Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go

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Gimme Gimme

1999 Archive
Jan-Jun 2000 Archive


 

You think people asking for only cash for their wedding and shower gifts is tacky? Read this!

I have my own wedding planning clubs on the Internet and am a member of a few as well. We all discuss our ideas and plans and help out those who are stumped.  Well, a message showed up on all the clubs I am a member of entitled "Everyone wants a perfect wedding...". I thought it might be some great money-saving ideas to get exactly what you want...not quite.

This person left a rather short message and then a URL to her personal site regarding the subject. I clicked on the link and there was this long, drawn out explanation of this couple's love for each other and their financial predicament. This couple went on to, to be blunt, beg whomever was reading that page to send them money so they could have the perfect wedding.

Naturally, the members of the club were appalled, considering they were all scrimping and saving to have what they wanted and weren't asking for a thing. This person had her share of comments and insults due to her lack of class.

THEN, after this fiasco died down, she had the gall to come back and list all the things she was going to get...including a 14k gold headband for her headpiece and a gown that was, as she quoted, "Only $1000!" Seems a bit much for someone so finacially strapped due to her college bills.   egimme0120-00


I know that it's a very common custom to have a money dance, where women pay to dance with the groom and men pay to dance with the bride. While I think this is rather tacky, I usually pay up just to be a good sport.

Well, the last wedding we went to was rather large, and there was hardly any room left to pin money to the groom, so the woman in line in front of me got down on her knees and pinned a $5 bill right on his crotch!   egimme0121-00


A friend was invited to a wedding of a couple who had been living together for quite some time. They already had two kids together, but never quite made it to the altar. They were registered at a major department store in town. Among the usual things people register for (sheets, dishes, etc.), there was a whole section of stuff for their kids! Barney bedding, kiddie bath towels, etc.! Apparently their rational for gifts for the kids was that they didn't want the kids to feel left out when they were opening all their gifts!    egimme0128-00


First off love the site! I nearly lost my job over spending a whole week reading and re-reading all the hilarious stories. I wish I had found it sooner!

The one that stands out to me though is about a very dear friend of mine, it was her 21st birthday and she was having a party.  It was getting late in the evening nearly all the guests had arrived but there still seemed to be a few less than I knew were coming. I asked Sarah (the birthday girl) how many more people were to come. I was getting hungry by this stage and wanted to know how much longer until they brought out the food. It was a "dinner" party and I had been helping set up everything all day and had been too busy to eat so by this stage I was starving!

Sarah then turned to me and said, "There is 5 more presents to come." I nearly died! This is a woman of 21 expecting presents to come, not people! I then told her that I thought there was more than 5 people to come and she said , "Oh there is, there is 10, but all the couples coming are too stingy to buy me separate presents each." This comment made my blood boil! was this all we were to her? Presents! It made me feel really upset too since I had bought her a present which cost me nearly a week's wage (a lovely charm and necklace) and signed the card from me and my husband.  I did not know that couples were suppose to buy separate presents!

As the night when on, and everyone eventually got there, they finally (after about 3 hours since the party started) brought out the food - it was 2 large pizzas for 40+ people! Now it does not take a rocket scientist to work out that if there are 2 pizzas and 8 slices to a pizza and 40+ people, then hey some people are going to miss out.

Lucky for me, as soon as I found out that the only food they would be serving at this 21st birthday "dinner party" was 2 pizzas, I dived in and grabbed a slice. I still feel sorry for those poor people who missed out and went hungry all night. It's not like these people are poor, or trying to save for something. In fact they're quite wealthy, but it seemed to me like this "party" was just a present getting party and all us guests were the poor suckers who fell for it.   egimme0417-00


Dear Jeanne,

I recently received an invitation by regular mail to a "virtual" bridal shower. Basically it was a solicitation for gifts, including info on where the bride was registered and by what date the gifts should be mailed to her!

No online "virtual"  party. No "virtual" chat. No "virtual" shower site with games or interaction with other "guest". Just a bald face application for gifts from a person whom I don't know for a friend who has already received my RSVP politely declining her invitation.

I think I'm going to send a "virtual" gift.

Thanks for the site!                                 egimme0522-00


I'd like to start by saying I LOVE this website! Some of the stories are absolutely shocking and I cannot comprehend how some people behave the way they do. I have a story to add about my best friend in high school: "A" had a downright greedy side to her otherwise (seemingly) sweet  disposition. She had no shame in telling our mutual friends and me exactly what she expected to receive and how she wanted to be treated on her birthday, Christmas, etc.

For example, on her 18th birthday she demanded that her boyfriend have flowers and balloons delivered to our high school (we were seniors at the time) so she could parade them from class to class. This way, everyone would know it was her birthday. As for our friends and me, she made she sure she reminded us every day for a month prior to her birthday that the day was coming up. She strongly "hinted" (demanded) that she wanted to be "kidnapped" on the morning of her birthday (a lot of girls do this--we were to charge into her bedroom early in the morning, wake her up, dress her up in silly clothes/makeup, take her to breakfast, shower her with gifts, and parade her around school).

Well, being busy high school seniors, cramming for upcoming finals, working part-time jobs after school, etc., it was hard for my friends and me to really plan anything for a school day. Plus, we were all tired of hearing about her darn birthday coming up and didn't really want to give in to her demands. (Kidnapping is supposed to be a surprise--what's the fun in kidnapping a person if they're expecting it?) We decided that we would take her out the following weekend to celebrate. She did not like this and made sure that we all felt very guilty about not doing what we were told. She even told me that she "cried a little" when we didn't show up in the morning. She had been awake and waited for us!

Her boyfriend, rather reluctantly, did get her the balloons and flowers (Valentine's Day was coming up--he knew he'd have to do it all over again in a week! I'm sure he spent a fortune.) And that was just one in a string of many other birthday and holiday disasters. Needless to say, she and I are not best friends anymore. I still hear about her antics through mutual friends--same s***, different day. I guess some people never learn.    egimme0523(a)-00


When we recieved the invitation to niece Virginia's wedding, there was no registry card included. A few weeks later I called her mom to get the registry info. My sister-in-law,  who is the mob of the bride from hell said to me, "Do me a favor and give Virginia cash.  We have an agreement that she will give me all the cash she receives to help me pay for the wedding.  By the way the reception is costing $42.50 a guest.           egimme0603-00


Last summer, my girlfriend's brother (who used to be my friend, but that's another story) married a woman who committed so many egregious breaches of wedding etiquette that she may be deserving of her own section of your website. I've decided to tell the story I thought was most insulting - how she handled her bridal shower. The groom's mother had told the bride that she was going to give her 8 place settings (value approx. $500) as a shower gift, to which the lovely bride replied, "I wanted 14".  Then, 1 week later, the bride's mother called the groom's mother and said that she should give the happy couple an additional $500 so that they could buy a washer and dryer.

Unfortunately, my girlfriend's mother, being the sweet person that she is, gave them both the place settings and the money. The coup de grace was that neither the groom's mother nor any of the bridesmaids ever received thank-you cards for their shower gifts, while all the bride's family members and other shower guests were sent prompt thank-yous.

Great site. Keep up the good work.                      egimme0627-00