|Looking for that perfect bridal shower gift? Every
bride needs a commonsense guide to the etiquette that really
matters. Let Wedding Etiquette Hell: A Bride's
Bible for Avoiding Everlasting Damnation by Jeanne
Hamilton be your guide.
Jul-Dec 2000 Archives
daughter was engaged previously to a college classmate, deposits and arrangements were
made, wedding gown and bridesmaids dresses purchased AND
she called it off two months before the scheduled date. Within four months she was again
engaged to a former highschool classmate with whom she had remained close and had
"cried on his shoulder". We paid for a HUGE wedding and reception. She was
married to him for two years when her high school sweetheart (the REAL love of her life)
appeared now divorced from his wife and you guessed it.....she left her husband and plans
were made for a wedding immediately after the divorce was final. We refused to pay for
another wedding SO because this guy had said to my daughter "I would really love to
have a BIG wedding with you" SHE went into debt over 10K to give him a reasonably big
wedding. They just celebrated theei second anniversary and in casual conversation she let
slip to me that to this day he still tells everyone "we had a really small
wedding"!!!!!!! What a guy!! Bridezilla0105-02
My friend "Carrie" is getting married early next year. Her parents had said
that they would pay for the entire wedding if she waiting until after she graduated from
college (she's been there almost 7 years); but she decided to go ahead and get married
anyway. Since her parents had laid this ultimatum (which I'm not sure is a faux pas or
not) they said they would only pay for half of the wedding, and Carrie's mom said she
would still pay for the dress. Carrie has always been pretty spoiled and is stubborn, and
she was really upset that her folks wouldn't pay for the entire thing. She did lots of
little things just to piss her parents off, but there were 2 main ones that really got to
me. Her first step of revenge was to make sure her parent's were not invited to the
engagement party that the groom's mother held. The other, (which I have yet to forgive her
for) was when she was shopping for her dress, she blew her mom off even though the lady
was calling her to find out when they could go dress shopping; Carrie took her
the mother of the MOH and got the mother of the MOH to help her buy the dress! My mom (who
is Carrie's mom's best friend, told me that after she found out, Carrie's mom just cried
for days) After that, Carrie's dad refused to pay for any of the wedding at all. Most
people I've talked to, can't believe that this girl would burn her bridge like this. Even
if you are having issues with mom that is classic mom/daughter time and you don't 1) lie
to other people about your mom not buying you a dress, 2) you shouldn't ASK someone to buy
it period and 3) your wedding is not about a time to get petty revenge on your folks.
My story of a wedding etiquette hell was the wedding of a close friend that I had known
since we were 4 years old. My friend, we will call her Lyn, had been seeing her boyfriend,
who we shall call Frank, on and off for about 6 years.
It all started one day when I was walking downtown and ran into Frank, Lyn and their
6-month-old son. Lyn was so happy I had to ask her why? Her reply was that her and Frank
were getting married the next day. (They had made the decision less than a week before
when her godparents offered to pay for their wedding). She then invited me to come with
them to pick up her wedding shop. Well this is where it started to go downhill. We get to
the store and Lyn starts to cry when she sees the dress. Lyn is a petite woman in height
and size so she needed the dress hemmed (it was a summer dress that had a silk under dress
and a see through over dress with flowers on it) Well the over dress part was at least 3
inches shorter than the silk under dress! Frank couldnt understand why she was so
upset so Lyn proceeded to scream at him in the middle of the store. I then told her that
we were going to go and see my mom, who was a part time seamstress, and hopefully she
would be able to do something to fix it before the ceremony the next day.
Lyn then told me it wasnt worth it and she would wear the dress and have her
wedding day ruined. I have known Lyn for many years and know not to argue with her when
she is consumed with self-pity.
Then she told me that I *had* to go to the ceremony and that it was for 7pm the next
day. I explained that I worked evenings and I couldnt get the time off on such short
notice. I then had Frank tell me that I was not a good friend and I was just as bad as his
family (who were told earlier that day and would have had to drive for 2 days to get to
where we lived)
Trying to be a good friend I offered to take care of their son the next day so they
could spend their time dealing with all the last minute preparations for the wedding but I
would have to leave at 4pm to get to work on time. They were both happy with me due to
what I was offering.
The next morning I showed up at their home at 8am (they told me I didnt have to
be there till 9am but I thought I would go a bit early cause they were always awake by
then). I arrived at their home to have them pass their son to me on their way out the
door. I was left with no formula, no way to get a hold of them if something went wrong,
and as they were driving off they told me "see ya at 6pm"
Well I was left with their son, no formula, no bottles and no way to go to the store to
get some. Luckily I got a hold of Lyn's mother and she brought some.
Well at around 10 Lyn comes running into their home and tells me that she is going to
get her hair done and can I lend her some money. I decided to (only to find out when Frank
came home that her god parents were paying for her hair to get done) the rest of the
afternoon was fairly enjoyable as I got to visit with Frank and pretty much sure that he
had everything that was needed for the ceremony. At 2pm he told me he had to run out for a
bit and I reminded him that I had to work that night so he had to come and watch their son
by 4 that day. On the way out the door he said he would be back by 3:30 at the latest.
Well at 6:45 Lyn and Frank walk in the door drunk as skunks. I am livid now because I
know I probably lost my job (they dont have a phone so I couldnt even phone my
boss) and when I asked them why they were so late they told me that they had decided they
wanted me at their wedding so they just didnt come home so I would lose my job and
hence be free for the ceremony. I was upset but I decided to talk to them about it on
another day (I dont have the heart to ruin anyones wedding).
It is highly unlikely that the absence of one person
will be the ruination of a wedding regardless of how much a Bridezilla declares it to be
Well 7:30 we all get into the godparents compact car and off to the pastor's home we
go. When we arrive we find the house packed with people. The pastor decided to invite the
entire congregation (90% of which didnt even know the bride or groom). Then the
pastor pulls me aside and tells me I have to take the baby and stand outside as to not
ruin the wedding (it was -5 outside by this point). I told him I would talk to Frank and
Lyn about it and he told me that he already had and passes me the baby's jacket.
I then was forced to spend the whole ceremony holding a crying baby in freezing weather
watching the proceedings through a window. Luckily enough though the ceremony was not more
than 10 minutes long. Frank and Lyn also informed me that the Pastor had not talked to
them about me and the baby standing outside and that they wanted their son to be part of
the ceremony. I was told that they didnt want to see me and I was to walk back to
town (which was a 30-minute drive). As I was putting on my jacket Lyn came over and asked
me "Where is my wedding gift?" I was so appalled over all of this I
couldnt even reply. This story to me is a perfect one for Weddings From Hell because
that is what it was. (I wont even mention the antics from the baby shower)
My fiancé and I had gotten engaged in the fall of 2000 we had not set a specific date,
but had told his family and mine that we were thinking about a spring 2001 wedding. Well,
we found out over Christmas that his younger brother Chase* and girlfriend, *Nora* had
gotten engaged. Their date was set for MAY 2001 Oh well.....We decided to wait until the
following year, as my fiancés mother asked us to wait about 6 months after Chase
and Nora's wedding to have ours.
The wedding date approaches. My fiancé is asked to be a groomsman for his brother. My
future MIL in law calls me up one night to get my measurements. I was to be a bridesmaid,
however, I had not been formally asked by Nora. I was more than a little annoyed at this
assumption, but just figured she was too busy, and after all, she was going to be my
sister in law. Shortly after, my cousin asks me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding which is
on the same date as Chase and Nora's. I explained to her that I couldn't because I had
already committed to being in this other wedding.
Well....weeks go by and I hear nothing from Nora, no instructions, NOTHING. Finally, one
weekend my future MIL tells me that Nora wanted her to tell me that MY (and only mine)
dress didn't come in, and would I please stand at the sign in book and just ask people to
sign the book as they come to the ceremony. So I was demoted from bridesmaid to book
overseer. My feelings were so hurt that I cried the entire weekend. Well, I got over that,
and straightened things out with Nora. I even invited her to the coast with my family one
About 2 weeks prior to her wedding, Nora calls me and informs me that her MOH was no
longer in the wedding and that she needed a fill in. Would I be interested, since the
dress would probably fit me? I told her yes, as she sounded desperate, and I actually
WANTED to help her out and plus it might even be fun. Well...it turned into a nightmare.
First, she informs me as everyone is leaving the rehearsal dinner that I have to be at the
beauty shop at 8 AM the next morning to have my hair put into a bun. I live over 2 hours
away and this meant getting up at 5 and having to find a babysitter for my daughter. We
were already having to drive back home, as there was no vacancy at the hotels in town. No
one had bother to make any kind of arrangements for out of town guests, even though the
grooms brother lived over two hours away. WE did the best we could and still got
there late. But I got my hair up and had my dress on hours before the pictures.
Right before the pictures, Nora demanded that everyone remove their jewelry. I was the
only one who had a problem with this, because my fiancé had given me a small necklace
with a heart shaped pendant on it and asked me not to take it off until we were married. I
explained this to her and offered to turn it around backwards so that it wouldnt
show but noooooo.....This was not good enough and she started screaming at me that I was
ruining her wedding. Her mother told me that if I didn't take that necklace off I wouldn't
be in the wedding. I politely refused and said if she would rather me not be in the
wedding that was fine. After much fuss, and some really dirty looks from the MOB and her
sisters, I was reluctantly allowed to be in the wedding. My future MIL actually came to my
rescue, which kind of surprised me. Everything is fine now, and we never discuss that day.
I am currently planning my own wedding and I am making a point to be considerate of other
peoples feelings and I will not wait until the last moment to make demands of my
bridesmaids. Needless to say, NORA will not be asked to participate in my wedding.
I 'm not sure where this story falls in your tacky wedding etiquette page but it
involves the bachelor party.
This happened to my fiancé last year. A friend of his was getting married to this girl
who seemed to have a lot of "problems". She was insecure, jealous, etc. You get
the picture. Previous to this they had been engaged and broke it off several times.
Anyway, fast forward to the bachelor party. The guys involved in the bachelor party
decided that they would have it at a seaside resort for a weekend. They asked the groom to
be if it was ok and they made sure that he was available on said weekend. He agreed.
Later that week, he calls the Best Man and tells him that he would be there but not
until evening. (They had planned on driving there during the day) and to go ahead without
him. He said that he had to "work", even though he knew about it for three
So the day comes and the guys load up their cards w/beer and he head down to the
resort. 6pm comes, 7pm comes. There's no groom. And there's no word from him either. So
the best man calls him to find out when he would be there and the groom says that he is
He came up with some lame excuse that he "didn't feel well". Yeah
right. We all know that the bride to be was behind it. Bridezilla0201-02
I work at a dry cleaners and we handle many wedding gowns before and after the
One day, a man came in with a large order of clothing for his wife. There were many
dresses, suits, etc.
What we didn't know was that the ivory two-piece dress was in fact her wedding dress.
It was very simple with rather inexpensive pearl-like plastic buttons on the top. Really,
there was no way we could have known since he did not say.
We cleaned and pressed everything with no problem. So we thought. He brought her dress
her back a few days later to point out that a button had come off. We were quite
embarrassed and we took the top back to replace the button at our own expense since it was
our mistake. I warned him that the button would not be an exact match but it would be a
VERY close approximation. He seemed to be fine with that and simply requested that we
return the garment at the end of the week.
We replaced the button and bagged the garment. We then waited two weeks for the groom
When he did, I had him look the garment over to ensure it was to his satisfaction. He
was very pleased and thanked us for repairing the problem. About an hour later, he
returned with his wife. She appeared very angry and he looked rather chagrined and
embarrassed to be there.
She stormed into the store and began to scream at me that we have ruined her dress. I
was shocked at her anger but I understood since it was her wedding dress. Mind you, I was
still under the impression that the wedding was coming up soon. I asked her what the
problem was and she got angrier and threw the top at me. She screamed that we had
completely ruined her dress, she had to cancel her wedding photo session indefinitely and
if we could not fix this, we should reimburse her the cost of the dress.
I still was unsure what the problem was, so I looked to her husband for help since he
was still calm. He began to tell me that it was the button when his wife screamed at him
to shut up. She snatched the top out of my hands, ripped the plastic from it and
practically shoved it in my face. She screamed that the bottom button that we replaced was
smaller than all of the others and thus, the dress ruined.
I gently took the top from her and looked. And looked again. The button WAS smaller but
not by much. One would have to look VERY closely to tell. (The photographer would have had
to zoom in on her abdomen to tell in the portrait!) I apologized for the fact that it was
smaller but reiterated what I had told her husband. Before she could start screaming
again, I offered to have the seamstress find another button and sew that on. She seemed
okay but began freaking out again. Then I offered to have her come by to approve a
selection of buttons so she could be certain that it would meet her satisfaction.
She was somewhat calmer and decided against approving a button. However, she learns
over the counter and jabs her finger in my face and says that we better not mess up her
gown again or she will sue us for the photographer's fee as well as the cost of the dress.
Then she spun around and left.
We replaced the button a second time and called them to inform them that it was ready.
I was really apprehensive about them coming in and prayed the button would be up to her
She was a completely different person this time. She was friendly and polite. She was
thrilled with the button and stated that we did a beautiful job, we're a great cleaners,
and so on. I was just stunned!
I apologized once more for the problem and told her that I hoped she'd have a lovely
ceremony as well as beautiful pictures. She then told me that she had the wedding six
months before and it was her parents that had begged them to sit for the photos. She
laughed and told me that she never wanted pictures of her wedding and was planning on
going to Wal-Mart to have them done. Gratefully, they have never been
A friend's younger brother was getting married. We had all grown up together. I was
invited by phone a few weeks before the wedding. The bride's family gave her a shower (we
heard) but didn't invite anyone on the groom's side. In the cute, TINY church, the bride's
train stayed at the entrance as she walked past 5 small pews on each side to reach the
little altar. The reception was in the church hall, which was in the basement. We had
potato salad, cole slaw, macaroni salad, wedding cake and (I saw it being made) warm
Kool-Aide. The bride's mother wore a stained screen-printed top over greenish-yellow plaid
pants. I didn't stay very long. The groom's tiny 'side' met up at his mother's for a
cookout. The bride was furious when she heard about that since her family's 'reception'
was THE reception and no other party was necessary. She made the mistake of saying so to
her new mother-in-law who promptly ripped her a new one. My friend's Mom had been horribly
embarrassed. She had offered to host a reception ('I could have taken out a small
loan.") or to 'join wallets' and had been rebuffed with remarks about 'tradition'.
The groom was also embarrassed and started his marriage with his Mom and wife on feuding
The bride and I had been friends for a long time, so I was one of the bridesmaids. At
first, I was extremely honored, because some other close friends of hers didn't make the
However, I immediately became flabbergasted at her behavior. We were asked to have a
tan - without tan lines - because it would be a summer wedding and she didn't want anyone
to look bad in our spaghetti strap dresses. Unfortunately, one of the other maids is a
lifeguard and swimming instructor. Even though she wears a high SPF at work, she can't
help but get lines because she is exposed to the sun for long hours. And I am in summer
school and don't have time to sit outdoors sunning myself - I am cooped up in a classroom
all day. Even if I wasn't, I wouldn't get skin cancer to look cute in a bridesmaids
dress. I will be self-tanning and using bronzing powder to appease her but I was a little
upset she couldn't be satisfied with our natural skin tone - nobody in the bridal party is
Two weeks later we were told she had scheduled up-do appointments for us, and then a
month later we were told everyone needed to have a French manicure. I really don't mind
doing all those things, especially the nails because I get mine done in that style
regularly, but the disorganization and seemingly endless flow of expectations bothered me.
Then, I found out the bride is having not one, not two, not three, but FOUR showers. My
understanding of bridal etiquette is that it is in bad taste to have more than two. She
has always been a little pampered, but I thought four was excessive. I had mentioned the
situation to a friend at school, and she knew of a girl that had SIX showers! I realize
sometimes people host surprise showers and the bride doesn't have control over how many
she ends up having, but in this case the bride was well aware and you can be the judge of
whether she should have consolidated the four or not.
Her parents are divorced, so it might seem understandable that she is having more than
the normal amount, but the shower for her dad's side of the family is being hosted AT HER
MOTHER'S HOUSE! A third shower was for her friends at school, and the last one was for the
bridal party only, which is ridiculous because her college is not THAT far away from our
hometown or our respective colleges, and the people at both parties are mostly students
and all around the same age, so it wouldn't have been a generational issue. I was invited
to three of the four showers. I am only attending the one for the bridal party.
Two weeks before the shower, the MOH contacted all the bridesmaids and told us we each
had to run a game, bring the proper supplies, and prizes. I thought this was incredibly
tacky. Don't volunteer to be the hostess if you are going to pawn all the planning off on
the guests! Then again, maybe since this is the FOURTH shower she is tired. :)
What should have been a happy experience is turning into a constant source of stress.
On the bright side, I definitely learned what NOT to do when I am coordinating my wedding!
:) I will be organized and make all my demands up front, not a new one each week.
Why make any "demands" of your attendants
at all? Bridezilla0601-02
Two months before our wedding and things were "down to the wire." I (the
bride to be) was still awaiting a bridal shower, or maybe I thought it would be a
surprise, that is why I hadn't heard of anything yet. Nobody asked me for names and
addresses, or anything for that matter. I was getting antsy and finally asked my mother if
she knew if my great friends a.k.a bridesmaids were planning anything. No. My mother
decided to then take it upon herself to plan my bridal shower.
wrote a fictional story just like this several years
ago. Life now imitates art.
When she asked my Matron-of-Honor how she planned to participate she suggested that she
would bring chips and dip. My Matron-of-Honor thought this would suffice for 30 guests for
my shower. About 20 days before our wedding, we had the shower. Stepping back a few
months, around October, the bridesmaids dresses were in and ready to be picked up and
taken to a seamstress, whom I had previously set up and all the bridesmaids had to do was
take the dresses. Jumping ahead to the bridal shower in April, 20 days before our wedding,
they decided to get them altered AT THE SHOWER! They had the dresses altered and I thought
the worst was over. Two of my bridesmaids, the Matron-of-Honor included, were late to
rehearsal and tried on their dresses to see if the alterations were ok. They were not.
They had them altered again and had to try them on the wedding day. Fine.
The wedding day gets here and I wake up and ask my mother if she would go to town, buy
doughnuts, and take them to the beauty salon where all the girls were getting their hair
done. My mother says, "Ugh... I was going to relax today...why don't you go do
it?" Hello?!? She went anyway. And we are left to
wonder what torture was inflicted to get Mom to do this....
When I got to the salon, two bridesmaids were there, two were not. Once the other two
arrived they had to have their hair done BEFORE mine (the bride) because they were hungry
and wanted to go back to my house and eat before the wedding. I was the last one to get my
hair done and that was finished at 2:10. The wedding started at 3:00. I called my mom on
the cell to see if anyone had brought my suitcase and make-up bag to town for me because I
was running late and we lived 20 minutes out of town. To my "surprise" no one
had thought to grab MY things. What?
The vile slaves have forgotten your clothing and toiletries? So I drove 80mph home and back to get to the church with all of my
things at 2:45. I walked past all of my guests as they watched me bolt to the dressing
room in the church.
When I walked in the door, nobody said hello to me, in fact, the only thing that was
said to me was from my mother and that was, "You're late." (Ya think?) Because
my bridesmaids had to eat I was 15 minutes late for my wedding, and that was pushing it.
What selfish bridesmaids! How dare they not starve for
your perfect wedding!
I had gotten ready so fast I did not have time to enjoy the things a bride should enjoy
while she is getting ready to be married. I finally, as I was getting ready to walk out
the door with my father to take me down the aisle, burst into tears and could not stop. I
was so hurt, rushed, and worried that I could not stop crying. After about 10 minutes of
crying because I was late (which I made a secret promise to myself to not be late because
my fiancé was always on my case for being late and I wanted to be on time for once, that
day) I finally walked out the dressing room and down the aisle to marry my
husband. Bridezilla0627-02 Don't blame your
bridesmaids for your stress...chalk it up to you wanting those fancy hairdos for your
A few years ago a friend of mine from college was planning her wedding, she had chosen
to have five attendants 2 of her cousins and 3 of her other friends from college, I was a
little hurt that she hadn't chose me(since I had known her longer and my fiancée and I
spent almost every weekend with her and the groom to be ) but hey it was her wedding day
so I got over it.
Six months before the big day one of our friends backed out, not really giving a reason
and I assumed I would be the one to step in, not so, she instead chose a friend she had in
high school that I had never met, once again I accepted this since it was her big day.
Well, this particular friend backed out approximately four months before the wedding, and
I thought surely she will pick me, but alas I was once again passed over for a friend she
had made at her new job that she had only started the previous month This really hurt me
but I said okay and got over it again.
Now came time for the showers of which she had four, I went to each and every one, gift
in tow, I helped with the decorations on two of these and upon request at one of the
showers left in the middle to buy more refreshments out of my own pocket.
About a month before the wedding I threw the bride to be a "bachelorette"
shower at my home, she invited 12 people not including me and herself, I sent out
invitations, spent a week cleaning my home from top to bottom, I borrowed extra blankets
and pillows from my mother so that all the guests could sleep over (no drunk drivers), I
went and bought two air mattresses, I had a buffet of food including a special ordered
cake, and enough liquor and beer for two times as many people as would attend. Once all
the guests arrived they stayed a grand total of 45 minutes before deciding they all wanted
to go to the bar, I figure what the hell, and go along I make sure to bring enough $$ with
me so the bride to be does not have to purchase her own drinks, we then spent the next
FIVE hours at the bar I stay sober so that I can drive everyone back to my home (we all
crammed in my bronco to get there) upon return to my home, all of the girls leave (except
the bride she actually stayed) the food goes untouched, that cake uncut, and all but one
bottle of liquor unopened no one drank any beer at all.
Fast forward to the next morning the bride gets ready to leave and wants to know if she
can have all of the beer and liquor I had bought for the wedding reception!!! I agree I
mean she is my friend right??? And I thought I was helping her. I attend the wedding and
it was beautiful and the reception (with gift from registry) and I notice that there is no
alcohol served at the reception the entire evening, I later found out that the bride took
the liquor and beer from the party I had and had a bachelorette party for herself which I
wasn't invited to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say I no longer speak to her!
I met my husband through a friend of mine who he used to date. They remained roommates
and good friends after they broke up. It was a few years after they broke up that she set
us up on a date. Mind you, she was living with someone else at the time so I wasn't
"stealing her man", or so I thought. We hit it off wonderfully and our one set
up date turned into a full blown romance. Well, this set off my friend and she then
proceeded to try and break us up by telling me horrible things about him, which I just
Meanwhile my friend started to date a new person, after my husband and her no longer
were roommates. My husband would never believe that she was saying anything bad about him
and was still talking about having her in our wedding party as his groomsman, something
they had talked about in the past since they remained so close. I grit my teeth and
nodded, knowing that there was no way this was going to happen. The day after we were
engaged, this girl called me. I knew that my husband and told her because he let me know.
I was expecting congratulations, but instead she started talking about her new boyfriend
and how wonderful he was and how rich he was going to be. Not one word of acknowledgement
about my engagement. Finally, I said, he we got engaged yesterday, "Yes, I know I was
told, that's great". Still, my husband didn't want to admit that she might have a
problem with us being together.
We got together a few times with this couple, and as I set my date talked to her about
wedding plans. Each time I would mention something she would find a way to turn it back to
her new beau and how well hung he was, how rich he was going to be. It was no surprise
when they became engaged. What surprised me was she had to be married right away, within a
few months. My wedding planning was taking over a year. We were paying for our wedding all
ourselves and we wanted to be able to save for just what we wanted. Well, my friend didn't
ask me to be in her wedding, no big deal. Except after two other people bowed out as her
MOH she called and told me about it and then asked, hey will you do it. Fool that I am I
said, uh ok, but I can't afford a big dress, remember she knew we were saving for my
wedding. I was assured it was no problem.
But of course, it turned into a big problem for me. I ended up buying one of those
long, satiny MOH dresses, with dyed matching shoes because "My mother insists that I
have this type of dress, she won't hear of anything else, I'm sorry I know it is
expensive, please or my mom will be so upset" I came to find out of course that her
mother didn't make any recommendations about the dress. Meanwhile this friend came over to
my house to talk about wedding plans and proceeded to wonder if she should invite MY
future in-laws to her wedding since "you know, they love me so much and were crushed
when I broke up with him" . This couldn't have been farther from the truth since they
had both told me how wrong she and their son were for each other and how happy they were
that I came into his life. I found a way to tell her that it wasn't the best idea and
luckily she left it. But it wasn't the last time I would hear how much my husband's
parents really wanted her as their DIL.
Come the wedding, it went well, I helped set up, and still in my gown helped to clean
up the entire hall with my husband, and the brother of the bride. It entailed loading up
huge rented tables onto his truck and putting away all the chairs. When my friend came
back from her honeymoon she called. I thought she was going to thank me for helping,
especially for staying to clean up and make sure the room was back to the way it was
before. No, she called to start yelling at me how no one would help her and her day was
ruined and a table was broken because it fell out of the truck and how she couldn't count
on anyone to help her. Needless to say that was the last time I talked to her. My husband
finally figured out that she wasn't very nice and probably wasn't a friend of either of
us. Our wedding went off as planned, without her in attendance, thank goodness.
Around 13 years ago, a childhood friend of mine announced her plans to marry.
"Tina" and "Kyle" had met while in the Army, lived together for a few
months, and decided that the wedding would be on Valentine's day, a Tuesday, in not just
another town, but another state (we are in South Carolina, she wanted the wedding to be in
the tiny town in Georgia that her family had come from--mind you, her family didn't still
live in that town, and she knew virtually no one there, but that's where it just had to
be.). The bride and groom were stationed in Virginia at the time.
Tina asked me to be in her wedding, along with another girl we had grown up
with-"Janie." I had reservations about taking on the commitment, because I was
in the midst of planning my own wedding, which was to take place just a few weeks after
hers. She assured me that it would be no problem, that her wedding would be small and
would require little planning (should've seen that as a red flag!!) and that the other
attendant, Janie, would be available to help out.
Ok, the day is drawing nearer, and I find that virtually nothing, beyond reserving the
church and mailing out invitations has been done. The bride has her dress, and that's
about it. Because of conflicting job schedules, as well as the bride traveling to town
infrequently, Janie, Tina and I have difficulty connecting to shop for bridesmaids
dresses. The bride assures us not to worry...it'll all work out. She won't hear of Janie
and me going out on our own, and picking out dresses that we both like, and then later
submitting them for her approval. Nope, we have to be together for all of it.
Finally, a couple of days before the wedding, the Bride decides it is time. So, the
three of us head for the mall. The dress she picked was unbelievable----I just wish I
still had it so I could send you a picture---it was a HIDEOUS office dress! Nothing at all
special, fancy, formal about it. Machine washable. Dark, almost navy, blue, with big,
white, square neck...things..that draped down across our chests and made us look like
pilgrims. At least I only had to spend around $30. I'd expected to pay much more for
something much nicer, as had Janie. But, again, she was the bride, we wanted to keep her
happy, so we acquiesced. And that, quite literally, was the extent of the involvement
Janie and I had with planning the wedding. The bride just took care of everything else on
There was no rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. We were expected to show up at the church
on the day of the wedding, and they would just tell us what to do then. From the time Tina
told me that she was getting married up until the wedding itself, I had warned Tina that
my own wedding was coming up soon and I couldn't take days off work to spend in Georgia
with her. No problem, she said. Just be to the church on time.
She planned her wedding for mid afternoon, which meant I had to work 1/2 a day, leave
at around 11 and make the 3 hour drive with my dad so we'd be there in time for the 3:00
wedding. We find the church, and no one is there. It's locked. This was before cell
phones, so there was no way to reach anyone! We wait around a while, and finally the other
bridesmaid shows up, then the minister, and finally the rest of the wedding party. We now
have about 30 minutes to get ready for the ceremony (remember, there was no rehearsal,
Janie and I had never seen the inside of this church, etc., so we both are feeling quite
lost). We very hurriedly get dressed, and enter the church so the minister can give us
instructions, which basically were to walk up the aisle, and stand on index cards with our
names on them, which had been placed on the floor. The bride gives us our bouquets, which
consist of tiny red, white and blue pillows attached to some sort of fake flower stems.
She was very proud, she'd made them herself (they were pretty hideous, but again, we said
nothing. It was after all her wedding, and things should be her way).
So, we go back to the dressing area and wait for the show to begin. This is when we are
informed that the groom forgot to bring the marriage license with him, and the minister
won't perform the ceremony and just let someone bring it to him later in the afternoon.
So, someone gets the brilliant idea that the groom and his father, neither of whom is
familiar with this town, should go back to the hotel together to pick it up. Need I even
say what happened next? Of course, they got hopelessly lost!! Again, cell phones weren't
really around back then, so there was no phone call to the church to tell us what was
going on. The bride started getting upset, wondering if she'd been left at the altar. My
carefully styled hair, which never holds a curl, fell. Janie, a hairdresser, occupied
herself trying to make me presentable again. The guests are getting restless and
grumbling, many making comments about just leaving and going home. Finally, well over an
HOUR later, they show back up at the church. Finally, the three o'clock ceremony starts at
around 4:30, 4:45 PM.
We finally get through it, they are married and we are all relieved and ready for the
reception. I was getting worried about the time, because Dad and I still had to make the 3
hour drive back home so we can go to work the next day. But, I still wanted to stick
around for part of the reception, anyway, which was being held in the church basement.
Again, we wait while the photographer (an amateur, some relative who offered to do to
save them money) takes all of his pictures of the wedding party. This takes wayyyy too
long, thanks to his lack of experience taking professional quality photos. The guests are
all waiting in the basement, hungry and getting grumpier at the inordinate delay. It's
almost seven PM before the reception gets started! Because of my time constraints, I had
to leave almost immediately after the photographer finished with us. It was just as well,
anyway. When I went down to the basement to peek in on the reception before I left, I
found that there were no chairs, no music, no food (except for the wedding cake) and it
was crowded---the room was much too small for this group. By the time it was all said and
done, I was more than happy to leave!
The kicker was that a few weeks later, when Tina came to town for my wedding, she
confided to me that she didn't really love Kyle, but she was 25 and wanted kids, and got
along with him well enough, so she decided to marry him. They are still married, but it's
a horrible mess. They openly hate each other, but are staying together for the sakes of
their two sons (turns out she was pregnant when they got married, but didn't find out
until about two weeks later). He turned out to be a useless bum who is unemployed more
than he is employed (they both left the Army shortly after they married), insists the kids
be put in day care even when he's home because he "can't handle them," and has
cheated on her (which she fully knows--she's the one who caught him). Now he is being
investigated, because police believe he's been downloading child pornography from the
internet. But, nope, she won't leave him. Why? In her words, "I know he's a bad
person, a bad husband and a bad parent, but it's just hard to break up a family." I
finally had to end my friendship with her because she complained non-stop about how
horrible her life is, but flatly refused to do anything to change it (and she had ample
opportunities, since her mother married a millionaire several years ago, who was willing
to pay for everything--housing, child care, lawyers fees and for Tina to go back to school
to train for a better job.).
About a year ago the friend whom I considered my surrogate sister announced her
engagement to the young man whom she had been secretly living with behind her parents
back. Less than six months later her parents, never ones for formality, told her that it
would best suit them if she got married within the next few weeks. Her parents wanted her
to elope, however the groom's parents who interjected and said that they would like a
ceremony, however small, so that they may attend the marriage of their only child.
Before I continue I should mention that the couple had originally intended to hold the
wedding two years after the initial engagement. The bride decided that the wedding would
be the two weeks from the following Monday. The grooms father, whod been the first
to insist on attending the wedding, and his sister offered to pay for the ceremony itself
as it would probably cost no more than $2000. The bride continued to pester her future
Father and aunt in law changing the wedding arrangements on a basis that varied between
daily and hourly. The two proposed benefactors were beginning to tire of this
indecisiveness. The chapel would not be available until several days after the date that
the bride had decided the wedding should take place on. The wedding was held back exactly
During all of this time the bride had been complaining to the groom's mother and
stepfather. Saying that the groom's father and aunt were trying to control the wedding
make it their own. Finally the groom's stepfather paid them a visit at the apartment they
shared. He stated that he and the grooms mother would pay for the ceremony if it
were to take place at a little chapel in town. The couple and I went to look at the chapel
and they decided have the ceremony there. During this whole time the bride's parents had
not only been pressuring them to elope while everyone thought that they were going to hold
a ceremony but they were the ones telling her that the groom's family was taking advantage
Over the next two weeks the groom's mother and step father paid for the wedding dress,
the ceremony, the cake, the garters, most of the reception, the photographer, and planned
to provide an after party to follow the reception. In addition to this they were giving
the couple a rental property that was currently vacant for no charge. Three days before
the wedding the bride approached her future mother and step father in law informing them
that they had made the ceremony their own and that if they were doing this to her now they
would do it to her once they were married and she would not stand to be treated that way.
Afterward that night I attended dinner at the couples apartment where she recounted
her story to me for the hundredth time since her parents told her she needed to elope.
When she excused herself to the powder room, I asked the groom of his take of the
situation. He stated that he didnt care what she did. That his parents would get
The night before the wedding the bride informed her parents of the arrangements for the
next day. Her father became angered because of her "letting people manipulate
her" and spouted off hateful things and told her that her life was a mistake and that
he wanted nothing to do with his spineless daughter.
Finally the day of the ceremony arrived. I was the only friend of the couple invited
because the bride stated that while she was inviting me, who she considered her best
friend that his best friend would best be not invited because she was too
"Trashy" I am male and that fact never bothered him, however his best friend
being female had just been the cause of an argument several weeks before.
The groom took no best man, though the bride took her sister as maid of honor. Her
father refused to attend his "weak" daughters wedding and her brother handed her
off. Immediately after the vows she once again began complaining about everything going
on. She complained about the photographer for weeks and still complains when she looks at
her wedding album.
At the reception her complaints were largely about the cake, made specifically to her
specifications the three-tier monstrosity consisted of one tier chocolate with chocolate
icing, one tier yellow with white icing and the top tier marble with chocolate icing and
white decoration. Suddenly this cake not satisfactory and the fact that she did not do all
of the cutting sent her into fits of rage.
After the reception we adjourned to the groom's mother's home where the bride quickly
Three days later when discussing the ceremony the bride said to me about her new mother
and stepfather in law. " You know they never even gave me a wedding present."
After a petty argument started by the bride three months later I decided that perhaps
she was better off as someone Id known than as someone I know.
"Audrey" misunderstood the meaning of the term "save the date"
cards, interpreting them as second-person plural imperative case. As in, she believed that
everyone who received a save-the-date card is required to accept the invitation.
When we received ours, we mentioned how happy we were for them, but that we couldn't
afford to go to their destination wedding. Audrey was appalled that we didn't understand
that she wasn't inviting us. She meant, "You will save the date on your
calendar for me."
She then approached her parents and demanded that they pay for our airfare and the
all-inclusive resort. Normally, if someone offered to pay for us to have an all-expenses
paid vacation, we would have been thrilled. However, this was not her motivation. She was
infuriated that anyone might try to bow out of her "court" for the weekend. She
had been planning on her Queen-for-a-week (not day, week) fantasy for so many years, that
she wasn't about to let anyone out. It wasn't that we are such close friends with her
either; we see her maybe twice a year. My husband insisted that we accept her invitation,
because the groom had been his best friend in high school. Turns out, most of the guests
at the wedding only see her rarely, too. Her "court" consisted of a few old
school friends (including my husband,) some of whom she hadn't seen in years, and a few
Of course, she pouted the whole week, because the most expensive resort on the island
"just sucks." She called all her relatives @%%*^#es, repeatedly, that's right -
the ones who paid for the wedding. Apparently, they weren't deferential enough to Her
Week. She rolled her eyes during the ceremony when the minister mispronounced her name (he
spoke broken English; it's HIS country she went chose) and made the facial expression
usually accompanying the word "Whatever!" (raised eyebrows, tensed lips, tilted
chin) during the religious ceremony. She hadn't bothered to find out the state religion or
language of the beautiful, tropical island paradise where the resort was located; she'd
just ordered the "wedding package" from the resort. She had told everyone that
it was a quickie JP ceremony, "without all that religious crap." In fact, she
made it a point to state that repeatedly in front of my husband and me, who had a long,
She was happy about her gifts, though. She had registered at only the luxury department
stores, with the lowest priced item at $100 US. For her thirty guests, she had registered
at three stores, with multiple pages on each registry. This was in addition to the
and the business that her parents gave her as a wedding present. The best part of the
whole experience goes to her mother-in-law. As she was walking down the aisle, she
announced to all the guests, that they were finally going to be legal after living
together for ten years. Surprise! Her conservative family didn't know that, and wouldn't
have agreed to a wedding if they had.
A friend of a friend is getting married in a few months. The friend is a bridesmaid in
First of all, her fiancé is in the wedding party also along with his ex fiancé and
her old boss who is a complete b****. . The bride wanted my fi to walk down the aisle with
his ex fiancé because my friend wasn't important enough in the friendship line to walk
down with him. Yes, she actually told my friend that. He told her that he really did not
want to walk down with her, and she said "Oh well, it's my day deal with it."
Then she is very adamant about not having kids at the wedding!! In her invitation, she
had on her reply card "adult reception only" and on the inside envelope she
included the names of people who are invited. People understand what that means. She also
included a little typed-written note in her invitation that said:
"Due to lack of seating in the church and reception we ask that only the preferred
people on the invitation come to the wedding. This is a formal affair and a tie is
required and no children please."
Not only that, she is pretyping her guest book with people that RSVP. When you come
into the church, you have to "check in" if you are not on the list or improperly
dressed you will be asked to leave.
In addition, the boss wants the bridal party to shell out money for a $600.00/night
hotel room that they won't even be able to enjoy b/c the reception is ending so late..
During my junior year of college, my roommate --- a year younger, and dating a man two
years older than she was --- got engaged over the Christmas holidays. They decided on a
one-year engagement, setting the date of the wedding for a few days after Christmas the
following year. I was very excited for her, and thrilled to agree when she asked me to be
one of her bridesmaids.
Beginning in the fall semester of my senior year, I shared an apartment with three
other ladies --- my engaged roommate, and two women that we both knew casually. The next
four months were a nightmare. My friend (I'll call her Leigh) was planning her
wedding long-distance, since our college was about 1500 miles from her home. This made for
many long hours on the telephone with her mother and fiancé (I'll call him Ken) ... and
even more hours fuming and slamming doors in our apartment, because someone else
dared to use the telephone, while Leigh thought that Ken or her mother might be
trying to reach her.
Leigh was determined to wear her mother's wedding dress. While she was by no means
overweight, the dress was several sizes too small for her. Consequently, she began
(literally) starving herself immediately after we returned to school in the fall.
She went well beyond "fashionably thin" --- and that would have been her own
business, if she hadn't been so obviously resentful of anyone who was putting a morsel of
food in their mouth! When I would sit down to eat dinner, she would glare at me and
admonish me that I'd better watch what I was eating "because that bridesmaid's dress
had better fit for the wedding!" It wouldn't matter whether I was eating a few carrot
sticks or a plate of mashed potatoes, I would still ... always ... get "the
lecture," as my other roommates and I began to call it.
The ultimate goal of her wedding was this: to spend as little of her own money as
possible, while producing a wedding that appeared extravagant. Toward that end, she was
not shy about spending anyone else's money. First, she decided that the
bridesmaid's dresses had to be custom made by a seamstress in the city where she lived.
This meant that I would have to be measured for my dress several months before the wedding
while at college, and have the measurements sent to the seamstress. Because I lived almost
1000 miles from the location of the wedding, there would be no chance to have a fitting
before I had to wear the dress! In the end, the dress cost probably twice what it would
have been, had we ordered it from a bridal shop --- and wasn't extraordinary by any means.
The $50 dyed-to-match shoes, which she also had "picked out" and purchased from
1500 miles away, had such pointed toes that they should probably have been ordered a full
size larger than normal. I wore them, perched excruciatingly on a step that was less than
a foot wide. I could barely walk back down the aisle at the end of the ceremony, and my
feet hurt so badly that I ended up shoeless for the reception.
Leigh came from a family of very limited means, but her mother (through her work) had
contact with many people who were quite well off financially. Because Ken would be
receiving a sizeable inheritance after they married, Leigh decided that she would register
for only the most expensive and extravagant gifts ... reasoning, I suppose, that they
would have no trouble affording "the basics" themselves. The cost of her china,
crystal and silver patterns was obscene. As the wedding approached, Leigh had a
standing appointment to speak to her mother every Saturday morning. Her mother would stop
after work on Friday and print out copies of Leigh's registry, and they would spend the
morning discussing how many place settings and goblets had been purchased for her. If she
wanted a particular item that hadn't been purchased yet, she would direct her mother to be
sure to specifically mention it to anyone who asked about her registry.
By the time the big event arrived, I could barely stand the sight of my
"friend" and never wanted to hear another word about her wedding plans. During
my Christmas break from college, my mother and I traveled almost 1000 miles so that I
could be in the wedding. The reception was a very simple one, held in the church. The food
was prepared by friends and family. The bride and groom left early, because they planned
to get up early the next morning and open gifts before they left for their honeymoon.
Because of the expense of the participating in the wedding --- including the dress and
shoes, travel expenses, four nights in a hotel, etc. --- my parents and I bought her a
modest gift from all of us. Apparently, Leigh was quite put out that we hadn't spent more
on her present. I did receive a very perfunctory thank-you note some time later. I don't
remember exactly what the note said, but it was obvious that she had complete contempt for
our piddling gift.
When I married later that same year, Leigh and Ken did not attend the wedding (although
they were invited), nor did they send a gift. My experience with watching her become such
a greedy, obsessed bride had a very serious impact on the way that I chose to handle my
own wedding. Although I am the only daughter in my family, and my parents could have
afforded more, my mother still brags about how little we spent.
After several years, we began exchanging Christmas cards, birth announcements, etc. but
we have never seen one another or spoken again. To the best of my knowledge, Leigh and Ken
are happily married ... and I hope they have gotten good use from all of those
outrageously expensive gifts! Bridezilla0830-02
My fiancées younger daughter (age 30) was getting married. She lives in our home
town with her boyfriend of 3 years. She announced to us that her Mother told her it was
her Dad's responsibility to pay for the wedding. (We had given her a budget amount, and
she didn't like it.) We weren't allowed any decision or approval authority, although
apparently the groom's mother made a lot of the decisions. The bride's mother offered the
couple 2 $1,500 travel vouchers (from when she was bumped on a flight) to help defray
their honeymoon expenses. Three months before the wedding, they told her that they had
decided to go to a location not covered by that airline, so she needed to give them $3,000
The bride's sister (age 35) lives in the same town as the Mother (about 9 hours drive
from us) and was going to be the Maid of honor. Bride flew up two weeks before the wedding
for "pampering--- facial ,massage, trousseau shopping, etc- and informed the sister
that she could not stay in the bride's house for the wedding because "she creates too
much conflict." No problem, sister stayed with us. Wasn't invited to the bachelorette
party "we didn't think you would be interested", and was screamed at by the
bride, (in front of witnesses) and then denied she had not invited her sister. This
continued up to and including the sister dragging the bride out of the groom's hotel room,
where the B, G and several attendants were getting stoned.
The bride refused to have a father-daughter dance because the MOG didn't want to dance
in public with her son (but danced with the grandsons) and barely spoke to her sister and
Oh... the wedding coordinator, married to the BM was politely referred to as the
"Wedding Nazi" wore a peach dress with black underwear (she weighs about 300
pounds) and had a corsage... something that the step-mother didn't have. After the wedding
she assigned everyone "cleaning duties" such as vacuuming the chapel, emptying
the wastebaskets, etc (even though the bride's father had volunteered to pay for a
And when the father attempted to discuss this with his daughter three months later, she
just screamed "I'm so tired of people saying I was rude to my sister. I wasn't!"
A definite bride from hell... Bridezilla0907-02
My long time companion and I have been living together, but not married (he has full VA
coverage for a serious medical condition that he would lose if he were to marry someone
with income, his disability is classified as non-service related) for over 20 years, at
the time of his son's wedding it had been 18 years. He had been divorced from his ex-wife
His son's fiancée was the ingratiating herself type, which was obvious to me, to all the
groom's friends, to nearly everyone but the groom and his mother. Planning her wedding she
convinced the groom that it would be inconsiderate to have his brother's fiancée (a
wonderful girl who was the high school sweetheart and dearly loved by all of us) in the
wedding, since she might then feel obligated to return the favor at her wedding. Her
future SIL is not only a fantastic person, she is also stunningly beautiful, and most of
us knew the real reason was that the bride could not possibly come close to looking as
gorgeous as the second girl is naturally.
My s/o's son also has a cousin who grew up across the street from him, and is as close
as a brother to him - everyone fully expected him to be a part of that wedding. Wrong. The
excuse she gave the groom was that his extended family was too large, and that having this
one cousin included would offend others. Privately she told me it was because he had long
hair, and she did not want that in the wedding pictures she would treasure all her life.
Omitting him offended the extended family far more than including him ever could have, but
everyone kept quiet for the groom's sake. After her campaigning to exclude these two
people from her wedding party she had no choice but to give in on the groom's closest
friend, though she worried constantly that he would look "rumpled" in the
pictures, and wished there were some way to keep him out of them.
The bridesmaid's dresses were, of course, hideous, and a ghastly color. The
MOG, MOB and I
were given paint chips of colors we would be "allowed" to wear so that there
would be no clashing in the pictures.
Planning the rehearsal dinner the MOG brought up these issues with me, and told me that
she was very upset with the exclusion of two very important people in the family, and how
she felt that she was being treated like a child over the color selection deal, and I
agreed. Throughout my entire relationship with this man she had been married to and had
children with we had never had a problem with getting along, and I was glad that at least
was not going to be the hassle it is for some divorced parents with subsequent spouses of
At the wedding rehearsal the MOG states that she would feel foolish walking back down the
aisle after the ceremony alone, and would not attend the wedding if her ex, my current,
did not leave me behind and escort her. My S/O other refused to go along with this, but
this one did turn out well, since her nephew (the excluded cousin) was enlisted to sit in
the second pew, step out and take her arm at ceremony's end and escort her out of the
Comes the reception....groom's then 2 year old nephew was pointedly uninvited, bride
thought he was too young and did not want the reception disrupted (this boy was the only
grandchild on our side at the time, groom very close to him)...but her two nieces, one 6
months older, the other 6 months younger tore the place up unsupervised.
The bouquet toss....I do not consider myself a single woman, my S/O does not consider me a
single woman, his children do not consider me a single woman...his ex-wife's family, for
that matter, considers me his wife. Bride had treated me as a future MIL right up until
that ring went on her finger. Time to toss the bouquet I obviously remain seated, given my
coupled status and my age. Bride waits til there is a hush over the room, yells across the
floor for me to get up there since I am not attached. MOG looks embarrassed for me, gets
out of her seat and walks up there with me, and I was so grateful to her for this.
.....reception's end, parent's of bride, MOG, FOG and I are standing with the bride and
groom, thanking people for attending. Bride waits til she is semi circled by well wishers,
sneaks a side long glance at me, clasps her new MIL's hands and starts jumping up and
down....makes sure her audience is captive and announces "Look at us, the two Mrs.
X's....the only two in the world". MOG giggles and starts bouncing with her. That one
line undid years of consideration the MOG and I had given each other for the sake of the
kids. I know the bride was trying to make me look foolish, but I think she only succeeded
in presenting her true b****y face and making her MIL look like a pathetic 50 year old
woman who could not let go of a marriage that had been over for 25 years.
Bridal couple is divorced now, but the damage that woman did over the course of 5 years of
marriage - ingratiating herself with her MIL by constantly putting me down - has caused
tensions in the family that never existed until she became a part of it.
I was the MOH in my high school best friend's wedding. I'll call her Jill. Jill
attended a college two hours away from where we lived and that's where she met her fiancé
(whom I didn't care for). We were very good friends in high school. I would spend weekends
at her house with her and her sister and sister's husband. Her sister was a very take
charge kind of person and very demanding which was fine by me until I agreed to be in my
First the bridesmaid's dresses: Jill was having the dresses made and I had to give my
measurements for the dress. I had never seen what the dresses would look like but heard
that they were so beautiful. I couldn't wait to try my on. I arrived a little later than
the rest of the bridesmaid who had already had their dresses on. I inwardly gasped at the
hideous dresses but was informed by Jill that mine would be a little different but
certainly more beautiful. Well when the seamstress brought my dress out, I wanted to
scream. It was bright pink or magenta and had a big HUGE flower right in the middle
between my boobs. What could I do but say this is nice. Jill and her sister kept saying
how beautiful this dress was and I was dying on the inside.
The week before the wedding: I came down with strep throat the weekend before the
wedding. I was so sick I couldn't even get out of bed or even lift my head off my pillow.
I started feeling a little better by Thursday before we (my mom, my cousin, my boyfriend
and me) drove down for the wedding. I was still very sick though. We left late Friday
afternoon going to the rehearsal. The directions we had weren't good so we got lost but we
Through the rehearsal, I was coughing down the aisle which my mom thought I wasn't
going to make it at all. I assured Jill that I would be fine and just to ensure this on
the way to the rehearsal dinner we stopped at Walgreen's and got some Robitussin. Well it
was dark and I didn't know how much to take so my mom said just drink from the bottle. We
arrived at the rehearsal dinner which was held at one of the groom's relative's houses and
proceeded to sit down to eat. Mind you we hadn't had anything to eat since that morning so
we were pretty hungry. Well we get our hamburgers and chips and unsweetened Kool-Aid and
proceeded to sit down. Hey we weren't going to complain it was something right? Wrong the
burgers were completely raw in the middle. I'm not talking about medium raw, I'm talking
about MOO!!!!! Remember I said I had strep throat and had taken Robitussin for my cough.
Well I told my mom that I was not going to eat raw meat and then proceeded to pass out at
the table. It turns out that I had swallowed half the bottle of Robitussin - OOPS! So I
had to be carried by my mom and boyfriend to the car and we went back to the hotel room
after they stopped and got McDonald's.
Day of the Wedding: I slept through the night and most of the morning so when we were
getting ready, we heR this big knock on our door. It was Jill's sister asking where I was.
She informed us that I was supposed to have been up at the crack of dawn helping decorate
the hall where the reception was going to be. I have never been to a wedding where the
guests help decorate besides no one had told me that. Maybe they announced it at the MOO
dinner. Anyway my mom had to tell them that I was sick and would not be helping decorate
anything. Apparently Jill's sister was upset. I don't know how Jill was because I hadn't
talked to her. While Jill was getting dressed she didn't want any of groom's relatives to
help her or see her dress before the wedding but they insisted and there was a big
argument between Jill's sister and some of groom's relatives.
Skip forward to reception: Wedding went fine. However, apparently now Jill and her
sister were mad at me because I didn't help decorate because neither talked to me at the
reception. The hall was so small that the tables were pushed together and you could barely
sit down between them. And there was no air conditioning, no music, and not a lot of room
for anyone. I don't even remember a cake but maybe there was one. The food was cold cuts
and cheese, pickles and some cold salads courtesy of the groom's family. However, since it
was so hot in the room, the cheese had melted together so no one could eat it although the
groom's relative certainly gave it a try. They acted as if they had never eaten before and
proceeded to go through the little food that was provided. Jill and her new husband and
her sister sat at the head table but I wasn't allowed there by the looks on their faces so
I sat with my mother and cousin and boyfriend. I couldn't believe how she was acting
especially after my mother and I threw her a kick butt bridal shower and everything and I
don't even like planning parties.
The kicker was when at the end they expected me along with the other attendants to
clean up the VFW hall they had rented which I promptly said no and went back to my hotel
room (because remember I'm still sick). Jill's sister came to our room and asked for the
MOH dress back which I gladly gave her (she save it from being burned). We all laughed
because the whole thing was such a joke. It was the tackiest wedding I've ever been in.
Needless to say I haven't talked to her since and that's been over 10 years now. Besides I
didn't like her fiancé and told her not to marry him since he had cheated on her before
they got married. I don't know if they're divorced or what and frankly I don't care.
My friend from high school was not really the nicest person, but I put up with it
because it was a small high school and there weren't many alternatives. She'd had her
groom picked out since she was a freshmen. She always said I'd be her Maid of Honor.
As we went to college, I grew away from her and would not have been upset to just send
a gift. But she was as good as her word -- I was suddenly thrust into a hell of dress
fittings, spending my hard earned cash for a dress I'd never wear. I never wore dresses. I
was up there with all sorts of pretty girly girls and was more comfortable in my doc
martens. I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't really a girl
because I couldn't put on hose without snagging them. But then the shower came along. I
forked over more cash. I was the maid of honor, right? The shower was painful and I felt
obviously single, and, at the time, I had no desire to ever be married. This was a cause
for concern among the guests, who thought whatever I had might be catching.
The day of the dress rehearsal dawned. I looked at the dresses. Blue,
My dress was blue. I was a bridesmaid!!! No one told me this while I forked over the cash
for the shower. There were other insults throughout the next two days and I have never
regretted the fact that I haven't seen her much after that. There is no way I'd have her
at my upcoming wedding, but I secretly want to punish her for how she treated me by
dressing her in something she'd never wear again and make her suffer through hysterical
parties with penis shaped cakes. Yet, I am resisting the urge. No one will know about my
wedding until it's over. I may have decided to take the plunge, but I learned how
self-centered and stupid all this wedding crap can be. I'm hitting Vegas!
I am not sure where this should be categorized, but my sister's wedding is becoming a
hellish experience. It involves my family's intense and irrational dislike of my
boyfriend. I suspected they didn't care for him, but now they have made it clear with
their passive-aggressive behavior.
My sister is getting married in the fall of 2002. She invited me and my boyfriend. Even
though it was short notice (she announced wedding in late July), both my boyfriend and I
found the necessary vacation days to attend her wedding. Of course, the days were 'found'
by canceling other plans we had made. Boyfriend and I were looking forward to going. Then
things went down hill.
I made reservations at a B&B about 30 minutes from sister's home. Being the
expected to be at sister's house on morning of wedding to help her dress, calm nerves, et
al. Boyfriend intended on finding something to do during the morning hours. What surprised
me was my sister intended for me to dress elsewhere, claiming lack of space and started to
complain about there not being enough time for me to go from the salon to the B&B and
back to her house, then the church. She wanted me to cancel my B&B and get a room
around her home. Also, it was made perfectly clear to me by my father that boyfriend was
not to be 'hanging around sister's house before the wedding.'
After having a discussion with boyfriend about the above, he decided he wanted no part
of the wedding and his place of employment willing took back the vacation days. After I
informed sister of boyfriends altered plans, I was invited to stay at sister's house for
entire length of my stay. There was nothing mentioned about lack of space in the house to
get dressed. I have considered not going to the wedding, but I won't ruin another person's
day, even if they deserve it.
All I can say is after this hellish experience is over, I will be spending as little
time with my family as possible. Bridezilla1003-02
My cousin, who is about 6 years younger than me, was married in the fall of 1999. I
gracefully accepted her request to be a bridesmaid. In the months before the wedding, I
drove to where she lives, about 4 hours away, for dress fittings, showers, etc. During
this time I found out from my mom that my aunt ( the bride's mother) was very upset as her
daughter was demanding a $5,000 dress that the family could not afford. My uncle was
unemployed, and my aunt could not afford this expense on her salary. The bride-to-be took
her father to look at the dress, and he promptly paid for the dress on a credit card that
he did not pay for. My aunt was livid, and ended up having to take out a loan to pay for
the rest of the wedding expenses.
In my cousin's credit, she was smart in picking out a classic pattern and material for
a bridesmaids dresses, which she paid for. We were only responsible for paying for the
seamstress and our shoes. On one of my trips down to help out with the planning, my cousin
asked me to help her pick out shoes for the bridesmaids. I knew that the MOH and the only
other bridesmaid were in school and could not afford expensive shoes. The first store we
went to was a pricey store, where I reluctantly agreed on a pair of $60 shoes (plus dyeing
fees) that my cousin picked out. We went to the mall afterwards for some lunch, and I
suggested we see what the shoe stores there had. I found a pair of shoes very similar to
the ones picked out at the other store, and noticed that they were half the price of the
other pair, including the dyeing. My cousin immediately blew off my suggestion to order
from the cheaper store, her attitude being that the other store must be better, since they
charged more. I did not argue with her, as it was her wedding. The shoes, subsequently,
ended up costing more than the bridesmaid dress.
The day before the wedding, I opted not to drive and grabbed a ride with my parents.
The rehearsal and dinner went smoothly, until we were about to leave. My cousin had stated
that she wanted to go out and drink. One of the bridesmaids was not drinking age, but
really wanted to hang out with us. I suggested we do something that she would be able to
participate in. We decided to go to the store first, as I needed to pick up pantyhose and
some other things for the wedding, and we would decide from there what we would do for the
rest of the evening.
On the way out of the rehearsal dinner, my aunt pulled me aside and told me I was
responsible for her daughter and to make sure she did not drink. I told my aunt I would do
what I could, but that her daughter was of age and hard-headed and that I would not be
responsible for her actions.
My cousin drove us to the store, where I was going to quickly pick out what I needed.
Instead, my cousin devised a plan to go to the bowling alley where the groom and his
attendants and friends were (one of whom was my older brother), and trash their cars. She
and the other attendants had already picked out the toilet paper and other supplies for
the prank, and in their haste to get out of the store and on to the bowling alley, I
forgot to get the pantyhose. I was too busy trying to talk her out of the prank and into
going somewhere else.
Long story short, I sat in the car as my cousin and her MOH and other bridesmaid placed
toilet paper, shaving cream, and maxi pads on the guys' cars. Someone in the parking lot
let the guys in the bowling alley know what was going on, and they came outside. One of
the guys had just purchased his car, a brand new red sportscar, and the shaving cream had
damaged his paint. He was furious, as was the groom-to-be. My brother was upset as well,
and told me I needed to get my cousin out of there. My cousin insisted on staying and
arguing with her fiancé, who was trying to calm her down in spite of his anger.
We finally left, and my cousin, deciding that she wanted to go to a bar, dropped the
younger bridesmaid off where her parents were staying, much to the bridesmaid's
disappointment. I tried to be the voice of reason and suggested we not go out drinking
(don't get me wrong here- I love to party, but I knew how my cousin could get), so we went
to a TGIF's instead, where my cousin threw down shots and the MOH and I sipped on a glass
I eventually drove us back to my cousin's house where we were staying. Her parents were
asleep, thankfully. On my way to bed, I told my cousin that I would need to go by the
store on the way to get our hair done in the morning to get the pantyhose I had forgotten,
to which she had a rude and over-the top response to. I just ignored her and went to bed.
I did get my pantyhose the next morning.
My cousin had a horrible attitude the whole day of the wedding, making snide comments
and upsetting those around her. I finally spoke up and said I understood it was
"her" day, but she needed to be nice to those around her, which she just
We arrived at the church and the MOH, the other bridesmaid and myself got ready in the
church bathroom adjacent to the bride's dressing room. The MOH and bridesmaid complained
to me about my cousin's behavior, one of them almost in tears. I finished getting ready
and went to the bride's room to fix my 6-year-old niece's (flower girl) hair. My cousin
was still ranting and complaining about anything she could find, when her flowers arrived.
Instead of the leaves being gold-edged, they were completely dipped in gold, which still
looked very pretty. Nonetheless, my cousin flew into a fit as we tried to pick the gold
off the leaves as her mother made a frantic phone call to the florist. In the midst of
this chaos, my niece threw up her hands and stated to everyone in the room, "This
wedding is completely ruined" (she really didn't like finding someone who was more of
a drama queen than herself :-)) and stomped out of the room.
My cousin, of course, went into a fit as to why my niece said this. I had to bite my
lip from laughing, and gently corrected my niece that although I thought it funny, my
cousin didn't (yeah, I know I probably shouldn't have said it was funny), and my niece
apologized to my cousin, who really didn't notice because she had gone back to griping
about the flowers and yelling at her mom.
The ceremony went smoothly, although by this time, as sentimental as I can be, I could
not muster up a happy emotion, much less a tear. I just stood and smiled.
The reception was fun, I put my cousin's attitude behind me and socialized with family
and friends. When the time for the best man's and MOH's toast came, the MOH pulled me
aside and asked if I would give the toast instead, as she was still very upset by my
cousin's behavior. I couldn't talk her into doing it, so I agreed to do the toast.
Probably not a good idea, as I had been through a couple of glasses of champagne and was
feeling brave. I "sentimentally" told the story of when I first met my cousin
when she was a baby, and how she had peed on me, which drew laughs from the crowd. It was
a bad thing for me to do, but the crowd saw it as a nostalgic story, though very few knew
it was personally my way of putting my cousin in her place somehow. I did follow up the
story with a sweet story and congratulations to the happy couple, blah blah blah, and I
believe my cousin *actually* thanked me for the kind toast before she and her new hubby
made their grand exit from the ceremony. Bridezilla1011-02
I am the eldest of 13 cousins on my mums side and 5 of us are girls we are
all very close having spent all of our childhood in and out of each others homes . Being
the eldest I was the first to marry and naturally chose all four of my female cousins as
bridesmaids(I have no sisters) and my male cousins and brother as ushers and groomsmen.
The second eldest married a couple of years later and the same was done again I was MOH
and the others fell in ranked by age behind me.
When the time came a couple of years after that for the next in
age to marry(we are nothing if not orderly) we all assumed that again we would be
bridesmaids etc and one afternoon on a family beach picnic the subject of the impending
nuptials naturally came up and we all became a little excitable and interested in dress
styles and colors etc when the BTB announced loudly and sneeringly that my other married
cousin and I were not to be a part of the bridal party as she wanted no old married fat
girls in her wedding photos !!!!!! Well my cousin and I were really upset and I am ashamed
to admit was reduced to tears I may be married and a whole 5 years older and yes I will
admit to a few extra kilos but I am also the mother of two ( that's my excuse and I am
sticking to it) .
Anyway the wedding day drew nearer
and out of (I hope) some sense of guilt my cousin asked us to give a reading at the
ceremony which we agreed to. On the day itself we arrived at the church and waited for our
15 minutes of fame but it never came we were both gobsmacked to say the least as we had
been rehearsing etc for weeks. Arriving at the reception which was held in a very grand
villa overlooking a gorgeous beach we watched as every member of the family was grouped
into their individual families and lined up for the photo call guess who was accidentally
forgotten in the confusion? By this time we were really really upset and just wanted to
get it all over with and go home so we went in to the dining room for the formal sit down
dinner and lo and behold our table was the last one at the back of the room right next to
the mens loos (Australian slang
for 'bathroom"). We still talk
about that day and console ourselves with the fact that even after all her meticulous
planning and attention to detail( even ensuring her bridesmaids were the right size , age
and shape) it rained hard all day and her photos are poor quality and very few. ( By the
way we live in Melbourne Australia so I guess that just proves that Bridezillas are
universal) thanks for listening !!! Bridezilla1012-02
When I was in college my boyfriend (who is now my husband) and I were invited to his
best friend's wedding. Since his best friend had graduated and moved far away before we
started dating, I had only met his friend a few times and his fiancée once. We had to
travel by car (too poor for a plane ticket) about 1000 miles to attend the wedding, but it
was spring break and we were excited to be in a touristy beach town with lots of friends
for the wedding. When we arrived, the bride told me that none of her friends had been able
to come, and she asked me if I would be her maid of honor. I thought this a bit strange,
since we had only met once, but I agreed.
Here are some of the fun things I endured: She showed me dozens of naked picture of
herself that a previous boyfriend had taken. She asked me help her make the bouquets and
cake, and complained and criticized me (and then made fun of me to everyone later) for not
being able to arrange flowers or make icing decorations very well. She asked me to take
her out for a bachelorette night, so the two of us went to a bar, she picked up a guy, we
went back to his house, and I sat in the living room and watched them get high and talk
about how terrible it was that she was getting married the next day since they obviously
had such a connection.
The day of her wedding she had me run her bath water, paint her toenails, bring her
water and snacks (even though we were in her apartment about 10 feet away from the
kitchen), and basically fawn over her for two hours while my boyfriend, her husband to be,
and our other friends were frolicking at the beach (yes, my boyfriend got an earful about
that later). She then told me that she had always been attracted to my boyfriend and would
have gone for him is she hadn't already hooked up with her husband to be. There were lots
of other highlights, but I think you get the picture. Of course, we ended up living in the
same city with this couple, and I endured several years of this kind of behavior from her.
Thankfully they are divorced now, and my husband's best friend is now dating a normal
Thankfully, I'm not married to him anymore. But about one and a half
months before the wedding I asked had he made all the arrangements for the honeymoon.
"oh, I decided we aren't going, it's too far away, why don't you make reservations at
a b&b nearby" Stupidly I did so. Should have taken it as a sign
Then, at the rehearsal dinner (shoddy to
say the least), I handed out my gifts to my b-maids and told them all how much I
appreciated them being a part of this day. Then the groom stood up, "Thanks, I'll
bring you the gift tomorrow" then took me aside to be angry at me that I hadn't told
him that he was supposed to get them gifts. Before the wedding, he handed out CD's that he
bought that morning. It only gets worse.
Though not his fault, his parents
are so late to the reception that the entire wedding party waits almost thirty minutes to
be introduced. Never apologized. Then an hour after that, I find I'm cutting the cake. My
mom and I had talked before the wedding and said that after that I was to go change into
my going away outfit, so I thought it was much later. I come down from changing and it's
at least one hour before the reception was supposed to end. My mom looked upset but I
figured it was a little girl thing. So I danced around...and then we left at the right
time. Later, after I divorced the jerk, I find out from my mom that the groom was
wandering around, got bored and told the DJ to cut the cake so he could get out of there.
Well I couldn't wait to get out of the marriage! Bridezilla1015-02