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A few years ago I was living in Crystal Beach, FL, which is a very small town of about a few hundred people. At the time, I was lucky enough to work about 1/8 of a mile from my home, so on nice days I would walk to/from work. It was a nice day, and as I was walking home from my job I saw one of my cats, Snuffy, in a neighbor's yard. A little background on Snuffy: Snuffy was the son of a stray I had taken in. I had had him for about 2 years when I noticed he was losing weight, so I brought him to the vet who diagnosed him with a rare form of cancer. Snuffy was put on daily medication, special food, and became an indoor cat. Of all three, what pissed him off most was the indoor part. He hated it. After several days of listening to a screaming cat, I consulted with my vet who said it was OK to let him back outside, so long as he wanted to go and was eating well, not acting lethargic, etc. So, back out he went. Now at this point he was still a skinny cat, which I had been advised probably wouldn't change. So long as he didn't lose anymore weight, he was OK. 

Now, on this day home from work, I see Snuffy in the neighbor's yard. There were no laws concerning outdoor cats in my neighborhood at this time, but other people might not want him around, so I went to get him and bring him home with me. At this time I see the two neighbors come out from their house and so I say hi and tell them that was my cat and I was going to grab him and bring him home. They look at me with this look of absolute disgust and the woman says, "That's your cat?" I'm a bit taken aback by their tone, but say that yes, he is. The man then says, "Why don't you take care of him? He's looks so sick, you are obviously a bad pet owner." Uh, excuse me? "Bad pet owner"? This cat's meds are close to $200 per month, not to mention the cost of his special food and his frequent vet trips--all this for a stray that most people would probably have put to sleep when his diagnosis came in. It takes me a minute, but I calmly tell him that my cat is sick, he is seeing a vet, and it is perfectly fine for him to be outside. I then advise that should they see me walking home again and Snuffy has been in their yard or is otherwise causing a problem to let me know. Then I turn and leave. I was fuming for hours after and was almost tempted to go back and give them my vet's number and have them call. What a-holes.


Your neighbors aren't a-holes.  Actually they and you have the same common interest for the cat's welfare.  Any sensible person will assume poor animal husbandry upon seeing an emaciated animal.  You could have smiled enigmatically at their comments and gone on your way content in the knowledge that you know the truth you are a good pet owner and your neighbors are deceived.  Or smiled wryly and said with sincere humility, "Perhaps you could take over the $200 per month medications and special food regimen Snuffy has been on.  Maybe I'm not feeding or medicating him correctly and you could do better.  I'll be happy to bring over the drugs, food and vet instructions for you."   


About 4 years ago, I and 2 of my friends all decided to go to the same grad school. We all had regular day jobs, and since we were such close friends, we decided to buy a house together. We shopped around for a while, and found a nice house - 3 bedroom, 2 bath, with a downstairs apartment no one lived in. We knocked down the wall, which added a bedroom and a bathroom. Great house, and we all had a wonderful time living there. At first, we had 2 wonderful neighbors, who were very nice, and we never had a problem with (likewise, they never had to complain to us). However, after about a year, one of them moved out, and in moved a new family.

We never really talked to them - they never complained, but didn't help us out either. We didn't care, they never gave us problems. The big problem happened after about a year.

While we'd been living there, we'd had wireless internet (wifi) installed in our house. We figured it was easier than running a cable, and caused less problems. But eventually, we decided to run wires. The wireless was a bit slow sometimes, and we occasionally lost connections for no reason. So, we bought a new router, and ran wires through the house.

A few days later, our neighbors called us up and wanted to talk. We went over to see what was their problem, when they told us to put back the wireless. They then explained that they'd had their computers connected to our wireless internet router for free, without telling us! We weren't too pissed about this - it didn't affect bandwidth, so our own internet wasn't affected. What really got to me was when they asked us to put back our wireless, just so they could use it!

We flat-out refused. 6 months later they moved to somewhere else, and we now have very good neighbors again. 



Is it the fact that "Buford" (not his real name) thinks he's God's gift to womankind and insists on running around in swimming trunks whenever possible, in spite of being about 150 lbs. overweight and yelling the delightful, "Hey, Baby!" at anything female from the age of 12 up?  Is it the fact that his normal speaking voice drowns out televisions, radios and low-flying aircraft?  In our house?  With the doors and windows closed?  Is it because he likes to burn yard debris by starting his burn pile of wet branches with enough gas that the resultant, "WHUMP!" shakes our windows?  Could it be because of his avowed desire to "fool around" with the neighbor next door's wife?  

Really, it's all these and so much more that make Buford a neighbor from hell.  Actually, it's kind of a tag team between Buford and the neighbor on the other side of him.  Despite Buford's aforementioned avowals regarding the other guy's wife, and despite the fact that Buford actually went into the other house (we'll call them Mr. & Mrs. A) and walked in on Mrs. A taking a shower(!), causing Mr. A to give Buford a black eye, Buford, Mr. and Mrs. A seem to all be the best buddies.  More importantly, Buford and Mr. A are drinking buddies.  Loud ones.  Buford, Mr. A and Buford's renter (we'll call him Bubba) like to get together at every opportunity and have a booze fest.  

Now, what other people do in their spare time is not my concern, but these 3 like to celebrate loud.  Buford's normal voice is about as loud as mine is if I'm screaming at the top of my lungs.  He gets louder when he's been drinking.  Every Friday night (if the weather is halfway decent--thank the god or goddess of your choice for wet, cold winters!) and, during the summer, 3 or 4 other nights during the week, we are condemned to the same performance which is as follows: 1.  Discussing what to drink and how much they may want. 2.  Laughter, loud "jokes" (humorous I suppose if you're into things that insult women, minorities, gays or any other group other than white males) and the throwing of beer cans about. 3.  Arguments.  Very, very loud arguments about anything. 4.  Screaming arguments usually punctuated by slamming doors and professing a desire to never talk to one another again.  Unfortunately, this part never lasts long enough.  About 30 minutes after this phase, we get: 5.  Prolonged screams back and forth of "I love you, man!"  My husband has so far successfully kept me from opening a window and yelling, "Get a room and make up there, you cheapskates!"  My poor husband may not be so successful this summer...............



My husband and I have lived in our house for 5 years-rural, 1 1/2 acres per home, dirt roads. It makes for good neighbors-enough distance between the houses to be friendly but not so much that they are strangers. About a year and a half, our wonderful neighbors from across the street sold and moved onto 5 acres, selling to what seemed like a nice family. At first we were friends with them-we socialized with them, introduced them to all our friends and things seemed to be going along well. 

After a hurricane last year (we live in Florida) everyone was on edge and we got into a silly argument with them. However, once that occurred the floodgates were opened. They started badmouthing us to the neighbors and our friends, but we put on a good face and rolled with the punches. However, about a month after our argument, a huge semi pulls into our street, and a giant industrial generator is offloaded to our neighbors house. Those doing the unloading are renters from the end of our street, and had been known to be trouble in the neighborhood on their own. My husband took pictures just in case, but had no intention of going to the police, even though I wanted to since the value of this generator appeared to be greater than $20,000. We heard through the grapevine that the generator was stolen, and that its real value was closer to $45,000 and the neighbor only paid $2,500 for it. Still my husband wanted to remain "out of it". 

Well, one day he is driving down our street, and the renters who sold the generator try to jump him in street, accusing him of being a snitch and asking him what he knew. He played ignorant and made it home safely.

It was then we borrowed a gun (dangerous, but these are gang banger types who stop at nothing to get what they want). Now my husband was ready to go to the police. Long story short, the police took several months to gather all the evidence, but busted our neighbor on several 3rd class felonies, taking him to jail (along with the sellers of the generator and some folks from the shipping company where the generator "disappeared" from). They show them the pictures, and it is obvious that they came from our house, so the neighbor has declared war on us. He has 2 boys, 9 and 15, who have between them 4 ATV's and motorcycles, which they drive up and down our street for 6 to 10 hours at a time, doing doughnuts in front of our driveway and causing noise and dust all the time. We have started calling the sheriff, since it is not legal to ride these on the public roads, but the sheriff's don't want the hassle of the paperwork and thus only issue warnings rather than tickets or confiscate the bikes and ATV's. The children proudly tell all our neighbors they do this because they know it annoys us and gets under our skin. We are now talking about selling our house and moving somewhere other than across the street from the thief/troublemaker. He is going to court soon, and we hope he gets jail time. He had his house for sale (obviously not seriously since they are asking over $100,000 market value) but is now telling OUR friends that they don't want to sell-instead they want to stay and annoy us and hope that we move.

We did the right thing by going to police-turns out the generator was destined for an Elementary School in order to survive Hurricane Season-and continue to do the right thing by calling the sheriff rather than be confrontational, but it is our peace of mind that is being lost. I am now pregnant, and the stress is making me sicker than morning sickness!!! I can't wait for this to be over!



I was a sophomore in college last year, and we bought a house right next to campus, since my little sister would be a freshman at the same school as me and paying a mortgage would be cheaper than two in the dorms. We fixed it up the summer before, and had two great roommates move in with us to help with bills. Keep in mind, our house is right SMACK DAB next to the college dorms on campus, and the fence in our backyard separates us and our neighbors from campus. RIGHT NEXT TO A COLLEGE, got the picture?

Anyway, most of our neighbors were great, especially the lady next door, who would put flowers on our porch, warn us of any dangers, etc. She is divorced, in her thirties with a young son, and obsessed with flowers and gardens all day, everyday. We wondered about her a little, as we had heard stuff from other neighbors, but she was really nice. Anytime we had people over or were doing any housework late (like refinishing wood floors with loud sanders), we would check with her the next day to make sure we weren't too loud. She always said that everything was fine and she never heard a thing, even when we had a larger party, she seemed not to know what we were referring to when we checked with her the next day.

Anyway, one day in the middle of winter, we had two friends over, and since we didn't allow smoking in the house, they had their cigarettes on our back porch, They were sitting on chairs and talking, and suddenly she began screaming at them through her window. They stopped talking and were kind of shocked, and came right inside. We then received several long voicemails on our cell phones about how we were the rudest people she's ever met, etc. We were confused to say the least, and went over a few days later to apologize and straighten everything out. She told us that everything was fine and assured us that she was just grumpy, etc. Well she was nice for a few days, and then we began getting more messages. All of them said things like "Um, someone left your house last night at 11:30 and I could hear the car door close, and I don't appreciate that", and, "My blue driveway reflector was knocked down somehow in the middle of the night and you guys don't have the common courtesy to pick it up". She keeps saying that "some people have jobs and school and children, and we need to respect the community and people who have lives"! We ALL work full time, go to school full time, and have a house and bills and various obligations. It infuriates me!

She threatened us with township ordinances, saying she could get us in trouble for various stupid things, like she was MEASURING our grass to see if it was too long! I mean, message after message, longer and longer. One day we found someone's dog wandering around, and it stayed in our yard and for some reason wouldn't leave. She called the police because there was a dog in our yard! We kept it until we found the owner, which the police officer appreciated, and even rewarded us for it.

Since my dad and I own the property, she threatens to tell him "everything" we are doing over here. We tell our parents everything that goes on, they have even listened to her messages, and said to just ignore her. But she has been getting when we went home for the summer and had our cousin cut our grass, she called us several times complaining that his music was loud when he pulled in, and that she didn't like the way he looked at her. She threatened to tell the police he had an attitude problem!

She also called the police on a guy handing out church flyers.

We have had the house barely a year, and have lived there a total of only 7 months or so, but it is getting unbearable. If we have people over, we have to be in the basement because if she hears us talking from inside the house, she threatens to call the police. We can't keep lights on on the side of the house closest to hers. We even get calls about things that have nothing to do with us, and other neighbors have had the same issues with her. But the few times we actually responded to her, she acts totally nice, and when we lost our grandmother and she was calling to complain, she sent us a card! She watches our home and keeps track of who comes and goes, and calls us the next day saying stuff like, "Thank you for being quiet, but someone's car engine was a little too loud and on and on and on...."!

We just recently found out that she hasn't worked in years, because she has mental problems, which would explain the obsessive gardening! I just feel bad for her little son!

So I decided that the best option would be to quietly ignore her and put up a privacy fence, but my dad thinks that it would hinder us from seeing any prowlers, etc., so we haven't done it yet. But just for the heck of it, I decided to price it out, and ask the township if there are any permits necessary and what the rules are, and told them that we had a nuisance neighbor. And they asked if it was name!!!

I hate feeling like I need to walk on glass in our own home. A lot of college kids party loudly and whatnot, and our house is quiet as a mouse. We have done everything possible to be sure that there is nothing she can possibly complain about, and yet she somehow continues. I am thinking about a restraining order even! We all work and have school and do not have time to deal with her or mental energy to waste! Ahhh!



We have to share our drive-way with some pretty rude neighbors. None of our properties are fenced. Our property is the largest. All our neighbors have about an acre, but we own close to ten acres. Anyway, we have two dogs that we allow to run loose just like all our other neighbors do with their dogs. However, one of our neighbors always walks his dogs on a leash. These are the neighbors that complain how everyone else's dogs are running loose. In fact, they whine about it. The old man seems to be getting more and more grumpy and mean about people's dogs running loose. Since I'm the one who is home more than my husband, I'm the one who has to hear his complaints the most. 

At one point, I felt so bad and sorry for the neighbor and how he said that one of our dogs was running into his garage and eating his cat food, that I literally went out and bought him a case of cat food and apologized to him. HOWEVER, right after I did this his wife confessed actually only happened once and that they never really even saw it happened so they weren't even sure if it was our dog or not. Obviously, I held my tongue here 'cause I realized at that point her husband has a tendency to embellish the truth. HOWEVER, as time went by, I noticed and actually watched out my front window as this same grumpy old man, who always points the finger at everyone else, would walk his dogs on a leash onto OUR PROPERTY to do their potty thing. Maybe I was wrong to allow this to go on for so long, but I kept biting my tongue just to keep the peace. 

Finally, one day when I was having a pretty bad week, I looked out my front window and saw my neighbor with his dogs on their leash standing on our property taking a crap. At that point, I had enough. Rather than go out there and have a confrontation with this old hypocrite, I waited until he went inside his home and called him on the telephone. I immediately asked him if he was planning to pick up his dog's shit or what? Oh boy, did he ever become defensive. He got real nasty and started yelling at me that our dogs run loose all the time on his property and go to the bathroom everywhere on his property. I replied that if that was the case, then would he please tell me where the poop was and I would gladly go over there and pick it up. That statement made him even more angry because he and I both knew that there was none of my dog's poop on his property to be picked up. Well, again his wife got involved and she made him go and pick up his dog's poop off our property.


Being a good neighbor means keeping one's dogs on your own property.  Most counties have leash laws, even rural ones, which require animal owners to keep their livestock and pets under control either by fencing or leash.  If your dogs have free run of the neighborhood, you have no idea where they are pooping or not, what mischief they are getting into that you are unaware of.  And just because the other neighbors let their dogs run wild doesn't give anyone carte blanche to do likewise.  

In the rural area I used to live, the cattle breeders would just as soon shoot the dog(s) hassling and killing their calves than deal with getting Animal Control officers involved.  It's known as the "shoot, shovel and shut up" method of dog control.  One acquaintance of mine lost $6,000.00 in prize winning sheep when his neighbor's two pet dogs chased and killed them.   I personally lost a pet rabbit when a neighbor's free roaming German Shepherd tipped the cage over, tore into the cage, dragged the rabbit and carried it away screaming, never to be seen alive again.  Try living with that memory.  I've had my children bucked off their pony while riding on our own property because the neighbor refused to keep his dogs restrained so they routinely ended up hassling the ponies.  Ever seen what someone's pet dog can do to livestock?  Have a look...sheep.....donkeys.  

Free ranging dogs don't seem to have very long life spans.  If they are not dodging bullets from protective pet and livestock owners, they play a losing game with traffic.  Despite living on a sparsely traveled rural road, one of my neighbors went through 7 pets dogs in 4 years as each one was allowed to roam freely and each one met an untimely death by vehicle.  One dog, a small black poodle, met an particularly gruesome death when he was decapitated by a hay mowing machine in the fields behind his owner's property.  All totaled, 11 dogs from 3 neighbors died from being struck by vehicles in an 8 year period.   

Pet ownership should be a stewardship of the animal for its health and welfare.  I fail to see how allowing dogs to run free all over the neighborhood is in the dogs' best interests.  Remember the German Shepherd that killed my rabbit?  Apparently he got himself into trouble with other neighbors because I found him a block from my house with a gunshot injury through his hip.  Unable to get the owners to control their pet, someone had finally shot him.  Free roaming is a death sentence where it is merely a question of when the dog will die, not "if".  

So, story writer, before you cast your neighbor in Ehell, I very much suggest you remove that massive two dog log out of your eye first.  And then get a fence and keep your dogs contained for their own sake as well as the sake of your neighbors. 


I had moved to a nearby small town several years ago.  I am a busy working mother, part time student pursuing my master's degree, with a few close friends who take up the majority of my social life. I am also fairly shy and, perhaps, difficult to get to know at first, and I have never been accustomed to befriending neighbors.  As luck had it, however, the neighbor adjacent to my home happened to be quite the gardener, and I had actually become acquainted with "Babs" even before we finalized the purchase of our home. Babs and I are about the same age, both married with children, but the similarities ended there. She was basically a good person, but quite...ummm..simple.  She spent her time watching soap operas and having tacky parties to sell home decor items.  She didn't work outside the home (her child was in school all day), had not finished high school, and really didn't have any desire to move ahead.  Her husband liked to buy lottery tickets, and they were always barely one step ahead of bill collectors.  

My main issue with Babs is that she did not drive.  The town we lived in was so tiny that it only had a post office, gas station, and a market or two (think inflated prices/ poor selection).  I worked and did all of my shopping and business in the nearby city, which was about a 20 mile round trip.  She LOVED to bum a ride to town with me, and asked me to take her to town on a regular basis.  She was always broke, but occasionally I would offer to buy lunch.  She would take me up on my offer, saying that she felt guilty, and would dream of the day where she could treat me.  

The worst part of our "dates" involved shopping.  She only shopped with her husband, who she complained limited her time for browsing, so going with me was a free for all.  We would get in a crowded store, and she would disappear for the longest time.  I would say to my kids through clenched teeth that I would never again go shopping with her, but I managed to allow myself to talk me into taking her again and again. 

After about 2 1/2 years, we moved on to a larger home in the city.  Babs and I continued to talk on the phone and email, and she continued to hit me up for trips into town on a regular basis.  She would invite me to lunch (she was doing some in-home childcare by this time, so she had a few dollars), but of course, this would entail me driving all of the way out to pick her up, drive back into, and around town (she always had multiple places that she wanted to go), and then hauling her butt back and driving back to my home in the city.  She wasn't one to offer gas money, and this was a drain on my time, and as we no longer shared a neighborhood, we had even less and less to talk about. The visits became pretty infrequent, and after a while, so did the phone calls.  She was always one to forward every silly email to me, but, truly, that's about as much as we stayed in contact. 

After many months of not really talking, Babs called me very early one morning.  Neither of us being morning people, I was alarmed at such an early call, especially since I hadn't heard from her in so long.  It was right before Christmas.  After a perfunctory greeting, she explained that her dryer had stopped working (she had since had another child, and I knew a dryer on the fritz would be a hardship).  She then proceeded to ask me for a loan to purchase a new dryer.  I was a little taken aback, but feeling sorry for her, I agreed to lend her a few hundred dollars.   She then began bemoaning the fact that, if delivered, she would have to pay quite a fee, and that the store would be unable to have the dryer at her home for several days.  Quite a hint!  I offered to let them borrow my husband's pick up, even though he was out of town, and we weren't accustomed to lending out the truck. 

In a flash, Babs and her hubby were on my doorstep.  She seemed a bit miffed that I didn't have cash for her, but accepted my personal check.  She then snatched up the truck keys and was off!  In a few minutes, my doorbell rang.  Babs was back saying, "Oh! I forgot to ask!  Jim (my DH) is a smoker, so is it okay to smoke in the truck?"  I was dumbfounded!  Jointly owned, this truck was Jim's baby.  I simply asked them not to smoke in the truck. They were gone for quite sometime, and before leaving they had mentioned that they would gas up the truck before returning it.  Didn't happen. There was no hard and fast arrangement for paying me back, but I made it very clear that this was a loan, and I needed the money back as soon as possible.  The figure of $100 a month was mentioned. During one of our conversations, when she still owed me a couple hundred bucks, she mentioned that they had upgraded their computer to Windows XP (at about the cost of on monthly payment).  My hint was lost on her:  I replied that I'd like to upgrade, but didn't have any extra money!  Not surprisingly, it took well over 6 months for her to return the money.  During this time, she didn't even bother to call me (just the annoying emails).  I had to ask her for a payment a couple of times, and was met with an excuse, and a thank you for understanding. I haven't heard from Babs in a long time;  even the spammy emails have stopped.  I guess this must mean all of her household appliances are in working order!    


You are the type of person that drives other readers right up the wall and generates a lot of email to me.  No backbone to say "No" when you know you are being used over and over and over again and then whining about being used.  In essence, you are a facilitator, a co-dependent who allows rude people to keep on being boorish users because you lack the courage to say, "No, I'm sorry. I cannot accommodate your request."  


I lived in an apartment building that offered a $200 rent credit to anyone who referred friends to the building that wound up signing leases.  My fiancé and I had a group of three friends that we had referred to the building and when they signed the lease they told management that we had referred them.  Our friends then called us 2 days later and said that we should write them a check for $200 since we were receiving a rent credit because of them moving into the building!  Can you believe it?



My husband & I live in a small town in the Midwest. We were just married last year, so it will be a year this spring. He works in a larger city north of our little town & I work in a bigger town south of our little town. The house we live in is quite old (our landlord/owner guesses around the turn of the century), but we needed something in between our jobs and quick. We knew it wouldn't be permanent because we were planning on saving & buying a house in the city he worked in. So, we got this house with a few issues & let's just say we had several surprises in the last 9 months or so from little visitors. We only rent, though, so we can't really do too much to the house. All the "invasions" from outside animals have always been taken care by him.

This story, however, is about our neighbor next door to us. This neighbor just built a house there last year & moved into it during the summer months last year. One of the first things we noticed about these neighbors was their dog. In the city north of us, if you live in town, the dog must be kept on a leash or inside a fence. In this little town, I have no idea what the rules are, but technically, we live on the corner of being in town. These neighbors lived to the north of us, so they technically were "out of town". Which meant they could have a mailbox & have mail delivered to them, where as we had to go in to town to the post office & have a PO box. So, periodically, we would see this dog barking at us as we were getting out of our cars (a strip of grass approx. 3 feet across was the only thing separating our driveway from their driveway & the dog would just sit on the edge of their driveway). He wasn't that scary looking & I'm not even sure what type of dog he is, but he's around the size of a collie (not a border collie), but with short hair. He wasn't scary looking, but still I felt that it would have been a little more respectful to have him leashed up at least since I had no idea what he was capable of. Anyway, I just ignored him.

One day, my husband was mowing grass. He finished & then came inside & started talking about how we had all this dog crap in our yard. I couldn't figure out why, but we realized it was probably from the dog next door. I'm not sure if this was true or not, but several times after that we did find him in our yard. Every once in awhile we still hear barking & it always seems like it is right outside of our window (ground floor). So, we know he is running around & doing things in our yard. I'm sure it is our fault for not saying anything, but lately I think it has been too cold for him. Also, we're not mowing the grass anyway, so we don't care. I just think it is plain rude & disrespectful to let your dog wander around on other people's property. We are moving soon anyway, so we we're not going to say anything. 


Caution: Non-Native Speaker Alert!

While I was at university, I lived in a large dorm (actually a "dorm village"), where I shared a flat share with five other students.

At a certain time we had a bit of trouble with one of the roommates and there was a bit of tension in the air.

I tried to find a way to smooth things over and - following the German saying "love goes through the stomach" - I decided to invite all five of them for some home-made pizza (we didn't normally eat together). So I prepared pizza on two baking trays, with two different sets of toppings on each = four different kinds of pizza. To clarify this: each baking tray contained one large rectangle of pizza which had different toppings on either side.

Since I knew that our "problem child" was vegetarian, one of the four different kinds of pizza was vegetarian, and the veggie pizza ended up sharing a baking tray with the one with hamburger meat.

Now, the pizza is done, and we are sitting around the table, eating. Suddenly, Problem Child holds up her fork and says: "Now this is meat!" in a rather rude tone of voice. And I said: "I am sorry, you must have gotten a piece that was directly besides the meat. I am sorry for this." She didn't reply to that.

A couple of minutes later we all got up to get a second piece. Or so I thought... She got up, wordlessly dropped the pizza into the trash can and left the room.

The five of us couldn't get over that! Isn't that just too rude for words?

I understand that finding a piece of meat (no matter how tiny [and it was tiny]) is upsetting for a vegetarian, but getting up and throwing it away without even saying something? I guess it would have been the peak of politeness on her side if she had eaten it anyway. But if she didn't want to eat it - what I could have understood - there would have been 1001 things to say, such as, "Wow, I shouldn't have eaten so much in the cafeteria. The pizza is great but sadly I won't be able to finish this piece." (Which is what I would have said) Or even "I am sorry, but this has really spoiled my appetite. I appreciate that you cooked, but would you mind if I skipped the rest of the pizza / whip up some salad / ..."

Am I wrong to think that she was totally rude and that she could have handled this in a more polite way?



I must confess something perfectly awful I did when I first started college and should have been smart enough to know better. You might not want to post this and I'll understand, but I've got to get it off my chest. It was literally the very first month of school and I was living with my first roommate. I was enjoying myself but it was my first taste of independence--my parents were very strict--and I was really disoriented by everything. It all seemed very new to me. The roommate and I didn't have much in common and didn't really hang or anything, but we got along fine. 

One day, I went out to the mountains with a guy I really liked--I'd never had attention from guys before and so that was new to me too--and fell into a stream. When we stopped back at my dorm room, I complained that I didn't have anything to change into and I'd just have to wait for my jeans to dry. (I literally had very few clothes and had brought one pair of pants to school with me.) He insisted that I put on my roommates' pants, which she had just washed and left out. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with the idea because we hadn't discussed it beforehand. He told me that I shouldn't worry--it was NORMAL and roommates did it all the time! I argued with him for a minute or two and then gave up, not wanting to disagree further with pretty much the first guy I'd really had paying attention to me in my life. I wore her pants outside. I think all we did was take a walk--the pants were fine and everything, but when I returned my roommate was very annoyed (justifiably, I think) and told me that she didn't want me doing that, particularly without asking her. I apologized profusely. Please tell your readers NOT to allow anybody to talk them into being rude, no matter how much you want to be agreeable! I've always prided myself on being very considerate, and six years later I still feel sort of embarrassed about having been such a moron about this! (Side note: the guy turned out to be a jerk later on, we never dated, and after a short while, we lost contact completely! Big surprise, huh?)



I have never had much luck with roommates... # 1- My very first roommate was my boyfriend at the time.  I was renting a house from my mother. (Quite nice house- my mother and I had spent most of our lives remodeling it)  "Glen" moved in with me after we had been dating for about 2 months. (My first mistake- I was young and naive).  He was kind of lazy, he couldn't keep a job and never actually did anything with me. Actually, once he moved in, he decided that he could quit his job and spend all day every day playing video games with his friend who also had no job.  He did NO cooking, NO cleaning and managed to drag enough dirt all through the house so that I would have to vacuum every day (leaving some suspicion that he did go outside, but when and why?)  Luckily (???)  I found out that I had cancer and because of insurance reasons had to move back in with my parents.  That was the end of that.

  # 2- My second roommate was a doozy.  I had heard that you're never supposed to be roommates with your good friends, so I thought that "Laura" was a good choice.  We worked at the same company, but not necessarily together, and didn't really know each other too well to begin with.  Boy, was I wrong.  The first six months were great.  We got along rather well, without too many problems.  We had a lot of pets.  Started out with her cat, then a rabbit (mine- one of my biggest mistakes.  Rabbits are cute to look at but are nowhere near cuddly and would rather scratch your eyes out than be held), then a ferret (hers, and I have to say that I did protest because I had heard about the smell and other problems, but I was in no position to tell her no, after all I had just bought a rabbit), finally we got a dog (also hers, though I was the one who took care of it.  Walking, feeding, trips to the vet, etc.) 

She was a Mormon, which I have absolutely no problem with, but she didn't really practice the beliefs at all.  This was evident in the last 3 months of our cohabitation.  Things really started to go downhill when her boyfriend "Brad" got back into town.  Now, I had been her roommate and closest friend for six months and had never heard of him.  Out of the blue, he's living with us, he paid NO rent, he bought NO food, he didn't cook, clean, help with the pets, anything.  He made plenty of money, but somehow managed to spend it all at bars and strip clubs.  He worked on the oil rigs, which means that he was out in the field for one week and home for one week.  When he was home his schedule consisted of sleeping, eating our food, watching TV, and having sex with his girlfriend. About a month after I moved out, "Brad" got arrested for armed robbery and guess who was his "Accessory after the fact"?  She helped him hide the money in the apartment.  Do you have any idea how happy I am that I moved out when I did????   

# 3- at this point, I'm quite finished with roommates.  I had lived on my own for almost a year, when my best friend's husband died unexpectedly and she ended up with no place for her and her two year old daughter to live.  Being the doormat that I am, I agreed to let "Helen" stay with me.  Her husband died on Dec. 24th.  She moved in with me Jan 2nd.  After about two weeks, I knew this wasn't going to work.  She was a complete slob (I'm not perfect, but when the sink begins to smell like rancid vomit perhaps it's time to do the dishes?), her daughter is practically Satan's spawn (Terrible twos don't even come close to describing this little girl that drank twice her weight in juice each day and ate nothing but ketchup while refusing to wear diapers even though she wasn't potty trained.  This resulted in a lot of excrement on my floor that was never cleaned up by my lovely roommate), and she had this annoying little dog that loved to yap at all hours of the day and night- when she wasn't pooping and peeing all over the carpet, that is. (Did I mention that my landlord had a strict no-pets policy?) 

At this point, her twelve year old sister, "Jamie" comes to live with us because she's having problems with her (pregnant) 14 year old sister, "Arla".  Soo, yeah.  I now have three extra people living with me in my 2 bedroom apartment.  One night, around the end of January, Helen meets "Chad".  They quickly fall in love, yes you read that right- less than a month after her husband dies tragically, she's "madly in love" with someone else.  Within the week, "Chad" is living with us!!  I spent the next two months miserable, cooped up in my room because I was terrified to face the growing mountain of garbage and excrement that my apartment was turning into.  Finally, I told her that I had had enough.  I gave her a date (April 1st) that she had to be out by and when march 31st rolled around, guess who had not packed a single thing!!  I stayed up until 4 in the morning throwing her things into boxes and moving everything out.  At 8 am on April 1st, I had the locks changed.  I haven't spoken to her since, and I probably won't.  I hear that her "fiancé" has dragged her to another state to be with his family.  Good riddance!!


Repeat after me...  "I am so sorry!  I cannot accommodate your request to:  move into my apartment/have your boyfriend move into my apartment/allow your daughter to poop all over my apartment/bring your poop factory dog into my apartment/etc...."


This story is about a charming family who were my neighbors five years ago. I was living in London on the ground floor of a Victorian. Being an Aussie I was naive regarding the potential for terror in this situation as most homes in Australia are single story. Anyway, I had a mum, dad and twenty something son living above me. It would regularly rain toast crusts, ashtray debris, rotting vegetables, old clothes, and assorted other garbage into my garden. I had to do a clean up every morning! 

All night I would hear screams, profanity, breaking glass and furniture being hurled around. Their neighbors on either side were in despair too-luckily they were gorgeous and we gave each other a bit of moral support! However they had kids who couldn't sleep so it was worse for them. 

Soon the family were breaking in whenever I was out-I know because mum would come down and apologize that night in a fit of drunken, maudlin remorse! The police seemed unable to help beyond asking them questions. Even when I pleaded for the pendant my late father had given me-I got a "Sorry love. I needed money for me scag (heroin!)." This was all denied officially, of course. Often mum would knock on the door asking for beer money, and any or all members of the family would sit in our shared hallway-often with bloodied faces- which felt quite threatening when they were drunk or belligerent. Once I found the lobby splashed with blood. I (very carefully) cleaned the door handle as I had to use it, but left the rest there, all over the walls. It was like living with Leatherface. 

Tired of changing the locks, I told the landlord I was moving at the end of my lease. When I started discovering his porno mags around the house and challenged him on it, he said he had only been coming into my flat unannounced (when I was out) to monitor the neighbors. I left early, and the landlord has since rung me to tell me the new tenant has had no problems so I should have stayed. Perhaps I should have-both mum and son were sentenced to a jail sentence the week I left. Maybe life in that neighborhood was about to improve! 



After I graduated college I moved back to my hometown. Soon after, my then boyfriend (now my husband) and I decided to move in together. He went out and found a small one bedroom in a not-so-great apartment complex, but it was clean, affordable and the manager loved us, so we took it. Since it was both of ours first apartment, we did not account for the fact that it was on the bottom floor (they were two stories). While that isn’t always a bad thing, our neighbor above made it bad.   

To begin with, he let some friend move in who literally clomped through their apartment with lead shoes on. It was ridiculous! The situation was made worse as it was only a one bedroom, which meant his friend slept in the living room and therefore we could hear the clomping while we were trying to relax! It practically vibrated the walls. We tried talking to the neighbor, and that would stop it for a time, but then it would start up again. So my hubby started using a broom to hit the ceiling with, and that seemed to work okay, though it was annoying to even have to do that.  

Then the neighbor chose to get a puppy. Now I LOVE animals so that didn’t bother me. What bothered me was that this guy would lock the puppy in the bathroom ALL DAY while he was at work. And he worked construction or something, which meant he was gone for at least 8 hours. Now, those bathrooms weren’t very big, and a puppy being a puppy, made lots of noise. Well since the bathrooms were right next to the bedrooms, we could hear it, usually very early in the morning. So we told the neighbor and he took care of it and the noise stopped (I thought the pup was in the kitchen or something). Well after a while I realized that he had begun to put his puppy in an enclosed pet carrier ALL DAY. Though I didn’t agree with that, there was nothing I could do.   

Well one day we noticed this guy hadn’t been home for a couple of days and I started to become concerned and went to check on the puppy. So I went upstairs, and the door was unlocked. Well the puppy had no water, and very little food and the crate was barely big enough for her. And of course, not being let out, she had soiled the crate. So I gave her some water and food and promptly went and called the humane society and let our apartment manager know what was going on. They ended up taking the puppy away and the guy moved out a month or so later. Ahhh! I wanted to throttle him!!   Moral: be respectful of those who live below you and try to be as quiet as possible. And for God’s sake, don’t get a pet if you can’t properly care for it!!!!!   



Just to set things up: I am 19, and in my second year at a college in New England. However, I am spending this fall studying abroad at a university in Scotland. I am living in a self-catered, university-owned flat with five other girls, all of whom were randomly assigned to the flat- i.e., we didn't know each other beforehand, and had no control over the individuals with whom we roomed. Even though we share a flat, the six of us don't really see each other that often- the flat is fairly big, we all have our own bedrooms, and we keep pretty different hours, especially since I'm the quiet, studious sort, who isn't really in to the party scene. I know that my roommates do go out and party and drink on the weekends. I also know that some of them do sometimes have guys over for the night, but I don't always know when this is happening.

A few weeks ago I woke up around 9:00, and, as I didn't have class that day, proceeded to enjoy a leisurely morning. After I'd been up for about half an hour, I went to the kitchen to get some cereal. At this point, I hadn't showered, brushed my hair, or put on any makeup. I was also still in my pajamas- a pair of fleecy pants and a white camisole, as well as an old sweater of my boyfriend's I had put on because the flat was chilly. But it was still fairly early on a weekday morning, and I certainly wasn't expecting any visitors, so I didn't much care about my appearance.

As I was getting my cereal, I suddenly heard the door to the flat open. A few minutes later, the kitchen door open behind me. Thinking it was one of my flatmates, I turned to say good morning, only to be greeted by a strange young man whom I had NEVER SEEN BEFORE in my life! He was carrying a bag of groceries and a pineapple, and had evidently just gotten back from the store. How he got into our flat, I don't know, because the door locks automatically, and you need one of our keys to get in. He gave me a quick "hello," and without bothering to introduce himself walked over to the fridge and began to put the groceries away. He then proceeded to heat up the oven to make toast, put water on for tea, cut up the pineapple, and basically make himself entirely at home in my kitchen while I stared at him in bewilderment, thinking vaguely to myself, "This is my flat right? I mean, I haven't been kidnapped or anything- right?" He didn't say another word to me, and I was too befuddled from finding myself standing in my kitchen, unshowered and in pjs, while a random man cut up a pineapple at my counter, to think of anything to say to him. I proceeded to get my bowl of cereal as quickly as I could, and beat it back to my room where I scratched my head, had a good chuckle, and couldn't help but wonder which of my roommates he might be banging.

I'm a good Catholic girl myself, and during my freshman year, none of my roommates had ever had guys over for the night. I don't particularly mind if my flatmates here want to (we all have our own rooms, as I said), but a little advance warning would have been nice!



Page Last Updated July 30, 2007