"I think this site is so underrated and
everyone needs to read a few posts and learn how not act. This whole site
serves as a wonderful cautionary tale of what not to do. "
Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jul-Dec 2000 Archive
Ok, I don't even know if this qualifies as a Faux Pas. but I think it
does. The Names have been changed in order to protect the not so innocent.
My Fiancé and I are still in the planning stages of our Nov. 2003
wedding and we have hit what I think to be a rather rude bump in the road.
It seems that the Best Man, Paul (the groom's younger Brother) thinks he
has some say in which we invite or don't invite to our Wedding. Because
his new wife Vicky runs their home like a Police state, she and he also
think that the way they live translates over into everyone else's life
Some time back in January or February of this year when we began to
share our good news with friends and family, strange rumblings of
"Will Vicky's parents be invited?" started to come from the
Groom's brother. At that time totally disregarded this because it was just
plain too early to worry about the guest list. We hear this a few more
times in passing (about 3, I think) over the next several months.
forward to June 2003, five months to the Big day, and we are having to
pare down the gust list as the costs associated with Weddings can get out
of control fast. We are splitting costs with my folks 50/50 and we not
being made of money can't invite the whole world. Keeping in mind that
I've had to cut 8 of my first cousins off the list to keep the final bill
reasonable. Feeling badly about this, my fiancé gives his brother a call
to see if it's cool not to invite his in-laws. Also keeping in mind that
neither my fiancée nor I know these people well, and don't really like
them either. Not even bothering to tell his brother about the issues we
have with his in-laws (these are the watch your purse type people, if you
catch my drift) we tell him they might not be invited. Still more to keep
in mind here, the brother, the sister and much to my shock the parent's of
the groom invited them behind our backs (sort of jumped the gun so to
speak). No one EVEN called to run it by us first. Everyone BUT the Bride
and Groom just mutually agreed upon the invitation of the sister in-laws
parents. We don't even rate a consult I guess.
But I digress, we call the
Best (or in this case maybe worst Man) to tell him we'd like to eliminate
the in-laws and he pulls a nutty on us (No I am not making this up, I wish
I was). He in his total stupidity says "But they are my family and
you just don't understand how upset Vicky will be, do you want her to
despise you?!" The groom-to-be tried to explain as nicely as possible
that the guest list for the wedding was not up for debate by the best man
or anyone else for that matter. Paul continued to attempt to justify the
invitation and the situation turned nasty and the groom is to say the
least is just horrified by this whole situation and also at the total lack
of class that his brother is showing. Sad but true, we have to cut people
that I share blood with from the list to make room for two total
strangers, and someone my fiancé says "Gives him the creeps".
A few years ago, my cousin, Allison, and her long-time boyfriend
decided to marry. Naturally, they invited everyone in our immediate
family, including my father (her uncle) and my step-mother, Melinda. My
often-divorced father and Melinda (his fourth wife) are wonderful people,
but they can be tacky sometimes. Because my family live in opposite sides
of the state, we didn't see Allison's family very often. My father and
Melinda had been married for about seven years at this time, but many of
my relatives did not know Melinda's children (from a previous marriage).
So, when Allison planned her wedding, she invited my father and step-mom,
but not my step-brother or step-sister. Melinda asked me if she thought if
it was okay if Felicity (her daughter) came to the wedding. I told her it
would not be appropriate because Allison had only met Felicity once many
years before, and they didn't know each other. Besides, Felicity wasn't
Well, Melinda ended up calling my Aunt (Allison's mother) and
asking her if Felicity could come. My aunt said yes, although she was not
the one planning or paying for this wedding (Allison and her fiancé
were), so this ticked off Allison. However, once she was invited, Allison
decided to take the high road and send Felicity an invitation.
before the big event, my father and Melinda were invited to the rehearsal
dinner. Felicity tagged along, thinking it was okay to attend this private
affair. Remember, Allison and Felicity had only met once, nine years
prior, when they were 16 and 12 years of age, and now Felicity was at
Allison's wedding rehearsal uninvited, when other people closer to her
weren't even there! At the dinner, Allison and her bridesmaids decided to
go out for drinks. Felicity invited herself to this event as well.
According to Allison, she and her friends feigned fatigue in order to get
rid of her.
The next day, at the beautiful wedding, We noticed that
Felicity was not in the church. She missed the entire ceremony because she
had to go back to the hotel to pick something up for my father. She
arrived when everyone was leaving the church. At the reception, my mother
(who is still close with Allison and my father's family), sister, and
myself were enjoying some cocktails before the newlyweds arrived. Felicity
sat with us, which is fine by my mother as everyone gets along great.
Felicity announced that she couldn't stay for the reception because she
was off to meet her long-distance boyfriend who lived in the area. My
step-mother, Melinda, had the nerve to ask the food server for a doggie
bag for Felicity's dinner!!! Tacky!!!! I think it is so tacky to invite a
person to someone else's wedding only to have that person miss the
ceremony and reception, then have the nerve to ask for a doggie bag!
Luckily, our family is easy-going, although we still have laughs over this
with Allison. Guest0414-03
My husband's family is very large and very close with the exception of
one of his cousins, I'll refer to her as "Lolita." Lolita never
shows up at family events or reunions unless they involve a meal and open
bar. She was also notorious for her "dirty-dancing" at such
family weddings and for one infamous time when she was caught (by the
groom) in the men's room with her then boyfriend in a very
When it was time to send out the invites for our
daughters wedding, we were very limited due to our large family, the
groom's large family and many good friends on both sides. When it came to
inviting family who did not have a significant other, we could not include
"and guest' I sent Lolita a single invitation, after finding out from
her sisters that she wasn't engaged or living with anyone. Four days
before the wedding, Lolita who has never set foot in my house for any
occasion, calls me to demand that her boyfriend of three months be
invited. I was in such shock, I sort of stammered and said that there was
really no room. She said " If it's a matter of money, tell me how
much the meal is and I will pay for his!!" I was so taken aback I
said, and in an angry tone, "Well just bring him then, I don't know
where we'll fit him,.." and before I could finish, she HUNG UP!!!!!
They both showed up at the wedding reception- - (not the church) she
looking like Charo with the hair extensions and a dress with a neckline
that plunged to her waist, dirty-danced, never ONCE came over to my
husband or myself, never ONCE went over to the Bride and Groom, and weeks
later, my daughter laughingly told me that they didn't bother to even give
a card (not that I ever even expected they would give a gift) My daughter
and son-in-law's day was beautiful and elegant and after the initial shock
of seeing her, we didn't give her another thought that day. Days later, as
we were watching her gyrate on the dance floor in the wedding video, my
husband said, "Damn, we should have sent her a bill for that
I wanted to add a post script to this story; When I reread it, I
realized it sounded like we expected our wedding guests to come to us at
the reception. We visited every table, as did the bride and groom, and the
lovely couple in question conveniently took off for the dance floor for
both visits. Her parents who are very sweet, apologized several times for
her behavior. The really sad thing is that she is not a teenager, but in
her late thirties!!
A story for your site, which we enjoyed very much!! It kept us
entertained for hours and made us really appreciate how wonderful our
wedding and showers were!
Sending non-verbal, ill-mannered messages . . . In May of last year, my
husband and I attended the wedding of a college friend. It was a gorgeous
Sunday; a Spring afternoon and the wedding was taking place at a beautiful
historic home under a bright, blue sky. Just before the ceremony started,
a young woman entered from the side of the seating arrangement waving and
calling out to people she knew, mainly the groom's side. Even without the
rude entrance, she would have called attention to herself. She looked
absolutely ridiculous for a pleasant, Sunday afternoon wedding, which was
by no means casual. Her hair was huge with curls. She wore bright red
lipstick and was dressed in black pants, a black slinky top with
rhinestone spaghetti straps and black, spiked heels. In all honesty, she
looked like she'd come straight from the club she'd been drinking and
dancing in the night before (and that IS putting it nicely).
were two women that I remember less, except they were both dressed in
black and seemed to take no interest in what was happening. They never
smiled and looked like they were attending a funeral, not a wedding. I'd
heard of insulting the bride by wearing white, but dressing like it was a
funeral and acting that way was really making a statement and it wasn't a
After the ceremony, while we were standing in the receiving
line, the young woman turned to me and said hello. I smiled, but couldn't
place her. However, when she told me her name, I instantly remembered. She
was one of the groom's ex-girlfriends and I had not seen her in about 6
years. She was, in fact, THE ex-girlfriend. The one he'd compared all
women to until he met the woman he married (whom no one compares to! =)
The two women with her were her mother and an older friend.
finished going through the line and got away from them, my husband said,
"Who was that again?" I said, "The groom's ex-girlfriend.
THE ex-girlfriend." He said, "When did they break up?" I
answered, "Years ago! She moved away. I didn't know she was
back." He said, "Isn't she over him yet? I mean, if it's been
years, why is she dressed like that?" We quickly agreed that she was
a walking advertisement for not being over the groom and against the
marriage. It was a message that no one seemed to miss!
reception, we noticed that the ex seemed to be lurking at the forefront of
everything. When they cut the cake, she was there, standing right in
front. When they had toasts, you couldn't miss her; she stood next to or
near the groom. Wherever the photographer was, she seemed to be there or
somewhere close in the background - I've oftened wondered if there were
ANY pictures without her in them! My husband and I left earlier than we
had originally planned (shortly before the newlyweds left), so the rest of
this story comes from several sources including the bride and groom and is
truly the worst wedding etiquette I've ever heard of . . .
once the reception started to wind down, the ex-girlfriend, her mother and
friend went about collecting all the flowers they could get their hands on
- centerpieces, arrangements, anything they could find. These were flowers
that the bride and her mother planned to give as thank-you gifts to
friends and family that had helped with the wedding. When the bride asked
the caterer where the flowers had been moved to so she could give them
away before she left, the caterer explained that a young woman, dressed in
black with curly hair and two women with her had gone around collecting
them while telling ALL the other guests that they were free for the
taking. Needless to say, the bride was mad and her mother was furious!!
The next day, the groom's new bride and MIL made him call the
ex-girlfriend and demand the flowers back. When the ex refused (saying the
flowers were hers!), he drove to her house and took them back, leaving the
ex crying. I guess he answered her etiquette with a little of his own!!
And, believe me, we ALL applauded him for it!!! Guest0131-03
To start off I just love your site. I have to tell my story … My
future MIL did almost everything for my wedding, my opinion was asked (and
respected) but she actually did most of the work. (my mom lives in another
state and my MIL is truly a wonderful woman). The guest list was rather
extensive since we both (future hubby and myself) had a lot of out of
state friends and family. We invited everyone … about 200 people. We got
"attending" RSVP’s from about 175, however, almost 250 people
showed up. No problem, there was tons of food – way more than could be
eaten even by 250 people. (it was a late afternoon appetizer and drinks
reception) The person this is about is the daughter of the college
roommate of my FIL.
We had done all the wedding party pictures before the
ceremony and before the guests arrived so that we could enjoy the
reception without the break for taking pictures. (not to mention leaving
the guests to wait – since the wedding and reception were at the same
place, a beautiful old antebellum mansion) After they had announced us and
my new husband and I were walking around and talking to the guests I
noticed every time I glanced to "Frank" this girl was following
him or talking to him. I thought it was a little odd and I asked my MIL
who she was. (I had not met her) She told me it was the FIL’s friends
daughter, and poor thing "Frank" was probably the only person
Okay … so I do not want to watch this girl follow my new
husband all over the place so I find the Best Man’s girlfriend
"Tanya" and take her over to be introduced to this girl. (Tanya
is one of those people that you can talk to for a minute and feel you have
known your whole life) She was more than happy to serve as a
"friend" to this girl. So "Frank" makes the
introductions and all is good … right? Wrong. A little while later I
look over and there she is again, and now she is flirting with him.
(you know, flipping her hair, touching his arm and pretty much
monopolizing him) I find "Tanya" and asked what happened and she
told me that right after Frank and I walked off the girl said she was
going for a drink and would be right back … right back to
"Frank" that is. Thinking I was getting a little paranoid I went
to the Best Man and asked if what I was thinking was true and he said,
"I’m surprised you haven’t started yelling, that girl has been
flirting with him for the past hour!"
Well, nothing worked to keep
her away from "Frank" even when I was with him she only toned it
down … but didn’t stop. I managed to not say anything (quite a feat
for me since I am very outspoken and not one to sit silently when
something is bothering me) since it was my wedding day I didn’t want to
make a scene. As "Frank" and I were getting ready to leave and
saying good bye to our parents this girl says to "Frank" as she
hands him her phone number "next time you’re in my city give me a
call and we can have dinner … or something." And then she gives him
this big naughty wink! Right in front of me and our parents!
("Frank" travels to the city she lives in for work about once a
month) My Mother, MIL, and my self just stood there with frozen smiles on
our faces … the men seemed oblivious. After we left I asked him for the
slip of paper with her phone number on it, he handed it to me and I
dropped it out the window of the moving car. (She called him a few years
later and as a result of his poor judgment we are now divorced – I still
miss his mom (she was appalled when she found out what her son had been up
I was asked by my English teacher--who is only six years older than
me and practically a friend (I call her by her first name, except when in
class)--to film her wedding, both the ceremony and the reception. "Meghan"
did not know her fiancé’s family very well, and during the reception, I
got the impression that the family was not nearly as close as the bride's
Anyway, I was one of the first people at the church. I set up my
equipment, and soon two girls arrived who I thought were the
bridesmaids--they were wearing formal dresses, the same cut but different
colors. One was wearing white gloves and both looked as if they had spent
quite some time getting their hair done. Well, they were soon sitting with
their husbands and the real bridal party arrived, at which point I
realized that these girls were "wannabe" bridesmaids (WB).
At school the previous week, Meghan had asked me to go around to all the
tables at the reception and film the guests congratulating/giving advice
to the newlyweds. (It was at this point I realized that the groom,
"Joe's," family was not a very close clan.) When I got to the
WBs' table, they talked into the camera almost endlessly about how they
used to play with Joe in the sandbox when they were kids--no
"Congratulations, Meghan and Joe!" In fact, they didn't address
or mention the bride once.
Later, Meghan and Joe posed for photos with various groups of guests--one
with Meghan's fellow teachers, one with the MOB's family, FOB's family,
MOG's family, etc. Both WBs were in the FOG's family picture. After their
picture was taken, the groom's aunt approached the photographer (without
consulting either Meghan or Joe) and said that she wanted a formal photo
of her family--including her daughters/nieces, the WBs, but not
including the bride or the groom. Meghan overheard this conversation, and
afterward, made it clear to the photographer that the only posed group
shots would be the ones including the bride and groom.
Fast-forward to the garter-toss. Due to a lack of single men, married men
were asked to come onto the dance floor. The wife of the man who caught
the garter was then asked to come up--surprise! It was one of the WBs. The
DJ announced that they would be reversing the roles--WB would be putting
the garter on her husband. Rather than slide it up over his pants, she
reached waaaay up there and got the garter on his thigh. Now, I'm filming
this, and I actually got a great shot, moving slowly up his leg. But once
WB got her hand out of hubby's pants, she reached over and gave his manly
parts a little squeeze, before I get a chance to zoom out.
When both WBs left about an hour later, Meghan did not look sad to see
Last spring, a friend of mine got married. We were both in the same
sorority at college, and I was aware of the hard times that she had had in
school. She ended up transferring to a school in different part of the
state, and we all lost contact with her. We ended up finding out that she
was having a baby and that she was getting married to the baby’s father
a month after she was due. She invited my room mate (who invited me along
as her "date" since I knew the bride), and one of her best
friends from "back in the day," who happened to be in our
sorority also. We'll call her Gina. Gina and the bride had been really
close for years, since they grew up together. They went to the same
college together, roomed together, and joined the same sorority. After
living together in the same house, their friendship started to falter.
After the bride had transferred schools, Gina spent most of her time
bashing her former friend. However, she decided to attend the wedding
anyway, and since her boyfriend had to work the day of the wedding, she
brought along another girl from our sorority.
They day of the wedding arrived, and we all left to drive the 4 hours to
the wedding. My roomie and I wanted to have a "good" time at the
wedding, so we rented a hotel room near the reception so that we could
partake of some adult beverages without having to worry about driving. We
invited Gina and her date to stay with us, and they said that they would
think about it.
We pulled into town an hour before the ceremony was set to start, so we
decided to grab a quick bite to eat. That’s when it started. While my
roomie and myself were all excited for the wedding (we had been painfully
aware of the brides problems back at our school, and we were happy that
she was finally happy), Gina and her date acted aloof. They barely
mentioned the impending nuptials (that we had driven across the state to
witness!), but talked about themselves and their boyfriends. Whatever.
We had a little trouble finding the site of the ceremony, but we
eventually located it. It was held in this beautiful park on a lake. I
later found out from a friend who lives in that same town that that area
where the wedding was held is pretty well known for the drug deals that go
down in it. However, it was the perfect setting for a daytime wedding.
The wedding was very small, with the brides mother and step father and
grandmother the only family members in attendance from her side, and the
grooms mother and siblings there on his. They had invited a few friends
from school, and then there was us. One of the more important
"guests" was the bride and grooms newborn daughter, who behaved
beautifully. The ceremony was short, and was half Jewish, half Catholic.
Gina later would mock the bride about including the Jewish parts in the
ceremony, saying "she's not really Jewish. She just likes to claim
At the dinner after the ceremony, the bride and her mother tried to
reconnect with Gina as much as possible. They asked about her family,
about when she was graduating, and all the common questions that you ask
when you haven't seen someone in over a year. Gina happily answered
them...and continued to talk about herself for the rest of the dinner. She
told us (and the poor friends of the groom who were seated at the same
table as us) all about her mothers rabbit farm, about her brothers
girlfriend, about her boyfriends mother giving them strollers...it was a
constant non-stop stream of me, me, me! She never stopped to ask the bride
about her life, or the mother about hers. She just continued to talk about
herself. Her date just sat there and scowled the entire time.
were eating dinner, Gina showed her horrible table manners. She reached
across plates to grab an item, she ate sliced beef with her fingers, and
then there was the topper. While eating and talking about herself, she
dropped some mash potatoes down the her dress. While most people with some
class would excuse themselves from the table to remove the food from their
cleavage, she proceeded to dig it out right then and there. It was
horrible. After dinner was cleared away, Gina announced that she and her
date were going to drive the 4 hours back to school right then and there.
It was already 7pm...and the drive wasn't exactly a fun one during
daylight. But whatever. I was secretly glad that they left. My roomie and
I had to make excuses for their absence, but I think that bride was glad
that they left too. We all knew that they basically came for the free
dinner. Too bad they didn't stay. The brides mother had rented a room in a
popular bar and proceeded to feed everyone alcohol. It was great to get to
hang out with the bride again. My relationship with Gina and her date has
dwindled as of late....they are still too wrapped up in themselves.
This happened at the reception of my friend's wedding. He is Japanese,
she Chinese so it was a large gathering at a prominent Chinese restaurant
in Chinatown. As in most Chinese restaurants, this one posted the names of
the parties, the type of gathering it was (i.e., wedding, birthday, etc.)
along with the assigned banquet room number. Once arriving at the
restaurant, my friends and I found our table and proceeded to sit down.
Soon thereafter other people began sitting at our table, these people were
of Chinese descent and were of the same age as me and my friends (early
Just before dinner began a very well dressed elderly Chinese man
sat at one of the 2 empty seats at our table and promptly said something
in Chinese. Well those of us who are Japanese certainly didn't know what
he said but then neither did the other 3rd generation Chinese! We all
figured he was an old family friend of the bride's family and proceeded to
enjoy course after course of delicious Chinese delicacies. Then just
before the final 2 courses, the gentlemen left the table. No one thought
much of this until we'd finished the meal and he had not returned. After
dinner when the bride and groom dropped by our table, we mentioned this
older gentleman and told the bride we all figured he must have been a
relative or old family friend from her side since he was Chinese. The
bride was puzzled and said she didn't know him and mentioned that her
parents had seen the man and casually wondered who he was too - then the
groom started laughing. When he finally stopped he explained the gentleman
was most likely just a man off the streets who basically fed himself by
getting all dressed up, going into the restaurants and reading the names
and types of events going on and when he found a Chinese name, he'd go sit
at a table near the back that was comprised mostly of younger people (who
hopefully wouldn't know how to speak Chinese and would think he was an
elderly family friend) and he'd start to eat but was sure to leave just
prior to the completion of the banquet in order to avoid getting caught.
When our friend told us this is most likely what happened, we were amazed
but then joked that the gentleman left before the best part!!
You don't seem to have a "Best Men From Hell" category but
maybe you should as this is on story on that theme.
My husband, dear soul that he is, is lucky to be a heterosexual male
because I've found he generally has lousy taste in men! Exhibit A -- his
best man, that I'll call Durwood...Durwood is a recently remarried, though
still extremely Catholic, man who had problems with his first wife because
of his extreme right-wing views of women...he would argue, for instance,
that it should be national policy that women be paid less so they will be
induced to stay home with the children where they belong! His second wife,
who I'll call Jade, who he married after a scant 6 weeks of dating, is
from an Asian country where they still buy into the subservient role, but
are also masters (mistresses?) of manipulation...she also is extremely
Catholic...he is also trying to take his children away from his first wife
(because where she's attending medical school is not in a desirable
neighborhood!) and trying to argue to the judge that his child support
payments should be "grandfathered" to the exact amount they were
when they were first divorced and he made considerably less than he does
now! He also wants any gifts he gives them to be counted as part of his
child support payment!
Anyway...the only things my husband and I ever argued about during the
planning of the wedding were related to the best man...the biggest
argument was over the issue of children, specifically his two small
children and new 3 month old baby by wifey #2...I insisted on a child-free
wedding and all my friends with children totally understood and were even
grateful to have an adults only event to go to...my husband is shy and
hates confrontation, while the BM is pushy...he kept on insisting that his
wife be allowed to bring the baby since she was so attached to her and
that "if" the baby cries (IF?! HELLO!!! This is a 3 month old
baby! Naturally she's going to cry more than once in the course of 5
hours!) Jade will just take her out of the room...problem is that the
wedding and reception were both held in a restaurant in an old and
beautiful mansion where all the rooms are small and connected -- there is
no "out of the room"...
Well my head is harder than the BM's and I prevailed...however, Jade
decided she'd stay home with the baby and his kids, even though we offered
to pay for a babysitter...this irked me as we had attended their wedding
(when we still hadn't met her yet), their baby shower, christening party
He did manage to behave like a proper best man and friend to my husband
(though I did catch him checking his watch during the ceremony) but his
gift was a regift from his marriage and the card consisted of a blank
sheet of paper with a short "best wishes" sentiment handwritten
on it! Guest0205-03
When I got married, my then husband and I were on a limited budget and
planned a modest little wedding at the local inn. Everything went
splendidly until after dinner, when I looked up to discover my SIL and MIL
with Styrofoam trays in their hands, scraping their plates into them!
Apparently they had asked the waitress for boxes so they could take their
leftovers home to the dog! They didn't stop at their own table, either,
they proceeded to approach the other guests for their leftovers, too!
(Okay, maybe I'm being too hard on them, and maybe this isn't a breach of
etiquette, but I've NEVER seen this happen at ANY other wedding I've been
too.) Still, I thought, we were all there to have a good time, and making
a fuss wouldn't do anyone any favors at that point.
After dinner had been
cleared away, the problems hadn't. Because we were on a limited budget, we
made our own tapes and brought a stereo system so that we could have music
for dancing. (One of my bridesmaids worked at a music store and loaned us
an amp, another friend had a mixing machine that professionally mixed our
tapes). This seemed to work out well for everyone, the dance floor was
full and everyone was enjoying themselves. Everyone, except my SIL, who
had an objection to the volume of the music and proceeded to slap one of
my close friends in the face when he tried to adjust the volume on the
The boyfriend of one of my bridesmaids was unable to attend the
ceremony or dinner because of work (he was a struggling student, and I
knew that missing work even for one day would cause him hardship, so that
was totally understandable). I told him that he was more than welcome to
drop by after work if he felt up to it and join us for a drink. I told him
that his friend would be welcome to join us for a drink, too, if he
wanted. By then dinner was over and it was more like a big house party
than a formal affair...I certainly didn't see a problem in that and
neither did H...but his brothers had a BIG problem with that. When the
boyfriend and his friend walked in, I overheard the brothers say something
to the effect of "Who are those a**h**es, they weren't invited".
I had to tell them that I had invited them, and H spent a lot of time
reasoning with them as they were actually going to take these guys outside
and beat them up for "crashing" our wedding!
Needless to say,
the marriage didn't last very long. (MIL, SIL, and BSIL were all a
nightmare to deal with). My father often jokes about H's family acting
like a bunch of hillbillies at the wedding...I always correct him and
point out that it's an insult to hillbillies to compare them. Hillbillies
would have much better manners, of that I'm certain.
I have a very good friend who
is by no means a bright girl. Let's call her "Katie". She is
nice enough, but when it comes to thinking things through, she's dumber
than a box of hammers. Although happily ensconced with a live-in
boyfriend, she had a minor indiscretion with a former high school
sweetheart, who by the way, was also in a "happy" long term
relationship. Needless to say, "Neil's" girlfriend finds out
about this and is absolutely furious. Although they are all familiar with
one another, in some miracle, this news doesn't get around to Katie's
boyfriend so they carry on as normal.
Anyway, the happy news arrives last
month that Neil and his girlfriend are getting married. Katie doesn't
receive an invitation (big surprise there). But that didn't stop her, oh
no! She actually gets a mutual friend (a girl) to ask Katie to go to the
wedding AS HER DATE in order to show up and toast the happy (or soon to be
not so happy) couple. I tried to talk her out of it, but she was so
blindingly stupid that she believes that Neil intended to invite her but
forgot, so she'll get to the wedding any which way she can. Can you even
imagine walking down the aisle on the happiest day of your life to see
your soon-to-be-husbands mistress standing in the pews!
My cousin was getting married in a church very close to where my
husband and I live and I was very excited about the prospect of getting a
Wedding invitation. I thought maybe she would send one to me, but since we
haven't really been close, I understood if she didn't. My mother received
an invitation and I did not, that was fine, I had no problem with that. My
mother called me and asked if I had received and invitation and I said no
but it was no problem, I understood. My mother calls me back a few weeks
later and tells me that her invitation was meant for her, myself and my
husband, so we prepare to go to the wedding and reception. My mother
assures me that we are invited to both and that it is no problem. We send
an expensive gift to the happy couple and wait for the wedding day.
Fast forward to the wedding day. We attend the wedding, it was nice and
We drive to the reception with my mother and have the pre meal cocktails
and food and then the hotel releases us into the main dining room. There
are placecards and of course there were none that were assigned to my
husband and I. Embarrassing to say the least! When the bride saw us she
gave us a look like "what are you doing here you aren't
invited". At that point we should have left. My mother scrambles to
find placecards for people that didn't show and we are able to sit at the
table with her in someone else’s seats. (wrong on our part).
through the dinner, one of the guests shows up that the seat belongs to.
We try to get him to sit at an empty seat at another table. (very wrong on
our part). He comes back and demands his seat and we have the wait staff
get him a chair and place setting. The staff was not happy about this
since every meal was paid for in advance. We obviously were not supposed
to be there and were not invited and just tried to make the best of it. We
should have left right away but since we were with my mother we were kind
of forced to stay.
I found out later that my mother just told us that we were invited and
kind of assumed that the invitation covered guests. We never got a thank
you for our expensive gift, (and we don't blame the couple). My mother was
just trying to bring us all together and ended up pushing us all apart.
the lesson learned is to never presume someone else's invitation extends
to you, no matter what they say.
His mother wants to invite, to our small, private wedding, 87 people.
Her proper share, according to etiquette, is about 20 people. She insists
that her guests would be "insulted" if some of them weren't
invited. Imagine being one of those guests, arriving at the wedding, and
realizing that none of the guests knows the bride - or the groom - only
the groom's mother. Any decent person would find that frightfully
embarrassing. THAT would be an insult, embarrassing your friends like
that. The best part is that it's 87 guests - this week. She keeps fighting
with her "friends" and changing her mind about whom she's
inviting. That's not "insulting" them?? Guest0626-03
I have never heard a
specific number such as "20" being the magic number for how many
guests the parents are permitted to invite. That number can be
determined by numerous factors including budget, relationship, etc.
As for guests arriving at the wedding not knowing anyone but the groom's
mother, one would assume they would have read the names of the bride and
groom on the invitation, realized this weeks prior and declined if
they thought they would be embarrassed.
Love the site. It's provided me with a great deal
of entertainment. I
have a story for you and I just hope it's enough to make the cut. My
husband and I got married on June 1 last year. For all the drama beforehand, the wedding came out beautifully with no real problems. The problem
comes up at the reception. Now a little background here, my grandmother
had just died a few months before the wedding and there was some
unpleasantness between my mom and her sister, my aunt J, namely my aunt
trying to walk out of the house with several of my grandmother's
possessions that had not been willed to her. However, I had
asked my cousin, J's daughter, to be a bridesmaid. My mom and my aunt
agreed to put all their differences aside and be civil for the wedding.
Well, the truce seemed to hold out. However, this truce didn't apply to my
aunt's friends, it seems. One of her friends from high school showed up at
the reception. I didn't know this woman and she was not invited. She
helped herself to the food, the beer, and started insulting people. She
also decided that this would be a good time for her to berate my mother
for the "horrible way she treated J after (my grandmother)
died." She yelled at my mom for twenty minutes and finally had to be
escorted out by my father and a few couple of my cousins who were built
like linebackers. It's a good thing that my husband and I were still
getting our pictures because I would have been much less polite. It's
never a good idea to mess with the bride on her wedding day. Well, anyway,
thanks for the laughs. Guest0209-03
My younger sister got married Jan. 4, 2002. The ceremony went off
beautifully, and the reception as well, with two small exceptions. The
reception was held in a large ballroom of a lovely hotel. Apparently,
there was another wedding party next door to our reception. During the
first hour of the reception, people from that party snuck over to ours and
took their fill of the open bar's wine and beer. Several people overheard
these party crashers commenting that they should have come to this wedding
instead of the other, because of the free alcohol.
Later, during our
dancing and fun, I noticed several young teenage girls on the dance floor
whom I was not familiar with. Mind you, my entire family, as well as that
of my new brother in law, were nicely dressed in suits, tuxes, etc. These
girls were wearing tight tee shirts and jeans and whooping it up with
bottles of beer in their hands. I asked my sister, "Do you know those
girls?" She said no, and proceeded to ask them why they were in our
reception. One of the girls said, "Oh, we were at the wedding next
door, and it was boring. The guy at the door said we could come in
here." My sister politely asked them to leave. They made sure to grab
their beer and exited quickly. The hotel staff got an earful from my
stepmother shortly thereafter, and the rest of the night went as planned.
Oh boy. I've worn some ugly bridesmaid dresses but nothing like those
monstrosities that you have up! I was pleased that you sent some of my
ex-housemates into etiquette hell after they catted their way through a
friend's wedding. Since I submitted that story there has been more to the
ongoing saga of Wedding etiquette hell. I'm not sure whether this fits
under "roommates," "bridezilla (to be)" or
"guests." Just a bit of background. These people (Who I will
call Tacky Twit A and Tacky Twit B.) are actually nice and normally
polite. There is one occasion when they turn into the raving, drooling,
etiquette demons from hell: weddings.
Both TTA and TTB have dreamed about
their weddings since they were five. When I lived with them they would
discuss logistics of flowers, music and pleasing family for HOURS on end.
They would talk about how because of their awful tribulations in life
(they missed a prom, they were ten pounds overweight, etc.) they were
entitled to a princess-perfect wedding which would make their lives all
better. After the wedding they would have some prince who would take care
of them and pamper them and they would go on to have 1.5 well-mannered,
sweet-tempered children. They would have these pity/entitlement parties at
least once a week. It drove me NUTS! These women were both attractive and
had men interested in them - but their senses of entitlement scared the
swains off quickly. Second dates were rare and third dates were unheard of.
But still they planned, planned, planned their weddings as if they were
six weeks away.
A woman who I will call Grace got married. It was a modest
and casual wedding as she had just buried her brother. She invited guests
to drop by for light hors d'ouvres and encouraged people to bring friends
or invite anyone who had been missed. It was tasteful and I understood
that she didn't want anything formal or showy since her family was trying
to recover from their shock. I thought the casual atmosphere was a good
idea since the family was relaxed and smiling for the first time in
Well TTA and TTB spent the whole wedding going on and on about how
low-class and cheap the wedding was. I was ready to hide in a potted
plant, I was so embarrassed to be with them! They continued this
performance at several other weddings. It took me awhile to realize that
they were just jealous of everyone getting married. They felt that they
"deserved" a good wedding and husband and it made them mad to
see other women happily married.
Recently I heard that "Sally"
(a good friend of Grace) was getting married. I only casually knew her and
I didn't get an invitation. TTA asked me if I was going. She told me,
"You have to go! EVERYONE is going." I assumed that Sally was
having the same casual wedding that Grace did. People had such a good time
at Grace's reception that many friends used the same idea for theirs. So I
made plans to go. I went over to TTA & TTB's house so we could drive
together. While I was there, all dolled up and ready to go, TTA snickered,
"I really suppose I should have RSVP'd - not that it matters."
At this point my jaw was bruised by the floor. I asked to see the
invitation and saw that it was indeed a formal invitation to a sit down
dinner. I pointed out that I didn't think it appropriate that I attend.
They pleaded with me, they told me I was "spoiling everything."
They even told me, "Who cares if it's rude? She should have invited
you anyway." After many more pleas, it finally came out that they
wanted to show up in my boyfriend's car which was nicer than TTB's
clunker. They went. I didn't.
I saw them the next day and they said,
"You should have come. Rude Rhonda and her husband didn't show and
you could have covered for them. By the way, you and boyfriend are getting
serious. Make sure the groomsmen are cute and available. We both look good
in green, but make sure you consult us about shades." The boyfriend
and I did get married recently. We decided to keep the guest list to
family only since that already swelled the ranks to 80 people. We kept it
simple: no bridesmaids, simple flowers, a simple dress, neither of us
really cared about having a "princess for a day" sort of affair.
TTA & TTB have both seen the pictures and commented, "Well I
suppose it's not so bad for a really cheap wedding." That's supposed
to be a complement. I had it at a five-star restaurant on the waterfront.
I opted for seafood. It wasn't a full-blown 50K affair but it was a good
chunk of money.
Now I have to confess that I too deserve to be in
etiquette hell. TTA and TTB have both been having financial problems from
living lifestyles that they "deserve" rather than those they can
afford. After hearing their rude, condescending, comments through every
wedding, I am hoping they get married just so they can discover that they
can't even afford my cheap wedding! Guest0415-03
I love this website, it has many humorous stories about people who
simply don't have any manners. This story is about my cousin who was
married in the summer of 2000. My sister's boyfriend at the time, and very
soon to be ex-boyfriend, we will call him "Country Bumpkin", was
very improperly dressed for the wedding. However, this is not the real
kicker. During the reception, he decided to start dancing with and kissing
a girl at the reception other than by sister. When my cousins lectured
him, he began to cry right during the reception! Needless to say, my
sister and him broke up very shortly after that.
At my cousin's wedding in the summer of 2000, my sister brought along
her ex-boyfriend, we will call him "Country Bumpkin". Although
this is a different story, he didn't dress up very much for the wedding.
But anyway, at the reception, my cousins caught him dancing and kissing a
different girl (other than my sister) on the dance floor. They pulled him
aside and lectured him. My sister found out and pulled him aside, and
"Country Bumpkin" burst out into tears and embarrassed the hell
out of all of us. He then decided to argue with her at my own cousin's
reception, the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of her life.
Needless to say, my sister broke up with "Country Bumpkin" about
a week or so after the wedding. Guest0325-03
Although I've been married a number of years, this still makes me laugh
when I think about this! My husband and I got married in a fairly
expensive area of the country, and the reception was held at an up-scale
country club. There were the usual minor mishaps and misbehaviors, but
nothing to terrible and despite the tacky outfit of one guest (black
leather gown???), the whole thing went off fairly well. My new husband and
I departed for our honeymoon the next day feeling quite pleased with the
entire event. Years later I learned that one guest and her spouse, who
happened to be a close relative of the groom, drove to the wedding from
another state in their extremely large RV. They actually parked it in the
parking lot of the country club prior to the reception, directly out
front, and spent the entire night there! I don't know how my husband and I
didn't notice but the rest of the guest certainly did and they have
apparently been talking about it ever since. Guest0604-03
4 years ago, two not-so-close-friends of mine got
married; let's call them Catherine and Dave. They were (and probably still
are) very nice people, who, though seemingly egocentric, not really are -
it's just their facade. Anyway, these two had met in an organization, of
which I also was a member, and at that time, there was a woman, let's call
her Mona, in this organization too. The couple, in particular Catherine,
had been helping Mona a lot during the years; all of us were students on a
shoestring budget, and Mona kept saying that she was so happy to have
Catherine as her best friend. True, they hang out a lot together, and when
Mona got an apartment, Catherine helped moving, painting etc. Mona didn't
help when Catherine and Dave got an apartment though, but that could have
been because she thought the happy couple would like to build their nest
themselves, who knows? All in all, Catherine was a huge support for Mona,
whenever she was low on money or needed emotional support (which happened
4 months before the wedding we all got our invitations from
Catherine and Dave. There were to be a party for the family and a smaller
reception after the dinner, where friends could attend. Nobody questioned
this, they were both students, and since we weren't that close friends
but only knew each other from years of volunteer work in this
organization, we thought it nice even to get an invitation. About 10
people from the organization teamed up to buy a neat present for the
couple. Mona stated when asked that she had already bought a present, so
she wouldn't join this collective present. OK, fine with us.
The day came,
we went to the church for the ceremony and a toast outside the church. No
Mona. In the evening, the reception started. No Mona. Catherine was
furious; it turned out that Mona - who kept saying that Catherine was her
best friend ever - had sent a parcel with a gift the day before, wishing
them a nice day and apologizing that she couldn't attend. The reason?
Mona, the poor, low budget student, went to a Star Trek convention in the
USA (this takes place in Europe, mind you). She had signed up for this 2
months before the wedding, not telling anybody. On top of it, the present
contained... two wooden egg-cups at a value of $1 each at a max, wrapped
in reused wrapping paper. So the p*sspoor student who couldn't afford a
gift valued at more $2 could afford a cross-Atlantic trip while her
so-called best friend got married. Needless to say, Catherine and Dave do
NOT have anything to do with her anymore.
Several years ago, I was a bridesmaid in a relative's wedding. The
wedding was beautiful but there was one thing that bothered me and was the
talk of the wedding party. A recently-divorced guest had the nerve to show
up at the wedding wearing a very short (I'm talking mid-thigh) white lace
dress with a tight skirt! That wasn't in good taste.
Dear Jeanne, What a lovely site you run! Here's a story that's a bit
long and I'm not sure what category it fits into. J and M's wedding was a
semi-formal civil ceremony held in a fancy restaurant. It was scheduled
for 9PM with the reception immediately following. The ceremony went well
and was quite lovely. Not so much the reception. While there was nothing
really wrong with it, I had a terrible time due in large part to the MOG.
Let me explain a few things.
I have several allergies, two of which are
relevant here: sea food and fish. If I eat sea food my whole body swells
and I stop breathing. With fish the reaction is less severe, mostly some
swelling and a rash, but it's still very unpleasant. So guess what was on
the menu? Right. An all sea food and fish dinner: deviled oysters, cream
of salmon soup and grilled shrimp on a bed of rice. Now, in my country
it's not customary to offer a choice of entrees along with the invitation
or RSVP cards, nor is it customary to disclose the menu in advance. Had I
known what was being served, I would have eaten supper before the wedding.
But I had no way of knowing.
The prospect of bread and wine and dessert
not being appetizing, I thought I'd inform J and M I'd step out for a
quick bite and then return for the rest of the reception. J informed me he
was aware of my allergies and had ordered a different entree for me. Well,
that was very thoughtful of him and I stayed. The entree turned out to be
fried trout, which I couldn't eat either. Apparently J thought I was
allergic only to seafood (and that's why he had not ordered a different
soup, either). I was annoyed, but not offended, as I didn't expect J to
keep a record of my health problems. But I was also hungry and told them,
again, I'd have to step out and be back as soon s possible. J and M were
ok with this and apologized profusely for getting the wrong entree. I know
declining the food provided by the hosts and going elsewhere to eat is bad
etiquette, but I felt justified in this case.
As I was grabbing my purse,
the MOG tells me I'm an ungrateful wretch with no manners and that I
should eat what's put in front of me and like it. I began to explain about
my allergies but she didn't want to listen. She went on to tell me she had
never liked me and how glad she was her son found someone better than me
to marry. This floored me because while J and I were close friends,
neither he nor I had ever shown any romantic interest in each other. I
told her how sorry I was about the food, but I couldn't possibly eat it.
Allergies are serious things. She still didn't want to listen to that and
very loudly ordered me out. I did leave because I didn't want to add to
the scene the MOG had already caused. Well, J came running out after me,
apologized profusely about his mother's behavior and begged me not to go.
A few of our other friends also came out. Two of them offered to accompany
me to a fast food place so I wouldn’t eat alone (they confided later
they don't like sea food).
About a half hour later we returned to the
reception (we missed dessert and the cutting of the cake). The MOG ignored
me for most of the night until the parents of the bride came over to say
what a pity it was I couldn't eat at the reception. I explained about my
allergies to which the FOB said I was right (he is a surgeon and
understands these things). The MOG, sitting nearby, loudly yelled that
"a little rash never killed anybody." The FOB tried explaining
to her just how life and death serious allergies can be, but she didn't
listen to him either. Since then I've made it a practice to make discreet
inquiries regarding the menu at weddings and other social functions.
I think you handled an awkward situation very
At the time of my first marriage, I worked for a board of directors. At
the board meeting prior to my wedding , I was asked (during the meeting)
if the preparations for my upcoming wedding were going well. I responded
that everything was on track, with the wedding only a few days away. I
married on my 31st birthday at a lovely Bed and Breakfast/Restaurant that
was in the Victorian style. We reserved the entire facility for the
evening so that the ceremony and reception (a formal dinner) could take
place at the same location. The seating was limited, so I had to limit the
number of invitations. For example, I could invite all my aunts and uncles
(9 sets), but could not invite my cousins.
In spite of careful
preparation, there were a few people who had RSVP'd that they would
attend, who (in fact) did not. Lo and Behold! Here comes my employers, the
board of directors, who proceed to look for an empty place setting (there
is assigned seating), sit down and order dinner with the rest of the
INVITED guests. I had invited none of them. The clincher: After a week
long honeymoon, I returned to work for the first day. Here was the board
again! What a surprise! This time it was to fire me for reasons I still
don't understand---------congratulations. Guest0625-03
Let me start by saying that my husband and I have been happily married
for 15 years. However, when we were married, I was three months pregnant.
Not ideal but there it is. My husband is a wonderful man. His family is
outgoing and spontaneous, and they are always trying to be funny.
Sometimes they are funny, sometimes not. For example, scenes from my
wedding: Hubby's oldest brother lived out of town and I had never met him.
He didn't RSVP, so hubby had to call to find out whether he was coming.
Brother said he wouldn't be able to make it, and told hubby he should have
worn a condom.
Hubby's sister and her husband had us over for dinner
before the wedding to welcome me to the family. While we were eating,
sister starts providing graphic details of her recent miscarriage. Really,
really gross details. We managed to change the topic eventually.
before the wedding, my husband's two other brothers showed up on his
doorstep, completely drunk and singing loudly at 2:30 am, wanting to have
a visit and wish him luck. After a few hours, the brothers ended up
passing out on the couch and floor, and hubby only managed a couple of
hours sleep before the wedding.
The wedding ceremony goes off without any
problems. At the reception, one of my husband's uncles tried to throw a
grape into my cleavage during dinner. It hit me on the cheek. Welcome to
the family. Lastly, my husband is still embarrassed at how he started his
speech after dinner. It was along the lines of "I'd like to thank the
most important person here ...(pause for effect)... my grandmother!"
Hubby's family is nice enough, you just need a good sense of humor and
thick skin. Guest0308-03
At my wedding (almost ten years ago now) my stepbrother-in-laws
girlfriend allowed her children to run around selling chocolate bars at
the reception. Just about everyone bought one but when they came up to me
I said " I'm sorry girls but this dress doesn't exactly have pockets
in it and if you notice I'm not carrying a purse". Their mother later
called me a "cheapskate"! Thankfully my stepbrother-in-law
dumped her about 6 months later. Guest0212-03
After reading your site for a little while, I decided to submit this
gem of a "Guest from Hell" story. I was at my friend from high
school, Jane's, wedding. The liturgy was fantastic, wonderfully planned.
One of the readers was another good friend of ours - Gina. She did
fantastically at reading. What she didn't do so fantastically at was being
We get to the reception hall and she starts chugging down beers
from the bar. Eventually the bartender just gave her a pitcher (which she
refilled several times). This, in itself, would have been ok - she wasn't
that sloppy of a drunk and no one would have noticed... until, after the
bridesmaids gave a very sweet toast, Gina bursts into hysterics. She,
several friends from high school, my boyfriend and I are seated at a table
together right next to the head table. Now, the crying isn't the problem -
the problem is what she starts saying. "Why does everyone else get to
do something? Why am I not special?" This starts off small and quiet
and escalates into LOUD yells, in between obvious sobs of "I should
g*dd**n be a bridesmaid, not those girls!" (Now, Jane had happened to
not have any of us from high school as a bridesmaid because she didn't
want to hurt any one of our feelings by not picking us, and Gina was asked
to do the reading.)
Everyone at our table and around ours is astonished.
Not only this, but Gina gets up and walks around the room wailing and
refuses to sit down until finally, I steer her outside (looks like now I
am my 22 year old friend's baby-sitter) I try to calm Gina down. I have
her get fresh air, give her glass upon glass of water. She seems to be
fine again. I say to her, "Gina, I think John (my boyfriend) and I
will be going home now." It wasn't that I wanted to leave, but Gina's
behavior was atrocious and she had stated she wasn't leaving until I left.
So, we go back in to say goodbye the bride - I apologize for Gina's
behavior and tell Jane we are all leaving while Gina says goodbye to the
Groom. Then Gina comes to say goodbye to Jane. Instead of trying to pull
herself together a bit, she looks Jane in the eye and says "I have
known you for years, and you didn't pick me for a bridesmaid. I am so
disappointed." and then teeters and totters out of the room. It was
My son (David) and his girlfriend (Angela) decided to get married,
Angela's parents were quick to point out that they couldn't afford to pay
for the wedding as her father was unemployed. My younger son and I are
disabled so my husband has to stay home and look after us therefore we are
not well off either but David had had a rotten few years resulting in a
kidney transplant and we wanted him to have a day to remember so we
offered to pay for the wedding on the understanding that it wouldn't be a
huge, fancy affair.
The two families got together to plan the big day I suggested that we
budgeted for 100 guests in total, the bride-to-be's mother said that was
too many and surely 80 was more affordable. The cost per head was £35 and
what you should understand is that financially we survive from week to
week so every penny had to be saved, there was nothing in the bank and no
spare cash at all. We could have had it in a cheaper hotel but the bride's
mother wanted her daughter to be married in the same hotel that she was
married in so we agreed. So the venue and numbers were agreed and we
decided that it would be easier if we sent out the invitations for our
side and Angela's parents sent out the invitations for their side.
2 weeks before the big day I phoned to see if the brides family had the
final acceptance numbers for their side and was told yes there were 58 of
their friends and family coming, I was speechless!! I pointed out that we
had agreed on a total of 80 guests assuming that meant 40 from each side
to which I was told that once they started writing out the invitations
they realized that there were people that they just couldn't not invite. I
asked why they hadn't thought it necessary to ask or even tell us, and
would they be willing to pay for the extra guests. I was told that we
shouldn't have offered to pay for the wedding if we didn't want to and
they had no money for the extra guests, if we couldn't cope with the
numbers the we would have to uninvite guests from our side as they
couldn't possibly lose anyone from theirs, apparently it was far more
important that all Angela’s side was there as it was her big day and
The end result was that we had to uninvite 18 people from our side and the
bride's mother the whole day being congratulated on a lovely wedding!!!
Hindsight is always 20/20 but the lessons to be
learned here are:
1) He who pays for the wedding controls the guest
list, the venue, the menu. It's considerate to include the in-laws
for their input but the final decisions rests with whomever holds the
2) It is never proper to retract an invitation
for any reason.
Several years ago my
husband and I had moved into a new home. We are renowned among our friends
for having great casual get-togethers and have done it many, many times.
My husband wanted to have a housewarming party in the new house and I was
a little nervous about some of his co-workers on the guest list. We have
had many parties through the years and we had long since learned who to
leave off the list. Well he insisted on inviting Gary from his office. I
love Gary, but his girlfriend Jane is rather rude and uppity and I knew
she would be coming.
We planned a four hour casual party with dinner, had rsvp's and a good
head count for the meal and liquor and everything was going well until
Gary & Jane arrived. It seems Jane had "invited" some of her
friends (three) as well. Ok, we still had enough food, not a big deal
until one of Jane's friends got on the phone and "invited" some
of her friends over for a free meal also. Soon another three friends
arrived, again I wasn't too concerned about the food. The friends weren't
known to us at all and I was never introduced to some of them, from either
the first or the second group, but still I was friendly to everyone and it
seemed to be okay.
Then about an hour and half into our party one of Jane's friends announced
that she was going dancing at one of the local bars and proceeded to
invite everyone along. She even went from guest to guest inviting them to
leave with her! I was so stunned I couldn't even react.
We had all eaten and were visiting in the living room area setting up for
some card games and dominoes, as we usually do at these gatherings, while
I tidied up the kitchen area and fixed coffee and set out dessert.
The woman continued to loudly request that someone go with her dancing.
Everyone seemed shocked at her behavior. Finally, Gary, Jane, and all the
other drop-in guests leave to go dancing. Not one word of thanks from any
of the drop-ins, certainly not a second is spent helping with the clean up
and all the way out the door she is saying, "y'all come with us,
it'll be MORE fun". On the way out I hear the loud woman say to Jane,
"I thought you said we were going to have fun this evening?" A
few minutes after they left there was cheering & clapping from the
rest of the guests.
Needless to say Gary was immediately mentally crossed off our guest list
and has never been invited again, he's still with Jane. He has never
mentioned the incident to us either at my husband's office or at any of
the other functions we have been to.
In my whole life, I have never had a guest be that rude.
Because we are planning this
wedding in the town where we live (we have only lived here for a couple of
months, so we know very few people and about 90% of the guests are from
out of town), I figured we would get off easy with respect to guests
inviting themselves to the wedding. Not quite! Some background: Several
years ago I joined an online role-playing site where many of the gamers
were friends in real life as well as in character. Many of the players
were in high school (I was 21 at the time) -- I tended to bond more with
the older players, but was polite to the teenagers.
In 2001, I met a
number of them at a weekend get-together, including a
then-fifteen-year-old I'll call "Mara." Mara was definitely
trying too hard the entire weekend to be buddy-buddy with everyone, and
she got on everybody's nerves. About a year and a half ago, I stopped
role-playing on the site -- I just wasn't as interested. I lost contact
with all but a few of the other players, and certainly didn't keep in
contact with Mara. A few weeks ago, I finally made a "goodbye"
post to the site -- "it's been fun role-playing with you all, but
it's time to move on, and for those of you who're interested, I've just
moved to XYZ city, I got a new job, and I'm getting married in four
Today I got a piece of email from Mara...with THIS in it:
"YOU'RE IN XYZ CITY!? I'M IN XYZ CITY!!! Omigod! Well, I'm not in XYZ
city right now because it's summer, so I'm back in my home town . But if
you're going to get married in four months in XYZ city you bet your ass
that I'll crash or *something* or beg to play at your wedding (since I'm
officially a piano major now, hee!). And who knows, maybe I can get
(boyfriend's name here) to come with me, too..." Thank god this chick
doesn't know the date or the place. She's not going to find out from me,
either. Crash my wedding? Bring another guest?! Guest0522-03
My husband and I are both strict vegetarians, and felt very strongly
that our ethics just could not allow for the serving of meat at our
reception. We arranged a meal with our caterer that we felt even the most
diehard carnivore could enjoy. In fact, after the wedding, we received
countless compliments about the unique and delicious meal. However, not
everyone was so impressed.
We found out about the actions of a certain
guest at the end of the night, as our reception was coming to a close. One
of my friends informed me that during the dinner, one of our guests
brought out a bagged bologna sandwich that he had brought with him, and
was attempting to auction it off to other guests. Had I known, of course,
I would have graciously laughed at the "funny" joke. Still, I
was a bit amazed that someone would do that. My friend said that most
people just smiled politely and carried on with their meal. My
father-in-law was less than amused, but apparently said nothing. I wasn't
angry, I just couldn't imagine doing that at a wedding. The day was
wonderful, though, and I have fond memories of the ceremony and reception.
This summer, my OH and I attended the wedding of a couple of friends
from work. I had spent much time with the bride, and was touched to be
asked to the shower and bachelorette party--sometimes it's hard to know
how someone feels about you. I listened to her concerns about the big day,
and tried to calm her as much as possible.
The day of the wedding, one the
groom's guests appeared and almost instantly became the talk of the day.
The bride and I had a good laugh about this a few weeks later... Miss
Thing arrives in a black dress with a blue flower print, very short, very
form fitting. I don't want to mean, but this girl did not have the figure
for that dress, and was spilling out over the top. She had a water bottle
inside the church, but I didn't think much of it as this was June in
Arizona. For part of ceremony, Miss Thing spends her time turned in the
pew, staring at the groom's boss (also a friend of mine). During the vows,
Miss Thing drops the cap of the water bottle, which skitters loudly across
the tile to the middle of the aisle. She then gets up to retrieve it,
smiling at everyone. So far, not that bad, right?
At the reception, Miss
Thing is flirting with everyone, including the bride's very married
brother. During the dancing, she's grinding her hips against the groin of
the Best Man (as the Best Man's girlfriend looked on). Alcohol wasn't
helping. During the bouquet toss, Miss Thing executed a hip check to grab
the bouquet, nearly knocking the woman who was in line for it to the
floor. When the garter removal was announced, none of the single men
budged. My OH went up grudgingly with some others, and the men conducted a
brief huddle. When the garter was tossed, the men neatly stepped to each
side, and the one who was designated to "take one for the team"
reluctantly caught it. When Miss Thing was seated for the garter to be
placed, she raised her dress *much* too high, and tried to guide the
garter man's hands higher up her leg.
As the dancing continued, so did the
alcohol, and Miss Thing continued to shake what God gave her. She was
still going when we left. After her scene, and after reading some of the
other stories on this site, my OH and I have decided to elope.
My fiancé was the best man for his best friend's wedding a few years
ago. The other members of the groom's party were the groom's brother and a
high-school friend of both my fiancé and the groom I'll call Bob. Bob
started dating a girl right before the wedding. We'll call her Freak since
that's what she was. Anyway, Freak wasted no time in moving in with Bob
and getting her hooks in him good. Within a month, they'd moved in
together and were talking about getting married and buying a house
together. Freak had no job at the time and mooched off Bob instead. It was
quite the bizarre situation, but Bob isn't a very conventional guy so it
was par for the course for him.
A few nights before the wedding, my
fiancé and Bob were supposed to be hosting a bachelor party for the
groom. (The groom lived out east so he didn't get into town until right
before the wedding.) They're not drinkers or partiers but instead decided
to have an informal get-together at Bob's house. Freak agreed to make
herself scarce to facilitate the evening. The only problem was, Freak was
new to our community and had no friends. My fiancé begged me to entertain
her for the evening so they could have their party. I reluctantly agreed.
Freak and I went to a restaurant where she regaled me with tales of her
sex life with Bob. I heard details that would curl your hair! Keep in mind
that I had just met this woman! We then went to a mall where she purchased
Bob a new wallet. Using his credit card. Then she wrote a poem dedicated
to Bob's wallet. I'm not kidding! We then took Bob's fancy new sports car
to the gas station, where she informed me that I would have to fill the
car with gas because she didn't know how to run a self-serve pump! Then we
went to the drive-in to watch some movies and kill some time.
point, the cell-phone hell started. She had Bob's cell phone. Now, I don't
know about Bob, but my fiancé and the groom are not big 'naked, drunken
bachelor party' people. My fiancé had planned an evening of video games
and cigars for them, which was fine with the groom. But Freak became
convinced that Bob was fooling around with hookers or strippers or
something. So she launched a campaign of constant phone calls to prevent
Bob from enjoying himself at all. She made probably fifty calls during the
first two-hour movie! She cried and wailed and yelled at him when he
refused to tell her who the guests were at the party.
several hours of this, she said she would be spending the evening at my
apartment! (I lived at the time in a small one-room studio apartment, and,
remember, had just met this woman THAT NIGHT!) I had warned my fiancé
earlier that evening that, while I was willing to endure an evening in
Freak's company, if she threatened to spend the evening at my apartment I
would break up with him on the spot! Needless to say, he cut the evening
short at that point and the party ended at 1:00 am. I spent the next two
days apologizing for Freak's behavior to the groom. It wasn't me who'd
ruined the party. I just didn't want that woman in my apartment overnight!
A few days later was the wedding. Bob was with the groom and the groom's
party on the day of the wedding. I reluctantly lent my hotel room to the
groom's party for their prep work and agreed (very reluctantly) to join
Freak and the groom's brother's girlfriend in Freak and Bob's room to
dress for the wedding. Freak calls me into the bathroom with her five
minutes after I arrive in the room. Breathlessly, she informs me that she
thinks she's pregnant, and begs me to take her to buy a home pregnancy
test! She waited to tell me because "I'm her new best friend!"
So I take her to get a pregnancy test at a nearby drugstore, and she goes
in the bathroom and takes it. She comes out a few minutes later and tells
me it's positive! She then proceeds to interrupt the groom's party with a
million phone calls to Bob concerning the 'baby'. (To this day I have no
idea if there was a baby or not - she claimed to have miscarried a few
weeks later.) Bob asked her to marry him immediately, and she spent the
rest of the day talking about what their wedding would be like and what
they would do now with a baby on the way. She monopolized every
conversation and turned it back to her and Bob's impending nuptials!
capper, she had a screaming fight with Bob when he failed to catch the
garter, because she felt he didn't try hard enough to grab it! Bob did
eventually dump Freak, although I was forced to endure a few more (equally
memorable) evenings with her before she got her walking papers!