Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


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Looking for that perfect bridal shower gift? Every bride needs a commonsense guide to the etiquette that really matters.  Let Wedding Etiquette Hell:  A Bride's Bible for Avoiding Everlasting Damnation by Jeanne Hamilton be your guide.

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My daughter was engaged previously to a college classmate, deposits and arrangements were made, wedding gown and bridesmaids dresses purchased AND
she called it off two months before the scheduled date. Within four months she was again engaged to a former highschool classmate with whom she had remained close and had "cried on his shoulder". We paid for a HUGE wedding and reception. She was married to him for two years when her high school sweetheart (the REAL love of her life) appeared now divorced from his wife and you guessed it.....she left her husband and plans were made for a wedding immediately after the divorce was final. We refused to pay for another wedding SO because this guy had said to my daughter "I would really love to have a BIG wedding with you" SHE went into debt over 10K to give him a reasonably big wedding. They just celebrated theei second anniversary and in casual conversation she let slip to me that to this day he still tells everyone "we had a really small wedding"!!!!!!! What a guy!!  Bridezilla0105-02

My friend "Carrie" is getting married early next year. Her parents had said that they would pay for the entire wedding if she waiting until after she graduated from college (she's been there almost 7 years); but she decided to go ahead and get married anyway. Since her parents had laid this ultimatum (which I'm not sure is a faux pas or not) they said they would only pay for half of the wedding, and Carrie's mom said she would still pay for the dress. Carrie has always been pretty spoiled and is stubborn, and she was really upset that her folks wouldn't pay for the entire thing. She did lots of little things just to piss her parents off, but there were 2 main ones that really got to me. Her first step of revenge was to make sure her parent's were not invited to the engagement party that the groom's mother held. The other, (which I have yet to forgive her for) was when she was shopping for her dress, she blew her mom off even though the lady was calling her to find out when they could go dress shopping; Carrie took her MOH, and the mother of the MOH and got the mother of the MOH to help her buy the dress! My mom (who is Carrie's mom's best friend, told me that after she found out, Carrie's mom just cried for days) After that, Carrie's dad refused to pay for any of the wedding at all. Most people I've talked to, can't believe that this girl would burn her bridge like this. Even if you are having issues with mom that is classic mom/daughter time and you don't 1) lie to other people about your mom not buying you a dress, 2) you shouldn't ASK someone to buy it period and 3) your wedding is not about a time to get petty revenge on your folks.


My story of a wedding etiquette hell was the wedding of a close friend that I had known since we were 4 years old. My friend, we will call her Lyn, had been seeing her boyfriend, who we shall call Frank, on and off for about 6 years.

It all started one day when I was walking downtown and ran into Frank, Lyn and their 6-month-old son. Lyn was so happy I had to ask her why? Her reply was that her and Frank were getting married the next day. (They had made the decision less than a week before when her godparents offered to pay for their wedding). She then invited me to come with them to pick up her wedding shop. Well this is where it started to go downhill. We get to the store and Lyn starts to cry when she sees the dress. Lyn is a petite woman in height and size so she needed the dress hemmed (it was a summer dress that had a silk under dress and a see through over dress with flowers on it) Well the over dress part was at least 3 inches shorter than the silk under dress! Frank couldn’t understand why she was so upset so Lyn proceeded to scream at him in the middle of the store. I then told her that we were going to go and see my mom, who was a part time seamstress, and hopefully she would be able to do something to fix it before the ceremony the next day.

Lyn then told me it wasn’t worth it and she would wear the dress and have her wedding day ruined. I have known Lyn for many years and know not to argue with her when she is consumed with self-pity.

Then she told me that I *had* to go to the ceremony and that it was for 7pm the next day. I explained that I worked evenings and I couldn’t get the time off on such short notice. I then had Frank tell me that I was not a good friend and I was just as bad as his family (who were told earlier that day and would have had to drive for 2 days to get to where we lived)

Trying to be a good friend I offered to take care of their son the next day so they could spend their time dealing with all the last minute preparations for the wedding but I would have to leave at 4pm to get to work on time. They were both happy with me due to what I was offering.

The next morning I showed up at their home at 8am (they told me I didn’t have to be there till 9am but I thought I would go a bit early cause they were always awake by then). I arrived at their home to have them pass their son to me on their way out the door. I was left with no formula, no way to get a hold of them if something went wrong, and as they were driving off they told me "see ya at 6pm"

Well I was left with their son, no formula, no bottles and no way to go to the store to get some. Luckily I got a hold of Lyn's mother and she brought some.

Well at around 10 Lyn comes running into their home and tells me that she is going to get her hair done and can I lend her some money. I decided to (only to find out when Frank came home that her god parents were paying for her hair to get done) the rest of the afternoon was fairly enjoyable as I got to visit with Frank and pretty much sure that he had everything that was needed for the ceremony. At 2pm he told me he had to run out for a bit and I reminded him that I had to work that night so he had to come and watch their son by 4 that day. On the way out the door he said he would be back by 3:30 at the latest.

Well at 6:45 Lyn and Frank walk in the door drunk as skunks. I am livid now because I know I probably lost my job (they don’t have a phone so I couldn’t even phone my boss) and when I asked them why they were so late they told me that they had decided they wanted me at their wedding so they just didn’t come home so I would lose my job and hence be free for the ceremony. I was upset but I decided to talk to them about it on another day (I don’t have the heart to ruin anyone’s wedding).  It is highly unlikely that the absence of one person will be the ruination of a wedding regardless of how much a Bridezilla declares it to be so.

Well 7:30 we all get into the godparents compact car and off to the pastor's home we go. When we arrive we find the house packed with people. The pastor decided to invite the entire congregation (90% of which didn’t even know the bride or groom). Then the pastor pulls me aside and tells me I have to take the baby and stand outside as to not ruin the wedding (it was -5 outside by this point). I told him I would talk to Frank and Lyn about it and he told me that he already had and passes me the baby's jacket.

I then was forced to spend the whole ceremony holding a crying baby in freezing weather watching the proceedings through a window. Luckily enough though the ceremony was not more than 10 minutes long. Frank and Lyn also informed me that the Pastor had not talked to them about me and the baby standing outside and that they wanted their son to be part of the ceremony. I was told that they didn’t want to see me and I was to walk back to town (which was a 30-minute drive). As I was putting on my jacket Lyn came over and asked me "Where is my wedding gift?" I was so appalled over all of this I couldn’t even reply. This story to me is a perfect one for Weddings From Hell because that is what it was.  (I won’t even mention the antics from the baby shower)     bridezilla0121-02

My fiancé and I had gotten engaged in the fall of 2000 we had not set a specific date, but had told his family and mine that we were thinking about a spring 2001 wedding. Well, we found out over Christmas that his younger brother Chase* and girlfriend, *Nora* had gotten engaged. Their date was set for MAY 2001 Oh well.....We decided to wait until the following year, as my fiancé’s mother asked us to wait about 6 months after Chase and Nora's wedding to have ours.

The wedding date approaches. My fiancé is asked to be a groomsman for his brother. My future MIL in law calls me up one night to get my measurements. I was to be a bridesmaid, however, I had not been formally asked by Nora. I was more than a little annoyed at this assumption, but just figured she was too busy, and after all, she was going to be my sister in law. Shortly after, my cousin asks me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding which is on the same date as Chase and Nora's. I explained to her that I couldn't because I had already committed to being in this other wedding.

Well....weeks go by and I hear nothing from Nora, no instructions, NOTHING. Finally, one weekend my future MIL tells me that Nora wanted her to tell me that MY (and only mine) dress didn't come in, and would I please stand at the sign in book and just ask people to sign the book as they come to the ceremony. So I was demoted from bridesmaid to book overseer. My feelings were so hurt that I cried the entire weekend. Well, I got over that, and straightened things out with Nora. I even invited her to the coast with my family one weekend.

About 2 weeks prior to her wedding, Nora calls me and informs me that her MOH was no longer in the wedding and that she needed a fill in. Would I be interested, since the dress would probably fit me? I told her yes, as she sounded desperate, and I actually WANTED to help her out and plus it might even be fun. turned into a nightmare. First, she informs me as everyone is leaving the rehearsal dinner that I have to be at the beauty shop at 8 AM the next morning to have my hair put into a bun. I live over 2 hours away and this meant getting up at 5 and having to find a babysitter for my daughter. We were already having to drive back home, as there was no vacancy at the hotels in town. No one had bother to make any kind of arrangements for out of town guests, even though the groom’s brother lived over two hours away. WE did the best we could and still got there late. But I got my hair up and had my dress on hours before the pictures.

Right before the pictures, Nora demanded that everyone remove their jewelry. I was the only one who had a problem with this, because my fiancé had given me a small necklace with a heart shaped pendant on it and asked me not to take it off until we were married. I explained this to her and offered to turn it around backwards so that it wouldn’t show but noooooo.....This was not good enough and she started screaming at me that I was ruining her wedding. Her mother told me that if I didn't take that necklace off I wouldn't be in the wedding. I politely refused and said if she would rather me not be in the wedding that was fine. After much fuss, and some really dirty looks from the MOB and her sisters, I was reluctantly allowed to be in the wedding. My future MIL actually came to my rescue, which kind of surprised me. Everything is fine now, and we never discuss that day. I am currently planning my own wedding and I am making a point to be considerate of other peoples feelings and I will not wait until the last moment to make demands of my bridesmaids. Needless to say, NORA will not be asked to participate in my wedding.     Bridezilla0129-02


I 'm not sure where this story falls in your tacky wedding etiquette page but it involves the bachelor party.

This happened to my fiancé last year. A friend of his was getting married to this girl who seemed to have a lot of "problems". She was insecure, jealous, etc. You get the picture. Previous to this they had been engaged and broke it off several times.

Anyway, fast forward to the bachelor party. The guys involved in the bachelor party decided that they would have it at a seaside resort for a weekend. They asked the groom to be if it was ok and they made sure that he was available on said weekend. He agreed.

Later that week, he calls the Best Man and tells him that he would be there but not until evening. (They had planned on driving there during the day) and to go ahead without him. He said that he had to "work", even though he knew about it for three weeks.

So the day comes and the guys load up their cards w/beer and he head down to the resort. 6pm comes, 7pm comes. There's no groom. And there's no word from him either. So the best man calls him to find out when he would be there and the groom says that he is not coming!

He came up with some lame excuse that he "didn't feel well".  Yeah right. We all know that the bride to be was behind it.    Bridezilla0201-02

I work at a dry cleaners and we handle many wedding gowns before and after the ceremony.

One day, a man came in with a large order of clothing for his wife. There were many dresses, suits, etc.

What we didn't know was that the ivory two-piece dress was in fact her wedding dress. It was very simple with rather inexpensive pearl-like plastic buttons on the top. Really, there was no way we could have known since he did not say.

We cleaned and pressed everything with no problem. So we thought. He brought her dress her back a few days later to point out that a button had come off. We were quite embarrassed and we took the top back to replace the button at our own expense since it was our mistake. I warned him that the button would not be an exact match but it would be a VERY close approximation. He seemed to be fine with that and simply requested that we return the garment at the end of the week.

We replaced the button and bagged the garment. We then waited two weeks for the groom to show.

When he did, I had him look the garment over to ensure it was to his satisfaction. He was very pleased and thanked us for repairing the problem. About an hour later, he returned with his wife. She appeared very angry and he looked rather chagrined and embarrassed to be there.

She stormed into the store and began to scream at me that we have ruined her dress. I was shocked at her anger but I understood since it was her wedding dress. Mind you, I was still under the impression that the wedding was coming up soon. I asked her what the problem was and she got angrier and threw the top at me. She screamed that we had completely ruined her dress, she had to cancel her wedding photo session indefinitely and if we could not fix this, we should reimburse her the cost of the dress.

I still was unsure what the problem was, so I looked to her husband for help since he was still calm. He began to tell me that it was the button when his wife screamed at him to shut up. She snatched the top out of my hands, ripped the plastic from it and practically shoved it in my face. She screamed that the bottom button that we replaced was smaller than all of the others and thus, the dress ruined.

I gently took the top from her and looked. And looked again. The button WAS smaller but not by much. One would have to look VERY closely to tell. (The photographer would have had to zoom in on her abdomen to tell in the portrait!) I apologized for the fact that it was smaller but reiterated what I had told her husband. Before she could start screaming again, I offered to have the seamstress find another button and sew that on. She seemed okay but began freaking out again. Then I offered to have her come by to approve a selection of buttons so she could be certain that it would meet her satisfaction.

She was somewhat calmer and decided against approving a button. However, she learns over the counter and jabs her finger in my face and says that we better not mess up her gown again or she will sue us for the photographer's fee as well as the cost of the dress. Then she spun around and left.

We replaced the button a second time and called them to inform them that it was ready.

I was really apprehensive about them coming in and prayed the button would be up to her standards.

She was a completely different person this time. She was friendly and polite. She was thrilled with the button and stated that we did a beautiful job, we're a great cleaners, and so on. I was just stunned!

I apologized once more for the problem and told her that I hoped she'd have a lovely ceremony as well as beautiful pictures. She then told me that she had the wedding six months before and it was her parents that had begged them to sit for the photos. She laughed and told me that she never wanted pictures of her wedding and was planning on going to Wal-Mart to have them done.    Gratefully, they have never been back!     Bridezilla0212-02

A friend's younger brother was getting married. We had all grown up together. I was invited by phone a few weeks before the wedding. The bride's family gave her a shower (we heard) but didn't invite anyone on the groom's side. In the cute, TINY church, the bride's train stayed at the entrance as she walked past 5 small pews on each side to reach the little altar. The reception was in the church hall, which was in the basement. We had potato salad, cole slaw, macaroni salad, wedding cake and (I saw it being made) warm Kool-Aide. The bride's mother wore a stained screen-printed top over greenish-yellow plaid pants. I didn't stay very long. The groom's tiny 'side' met up at his mother's for a cookout. The bride was furious when she heard about that since her family's 'reception' was THE reception and no other party was necessary. She made the mistake of saying so to her new mother-in-law who promptly ripped her a new one. My friend's Mom had been horribly embarrassed. She had offered to host a reception ('I could have taken out a small loan.") or to 'join wallets' and had been rebuffed with remarks about 'tradition'. The groom was also embarrassed and started his marriage with his Mom and wife on feuding terms.    Bridezilla0214-02

The bride and I had been friends for a long time, so I was one of the bridesmaids. At first, I was extremely honored, because some other close friends of hers didn't make the cut.

However, I immediately became flabbergasted at her behavior. We were asked to have a tan - without tan lines - because it would be a summer wedding and she didn't want anyone to look bad in our spaghetti strap dresses. Unfortunately, one of the other maids is a lifeguard and swimming instructor. Even though she wears a high SPF at work, she can't help but get lines because she is exposed to the sun for long hours. And I am in summer school and don't have time to sit outdoors sunning myself - I am cooped up in a classroom all day. Even if I wasn't, I wouldn't get skin cancer to look cute in a bridesmaid’s dress. I will be self-tanning and using bronzing powder to appease her but I was a little upset she couldn't be satisfied with our natural skin tone - nobody in the bridal party is THAT pale!

Two weeks later we were told she had scheduled up-do appointments for us, and then a month later we were told everyone needed to have a French manicure. I really don't mind doing all those things, especially the nails because I get mine done in that style regularly, but the disorganization and seemingly endless flow of expectations bothered me.

Then, I found out the bride is having not one, not two, not three, but FOUR showers. My understanding of bridal etiquette is that it is in bad taste to have more than two. She has always been a little pampered, but I thought four was excessive. I had mentioned the situation to a friend at school, and she knew of a girl that had SIX showers! I realize sometimes people host surprise showers and the bride doesn't have control over how many she ends up having, but in this case the bride was well aware and you can be the judge of whether she should have consolidated the four or not.

Her parents are divorced, so it might seem understandable that she is having more than the normal amount, but the shower for her dad's side of the family is being hosted AT HER MOTHER'S HOUSE! A third shower was for her friends at school, and the last one was for the bridal party only, which is ridiculous because her college is not THAT far away from our hometown or our respective colleges, and the people at both parties are mostly students and all around the same age, so it wouldn't have been a generational issue. I was invited to three of the four showers. I am only attending the one for the bridal party.

Two weeks before the shower, the MOH contacted all the bridesmaids and told us we each had to run a game, bring the proper supplies, and prizes. I thought this was incredibly tacky. Don't volunteer to be the hostess if you are going to pawn all the planning off on the guests! Then again, maybe since this is the FOURTH shower she is tired. :)

What should have been a happy experience is turning into a constant source of stress. On the bright side, I definitely learned what NOT to do when I am coordinating my wedding! :) I will be organized and make all my demands up front, not a new one each week.  Why make any "demands" of your attendants at all?    Bridezilla0601-02

Two months before our wedding and things were "down to the wire." I (the bride to be) was still awaiting a bridal shower, or maybe I thought it would be a surprise, that is why I hadn't heard of anything yet. Nobody asked me for names and addresses, or anything for that matter. I was getting antsy and finally asked my mother if she knew if my great friends a.k.a bridesmaids were planning anything. No. My mother decided to then take it upon herself to plan my bridal shower.  I wrote a fictional story just like this several years ago.  Life now imitates art.

When she asked my Matron-of-Honor how she planned to participate she suggested that she would bring chips and dip. My Matron-of-Honor thought this would suffice for 30 guests for my shower. About 20 days before our wedding, we had the shower. Stepping back a few months, around October, the bridesmaids dresses were in and ready to be picked up and taken to a seamstress, whom I had previously set up and all the bridesmaids had to do was take the dresses. Jumping ahead to the bridal shower in April, 20 days before our wedding, they decided to get them altered AT THE SHOWER! They had the dresses altered and I thought the worst was over. Two of my bridesmaids, the Matron-of-Honor included, were late to rehearsal and tried on their dresses to see if the alterations were ok. They were not. They had them altered again and had to try them on the wedding day. Fine.

The wedding day gets here and I wake up and ask my mother if she would go to town, buy doughnuts, and take them to the beauty salon where all the girls were getting their hair done. My mother says, "Ugh... I was going to relax today...why don't you go do it?" Hello?!? She went anyway.   And we are left to wonder what torture was inflicted to get Mom to do this....

When I got to the salon, two bridesmaids were there, two were not. Once the other two arrived they had to have their hair done BEFORE mine (the bride) because they were hungry and wanted to go back to my house and eat before the wedding. I was the last one to get my hair done and that was finished at 2:10. The wedding started at 3:00. I called my mom on the cell to see if anyone had brought my suitcase and make-up bag to town for me because I was running late and we lived 20 minutes out of town. To my "surprise" no one had thought to grab MY things. What?   The vile slaves  have forgotten your clothing and toiletries? So I drove 80mph home and back to get to the church with all of my things at 2:45. I walked past all of my guests as they watched me bolt to the dressing room in the church.

When I walked in the door, nobody said hello to me, in fact, the only thing that was said to me was from my mother and that was, "You're late." (Ya think?) Because my bridesmaids had to eat I was 15 minutes late for my wedding, and that was pushing it.   What selfish bridesmaids!  How dare they not starve for your perfect wedding! 

I had gotten ready so fast I did not have time to enjoy the things a bride should enjoy while she is getting ready to be married. I finally, as I was getting ready to walk out the door with my father to take me down the aisle, burst into tears and could not stop. I was so hurt, rushed, and worried that I could not stop crying. After about 10 minutes of crying because I was late (which I made a secret promise to myself to not be late because my fiancé was always on my case for being late and I wanted to be on time for once, that day) I finally walked out the dressing room and down the aisle to marry my husband.    Bridezilla0627-02  Don't blame your bridesmaids for your stress...chalk it up to you wanting those fancy hairdos for your bridesmaids.

A few years ago a friend of mine from college was planning her wedding, she had chosen to have five attendants 2 of her cousins and 3 of her other friends from college, I was a little hurt that she hadn't chose me(since I had known her longer and my fiancée and I spent almost every weekend with her and the groom to be ) but hey it was her wedding day so I got over it.

Six months before the big day one of our friends backed out, not really giving a reason and I assumed I would be the one to step in, not so, she instead chose a friend she had in high school that I had never met, once again I accepted this since it was her big day. Well, this particular friend backed out approximately four months before the wedding, and I thought surely she will pick me, but alas I was once again passed over for a friend she had made at her new job that she had only started the previous month This really hurt me but I said okay and got over it again.

Now came time for the showers of which she had four, I went to each and every one, gift in tow, I helped with the decorations on two of these and upon request at one of the showers left in the middle to buy more refreshments out of my own pocket.

About a month before the wedding I threw the bride to be a "bachelorette" shower at my home, she invited 12 people not including me and herself, I sent out invitations, spent a week cleaning my home from top to bottom, I borrowed extra blankets and pillows from my mother so that all the guests could sleep over (no drunk drivers), I went and bought two air mattresses, I had a buffet of food including a special ordered cake, and enough liquor and beer for two times as many people as would attend. Once all the guests arrived they stayed a grand total of 45 minutes before deciding they all wanted to go to the bar, I figure what the hell, and go along I make sure to bring enough $$ with me so the bride to be does not have to purchase her own drinks, we then spent the next FIVE hours at the bar I stay sober so that I can drive everyone back to my home (we all crammed in my bronco to get there) upon return to my home, all of the girls leave (except the bride she actually stayed) the food goes untouched, that cake uncut, and all but one bottle of liquor unopened no one drank any beer at all.

Fast forward to the next morning the bride gets ready to leave and wants to know if she can have all of the beer and liquor I had bought for the wedding reception!!! I agree I mean she is my friend right??? And I thought I was helping her. I attend the wedding and it was beautiful and the reception (with gift from registry) and I notice that there is no alcohol served at the reception the entire evening, I later found out that the bride took the liquor and beer from the party I had and had a bachelorette party for herself which I wasn't invited to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say I no longer speak to her!   Bridezilla0321-02

I met my husband through a friend of mine who he used to date. They remained roommates and good friends after they broke up. It was a few years after they broke up that she set us up on a date. Mind you, she was living with someone else at the time so I wasn't "stealing her man", or so I thought. We hit it off wonderfully and our one set up date turned into a full blown romance. Well, this set off my friend and she then proceeded to try and break us up by telling me horrible things about him, which I just didn't believe.

Meanwhile my friend started to date a new person, after my husband and her no longer were roommates. My husband would never believe that she was saying anything bad about him and was still talking about having her in our wedding party as his groomsman, something they had talked about in the past since they remained so close. I grit my teeth and nodded, knowing that there was no way this was going to happen. The day after we were engaged, this girl called me. I knew that my husband and told her because he let me know. I was expecting congratulations, but instead she started talking about her new boyfriend and how wonderful he was and how rich he was going to be. Not one word of acknowledgement about my engagement. Finally, I said, he we got engaged yesterday, "Yes, I know I was told, that's great". Still, my husband didn't want to admit that she might have a problem with us being together.

We got together a few times with this couple, and as I set my date talked to her about wedding plans. Each time I would mention something she would find a way to turn it back to her new beau and how well hung he was, how rich he was going to be. It was no surprise when they became engaged. What surprised me was she had to be married right away, within a few months. My wedding planning was taking over a year. We were paying for our wedding all ourselves and we wanted to be able to save for just what we wanted. Well, my friend didn't ask me to be in her wedding, no big deal. Except after two other people bowed out as her MOH she called and told me about it and then asked, hey will you do it. Fool that I am I said, uh ok, but I can't afford a big dress, remember she knew we were saving for my wedding. I was assured it was no problem.

But of course, it turned into a big problem for me. I ended up buying one of those long, satiny MOH dresses, with dyed matching shoes because "My mother insists that I have this type of dress, she won't hear of anything else, I'm sorry I know it is expensive, please or my mom will be so upset" I came to find out of course that her mother didn't make any recommendations about the dress. Meanwhile this friend came over to my house to talk about wedding plans and proceeded to wonder if she should invite MY future in-laws to her wedding since "you know, they love me so much and were crushed when I broke up with him" . This couldn't have been farther from the truth since they had both told me how wrong she and their son were for each other and how happy they were that I came into his life. I found a way to tell her that it wasn't the best idea and luckily she left it. But it wasn't the last time I would hear how much my husband's parents really wanted her as their DIL.

Come the wedding, it went well, I helped set up, and still in my gown helped to clean up the entire hall with my husband, and the brother of the bride. It entailed loading up huge rented tables onto his truck and putting away all the chairs. When my friend came back from her honeymoon she called. I thought she was going to thank me for helping, especially for staying to clean up and make sure the room was back to the way it was before. No, she called to start yelling at me how no one would help her and her day was ruined and a table was broken because it fell out of the truck and how she couldn't count on anyone to help her. Needless to say that was the last time I talked to her. My husband finally figured out that she wasn't very nice and probably wasn't a friend of either of us. Our wedding went off as planned, without her in attendance, thank goodness.


Around 13 years ago, a childhood friend of mine announced her plans to marry. "Tina" and "Kyle" had met while in the Army, lived together for a few months, and decided that the wedding would be on Valentine's day, a Tuesday, in not just another town, but another state (we are in South Carolina, she wanted the wedding to be in the tiny town in Georgia that her family had come from--mind you, her family didn't still live in that town, and she knew virtually no one there, but that's where it just had to be.). The bride and groom were stationed in Virginia at the time.

Tina asked me to be in her wedding, along with another girl we had grown up with-"Janie." I had reservations about taking on the commitment, because I was in the midst of planning my own wedding, which was to take place just a few weeks after hers. She assured me that it would be no problem, that her wedding would be small and would require little planning (should've seen that as a red flag!!) and that the other attendant, Janie, would be available to help out.

Ok, the day is drawing nearer, and I find that virtually nothing, beyond reserving the church and mailing out invitations has been done. The bride has her dress, and that's about it. Because of conflicting job schedules, as well as the bride traveling to town infrequently, Janie, Tina and I have difficulty connecting to shop for bridesmaids dresses. The bride assures us not to'll all work out. She won't hear of Janie and me going out on our own, and picking out dresses that we both like, and then later submitting them for her approval. Nope, we have to be together for all of it.

Finally, a couple of days before the wedding, the Bride decides it is time. So, the three of us head for the mall. The dress she picked was unbelievable----I just wish I still had it so I could send you a picture---it was a HIDEOUS office dress! Nothing at all special, fancy, formal about it. Machine washable. Dark, almost navy, blue, with big, white, square neck...things..that draped down across our chests and made us look like pilgrims. At least I only had to spend around $30. I'd expected to pay much more for something much nicer, as had Janie. But, again, she was the bride, we wanted to keep her happy, so we acquiesced. And that, quite literally, was the extent of the involvement Janie and I had with planning the wedding. The bride just took care of everything else on her own.

There was no rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. We were expected to show up at the church on the day of the wedding, and they would just tell us what to do then. From the time Tina told me that she was getting married up until the wedding itself, I had warned Tina that my own wedding was coming up soon and I couldn't take days off work to spend in Georgia with her. No problem, she said. Just be to the church on time.

She planned her wedding for mid afternoon, which meant I had to work 1/2 a day, leave at around 11 and make the 3 hour drive with my dad so we'd be there in time for the 3:00 wedding. We find the church, and no one is there. It's locked. This was before cell phones, so there was no way to reach anyone! We wait around a while, and finally the other bridesmaid shows up, then the minister, and finally the rest of the wedding party. We now have about 30 minutes to get ready for the ceremony (remember, there was no rehearsal, Janie and I had never seen the inside of this church, etc., so we both are feeling quite lost). We very hurriedly get dressed, and enter the church so the minister can give us instructions, which basically were to walk up the aisle, and stand on index cards with our names on them, which had been placed on the floor. The bride gives us our bouquets, which consist of tiny red, white and blue pillows attached to some sort of fake flower stems. She was very proud, she'd made them herself (they were pretty hideous, but again, we said nothing. It was after all her wedding, and things should be her way).

So, we go back to the dressing area and wait for the show to begin. This is when we are informed that the groom forgot to bring the marriage license with him, and the minister won't perform the ceremony and just let someone bring it to him later in the afternoon. So, someone gets the brilliant idea that the groom and his father, neither of whom is familiar with this town, should go back to the hotel together to pick it up. Need I even say what happened next? Of course, they got hopelessly lost!! Again, cell phones weren't really around back then, so there was no phone call to the church to tell us what was going on. The bride started getting upset, wondering if she'd been left at the altar. My carefully styled hair, which never holds a curl, fell. Janie, a hairdresser, occupied herself trying to make me presentable again. The guests are getting restless and grumbling, many making comments about just leaving and going home. Finally, well over an HOUR later, they show back up at the church. Finally, the three o'clock ceremony starts at around 4:30, 4:45 PM.

We finally get through it, they are married and we are all relieved and ready for the reception. I was getting worried about the time, because Dad and I still had to make the 3 hour drive back home so we can go to work the next day. But, I still wanted to stick around for part of the reception, anyway, which was being held in the church basement.

Again, we wait while the photographer (an amateur, some relative who offered to do to save them money) takes all of his pictures of the wedding party. This takes wayyyy too long, thanks to his lack of experience taking professional quality photos. The guests are all waiting in the basement, hungry and getting grumpier at the inordinate delay. It's almost seven PM before the reception gets started! Because of my time constraints, I had to leave almost immediately after the photographer finished with us. It was just as well, anyway. When I went down to the basement to peek in on the reception before I left, I found that there were no chairs, no music, no food (except for the wedding cake) and it was crowded---the room was much too small for this group. By the time it was all said and done, I was more than happy to leave!

The kicker was that a few weeks later, when Tina came to town for my wedding, she confided to me that she didn't really love Kyle, but she was 25 and wanted kids, and got along with him well enough, so she decided to marry him. They are still married, but it's a horrible mess. They openly hate each other, but are staying together for the sakes of their two sons (turns out she was pregnant when they got married, but didn't find out until about two weeks later). He turned out to be a useless bum who is unemployed more than he is employed (they both left the Army shortly after they married), insists the kids be put in day care even when he's home because he "can't handle them," and has cheated on her (which she fully knows--she's the one who caught him). Now he is being investigated, because police believe he's been downloading child pornography from the internet. But, nope, she won't leave him. Why? In her words, "I know he's a bad person, a bad husband and a bad parent, but it's just hard to break up a family." I finally had to end my friendship with her because she complained non-stop about how horrible her life is, but flatly refused to do anything to change it (and she had ample opportunities, since her mother married a millionaire several years ago, who was willing to pay for everything--housing, child care, lawyers fees and for Tina to go back to school to train for a better job.).


About a year ago the friend whom I considered my surrogate sister announced her engagement to the young man whom she had been secretly living with behind her parents back. Less than six months later her parents, never ones for formality, told her that it would best suit them if she got married within the next few weeks. Her parents wanted her to elope, however the groom's parents who interjected and said that they would like a ceremony, however small, so that they may attend the marriage of their only child.

Before I continue I should mention that the couple had originally intended to hold the wedding two years after the initial engagement. The bride decided that the wedding would be the two weeks from the following Monday. The grooms father, who’d been the first to insist on attending the wedding, and his sister offered to pay for the ceremony itself as it would probably cost no more than $2000. The bride continued to pester her future Father and aunt in law changing the wedding arrangements on a basis that varied between daily and hourly. The two proposed benefactors were beginning to tire of this indecisiveness. The chapel would not be available until several days after the date that the bride had decided the wedding should take place on. The wedding was held back exactly one month.

During all of this time the bride had been complaining to the groom's mother and stepfather. Saying that the groom's father and aunt were trying to control the wedding make it their own. Finally the groom's stepfather paid them a visit at the apartment they shared. He stated that he and the groom’s mother would pay for the ceremony if it were to take place at a little chapel in town. The couple and I went to look at the chapel and they decided have the ceremony there. During this whole time the bride's parents had not only been pressuring them to elope while everyone thought that they were going to hold a ceremony but they were the ones telling her that the groom's family was taking advantage of her.

Over the next two weeks the groom's mother and step father paid for the wedding dress, the ceremony, the cake, the garters, most of the reception, the photographer, and planned to provide an after party to follow the reception. In addition to this they were giving the couple a rental property that was currently vacant for no charge. Three days before the wedding the bride approached her future mother and step father in law informing them that they had made the ceremony their own and that if they were doing this to her now they would do it to her once they were married and she would not stand to be treated that way. Afterward that night I attended dinner at the couple’s apartment where she recounted her story to me for the hundredth time since her parents told her she needed to elope. When she excused herself to the powder room, I asked the groom of his take of the situation. He stated that he didn’t care what she did. That his parents would get over it.

The night before the wedding the bride informed her parents of the arrangements for the next day. Her father became angered because of her "letting people manipulate her" and spouted off hateful things and told her that her life was a mistake and that he wanted nothing to do with his spineless daughter.

Finally the day of the ceremony arrived. I was the only friend of the couple invited because the bride stated that while she was inviting me, who she considered her best friend that his best friend would best be not invited because she was too "Trashy" I am male and that fact never bothered him, however his best friend being female had just been the cause of an argument several weeks before.

The groom took no best man, though the bride took her sister as maid of honor. Her father refused to attend his "weak" daughters wedding and her brother handed her off. Immediately after the vows she once again began complaining about everything going on. She complained about the photographer for weeks and still complains when she looks at her wedding album.

At the reception her complaints were largely about the cake, made specifically to her specifications the three-tier monstrosity consisted of one tier chocolate with chocolate icing, one tier yellow with white icing and the top tier marble with chocolate icing and white decoration. Suddenly this cake not satisfactory and the fact that she did not do all of the cutting sent her into fits of rage.

After the reception we adjourned to the groom's mother's home where the bride quickly became bored.

Three days later when discussing the ceremony the bride said to me about her new mother and stepfather in law. " You know they never even gave me a wedding present."

After a petty argument started by the bride three months later I decided that perhaps she was better off as someone I’d known than as someone I know.     Bridezilla0715-02

"Audrey" misunderstood the meaning of the term "save the date" cards, interpreting them as second-person plural imperative case. As in, she believed that everyone who received a save-the-date card is required to accept the invitation. When we received ours, we mentioned how happy we were for them, but that we couldn't afford to go to their destination wedding. Audrey was appalled that we didn't understand that she wasn't inviting us. She meant, "You will save the date on your calendar for me."

She then approached her parents and demanded that they pay for our airfare and the all-inclusive resort. Normally, if someone offered to pay for us to have an all-expenses paid vacation, we would have been thrilled. However, this was not her motivation. She was infuriated that anyone might try to bow out of her "court" for the weekend. She had been planning on her Queen-for-a-week (not day, week) fantasy for so many years, that she wasn't about to let anyone out. It wasn't that we are such close friends with her either; we see her maybe twice a year. My husband insisted that we accept her invitation, because the groom had been his best friend in high school. Turns out, most of the guests at the wedding only see her rarely, too. Her "court" consisted of a few old school friends (including my husband,) some of whom she hadn't seen in years, and a few relatives.

Of course, she pouted the whole week, because the most expensive resort on the island "just sucks." She called all her relatives @%%*^#es, repeatedly, that's right - the ones who paid for the wedding. Apparently, they weren't deferential enough to Her Week. She rolled her eyes during the ceremony when the minister mispronounced her name (he spoke broken English; it's HIS country she went chose) and made the facial expression usually accompanying the word "Whatever!" (raised eyebrows, tensed lips, tilted chin) during the religious ceremony. She hadn't bothered to find out the state religion or language of the beautiful, tropical island paradise where the resort was located; she'd just ordered the "wedding package" from the resort. She had told everyone that it was a quickie JP ceremony, "without all that religious crap." In fact, she made it a point to state that repeatedly in front of my husband and me, who had a long, religious wedding.

She was happy about her gifts, though. She had registered at only the luxury department stores, with the lowest priced item at $100 US. For her thirty guests, she had registered at three stores, with multiple pages on each registry. This was in addition to the house and the business that her parents gave her as a wedding present. The best part of the whole experience goes to her mother-in-law. As she was walking down the aisle, she announced to all the guests, that they were finally going to be legal after living together for ten years. Surprise! Her conservative family didn't know that, and wouldn't have agreed to a wedding if they had.


A friend of a friend is getting married in a few months. The friend is a bridesmaid in this fiasco.

First of all, her fiancé is in the wedding party also along with his ex fiancé and her old boss who is a complete b****. . The bride wanted my fi to walk down the aisle with his ex fiancé because my friend wasn't important enough in the friendship line to walk down with him. Yes, she actually told my friend that. He told her that he really did not want to walk down with her, and she said "Oh well, it's my day deal with it."

Then she is very adamant about not having kids at the wedding!! In her invitation, she had on her reply card "adult reception only" and on the inside envelope she included the names of people who are invited. People understand what that means. She also included a little typed-written note in her invitation that said:

"Due to lack of seating in the church and reception we ask that only the preferred people on the invitation come to the wedding. This is a formal affair and a tie is required and no children please."

Not only that, she is pretyping her guest book with people that RSVP. When you come into the church, you have to "check in" if you are not on the list or improperly dressed you will be asked to leave.

In addition, the boss wants the bridal party to shell out money for a $600.00/night hotel room that they won't even be able to enjoy b/c the reception is ending so late..


During my junior year of college, my roommate --- a year younger, and dating a man two years older than she was --- got engaged over the Christmas holidays. They decided on a one-year engagement, setting the date of the wedding for a few days after Christmas the following year. I was very excited for her, and thrilled to agree when she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids.

Beginning in the fall semester of my senior year, I shared an apartment with three other ladies --- my engaged roommate, and two women that we both knew casually. The next four months were a nightmare. My friend (I'll call her Leigh) was planning her wedding long-distance, since our college was about 1500 miles from her home. This made for many long hours on the telephone with her mother and fiancé (I'll call him Ken) ... and even more hours fuming and slamming doors in our apartment, because someone else dared to use the telephone, while Leigh thought that Ken or her mother might be trying to reach her.

Leigh was determined to wear her mother's wedding dress. While she was by no means overweight, the dress was several sizes too small for her. Consequently, she began (literally) starving herself immediately after we returned to school in the fall. She went well beyond "fashionably thin" --- and that would have been her own business, if she hadn't been so obviously resentful of anyone who was putting a morsel of food in their mouth! When I would sit down to eat dinner, she would glare at me and admonish me that I'd better watch what I was eating "because that bridesmaid's dress had better fit for the wedding!" It wouldn't matter whether I was eating a few carrot sticks or a plate of mashed potatoes, I would still ... always ... get "the lecture," as my other roommates and I began to call it.

The ultimate goal of her wedding was this: to spend as little of her own money as possible, while producing a wedding that appeared extravagant. Toward that end, she was not shy about spending anyone else's money. First, she decided that the bridesmaid's dresses had to be custom made by a seamstress in the city where she lived. This meant that I would have to be measured for my dress several months before the wedding while at college, and have the measurements sent to the seamstress. Because I lived almost 1000 miles from the location of the wedding, there would be no chance to have a fitting before I had to wear the dress! In the end, the dress cost probably twice what it would have been, had we ordered it from a bridal shop --- and wasn't extraordinary by any means. The $50 dyed-to-match shoes, which she also had "picked out" and purchased from 1500 miles away, had such pointed toes that they should probably have been ordered a full size larger than normal. I wore them, perched excruciatingly on a step that was less than a foot wide. I could barely walk back down the aisle at the end of the ceremony, and my feet hurt so badly that I ended up shoeless for the reception.

Leigh came from a family of very limited means, but her mother (through her work) had contact with many people who were quite well off financially. Because Ken would be receiving a sizeable inheritance after they married, Leigh decided that she would register for only the most expensive and extravagant gifts ... reasoning, I suppose, that they would have no trouble affording "the basics" themselves. The cost of her china, crystal and silver patterns was obscene. As the wedding approached, Leigh had a standing appointment to speak to her mother every Saturday morning. Her mother would stop after work on Friday and print out copies of Leigh's registry, and they would spend the morning discussing how many place settings and goblets had been purchased for her. If she wanted a particular item that hadn't been purchased yet, she would direct her mother to be sure to specifically mention it to anyone who asked about her registry.

By the time the big event arrived, I could barely stand the sight of my "friend" and never wanted to hear another word about her wedding plans. During my Christmas break from college, my mother and I traveled almost 1000 miles so that I could be in the wedding. The reception was a very simple one, held in the church. The food was prepared by friends and family. The bride and groom left early, because they planned to get up early the next morning and open gifts before they left for their honeymoon.

Because of the expense of the participating in the wedding --- including the dress and shoes, travel expenses, four nights in a hotel, etc. --- my parents and I bought her a modest gift from all of us. Apparently, Leigh was quite put out that we hadn't spent more on her present. I did receive a very perfunctory thank-you note some time later. I don't remember exactly what the note said, but it was obvious that she had complete contempt for our piddling gift.

When I married later that same year, Leigh and Ken did not attend the wedding (although they were invited), nor did they send a gift. My experience with watching her become such a greedy, obsessed bride had a very serious impact on the way that I chose to handle my own wedding. Although I am the only daughter in my family, and my parents could have afforded more, my mother still brags about how little we spent.

After several years, we began exchanging Christmas cards, birth announcements, etc. but we have never seen one another or spoken again. To the best of my knowledge, Leigh and Ken are happily married ... and I hope they have gotten good use from all of those outrageously expensive gifts!  Bridezilla0830-02

My fiancée’s younger daughter (age 30) was getting married. She lives in our home town with her boyfriend of 3 years. She announced to us that her Mother told her it was her Dad's responsibility to pay for the wedding. (We had given her a budget amount, and she didn't like it.) We weren't allowed any decision or approval authority, although apparently the groom's mother made a lot of the decisions. The bride's mother offered the couple 2 $1,500 travel vouchers (from when she was bumped on a flight) to help defray their honeymoon expenses. Three months before the wedding, they told her that they had decided to go to a location not covered by that airline, so she needed to give them $3,000 in cash.

The bride's sister (age 35) lives in the same town as the Mother (about 9 hours drive from us) and was going to be the Maid of honor. Bride flew up two weeks before the wedding for "pampering--- facial ,massage, trousseau shopping, etc- and informed the sister that she could not stay in the bride's house for the wedding because "she creates too much conflict." No problem, sister stayed with us. Wasn't invited to the bachelorette party "we didn't think you would be interested", and was screamed at by the bride, (in front of witnesses) and then denied she had not invited her sister. This continued up to and including the sister dragging the bride out of the groom's hotel room, where the B, G and several attendants were getting stoned.

The bride refused to have a father-daughter dance because the MOG didn't want to dance in public with her son (but danced with the grandsons) and barely spoke to her sister and father.

Oh... the wedding coordinator, married to the BM was politely referred to as the "Wedding Nazi" wore a peach dress with black underwear (she weighs about 300 pounds) and had a corsage... something that the step-mother didn't have. After the wedding she assigned everyone "cleaning duties" such as vacuuming the chapel, emptying the wastebaskets, etc (even though the bride's father had volunteered to pay for a cleaning service.)

And when the father attempted to discuss this with his daughter three months later, she just screamed "I'm so tired of people saying I was rude to my sister. I wasn't!" A definite bride from hell...   Bridezilla0907-02

My long time companion and I have been living together, but not married (he has full VA coverage for a serious medical condition that he would lose if he were to marry someone with income, his disability is classified as non-service related) for over 20 years, at the time of his son's wedding it had been 18 years. He had been divorced from his ex-wife for 20.

His son's fiancée was the ingratiating herself type, which was obvious to me, to all the groom's friends, to nearly everyone but the groom and his mother. Planning her wedding she convinced the groom that it would be inconsiderate to have his brother's fiancée (a wonderful girl who was the high school sweetheart and dearly loved by all of us) in the wedding, since she might then feel obligated to return the favor at her wedding. Her future SIL is not only a fantastic person, she is also stunningly beautiful, and most of us knew the real reason was that the bride could not possibly come close to looking as gorgeous as the second girl is naturally.

My s/o's son also has a cousin who grew up across the street from him, and is as close as a brother to him - everyone fully expected him to be a part of that wedding. Wrong. The excuse she gave the groom was that his extended family was too large, and that having this one cousin included would offend others. Privately she told me it was because he had long hair, and she did not want that in the wedding pictures she would treasure all her life. Omitting him offended the extended family far more than including him ever could have, but everyone kept quiet for the groom's sake. After her campaigning to exclude these two people from her wedding party she had no choice but to give in on the groom's closest friend, though she worried constantly that he would look "rumpled" in the pictures, and wished there were some way to keep him out of them.

The bridesmaid's dresses were, of course, hideous, and a ghastly color. The MOG, MOB and I were given paint chips of colors we would be "allowed" to wear so that there would be no clashing in the pictures.

Planning the rehearsal dinner the MOG brought up these issues with me, and told me that she was very upset with the exclusion of two very important people in the family, and how she felt that she was being treated like a child over the color selection deal, and I agreed. Throughout my entire relationship with this man she had been married to and had children with we had never had a problem with getting along, and I was glad that at least was not going to be the hassle it is for some divorced parents with subsequent spouses of serious partners.

Wrong again.

At the wedding rehearsal the MOG states that she would feel foolish walking back down the aisle after the ceremony alone, and would not attend the wedding if her ex, my current, did not leave me behind and escort her. My S/O other refused to go along with this, but this one did turn out well, since her nephew (the excluded cousin) was enlisted to sit in the second pew, step out and take her arm at ceremony's end and escort her out of the church.

Comes the reception....groom's then 2 year old nephew was pointedly uninvited, bride thought he was too young and did not want the reception disrupted (this boy was the only grandchild on our side at the time, groom very close to him)...but her two nieces, one 6 months older, the other 6 months younger tore the place up unsupervised.

The bouquet toss....I do not consider myself a single woman, my S/O does not consider me a single woman, his children do not consider me a single woman...his ex-wife's family, for that matter, considers me his wife. Bride had treated me as a future MIL right up until that ring went on her finger. Time to toss the bouquet I obviously remain seated, given my coupled status and my age. Bride waits til there is a hush over the room, yells across the floor for me to get up there since I am not attached. MOG looks embarrassed for me, gets out of her seat and walks up there with me, and I was so grateful to her for this. But.....

.....reception's end, parent's of bride, MOG, FOG and I are standing with the bride and groom, thanking people for attending. Bride waits til she is semi circled by well wishers, sneaks a side long glance at me, clasps her new MIL's hands and starts jumping up and down....makes sure her audience is captive and announces "Look at us, the two Mrs. X's....the only two in the world". MOG giggles and starts bouncing with her. That one line undid years of consideration the MOG and I had given each other for the sake of the kids. I know the bride was trying to make me look foolish, but I think she only succeeded in presenting her true b****y face and making her MIL look like a pathetic 50 year old woman who could not let go of a marriage that had been over for 25 years.

Bridal couple is divorced now, but the damage that woman did over the course of 5 years of marriage - ingratiating herself with her MIL by constantly putting me down - has caused tensions in the family that never existed until she became a part of it.     Bridezilla0915-02

I was the MOH in my high school best friend's wedding. I'll call her Jill. Jill attended a college two hours away from where we lived and that's where she met her fiancé (whom I didn't care for). We were very good friends in high school. I would spend weekends at her house with her and her sister and sister's husband. Her sister was a very take charge kind of person and very demanding which was fine by me until I agreed to be in my friend's wedding.

First the bridesmaid's dresses: Jill was having the dresses made and I had to give my measurements for the dress. I had never seen what the dresses would look like but heard that they were so beautiful. I couldn't wait to try my on. I arrived a little later than the rest of the bridesmaid who had already had their dresses on. I inwardly gasped at the hideous dresses but was informed by Jill that mine would be a little different but certainly more beautiful. Well when the seamstress brought my dress out, I wanted to scream. It was bright pink or magenta and had a big HUGE flower right in the middle between my boobs. What could I do but say this is nice. Jill and her sister kept saying how beautiful this dress was and I was dying on the inside.

The week before the wedding: I came down with strep throat the weekend before the wedding. I was so sick I couldn't even get out of bed or even lift my head off my pillow. I started feeling a little better by Thursday before we (my mom, my cousin, my boyfriend and me) drove down for the wedding. I was still very sick though. We left late Friday afternoon going to the rehearsal. The directions we had weren't good so we got lost but we made it.

Through the rehearsal, I was coughing down the aisle which my mom thought I wasn't going to make it at all. I assured Jill that I would be fine and just to ensure this on the way to the rehearsal dinner we stopped at Walgreen's and got some Robitussin. Well it was dark and I didn't know how much to take so my mom said just drink from the bottle. We arrived at the rehearsal dinner which was held at one of the groom's relative's houses and proceeded to sit down to eat. Mind you we hadn't had anything to eat since that morning so we were pretty hungry. Well we get our hamburgers and chips and unsweetened Kool-Aid and proceeded to sit down. Hey we weren't going to complain it was something right? Wrong the burgers were completely raw in the middle. I'm not talking about medium raw, I'm talking about MOO!!!!! Remember I said I had strep throat and had taken Robitussin for my cough. Well I told my mom that I was not going to eat raw meat and then proceeded to pass out at the table. It turns out that I had swallowed half the bottle of Robitussin - OOPS! So I had to be carried by my mom and boyfriend to the car and we went back to the hotel room after they stopped and got McDonald's.

Day of the Wedding: I slept through the night and most of the morning so when we were getting ready, we heR this big knock on our door. It was Jill's sister asking where I was. She informed us that I was supposed to have been up at the crack of dawn helping decorate the hall where the reception was going to be. I have never been to a wedding where the guests help decorate besides no one had told me that. Maybe they announced it at the MOO dinner. Anyway my mom had to tell them that I was sick and would not be helping decorate anything. Apparently Jill's sister was upset. I don't know how Jill was because I hadn't talked to her. While Jill was getting dressed she didn't want any of groom's relatives to help her or see her dress before the wedding but they insisted and there was a big argument between Jill's sister and some of groom's relatives.

Skip forward to reception: Wedding went fine. However, apparently now Jill and her sister were mad at me because I didn't help decorate because neither talked to me at the reception. The hall was so small that the tables were pushed together and you could barely sit down between them. And there was no air conditioning, no music, and not a lot of room for anyone. I don't even remember a cake but maybe there was one. The food was cold cuts and cheese, pickles and some cold salads courtesy of the groom's family. However, since it was so hot in the room, the cheese had melted together so no one could eat it although the groom's relative certainly gave it a try. They acted as if they had never eaten before and proceeded to go through the little food that was provided. Jill and her new husband and her sister sat at the head table but I wasn't allowed there by the looks on their faces so I sat with my mother and cousin and boyfriend. I couldn't believe how she was acting especially after my mother and I threw her a kick butt bridal shower and everything and I don't even like planning parties.

The kicker was when at the end they expected me along with the other attendants to clean up the VFW hall they had rented which I promptly said no and went back to my hotel room (because remember I'm still sick). Jill's sister came to our room and asked for the MOH dress back which I gladly gave her (she save it from being burned). We all laughed because the whole thing was such a joke. It was the tackiest wedding I've ever been in. Needless to say I haven't talked to her since and that's been over 10 years now. Besides I didn't like her fiancé and told her not to marry him since he had cheated on her before they got married. I don't know if they're divorced or what and frankly I don't care.    Bridezilla0916-02

My friend from high school was not really the nicest person, but I put up with it because it was a small high school and there weren't many alternatives. She'd had her groom picked out since she was a freshmen. She always said I'd be her Maid of Honor.

As we went to college, I grew away from her and would not have been upset to just send a gift. But she was as good as her word -- I was suddenly thrust into a hell of dress fittings, spending my hard earned cash for a dress I'd never wear. I never wore dresses. I was up there with all sorts of pretty girly girls and was more comfortable in my doc martens. I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't really a girl because I couldn't put on hose without snagging them. But then the shower came along. I forked over more cash. I was the maid of honor, right? The shower was painful and I felt obviously single, and, at the time, I had no desire to ever be married. This was a cause for concern among the guests, who thought whatever I had might be catching.

The day of the dress rehearsal dawned. I looked at the dresses. Blue, blue,blue, red. My dress was blue. I was a bridesmaid!!! No one told me this while I forked over the cash for the shower. There were other insults throughout the next two days and I have never regretted the fact that I haven't seen her much after that. There is no way I'd have her at my upcoming wedding, but I secretly want to punish her for how she treated me by dressing her in something she'd never wear again and make her suffer through hysterical parties with penis shaped cakes. Yet, I am resisting the urge. No one will know about my wedding until it's over. I may have decided to take the plunge, but I learned how self-centered and stupid all this wedding crap can be. I'm hitting Vegas!     Bridezilla1001-02

I am not sure where this should be categorized, but my sister's wedding is becoming a hellish experience. It involves my family's intense and irrational dislike of my boyfriend. I suspected they didn't care for him, but now they have made it clear with their passive-aggressive behavior.

My sister is getting married in the fall of 2002. She invited me and my boyfriend. Even though it was short notice (she announced wedding in late July), both my boyfriend and I found the necessary vacation days to attend her wedding. Of course, the days were 'found' by canceling other plans we had made. Boyfriend and I were looking forward to going. Then things went down hill.

I made reservations at a B&B about 30 minutes from sister's home. Being the MOH, I expected to be at sister's house on morning of wedding to help her dress, calm nerves, et al. Boyfriend intended on finding something to do during the morning hours. What surprised me was my sister intended for me to dress elsewhere, claiming lack of space and started to complain about there not being enough time for me to go from the salon to the B&B and back to her house, then the church. She wanted me to cancel my B&B and get a room around her home. Also, it was made perfectly clear to me by my father that boyfriend was not to be 'hanging around sister's house before the wedding.'

After having a discussion with boyfriend about the above, he decided he wanted no part of the wedding and his place of employment willing took back the vacation days. After I informed sister of boyfriends altered plans, I was invited to stay at sister's house for entire length of my stay. There was nothing mentioned about lack of space in the house to get dressed. I have considered not going to the wedding, but I won't ruin another person's day, even if they deserve it.

All I can say is after this hellish experience is over, I will be spending as little time with my family as possible.    Bridezilla1003-02

My cousin, who is about 6 years younger than me, was married in the fall of 1999. I gracefully accepted her request to be a bridesmaid. In the months before the wedding, I drove to where she lives, about 4 hours away, for dress fittings, showers, etc. During this time I found out from my mom that my aunt ( the bride's mother) was very upset as her daughter was demanding a $5,000 dress that the family could not afford. My uncle was unemployed, and my aunt could not afford this expense on her salary. The bride-to-be took her father to look at the dress, and he promptly paid for the dress on a credit card that he did not pay for. My aunt was livid, and ended up having to take out a loan to pay for the rest of the wedding expenses.

In my cousin's credit, she was smart in picking out a classic pattern and material for a bridesmaids dresses, which she paid for. We were only responsible for paying for the seamstress and our shoes. On one of my trips down to help out with the planning, my cousin asked me to help her pick out shoes for the bridesmaids. I knew that the MOH and the only other bridesmaid were in school and could not afford expensive shoes. The first store we went to was a pricey store, where I reluctantly agreed on a pair of $60 shoes (plus dyeing fees) that my cousin picked out. We went to the mall afterwards for some lunch, and I suggested we see what the shoe stores there had. I found a pair of shoes very similar to the ones picked out at the other store, and noticed that they were half the price of the other pair, including the dyeing. My cousin immediately blew off my suggestion to order from the cheaper store, her attitude being that the other store must be better, since they charged more. I did not argue with her, as it was her wedding. The shoes, subsequently, ended up costing more than the bridesmaid dress.

The day before the wedding, I opted not to drive and grabbed a ride with my parents. The rehearsal and dinner went smoothly, until we were about to leave. My cousin had stated that she wanted to go out and drink. One of the bridesmaids was not drinking age, but really wanted to hang out with us. I suggested we do something that she would be able to participate in. We decided to go to the store first, as I needed to pick up pantyhose and some other things for the wedding, and we would decide from there what we would do for the rest of the evening.

On the way out of the rehearsal dinner, my aunt pulled me aside and told me I was responsible for her daughter and to make sure she did not drink. I told my aunt I would do what I could, but that her daughter was of age and hard-headed and that I would not be responsible for her actions.

My cousin drove us to the store, where I was going to quickly pick out what I needed. Instead, my cousin devised a plan to go to the bowling alley where the groom and his attendants and friends were (one of whom was my older brother), and trash their cars. She and the other attendants had already picked out the toilet paper and other supplies for the prank, and in their haste to get out of the store and on to the bowling alley, I forgot to get the pantyhose. I was too busy trying to talk her out of the prank and into going somewhere else.

Long story short, I sat in the car as my cousin and her MOH and other bridesmaid placed toilet paper, shaving cream, and maxi pads on the guys' cars. Someone in the parking lot let the guys in the bowling alley know what was going on, and they came outside. One of the guys had just purchased his car, a brand new red sportscar, and the shaving cream had damaged his paint. He was furious, as was the groom-to-be. My brother was upset as well, and told me I needed to get my cousin out of there. My cousin insisted on staying and arguing with her fiancé, who was trying to calm her down in spite of his anger.

We finally left, and my cousin, deciding that she wanted to go to a bar, dropped the younger bridesmaid off where her parents were staying, much to the bridesmaid's disappointment. I tried to be the voice of reason and suggested we not go out drinking (don't get me wrong here- I love to party, but I knew how my cousin could get), so we went to a TGIF's instead, where my cousin threw down shots and the MOH and I sipped on a glass of wine.

I eventually drove us back to my cousin's house where we were staying. Her parents were asleep, thankfully. On my way to bed, I told my cousin that I would need to go by the store on the way to get our hair done in the morning to get the pantyhose I had forgotten, to which she had a rude and over-the top response to. I just ignored her and went to bed. I did get my pantyhose the next morning.

My cousin had a horrible attitude the whole day of the wedding, making snide comments and upsetting those around her. I finally spoke up and said I understood it was "her" day, but she needed to be nice to those around her, which she just ignored.

We arrived at the church and the MOH, the other bridesmaid and myself got ready in the church bathroom adjacent to the bride's dressing room. The MOH and bridesmaid complained to me about my cousin's behavior, one of them almost in tears. I finished getting ready and went to the bride's room to fix my 6-year-old niece's (flower girl) hair. My cousin was still ranting and complaining about anything she could find, when her flowers arrived. Instead of the leaves being gold-edged, they were completely dipped in gold, which still looked very pretty. Nonetheless, my cousin flew into a fit as we tried to pick the gold off the leaves as her mother made a frantic phone call to the florist. In the midst of this chaos, my niece threw up her hands and stated to everyone in the room, "This wedding is completely ruined" (she really didn't like finding someone who was more of a drama queen than herself :-)) and stomped out of the room.

My cousin, of course, went into a fit as to why my niece said this. I had to bite my lip from laughing, and gently corrected my niece that although I thought it funny, my cousin didn't (yeah, I know I probably shouldn't have said it was funny), and my niece apologized to my cousin, who really didn't notice because she had gone back to griping about the flowers and yelling at her mom.

The ceremony went smoothly, although by this time, as sentimental as I can be, I could not muster up a happy emotion, much less a tear. I just stood and smiled.

The reception was fun, I put my cousin's attitude behind me and socialized with family and friends. When the time for the best man's and MOH's toast came, the MOH pulled me aside and asked if I would give the toast instead, as she was still very upset by my cousin's behavior. I couldn't talk her into doing it, so I agreed to do the toast. Probably not a good idea, as I had been through a couple of glasses of champagne and was feeling brave. I "sentimentally" told the story of when I first met my cousin when she was a baby, and how she had peed on me, which drew laughs from the crowd. It was a bad thing for me to do, but the crowd saw it as a nostalgic story, though very few knew it was personally my way of putting my cousin in her place somehow. I did follow up the story with a sweet story and congratulations to the happy couple, blah blah blah, and I believe my cousin *actually* thanked me for the kind toast before she and her new hubby made their grand exit from the ceremony.   Bridezilla1011-02

I am the eldest of 13 cousins on my mums side and 5 of us are girls we are all very close having spent all of our childhood in and out of each others homes . Being the eldest I was the first to marry and naturally chose all four of my female cousins as bridesmaids(I have no sisters) and my male cousins and brother as ushers and groomsmen. The second eldest married a couple of years later and the same was done again I was MOH and the others fell in ranked by age behind me.

When the time came a couple of years after that for the next in age to marry(we are nothing if not orderly) we all assumed that again we would be bridesmaids etc and one afternoon on a family beach picnic the subject of the impending nuptials naturally came up and we all became a little excitable and interested in dress styles and colors etc when the BTB announced loudly and sneeringly that my other married cousin and I were not to be a part of the bridal party as she wanted no old married fat girls in her wedding photos !!!!!! Well my cousin and I were really upset and I am ashamed to admit was reduced to tears I may be married and a whole 5 years older and yes I will admit to a few extra kilos but I am also the mother of two ( that's my excuse and I am sticking to it) .

Anyway the wedding day drew nearer and out of (I hope) some sense of guilt my cousin asked us to give a reading at the ceremony which we agreed to. On the day itself we arrived at the church and waited for our 15 minutes of fame but it never came we were both gobsmacked to say the least as we had been rehearsing etc for weeks. Arriving at the reception which was held in a very grand villa overlooking a gorgeous beach we watched as every member of the family was grouped into their individual families and lined up for the photo call guess who was accidentally forgotten in the confusion? By this time we were really really upset and just wanted to get it all over with and go home so we went in to the dining room for the formal sit down dinner and lo and behold our table was the last one at the back of the room right next to the men’s loos (Australian slang for 'bathroom"). We still talk about that day and console ourselves with the fact that even after all her meticulous planning and attention to detail( even ensuring her bridesmaids were the right size , age and shape) it rained hard all day and her photos are poor quality and very few. ( By the way we live in Melbourne Australia so I guess that just proves that Bridezillas are universal) thanks for listening !!!  Bridezilla1012-02

When I was in college my boyfriend (who is now my husband) and I were invited to his best friend's wedding. Since his best friend had graduated and moved far away before we started dating, I had only met his friend a few times and his fiancée once. We had to travel by car (too poor for a plane ticket) about 1000 miles to attend the wedding, but it was spring break and we were excited to be in a touristy beach town with lots of friends for the wedding. When we arrived, the bride told me that none of her friends had been able to come, and she asked me if I would be her maid of honor. I thought this a bit strange, since we had only met once, but I agreed.

Here are some of the fun things I endured: She showed me dozens of naked picture of herself that a previous boyfriend had taken. She asked me help her make the bouquets and cake, and complained and criticized me (and then made fun of me to everyone later) for not being able to arrange flowers or make icing decorations very well. She asked me to take her out for a bachelorette night, so the two of us went to a bar, she picked up a guy, we went back to his house, and I sat in the living room and watched them get high and talk about how terrible it was that she was getting married the next day since they obviously had such a connection.

The day of her wedding she had me run her bath water, paint her toenails, bring her water and snacks (even though we were in her apartment about 10 feet away from the kitchen), and basically fawn over her for two hours while my boyfriend, her husband to be, and our other friends were frolicking at the beach (yes, my boyfriend got an earful about that later). She then told me that she had always been attracted to my boyfriend and would have gone for him is she hadn't already hooked up with her husband to be. There were lots of other highlights, but I think you get the picture. Of course, we ended up living in the same city with this couple, and I endured several years of this kind of behavior from her. Thankfully they are divorced now, and my husband's best friend is now dating a normal person!  Bridezilla1015-02

Thankfully, I'm not married to him anymore. But about one and a half months before the wedding I asked had he made all the arrangements for the honeymoon. "oh, I decided we aren't going, it's too far away, why don't you make reservations at a b&b nearby" Stupidly I did so. Should have taken it as a sign

Then, at the rehearsal dinner (shoddy to say the least), I handed out my gifts to my b-maids and told them all how much I appreciated them being a part of this day. Then the groom stood up, "Thanks, I'll bring you the gift tomorrow" then took me aside to be angry at me that I hadn't told him that he was supposed to get them gifts. Before the wedding, he handed out CD's that he bought that morning. It only gets worse.

Though not his fault, his parents are so late to the reception that the entire wedding party waits almost thirty minutes to be introduced. Never apologized. Then an hour after that, I find I'm cutting the cake. My mom and I had talked before the wedding and said that after that I was to go change into my going away outfit, so I thought it was much later. I come down from changing and it's at least one hour before the reception was supposed to end. My mom looked upset but I figured it was a little girl thing. So I danced around...and then we left at the right time. Later, after I divorced the jerk, I find out from my mom that the groom was wandering around, got bored and told the DJ to cut the cake so he could get out of there. Well I couldn't wait to get out of the marriage!   Bridezilla1015-02