
heels of her not thanking me for an expensive Christmas gift; telling me
the day after her birthday that she "hated people who didn't wrap
presents" as they are lazy, after I had given her presents that
were unwrapped (but in a nice re-usable bag) for environmental
reasons and forgetting my own birthday. ARG! Sadly, I felt
that I had to end the friendship for my mental health and have never been
inside of her new home. Please, please, please don't treat
your friends this way - even if you think that they are better off than
One afternoon I had some errands to run with my
daughter and one place was the local upscale grocery store. We went in, found a few of the items we
needed and were walking to the frozen foods aisle.
I was just looking around and happened to notice a young
pregnant girl at the self-checkout counter. She just looked needy! I said to my
daughter go choose your ice cream and I'll be right there.
Feeling the urge to help I held out 40.00 dollars and
asked her could she use that. She said, yes, I can very much.
She said thank you and I walked off.
A few moments later the same young girl approached me
again to say thank you again and asked what my name was
and I gave her my first name and introduced my daughter by first
name only. We chatted awhile and I asked her when she was due
and she said 2 months. She said they had moved here and that It had been
hard and they were on food stamps. (My
first thought was if your on food stamps why are you not at a cheaper
grocery store. But I told myself mind your own business.)
I said my brother and his wife and their three year old
daughter were killed in an accident so we had baby clothes (Very Nice
Clothes) that weren't being used
and I asked if she would like to have them and of course she accepted.
I took out my wallet in which I keep paper & pen handy
for such things and took her number down and told her I'd call when we have the items gathered together.
About a week later I get a phone call from her.
I ask her how did she get my number and she said I saw your last name when you opened your wallet. I said Okay! (Creepy) She asks
did I have any of the clothes ready because she wanted to gather up what she could and see what was still needed. I said I sure do
and was going to call her that weekend. She replied Oh! Sensing
that wasn't what she had in mind I told her I had some errands to run
and that I could drop it off at 3:00 that afternoon if she would like and
asked for her house address. She
said it was her husband's day off and they were in and out but would most
likely be home at 3:00.
My daughter and I arrive at 3:00 on the nose and no
one was home so I put the bag on the porch and left.
I felt a little invaded when she called and a little pressured
when she said Oh! But to arrive and no one being there was
a bit too uncomfortable, however I just shook it off and when
This was almost two weeks ago. No Call. No Thank You
Note. No Nothing!!
I've been blessed and won't stop giving, however it hurts.
I was taking some classes at a local community college
and befriended a woman who sat beside me. We hit it off immediately and
became friends. When Christmas came around that year, we decided to
exchange Christmas gifts even though we had only known each other for
about 7 months. We met at a popular restaurant on a Saturday night, which
fell just a few days after Christmas. We were seated at the bar waiting
for a table, as the restaurant was extremely crowded for a Saturday night.
We exchanged our Christmas gifts at the bar, and when she opened the gift
I gave her, a look of total and utter dissatisfaction crossed her face. I
had given her a collection of Paul Mitchell hair spray, shampoo and
conditioner, which I use as well as all of my friends, and we love them.
They're also quite expensive, as anyone who uses Paul Mitchell products
might know. She proceeded to tell me, in a very loud voice in the middle
of this restaurant, that she HATES Paul Mitchell hair spray because it
makes her hair stiff, sticky, and dry. I was shocked. She was carrying on
so loudly that I could see other people watching this spectacle. I could
feel myself getting embarrassed and I said, "I use it all the time,
and it doesn't do that to my hair." She carried on for a little bit
longer, so I offered to exchange it for something else. She told me it was
fine, as she would still use the shampoo and conditioner and perhaps her
roommate would use the hair spray.
A few minutes later, she got up to use the rest room,
and a young couple walked by me on their way to a table. The woman said,
"Excuse me, but did that lady just tell you that she basically didn't
like the gift you gave her? That's just tacky!" and they walked away.
The next day, I was telling my sister about the incident, and my NINE YEAR
OLD NEPHEW overheard me relaying the story, and he interjected and said
"That's rude! It's supposed to be the thought that counts!" By
the way, the gift she gave me was a candle, which happens to have a scent
that I do not care for. But I was polite and kept my mouth shut, and I
told her that I love it and thanked her. I don't know why I did that.
Back in high school, I was acquaintances with this girl
named Jennifer. We didn't hang out or do anything together other
than at school, so I was a bit surprised that the Christmas after she
graduated (she was a year ahead) she sends me a Christmas card.
Thinking that was sweet of her, I reciprocate.
I should have realized something was up when she wrote
at the bottom of the card to call her sometime, but then didn't bother to
write down a number. Okay, so I let her know that I didn't have her
number but she should fell free to call me-I included my number.
A year later she still hasn't called but who cares?
I was busy with other things and after all she was a mere acquaintance.
Except for the fact, that she again sends me a Christmas card with a
letter attached. In it she was hitting me up for money so she could
enter a beauty pageant.
I was astounded that she only made the effort in the
hopes of getting something from me. After that Christmas, she never
did bother to contact me again.
I guess when I didn't send her a check for the beauty
pageant she figured I wasn't "worthy" of her friendship.
What did she expect...it wasn't like I was ever all that chummy with her
to begin with.
I'm having so much fun reading your site, I'm not
getting anything done - my eBay business needs tending to, but here I am,
laughing at these stories!
Here's a couple for the "Gimme" section:
Many years ago, I had been dating a guy whose SIL and I
became good friends. Mona seemed very sweet, although not the sharpest
knife in the drawer, and I felt sorry for her because she didn't know
anybody in our city where she had moved when her husband (BF's brother)
got out of the Air Force - she was originally from the state he was last
Well, Mona had a young son, who was a spoiled brat, but
I endured him and even sometimes brought him gifts and took them both on
outings. Not once did Mona ever offer me something to eat, even though I
came clear across the City and spent over an hour on the subway each way
to see her; all I was ever given was some plain tea. Often, I'd go out for
a burger as I was hungry, and Mona would come along; when I offered her
something, she'd order an entire meal! Before long, she'd also order a
meal for her little boy too - which I was expected to pay for, as I was
working, and her husband didn't give her any spending money. But OK, I put
up with it - I'm pretty kind hearted and they didn't have much. (But is
expecting maybe a 49 cent package of cookies to go with the tea too
Well, Mona became pregnant again, and BF and I were
asked to be the godparents. I accepted, and (willingly) bought just about
everything needed for the baby - after all, her husband didn't make much
money. This time she had a little girl.
Things started to get more and more out of hand,
however. We'd be out walking and pass an expensive children's store, where
Mona would see something she wanted for the baby. Her usual ploy was,
"Oh, I LOVE that coat and hat! Now, don't you go buying that for
Sissy! Don't you DARE buy it!" (In other words....BUY IT!) Usually, I
just let it pass - I not only gave that kid plenty, but I'd often give
Mona clothing and things I no longer wanted for herself, because she was
dressed so poorly. Not only that, after she lent out the expensive
christening gown I had purchased and then washed it in BLEACH to get it
clean again, ruining it, I knew she had no idea of how to care for nice
I'd often bring a gift for the little girl when I went
to see her, and often something for her bratty older brother as well -
even though I was not HIS godmother. One day I had brought a large (over a
pound) bag of candy, gave it to Sissy, and told her to share it with her
brother. Mona was VERY upset - she said I should have brought a bag for
each of them, so they wouldn't fight! Excuse me? It was HER responsibility
to teach the kids to share!
Fast forward - Sissy was about five or six, and I was
ordering some things for my new apartment from a sale catalog from a major
department store. As I was on the phone, reading from the order form I had
filled out to expedite things, I was absentmindedly flipping through the
pages of the catalog with the other hand when something caught my eye: it
was a darling little girl's denim skirt, and the store would put the
child's name on it in brightly colored letters. I immediately thought of
how excited Sissy would be to get a package from UPS, and have a skirt
with her name on it to wear on the first day of school, so I impulsively
ordered it, and had it sent directly to her.
A week or two later I got a call from Mona. No hello or
thank you or anything; her first words were, "I don't like what you
did!" Apparently, she was offended because I sent a gift to Sissy,
and nothing to her brother - who not only was NOT my godchild, but who
recently had been breaking things I brought him, or tossing them in the
trash. I mean, where was HIS godmother? His Mom should have been calling
I don't remember what I said; a friend later told me I
should have had a skirt sent to the little boy with his name on it!
But....that was the last time I ever spoke to Mona - her greediness got
her cut off at last. Too bad the little girl lost out because of her
mother's attitude. Oh well, now both her kids were getting the exact same
thing from me: nothing!
More recently -
I met a woman this past April. Being new to the city
where I now live, I was eager to make some new friends. "Juliet"
and I started talking when she admired a gold necklace I always wear, we
seemed to hit it off, and ended up exchanging phone numbers.
Now, let me say - I'm on disability, but try to share
with people who have less than I. Juliet started dropping by, and each
time left hints that she hadn't eaten yet that day, even though it was
usually evening when she came by. I knew her job (in a retail store)
didn't pay much, so several times I offered her a meal or - on one
occasion, because it was all I had - some cookies. (BTW, she ate EVERY
cookie on the dish - the entire package!) So, she was hungry; I felt sorry
She said she didn't come over more often because she
didn't have money for gas, so we'd often talk on the phone. Now, what
drives me NUTS is, we'd be talking, another phone would ring, she'd leave
me hanging on while she'd have a conversation with another person! (After
the first time this happened, I'd hang up after a minute or so.) In a way,
I preferred talking on the phone - I have several cats, and Juliet HATES
cats; she'd scream at them every time she came over to keep away from her.
Excuse me, but she KNEW I have animals, they live here, she doesn't. I
thought that was very rude - if they bothered her so much, she shouldn't
have come over.
Well, about a month after meeting her, Juliet began to
ask me what I was getting her for her birthday, and specifically said she
expected me to make a cake. (I'm an awesome baker.) Now mind you - this
was about May; her birthday was in August. Every time we talked, she'd
bring it up. A few days before her "big day" Juliet called to
make sure I didn't forget.
I called her to say "Happy Birthday," but
because I hadn't been feeling well, didn't make her a cake. She asked me
if I had a gift, and said she'd come over to get it. Well, I sell on eBay
to supplement my disability income, and had a lovely top I had been
intending to sell, but it was her size (3X) so put it in a package and
told her that since it was hot out (she can't bear the heat) and my A/C
wasn't working, perhaps we could go to Sonic or someplace in her car. (I
didn't want to subject the poor cats to her.) She then asked if I was
going to buy her dinner because it was her birthday, adding that someone
else was buying her lunch. (Remember, I'm on disability!) I was taken
rather aback, and told her that I couldn't afford to buy her dinner, but I
guess I could treat her to a soda or an ice cream. In a way I felt sorry
for her - she made it very obvious that she was very low on funds, and had
in fact had recently been evicted from her last apartment because she
didn't pay the rent for six months. And no good deed goes unpunished,
Turned out Juliet didn't come over until the next day; I
told her I'd meet her outside my building - my poor kitties didn't need to
be screamed at, although I didn't say that. So, Juliet drove up in her
car. A GORGEOUS LINCOLN TOWN CAR!!!!!! I gave her her gift, and explained
that if it was too big, I had another one in a 2X that I could change it
for. As she drove her cell phones began to ring. That's right - phoneS.
Does ANYONE need TWO cell phones?????
As soon as I had gotten into the car, we discussed where
we would go. I said, "I have some coupons for Popeye's - like I said,
I don't have much money, but I can give you a coupon for what you
want." On the way she was telling me about her new boyfriend (who is
also her boss at her new job) and how he just started the job and wouldn't
get paid for a month. Supposedly he felt awful that he couldn't do
anything for her birthday, so she offered to pay for a weekend trip so the
two of them could go off and be together and - her words - "We
wouldn't have to be afraid that someone we know from work would see us
together." (Uh, Juliet? You think maybe he has a WIFE whom he doesn't
want to see you????)
We went to the restaurant, where Juliet placed her order
- making a HUGE fuss, insisting that she did NOT want any food unless it
was freshly prepared and demanding a sample to make sure. She gave the
cashier her coupon, and the cashier asked what I wanted. I said, "Oh,
it's separate." Juliet looked at me, and said, "Well! If I knew
you weren't paying, I wouldn't have ordered anything! I'm BROKE!"
So....she has money for a Lincoln Towncar, for TWO cell phones (one with
picture taking capability), and to take loverboy away for the weekend
(incidentally, he declined) - but she can't pay for a $3.99 meal???? OK, I
didn't want to make a fuss.....I paid for her damned dinner. I guess what
I told her the day before went over her head - or she more likely has
selective memory loss.
Over the meal she told about the brand new living room,
dining room, and bedroom set she had just gotten for her new apartment.
How nice! I buy a piece here and there as I can from Wal-Mart; this dippy
broad goes into hock then cries she's poor!
Finally she drove me home, and I thought that was the
end of it. Nope! She asked what the other top looked like, and I offered
to show it to her. She came in (thankfully ignoring the cats) and I showed
her the top - which she tried on. It was snug, but she got it on. She
said, "So, do you know any other large woman you'd want to give it
to?" Uh....no, I didn't. She relieved me of that one as well.
I'm happy to say that was the last I ever heard from
Juliet; hopefully, that's the last I'll EVER hear from her! I don't mind
sharing with those less fortunate than I, but I will NOT be taken
advantage of by a user!
Page Last Updated May 15, 2007