|Looking for that perfect bridal shower gift? Every
bride needs a commonsense guide to the etiquette that really
matters. Let Wedding Etiquette Hell: A Bride's
Bible for Avoiding Everlasting Damnation by Jeanne
Hamilton be your guide.
Jul-Dec 2000 Archives
My story is about my sister in law we will call
her "Kelly". "Kelly" is generally a very sweet person with a good
disposition. Well, as they say- all is fair in love and war. I soon realized what kind of
"war" Kelly thought we were in shortly after I became engaged to my high school
sweet heart who was also Kelly's brother. At first I was happy that she would be my sister
in law....until "Jeremy", Kelly's brother, announced our engagement. Three days
after my fiancée and I announced our engagement- boom, Kelly announced her engagement.
One day after we announced our wedding date- boom- Kelly announced her wedding date and
her wedding date was two weeks before ours was scheduled. Okay, this pissed me off a
little bit, but in the spirit of family happiness I didn't make my feelings known. When I
got my engagement ring everyone thought it was lovely and so did I. When Kelly's fiancée
presented Kelly with her engagement ring she told him it was not what she had in mind and
promptly took it back to the local jeweler and EXCHANGED IT!!!! Well, everyone thought
this was pretty appalling, but it gets better. The ring she exchanged it for looked
EXACTLY like mine. The only saving grace was that the diamond was a different size. Other
than that it was an exact replica. I was livid! Still, I didn't want to make waves so I
held my tongue.
Her wedding day came and it was lovely. However, she told me at the
reception that she and her new husband were going to take a two week honeymoon and she
didn't know if they would be back in time for my wedding...I couldn't believe she would do
that to her own brother. I was again disgusted, but again held back my feelings. My
wedding day came and Kelly and her new husband did arrive to be there with us. This made
me very happy...until I got to my reception. It seems that while Kelly and her new husband
were on their honeymoon she found a "more appropriate diamond" for her
engagement ring and was showing it off at my reception. Well guess what....now her ring
really did look just like mine. She had a new diamond set in her engagement ring and it
was exactly like mine. I was only mildly upset until I overheard her commenting on how
"much prettier her engagement ring was than mine and how cheap mine looked." I
could have killed her. How can one person be such a B#@%* at her own brother's wedding! I
hope she chokes on that ring and her ego! Thanks for letting me vent. This is the first I
have spoken of this incident for fear of exploding! -signed- SIL Enraged Ezilla 2-2-01
My sister, "Pam" was determined to marry a very well-off, but shiftless guy, and
gave my parents six months in which to pay for,and plan everything (I don't know what her
rush was-she'd moved in with him four days after she met him). "Arthur", her
intended, came from a wealthy family, but the vast bulk of his personal portfolio came
from a brisk business in, shall we say, "street pharmaceuticals". Needless to
say, he was a grumpy cuss, but he couldn't hold a candle to Pam. She asked me to be a
bridesmaid 4 months before the wedding, which wasn't so bad, but insisted upon having each
bridesmaid go alone with her for the fitting (that's right, one fitting) and we were to
pay Pam, not the seamstress, for the gowns. In talking to the other bridesmaids, I later
found that they had paid $120 each for their dresses, while Pam had told me the price of
my dress (BM, not MOH, mind you) was $180. I later confronted her about it, and she told
me she needed an extra $60 for her veil and headpiece, and she didn't want to overcharge
her friends. Besides, she told me, You should consider it an honor to be in my wedding;
you might even meet somebody! I inwardly hoped I wouldn't have to meet Mr. Right in the
horror of a dress she had chosen.
The seamstress, although a lovely lady, spoke almost no English, and as
my sister speaks no Spanish, communication, especially over the phone, was painful to
watch. But not nearly as painful as the dresses we were first shown two days before the
wedding. They were awful, simply awful! Fluffy peach dresses with the requisite big butt
bow (Poor MOH, instead of the butt bow, she had two big bows, one on either hip!) and tons
of netting. I mention the netting because right before the ceremony, my sister, who'd been
drinking since early morning, walked past my dress, which was hanging on the back of a
door, with a lit cigarette, and I can tell you, netting burns! Of course, I was to blame!
Well, the wedding, and the reception, held in Pam and Arthur's very
large backyard was very nice for the little planning that had gone into it, even though
most of the wedding party was still sore and achy from having to clean up my sister's yard
days before the wedding! That's right. She had all of us, including my parents, out there
cleaning up dog poop and planting flowers while she sat in the house, chatting on the
phone. And then asked me to pay for pizzas and beer for the cleaning crew, when I remarked
that everyone was hungry and thirsty. I guess I love punishment, because she then was able
to guilt-trip my mother and me into cleaning her blessedly tiny house for her, since she
was so busy. When I asked my future BIL whether he'd have a plumber on hand, (one
bathroom, notoriously bad plumbing), he fixed the situation by nailing a plywood shield to
the side of the patio where the drinks would be served, and announced DURING THE WEDDING
that the male guests had no business in the house, as they could relieve themselves
outside (Judging from some of the people he invited, maybe not a bad idea) Believe it or
not, the wedding itself was actually very nice, the whole outdoors thing came off very
well, but I left after my sister 1) invited my ex and his new girlfriend to the reception,
which made my daughter go into hysterics, and 2) kept trying to set me up with one her new
husband's best friends, saying making out with him at the reception would make my ex
jealous. She then told me to "make it look good", but not TOO good, as the guy
in question had recently confided to her that he'd caught genital herpes!
I love my sister, I don't begrudge her the money, the fact that she made us her personal
slaves, wheedled money out of the MOH's dad to pay for her honeymoon, and never sent thank
you notes to anyone (when I asked her about it, she insisted there was a small "
thank-you" message written on the back of my placecard!) but she was a Tasmanian
devil for 4 whole months, and when it was my turn to tie the knot, I eloped to 'Vegas. I
think my parents breathed a sigh of relief.
I have a story I just MUST share. My best friend (Lee) had a friend
(Jackie) who was getting married. Since Jackie was a friend to Lee, she and I had met
frequently but had never really hung out. All I knew about Jackie's upcoming nuptials was
that she knew the groom for 3 months and he was a computer programmer who had started his
own business and was VERY well off! One day Jackie turns to me and says, "My first
choice backed out, will you be a bridesmaid at my wedding?" Everyone was horrified at
this invite, but I thought it would be fun to be a bridesmaid so I accepted. I was in
college at the time (we all were) and I had no idea how expensive being a bridesmaid would
be, especially on a waitress' salary. Despite the groom's financial status, Jackie had us
pay for everything for the wedding (dresses, make-up etc) which I took in stride. Then she
proceeded to throw herself 6 (!!) showers, including a bridal shower for the groom (who
none of us knew). Jackie registered for each of these showers at prestigious stores. Since
her soon to be husband had a house, 2 cars, and all the trimmings, Jackie had registered
for gilded fondue sets, champagne coolers, amazingly expensive china... and on and on.
Excluding a few towels on the list, the cheapest item on her list was $60, the most
expensive a $300 tractor! On a college students budget most of the party was finding this
hard to bear. Jackie kept nagging the MoH "When are YOU throwing me a party?" so
many times the Moh threatened to cancel it if she didn't ease up. Jackie then threw
herself a pay your own way bachelorette party and pre-wedding lunch. In the end of it all
the wedding wound up costing EACH bridesmaid almost $2000 and Jackie was upset because of
all the towels she received as wedding gifts. To add a feeling of waste, Jackie and her
husband divorced a year later.
My cousin announced that she was pregnant the day before her
family moved to the other side of the country. Her boyfriend had gone to school with me
since kindergarten, so we were good friends. He spent many evenings at my house agonizing
about what to do. The mommy had decided to keep the baby and he went to where she was
living to sort thing out. They finally decided to get married there a month later, when
she was 7 month along. She asked me to be the MOH, since she had made no friends at her
new home. She sent me a pattern and a fabric sample and told me I was to make the dress
myself. Now I am a plus size and this dress was a "bubble style," fitted at the
top, bulging out in the middle and gathered into a tight band at the knee. I called the
bride and told her of my horror at the dress, but she cried and said she loved the dress,
so I got the very ugly pale pink brocade and made the thing. That tight band at the knees
made me sort of lumber as I walked and I felt ridiculous. The day of the rehearsal arrived
and I flew and bussed to the tiny town where the wedding was to be. The morning of the
wedding, she and I and her 10 year old sister, the bridesmaid, went to have our hair done.
She insisted we all get these "big hair" dos. I had to pay to have this very
unflattering style done, but she was my cousin and a stranger in what turned out to be a
strange land. When we got to the church, I helped her dress, in a dress that turned out to
be a white version of mine, only with a little train tacked on. In her delicate condition,
the dress looked even worse on her than mine did on me. With that awful hairdo, she looked
like a big white balloon with a little black ball on top. I might have laughed, but I knew
my look wasn't going to be much better. The blue version was fine on her skinny sister. We
looked like a parade of hot-air balloons in baby shower colors. The service was held right
after church so the church members could fill up the church. The parents of the bride were
members there, but the bride had never been inside the church before the rehearsal. The
minister had a little case of Alzheimer's and called the groom by five different names
during the ceremony, none of them his own. He kept getting lost in his script and would
say "This seems like a good place for a prayer" while he frantically searched
for what he was supposed to say next. The service lasted over an hour. The reception was
fine, if impersonal. Afterward, she opened every gift, most of them still in the mailing
wrappers from friends in our hometown. Now these guests didn't know the bride and
certainly not the givers of the gifts, but they were expected to pass each one around and
comment on them. By this time it was nearly 4 in the afternoon and the only food we had
had since breakfast was some cake and a few nuts. The couple had reservations for a local
hotel for the one-night "honeymoon." The bride decided that since she had not
had a shower, she wanted to go out drinking with all present. I declined and headed for
the nearby diner for something to eat before heading for the airport for a redeye flight.
I was never so glad to get on a plane. Ezilla 3-31-01
I truly love your site! A few years ago, my "friend" Cindy got
married for the second time (or third, depending on who you believe). As her intended's
job kept him traveling quite a lot, my friend Ann and I offered to help with the planning
(as we had planned our own weddings just a few years prior). We went shopping for her
dress, visited the hall and caterer, I bought (and paid for) the bridesmaid shoes, threw
an elaborate shower (Ann was hostess), rented and set up roll away beds in the hotel for
out of town guests (the hotel ran out) and generally played hand maidens. Ann was a
bridesmaid and I offered to run last minute errands on the big day and be at the church
early in case anyone needed anything last minute. Cindy asked me to come to the rehearsal
and dinner, which I thought was a very nice way to thank me for all the help I had given
and a sweet way to make me feel included. (FYI, I did send a nice thank you note to the
groom's parents for having me).
At the beginning of the rehearsal, the minister asked "Where's the
Wedding coordinator?) I'm looking around as I was unaware there was one. He then
calls out MY name and tells me to get up front as it is my responsibility as the
co-ordinator to take notes and make sure everything goes smoothly. The only
"official" duty I had offered to perform was to make sure the DJ was cued for
the arrival announcement (no one had the foresight to make sure my husband & I were
announced). I took notes, taped down markers for the bridal party placement and was
lectured by the minister on how he hoped I was more prepared and professional on the
I arrived at the church on the big day to find the bride and several of
her maids drinking in the church basement. Ann was running behind as she had been the only
person show up to decorate the reception area. No pictures were being taken (Cindy and
Jeff wanted all photos done before). The MOB grabbed me and demanded I get the photos
moving and tell the groom's family (all 45 of them) to get out of the chapel. I have no
idea where they found the photographer, but he had no list of pictures and no idea of
where to start. We finally finish the photos about 10 minutes before the service is to
start. The wedding party arrives at the reception 1 1/2 hours after the wedding (bar
hopping) and I cue the DJ to make the announcement. Figuring my official duties are over,
I sit down with my husband and Ann's husband to enjoy myself. All through dinner, the MOB
and MOG are constantly coming over to me about asking the DJ to play different music,
asking the wait staff to step up coffee production, etc. The catering manager corners me
and says we need to get moving on the cake cutting, bouquet toss, dance as the hall needs
to be cleared at 11:00 pm. It is now 9:45 and the bridal party is outside drinking and
smoking and having their photo taken while in crude poses. When I approach Cindy, her
response is F@@@ it, this is our party. I get no thank you note for my
gift(s) or help. I
did not get as much as a Christmas card in the next month, which I found odd as we did see
each other on a regular basis and I had given Christmas presents to Cindy, her new husband
and her son. Ann finally showed me the Christmas Newsletter sent by Cindy which details
the exploits of the "Wedding Nazi" (me) and how everyone had such a great time
making fun of my fat butt sticking up when I was taping the place markers on the church
floor. Ann and I wised up when Cindy's sister threw her a baby shower the following
spring. I declined and sent no gift. Ezilla 4-5-01
Several years ago I was asked to be a Brides Maid at a friend of mines
wedding. She was having the whole "Queen for a Day" extravaganza. I paid for the
expensive dress, shoes, shower gifts, etc and did all the other pre-wedding activities
asked of me. She was notorious for being very selfish and self-serving. Her wedding was in
May and I was getting married the next month, although I was having a very small
family-only wedding at my aunt's home (my husband and I were paying for the whole thing
ourselves). It was understood that only our immediate families would be invited to our
wedding. Most of my friends were very understanding and supportive of our decision and
ended up giving us gifts anyhow (which we never expected, we don't believe in marriage as
a "cashing in" event). But the friend (now ex-friend) of mine whose wedding was
the prior month completely ignored the fact that I was being married and didn't even send
me a card of congrats-after I had shelled out a lot of money on her big tacky wedding!
Also, while we were at her reception she was talking about a friend of
her's from out of town who was unable to attend her wedding, but in her words, "it
doesn't matter because he sent me a check for $100.00 anyhow". I couldn't believe she
would say such a thing! Needless to say, she's no longer a friend of mine. Ezilla 5-2-01
This story concerns the days leading up to and on the wedding day of a
friend of mine known as "G" back in 1994. He lived in Brisbane and I lived in
Melbourne (yes I am from Australia). I was pleased that G was going to tie the knot and
that I would share in this grand day by being one of the groomsmen. A month prior I had
visited a formal hire shop in Melbourne which has branches in Brisbane to have the tuxedo
measured and fitted (these would be sent northwards for the fittings on the weekend
prior). Three months prior to the wedding the other groomsman, the best man (another
mutual friend) and I had started planning the bachelor party to be held two days prior.
Our plans were to have a long and lazy formal meal at one of the best Brisbane restaurants
followed by cigars and port at a jazz club. No expense was spared and we spent hours
debating over the phone which place had the best wine list, etc.
I arrived in Brisbane after a two day rail trip from Melbourne via
Sydney exhausted as I had just moved house. After a quiet day with G the evening was spent
collecting our formal wear. It was here that G announced that he had gotten wind of what
we had planned for him the following night and wanted no part. He mistakenly believed that
we were going to get him roaring drunk, take him to various strip clubs and generally have
a night of debauchery. He had also telegraphed this to his fiancée who was most annoyed.
We were gobsmacked. We tried to explain that we were going to spend a grand evening wining
and dining and not as he put it go to strip clubs. He did not relent.
By this time I was frazzled and extremely annoyed as I had been looking
forward to a nice meal and some excellent wine. After the final 'run through' at the
church on the day prior to the wedding the best man, and us wondered what we would do. G
bounded in and said that he had organized a night at his place. What transpired was pizza,
several bottles of wine and he brought out some pornographic videos to watch. Incredible!
G became incredibly drunk and fell asleep. Us three debated whether we should go out and
leave him at home. In the end we gave up and everyone left for homes at around 11.30pm at
The next morning the bridesmaids called by and chortled about where they
had been the night before with the bride. They looked at us at amazement about our tale of
woe. The wedding went without a hitch. Arriving at the reception we found that they had
double booked us. We had to wait another two hours for the previous party to leave. By
this time it was around 3.00pm and we had not had anything since 7.00am. Lunch almost
turned into dinner - we ate at 4.30 or so and then we were told we had to leave by 7.00pm
as another party was on their way in. G had said that as I was from out of town I could
stay over at his place that night (they were off on their honeymoon) as I would be leaving
the following day for home. At the end of the reception as we were getting ready to leave
G's mother bustled up and said that I was not to stay there as she could not trust me to
mess the house up (as a wedding prank??) with the rest of the groomsmen - what did she
think we were - teenagers? We were all in our mid-20s! Plus the formal wear was to be
handed back to the parents at the end of the night. I was disgusted. We gents then
organized a shuttle (with G's parents tailing us all the way there and back) to take me
back to G's place to get changed and to collect my luggage. I then had to organize a hotel
at extremely short notice which cost around $300 or so. The hotel was "vetted"
by the parents to ensure it wasn't the place G and his new wife were staying. It wasn't,
thankfully. Finally we gents arrived in my hotel room at 9.30pm truly exhausted. We took
the bridesmaids out for a late dinner to make up for the swank dinner we were supposed to
have days ago. Ezilla 5-8-01
Though long, this is worth reading!!! I promise!!!!!
Last September my fiancé's sister got married. I had known her about 3
years. She and I were quite close. Since she wasn't prepared to pick her
'maids yet, she did ask me to help her with the planning of the wedding and
picking of the dresses, her gown, the cake, etc.. For almost a year we
planned and planned and planned this gigantuan affair for hundreds of people
that included dove releases, out of season flowers, huge sit down dinner, and
so on. Since I had done so much for her (I even picked out the bride's maids
gowns!) I assumed I would be in her wedding. Little did I know she had
chosen her fiancé's sister as matron of honor, a friend she hadn't spoken to
in a few years (literally) to be maid of honor, and her only cousin over 20
as a 'maid. Turns out she asked me to help because they all couldn't. Who
do you think planned eight of the 11 showers she wanted? Moi. So I was so
About a month before the wedding she asked me to do a "reading" to actually
be memorized. So I accepted. At the rehearsal dinner I found out she
resorted back to her "original reader" and I wouldn't be needed. I just
smiled and tried not to show how hurt I was. At the dinner part she started
giving gifts to all who helped with the wedding and the maids and other
attendants for being in the wedding. I didn't expect a gift. And didn't get
one. Not even a thank you for all the work I had done.
Night before wedding now. She asked me to stay over at her place to help out
with a few last minute things, and besides, the maids and flower girls would
be there and those two little girls love me to pieces. So I said yes. One
maid called out- she preferred to stay home. Another maid worked late and
decided to go home. The third maid didn't call, didn't show, and we know she
had the night and day off from work. So I stayed up most of the night
consoling the bride-to-be that her maid of honor wouldn't just run off (she
had been talking about eloping). Secretly I was hoping she had since we are
the same size. Then I could be the one to walk down the aisle on my fiancé's
arm, not the MOH who has a thing for him. But she showed up in the morning.
Day of. The reader called out, so I had my spot back. All seems to go well
until I find out she had a separate reception area set up for closest
relatives and the attendants and the attendants had to stay at that reception
for the first three hours. Kind of a "VIP" reception. And I wasn't
included. All the people I knew at this 400+ wedding were in that reception!
Suddenly she rushes over crying since the photographer hadn't showed and
could I please find him or a replacement? Patience for a thank you growing
thin, I smile and say all right. She says, "Great! Please hurry!" and runs
off. I find a replacement since the original photographer had the dates
mixed up. A bit tired I go to get a soda. $4.50 a 12 oz glass! I have
heard of cash bars, but cash sodas as well?!?!?!
With an hour left to the end of the reception the attendants finally are able
to join us- sort of. They go to the head table (dinner is about to start and
my fiancé has to eat up there). First dance. Then the attendants dance with
their partners- a fast song, slow song, another fast, and one more slow. We
all watch. Finally the family dance in which the attendants all dance with
the person of their choice. The only dance with my own fiancé. He was so
tense since the MOH kept trying to kiss him and push herself on him.
Post reception. Another smaller reception for extended family and friends.
Since it was in my back yard I got to go. I set the place up with the help
of a few friends and relatives, but paid for it all myself out of pocket down
to the food. I paid in advance when I thought I would be a maid. She gave
the garter to her "Little Sister" (Big Sister/Little Sister program) and the
veil and headpiece to a five year old. Slowly people start to leave after
the PR has been going on several hours. The happy couple finally left for
the honeymoon leaving the cleanup to my and whoever I could get to help.
Post honeymoon. They brought souvenirs to all those they gave gifts to
before. But not me. Again.
I'd had enough. Not even a vocal thank you for all I have done! I
confronted her about her ungratefulness. She just said, "But you didn't do
that much for me." I was raised to thank people for moving if I so much as
said "Excuse me" and she thinks working on a wedding is not much?!?! We
haven't talked since. If she's that ungrateful after all I have done, all
the money spent (did I mention her own maids didn't go to her dress
fittings-that I did?), she has lost the pleasure of my company. I only
wanted to hear a Thank you. That's not too much, is it?
Just had to get this one off my chest. I went to the marriage of a
friend Friday evening. She was divorced (marriage annulled) over 50 with two grown
children. She was married in a Catholic Cathedral with a mass. She wore a very wide
strapless gown with a very long train and no veil. The invitations said 8:00 PM however,
the wedding officially started at 8:30 PM. The bride wanted everyone on time. Not everyone
received their own invitation (the bride said she couldn't afford it). So one invitation
would be given to a group to pass around so if someone wanted to attend they could write
the information down. Their was a bulletin announcement in the Parish inviting everyone to
her "candlelight" ceremony and reception. The bride registered for gifts.
Well the ceremony was more than two hours long (the marriage should last
so long). The "reception" consisted of 3 day old pastries and store bought
cookies and candy (not enough for everyone). The 7 layer cake had only one layer of cake.
The other layers were frosted cardboard. The bride and groom did the cake cutting thing,
fed each other and no one else had any cake. After the ceremony the bride informed the
cantor that she had financial difficulties and wondered if he would forego his fee - he
said no - good for him. Three months before the wedding, the bride was crying poor and
expected her friends to help out with the wedding. We all bought gifts. People went home
very angry. Everyone had spent alot of time, energy and money on the wedding and we were
not thanked in anyway - no food, no cake. We all found out 6 days before the wedding that
the bride and husband to be owned an apartment in NYC, house in Connecticut and home in
the East Hamptons and sailed away for a 2 week Greek Island honeymoon. This bride and
groom seem to be completely unaware that they have sailed away with 200 people very angry
and not wishing them well. By the way, the bride hired no wedding planner. She used all of
her friends to do the work and didn't take any of us to dinner or sent a token gift for
This is about a hellish engagement party. It was a small affair held at
the bride's mother's home. The bride is a woman with a history of emotional troubles, and
the groom is what my fiancé refers to as a "monosyllabic goon". Myra, the
bride, (not her real name) had very few friends and somehow roped me into being the
Maid-of-Honor. The engagement party was held on a hot day in late May of 1999. The
sweating bride, somewhat overweight, wore a wrinkled pair of khaki shorts and a men's
v-neck T-shirt, tied in a knot in front, showing off a glorious midriff that hung over the
waistline of her shorts.
The groom's family clustered in a group and muttered hellos when we were
introduced to them. I never was introduced as the Maid-of-Honor, a minor slight that I
overlooked. At one point, when I was looking at the bride's oversized, dull, emerald-cut
diamond engagement ring, she said, "It's big, isn't it?" I work on Wall Street,
and had seen dozens of sparkly, big diamonds, so I just responded, "It's a good
size". The bride and groom spent most of the day in the house out of the way of the
guests, so we had to entertain ourselves. We sat on the lawn in the backyard and tried to
look unperturbed. At one point the groom came up to us and said in a barely audible tone,
"The lasagna is ready", and then turned around walked away. Later, I found out
that the bride had sent him out to make conversation with us.
When I made small talk with the bride, she was slurring her speech, very
reminiscent of how one sounds when one mixes alcohol with prescription sedatives. She
drank her beer straight from the bottle. Later on (I stuck around trying to be a good
MOH), the bride decided to open her presents - which typically aren't opened at engagement
parties, but who was I to scold her etiquette? When she opened my gift, champagne flutes
ensconced in a tell-tale blue box, she held up a glass and announced to her mother several
feet away, "See Ma, TIFFANY'S!" When she opened her cards, she pointedly looked
at the dollar amount on each check and then turned to the guest to smirk and slur thank
you. Her aunt and grandmother were there, and since they didn't have the means to make a
monetary contribution, they very nicely wrapped up heirloom china as their gift, and
explained the history of each piece as she unwrapped it. My fiancé overheard the bride
loudly whispering to the groom during this process "We don't have to put this ugly
stuff out if you don't want to." We excused ourselves from the party shortly after
Surprisingly, the wedding was a lovely affair - even though it was held
on January 1st of 2000, a most inconvenient date. I guess when you start from the bottom,
there's no where to go but up! By the way, at my engagement party, Myra stuck her finger
in the onion dip and licked it off. She had a Band-Aid on her finger!
Hello, I read about your site today in the Wall Street Journal, and I
think it's great! Here's a good story about my friend's wedding a few years ago, in which
I was a bridesmaid--this may be one of the worst you've ever heard. I should say my friend
is a very nice woman, and this is really about an awful mother-of-the bride, not an awful
bride: A few weeks prior to the wedding, all the bridesmaids, my friend, and her mother
were at the dressmaker's house to have our dresses altered. One of the other bridesmaids,
an extremely close friend of the bride, was pregnant and would be about 5 months pregnant
by the day of the wedding. She was married, by the way, not that I think it matters. This
woman was overjoyed to be pregnant, because she had recently suffered two miscarriages.
While this woman was changing into her dress in the bathroom, so that the dressmaker could
work on it, I overheard my friend's mother saying to another bridesmaid, "Some people
are so selfish--they don't think of anyone but themselves, etc." I realized she was
talking about this woman because she was pregnant! I was so angry I turned to my friend's
mother and said very loudly, in front of everyone, "So, do you think she should have
had an abortion so she could look thin in the wedding?" Everyone was shocked. (But
not as shocked as I was that she had been upset about this in the first place!) She
replied, "Well, no, because I don't believe in abortion." I didn't say anything
else, but I was thinking, "Oh, so if you were pro-choice you WOULD say she should
have an abortion just to fit in the bridesmaid dress?" I mean, God forbid a couple
would plan their family on their own schedule, rather than according to someone else's
one-day event! Keep up the site--it's great!
One of my friend from high school decided to finally marry the guy she
had been seeing for sometime. I was happy for her and offered to be of any assistance. I
was really shocked when I wasn't asked to be in the wedding. Mind you I had known this
girl since we were 5 years old. We had grown up together and lived close to each other.
Anyways, it came time for the bridal shower. Like the good person everyone should try to
be I got some gift ideas from the bride to be since she hadn't registered anywhere. Going
from her suggestions, I bought the new coupled several items for their kitchen. I spent
quite a lot of money on these gifts. The shower went well and I was looking forward to the
wedding. Some time passed and I never received a thank-you card or anything. Then about
two weeks before the wedding, I got a letter in the mail from her parents stating that the
wedding had been called off. I felt bad for my friend at first but then I found out that
the wedding was called off because her future husband's divorce from his first wife was
never finalized. Then to top it all off, she kept all of the gifts. I just couldn't
My fiancé and I were trying to figure out a date for our wedding, we
had made a suggestion and agreed but when we found out that a great friend of his from
childhood was also getting married that same day we had to make a decision, so we decided
to change the date to about two month later. (Please keep in mind that my fiancé always
referred to his friend "Bill" as like a brother because they grew up together.
As time got closer and I was getting invitations ready for my wedding I started realizing
how close our friend *Bill's* wedding was getting and still no invitation. I then called
my fiancé's mother and asked if they had received "Bill's" wedding invitation
yet. She obviously said yes and continued to mention that her other son (my
bother-in-law-to-be) had also received his. My mother-in-law-to-be then phoned
"Bill's" mother to get the scoop. She told her that it was intentionally done
because of something my fiancé said 10 years ago when they were teenagers.... Talk about
not letting go and to think that I changed my wedding plans for them... Ezilla 6-6-01
My twin sister and I have had a relationship that has gone from
hot-to-cold all of our lives. Our history includes an affair (and subsequent relationship,
including a child) with a man I had lived with for six years (he is the father of my
children). It took time, but I did eventually forgive her for that. She was still with my
ex when I met my current fiancé and got engaged. I chose not to have her in my bridal
party, because I was uncomfortable enough with her relationship with my ex (let alone
having him at my wedding as her guest). Well, all that worry for nothing, she cheated on
my ex, and dumped him for the other guy. Then she begs me to allow her to be a bridesmaid,
which I eventually agreed to, which caused my fiancé to have to find another usher.
The wedding was in eight months. Months later, she calls me to inform me
that she and this guy are getting married because she is pregnant. She decided the best
time will be a month after the wedding (after I told her in no uncertain terms I had an
issue with it being THE DAY BEFORE MINE, which she originally tried to do.) Things ended
up going very wrong for my fiancé and I that year-he got laid off, and they found some
health problem with me that took months to clear up (months where I had to be off work).
My fiancé and I decided to postpone our wedding. Hers continued as planned, and about six
weeks before the wedding, I asked if there was any way I could be part of the wedding in
some way(nothing specific-she had explained with my wedding and the health problems when
she first got engaged that I was not being asked to be on the bridal party), which I
figured wouldn't be out-of-line given that I had made her a member of mine at a later date
too. She said no she couldn't do it, which I accepted. Then she calls me back and says
okay, I can be a bridesmaid but I had better appreciate what a hassle I have been to her.
I told her I had understood and wasn't upset and then she starts yelling at me that I had
already caused her enough stress so I had better not back out now. I agreed to stay on as
bridesmaid and accepted the immediate list of responsibilities (which were to start the
For the entire time leading up to the wedding, I was told often how
grateful I should be that I was on her bridal party, and she told everyone how generous
she was to have done this for me. I should also mention that where I live, couples have
evenings called socials, which people pay money to attend and buy drinks(for less than
norm price)..they are like fundraisers and generally accepted here. They are typically
done about 4-6 months prior to the wedding. The couple buys the liquor, pays for the hall
and supplies food (a buffet-cold dish type of food). She decided that she couldn't afford
a real wedding, so the social became where she was getting married. (Therefore all guests
and bridal party had to buy a ticket to her wedding, and about 220 tickets got sold so
there were people there she had never met) The week of the wedding had finally arrived and
she was screaming at everyone. The day before the wedding, she decided to start telling me
what a jerk she thought my fiancé was and how great hers was. We ended up arguing about
it, because , of course, I defended my fiancé against her accusations. Then she starts
phoning and telling everyone I'm jealous and being mean to her because she's getting
married and I'm not, so my mother starts phoning me, telling me off for adding stress to
her poor, pregnant stressed out bride to be daughter. I tried to explain and was told I
should know better than to take anything she says seriously when she is experiencing the
hormones from pregnancy on top of the wedding being two days away. So I decide to make it
better, phone and make up with her.
The following day, we have plans to pick up my father from the airport
together, as he is coming in for the weekend only, and staying with her. Then we were
going to go back to her place just for a little while to visit with him. ( My father had
never met either of our fiancés, or my two stepchildren, who live with my fiancé and I
as well) She phones me 15 minutes before the six of us were scheduled to leave for the
airport and says we can go to the airport if we want, but me and my family cannot go back
to her place because she doesn't feel like having all my kids there. (In other words we
have to drive 45 minutes across town to see my Dad for 10 minutes at the airport and then
drive 45 minutes home). She suggests we don't go at all. I got upset and said we were all
looking forward to seeing Dad and I didn't think it was fair to cancel the plans at the
last minute like that. She says she'll let us "have" my dad for two hours the
next morning because she'll be too busy to spend any time with him anyway. I told her I
didn't think that was fair. She said I was lucky she was letting me see my Dad in the
first place because he was here for HER. At that point I was so angry, I said we would all
see her at the airport and hung up on her. Her fiancé calls me right back and asks why I
am being such a bi**h. I hung up on him too.
I calmed down on the drive to the airport and figured she would have
too, so when we got there, I tried to talk to her. She told me she would have airport
security remove me for harassment if I didn't leave her alone. (All I had said was: Can we
talk?) She then informs me that because I have been sucha bi**h to her, I am kicked off
the bridal party. (this is the night before the wedding). I tried to reason with her,
reminding her Dad was arriving in a few minutes and should not have to deal with all of
this, and she promptly uninvites me and my family to the wedding, saying she'll have me
arrested if I show up. I remind her I have PAID for tickets she says that's too bad and
not to expect a refund until she can afford it. Dad arrives, she allows the 6 of us 5
minutes to greet him and leaves with him. I get home, and within 5 minutes, my brother is
phoning me yelling that I am being so nasty to her, and I should leave her alone (her
fiancé, who she had called from the airport had a field day with the story, telling
everyone he could think of that I just won't stop bothering her...my brother heard about
it in the BAR).
Then both my mother and father phone and start yelling at me too and say
I had better make it up to her at the wedding. I tell them I am no longer invited, so they
tell me to stop being so stupid and go anyway. I have no intention of being arrested, and
ask to hear from her that I am welcome. Not a word, but they are freaking on me so much I
agree to go anyway. At the wedding she acts like nothing happened, I've got all of her
friends making remarks in the washroom(and anywhere else they get a chance). The family
photos, got taken outside while my family and I were left inside alone. My wedding is now
9 weeks away. Its a sit down dinner, and I had no social. I have a MOH, that's it because
I didn't want to even think about the mess of a bridal party again after what happened
with her wedding and the one I had planned for that year. To add insult to injury, my
mother tells me I had better not expect a wedding gift from her (her family of six,
her,hubby and 4 kids all invited) because I never got her one. (I paid $60.00 for the
tickets to her wedding/social AND bought all my drinks) Did I mention my twin is NOT my
MOH? Ezilla 6-7-01A
This happened at a wedding I attended. I did not know the bride and
groom very well, the grooms parents were friends of my parents. So the reception was
beautiful, the meal extraordinary and I kept noticing the groom carrying a bottle of wine
everywhere he went. After the meal, the dancing began and I noticed a crowd form quickly
and a scream coming from the dance floor. The groom had passed out and the bride began to
cry, an ambulance was called and carried the unconscious groom with his hysterical bride
to the hospital to have the grooms stomach pumped. I don't think I will ever forget that
sight! ! Ezilla 6-7-01B
I met a woman during some sports activities we did together and barely
knew her. We only saw each other sporadically at best. She began dating a guy and
introduced me to him. Before I knew it, she was engaged and asked me to be in her wedding!
I said I would be, out of pity for her. Clearly she didn't have that many friends to ask
if I was on the short list! I barely knew her but attended two out of state showers for
her, bringing a gift each time. She seemed normal then...
She had her wedding in a one-stop-shop catering hall off the New Jersey
turnpike and went on and on about how she'd always DREAMED of having her wedding at this
catering hall. So I drove three hours for the rehearsal dinner and then the wedding.
Suddenly, she got weird. She was blasting her mother loudly at the rehearsal dinner. I
thought maybe she'd had something to drink (as I'd never seen her imbibe before, figured
it wouldn't take much). At her wedding she turned into a total Bridezilla. This catering
hall had mirrors on the walls and as photos were being taken she began yelling at the
photographer. "Get the guests out of here! They are going to show up in the shot! I
don't want them in here, this is for the wedding party only!" The guests were
shuffled out as she continued yelling at the photographer. She didn't end her roll there,
yelling at the wedding coordinator frequently that something was "Unacceptable!"
"Unacceptable!", I quickly learned, was her favorite word.
I ended up having to spend more time around her after the wedding
because I began dating her new brother-in-law. Things quickly went downhill from there. We
got together a few more times, the four of us. Each time she'd throw a temper tantrum. A
thirty-plus year old woman having conniptions! Once she didn't like the seating
arrangements at a local IHOP so she pouted and threw creamer at her husband. She then
stormed out, her pudgy face in a jutted-out-scowl and stayed in the car. I felt bad for
her husband for several months, until he demonstrated that he and she were two of a kind,
emotionally. She got even nuttier, making up lies about me to my boyfriend's family and
suddenly not speaking to me. Thankfully, the relationship with her brother-in-law ended
and I was able to shut his nutty in-law and him both out of my life for good. So with this
comes a word of warning, examine the guy's family closely because you'll have to cope with
them as well!
My cousin's fiancée at the time asked me to be her MOH, I took on the
responsibility thinking this will be great. My cousin and her were in some financial
binds, so my fiancée and I helped out by purchasing some of the decorations and put them
together. My cousin and his soon to be bride told me they would pay back every penny when
they got the chance. Although, my fiancée and I lived about 2 hours from my cousin, we
were at their house every weekend to help put together decorations, creating invitations,
and any other odd ended items that needed to be done.
My cousins' fiancée decided that they were going to put the wedding on
hold for a little while, and told me that she would let me know when they needed help
again. So, for the next couple weeks I didn't hear from her or my cousin. When I called to
find out what was going on their number had been disconnected. I called my aunt and got
the new number, but when I dialed it no one was there. The following weekend I took the 2
hour drive up to their house, when they weren't home I went to visit my aunt (only a
couple minutes away). I went inside to find my cousin's sister getting ready to go up to
Redding. It turned out that the bride to be was going to take her bridesmaids and MOH to
find their dresses for the wedding... This is how I found out that I was no longer in the
wedding... Wonderful isn't it???
What goes around comes around though... The morning of the wedding I
showed up early to help my younger cousin get ready so bridezilla wouldn't scream about
her make-up or how she looked. A phone call came in for the Bride 15 minutes after the
wedding was supposed to begin, it was her MOH, saying that she wouldn't be able to make
it. Bridezilla strikes again... The MOH she chose was about the same size as I am, I
thought that she would ask me. She turned around to another girl and asked her to try on
the MOH dress, it fit her well but she wasn't at dress rehearsal (I was). One of the other
bridesmaids came out and told me that if she were me she would have left the minute the
bride didn't ask her to be the MOH. Needless to say I no longer talk to the
"BRIDE" although my fiancée and I got her a gift, we have never received even a
thank-you let alone any of the money that we put into the wedding.
I once dated this guy Michael, and although things never seemed to work out for us
romantically, we were still great friends. He moved away to North Carolina, which is about
10 hours or so from where I live. We still continued to talk on the phone quite often, and
he started telling me about this girl he met. So things progress and I find out he is
engaged to Jennifer. I wondered why since we were still great friends why he hadn't called
and told me yet. We had contact through their whole relationship. So I call and he affirms
that they are getting married in February and I offer him my praise. He takes my address
down, since I had moved recently and says he wants me to come to the wedding.
When I ask about dancing with him he informs me that his precious Jenny
wouldn't let him dance with any other girls. I can totally understand how someone could be
so insecure that they wouldn't want their husband dancing with an ex, but she told him he
wouldn't even be able to dance with his own mother or sisters. The reasoning behind this
who knows, but I said fine, dancing with him wasn't something to cause trouble over or
question her psycho ways.
So fast forward to the end of December, I am about to have major
surgery, and I am scared to death because I've never even had stitches or had to go to the
hospital for any reason. So I make a call to my good friend Michael to talk to him, I
honestly thought something would go wrong and I might die, which was highly possible but
fortunately it didn't. And I make several calls over the next week or so but never am able
to reach him. So towards the end of January, I still haven't received my invitation, and
keep in mind this wedding would require my asking off from work and arranging travel to
get up there, so I needed to know in order to make plans. I go through the same ordeal as
I had in Dec. calling but never being able to reach him. I even tried calling at different
times, maybe he was busy with the wedding, maybe he had a 2nd job and worked nights, who
knows but after a while it hit me that Jenny, who was very jealous obviously wasn't
letting him talk to me. I probably would have respected her
more if she had decided she was too immature for me to be there, even though there was
nothing romantic between me and Michael.... nothing... if there had been I wouldn't have
broken up with him. So on my last call I left Michael a message and told him that I Ws
happy for him and Jennifer and whatever his reasoning for not answering my calls or even
uninviting me to the wedding, I hope it was worth the friendship we had, because he
probably wouldn't ever see me again (since we are so far apart) so I said my goodbye and
again said I hope they have a happy marriage.
But wait it gets worse....
I find out that not only has he hurt my feelings more than he would ever know, he couldn't
be a man (which was part of the reason we broke up) and explain the situation, Jennifer
plays the answering machine message to the whole family and anyone around. She tells them
how I was trying to break them up and ruin their marriage, and that I was STALKING
him. A few months later I find out that I'm not invited to a friend's wedding because it's
his cousin and they don't want me there. Which upsets me even more, so my bestfriend
confronts him and tells him off, about how that was wrong and he knew I would never do
that and he lost a great friend. He admitted that what happened was wrong and that he
really wanted to call me to apologize, but I guess Jenny never let him because I never got
the call. His whole family made sure I knew they didn't believe Jenny, so I felt better.
How psycho, immature, and insecure can a person be? I think she has issues. Ezilla
My husband and I were invited to the wedding and reception of an
friend of his. Greg and I are nationally ranked competitive dancers, and
have competed and performed all across the United States. However, when we
are at a social event (reception, office party, local nightclub) we DO NOT
dance to the level that we are capable of. We tone it down; don't do any
fancy moves, and basically dance very, very understated. Being extremely
conscious not to "show off", we were stunned by what happened at
The dinner was served; the bride and groom danced; the families all danced;
the bouquet and garter was tossed (Greg caught it, since we weren't married
at the time); and the DJ was BEGGING people to start the party. Several
great songs went by, and no one was on the dance floor. Finally a really
good song came on, and we waited until it was half over to start to dance.
We were doing swing, which is also like "jitterbug". We were doing very
basic moves, and not "hot-dogging" it in any way. Several of the older
people there seemed to enjoy watching us. The moves we were doing were
things that we teach in our beginner swing classes -- nothing fancy or
After about 2 minutes of the song, the groom came over and said, "Man, you
guys are really good, but you are so good that no one is going to want to get
out here! You are intimidating everyone, so go sit down." Thinking he was
joking, we smiled, and said "Thank you; we work very hard at this, and it's
lots of fun." He then grabbed my husband's arm, and said very seriously,
mean it. GO SIT DOWN!!!"
We were astonished. We left the dance floor; my husband pulled the garter
off his arm, and as we walked out, he threw it in the bride's plate of food
that was abandoned on the head table. We were furious!
We did receive a generic thank-you note from them, but haven't spoken to them
My best friend in high school called me last summer to say that she was getting
married, and that she would like me to be the maid of honor. I was delighted, and
agreed at once. I did warn her that since I attend college almost 400 miles away, I
wouldn't be around every weekend for bridesmaid duties. I suggested that she
delegate the business of bridal showers and flower arrangement to her sister-in-law who
lived in the same city.
The bride sent me the order numbers for bridesmaid dresses, and asked that I
come back to Omaha to spend the last weekend of her bachelorette-hood with her. I
drove six hours, crashed at a Holiday Inn, and called her voice mail.
She called me back to say that she was too busy to see me that
weekend. Her fiancé had to fix a laptop, and watching him fix it was a much higher
I was out $100, and had spent 6 hours driving. I explained to the
bride that I had really been looking forward to seeing her. She got angry and called
me a "jealous troublemaker".
Yes, I was surly at the wedding the next weekend... after driving another
six hours, and spending another $100 or so...
... and I haven't seen her since. zilla0129-01
The bridesmaids are dropping like flies in this story.
Ok... My fiancé (now hubby) and I got engaged in 1998. We decided to wait until 2000
to get married when he got his degree. That would also give us a few months to get
things together. Upon our engagement, I asked my then best friend to be my maid of honor.
All I ever got from her was a shocked gasp of "wow." She went back to college
that summer and join a sorority and that was the last I heard from her until the year I
got married. Needless to say I gave up on her as my Maid of Honor.
My next Maid of Honor was a good friend of mine since I was 12. She was
completely flattered and even cried when I asked her and said yes. I was really happy, I
finally had a TRUE Maid of Honor... Ha ha ha. She joined a sorority that spring and I
never heard from HER again.
My THIRD (yes THIRD) Maid of Honor was a friend that I'd had since I was 8.
I figured she was safe. Wrong again! She found a boyfriend that she "couldn't live
without" (even if he beat her) and she "had" to drop all of her friends
because we "just didn't understand". Three strikes...
After that I was very hesitant to select a new Maid of Honor. Who could
blame me? Six months later I finally get the courage to ask again, this time my best
friend from High School. She eagerly agreed and we started planning things that night. I
was so excited! FINALLY a friend that was eager for this role.
Ha, joke was on me again. Nope - this one stuck it out... Although I
sometimes wish she hadn't. Kristy (the Maid of Honor) agreed to be my Maid of Honor in
1999. That gave her a year of planning. Since we had three years to plan the wedding many
things were left until about 6 months before the wedding. That's when things started to go
The third ex-maid of honor came back into my life and was added as an
attendant to the wedding. My fiancé and I had decided on three bridesmaids (Carrie, Best
Man's sister, Angie, Trevor's best female friend and ex-Maid of Honor #3 whom had
"totally" sworn off on the bad boyfriend and was dedicated to being my
bridesmaid), a maid of honor (Kristy, my friend, mentioned above), two best men (#1
was Trevor's best friend, #2 his brother Jared) and two ushers/groomsmen (Trevor's friend
Dan and my neighbor Jason). Well ex-MOH #3 got back together with the ex she had sworn off
so I had to replace her in May of 2000 (our wedding was September 16. 2000).
In May I started telling the bridesmaids they needed to get fitted by June
1st for the dresses otherwise they wouldn't be able to get them in time for the wedding. I
warned all of them that they had to pay for half of the dress at the time of the fitting
and all of them were OK with it. Come Memorial Day only one bridesmaid had been fitted for
I threw a big hissy fit and my maid of honor and the other bridesmaid went
in and got fitted. I took the last bridesmaid in on June 1st knowing that I was going to
be paying for half of her dress because she was short of cash because she has a little
girl at home. I was totally fine with that. She and I have been friends for a long time
(in retrospect I should have asked HER to be my MOH).
So I pay for her dress after she is sized (and SWEARS she'll be that size by
my wedding) and I find out my MOH didn't pay for her dress. I was INFURIATED. If I didn't
pay I wouldn't have the guarantee for the dresses on time. So I had to chuck out the $70
for her dress and the $70 for my bridesmaids dress as well. I was so mad.
As soon as I walked out I was on the phone with my MOH asking why the hell
she didn't pay. She claimed that the girl who measured her didn't tell her she needed to
pay anything to order the dress. She apologized and said that she would bring the money
over to me that week.
I didn't hear or see her at all that week so towards the end of the week I
gave her a call to find out she's in the hospital. So I call her there and she has some
sort of problem with her pancreas or intestines. She said that she is expected to be in
for a few days. She said since she's going to be laid up and bored that I should bring her
the guest list for my wedding shower and she'd get started on that. She told me to come by
the next day. Well the next day I show up at the hospital and she had been released. I
call her on my cell phone and she said she was sorry but she didn't expect to be released
so quickly. She said that she was feeling pretty yucky and to come over the next day at
noon and we would start planning.
I go over the next day at noon and am informed by her stepfather that she
had gone down to their trailer on the lake for the weekend. I was so mad! I tried to be
understanding but I wasn't. If she's well enough to go to the lake, she's well enough to
pick up the phone and tell me that she's not going to be there. So I left the guest list
and the flowers I bought for her with her stepfather.
I never hear from her in the next week. No thank you, no calls, nothing. I
am starting to worry considering it's late June and she was planning for my shower in late
July/ early August. I vented my worries to my fiancé's best friend's mother, Carolyn, and
she said that if my MOH falls through her and her daughter, Carrie (one of my bridesmaids)
would throw the shower for me.
The first week of July arrives and I have still not heard from my MOH. I'd
left dozens of messages and nothing. I finally tell Carolyn to go ahead with the shower.
Let me back up a bit and tell you that my mother died when I was 13 and my brother
committed suicide the same year. So I didn't have any sisters or my Mom to help out in
that department. Nor do I have any close family nearby that could have stepped in to help.
My fiancé's Mom has MS and has a rough time getting around and he has no sisters either,
just a brother.
So Carolyn and Carrie decide to throw my shower at Carolyn's work on a
Sunday in late July - three weeks away. They sent out invitations, took RSVP's and
continued the hunt for my MOH.
Needless to say my shower wasn't the greatest. My MOH finally managed to get
a hold of us the week before the shower and said she'd be there with her mom. They did
what they could, but in that short amount of time there really isn't much you can do.
There was one game, some food and only about 10 people in attendance due to the short
notice. Not all of my bridesmaids were there, one had to miss b/c she couldn't take off
work. I was VERY upset with the turnout of the shower, but in retrospect I am thankful
that I at least HAD one.
My MOH also dropped a bombshell on me at the shower. She was planning on
getting married in February of 2001. BUT she decided to move up her wedding to two weeks
after my wedding!!! Needless to say that I knew that she was going to be worthless for
assistance from there on out.
Then I went shopping for shoes. I tried time and time again to get a
bridesmaid to come with me but all of them were too busy. Finally Carrie came with me She
didn't want to pay a lot of money and had her own idea of what SHE wanted. The gowns I had
chosen for the bridesmaids were identical to mine, but were lavender and had embroidery
instead of beading. I wanted closed toe, somewhat strappy, dyeable heels, she wanted
silver anything but dyeable. (Our colors were lavender and silver). She also was
quite insistent that she didn't want dyeables, she wanted something "different"
and was DEADset on silver. Of course my fiancé had it easy. His groomsman just
asked where to go and what to pay.
Well,that day we finally found these shoes that were reasonably affordable
($30) and were heels. They had a clear band across the front with lavender rosettes of
fabric glued on, they were less informal than what I was looking for but I liked them. I
liked them so much I bought myself a pair. I called the girls to tell them where to go and
one of them couldn't get them in her size. So the hunt was back on.
I went back to what I wanted, strappy dyeables. I finally found them at the
local Lucky Shoes. They were exactly what I was looking for. So I have the sales girl make
a notation and called the girls to tell them where to go and to get fitted within the week
and warned them they would have to pay for the shoes up front...and they were $50. By this
point I didn't care, it was mid August and if they cared about the shoes they would have
made an effort to help me.
Of course I couldn't get a hold of my MOH. From shoe trading in High School
I knew she wore a 9 1/2. So I went in the last possible day I could order the shoes with
Angie (she of course was an hour and a half late meeting me there). She pays for her own
shoes and I had to order and pay for the remaining three.
After I left I FINALLY get a hold of my MOH and tell her that she needs to
take in either her wrap or a piece of cloth the next day before noon to dye to match the
shoes with. She said OK and that she could take care of that. I call later that week to
check on the shoes and I was told that they should be in within the week. Turns out though
that Kristy never took in the sample and that the shoes will have to go BACK out once they
get them in. I was furious. So I call Kristy and she insists that she had her mom do it.
After some sleuthing Lucky Shoes finds the swatch to match and assures me that the shoes
will be done by September 1st.
Then I call upon my neighbor whom was supposed to be a groomsman. Turns out
he doesn't think he can afford it nor does he have the time. I almost died. Luckily, one
of my very good friends that had just returned from the Marines said he'd gladly be a
By this time I was really debating kicking my MOH out. Thing is, I had no
one to replace her. I called the guestbook person and she said that if she had to she'd do
it. She said that she was perfectly happy being just the guestbook person but she'd help
me out if need be. I decided that I'd tough it out and hopefully my MOH would straighten
out. My Dad felt so bad for me by this point even HE was offering to take her place.
By this time I was even seriously considering my dog as a replacement.
A few days later she informs me that she kicked HER maid of honor out of HER
wedding and wants me to be her new maid of honor. She said instead of paying for the dress
for her wedding and her paying me back for the things I had paid for we would just call it
even. I agreed since the amounts were about the same.
Then Lucky Shoes calls back and tells me to inform my party that their shoes
were in. Since they were being sent out again for dying they wanted the girls to
come in and get the shoes fitted to make sure that is the size they need. Of course,
Rhianna, the last minute bridesmaid, couldn't fit into her shoes and I had to wait another
week for her new pair to come in. Angie and Carrie managed to get their shoes
fitted, only my MOH failed to show up. It was the first week of September and I was
loosing time I told the sales girl to go ahead and send the shoes out to be dyed and
if Kristy couldn't fit into them TOUGH.
It was then Labor Day weekend and my bachelorette party. I had been harping
on my MOH asking her who she was inviting and so forth and she kept telling me she was on
it. I asked her what she had planned and she said that we'd do whatever I wanted to.
Having NO faith in her, I made reservations at a local restaurant and the local comedy
club. Afterwards I decided we'd hit the bars and go home. I was content with that.
The days before the party I started worrying that my MOH would fall through
again so I told her that a friend of mine would gladly help if she needed it. She said OK
and that was all I heard. The night before I called her and made sure she was still going,
and she said she was and that she'd see me the next night. No offers to pick me up or
I arranged for a friend to come pick me up (who wants to be the DD at their
OWN bachelorette party?!?!?) We got to the restaurant and Carrie was there along with
three friends of mine. That's right, only ONE of my bridesmaids felt the need to
attend. At that, Carrie was only staying for the dinner. They informed me that
my MOH had just called them the NIGHT BEFORE to tell them about the party. I was so upset.
Before we showed up my guests were taking bets on whether or not my MOH would show up.
No call, nothing. Just did not show up. I called and left a message for her
at her parent's house. I contemplated screaming my head off but I decided to leave a
frantic, worried, is-she-ok message. One of my friends had the inkling Kristy wasn't going
to make it to the party so she had bought a "Last Night Out" T-shirt with all
these things you had to do on it. That was the extent of my bachelorette party
games. No fake veil, no "suck for a buck"; no penis shaped mints,
NOTHING. Just the T-shirt. So other than that it was more-or-less a girls
night out. zilla0523-01
Being in my best friend from college's wedding wasn't Hell, but the planning did
touch on the probability of my going there eventually. When she called to invite me
to be a bridesmaid "Margaret" said she wanted a full Lutheran service, Communion
and all. My parents don't believe in infant Baptism and I'm now a Unitarian, so I've
never been baptized. I was pretty sure that Lutherans don't let the un-baptized take
Communion and it certainly didn't seem appropriate to fake it, so I told Margaret.
She was aghast. She wasn't worried about the peril of my soul, but she
was very upset that I would ruin the symmetry of the wedding party. All of the other
maids and groomsmen would be taking Communion! Was I really sure I hadn't been
Baptized? Could I ask my parents again? Maybe my grandparents had had it done on the
sly? Nope, Nope, I countered. But I could have it done now! My own minister
obviously couldn't do it (it wouldn't "count") but there must be a dozen
churches in my area that could. It wouldn't take very long - it might not even cost that
much! Certainly wouldn't hurt! Flabbergasted, I told her I'd think about
She eventually dropped the idea of the full service, and I stood up with her as
full of Original Sin as ever. I suppose I had company - she was 2 weeks pregnant on
her wedding day.
The wedding meditation in the abbreviated service she went with also merits
comment - the minister compared marriage to the "Hotel California" and included
extensive quotes from the Eagles song. (The couple live in CA, but the wedding was in her
home state) Have my friends and I been misguided for years, or isn't the song about
cocaine addiction? zilla0618-01
My partner and I got engaged in July, Sam and
Lisa (our close friends) got engaged in December the same year, what happened
next is just bizarre.
At first we started planning a 1920's themed wedding set for
August, one week after telling Sam and Lisa of our plans they announced that they had
planned a 1920's themed wedding for April (the same year). I was upset but knew
I couldn't have the same wedding the same year as them because we would be inviting a lot
of the same people.
We then thought about it some more and decided to elope, have
a nice honeymoon and just get married while we where there. This was fine until Sam
and Lisa decided that they too would elope. By now I was starting to get more than a
little angry as once again they had set the date before ours, it seemed they where
determined to make it look like we had copied them.
After talking to my mother and explaining what had
happened again, she said that she would have been disappointed if we had eloped and
would prefer if we would consider having a wedding of some description that she could
attend. My partner and I talked about it and decided we didn't really want a
big wedding and as neither of us had really ever been to church we agreed on a
registry office wedding with only a few people attending and then just a big party to
Guess what, after letting a few friends know of our plans
suddenly Sam and Lisa are having a registry office wedding with only a few people
attending and a big party afterwards. Determined to have a wedding that was
different to theirs (remember it was to be in the same year and we have mutual friends) we
thought about it again set a date and started to plan and book everything
without telling people of our final plans. We decided on a reception hall with
a cocktail party on the 6th of October.
Two weeks after we had told Sam and Lisa of the date and our
plans, Sam phones my partner and says "What are you doing on the 6th of
October" to which he replied "Getting married" and Sam says "That's
funny so are we." When I found out I was hysterical how could they do this do
us and what about our friends would be forced to chose which wedding to attend. We
had already booked so many things for this day and in the end I just refused to change the
date because I was so angry at them.
We really thought they
would come to their senses and change the date but no they refused even after our mutual
friends said they couldn't go to their wedding as they had already said they would come to
ours. The wedding is only months away and we haven't spoken to them since. Now that
I have calmed down and stopped crying all I can say is I hope it doesn't rain on
their wedding day. zilla 0729-01