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Ok, I don't even know if this qualifies as a Faux Pas. but I think it does. The Names have been changed in order to protect the not so innocent. My Fiancé and I are still in the planning stages of our Nov. 2003 wedding and we have hit what I think to be a rather rude bump in the road. It seems that the Best Man, Paul (the groom's younger Brother) thinks he has some say in which we invite or don't invite to our Wedding. Because his new wife Vicky runs their home like a Police state, she and he also think that the way they live translates over into everyone else's life too. 

Some time back in January or February of this year when we began to share our good news with friends and family, strange rumblings of "Will Vicky's parents be invited?" started to come from the Groom's brother. At that time totally disregarded this because it was just plain too early to worry about the guest list. We hear this a few more times in passing (about 3, I think) over the next several months. 

Fast forward to June 2003, five months to the Big day, and we are having to pare down the gust list as the costs associated with Weddings can get out of control fast. We are splitting costs with my folks 50/50 and we not being made of money can't invite the whole world. Keeping in mind that I've had to cut 8 of my first cousins off the list to keep the final bill reasonable. Feeling badly about this, my fiancé gives his brother a call to see if it's cool not to invite his in-laws. Also keeping in mind that neither my fiancée nor I know these people well, and don't really like them either. Not even bothering to tell his brother about the issues we have with his in-laws (these are the watch your purse type people, if you catch my drift) we tell him they might not be invited. Still more to keep in mind here, the brother, the sister and much to my shock the parent's of the groom invited them behind our backs (sort of jumped the gun so to speak). No one EVEN called to run it by us first. Everyone BUT the Bride and Groom just mutually agreed upon the invitation of the sister in-laws parents. We don't even rate a consult I guess.

But I digress, we call the Best (or in this case maybe worst Man) to tell him we'd like to eliminate the in-laws and he pulls a nutty on us (No I am not making this up, I wish I was). He in his total stupidity says "But they are my family and you just don't understand how upset Vicky will be, do you want her to despise you?!" The groom-to-be tried to explain as nicely as possible that the guest list for the wedding was not up for debate by the best man or anyone else for that matter. Paul continued to attempt to justify the invitation and the situation turned nasty and the groom is to say the least is just horrified by this whole situation and also at the total lack of class that his brother is showing. Sad but true, we have to cut people that I share blood with from the list to make room for two total strangers, and someone my fiancé says "Gives him the creeps".    Guest0610-03

A few years ago, my cousin, Allison, and her long-time boyfriend decided to marry. Naturally, they invited everyone in our immediate family, including my father (her uncle) and my step-mother, Melinda. My often-divorced father and Melinda (his fourth wife) are wonderful people, but they can be tacky sometimes. Because my family live in opposite sides of the state, we didn't see Allison's family very often. My father and Melinda had been married for about seven years at this time, but many of my relatives did not know Melinda's children (from a previous marriage). So, when Allison planned her wedding, she invited my father and step-mom, but not my step-brother or step-sister. Melinda asked me if she thought if it was okay if Felicity (her daughter) came to the wedding. I told her it would not be appropriate because Allison had only met Felicity once many years before, and they didn't know each other. Besides, Felicity wasn't invited. 

Well, Melinda ended up calling my Aunt (Allison's mother) and asking her if Felicity could come. My aunt said yes, although she was not the one planning or paying for this wedding (Allison and her fiancé were), so this ticked off Allison. However, once she was invited, Allison decided to take the high road and send Felicity an invitation. 

The night before the big event, my father and Melinda were invited to the rehearsal dinner. Felicity tagged along, thinking it was okay to attend this private affair. Remember, Allison and Felicity had only met once, nine years prior, when they were 16 and 12 years of age, and now Felicity was at Allison's wedding rehearsal uninvited, when other people closer to her weren't even there!   At the dinner, Allison and her bridesmaids decided to go out for drinks. Felicity invited herself to this event as well. According to Allison, she and her friends feigned fatigue in order to get rid of her. 

The next day, at the beautiful wedding, We noticed that Felicity was not in the church. She missed the entire ceremony because she had to go back to the hotel to pick something up for my father. She arrived when everyone was leaving the church. At the reception, my mother (who is still close with Allison and my father's family), sister, and myself were enjoying some cocktails before the newlyweds arrived. Felicity sat with us, which is fine by my mother as everyone gets along great. Felicity announced that she couldn't stay for the reception because she was off to meet her long-distance boyfriend who lived in the area. My step-mother, Melinda, had the nerve to ask the food server for a doggie bag for Felicity's dinner!!! Tacky!!!! I think it is so tacky to invite a person to someone else's wedding only to have that person miss the ceremony and reception, then have the nerve to ask for a doggie bag! Luckily, our family is easy-going, although we still have laughs over this with Allison.    Guest0414-03

My husband's family is very large and very close with the exception of one of his cousins, I'll refer to her as "Lolita." Lolita never shows up at family events or reunions unless they involve a meal and open bar. She was also notorious for her "dirty-dancing" at such family weddings and for one infamous time when she was caught (by the groom) in the men's room with her then boyfriend in a very compromising position. 

When it was time to send out the invites for our daughters wedding, we were very limited due to our large family, the groom's large family and many good friends on both sides. When it came to inviting family who did not have a significant other, we could not include "and guest' I sent Lolita a single invitation, after finding out from her sisters that she wasn't engaged or living with anyone. Four days before the wedding, Lolita who has never set foot in my house for any occasion, calls me to demand that her boyfriend of three months be invited. I was in such shock, I sort of stammered and said that there was really no room. She said " If it's a matter of money, tell me how much the meal is and I will pay for his!!" I was so taken aback I said, and in an angry tone, "Well just bring him then, I don't know where we'll fit him,.." and before I could finish, she HUNG UP!!!!!

 They both showed up at the wedding reception- - (not the church) she looking like Charo with the hair extensions and a dress with a neckline that plunged to her waist, dirty-danced, never ONCE came over to my husband or myself, never ONCE went over to the Bride and Groom, and weeks later, my daughter laughingly told me that they didn't bother to even give a card (not that I ever even expected they would give a gift) My daughter and son-in-law's day was beautiful and elegant and after the initial shock of seeing her, we didn't give her another thought that day. Days later, as we were watching her gyrate on the dance floor in the wedding video, my husband said, "Damn, we should have sent her a bill for that meal!"

I wanted to add a post script to this story; When I reread it, I realized it sounded like we expected our wedding guests to come to us at the reception. We visited every table, as did the bride and groom, and the lovely couple in question conveniently took off for the dance floor for both visits. Her parents who are very sweet, apologized several times for her behavior. The really sad thing is that she is not a teenager, but in her late thirties!!
Guest0421-03

A story for your site, which we enjoyed very much!! It kept us entertained for hours and made us really appreciate how wonderful our wedding and showers were! 

Sending non-verbal, ill-mannered messages . . . In May of last year, my husband and I attended the wedding of a college friend. It was a gorgeous Sunday; a Spring afternoon and the wedding was taking place at a beautiful historic home under a bright, blue sky. Just before the ceremony started, a young woman entered from the side of the seating arrangement waving and calling out to people she knew, mainly the groom's side. Even without the rude entrance, she would have called attention to herself. She looked absolutely ridiculous for a pleasant, Sunday afternoon wedding, which was by no means casual. Her hair was huge with curls. She wore bright red lipstick and was dressed in black pants, a black slinky top with rhinestone spaghetti straps and black, spiked heels. In all honesty, she looked like she'd come straight from the club she'd been drinking and dancing in the night before (and that IS putting it nicely).

 Following her were two women that I remember less, except they were both dressed in black and seemed to take no interest in what was happening. They never smiled and looked like they were attending a funeral, not a wedding. I'd heard of insulting the bride by wearing white, but dressing like it was a funeral and acting that way was really making a statement and it wasn't a good one!!! 

After the ceremony, while we were standing in the receiving line, the young woman turned to me and said hello. I smiled, but couldn't place her. However, when she told me her name, I instantly remembered. She was one of the groom's ex-girlfriends and I had not seen her in about 6 years. She was, in fact, THE ex-girlfriend. The one he'd compared all women to until he met the woman he married (whom no one compares to! =) The two women with her were her mother and an older friend. 

Once we finished going through the line and got away from them, my husband said, "Who was that again?" I said, "The groom's ex-girlfriend. THE ex-girlfriend." He said, "When did they break up?" I answered, "Years ago! She moved away. I didn't know she was back." He said, "Isn't she over him yet? I mean, if it's been years, why is she dressed like that?" We quickly agreed that she was a walking advertisement for not being over the groom and against the marriage. It was a message that no one seemed to miss! 

Throughout the reception, we noticed that the ex seemed to be lurking at the forefront of everything. When they cut the cake, she was there, standing right in front. When they had toasts, you couldn't miss her; she stood next to or near the groom. Wherever the photographer was, she seemed to be there or somewhere close in the background - I've oftened wondered if there were ANY pictures without her in them! My husband and I left earlier than we had originally planned (shortly before the newlyweds left), so the rest of this story comes from several sources including the bride and groom and is truly the worst wedding etiquette I've ever heard of . . . 

Apparently, once the reception started to wind down, the ex-girlfriend, her mother and friend went about collecting all the flowers they could get their hands on - centerpieces, arrangements, anything they could find. These were flowers that the bride and her mother planned to give as thank-you gifts to friends and family that had helped with the wedding. When the bride asked the caterer where the flowers had been moved to so she could give them away before she left, the caterer explained that a young woman, dressed in black with curly hair and two women with her had gone around collecting them while telling ALL the other guests that they were free for the taking. Needless to say, the bride was mad and her mother was furious!! The next day, the groom's new bride and MIL made him call the ex-girlfriend and demand the flowers back. When the ex refused (saying the flowers were hers!), he drove to her house and took them back, leaving the ex crying. I guess he answered her etiquette with a little of his own!! And, believe me, we ALL applauded him for it!!!     Guest0131-03

To start off I just love your site. I have to tell my story … My future MIL did almost everything for my wedding, my opinion was asked (and respected) but she actually did most of the work. (my mom lives in another state and my MIL is truly a wonderful woman). The guest list was rather extensive since we both (future hubby and myself) had a lot of out of state friends and family. We invited everyone … about 200 people. We got "attending" RSVP’s from about 175, however, almost 250 people showed up. No problem, there was tons of food – way more than could be eaten even by 250 people. (it was a late afternoon appetizer and drinks reception) The person this is about is the daughter of the college roommate of my FIL. 

We had done all the wedding party pictures before the ceremony and before the guests arrived so that we could enjoy the reception without the break for taking pictures. (not to mention leaving the guests to wait – since the wedding and reception were at the same place, a beautiful old antebellum mansion) After they had announced us and my new husband and I were walking around and talking to the guests I noticed every time I glanced to "Frank" this girl was following him or talking to him. I thought it was a little odd and I asked my MIL who she was. (I had not met her) She told me it was the FIL’s friends daughter, and poor thing "Frank" was probably the only person she knew. 

Okay … so I do not want to watch this girl follow my new husband all over the place so I find the Best Man’s girlfriend "Tanya" and take her over to be introduced to this girl. (Tanya is one of those people that you can talk to for a minute and feel you have known your whole life) She was more than happy to serve as a "friend" to this girl. So "Frank" makes the introductions and all is good … right? Wrong. A little while later I look over and there she is again, and now she is flirting with him. (you know, flipping her hair, touching his arm and pretty much monopolizing him) I find "Tanya" and asked what happened and she told me that right after Frank and I walked off the girl said she was going for a drink and would be right back … right back to "Frank" that is. Thinking I was getting a little paranoid I went to the Best Man and asked if what I was thinking was true and he said, "I’m surprised you haven’t started yelling, that girl has been flirting with him for the past hour!" 

Well, nothing worked to keep her away from "Frank" even when I was with him she only toned it down … but didn’t stop. I managed to not say anything (quite a feat for me since I am very outspoken and not one to sit silently when something is bothering me) since it was my wedding day I didn’t want to make a scene. As "Frank" and I were getting ready to leave and saying good bye to our parents this girl says to "Frank" as she hands him her phone number "next time you’re in my city give me a call and we can have dinner … or something." And then she gives him this big naughty wink! Right in front of me and our parents! ("Frank" travels to the city she lives in for work about once a month) My Mother, MIL, and my self just stood there with frozen smiles on our faces … the men seemed oblivious. After we left I asked him for the slip of paper with her phone number on it, he handed it to me and I dropped it out the window of the moving car. (She called him a few years later and as a result of his poor judgment we are now divorced – I still miss his mom (she was appalled when she found out what her son had been up to).

guest0321-03

I was asked by my English teacher--who is only six years older than me and practically a friend (I call her by her first name, except when in class)--to film her wedding, both the ceremony and the reception. "Meghan" did not know her fiancé’s family very well, and during the reception, I got the impression that the family was not nearly as close as the bride's family.

Anyway, I was one of the first people at the church. I set up my equipment, and soon two girls arrived who I thought were the bridesmaids--they were wearing formal dresses, the same cut but different colors. One was wearing white gloves and both looked as if they had spent quite some time getting their hair done. Well, they were soon sitting with their husbands and the real bridal party arrived, at which point I realized that these girls were "wannabe" bridesmaids (WB).

At school the previous week, Meghan had asked me to go around to all the tables at the reception and film the guests congratulating/giving advice to the newlyweds. (It was at this point I realized that the groom, "Joe's," family was not a very close clan.) When I got to the WBs' table, they talked into the camera almost endlessly about how they used to play with Joe in the sandbox when they were kids--no "Congratulations, Meghan and Joe!" In fact, they didn't address or mention the bride once.

Later, Meghan and Joe posed for photos with various groups of guests--one with Meghan's fellow teachers, one with the MOB's family, FOB's family, MOG's family, etc. Both WBs were in the FOG's family picture. After their picture was taken, the groom's aunt approached the photographer (without consulting either Meghan or Joe) and said that she wanted a formal photo of her family--including her daughters/nieces, the WBs, but not including the bride or the groom. Meghan overheard this conversation, and afterward, made it clear to the photographer that the only posed group shots would be the ones including the bride and groom.

Fast-forward to the garter-toss. Due to a lack of single men, married men were asked to come onto the dance floor. The wife of the man who caught the garter was then asked to come up--surprise! It was one of the WBs. The DJ announced that they would be reversing the roles--WB would be putting the garter on her husband. Rather than slide it up over his pants, she reached waaaay up there and got the garter on his thigh. Now, I'm filming this, and I actually got a great shot, moving slowly up his leg. But once WB got her hand out of hubby's pants, she reached over and gave his manly parts a little squeeze, before I get a chance to zoom out.

When both WBs left about an hour later, Meghan did not look sad to see them go.

Guest0525-03

Last spring, a friend of mine got married. We were both in the same sorority at college, and I was aware of the hard times that she had had in school. She ended up transferring to a school in different part of the state, and we all lost contact with her. We ended up finding out that she was having a baby and that she was getting married to the baby’s father a month after she was due. She invited my room mate (who invited me along as her "date" since I knew the bride), and one of her best friends from "back in the day," who happened to be in our sorority also. We'll call her Gina. Gina and the bride had been really close for years, since they grew up together. They went to the same college together, roomed together, and joined the same sorority. After living together in the same house, their friendship started to falter. After the bride had transferred schools, Gina spent most of her time bashing her former friend. However, she decided to attend the wedding anyway, and since her boyfriend had to work the day of the wedding, she brought along another girl from our sorority.

They day of the wedding arrived, and we all left to drive the 4 hours to the wedding. My roomie and I wanted to have a "good" time at the wedding, so we rented a hotel room near the reception so that we could partake of some adult beverages without having to worry about driving. We invited Gina and her date to stay with us, and they said that they would think about it.

We pulled into town an hour before the ceremony was set to start, so we decided to grab a quick bite to eat. That’s when it started. While my roomie and myself were all excited for the wedding (we had been painfully aware of the brides problems back at our school, and we were happy that she was finally happy), Gina and her date acted aloof. They barely mentioned the impending nuptials (that we had driven across the state to witness!), but talked about themselves and their boyfriends. Whatever.

We had a little trouble finding the site of the ceremony, but we eventually located it. It was held in this beautiful park on a lake. I later found out from a friend who lives in that same town that that area where the wedding was held is pretty well known for the drug deals that go down in it. However, it was the perfect setting for a daytime wedding.
The wedding was very small, with the brides mother and step father and grandmother the only family members in attendance from her side, and the grooms mother and siblings there on his. They had invited a few friends from school, and then there was us. One of the more important "guests" was the bride and grooms newborn daughter, who behaved beautifully. The ceremony was short, and was half Jewish, half Catholic. Gina later would mock the bride about including the Jewish parts in the ceremony, saying "she's not really Jewish. She just likes to claim she is."

At the dinner after the ceremony, the bride and her mother tried to reconnect with Gina as much as possible. They asked about her family, about when she was graduating, and all the common questions that you ask when you haven't seen someone in over a year. Gina happily answered them...and continued to talk about herself for the rest of the dinner. She told us (and the poor friends of the groom who were seated at the same table as us) all about her mothers rabbit farm, about her brothers girlfriend, about her boyfriends mother giving them strollers...it was a constant non-stop stream of me, me, me! She never stopped to ask the bride about her life, or the mother about hers. She just continued to talk about herself. Her date just sat there and scowled the entire time. 

While we were eating dinner, Gina showed her horrible table manners. She reached across plates to grab an item, she ate sliced beef with her fingers, and then there was the topper. While eating and talking about herself, she dropped some mash potatoes down the her dress. While most people with some class would excuse themselves from the table to remove the food from their cleavage, she proceeded to dig it out right then and there. It was horrible. After dinner was cleared away, Gina announced that she and her date were going to drive the 4 hours back to school right then and there. It was already 7pm...and the drive wasn't exactly a fun one during daylight. But whatever. I was secretly glad that they left. My roomie and I had to make excuses for their absence, but I think that bride was glad that they left too. We all knew that they basically came for the free dinner. Too bad they didn't stay. The brides mother had rented a room in a popular bar and proceeded to feed everyone alcohol. It was great to get to hang out with the bride again. My relationship with Gina and her date has dwindled as of late....they are still too wrapped up in themselves.      Guest0219-03

This happened at the reception of my friend's wedding. He is Japanese, she Chinese so it was a large gathering at a prominent Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. As in most Chinese restaurants, this one posted the names of the parties, the type of gathering it was (i.e., wedding, birthday, etc.) along with the assigned banquet room number. Once arriving at the restaurant, my friends and I found our table and proceeded to sit down. Soon thereafter other people began sitting at our table, these people were of Chinese descent and were of the same age as me and my friends (early 20's).

 Just before dinner began a very well dressed elderly Chinese man sat at one of the 2 empty seats at our table and promptly said something in Chinese. Well those of us who are Japanese certainly didn't know what he said but then neither did the other 3rd generation Chinese! We all figured he was an old family friend of the bride's family and proceeded to enjoy course after course of delicious Chinese delicacies. Then just before the final 2 courses, the gentlemen left the table. No one thought much of this until we'd finished the meal and he had not returned. After dinner when the bride and groom dropped by our table, we mentioned this older gentleman and told the bride we all figured he must have been a relative or old family friend from her side since he was Chinese. The bride was puzzled and said she didn't know him and mentioned that her parents had seen the man and casually wondered who he was too - then the groom started laughing. When he finally stopped he explained the gentleman was most likely just a man off the streets who basically fed himself by getting all dressed up, going into the restaurants and reading the names and types of events going on and when he found a Chinese name, he'd go sit at a table near the back that was comprised mostly of younger people (who hopefully wouldn't know how to speak Chinese and would think he was an elderly family friend) and he'd start to eat but was sure to leave just prior to the completion of the banquet in order to avoid getting caught. When our friend told us this is most likely what happened, we were amazed but then joked that the gentleman left before the best part!!      Guest0626-03

You don't seem to have a "Best Men From Hell" category but maybe you should as this is on story on that theme.

My husband, dear soul that he is, is lucky to be a heterosexual male because I've found he generally has lousy taste in men! Exhibit A -- his best man, that I'll call Durwood...Durwood is a recently remarried, though still extremely Catholic, man who had problems with his first wife because of his extreme right-wing views of women...he would argue, for instance, that it should be national policy that women be paid less so they will be induced to stay home with the children where they belong! His second wife, who I'll call Jade, who he married after a scant 6 weeks of dating, is from an Asian country where they still buy into the subservient role, but are also masters (mistresses?) of manipulation...she also is extremely Catholic...he is also trying to take his children away from his first wife (because where she's attending medical school is not in a desirable neighborhood!) and trying to argue to the judge that his child support payments should be "grandfathered" to the exact amount they were when they were first divorced and he made considerably less than he does now! He also wants any gifts he gives them to be counted as part of his child support payment!

Anyway...the only things my husband and I ever argued about during the planning of the wedding were related to the best man...the biggest argument was over the issue of children, specifically his two small children and new 3 month old baby by wifey #2...I insisted on a child-free wedding and all my friends with children totally understood and were even grateful to have an adults only event to go to...my husband is shy and hates confrontation, while the BM is pushy...he kept on insisting that his wife be allowed to bring the baby since she was so attached to her and that "if" the baby cries (IF?! HELLO!!! This is a 3 month old baby! Naturally she's going to cry more than once in the course of 5 hours!) Jade will just take her out of the room...problem is that the wedding and reception were both held in a restaurant in an old and beautiful mansion where all the rooms are small and connected -- there is no "out of the room"...

Well my head is harder than the BM's and I prevailed...however, Jade decided she'd stay home with the baby and his kids, even though we offered to pay for a babysitter...this irked me as we had attended their wedding (when we still hadn't met her yet), their baby shower, christening party and housewarming!

He did manage to behave like a proper best man and friend to my husband (though I did catch him checking his watch during the ceremony) but his gift was a regift from his marriage and the card consisted of a blank sheet of paper with a short "best wishes" sentiment handwritten on it!    Guest0205-03

When I got married, my then husband and I were on a limited budget and planned a modest little wedding at the local inn. Everything went splendidly until after dinner, when I looked up to discover my SIL and MIL with Styrofoam trays in their hands, scraping their plates into them! Apparently they had asked the waitress for boxes so they could take their leftovers home to the dog! They didn't stop at their own table, either, they proceeded to approach the other guests for their leftovers, too! (Okay, maybe I'm being too hard on them, and maybe this isn't a breach of etiquette, but I've NEVER seen this happen at ANY other wedding I've been too.) Still, I thought, we were all there to have a good time, and making a fuss wouldn't do anyone any favors at that point. 

After dinner had been cleared away, the problems hadn't. Because we were on a limited budget, we made our own tapes and brought a stereo system so that we could have music for dancing. (One of my bridesmaids worked at a music store and loaned us an amp, another friend had a mixing machine that professionally mixed our tapes). This seemed to work out well for everyone, the dance floor was full and everyone was enjoying themselves. Everyone, except my SIL, who had an objection to the volume of the music and proceeded to slap one of my close friends in the face when he tried to adjust the volume on the stereo. 

The boyfriend of one of my bridesmaids was unable to attend the ceremony or dinner because of work (he was a struggling student, and I knew that missing work even for one day would cause him hardship, so that was totally understandable). I told him that he was more than welcome to drop by after work if he felt up to it and join us for a drink. I told him that his friend would be welcome to join us for a drink, too, if he wanted. By then dinner was over and it was more like a big house party than a formal affair...I certainly didn't see a problem in that and neither did H...but his brothers had a BIG problem with that. When the boyfriend and his friend walked in, I overheard the brothers say something to the effect of "Who are those a**h**es, they weren't invited". I had to tell them that I had invited them, and H spent a lot of time reasoning with them as they were actually going to take these guys outside and beat them up for "crashing" our wedding! 

Needless to say, the marriage didn't last very long. (MIL, SIL, and BSIL were all a nightmare to deal with). My father often jokes about H's family acting like a bunch of hillbillies at the wedding...I always correct him and point out that it's an insult to hillbillies to compare them. Hillbillies would have much better manners, of that I'm certain.     Guest0220-03

 I have a very good friend who is by no means a bright girl. Let's call her "Katie". She is nice enough, but when it comes to thinking things through, she's dumber than a box of hammers. Although happily ensconced with a live-in boyfriend, she had a minor indiscretion with a former high school sweetheart, who by the way, was also in a "happy" long term relationship. Needless to say, "Neil's" girlfriend finds out about this and is absolutely furious. Although they are all familiar with one another, in some miracle, this news doesn't get around to Katie's boyfriend so they carry on as normal. 

Anyway, the happy news arrives last month that Neil and his girlfriend are getting married. Katie doesn't receive an invitation (big surprise there). But that didn't stop her, oh no! She actually gets a mutual friend (a girl) to ask Katie to go to the wedding AS HER DATE in order to show up and toast the happy (or soon to be not so happy) couple. I tried to talk her out of it, but she was so blindingly stupid that she believes that Neil intended to invite her but forgot, so she'll get to the wedding any which way she can. Can you even imagine walking down the aisle on the happiest day of your life to see your soon-to-be-husbands mistress standing in the pews!      guest0710-03

My cousin was getting married in a church very close to where my husband and I live and I was very excited about the prospect of getting a Wedding invitation. I thought maybe she would send one to me, but since we haven't really been close, I understood if she didn't. My mother received an invitation and I did not, that was fine, I had no problem with that. My mother called me and asked if I had received and invitation and I said no but it was no problem, I understood. My mother calls me back a few weeks later and tells me that her invitation was meant for her, myself and my husband, so we prepare to go to the wedding and reception. My mother assures me that we are invited to both and that it is no problem. We send an expensive gift to the happy couple and wait for the wedding day.

Fast forward to the wedding day. We attend the wedding, it was nice and predictable.

We drive to the reception with my mother and have the pre meal cocktails and food and then the hotel releases us into the main dining room. There are placecards and of course there were none that were assigned to my husband and I. Embarrassing to say the least! When the bride saw us she gave us a look like "what are you doing here you aren't invited". At that point we should have left. My mother scrambles to find placecards for people that didn't show and we are able to sit at the table with her in someone else’s seats. (wrong on our part). 

Half way through the dinner, one of the guests shows up that the seat belongs to. We try to get him to sit at an empty seat at another table. (very wrong on our part). He comes back and demands his seat and we have the wait staff get him a chair and place setting. The staff was not happy about this since every meal was paid for in advance. We obviously were not supposed to be there and were not invited and just tried to make the best of it. We should have left right away but since we were with my mother we were kind of forced to stay.

I found out later that my mother just told us that we were invited and kind of assumed that the invitation covered guests. We never got a thank you for our expensive gift, (and we don't blame the couple). My mother was just trying to bring us all together and ended up pushing us all apart.    Guest0521-03

And the lesson learned is to never presume someone else's invitation extends to you, no matter what they say.

His mother wants to invite, to our small, private wedding, 87 people. Her proper share, according to etiquette, is about 20 people. She insists that her guests would be "insulted" if some of them weren't invited. Imagine being one of those guests, arriving at the wedding, and realizing that none of the guests knows the bride - or the groom - only the groom's mother. Any decent person would find that frightfully embarrassing. THAT would be an insult, embarrassing your friends like that. The best part is that it's 87 guests - this week. She keeps fighting with her "friends" and changing her mind about whom she's inviting. That's not "insulting" them??    Guest0626-03

I have never heard a specific number such as "20" being the magic number for how many guests the parents are permitted to invite.   That number can be determined by numerous factors including budget, relationship, etc.  As for guests arriving at the wedding not knowing anyone but the groom's mother, one would assume they would have read the names of the bride and groom on the invitation,  realized this weeks prior and declined if they thought they would be embarrassed.

Love the site. It's provided me with a great deal of entertainment. I have a story for you and I just hope it's enough to make the cut. My husband and I got married on June 1 last year. For all the drama beforehand, the wedding came out beautifully with no real problems. The problem comes up at the reception. Now a little background here, my grandmother had just died a few months before the wedding and there was some unpleasantness between my mom and her sister, my aunt J, namely my aunt trying to walk out of the house with several of my grandmother's possessions that had not been willed to her. However, I had asked my cousin, J's daughter, to be a bridesmaid. My mom and my aunt agreed to put all their differences aside and be civil for the wedding. 

Well, the truce seemed to hold out. However, this truce didn't apply to my aunt's friends, it seems. One of her friends from high school showed up at the reception. I didn't know this woman and she was not invited. She helped herself to the food, the beer, and started insulting people. She also decided that this would be a good time for her to berate my mother for the "horrible way she treated J after (my grandmother) died." She yelled at my mom for twenty minutes and finally had to be escorted out by my father and a few couple of my cousins who were built like linebackers. It's a good thing that my husband and I were still getting our pictures because I would have been much less polite. It's never a good idea to mess with the bride on her wedding day. Well, anyway, thanks for the laughs.    Guest0209-03

My younger sister got married Jan. 4, 2002. The ceremony went off beautifully, and the reception as well, with two small exceptions. The reception was held in a large ballroom of a lovely hotel. Apparently, there was another wedding party next door to our reception. During the first hour of the reception, people from that party snuck over to ours and took their fill of the open bar's wine and beer. Several people overheard these party crashers commenting that they should have come to this wedding instead of the other, because of the free alcohol. 

Later, during our dancing and fun, I noticed several young teenage girls on the dance floor whom I was not familiar with. Mind you, my entire family, as well as that of my new brother in law, were nicely dressed in suits, tuxes, etc. These girls were wearing tight tee shirts and jeans and whooping it up with bottles of beer in their hands. I asked my sister, "Do you know those girls?" She said no, and proceeded to ask them why they were in our reception. One of the girls said, "Oh, we were at the wedding next door, and it was boring. The guy at the door said we could come in here." My sister politely asked them to leave. They made sure to grab their beer and exited quickly. The hotel staff got an earful from my stepmother shortly thereafter, and the rest of the night went as planned.    Guest0116-03

Oh boy. I've worn some ugly bridesmaid dresses but nothing like those monstrosities that you have up! I was pleased that you sent some of my ex-housemates into etiquette hell after they catted their way through a friend's wedding. Since I submitted that story there has been more to the ongoing saga of Wedding etiquette hell. I'm not sure whether this fits under "roommates," "bridezilla (to be)" or "guests." Just a bit of background. These people (Who I will call Tacky Twit A and Tacky Twit B.) are actually nice and normally polite. There is one occasion when they turn into the raving, drooling, etiquette demons from hell: weddings. 

 Both TTA and TTB have dreamed about their weddings since they were five. When I lived with them they would discuss logistics of flowers, music and pleasing family for HOURS on end. They would talk about how because of their awful tribulations in life (they missed a prom, they were ten pounds overweight, etc.) they were entitled to a princess-perfect wedding which would make their lives all better. After the wedding they would have some prince who would take care of them and pamper them and they would go on to have 1.5 well-mannered, sweet-tempered children. They would have these pity/entitlement parties at least once a week. It drove me NUTS!   These women were both attractive and had men interested in them - but their senses of entitlement scared the swains off quickly. Second dates were rare and third dates were unheard of. But still they planned, planned, planned their weddings as if they were six weeks away. 

A woman who I will call Grace got married. It was a modest and casual wedding as she had just buried her brother. She invited guests to drop by for light hors d'ouvres and encouraged people to bring friends or invite anyone who had been missed. It was tasteful and I understood that she didn't want anything formal or showy since her family was trying to recover from their shock. I thought the casual atmosphere was a good idea since the family was relaxed and smiling for the first time in months. 

Well TTA and TTB spent the whole wedding going on and on about how low-class and cheap the wedding was. I was ready to hide in a potted plant, I was so embarrassed to be with them! They continued this performance at several other weddings. It took me awhile to realize that they were just jealous of everyone getting married. They felt that they "deserved" a good wedding and husband and it made them mad to see other women happily married. 

Recently I heard that "Sally" (a good friend of Grace) was getting married. I only casually knew her and I didn't get an invitation. TTA asked me if I was going. She told me, "You have to go! EVERYONE is going." I assumed that Sally was having the same casual wedding that Grace did. People had such a good time at Grace's reception that many friends used the same idea for theirs. So I made plans to go. I went over to TTA & TTB's house so we could drive together. While I was there, all dolled up and ready to go, TTA snickered, "I really suppose I should have RSVP'd - not that it matters." 

At this point my jaw was bruised by the floor. I asked to see the invitation and saw that it was indeed a formal invitation to a sit down dinner. I pointed out that I didn't think it appropriate that I attend. They pleaded with me, they told me I was "spoiling everything." They even told me, "Who cares if it's rude? She should have invited you anyway." After many more pleas, it finally came out that they wanted to show up in my boyfriend's car which was nicer than TTB's clunker. They went. I didn't.

 I saw them the next day and they said, "You should have come. Rude Rhonda and her husband didn't show and you could have covered for them. By the way, you and boyfriend are getting serious. Make sure the groomsmen are cute and available. We both look good in green, but make sure you consult us about shades." The boyfriend and I did get married recently. We decided to keep the guest list to family only since that already swelled the ranks to 80 people. We kept it simple: no bridesmaids, simple flowers, a simple dress, neither of us really cared about having a "princess for a day" sort of affair. TTA & TTB have both seen the pictures and commented, "Well I suppose it's not so bad for a really cheap wedding." That's supposed to be a complement. I had it at a five-star restaurant on the waterfront. I opted for seafood. It wasn't a full-blown 50K affair but it was a good chunk of money. 

Now I have to confess that I too deserve to be in etiquette hell. TTA and TTB have both been having financial problems from living lifestyles that they "deserve" rather than those they can afford. After hearing their rude, condescending, comments through every wedding, I am hoping they get married just so they can discover that they can't even afford my cheap wedding!    Guest0415-03

I love this website, it has many humorous stories about people who simply don't have any manners. This story is about my cousin who was married in the summer of 2000. My sister's boyfriend at the time, and very soon to be ex-boyfriend, we will call him "Country Bumpkin", was very improperly dressed for the wedding. However, this is not the real kicker. During the reception, he decided to start dancing with and kissing a girl at the reception other than by sister. When my cousins lectured him, he began to cry right during the reception! Needless to say, my sister and him broke up very shortly after that.

Guest0325-03

At my cousin's wedding in the summer of 2000, my sister brought along her ex-boyfriend, we will call him "Country Bumpkin". Although this is a different story, he didn't dress up very much for the wedding. But anyway, at the reception, my cousins caught him dancing and kissing a different girl (other than my sister) on the dance floor. They pulled him aside and lectured him. My sister found out and pulled him aside, and "Country Bumpkin" burst out into tears and embarrassed the hell out of all of us. He then decided to argue with her at my own cousin's reception, the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Needless to say, my sister broke up with "Country Bumpkin" about a week or so after the wedding.     Guest0325-03

Although I've been married a number of years, this still makes me laugh when I think about this! My husband and I got married in a fairly expensive area of the country, and the reception was held at an up-scale country club. There were the usual minor mishaps and misbehaviors, but nothing to terrible and despite the tacky outfit of one guest (black leather gown???), the whole thing went off fairly well. My new husband and I departed for our honeymoon the next day feeling quite pleased with the entire event. Years later I learned that one guest and her spouse, who happened to be a close relative of the groom, drove to the wedding from another state in their extremely large RV. They actually parked it in the parking lot of the country club prior to the reception, directly out front, and spent the entire night there! I don't know how my husband and I didn't notice but the rest of the guest certainly did and they have apparently been talking about it ever since.    Guest0604-03

 4 years ago, two not-so-close-friends of mine got married; let's call them Catherine and Dave. They were (and probably still are) very nice people, who, though seemingly egocentric, not really are - it's just their facade. Anyway, these two had met in an organization, of which I also was a member, and at that time, there was a woman, let's call her Mona, in this organization too. The couple, in particular Catherine, had been helping Mona a lot during the years; all of us were students on a shoestring budget, and Mona kept saying that she was so happy to have Catherine as her best friend. True, they hang out a lot together, and when Mona got an apartment, Catherine helped moving, painting etc. Mona didn't help when Catherine and Dave got an apartment though, but that could have been because she thought the happy couple would like to build their nest themselves, who knows? All in all, Catherine was a huge support for Mona, whenever she was low on money or needed emotional support (which happened quite often). 

4 months before the wedding we all got our invitations from Catherine and Dave. There were to be a party for the family and a smaller reception after the dinner, where friends could attend. Nobody questioned this, they were both students, and since we weren't that close friends but only knew each other from years of volunteer work in this organization, we thought it nice even to get an invitation. About 10 people from the organization teamed up to buy a neat present for the couple. Mona stated when asked that she had already bought a present, so she wouldn't join this collective present. OK, fine with us. 

The day came, we went to the church for the ceremony and a toast outside the church. No Mona. In the evening, the reception started. No Mona. Catherine was furious; it turned out that Mona - who kept saying that Catherine was her best friend ever - had sent a parcel with a gift the day before, wishing them a nice day and apologizing that she couldn't attend. The reason? Mona, the poor, low budget student, went to a Star Trek convention in the USA (this takes place in Europe, mind you). She had signed up for this 2 months before the wedding, not telling anybody. On top of it, the present contained... two wooden egg-cups at a value of $1 each at a max, wrapped in reused wrapping paper. So the p*sspoor student who couldn't afford a gift valued at more $2 could afford a cross-Atlantic trip while her so-called best friend got married. Needless to say, Catherine and Dave do NOT have anything to do with her anymore. 

Guest0113-03

Several years ago, I was a bridesmaid in a relative's wedding. The wedding was beautiful but there was one thing that bothered me and was the talk of the wedding party. A recently-divorced guest had the nerve to show up at the wedding wearing a very short (I'm talking mid-thigh) white lace dress with a tight skirt! That wasn't in good taste.     Guest0329-03

Dear Jeanne, What a lovely site you run! Here's a story that's a bit long and I'm not sure what category it fits into. J and M's wedding was a semi-formal civil ceremony held in a fancy restaurant. It was scheduled for 9PM with the reception immediately following. The ceremony went well and was quite lovely. Not so much the reception. While there was nothing really wrong with it, I had a terrible time due in large part to the MOG. Let me explain a few things. 

I have several allergies, two of which are relevant here: sea food and fish. If I eat sea food my whole body swells and I stop breathing. With fish the reaction is less severe, mostly some swelling and a rash, but it's still very unpleasant. So guess what was on the menu? Right. An all sea food and fish dinner: deviled oysters, cream of salmon soup and grilled shrimp on a bed of rice. Now, in my country it's not customary to offer a choice of entrees along with the invitation or RSVP cards, nor is it customary to disclose the menu in advance. Had I known what was being served, I would have eaten supper before the wedding. But I had no way of knowing. 

The prospect of bread and wine and dessert not being appetizing, I thought I'd inform J and M I'd step out for a quick bite and then return for the rest of the reception. J informed me he was aware of my allergies and had ordered a different entree for me. Well, that was very thoughtful of him and I stayed. The entree turned out to be fried trout, which I couldn't eat either. Apparently J thought I was allergic only to seafood (and that's why he had not ordered a different soup, either). I was annoyed, but not offended, as I didn't expect J to keep a record of my health problems. But I was also hungry and told them, again, I'd have to step out and be back as soon s possible. J and M were ok with this and apologized profusely for getting the wrong entree. I know declining the food provided by the hosts and going elsewhere to eat is bad etiquette, but I felt justified in this case. 

As I was grabbing my purse, the MOG tells me I'm an ungrateful wretch with no manners and that I should eat what's put in front of me and like it. I began to explain about my allergies but she didn't want to listen. She went on to tell me she had never liked me and how glad she was her son found someone better than me to marry. This floored me because while J and I were close friends, neither he nor I had ever shown any romantic interest in each other. I told her how sorry I was about the food, but I couldn't possibly eat it. Allergies are serious things. She still didn't want to listen to that and very loudly ordered me out. I did leave because I didn't want to add to the scene the MOG had already caused. Well, J came running out after me, apologized profusely about his mother's behavior and begged me not to go. A few of our other friends also came out. Two of them offered to accompany me to a fast food place so I wouldn’t eat alone (they confided later they don't like sea food). 

About a half hour later we returned to the reception (we missed dessert and the cutting of the cake). The MOG ignored me for most of the night until the parents of the bride came over to say what a pity it was I couldn't eat at the reception. I explained about my allergies to which the FOB said I was right (he is a surgeon and understands these things). The MOG, sitting nearby, loudly yelled that "a little rash never killed anybody." The FOB tried explaining to her just how life and death serious allergies can be, but she didn't listen to him either. Since then I've made it a practice to make discreet inquiries regarding the menu at weddings and other social functions.     Guest0211-03

I think you handled an awkward situation very well.

At the time of my first marriage, I worked for a board of directors. At the board meeting prior to my wedding , I was asked (during the meeting) if the preparations for my upcoming wedding were going well. I responded that everything was on track, with the wedding only a few days away. I married on my 31st birthday at a lovely Bed and Breakfast/Restaurant that was in the Victorian style. We reserved the entire facility for the evening so that the ceremony and reception (a formal dinner) could take place at the same location. The seating was limited, so I had to limit the number of invitations. For example, I could invite all my aunts and uncles (9 sets), but could not invite my cousins. 

In spite of careful preparation, there were a few people who had RSVP'd that they would attend, who (in fact) did not. Lo and Behold! Here comes my employers, the board of directors, who proceed to look for an empty place setting (there is assigned seating), sit down and order dinner with the rest of the INVITED guests. I had invited none of them. The clincher: After a week long honeymoon, I returned to work for the first day. Here was the board again! What a surprise! This time it was to fire me for reasons I still don't understand---------congratulations.    Guest0625-03

Let me start by saying that my husband and I have been happily married for 15 years. However, when we were married, I was three months pregnant. Not ideal but there it is. My husband is a wonderful man. His family is outgoing and spontaneous, and they are always trying to be funny. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes not. For example, scenes from my wedding: Hubby's oldest brother lived out of town and I had never met him. He didn't RSVP, so hubby had to call to find out whether he was coming. Brother said he wouldn't be able to make it, and told hubby he should have worn a condom. 

Hubby's sister and her husband had us over for dinner before the wedding to welcome me to the family. While we were eating, sister starts providing graphic details of her recent miscarriage. Really, really gross details. We managed to change the topic eventually. 

The night before the wedding, my husband's two other brothers showed up on his doorstep, completely drunk and singing loudly at 2:30 am, wanting to have a visit and wish him luck. After a few hours, the brothers ended up passing out on the couch and floor, and hubby only managed a couple of hours sleep before the wedding. 

The wedding ceremony goes off without any problems. At the reception, one of my husband's uncles tried to throw a grape into my cleavage during dinner. It hit me on the cheek. Welcome to the family. Lastly, my husband is still embarrassed at how he started his speech after dinner. It was along the lines of "I'd like to thank the most important person here ...(pause for effect)... my grandmother!" Hubby's family is nice enough, you just need a good sense of humor and thick skin.     Guest0308-03

At my wedding (almost ten years ago now) my stepbrother-in-laws girlfriend allowed her children to run around selling chocolate bars at the reception. Just about everyone bought one but when they came up to me I said " I'm sorry girls but this dress doesn't exactly have pockets in it and if you notice I'm not carrying a purse". Their mother later called me a "cheapskate"! Thankfully my stepbrother-in-law dumped her about 6 months later.    Guest0212-03

After reading your site for a little while, I decided to submit this gem of a "Guest from Hell" story. I was at my friend from high school, Jane's, wedding. The liturgy was fantastic, wonderfully planned. One of the readers was another good friend of ours - Gina. She did fantastically at reading. What she didn't do so fantastically at was being a guest. 

We get to the reception hall and she starts chugging down beers from the bar. Eventually the bartender just gave her a pitcher (which she refilled several times). This, in itself, would have been ok - she wasn't that sloppy of a drunk and no one would have noticed... until, after the bridesmaids gave a very sweet toast, Gina bursts into hysterics. She, several friends from high school, my boyfriend and I are seated at a table together right next to the head table. Now, the crying isn't the problem - the problem is what she starts saying. "Why does everyone else get to do something? Why am I not special?" This starts off small and quiet and escalates into LOUD yells, in between obvious sobs of "I should g*dd**n be a bridesmaid, not those girls!" (Now, Jane had happened to not have any of us from high school as a bridesmaid because she didn't want to hurt any one of our feelings by not picking us, and Gina was asked to do the reading.) 

Everyone at our table and around ours is astonished. Not only this, but Gina gets up and walks around the room wailing and refuses to sit down until finally, I steer her outside (looks like now I am my 22 year old friend's baby-sitter) I try to calm Gina down. I have her get fresh air, give her glass upon glass of water. She seems to be fine again. I say to her, "Gina, I think John (my boyfriend) and I will be going home now." It wasn't that I wanted to leave, but Gina's behavior was atrocious and she had stated she wasn't leaving until I left. So, we go back in to say goodbye the bride - I apologize for Gina's behavior and tell Jane we are all leaving while Gina says goodbye to the Groom. Then Gina comes to say goodbye to Jane. Instead of trying to pull herself together a bit, she looks Jane in the eye and says "I have known you for years, and you didn't pick me for a bridesmaid. I am so disappointed." and then teeters and totters out of the room. It was mortifying.    Guest0123-03

My son (David) and his girlfriend (Angela) decided to get married, Angela's parents were quick to point out that they couldn't afford to pay for the wedding as her father was unemployed. My younger son and I are disabled so my husband has to stay home and look after us therefore we are not well off either but David had had a rotten few years resulting in a kidney transplant and we wanted him to have a day to remember so we offered to pay for the wedding on the understanding that it wouldn't be a huge, fancy affair.

The two families got together to plan the big day I suggested that we budgeted for 100 guests in total, the bride-to-be's mother said that was too many and surely 80 was more affordable. The cost per head was £35 and what you should understand is that financially we survive from week to week so every penny had to be saved, there was nothing in the bank and no spare cash at all. We could have had it in a cheaper hotel but the bride's mother wanted her daughter to be married in the same hotel that she was married in so we agreed. So the venue and numbers were agreed and we decided that it would be easier if we sent out the invitations for our side and Angela's parents sent out the invitations for their side.

2 weeks before the big day I phoned to see if the brides family had the final acceptance numbers for their side and was told yes there were 58 of their friends and family coming, I was speechless!! I pointed out that we had agreed on a total of 80 guests assuming that meant 40 from each side to which I was told that once they started writing out the invitations they realized that there were people that they just couldn't not invite. I asked why they hadn't thought it necessary to ask or even tell us, and would they be willing to pay for the extra guests. I was told that we shouldn't have offered to pay for the wedding if we didn't want to and they had no money for the extra guests, if we couldn't cope with the numbers the we would have to uninvite guests from our side as they couldn't possibly lose anyone from theirs, apparently it was far more important that all Angela’s side was there as it was her big day and no-one else’s.

The end result was that we had to uninvite 18 people from our side and the bride's mother the whole day being congratulated on a lovely wedding!!!

Guest0208-03

Hindsight is always 20/20 but the lessons to be learned here are:

1) He who pays for the wedding controls the guest list, the venue, the menu.  It's considerate to include the in-laws for their input but the final decisions rests with whomever holds the wallet.

2) It is never proper to retract an invitation for any reason.

Several years ago my husband and I had moved into a new home. We are renowned among our friends for having great casual get-togethers and have done it many, many times.

My husband wanted to have a housewarming party in the new house and I was a little nervous about some of his co-workers on the guest list. We have had many parties through the years and we had long since learned who to leave off the list. Well he insisted on inviting Gary from his office. I love Gary, but his girlfriend Jane is rather rude and uppity and I knew she would be coming.

We planned a four hour casual party with dinner, had rsvp's and a good head count for the meal and liquor and everything was going well until Gary & Jane arrived. It seems Jane had "invited" some of her friends (three) as well. Ok, we still had enough food, not a big deal until one of Jane's friends got on the phone and "invited" some of her friends over for a free meal also. Soon another three friends arrived, again I wasn't too concerned about the food. The friends weren't known to us at all and I was never introduced to some of them, from either the first or the second group, but still I was friendly to everyone and it seemed to be okay.

Then about an hour and half into our party one of Jane's friends announced that she was going dancing at one of the local bars and proceeded to invite everyone along. She even went from guest to guest inviting them to leave with her! I was so stunned I couldn't even react.

We had all eaten and were visiting in the living room area setting up for some card games and dominoes, as we usually do at these gatherings, while I tidied up the kitchen area and fixed coffee and set out dessert.

The woman continued to loudly request that someone go with her dancing. Everyone seemed shocked at her behavior. Finally, Gary, Jane, and all the other drop-in guests leave to go dancing. Not one word of thanks from any of the drop-ins, certainly not a second is spent helping with the clean up and all the way out the door she is saying, "y'all come with us, it'll be MORE fun". On the way out I hear the loud woman say to Jane, "I thought you said we were going to have fun this evening?" A few minutes after they left there was cheering & clapping from the rest of the guests.

Needless to say Gary was immediately mentally crossed off our guest list and has never been invited again, he's still with Jane. He has never mentioned the incident to us either at my husband's office or at any of the other functions we have been to.

In my whole life, I have never had a guest be that  rude.    Guest0621-03

 Because we are planning this wedding in the town where we live (we have only lived here for a couple of months, so we know very few people and about 90% of the guests are from out of town), I figured we would get off easy with respect to guests inviting themselves to the wedding. Not quite! Some background: Several years ago I joined an online role-playing site where many of the gamers were friends in real life as well as in character. Many of the players were in high school (I was 21 at the time) -- I tended to bond more with the older players, but was polite to the teenagers. 

In 2001, I met a number of them at a weekend get-together, including a then-fifteen-year-old I'll call "Mara." Mara was definitely trying too hard the entire weekend to be buddy-buddy with everyone, and she got on everybody's nerves. About a year and a half ago, I stopped role-playing on the site -- I just wasn't as interested. I lost contact with all but a few of the other players, and certainly didn't keep in contact with Mara. A few weeks ago, I finally made a "goodbye" post to the site -- "it's been fun role-playing with you all, but it's time to move on, and for those of you who're interested, I've just moved to XYZ city, I got a new job, and I'm getting married in four months."

 Today I got a piece of email from Mara...with THIS in it: "YOU'RE IN XYZ CITY!? I'M IN XYZ CITY!!! Omigod! Well, I'm not in XYZ city right now because it's summer, so I'm back in my home town . But if you're going to get married in four months in XYZ city you bet your ass that I'll crash or *something* or beg to play at your wedding (since I'm officially a piano major now, hee!). And who knows, maybe I can get (boyfriend's name here) to come with me, too..." Thank god this chick doesn't know the date or the place. She's not going to find out from me, either. Crash my wedding? Bring another guest?!    Guest0522-03

My husband and I are both strict vegetarians, and felt very strongly that our ethics just could not allow for the serving of meat at our reception. We arranged a meal with our caterer that we felt even the most diehard carnivore could enjoy. In fact, after the wedding, we received countless compliments about the unique and delicious meal. However, not everyone was so impressed. 

We found out about the actions of a certain guest at the end of the night, as our reception was coming to a close. One of my friends informed me that during the dinner, one of our guests brought out a bagged bologna sandwich that he had brought with him, and was attempting to auction it off to other guests. Had I known, of course, I would have graciously laughed at the "funny" joke. Still, I was a bit amazed that someone would do that. My friend said that most people just smiled politely and carried on with their meal. My father-in-law was less than amused, but apparently said nothing. I wasn't angry, I just couldn't imagine doing that at a wedding. The day was wonderful, though, and I have fond memories of the ceremony and reception.     Guest0129-03

This summer, my OH and I attended the wedding of a couple of friends from work. I had spent much time with the bride, and was touched to be asked to the shower and bachelorette party--sometimes it's hard to know how someone feels about you. I listened to her concerns about the big day, and tried to calm her as much as possible. 

The day of the wedding, one the groom's guests appeared and almost instantly became the talk of the day. The bride and I had a good laugh about this a few weeks later... Miss Thing arrives in a black dress with a blue flower print, very short, very form fitting. I don't want to mean, but this girl did not have the figure for that dress, and was spilling out over the top. She had a water bottle inside the church, but I didn't think much of it as this was June in Arizona. For part of ceremony, Miss Thing spends her time turned in the pew, staring at the groom's boss (also a friend of mine). During the vows, Miss Thing drops the cap of the water bottle, which skitters loudly across the tile to the middle of the aisle. She then gets up to retrieve it, smiling at everyone. So far, not that bad, right? 

At the reception, Miss Thing is flirting with everyone, including the bride's very married brother. During the dancing, she's grinding her hips against the groin of the Best Man (as the Best Man's girlfriend looked on). Alcohol wasn't helping. During the bouquet toss, Miss Thing executed a hip check to grab the bouquet, nearly knocking the woman who was in line for it to the floor. When the garter removal was announced, none of the single men budged. My OH went up grudgingly with some others, and the men conducted a brief huddle. When the garter was tossed, the men neatly stepped to each side, and the one who was designated to "take one for the team" reluctantly caught it. When Miss Thing was seated for the garter to be placed, she raised her dress *much* too high, and tried to guide the garter man's hands higher up her leg. 

As the dancing continued, so did the alcohol, and Miss Thing continued to shake what God gave her. She was still going when we left. After her scene, and after reading some of the other stories on this site, my OH and I have decided to elope.    Guest0205-03

My fiancé was the best man for his best friend's wedding a few years ago. The other members of the groom's party were the groom's brother and a high-school friend of both my fiancé and the groom I'll call Bob. Bob started dating a girl right before the wedding. We'll call her Freak since that's what she was. Anyway, Freak wasted no time in moving in with Bob and getting her hooks in him good. Within a month, they'd moved in together and were talking about getting married and buying a house together. Freak had no job at the time and mooched off Bob instead. It was quite the bizarre situation, but Bob isn't a very conventional guy so it was par for the course for him.

 A few nights before the wedding, my fiancé and Bob were supposed to be hosting a bachelor party for the groom. (The groom lived out east so he didn't get into town until right before the wedding.) They're not drinkers or partiers but instead decided to have an informal get-together at Bob's house. Freak agreed to make herself scarce to facilitate the evening. The only problem was, Freak was new to our community and had no friends. My fiancé begged me to entertain her for the evening so they could have their party. I reluctantly agreed. 

Freak and I went to a restaurant where she regaled me with tales of her sex life with Bob. I heard details that would curl your hair! Keep in mind that I had just met this woman! We then went to a mall where she purchased Bob a new wallet. Using his credit card. Then she wrote a poem dedicated to Bob's wallet. I'm not kidding! We then took Bob's fancy new sports car to the gas station, where she informed me that I would have to fill the car with gas because she didn't know how to run a self-serve pump! Then we went to the drive-in to watch some movies and kill some time. 

At this point, the cell-phone hell started. She had Bob's cell phone. Now, I don't know about Bob, but my fiancé and the groom are not big 'naked, drunken bachelor party' people. My fiancé had planned an evening of video games and cigars for them, which was fine with the groom. But Freak became convinced that Bob was fooling around with hookers or strippers or something. So she launched a campaign of constant phone calls to prevent Bob from enjoying himself at all. She made probably fifty calls during the first two-hour movie! She cried and wailed and yelled at him when he refused to tell her who the guests were at the party. 

Finally, after several hours of this, she said she would be spending the evening at my apartment! (I lived at the time in a small one-room studio apartment, and, remember, had just met this woman THAT NIGHT!) I had warned my fiancé earlier that evening that, while I was willing to endure an evening in Freak's company, if she threatened to spend the evening at my apartment I would break up with him on the spot! Needless to say, he cut the evening short at that point and the party ended at 1:00 am. I spent the next two days apologizing for Freak's behavior to the groom. It wasn't me who'd ruined the party. I just didn't want that woman in my apartment overnight! 

A few days later was the wedding. Bob was with the groom and the groom's party on the day of the wedding. I reluctantly lent my hotel room to the groom's party for their prep work and agreed (very reluctantly) to join Freak and the groom's brother's girlfriend in Freak and Bob's room to dress for the wedding. Freak calls me into the bathroom with her five minutes after I arrive in the room. Breathlessly, she informs me that she thinks she's pregnant, and begs me to take her to buy a home pregnancy test! She waited to tell me because "I'm her new best friend!" So I take her to get a pregnancy test at a nearby drugstore, and she goes in the bathroom and takes it. She comes out a few minutes later and tells me it's positive! She then proceeds to interrupt the groom's party with a million phone calls to Bob concerning the 'baby'. (To this day I have no idea if there was a baby or not - she claimed to have miscarried a few weeks later.) Bob asked her to marry him immediately, and she spent the rest of the day talking about what their wedding would be like and what they would do now with a baby on the way. She monopolized every conversation and turned it back to her and Bob's impending nuptials! 

As a capper, she had a screaming fight with Bob when he failed to catch the garter, because she felt he didn't try hard enough to grab it! Bob did eventually dump Freak, although I was forced to endure a few more (equally memorable) evenings with her before she got her walking papers!    Guest0606-03