|Looking for that perfect bridal shower gift? Every
bride needs a commonsense guide to the etiquette that really
matters. Let Wedding Etiquette Hell: A Bride's
Bible for Avoiding Everlasting Damnation by Jeanne
Hamilton be your guide.
Jul-Dec 2000 Archives
I wish I had seen your site prior to my sister's wedding. My sister
"Lynn" got engaged last Christmas, right after I did, and promptly picked a date
without even considering if I had done so already. I am the oldest.
She picked a bridal party that consisted of some family and this really weird
girl "Sylvia" whom Lynn had known only about 6 months. Don't ask me, I have no
idea why. Lynn instantly turned into the Antichrist bride. Demanding people do every
single thing for her. I was in school 2 nights a week and all day Saturday and working
full time. Her fiance also in school was not held accountable for anything.
Lynn decided to drag out the entire bridal party every Saturday dress shopping. She
hated everything, threw fits of anger in the stores. Wanting the ugliest of dresses and
the most premium of prices.Couldn't make up her mind what color or style. Wasted one
shopkeeper's time by promising to return if the shop opened up for her the next day, which
was Sunday, a day they were normally closed. The shop agreed. Need I tell you that Lynn
had no intention of returning?
I was supposedly the MOH. She never asked, I heard from my mother that is what she
wanted. Lynn fought everyone on everything from favours to food. Nothing was good enough.
She allowed herself 10 months planning time and then decided it was my fault that things
were not done. According to her, I didn't do my job. According to her, my medical
schooling was a convenient excuse to get out of responsibilities to get the dresses,
manage the favors, flowers etc. I never saw that in any wedding planner.
I think I was thrown out of the wedding party a good 6 times. But, it never officially
happened. I went through with everything I could, never said a word. But everyone knows
just how much of a true bridezilla she really was.
This is a long and truly unbelievable story. A few years ago, I
was asked to be in my ex-boyfriend's sister's wedding. I'll call her "Jessica."
Having moved out of state the year previous, she lived 400 miles away from
her closest bridesmaid.
Jessica decided in December that she wanted a wedding in June. So, we four bridesmaids
got measurements taken and forwarded the information to her, as well as our shoe sizes,
Due to our jobs, four of the five bridesmaids (her sister, the MOH, had flown in from
Alaska three days before) weren't able to get to town until around 5:00 on Friday
evening. The wedding was Saturday morning. We were told that once we got into own, we were
to go straight to the bridal shop and try on our dresses for any last minute alterations.
The shop closed at 5:00pm, but Jessica assured us that they told her as long as she called
and let them know we were coming, they would stay open late. So we drove across two states
at breakneck pace to get to the shop on time, only to get there at 5:15 and see a
"Closed" sign in the window.
We drove to the MOB's house and met her sister there. She proceeded to call
Jessica and let her know what had happened, only to have the phone slammed in her ear.
Fifteen minutes later, Jessica pulled up in front of the house and got into a screaming
match with her sister in the front yard...even going so far as to shove her!...telling her
how she was "ruining" her wedding. It turns out that Jessica had gone to get her
nails done and "forgotten" to call the dress shop.
She also told "Megan" (the MOH) that she would have to drive to the mall and
pick up Megan's husband's tuxedo the next morning. Jessica had volunteered to do it while
she was there, but hadn't wanted to ruin her nails. We also found out that the MOB and her
boyfriend would not be attending the wedding, because they didn't like the groom...for
good reason. It turns out he had threatened to kill Jessica's mother after a disagreement
they had earlier. "I know where you sleep." Nice guy.
First thing Saturday morning we went to the dress shop to pick up our gowns. Not a
single one fit. It seems Jessica confused some of our measurements. Fortunately,
most of the bridesmaids were able to switch around and find one that wasn't too tight or
falling off. However, I'm large chested and the biggest dress wouldn't zip by about four
inches. I ended up paying an additional $45 for them to put someone's hem into the back of
my dress, when I had given the correct measurements in the first place.
We also found out that she had never ordered our dyable shoes, because she didn't want
to pay the cash up front. She still, however, insisted we have "seafoam" shoes
to match the dresses. We spent much of the wedding morning scouring 500 shoe stores for
seafoam shoes. We finally ended up going to Michael's crafts, buying spray paint for
flowers and fabrics, and spray painting our shoes.
Finally we drove to the reception hall to decorate. We had about 5,000 balloons,
streamers, twinkle lights...you name it, we had it. About an hour into decorating, someone
wondered aloud where Jessica was. Two hours into decorating, and still no Jessica.
We spent almost three hours decorating the hall, and she never showed up. It turns out
that while her attendants and family were running errands (which she had forgotten or
refused to do) and decorating in the sweltering heat, Jessica had rented an air
conditioned hotel room to watch TV so that her "makeup and hair would be just
During the reception, I heard a guest tell Jessica how beautiful the hall looked. She
took all the credit for decorating! I couldn't wait for the reception to end.
Last year, I received an invitation to my cousin's wedding. We aren't close, and never
have been, but we are family, so I r.s.v.p.'d that I was coming along with my date. I
spoke with my sister several days later, and found out that she had been asked to do a
reading in the ceremony. She was somewhat surprised, but told my cousin that she would be
happy to do it-- except that she wasn't able to attend the wedding because of work
Time passed... until it was the day of the wedding. I called to tell my parents that I
was on my way home. My father told me to drive safely, etc., and then just happened to
mention that my grandmother had dropped off _my_ reading at the house. I almost dropped
the phone! I had no reading--my sister had been asked and was not able to do it, but that
was the last I had ever heard of the reading. My cousin had never asked me, told me, or
even mentioned the reading to me. In fact, we hadn't spoken in months.
I arrived home, got ready, picked up my reading (figuring that I had no other choice),
and we headed off to the church. There was only one small problem-- there had been no
rehearsal, there was no program, and-- although my whole family knew that I was the first
reading, none of us knew when the first reading was! So, the priest had us all sit down,
and after a minute, I realized that it was time for me to read. I did, and the rest of the
wedding proceeded without incident.
At the reception, my cousin then had the nerve to come over and "apologize,"
saying that she figured that since my sister couldn't read, she would have told me to do
it. It's a shame that my sister didn't realize that, since she was unable to do the
reading, it was her job to find a substitute reader!
And, to top it all off, I never received a thank you card for either the gift or for
doing the reading. I guess it wasn't really surprising. ezilla0808-00
One of my best friends, let's call her Ellen, had a brother who
was getting married. As a side business, Ellen videotaped weddings. Ellen was going
to be a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding so she couldn't videotape it. Since I
had some experience with video and I knew Ellen's brother and future wife, Ellen asked if
I would mind videotaping and I agreed. What I didn't know was that Ellen and her future
sister-in law, let's call her Tracy, didn't agree that a videotape should be made. Tracy
really didn't want one, but Ellen thought it would be a huge mistake not to make one.
Tracy knew I was at the wedding to videotape and didn't say anything about it to me on
the wedding day. It was the most gorgeous day ever and Tracy and Ellen's brother had
rented a beautiful horse-drawn carriage to bring them to the church. It was truly a
perfect day and I stood on the corner trying to capture the moment. As the carriage turned
the corner, I heard Tracy yelling at the top of her voice "Turn off that #%$&
videotape. I mean now. TURN it off!"
At the reception, Tracy berated her husband for drinking too much, even though all he
had imbibed was one glass of champagne. As I was helping clean up after the reception
because no one else stuck around, Tracy took me aside and told me it was wrong what I did
and I should've know better.
Happily for Ellen's brother, he divorced Tracy two years later.
I lived in the same town as the bride and been friends with her for nine years before
she began treating me like dirt, refusing to talk to me or to include me in
her social life. She told me that the reason for her actions was that she was
jealous of my success. She continued to treat me that way until she needed a
maid of honor for her upcoming wedding. When I asked her why she wanted ME, she
replied, "Because I don't have anyone else."
I thought the maid of honor was supposed to be someone you really cared
about. I consented to being in her wedding because I felt sorry for
her. Instead of a thank you for my participation, I was treated as
if participating was my duty because of my Christian faith. What nerve and
A few years ago my best friend Molly came to me with the shocking news that she was
getting married. I say shocking because she had not even been dating anyone the last
time we had spoken (only a week or two before). It turned out that the mystery man
was a guy she had met at college through her part-time job. They had been friends
for a year or so, and had all of a sudden decided to get married because they realized
that they were attracted to each other. To top it off, she informs me that the
wedding is in May, only one month away! I was pretty surprised and just had to ask
why they were getting married so quickly. She looked at me and said, "Because
we are horny and just don't want to wait any longer than a month." My chin hit
Well, a few days later, Molly begins telling me about the bridesmaid dresses, and tells
me where to look for them. I felt a little confused because she had never asked me
to be in the wedding. I told her that I really did not know if I could afford to be
in the wedding, because I had just changed jobs. She was sympathetic and offered to
help pay for the dress and shoes. I explained that I really couldn't. She
insisted, quite angrily that I WOULD be a part of her wedding day. I finally had to
I was asked to come with her on various errands, searching for a bridal gown, buying
favors for the reception. It was a horrible experience! Everywhere we went,
Molly insisted on telling people why she was getting married so quickly, and went into
major details about what she and William, her fiancé, were ready to try. She also
would tell total strangers that William had insisted that she wear thong panties all of
the time once they were married, or none at all if she was wearing a dress/skirt. I
was mortified and embarrassed to have to stand there and listen to her talk like that to
people I knew, and even people I didn't know!
To be a good friend, in addition to helping out with the wedding planning, I decided to
throw Molly a bridal shower. I asked her what type of shower and asked for a guest
list. I worked with my roommate planning, got nice invitations printed, bought lots
of food, and a nice gift for the couple. I did all of this in about two weeks time,
since that would only allow one week before the wedding. Two days before the shower,
Molly calls and explains that a friend of her mother's has passed away and that she
will have to cancel the shower so that they can drive to New York. I was very
understanding and spent several hours calling guests to explain that an emergency had
arisen and that the shower was cancelled. Imagine my surprise and anger when, on the
day that the shower was supposed to be given, I run into Molly at the mall, shopping with
her mother! She did not even bother trying to give a good explanation, she just
said that they decided not to make the long drive!
Although I was angry, I just smiled and reminded myself that this whole ordeal would be
over in just a few days. The wedding day came, and I showed up early to help
out. I helped Molly with her hair and makeup, then got ready myself before helping
her get dressed. She kept talking about how she couldn't wait to have sex with
William! And her mom was sitting right in the room with us! Some of the other
bridesmaids were giggling, including her junior bridesmaid--only 8 years old and having to
hear explicit sex talk! Finally it was time for the wedding to begin. The
ceremony went off without a hitch, until the big kiss. It was disgusting
really. William grabbed Molly tightly and French kissed her for what felt like 5
minutes! All the while he is grabbing her rear end! Then, if that was not bad
enough--once the kiss was over, she turned to the whole church and said, "WOW!"
The reception was pretty uneventful, except for more groping and sex talk, a
strange cake cutting involving some licking, and finally the couple took off for
their honeymoon in the Pocono's. I honestly was very happy to see them gone.
Several weeks after the honeymoon was over, I got a phone call from Molly requesting pay
back for the dress that she bought. I was happy to pay her, as I now had the
money--but she was asking for more money than the dress and shoes cost!!!!! I tried
to argue with her, but she insisted that she had spent $200, when I knew that everything
had only cost $130! I had the receipt for the dress and shoes because she and I had
gone together to purchase it! Needless to say, I sent her a check for $130, only to
receive it back in the mail with a note explaining that I was $70 short. I just tore
up the check and did not bother contacting her again. She has called a few times,
but never mentioned the money again. One funny thing, after getting back from the
honeymoon--she told me that the sex ended up being not so great--it was just sort of
poetic that her main reason for getting married backfired. ezilla1006-00
I have a sister-in-law from hell that I got a good glimpse of three months before my
husband and I were to marry. As it happened, his sister was to get married three
months before us. She had a lovely outdoor wedding in an historic hotel with a
Victorian theme. My husband's oldest brother was the only married child in his
family at that time, so he and his wife were there with their child.
After the wedding, several guests went out to the oldest brother's van to listen to a
college football game, which lead the demonic wife to go crazy. She promptly fled to
the van and told everyone to get out and go away. She was yelling at the time and
proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon out in the van sulking.
Three months later when my husband and I were to be married, with both of his brothers
to serve as his attendants, this same lovely woman called to inform us that they would be
unable to attend the wedding, and thus, the brother would not be an attendant as
planned. His own brother! I felt sorry for my husband who had to ask another
friend to serve so we would have an even number. This happened after everything had
been printed with the wedding party's names! She continues this same pattern of
making life miserable for the entire family, only with no weddings to ruin now, she
prefers to pass this on to her nieces and nephews by asking us to keep them away from hers
when they visit the grandparents. We live on a farm and my children are accustomed
to visiting with them on a daily basis, but when her precious jewels are in town, we must
not allow them to be in their presence. The joys of sister-in-laws!
As a postscript, years later when the subject of weddings came up, this same demonic
sister-in-law and my husband's sister were remembering the sister's wedding, to which the
sister-in-law cried, "Your wedding.....well, your wedding was horrible!"
My husband's witty sister replied, "You are mistaken....my wedding was not
horrible....you were horrible at my wedding!" A truer statement was never made.
A friend of mine, Laura, from high school was
getting married and she was having trouble finding somewhere to have her reception after
her first choice had a fire and was closed. Because I worked at a country club, I
offered to find out if we had any open weekends. I was very clear to explain that even if
there were any, she would have to ask someone who was a member to sponsor her (i.e. agree
to be responsible if she didn't pay). We even discussed the fact that we knew several of
families who were members and Laura even mentioned one that she was planning to ask. The
next day I called her with dates that would work and told her I would mail out a copy of
the catering menu but that she still had to find a sponsor within one month of reserving
the club. She said this wasn't a problem.
Time passes and I noticed that Laura had meetings scheduled with the catering
director (I was a part time assistant so I didn't actually conduct meetings). I thought it
was odd that Laura hadn't mentioned to me that she had decided to go with our club, but I
figured she thought I had assumed she would. Weeks pass and I heard nothing from her.
About two months before the wedding, the catering director asked me to call a
bride and find out who her sponsor was going to be. I almost died...it was Laura! I called
her and she burst in to tears on me... claiming she thought *I* was going to take care of
that for her because I worked there. She went on and on about how now she was going to
have to cancel her wedding and what was she going to do. I apologized for the
misunderstanding (I hate hearing anyone cry), and offered to speak to one of the members I
was friendly with about being her sponsor. I know, I was a sucker. Anyway, Laura hangs up
very relieved and I spend the rest of the day on the phone trying to work this out for
her. I finally get someone to do it, as a personal favor for me. I left a message for
Laura with her mother telling her it was all set.
Several months pass and I don't hear a thing from Laura and she doesn't return
my calls. Eventually the month of her wedding approaches and I still have heard nothing. I
know she had been in contact with the catering director, but Laura's appointments were
always when I was off for the day or when I was busy with another event and out of the
office. A week before the wedding my boss, the catering director, gives me that night off.
I hadn't been invited to the wedding (this miffed me a bit but after planning lots of
wedding it is hard to get excited about going to them) but I didn't want to embarrass my
boss because I *thought* she was making sure I was free to go.
Anyway, the very next monday I came in to work and hear how wonderful the
wedding was from everyone at the club. I asked my boss what she thought and she let out a
big sigh and started rambling on about how she was glad it was finally over because she
was tired of keeping me and the bride-to-be apart. I was stunned and asked for an
explanation. She then told me everything Laura had told her, that she and I (Laura) didn't
get along and how we hated each other. Laura told her all these things I had supposedly
done to her and how I had treated her badly when we were in school. My boss also mentioned
how Laura always made sure I would be gone when she made her planning meetings because she
was afraid I would cause a scene. It turns out she had given me the night off because
Laura had requested that I *not* be in the building during her reception! I was appalled!
I had gone out of my way for this supposed friend and this is what she told my *boss*!
Thank god my boss knew me well enough to not believe the things being said
about me, but I can not believe Laura did this! I have never spoken to her again,
obviously, and I hope I never have to! ezilla1007-00
Earlier this year you published my
"Bridezilla" story on your website. It was a LOVELY tale of an ungrateful
friend from high school who greedily made unreasonable demands on those of us unlucky
enough to be in her wedding. I've only spoken to her a handful of times since her
wedding in 1993 as a result of the horrible experience.
Well, guess what arrived in my mailbox last week out of the blue -- a request to be a
witness for her annullment! That's right: a request for me to provide written answers to
120 questions about her life before, during and after her marriage -- testifying to the
fact that she shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
Oh, she did send me an email a few days later to say that I should expect something
from the church. No, she didn't ask if she could list me as a witness. No, she
didn't ask if I was willing to spend 5 hours completing the forms. No, she didn't
even ask if I could even be helpful given that we haven't spoken in years. It's just sick!
So here's a warning to all of the future bridesmaids out there: The hell doesn't
end -- even after the wedding (and subsequent divorce).
Just sign me,
It's been 7 years, and it's not over yet!
Reading through a lot of these stories, I often think back to my
experience as a salesperson in a bridal store and wonder what became of some of "my
brides". Of course there was a regular dose of snobby mothers, and whiny brides, but
one group has stood out in my mind for over three years now.
The bride came in with her mother, grandmother and a few bridesmaids--standard
entourage. They did their typical browsing and perusing, and I was very surprised the
bride was having a lot of trouble finding what she wanted, since a lot of the dresses were
quite lovely on her--ample figure and all. She kept pointing to dresses and asking if I
had anything "lower cut" that "showed a lot of cleavage", which rather
surprised me...most brides her size are trying to tug the things up to retain some sense
Finally, she got very frustrated that I was trying to politely choose things for her
that were very lovely and feminine without being bawdy, which was obviously what she was
craving. Her mother, too, was getting frustrated and started roving through the racks.
"Don't you have anything that shows a lot of cleavage? She needs to keep her
husband's attention up there!! Last thing she needs is him %&*$#!#^ another one of the
Well, I don't remember if my draw dropped at that moment (she was getting a lot of
looks from around the store!) but I do remember wondering if the mentioned bridesmaid was
one of the girls present. I didn't even want to look the grandmother in the eye!
I was VERY glad they didn't find what it was they were looking for there. Perhaps a
lingerie store? Sometimes I wonder if their time would have been better spent going ahead
and picking up the divorce papers!
This is about my sister-in-law, Karen, and my brother-in-law,
Steve. They had planned to marry a year after me and my fiance, but later changed their
minds and set their wedding date for 3 weeks after ours. My parents were paying for most
of our wedding, and as tradition in our family, my mother paid for my wedding ensemble
gown, veil, shoes, etc. I told my MIL how happy I was that my mother was being so
generous. Karen overheard me saying this and sighed that she didn't have a mother who
could do that for her (her mother was incapacitated after suffering several strokes and
was in a nursing home).
A couple of weeks later, my MIL told me that Karen had asked her to pay for her wedding
dress since her own mother couldn't. I thought that was pretty tacky in and of itself, but
it got worse. See Karen had been engaged before and gotten so close to getting married
that she had already bought her gown. At the last minute she broke off the engagement, but
decided to keep the dress and wear it for her wedding to my fiancé's brother.
Unfortunately, she was a lot thinner back then, and the dress was too tight. So she asked
my MIL to pay to have the dress altered to a bigger size (which is much more difficult and
costly than making a dress smaller). My MIL none too happily agreed - she was already
upset that this girl was going to wear a dress that was bought to marry another man. Well,
Karen also told her that she was going to lose some weight so the dress wouldn't have to
be altered too much.
A few days later, she called my MIL to tell her that she had used some of their grocery
money that week to purchase some herbal diet pills that allow you to eat whatever you want
and still lose weight. She was celebrating her new weight loss plan with some fast food.
Still more I wisely chose not to attend Karen's bachlorette party. I heard the whole
story from my husband later on. It turns out Karen has very few friends, so her
bachlorette party turned out to be just her and her MOH. They went to a bar and Karen got
VERY drunk. So drunk that she started making out with some guy at the bar. Her MOH got
very upset by this and told her her behavior was inappropriate. Karen got very defensive
and began to argue with her MOH and tells her she's out of the wedding. MOH left,
inadvertently taking Karen's house and car keys with her. Karen called another girlfriend
who came and picked her up and let her stay at her house until Steve could pick her up
(did I mention they live about 70 miles away from where the party had taken place?). Later
on, Karen told him the whole story (even the part about her kissing the guy). He chalks it
up to the booze and tries to make amends with the x-MOH because the wedding is a week
away. Finally gets the x-MOH to talk to Karen, but Karen has been convinced by another pal
that she was right all along and the MOH is a total b&!*$ for giving her a hard time.
Karen curses out the x-MOH again and says she's still out of the wedding. FINALLY through
Steve's patient reasoning with Karen, she forgives the x-MOH and reinstates her in the
Thought that was it? Apparently, in order to finish paying for their honeymoon, Karen
and Steve needed $1200. Karen figured that people usually spend around $80 for a wedding
gift, so she calculated how many more people she would have to invite in order to get the
extra money they needed. She didn't want to register for gifts, since she wanted cash and
even told my MIL she would return any gifts they received in order to get the cash. They
had a "wishing well" set up at the reception. We bought them a camera to take on
their honeymoon instead, and waited to give it to them as they were leaving for their
honeymoon so she didn't have time to return it.
The clincher, though, was that after all that fuss, we found out that Karen and Steve
had already gotten married in a secret ceremony several months before. Their pastor told
them that because they were living together already, they were living in sin and the only
way to remedy the situation would be to move away from each other or get married. Since
Karen was unemployed and Steve paid the mortgage on the house, they decided to get married
then and there. To this day, I don't think they've told my MIL the truth about their real
wedding date, although I think she figured it out on her own.
I just found your site and loved it. I wanted to share with you and your readers the
story of my wedding. First of all, I must tell you that my sister and I are very
close and she still, to this day-12 years later has no clue about how much this upset
My sister and I are a few years apart in age (I am older) but we ended up getting
married 3 months apart. She had been engaged for several years and planned an
elaborate extravaganza. I had gotten engaged after her, and of respect for her
prior plans, we decided to get married after her (and were still engaged 18
I was also very careful not to mention my plans during the multitude of showers and
pre-wedding events. Her dress, the meal, the caketop etc was the topic of every
family gathering for over 6 months (she brought her cake top to Christmas so our
aunts, uncles and grandparents could see it- she was married in May).
Finally, the Event was over and I felt I could start discussing my wedding without
feeling I was trying to steal her thunder. Apparently, however, my sister had not
particularly noticed my discretion. She brought her wedding pictures to my wedding shower;
when helping me with my registry, decided to take the opportunity to exchange her wedding
gifts; and brought her thank you cards to my rehearsal party.
The icing on the cake, though, was when during the reception when giving her toast
to me, the bride, she announced she was pregnant! ezilla1201-00
Several years ago, my husband (now ex) and I were friends with a
couple who took narcissism and pretentiousness to a new level. Be that as it may, we
maintained the friendship because they were interesting people and we did enjoy their
company for the most part.
When this couple got married, the bride (I'll call her Tricia) asked me to be the MOH.
She explained to me that she did not want to ask her only sister (Cheryl) to be the MOH
because they did not get along well and she felt it would be best to have Cheryl be a
bridesmaid instead of MOH. I accepted, and proceeded to spend the next six months in hell.
Tricia is the kind of person who gets stressed out if she goes on vacation and cannot
take her own pillows with her. She becomes overwhelmed with stress if the store at which
she shops is out of something that she needs (not thinking to perhaps go to a different
store in the same chain?). Needless to say, every decision regarding this wedding
requires days of soul-searching and hand-holding, which I am there to provide, right?
I drive with her or drive her all over town to find the "perfect" flowers,
the "perfect" caterer, the "perfect" gown...She wants me to spend
about $500 on a designer bridesmaid gown. I tell her I cannot afford this, and offer to go
to fabric stores to find a pattern that's identical to the gown she's chosen, and find
fabric, and have a seamstress sew the gown. She grudgingly agrees (saving me about $400),
but refuses to allow me to make several minor changes to the dress that I think might be
more flattering. Okay, fine, it's her wedding, I find the pattern and the fabric and the
Day of the wedding. I arrive at her house at 7 a.m. (or thereabouts). Tricia and Cheryl
are in Tricia's bedroom, already drunk on champagne and giggling like idiots. Cheryl's
dress is nothing like mine, even though she supposedly used the same pattern (and is much
more attractive than mine, by the way). Flowers are sitting out in the kitchen, not in
water, wilting. Chairs are piled in the backyard, as are tables, tents, etc...The ceremony
is in a public park relatively close to the house, in a lovely pavilion, but Tricia has
made no attempt to figure out how we're getting the chairs, arch, runner, etc...to the
park. She has no idea when the caterer is coming. She doesn't know what time she told
people to arrive. She forgot that the flowers need water...
I immediately kick into organizational mode. I start grabbing random people (friends,
her family members, etc.) and issuing orders. It takes quite a while, but things finally
are set up. Tricia and Cheryl continue to giggle and drink champagne.
Tricia has hired a limo to take the wedding party to the park, and wants to drive
around for a while first. Luckily she remembered to book the limo for an hour before the
actual wedding time. We drive around the city, everyone drinking, including Tricia and
Cheryl's dad, who begins to make remarks to me about his photography business and how I
should model for him. Did I mention he only takes nude photos?
We arrive at the park, get out of the limo (everyone smelling like a brewery, even me
because of the proximity of the others), and I start straightening ties, dresses, veils,
jackets because everyone's a little rumpled. As I'm straightening Tricia's father's tie,
he says "give me a kiss for luck." I lean to peck him on the cheek, and he turns
his head and slips me the tongue.
As we're walking up the steps to the pavilion, I start lining people up to process.
Tricia turns to me and says "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you, Cheryl and I made
up and I want her to be my MOH, do you mind?" So I'm field-demoted to bridesmaid
literally 30 seconds before the wedding is about to begin. I smile sweetly (what else
could I do?) and deal with it, placing myself in the correct position to walk.
After the ceremony, back at the bride and groom's house (where the reception is being
held), nothing is organized. I continue my order-issuing because I just know that if the
day is ruined, Tricia will blame me. Tricia and Cheryl continue to drink champagne and
giggle. Tricia has the pictures taken in the backyard (the only place to set up the
reception), so we cannot begin to set up tables, chairs, food, until the pictures are
done. She doesn't have me in any of the pictures. The reception goes fine (believe it or
And, you guessed it, no thank you in any form. I still occasionally see Tricia at
events where we have mutual friends, but she barely speaks to me.