Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


Main Page/Home

The Faux Pas Archives
Wedding Etiquette

Bridesmaids and Beastmen
Bridal Showers
Bridezillas and Groomonsters
Faux Pas of the Year
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme
Guests From Hell
Tacky Invitations
Wedding Rugrats
Just Plain Tacky
Tacky Toasts
Thank You Notes From Hell
Tacky Vendors
Wedding From Hell
Wicked Witches of the Wedding
Perfect Bride
Bridesmaid Dress Incinerator



Everyday Etiquette

Baby Showers
The Dating Game
Ooops! Foot in Mouth Disease
Funeral Etiquette
Gimme Hell
Holiday Hell
Just Plain Tacky
It's all Relatives
Every Day RugRats
Road Rage

Business Etiquette

Bad Business Etiquette
Merchants of Etiquette Hell
Bad Bosses

Faux Pas of the Year




Press Room/Contact



The "tortured" and the "torturees"

Spring 2000 Archive

Hi Jeanne,

I have long been flabbergasted by the lengths my best friend's sister-in-law will go to to save a few dollars (such as having plastic flowers at her own wedding), but her antics at my best friend's wedding took the cake!

I was lucky enough to be the Maid of Honour at Hillary's wedding, and Rhoda was a bridesmaid. We searched long and hard for bridesmaid dresses that would both suit and please all 4 bridesmaids - not an easy task! We finally found the perfect dress, but when Rhoda learned that the price was CAN$150 (a very reasonable price for a bridesmaid dress these days), she literally started to cry! Hillary was dismayed, and being the kind-hearted person that she is, offered to pay for Rhoda's dress. And what did Rhoda do? Instead of (a) offering to step out of the bridal party or (b) offering to pay Hillary back in installments, she accepted!

Yes, dear Rhoda made many faux pas that summer - including throwing a surprise bridal shower for Hillary without inviting the Maid of Honour or the Mother of the Bride! The topper came after the wedding, however. Hillary asked for the return of the bridesmaids dress - as was her right, considering she paid for it! Hillary planned to have it altered so that she could wear it to a friend's wedding later that year. And she did get it back - fresh from the washing machine. After not paying one dime towards the dress, Rhoda was too cheap to pay 10 bucks to have it properly dry cleaned - and threw it in the washer. Needless to say, the dress was ruined.       BMS0704-00

I work for a rental hall for weddings, parties etc. The other day it started as normal with the catering company arriving to set up food and decorations etc. The person that rents the hall and signs the papers is required to pay a cleaning deposit of $175.00 BEFORE any decorating or activity has begun. This person happened to be the bride . However she has not arrived yet of course.  SO, a coworker and I try to find someone to pay (LIKE A FAMILY MEMBER) . We find the father of the bride. PERFECT!  We explain the contract and show him the papers , so he says '"Do you take visa?'"    NO sorry,just cash . "Ok I'll look into it," he says and disappears.   An hour later no one has paid, can't find the FOB and the guests are starting to show up. Then the bride and groom show up in the limo (Humvee limo that is like the humvee jeep). Then we  spot the FOB and again tell him we need the deposit. He says can't; this wait?   Sorry no . At this moment the best man comes over yelling, "What's going on?",  like we're un invited guests or something , then takes out a wad of cash and throws down two hundred dollar bills, when told of the deposit.  So he signs the paper for the agreement .  As this is happening he keeps asking my coworker "Are you married"? over and over finally she says no and he says, "I don't give a hoot if your married or not."  Then he says, " THOSE PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE EARLIER TODAY WERE NICE, SO I GUESS THERE'S GOT TO BE ONE BAD APPLE IN THE   BUNCH.''   This man was so rude and we did not say or do anything to deserve that .

But wait there is more.  It turns out the rude best man is in charge of the catering because it's his family business so its like a gift to the B&G .  So because of this the best man or his catering staff have to sweep the hall as posted in the agreement of the contract. End of the wedding comes, they sweep (mostly this staff.) Of course there is still confetti on the floor . Now there is a disagreement between the best man and my coworker . She says that the floor is now fine and that she will now return the deposit and he says that the floor is not fine and will sweep until it is done. Go figure. Then he starts yelling and screaming about my coworker riding him all night and how hes gonna make her life hell. At this point hes using the f-word and throwing the broom around so we call the police and he dares to get in the cop's face going on and on.  The cop told him in a mean glare to "BACK OFF" and he did.  He had been almost close enough to kiss the cop! Then the cop, my coworker and I go inside the building to talk and the best man is told to stay outside . Of course he didn't think that he had to listen . He was really making the cop mad.   Finally after all the nonsense and the removing of dishes from the kitchen (some of which broke on the ground because of the best man himself). The best man (BEAST MAN is more like it) WAS escorted off the property by the wonderful police man.  And this man is part of the family restaurant business which has lots of chains so I guess he thinks it gives him a license to be that way.   (The name of the resturant is his last name.) Never have I seen such arrogance! Love the web site!   BMS0612-00

I recently attended my brother's wedding to a lovely, but quiet, woman. My brother and his bride each had three attendants; the bride chose for hers her sister and two college friends, and my brother chose three of his closest friends. My sister and I were asked to do readings in the wedding, and the brother of the bride was asked to be an usher. I was perfectly fine with this arrangement, as I am a student in a different state and would not be able to attend many of the pre-wedding activities. Frankly, although I liked the bride, I had only had a few encounters with her so I would have never expected to be in the bridal party.

My sister, on the other hand, felt differently. As I mentioned, the bride is very quiet, however, my sister doesn't understand the meaning of the word. So, a few weeks before the wedding, the bride called my sister, in tears, asking if my sister didn't like her. My sister said of course she did and asked why she would feel this way.   Apparently there had been some misunderstood incident a few months prior to the phone call, and the bride was worrying about it that entire time. My sister is the type to put out a vibe when she is resentful about something, and having been married herself, should have understood the stresses facing the bride. Instead, my sister only thought the bride was strange for waiting so long to mention the incident and did not appreciate the bravery it took to even mention it. 

The truly horrible part comes next. Rather than leaving it alone, my sister says, "You know, I have something I need to bring up too. My feelings are really hurt that you did not ask me and my sister to be bridesmaids, and I think the reason you did not ask is that we are overweight." I don't even know how the bride responded. I would like to know where my sister's reasoning came from. The bride is rather thin, but I never knew her to act negatively toward people who are overweight. I just assumed it was a small wedding party, and the bride may have been able to ask one more person, but there were two of us so it would have been difficult to have us both. And of course my sister never considered the fact that my brother didn't ask her brother to be a groomsman. And the timing was so terrible; the bride finally had
the nerve to bring up the incident, the response was not one of clarification, but one that made the bride feel even worse. And my understanding is that you never ask a bride to justify her choice of  bridesmaids. Fortunately, she still married my brother and my sister was on her best behavior during the wedding.    bms0603-00

My mother always saw my maid of honor at a local retailer, because she worked there, and they would have talks about the wedding. This girl who is supposedly my friend has told my mother that,  1)  I called my mom a wedding Hitler  and 2) that my fiance is an athiest , none of which is true.........Then she complained about the food we had at the wedding rehearsal dinner, and told me that the church I was getting married in was small and dumpy and that I should have had the sense and taste to pick a better church. (This is the church I have gone to my whole life.) Aahhh!!!!! I am so glad I am moving to another state!  BMS0524-00

I was one of 8 bridesmaids at a wedding in Pennsylvania last September. One of the bridesmaids, we'll call her Sandy, brought her boyfriend of one year, Steve, along with her to the wedding from California. The day before the wedding we were going around doing bridesmaid errands while her boyfriend decided he was going to go to a bar and watch sports. We got back to the hotel about 5:00 PM and her boyfriend is arriving at the same time but has 2 other guys drive him and his rental car to the hotel because he was too drunk to drive.  Sandy was horrified because this was all happening in front of the bride and her family.  Sandy and Steve proceeded into the hotel. 

About 45 minutes later the police show up to the hotel at their room.  Apparently they were fighting so loud that somebody at the hotel called the police.  They gave them a warning and advised Sandy to get another room in the hotel.  The hotel was told under no circumstances were they to give out that room number.  Later that night Steve came up to our rooms to try to find out where Sandy was and the bride's brothers were about the beat the guy up.  Steve then went down to the front front desk asking where she was and threatened to kill the clerk if they didn't tell him where Sandy was. The hotel clerk hit the panic button and the police came and arrested Steve. The police told us that he would probably be out of jail around 6:30 in the morning (the day of the wedding).  We were all worried about him showing up at the wedding and causing a scene.  Little did we know he was going to do more than that.

Around 7:15 AM the bride and I get a call in our room from Sandy, crying and carrying on. The first thing out of her mouth was "You are going to wish you never invited me to be in your wedding".  Steve was released from jail and found out what room she was in from the morning shift clerk at the hotel and went to her room.  For some reason Sandy opened the door.  He stormed through the door saw her dress for the wedding hanging there, ripped it to shreds and then left.  Luckily I sew a lot. We had to borrow a sewing machine from one of the bride's in-laws and managed to put seams where there weren't supposed to be seams and then had to actually sew Sandy into the dress right before the wedding. The poor bride was already had enough stress and this just made it worse. She laughs about it now because it was such a memorable experience for all of us. Needless to say, I think Sandy and Steve are still seeing each other although I do think Steve is now seeking therapy.   BMS0517-00

When I got married the first time, I asked my best friend Julie to be my Maid of Honor.   Julie and I have been best friends since the sixth grade.  I asked Dawn to be my bridesmaid. Dawn and I had been friends for several years, but are not as close and Julie and I.  Since my husband-to-be and I were young (we were only 20 and in college) and paying for this wedding ourselves, we decided to keep the wedding as small as possible. There were only 25 people invited. My friend Debbie had offered to play her cello as I walked down the aisle.  I was honored and accepted her offer. Debbie is a member of the local symphony orchestra and a gifted musician who usually commands $500 for a performance.

Julie was more than happy and flexible about shopping for dresses.  She came with a lot of ideas and excitement.  Dawn, on the other hand, was a nightmare. She was unavailable most of the time and didn't care for most of my choices.  Needless to say, Dawn didn't like the dresses I chose.

Anyway, cut to the night before the wedding.  Julie, Debbie and the rest of the bridal party (with the exception of Dawn, who had something more important to do) have a rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and are finishing up decorating the hall.  I went home to call Dawn to make sure she knew where the wedding was going to be held and that everything was alright with her.  To my utter shock she told me (and I quote) "Oh yeah. I meant to call you. I'm moving tomorrow and I don't know if I'll be able to be in the wedding. I'll give you a call tomorrow morning to let you know for sure."  I was completely shattered!!  The wedding was in 12 hours and she "was going to give me a call to let me know"?? How could she plan to move on the day she had agreed to stand up in my wedding?!?

Luckily, Debbie is a really flexible person and agreed to stand in Dawn's place. I called Dawn to tell her that she needn't bother herself with my wedding and that I had found a replacement.

Unfortunately, Dawn was a perfect size six and Debbie was closer to a twelve, so the dress would never fit.  As luck would have it, Debbie had just had her senior prom and still had her dress from that.  So I had my MOH in a hunter green velvet dress and the other in a black lace and sequin dress.  It was tacky, but not as tacky as what Dawn had done.   BMS0426-00

We asked the girlfriend of our Best Friend/Best Man to be in our wedding, more as a courtesy to him, to show him that we cared for him and wanted to show our acceptance of his relationship, etc.  She's an RN, she's educated, etc. Unfortunately, you would have never known it this night! She was fine throughout the ceremony, but started drinking, heavily, at the reception. Towards the end of the reception, she was so plowed that she began to scream out to everyone that she wanted to have sex with the "navy boy", the honorary Best Man and Groom's Brother!! She also began walking up to the men and taking their hands, placing them on her and under her dress, saying, "Look, I'm not wearing any underwear!" She then began to hike up her dress in front of the men. Needless to say, I have never heard from her again. And our Best Man is still our Best Friend, however, their relationship ended when she hooked up with her ex-boyfriend while "back home" visiting, on a trip that my best friend paid for, feeling sorry for her because her dad almost died of a heart attack. They had been dating for a year and they had even discussed marriage!    BMS0418-00

My own wedding day was a lovely one, marred only by the behavior of one of our participants. I had three bridesmaids and one matron of honor (my sister), but my fiance and I had also asked several of our siblings and friends to do readings during the ceremony.

One college pal of mine--we'll call her Lisa--had spent a great deal of time during and just after our college days bitching and moaning about all the different weddings she'd been in (something like eleven--she was from a big family!).  Lisa would roll her eyes at the thought of being forced at bridal gunpoint to wear yet another tacky gown in shrimp taffeta or lilac organza. Beyond this, she had special venom reserved for the supposed "friends" and "close cousins" who'd inflicted these outfits and responsibilities on her to begin with.

So when the time came to plan my own wedding, I immediately discounted Lisa as a possible bridesmaid. My thinking was that I was doing her a favor--that to ask her would place her in an awkward position since she'd so clearly, and on so many occasions, expressed to me her disdain and dislike for the job.

My fiance and I decided to ask Lisa to be one of the readers. She agreed readily, but it was all downhill from there. She did a lot of complaining a) about the fact that I'd not felt close enough to her to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids (!!!) and b) about the reading we'd chosen for her (a favorite poem specifically written for a wedding).

The wedding day arrives, and I am, of course, the proverbial nervous bride. I have Diet Coke and about two bites of toast for breakfast and still feel like I am going to throw up. Fortunately, my bridesmaids and sister arrive at my parents' house to help me dress and they get me calmed down and laughing and actually sort of enjoying the process of becoming a bride. Meantime, Lisa has decided that she needs to run into town for cigarettes and God knows what else, and she can't use anyone's car but mine. Nope, no other car will do but my beat-up Chevy Cavalier.

Lisa comes to my parents' house, literally bangs on the door until my sister opens it, and demands to see me because she needs the car keys. Turns out that I have other things on my mind and have not a single clue in the world as to where my car keys are--nor do I care. I'm getting married! What the heck do I need to keep track of my car keys on my wedding day for! Lisa is turned away, thank God, by my sister, who can tell that seeing Lisa in this bitchy, demanding mood would do no good for my glowing bridal self.

Lisa then proceeds to go over to another family member's house, where my fiance happens to be getting dressed himself. She demands to be shown to the liquor closet, and proceeds to down not one, not two, but three shots of straight vodka--all the while complaining bitterly to my fiance that I have refused to find my car keys for her.   Bear in mind that this heavy drinking is taking place at 9:30 AM, as we are getting married at 11:00 AM.

My poor fiance doesn't know WHAT to do with Lisa, but finally says that he needs to shave and finish getting dressed. He leaves her alone and when he comes out again, she is gone.

Lisa shows up for the ceremony having downed yet a fourth shot of vodka. She bobs and sways throughout her reading, skipping an entire large chunk of the poem, and then trips on the way back to her seat. At the reception, she propositions one of the groomsmen IN FRONT OF HIS FIANCE and when he looks askance at her, she insists, "No, I'm serious! Really! Let's go!" Unbelievable. I have not seen her or spoken to her since our wedding, which was nearly nine years ago.  BMS0327-00

I had asked my sister to be the matron of honor in my wedding but to my surprise she said no.  So, I thought the next choice would be my best friend whom I will call Jewels. At my reception she came so angry that the man we will call "Joe" was not interested in her romantically.  When it came time to throw the bouquet a cousin Joe was interested in caught it.  Our best man thought it would be funny to arrange for Joe to catch the garter.  After watching a grown woman throw a temper tantrum like a 2 year old I told Jewels to get over it.  At that point she took it upon herself to tell the whole reception that I was indeed pregnant.  Something my parents hadn't known yet.  Needless to say I wasn't happy.  The best part is that she finally has found a big enough sucker to marry her . Revenge can be so sweet.   BMS0507-00

I've chosen to write about my MOH because although she was not able to be the center of attention at my wedding/reception, she did manage to make her presence known later that evening.

A small town was the site of my reception and several close guests and family members, along with most of the wedding party chose to retreat to a nearby hotel following the reception.  Once settled into the hotel, my husband and I socialized with everyone for a brief time before retreating to our room for the night (we left for our honeymoon the following morning).  Soon afterwards, the phone began to ring and people began to pound on the door.  Having a sense of humor, my husband and I endured the interruptions for the first few minutes, hoping that our friends/family would come to their senses and have some respect for our privacy. For the most part they did.

The exception, my MOH! To make a long story short, after an hour or so of interruptions, she did go to her own room, only to find out that her ex-boyfriend was on his way to the hotel, with his new girlfriend. Once again outside our door, she began sobbing. I finally gave in around 4am and invited her in to sleep on the floor. She did come in but declined to sleep on the floor. After venting for about 15 minutes, she left.

Needless to say, neither my husband nor myself were pleased with her actions. It wasn't until over 2 ½ years later, when she called to ask me to be the MOH in her wedding, that she apologized.  The reason: I told her that my husband was thrilled that she was getting married and that he couldn't wait until her wedding night… BMS0117-00

I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a girlfriend who was one of my bridesmaids, years earlier. She was constantly asking me questions about budgets for her upcoming wedding which I was happy to share with her some of the things I did for mine. My wedding was not elaborate as we paid for everything ourselves and bought a house at the same time. But, we paid for everything, cash, so we would not have to face any bills later on.

The church where the wedding is to take place is 1-1/2 hours driving distance from the brides and groom's home. The bride chose it because it had a tall black marble cross - she had no affiliation with that church or that religion. We arrive at the church for the rehearsal and the bride is disappointed that the cross is not solid marble but squares of marble glued to a wall. The head minister-ess shows up and is in a bad mood and is barking at everyone. The bride shows up an hour late. The MOH never shows up. Only 3 other bridesmaids show up out of the 8 of us. The groom never shows up at all but his father is there, snoring in the back pew. We go through our paces and then it's time to leave. Later that night, I receive a call from the bride that she and the MOH got into a fight and that the MOH took off with her wedding gown. I've got my fingers crossed that the two of them can patch things up before the wedding.

The wedding day. I constantly receive frantic phone calls from the bride's mother and younger sister as the younger sister came in from out of state for the wedding and ordered the wrong sized bridesmaid dress on purpose. I contacted a seamstress friend, who properly fitted me in my dress, and she is wiling to re-do the sister's dress if we can get it to her on time. The sister is constantly making up excuses to not go to the seamstress, like, "Her number isn't listed." "She refuses to take my dress." "She won't be done in time." "She won't let me take the dress to her house." I knew these were all untrue as the seamstress was calling me to find out where the sister was and when she would be getting to her house. The dress is remade from a size 10 to a size 6 in under 90 minutes!

Time to go to the bride's house. I get there and there and no bride. However, I find out that the MOH brought back the wedding gown at 3 in the morning but it is not known if she will be there for the wedding. The photographer arrives but still no bride - she shows up 2 hours late as she decides at the last minute to have hair extensions added so that she can look like she has long flowing hair for her wedding day. No one recognizes her. The bride is changing in to her gown and realizes that her mother has all the flowers and jewlery but her mother is not there. I call the MOB and she refuses to come over but insists that she'll be at the church. The MOB also has the sister with the newly redone gown and she is needed over at the bride's house for pictures. The MOB will not get there in time so the photographer goes around the neighborhood, stripping all the neighbors yards from their flowers, for the bride and her pictures, but is jewelry-less. I am embarassed! The MOB finally shows up with sister and dress in tow. The sister brought along her girlfriend who is constantly in the way and distracting the sister from doing her bridesmaid duties. I threw the sister in a bedroom with her dress and yell at her to change.

Time to leave for the church. The bride's distant cousin owns and runs a limo service. She has hired him to take us to the church. We all clamor in to the limo for the 1-1/2 ride to the church with the tall black marble cross. We get stuck in traffic for an extra hour.

Get to the church. The groom is there but half the groomsmen are not. They all arrive late on purpose, they didn't want to be seen in a tuxedo as none of them fit. All sizes were incorrectly ordered and none of them had enough brains to take them back to the tux shop and get the correct ones. I haul each groomsmen out of their cars and order them in to the church for the wedding after informing them that the wedding had been postponed until their arrival. The ring bearer is 5 years old and is wearing size 13 mens shoes. He is also wearing pants that are 3 sizes too small and 6 inches too short. The little flowergirl is pitching a fit as the bride had hair extensions done to her too and the little girl doesn't like having long hair as it gets in her way. The mother of the flower girl is mortified that the bride would do such a thing without asking permission to do this to her child. The minister is upset and refuses to perform the ceremony as the check had bounced. Everyone in the church adds a little something to the collection plate going around just to see this wedding take place.

The wedding starts. Half the bridal party is trying to do their own thing. The altar area is not large enough for all of us to fit up there so 8 attendants, on each side of the altar, are crammed together. It is hot and stuffy in the church. The minister decides to add her own lecture about correct preparation and doing things the right way - this speech lasts for 45 minutes. The bride almost faints on several ocassions. All 8 bridal attendants huddle close to her to prop her up. The singer soloist gets up to do his thing. A member of the audience decides she can do a better job and gets up there with him to do a singing challenge. The minister admonishes the 2 of them in front of everyone. The ceremony is finally over with. We go outside so that we can get some air and then take off for the reception, back near the bride's house. The bride and groom hop in to the limo and take off.

Two hours into the reception, the MOH comes over and grabs my husband and I and asks us to help her count all the money the bride and groom received as gifts, etc.  I'm thinking that is a bit odd but go along with it. We go out in to the hall and count it all up: $550 total (there were less than 50 guests). My husband goes back to the reception. The MOH tells me that,  "It's not enough." Not enough for what? The bride and groom had not paid any of their vendors and they owe $12K and everyone wants their payments, "Now!" The MOH told me that she told the bride that if she had the money dance, that enough people would dance with them and give them enough money to pay for all their expenses. The bride had anticipated that she would have 400 paying guests. Remember those budget talks I had with the bride? She decided that I didn't know what I was talking about and felt that everyone should pay for her wedding instead.  I looked at the MOH, told her to go to hell, walked back to get my husband, tapped him on the shoulder, tell him to grab his jacket and to walk to the truck now and if anyone stopped us to ignore them and keep going.  On our way out, I noticed another bridesmaid and her husband were also leaving.  My husband has no idea what's going on but knows that I meant business and we get the heck out of there.  Turns out the other couple we saw leaving, decided to get the heck out of there also as the MOH also asked them to pay for the wedding expenses while I was getting my husband.  My husband doesn't know what's going on so I tell him on the way home.  His response was, "I expected this to happen."

I did not receive a thank you note from the bride and groom for the gift I gave them, nor for any work I did on their behalf for their wedding, bridal shower, making of the wedding favors (of which were never handed out). I never received a copy of any of the pictures I was in, as I did this for her when she was in my wedding a few years earlier. The bride, however, still sends me a yearly Christmas card, telling me that I still owe her money for my share of her wedding expenses as I didn't help her with her budgeting needs. Whose wedding was this anyway? BMS0114-00

Well, everyone has bridesmaid horror stories, but here's mine. 

I got married October of last year, in Boston (I live in L.A.). I had two attendants, both friends. When I chose one to be Maid of Honor, I did it because she was a good friend, and also very reliable. I was afraid the other one would take it badly, but she said she was simply honored to be in the wedding at all. I let them pick their own dresses, and I bought the dresses for them. The rest of the wedding planning went without a hitch.

Fast forward to the day of the rehearsal. We all took our places, went through the motions, the priest told us more or less what we'd be expected to do, etc. Then when my fiance and I turned to walk down the aisle after being "married," the (non MOH) bridesmaid jumped out in front of us, sobbing. She announced in front of everyone (both sets of parents AND the priest) that she wouldn't be in the wedding, and she wouldn't say why.

Back at the hotel, I had a private talk with her. She told me that she felt humiliated at not having been chosen MOH. She couldn't bear standing up in front of the church as just a bridesmaid, and she wanted out of the wedding. I told her that I was saddened her choice, but that if she truly didn't want to be in the wedding, it was fine by me.

We all went to the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, attended by every single person who was invited to the wedding (just about everyone had to come from out of town). Many of my family members who I hadn't seen in a couple of years were present, and it was wonderful to get a chance to see everyone before the wedding. The bridesmaid retreated to a table and proceeded to get sloshed, causing a scene at the restaurant. Wearing her napkin on her head, she proclaimed loudly that she had changed her mind - she was willing to humiliate herself on my account and walk as a lowly bridesmaid at my wedding. We discreetly cut her off from the alcohol, but then she staggered over to the table where I sat with my fiance and both our parents, and tried to snatch drinks off our table (she does not normally drink any alcohol whatsoever). Well, I'd about had it with her at this point, but didn't know what to do.

At the end of the evening I went back to my hotel room. I wanted to get away from the bridesmaid so I could get a decent night's sleep. Unfortunately, she followed me. By now she had sobered up, but she had yet another change of heart... she still wasn't sure if she wanted to be in the wedding. After a long, tearful diatribe about how heartbroken she was that I hadn't chosen her as MOH, and how humiliated she'd feel wearing a big poofy bridesmaid dress (which she chose, and I paid for) in front of the whole church, I finally lost my patience with her and told her that I did not WANT her to walk in my wedding. She got angry and left my room in a huff. I felt horrible, and even though by this time it was early in the morning, I had a hard time getting to sleep.

The next morning at breakfast I told my mom the whole story, though she'd witnessed most of it herself (except the last part in the hotel room). My mom finished her breakfast, marched up to the bridesmaid's hotel room, and told her to pack her bags and go back to LA, that she was not welcome at the wedding at all. She was actually concerned that this girl would make a scene during the wedding ceremony itself.

The former bridesmaid packed her bags and left Boston, and I haven't heard from her since. I can't say I'm sorry that the friendship broke up, because I felt like I'd seen this girl's true colors at last... but I do regret that we had to use such harsh measures. I still question whether or not we did the right thing, but I suppose if she'd ruined the ceremony with her lunacy I'd have had bigger regrets.

The rest of the wedding went smoothly, beautifully, like a dream. My Maid of Honor was an angel who was incredibly helpful, and managed the bridesmaid situation with dignity and grace (even though the bridesmaid was bad mouthing her at the rehearsal dinner). Obviously I made the right choice for MOH. I'm only sorry that we had this one big problem with the bridesmaid. I have no idea what the moral of this story is, except make sure your attendants are mentally stable!    BMS0321-00