BRIDESMAIDS AND BEASTMEN
The "tortured" and the "torturees"
Spring 2000
Archive
Hi Jeanne,
I have long been flabbergasted by the lengths my best friend's sister-in-law will go to
to save a few dollars (such as having plastic flowers at her own wedding), but her antics
at my best friend's wedding took the cake!
I was lucky enough to be the Maid of Honour at Hillary's wedding, and Rhoda was a
bridesmaid. We searched long and hard for bridesmaid dresses that would both suit and
please all 4 bridesmaids - not an easy task! We finally found the perfect dress, but when
Rhoda learned that the price was CAN$150 (a very reasonable price for a bridesmaid dress
these days), she literally started to cry! Hillary was dismayed, and being the
kind-hearted person that she is, offered to pay for Rhoda's dress. And what did Rhoda do?
Instead of (a) offering to step out of the bridal party or (b) offering to pay Hillary
back in installments, she accepted!
Yes, dear Rhoda made many faux pas that summer - including throwing a surprise bridal
shower for Hillary without inviting the Maid of Honour or the Mother of the Bride! The
topper came after the wedding, however. Hillary asked for the return of the bridesmaids
dress - as was her right, considering she paid for it! Hillary planned to have it altered
so that she could wear it to a friend's wedding later that year. And she did get it back -
fresh from the washing machine. After not paying one dime towards the dress, Rhoda was too
cheap to pay 10 bucks to have it properly dry cleaned - and threw it in the washer.
Needless to say, the dress was ruined. BMS0704-00
I work for a rental hall for weddings, parties etc. The other day it started as normal
with the catering company arriving to set up food and decorations etc. The person that
rents the hall and signs the papers is required to pay a cleaning deposit of $175.00
BEFORE any decorating or activity has begun. This person happened to be the bride .
However she has not arrived yet of course. SO, a coworker and I try to find someone
to pay (LIKE A FAMILY MEMBER) . We find the father of the bride. PERFECT! We explain
the contract and show him the papers , so he says '"Do you take visa?'"
NO sorry,just cash . "Ok I'll look into it," he says and
disappears. An hour later no one has paid, can't find the FOB and the guests are
starting to show up. Then the bride and groom show up in the limo (Humvee limo that is
like the humvee jeep). Then we spot the FOB and again tell him we need the deposit.
He says can't; this wait? Sorry no . At this moment the best man comes over
yelling, "What's going on?", like we're un invited guests or something ,
then takes out a wad of cash and throws down two hundred dollar bills, when told of the
deposit. So he signs the paper for the agreement . As this is happening he
keeps asking my coworker "Are you married"? over and over finally she says no
and he says, "I don't give a hoot if your married or not." Then he says,
" THOSE PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE EARLIER TODAY WERE NICE, SO I GUESS THERE'S GOT TO BE
ONE BAD APPLE IN THE BUNCH.'' This man was so rude and we did not say
or do anything to deserve that .
But wait there is more. It turns out the rude best man is in charge of the
catering because it's his family business so its like a gift to the B&G . So
because of this the best man or his catering staff have to sweep the hall as posted in the
agreement of the contract. End of the wedding comes, they sweep (mostly this staff.) Of
course there is still confetti on the floor . Now there is a disagreement between the best
man and my coworker . She says that the floor is now fine and that she will now return the
deposit and he says that the floor is not fine and will sweep until it is done. Go figure.
Then he starts yelling and screaming about my coworker riding him all night and how hes
gonna make her life hell. At this point hes using the f-word and throwing the broom around
so we call the police and he dares to get in the cop's face going on and on. The cop
told him in a mean glare to "BACK OFF" and he did. He had been almost
close enough to kiss the cop! Then the cop, my coworker and I go inside the building to
talk and the best man is told to stay outside . Of course he didn't think that he had to
listen . He was really making the cop mad. Finally after all the nonsense and
the removing of dishes from the kitchen (some of which broke on the ground because of the
best man himself). The best man (BEAST MAN is more like it) WAS escorted off the property
by the wonderful police man. And this man is part of the family restaurant business
which has lots of chains so I guess he thinks it gives him a license to be that way.
(The name of the resturant is his last name.) Never have I seen such arrogance!
Love the web site! BMS0612-00
I recently attended my brother's wedding to a lovely, but quiet, woman. My brother and
his bride each had three attendants; the bride chose for hers her sister and two college
friends, and my brother chose three of his closest friends. My sister and I were asked to
do readings in the wedding, and the brother of the bride was asked to be an usher. I was
perfectly fine with this arrangement, as I am a student in a different state and would not
be able to attend many of the pre-wedding activities. Frankly, although I liked the bride,
I had only had a few encounters with her so I would have never expected to be in the
bridal party.
My sister, on the other hand, felt differently. As I mentioned, the bride is very
quiet, however, my sister doesn't understand the meaning of the word. So, a few weeks
before the wedding, the bride called my sister, in tears, asking if my sister didn't like
her. My sister said of course she did and asked why she would feel this way.
Apparently there had been some misunderstood incident a few months prior to the phone
call, and the bride was worrying about it that entire time. My sister is the type to put
out a vibe when she is resentful about something, and having been married herself, should
have understood the stresses facing the bride. Instead, my sister only thought the bride
was strange for waiting so long to mention the incident and did not appreciate the bravery
it took to even mention it.
The truly horrible part comes next. Rather than leaving it alone, my sister says,
"You know, I have something I need to bring up too. My feelings are really hurt that
you did not ask me and my sister to be bridesmaids, and I think the reason you did not ask
is that we are overweight." I don't even know how the bride responded. I would like
to know where my sister's reasoning came from. The bride is rather thin, but I never knew
her to act negatively toward people who are overweight. I just assumed it was a small
wedding party, and the bride may have been able to ask one more person, but there were two
of us so it would have been difficult to have us both. And of course my sister never
considered the fact that my brother didn't ask her brother to be a groomsman. And the
timing was so terrible; the bride finally had
the nerve to bring up the incident, the response was not one of clarification, but one
that made the bride feel even worse. And my understanding is that you never ask a bride to
justify her choice of bridesmaids. Fortunately, she still married my brother and my
sister was on her best behavior during the wedding. bms0603-00
My mother always saw my maid of honor at a local retailer, because she
worked there, and they would have talks about the wedding. This girl who is supposedly my
friend has told my mother that, 1) I called my mom a wedding Hitler and
2) that my fiance is an athiest , none of which is true.........Then she complained about
the food we had at the wedding rehearsal dinner, and told me that the church I was getting
married in was small and dumpy and that I should have had the sense and taste to pick a
better church. (This is the church I have gone to my whole life.) Aahhh!!!!! I am so glad
I am moving to another state! BMS0524-00
I was one of 8 bridesmaids at a wedding in Pennsylvania last September. One of the
bridesmaids, we'll call her Sandy, brought her boyfriend of one year, Steve, along with
her to the wedding from California. The day before the wedding we were going around doing
bridesmaid errands while her boyfriend decided he was going to go to a bar and watch
sports. We got back to the hotel about 5:00 PM and her boyfriend is arriving at the same
time but has 2 other guys drive him and his rental car to the hotel because he was too
drunk to drive. Sandy was horrified because this was all happening in front of the
bride and her family. Sandy and Steve proceeded into the hotel.
About 45 minutes later the police show up to the hotel at their room. Apparently
they were fighting so loud that somebody at the hotel called the police. They gave
them a warning and advised Sandy to get another room in the hotel. The hotel was
told under no circumstances were they to give out that room number. Later that night
Steve came up to our rooms to try to find out where Sandy was and the bride's brothers
were about the beat the guy up. Steve then went down to the front front desk asking
where she was and threatened to kill the clerk if they didn't tell him where Sandy was.
The hotel clerk hit the panic button and the police came and arrested Steve. The police
told us that he would probably be out of jail around 6:30 in the morning (the day of the
wedding). We were all worried about him showing up at the wedding and causing a
scene. Little did we know he was going to do more than that.
Around 7:15 AM the bride and I get a call in our room from Sandy, crying and carrying
on. The first thing out of her mouth was "You are going to wish you never invited me
to be in your wedding". Steve was released from jail and found out what room
she was in from the morning shift clerk at the hotel and went to her room. For some
reason Sandy opened the door. He stormed through the door saw her dress for the
wedding hanging there, ripped it to shreds and then left. Luckily I sew a lot. We
had to borrow a sewing machine from one of the bride's in-laws and managed to put seams
where there weren't supposed to be seams and then had to actually sew Sandy into the dress
right before the wedding. The poor bride was already had enough stress and this just made
it worse. She laughs about it now because it was such a memorable experience for all of
us. Needless to say, I think Sandy and Steve are still seeing each other although I do
think Steve is now seeking therapy. BMS0517-00
When I got married the first time, I asked my best friend Julie to be my Maid of Honor.
Julie and I have been best friends since the sixth grade. I asked Dawn to be
my bridesmaid. Dawn and I had been friends for several years, but are not as close and
Julie and I. Since my husband-to-be and I were young (we were only 20 and in
college) and paying for this wedding ourselves, we decided to keep the wedding as small as
possible. There were only 25 people invited. My friend Debbie had offered to play her
cello as I walked down the aisle. I was honored and accepted her offer. Debbie is a
member of the local symphony orchestra and a gifted musician who usually commands $500 for
a performance.
Julie was more than happy and flexible about shopping for dresses. She came with
a lot of ideas and excitement. Dawn, on the other hand, was a nightmare. She was
unavailable most of the time and didn't care for most of my choices. Needless to
say, Dawn didn't like the dresses I chose.
Anyway, cut to the night before the wedding. Julie, Debbie and the rest of the
bridal party (with the exception of Dawn, who had something more important to do) have a
rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and are finishing up decorating the hall. I went home
to call Dawn to make sure she knew where the wedding was going to be held and that
everything was alright with her. To my utter shock she told me (and I quote)
"Oh yeah. I meant to call you. I'm moving tomorrow and I don't know if I'll be able
to be in the wedding. I'll give you a call tomorrow morning to let you know for
sure." I was completely shattered!! The wedding was in 12 hours and she
"was going to give me a call to let me know"?? How could she plan to move on the
day she had agreed to stand up in my wedding?!?
Luckily, Debbie is a really flexible person and agreed to stand in Dawn's place. I
called Dawn to tell her that she needn't bother herself with my wedding and that I had
found a replacement.
Unfortunately, Dawn was a perfect size six and Debbie was closer to a twelve, so the
dress would never fit. As luck would have it, Debbie had just had her senior prom
and still had her dress from that. So I had my MOH in a hunter green velvet dress
and the other in a black lace and sequin dress. It was tacky, but not as tacky as
what Dawn had done. BMS0426-00
We asked the girlfriend of our Best Friend/Best Man to be in our wedding, more as a
courtesy to him, to show him that we cared for him and wanted to show our acceptance of
his relationship, etc. She's an RN, she's educated, etc. Unfortunately, you would
have never known it this night! She was fine throughout the ceremony, but started
drinking, heavily, at the reception. Towards the end of the reception, she was so plowed
that she began to scream out to everyone that she wanted to have sex with the "navy
boy", the honorary Best Man and Groom's Brother!! She also began walking up to the
men and taking their hands, placing them on her and under her dress, saying, "Look,
I'm not wearing any underwear!" She then began to hike up her dress in front of the
men. Needless to say, I have never heard from her again. And our Best Man is still our
Best Friend, however, their relationship ended when she hooked up with her ex-boyfriend
while "back home" visiting, on a trip that my best friend paid for, feeling
sorry for her because her dad almost died of a heart attack. They had been dating for a
year and they had even discussed marriage! BMS0418-00
My own wedding day was a lovely one, marred only by the behavior of one of
our participants. I had three bridesmaids and one matron of honor (my sister), but my
fiance and I had also asked several of our siblings and friends to do readings during the
ceremony.
One college pal of mine--we'll call her Lisa--had spent a great deal of
time during and just after our college days bitching and moaning about all the different
weddings she'd been in (something like eleven--she was from a big family!). Lisa
would roll her eyes at the thought of being forced at bridal gunpoint to wear yet another
tacky gown in shrimp taffeta or lilac organza. Beyond this, she had special venom reserved
for the supposed "friends" and "close cousins" who'd inflicted these
outfits and responsibilities on her to begin with.
So when the time came to plan my own wedding, I immediately discounted
Lisa as a possible bridesmaid. My thinking was that I was doing her a favor--that to ask
her would place her in an awkward position since she'd so clearly, and on so many
occasions, expressed to me her disdain and dislike for the job.
My fiance and I decided to ask Lisa to be one of the readers. She agreed
readily, but it was all downhill from there. She did a lot of complaining a) about the
fact that I'd not felt close enough to her to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids (!!!)
and b) about the reading we'd chosen for her (a favorite poem specifically written for a
wedding).
The wedding day arrives, and I am, of course, the proverbial nervous
bride. I have Diet Coke and about two bites of toast for breakfast and still feel like I
am going to throw up. Fortunately, my bridesmaids and sister arrive at my parents' house
to help me dress and they get me calmed down and laughing and actually sort of enjoying
the process of becoming a bride. Meantime, Lisa has decided that she needs to run into
town for cigarettes and God knows what else, and she can't use anyone's car but mine.
Nope, no other car will do but my beat-up Chevy Cavalier.
Lisa comes to my parents' house, literally bangs on the door until my
sister opens it, and demands to see me because she needs the car keys. Turns out that I
have other things on my mind and have not a single clue in the world as to where my car
keys are--nor do I care. I'm getting married! What the heck do I need to keep track of my
car keys on my wedding day for! Lisa is turned away, thank God, by my sister, who can tell
that seeing Lisa in this bitchy, demanding mood would do no good for my glowing bridal
self.
Lisa then proceeds to go over to another family member's house, where my
fiance happens to be getting dressed himself. She demands to be shown to the liquor
closet, and proceeds to down not one, not two, but three shots of straight vodka--all the
while complaining bitterly to my fiance that I have refused to find my car keys for her.
Bear in mind that this heavy drinking is taking place at 9:30 AM, as we are getting
married at 11:00 AM.
My poor fiance doesn't know WHAT to do with Lisa, but finally says that he
needs to shave and finish getting dressed. He leaves her alone and when he comes out
again, she is gone.
Lisa shows up for the ceremony having downed yet a fourth shot of vodka.
She bobs and sways throughout her reading, skipping an entire large chunk of the poem, and
then trips on the way back to her seat. At the reception, she propositions one of the
groomsmen IN FRONT OF HIS FIANCE and when he looks askance at her, she insists, "No,
I'm serious! Really! Let's go!" Unbelievable. I have not seen her or spoken to her
since our wedding, which was nearly nine years ago. BMS0327-00
I had asked my sister to be the matron of honor in my wedding but to my surprise she
said no. So, I thought the next choice would be my best friend whom I will call
Jewels. At my reception she came so angry that the man we will call "Joe" was
not interested in her romantically. When it came time to throw the bouquet a cousin
Joe was interested in caught it. Our best man thought it would be funny to arrange
for Joe to catch the garter. After watching a grown woman throw a temper tantrum
like a 2 year old I told Jewels to get over it. At that point she took it upon
herself to tell the whole reception that I was indeed pregnant. Something my parents
hadn't known yet. Needless to say I wasn't happy. The best part is that she
finally has found a big enough sucker to marry her . Revenge can be so sweet.
BMS0507-00
I've chosen to write about my MOH because although she was not able to be the center of
attention at my wedding/reception, she did manage to make her presence known later that
evening.
A small town was the site of my reception and several close guests and family members,
along with most of the wedding party chose to retreat to a nearby hotel following the
reception. Once settled into the hotel, my husband and I socialized with everyone
for a brief time before retreating to our room for the night (we left for our honeymoon
the following morning). Soon afterwards, the phone began to ring and people began to
pound on the door. Having a sense of humor, my husband and I endured the
interruptions for the first few minutes, hoping that our friends/family would come to
their senses and have some respect for our privacy. For the most part they did.
The exception, my MOH! To make a long story short, after an hour or so of
interruptions, she did go to her own room, only to find out that her ex-boyfriend was on
his way to the hotel, with his new girlfriend. Once again outside our door, she began
sobbing. I finally gave in around 4am and invited her in to sleep on the floor. She did
come in but declined to sleep on the floor. After venting for about 15 minutes, she left.
Needless to say, neither my husband nor myself were pleased with her actions. It wasn't
until over 2 ½ years later, when she called to ask me to be the MOH in her wedding, that
she apologized. The reason: I told her that my husband was thrilled that she was
getting married and that he couldn't wait until her wedding night
BMS0117-00
I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a girlfriend who was one of my bridesmaids, years
earlier. She was constantly asking me questions about budgets for her upcoming wedding
which I was happy to share with her some of the things I did for mine. My wedding was not
elaborate as we paid for everything ourselves and bought a house at the same time. But, we
paid for everything, cash, so we would not have to face any bills later on.
The church where the wedding is to take place is 1-1/2 hours driving distance from the
brides and groom's home. The bride chose it because it had a tall black marble cross - she
had no affiliation with that church or that religion. We arrive at the church for the
rehearsal and the bride is disappointed that the cross is not solid marble but squares of
marble glued to a wall. The head minister-ess shows up and is in a bad mood and is barking
at everyone. The bride shows up an hour late. The MOH never shows up. Only 3 other
bridesmaids show up out of the 8 of us. The groom never shows up at all but his father is
there, snoring in the back pew. We go through our paces and then it's time to leave. Later
that night, I receive a call from the bride that she and the MOH got into a fight and that
the MOH took off with her wedding gown. I've got my fingers crossed that the two of them
can patch things up before the wedding.
The wedding day. I constantly receive frantic phone calls from the bride's mother and
younger sister as the younger sister came in from out of state for the wedding and ordered
the wrong sized bridesmaid dress on purpose. I contacted a seamstress friend, who properly
fitted me in my dress, and she is wiling to re-do the sister's dress if we can get it to
her on time. The sister is constantly making up excuses to not go to the seamstress, like,
"Her number isn't listed." "She refuses to take my dress." "She
won't be done in time." "She won't let me take the dress to her house." I
knew these were all untrue as the seamstress was calling me to find out where the sister
was and when she would be getting to her house. The dress is remade from a size 10 to a
size 6 in under 90 minutes!
Time to go to the bride's house. I get there and there and no bride. However, I find
out that the MOH brought back the wedding gown at 3 in the morning but it is not known if
she will be there for the wedding. The photographer arrives but still no bride - she shows
up 2 hours late as she decides at the last minute to have hair extensions added so that
she can look like she has long flowing hair for her wedding day. No one recognizes her.
The bride is changing in to her gown and realizes that her mother has all the flowers and
jewlery but her mother is not there. I call the MOB and she refuses to come over but
insists that she'll be at the church. The MOB also has the sister with the newly redone
gown and she is needed over at the bride's house for pictures. The MOB will not get there
in time so the photographer goes around the neighborhood, stripping all the neighbors
yards from their flowers, for the bride and her pictures, but is jewelry-less. I am
embarassed! The MOB finally shows up with sister and dress in tow. The sister brought
along her girlfriend who is constantly in the way and distracting the sister from doing
her bridesmaid duties. I threw the sister in a bedroom with her dress and yell at her to
change.
Time to leave for the church. The bride's distant cousin owns and runs a limo service.
She has hired him to take us to the church. We all clamor in to the limo for the 1-1/2
ride to the church with the tall black marble cross. We get stuck in traffic for an extra
hour.
Get to the church. The groom is there but half the groomsmen are not. They all arrive
late on purpose, they didn't want to be seen in a tuxedo as none of them fit. All sizes
were incorrectly ordered and none of them had enough brains to take them back to the tux
shop and get the correct ones. I haul each groomsmen out of their cars and order them in
to the church for the wedding after informing them that the wedding had been postponed
until their arrival. The ring bearer is 5 years old and is wearing size 13 mens shoes. He
is also wearing pants that are 3 sizes too small and 6 inches too short. The little
flowergirl is pitching a fit as the bride had hair extensions done to her too and the
little girl doesn't like having long hair as it gets in her way. The mother of the flower
girl is mortified that the bride would do such a thing without asking permission to do
this to her child. The minister is upset and refuses to perform the ceremony as the check
had bounced. Everyone in the church adds a little something to the collection plate going
around just to see this wedding take place.
The wedding starts. Half the bridal party is trying to do their own thing. The altar
area is not large enough for all of us to fit up there so 8 attendants, on each side of
the altar, are crammed together. It is hot and stuffy in the church. The minister decides
to add her own lecture about correct preparation and doing things the right way - this
speech lasts for 45 minutes. The bride almost faints on several ocassions. All 8 bridal
attendants huddle close to her to prop her up. The singer soloist gets up to do his thing.
A member of the audience decides she can do a better job and gets up there with him to do
a singing challenge. The minister admonishes the 2 of them in front of everyone. The
ceremony is finally over with. We go outside so that we can get some air and then take off
for the reception, back near the bride's house. The bride and groom hop in to the limo and
take off.
Two hours into the reception, the MOH comes over and grabs my husband and I and asks us
to help her count all the money the bride and groom received as gifts, etc. I'm
thinking that is a bit odd but go along with it. We go out in to the hall and count it all
up: $550 total (there were less than 50 guests). My husband goes back to the reception.
The MOH tells me that, "It's not enough." Not enough for what? The bride
and groom had not paid any of their vendors and they owe $12K and everyone wants their
payments, "Now!" The MOH told me that she told the bride that if she had the
money dance, that enough people would dance with them and give them enough money to pay
for all their expenses. The bride had anticipated that she would have 400 paying guests.
Remember those budget talks I had with the bride? She decided that I didn't know what I
was talking about and felt that everyone should pay for her wedding instead. I
looked at the MOH, told her to go to hell, walked back to get my husband, tapped him on
the shoulder, tell him to grab his jacket and to walk to the truck now and if anyone
stopped us to ignore them and keep going. On our way out, I noticed another
bridesmaid and her husband were also leaving. My husband has no idea what's going on
but knows that I meant business and we get the heck out of there. Turns out the
other couple we saw leaving, decided to get the heck out of there also as the MOH also
asked them to pay for the wedding expenses while I was getting my husband. My
husband doesn't know what's going on so I tell him on the way home. His response
was, "I expected this to happen."
I did not receive a thank you note from the bride and groom for the gift I gave them,
nor for any work I did on their behalf for their wedding, bridal shower, making of the
wedding favors (of which were never handed out). I never received a copy of any of the
pictures I was in, as I did this for her when she was in my wedding a few years earlier.
The bride, however, still sends me a yearly Christmas card, telling me that I still owe
her money for my share of her wedding expenses as I didn't help her with her budgeting
needs. Whose wedding was this anyway? BMS0114-00
Well, everyone has bridesmaid horror stories, but here's mine.
I got married October of last year, in Boston (I live in L.A.). I had two attendants,
both friends. When I chose one to be Maid of Honor, I did it because she was a good
friend, and also very reliable. I was afraid the other one would take it badly, but she
said she was simply honored to be in the wedding at all. I let them pick their own
dresses, and I bought the dresses for them. The rest of the wedding planning went without
a hitch.
Fast forward to the day of the rehearsal. We all took our places, went through the
motions, the priest told us more or less what we'd be expected to do, etc. Then when my
fiance and I turned to walk down the aisle after being "married," the (non MOH)
bridesmaid jumped out in front of us, sobbing. She announced in front of everyone (both
sets of parents AND the priest) that she wouldn't be in the wedding, and she wouldn't say
why.
Back at the hotel, I had a private talk with her. She told me that she felt humiliated
at not having been chosen MOH. She couldn't bear standing up in front of the church as
just a bridesmaid, and she wanted out of the wedding. I told her that I was saddened her
choice, but that if she truly didn't want to be in the wedding, it was fine by me.
We all went to the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, attended by every single person
who was invited to the wedding (just about everyone had to come from out of town). Many of
my family members who I hadn't seen in a couple of years were present, and it was
wonderful to get a chance to see everyone before the wedding. The bridesmaid retreated to
a table and proceeded to get sloshed, causing a scene at the restaurant. Wearing her
napkin on her head, she proclaimed loudly that she had changed her mind - she was willing
to humiliate herself on my account and walk as a lowly bridesmaid at my wedding. We
discreetly cut her off from the alcohol, but then she staggered over to the table where I
sat with my fiance and both our parents, and tried to snatch drinks off our table (she
does not normally drink any alcohol whatsoever). Well, I'd about had it with her at this
point, but didn't know what to do.
At the end of the evening I went back to my hotel room. I wanted to get away from the
bridesmaid so I could get a decent night's sleep. Unfortunately, she followed me. By now
she had sobered up, but she had yet another change of heart... she still wasn't sure if
she wanted to be in the wedding. After a long, tearful diatribe about how heartbroken she
was that I hadn't chosen her as MOH, and how humiliated she'd feel wearing a big poofy
bridesmaid dress (which she chose, and I paid for) in front of the whole church, I finally
lost my patience with her and told her that I did not WANT her to walk in my wedding. She
got angry and left my room in a huff. I felt horrible, and even though by this time it was
early in the morning, I had a hard time getting to sleep.
The next morning at breakfast I told my mom the whole story, though she'd witnessed
most of it herself (except the last part in the hotel room). My mom finished her
breakfast, marched up to the bridesmaid's hotel room, and told her to pack her bags and go
back to LA, that she was not welcome at the wedding at all. She was actually concerned
that this girl would make a scene during the wedding ceremony itself.
The former bridesmaid packed her bags and left Boston, and I haven't heard from her
since. I can't say I'm sorry that the friendship broke up, because I felt like I'd seen
this girl's true colors at last... but I do regret that we had to use such harsh measures.
I still question whether or not we did the right thing, but I suppose if she'd ruined the
ceremony with her lunacy I'd have had bigger regrets.
The rest of the wedding went smoothly, beautifully, like a dream. My Maid of Honor was
an angel who was incredibly helpful, and managed the bridesmaid situation with dignity and
grace (even though the bridesmaid was bad mouthing her at the rehearsal dinner). Obviously
I made the right choice for MOH. I'm only sorry that we had this one big problem with the
bridesmaid. I have no idea what the moral of this story is, except make sure your
attendants are mentally stable! BMS0321-00
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