"I think this site is so underrated and
everyone needs to read a few posts and learn how not act. This whole site
serves as a wonderful cautionary tale of what not to do. "
Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jul-Dec 2000 Archive
Jan - Jul 2003 Archive
I recently attended a very formal, elegant
wedding. "Lydia" a friend that both the bride and I know came to
the ceremony with another friend "Gina". I learn later on that
"Lydia" invited not only a complete stranger as her date (to the
reception only) but she has invited a second date for "Gina" .
(unknowingly to the "Gina") But wait! there is more! Not only
did these 2 guys show up in jeans and untucked and unbuttoned shirts, they
brought a friend with them who appeared to not have showered for a month!
Showing up to a reception after skipping
the ceremony is unarguably disgraceful.
However, I respectfully submit my opinion
that not attending the reception of a wedding is also rude!
My new husband and I recently had a small
wedding, 120 guests invited. The invitation included information about the
reception immediately following, in the SAME location. Of the 85 or so
people that RSVP’ed and attended our wedding, as many as 20 of them
attended our ceremony, but then vanished before the food was served!
The RSVP count at small weddings is
important- that is the number by which one purchases food, drinks, cake,
etc. At a large affair, a few people more or less won’t mess up the
When these people didn’t stay to
celebrate, they essentially wasted our money! Pounds of food were wasted,
and a whole tier of our beautiful cake went untouched.
Should couples who want to plan a small
wedding take this into account, and ask people on the RSVP card if they’re
staying to eat? What is the polite solution? Guests 0806/03
When my now husband and I were planning our
wedding, we discovered that our venue could not accommodate more than 150
guests. Thus, we were faced with the difficult task of cutting down the
guest list. We decided not to invite my husband's father's aunt and uncle
("Earl" and "Janet") because my husband had never met
them before and truthfully had no idea who they were.
A few weeks after the wedding, we received
card from "Earl" and "Janet" that said:
"We did not receive an invitation.
However, Congratulations, and Good Luck. Earl and Janet."
Hi, great site! Here is my story about a
guest from hell. I was married on June 30, 2001, on what the local news
said was the hottest day south Jersey had seen in something like 50 years.
Plus, the AC in the church was not working properly, so everyone was hot.
Anyway, while we were having our receiving line, the bridesmaids stood in
the doorway that led to the bride's room ( a small classroom where they
had set up numerous floor fans) so as to stay out of the way of the guests
filing past. One of my bridesmaids, I'll call her S, sat down in the
bride's room by herself and pulled her dress up to her knees so as to cool
down a little. None of the guests could see her, and she wasn't exposing
herself in any way, just trying to cool off. Well, a guest and supposed
best friend of S's, I'll call her B, spotted her in the room. After coming
through the receiving line, B went into the bride's room and proceeded to
berate S and tell her that she was a "disgrace to (my) wedding
party" and that she looked like "trash". Later on, at the
reception, B got into a fight in the parking lot with another one of the
bridesmaids, E, because B was blatantly flirting with her boyfriend
(sitting on his lap, feeding him drinks, etc). Finally, at the end of the
reception, B invited numerous people back to her house for "the real
party", and never said goodbye to either my husband or me. Rude B!!
This isn’t too cataclysmic, given the
nature of some of these stories, but I thought I’d share!
Our wedding went off just beautifully, but
when we watched the video when we got back, there was an interesting
snippet from a guest at the end. See, we were going to Jamaica on our
honeymoon, and I guess it’s known for marijuana (wouldn’t know about
that, since neither hubby nor I indulge in such things). Anyway, this
guest stands in front of the video camera and goes on and on about how he
was sure that the groom and I would be "smoking all those illegal
substances in Jamaica, and be sure to bring some back for him!"
This was especially mortifying as I was
watching the video with my very religious parents at the time!
I have been with my partner for five
years, and recently we were invited to his cousin's wedding. His cousin is
a thoroughly lovely person, who works in computers and financed the entire
event himself. (This is relevant!)
On the day of the wedding, we were due to
be picked up by my SO's father, but we got a call an hour before the
wedding saying they were running late and could we get over to his house?
We made it barely 45 minutes before the wedding was due to start, a record
considering the distance, to find everyone in the house still dressing
(still showering in one case). Then we got stuck in traffic. Luckily, when
we made it onto the road with the church on, the car with the bride in it
was stuck behind us, so we had time to say hasty hellos to the people
around us. I'd never met many of these relatives before, so I was on my
best behavior. One aunt turned to me with a serious expression, and said,
"Hello, I'm ****. I'm the rich aunt". Fine.... but how do you
reply to that? "Hi, I'm ****. I'm the poor relation?" I opted
for good behavior, and smiled and said only my name and a vague compliment
about her hat.
The wedding began, and the bride looked
beautiful. The mass went (presumably) well, although I'm not Catholic so I
can't be certain. But the priest chose to make a sermon in which he
exhorted the congregation to remember how many marriages end in divorce
and otherwise acrimoniously. Hardly the right subject matter for the happy
After the sermon came Holy Communion. I am
not Catholic, as I mentioned, and so I did not get up to take it. My SO
stayed in his seat in solidarity with me, but we were pretty much the only
ones and there were several whispers in my general direction, although I'm
willing to accept these may have been innocent and I may have been
After the wedding, we went outside to take
photographs. The church had a wonderful garden joining the cemetery to the
main church, with a gentle slope upwards. Perfect for photography...
except the photographer grouped us in the car park and stood in the grotto
(containing effigies of the Virgin Mary and the Infant Jesus) to take the
pictures. Many of the males in the family are extremely tall. The groom is
not one of the tall ones, and the photographer made several comments on
this fact at the top of his voice.
After the photography, we made our way to
the reception, in a wonderful hotel in the countryside. We made it safely
into the waiting area, where we *waited* as the bridal party had their own
pictures taken. I was introduced to several relatives and again was on my
best behavior. At dinner we were seated at a table of ten. One couple were
American relatives, and were most disparaging of myself and my SO's
professions, or lack of them (we're both grad students). The male of the
couple was very interested in the amount of money we earned, which
obviously isn't very much at all, and proceeded to explain exactly why
we're wasting our time with all these studies. Especially myself, because
after all, I'm only going to waste it once I have children, right?
Also at the table was a couple who had
married the year before. The female of this couple was wearing HER OWN
WEDDING DRESS, shortened to knee length. A strapless white dress in silk,
exactly like the actual bride's except for the length. She spent the meal
discussing her wedding and how much better it was than this one.
The final noteworthy couple were smokers. I
have always been taught that, if you choose to engage in such a habit, you
ask the people around you if they mind before you light up. You also make
an effort to keep the smoke away from them. Lastly, and most damningly, if
you can't last more than the length of one course in a five course meal
without a cigarette, you're an animal and not fit to be in decent company.
This couple had never been taught these things, and merrily lit up between
every course. Worse, as several people at this table were vegetarian, this
couple were smoking as others' food was arriving, and making no effort to
keep the smoke away from the food.
After the meal, the speeches began. They
were all exactly as they should be, until the bride's father got up and
informed the guests that the groom had had precisely nothing to do with
the wedding preparations. (Remember I told you he paid for it all?). The
intake of breath from all his relatives nearly drowned out the rest of the
I went to a wedding yesterday, and couldn't
wait to get home to write this one in to you.
It wasn't really a wedding, but a
reception, as the bride and groom had had a small wedding a few months
before with family only. They had both been married before and had grown
children and even grandchildren. The reception started out just great, the
guest were nice and pretty well behaved considering the amount of alcohol
being drank. This was in a nice hall, and the whole shindig, thought not
formal, had cost big bucks and you could tell. Dinner had been served and
cake etc. Most of the guests were on the back patio enjoying the beautiful
One of the guests, lets call her Barb. ,
went and got her truck and pulled it to the back of the patio and pulled
out a wooden box, 3' X 4' X 2' and proceeded to growl at one of the
servers to get her a stand for the box and an extension cord. She then
proceeded to plug in this "box" and open up the doors to show
off the stain-glass painted light bulbs she had for sale!!! Anyone that
walked by was subject to her peddling. Barb, even went and got the bride
and shoved an order form in her hands and asked her which ones she would
like to order!!! Thank God the bride had class, and said that she wasn't
interested and walked away.
A co-worker of mine got engaged. I wouldn't
exactly call her and I "close" but none the less about 10 other
co-workers and me were invited to the wedding.
I planned on taking a guy from out of town
I was dating to the wedding. I already invited this person to go with me.
A few weeks before the wedding, we were talking about the wedding (which
she did CONSTANTLY) cause our cubicles are all around the same general
area....and I happened to mention my date was coming a day early to help
me pick out and outfit to wear to the wedding. She looked at me blankly
and said,..."what date? You know you aren't allowed to bring a
date" I said, "what?" and she said,.."didn't you
notice your invitation was only addressed to YOU not YOU plus guest?"
I said, "well I just assumed,.." and she said,..."Nooooo we
are trying to save money, and unless you are married or in a serious
committed relationship, we ask that you don't bring anyone"...I was
like what the hell? Soooo I had to go to this wedding stag, like a loser.
When I got to the reception....I noticed there was NO assigned seating, so
I ended up sitting with some people I didn't even know and I hated ever
second of it. They had an open bar, but it was only wine, that's it. What
if you don't drink wine? Then what?
I will have to say the whole "no
guest" thing is the biggest etiquette faux pas
EVER!!! Guests 0915/03
Surprise! Storyteller goes
straight into Etiquette Hell for griping about a perfectly acceptable
reason for the bride and groom to not extend the invitation to guests of
guests. Double boot into the abyss of my Etiquette Hell for
whining about only wine being served at the open bar. Some guests
are incredibly ungrateful and demanding.
This may have been partly bad etiquette on
my part as well, but here it goes....
My boss "Katie" (who was also a
friend) was getting married. She felt that it wasn't right to invite any
co-workers (aside from other managers) because she didn't want anyone to
feel left out. She made it clear "on the side" that the managers
could bring other co-workers as their guests. She felt this was the best
solution to the problem of inviting some people and not others. Anyway, my
very good friend "Dana" was one of the managers, and she was
bringing me as her guest, which "Katie" was aware of. Dana had a
boyfriend (whom we all couldn't stand) and he was moving to another state
the following day, so he would be too busy to attend the wedding. The
wedding was to take place early on a Saturday morning, in a beautiful
church in the hills near our homes. Although it is a short distance away
mileage-wise, the road is quite windy and it takes a while to get there. I
was supposed to meet Dana at her house at 7:30 that morning so we could be
at the church by 10. Saturday morning arrives, I get up early, get
dressed, and head over to Dana's. Her car is not in the driveway, but that
didn't concern me. Her mother opens the door (she still lives at home) and
tells me Dana is not there. She had gone to her boyfriend's house (an
hour's drive from home) the night before (in the middle of the night, no
less) and had not returned. Her mother was quite angry about this, as she
had not bothered to tell her mother, and she had 2 children who lived in
the home as well. Mom was stuck with the kids without being told about it
in advance. Anyway, she wants me to call Dana and get her to come home. I
go inside and call her cell phone, only to hear it ringing in her bedroom!
So her mom digs and digs until she finds boyfriend's phone number. I call
over there and he answers the phone, sounding quite groggy. I ask for
Dana, and he puts her on the phone. She asks me where I am calling from,
and at first doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm at her house waiting
for her! She then wakes up and starts yammering a mile a minute that
she'll get dressed, head home, change and head to the ceremony - she'll
meet me there, since she'll be a little late. We agree upon this
arrangement, I tell her mother about this and head out the door (after her
mother warns me that she wouldn't hold her breath waiting for Dana if she
were I). I get to the wedding on time, gather with our other co-workers
outside the church, who ask where Dana is. I tell them a pared down
version of the story, and tell them that she'll be here a little late.
(Dana, by the way, is notorious for being late or not showing up at all).
We start jokingly making bets about whether she'll actually show up or
not. The ceremony ends, and still no Dana. At this point, Katie has
noticed that she is not there, and asks me where she is. I explain to her
what happened, and she's pretty shocked that Dana still hasn't managed to
show up (keep in mind this is over 2 hours after the ceremony started).
Katie and Groom go off to take pictures, and I begin to wonder if I should
go to the reception, since I wasn't technically invited to the wedding, I
was the "Guest" of a guest who didn't show up. The MOH (who was
another manager) assured me that Katie wanted me there, it's Dana's
problem, not mine. Everyone agrees, and though I feel uneasy about it, I
go to the reception. The reception was lovely, everyone had a great time,
Katie herself assured me that she wanted me there and not to feel bad
about it. I ended up catching the bouquet, and all of the co-workers made
jokes at Dana's expense. We all made jokes about me being the
"uninvited invited guest" and managed to amuse ourselves with
Fast forward to the next day - Dana never
did show up, even though the reception lasted about 5 hours. She also
didn't bother to call me that night. I get a call from her the next
morning, apologizing for not showing up, asking if Katie was upset. She
apparently had wanted to spend the day with her boyfriend, since he was
moving out of state the following day (and she was so terribly upset that
he would be so far away from her). I lost my temper, and proceeded to yell
at her about how horrible it was to treat both Katie and myself that way,
and that I hoped it was worth it to her to miss her friend's wedding,
since that is something you can never get back. She cried (typical Dana
behavior) and apologized up the ying yang (again, typical). She cried on
and on about how I was right, blah blah blah. After this, everyone at work
(and to this day - 7 years later) stopped inviting Dana to any events
(since this was not the first time something like this had happened with
her). She got her comeuppance, when her boyfriend dumped her (over the
phone) the following day (just hours before his moving truck left), and
told her that that very morning he had slept with another co-worker of
ours (we had all suspected this for a long time) and was going to be with
her now. He and the other girl ended up getting married a year or so
later, and I, for one, never let her forget that she ditched the wedding
to spend the day with this schmuck.
I first found your site when I was planning
my wedding in August 2000 and what a lifesaver it was! It certainly
stopped me in my tracks if I felt a "bridezilla" moment coming
I am in the UK and we planned a traditional
English wedding. As a result we invited all the members of both our
families and our friends (around 150) both to the church and the
reception. We got married in a small chapel that just about housed
everyone, and of course as it was so small everyone in the church could
hear every word said.
I had been concerned in advance of the day
because my husband’s mum (now sadly deceased) had quite a severe
drinking problem. She couldn't always be guaranteed to stay sober for
these occasions but she was so proud of us both that she did make the
effort and didn't drink (to which I am eternally grateful as I know how
hard it was for her). Unfortunately we didn't figure in my husbands
brother. He isn't an alcoholic, but does like a drink or five and cant
hold his ale. He had recently split up with his girlfriend and wasn't very
happy about the fact that he "had" to come to our wedding. We
did tell him that if he felt he couldn't attend then we would understand,
as he wasn't a member of the wedding party. But he insisted that he
"had" to attend, to be honest I wish he hadn't.
I entered the church to see my now husband
and my son (aged 11 and our best man) waiting for me, with my daughter
aged 4 behind me as our only BM. They all looked wonderful and the church
was beautiful and packed to the rafters! The ceremony started and we began
to hear some muttering. We weren't too concerned as we had actively
encouraged children to attend and assumed it came from one of them. The
muttering got louder, to the point where the minister was taking us
through our vows and had to stop and repeat them louder to be heard. As I
repeated my vows to my husband I heard "How much more of this sh*t
have we got to sit through, I want a f****** fag (cigarette)". I was
absolutely gutted and my husband was furious. Luckily we made it through
the rest of the service without interruption but the photos are ruined by
this miserable faced brother with a cigarette in his mouth. We ditched the
photos outside the church and went straight to the reception so that we
could stop his brother mouthing off and swearing around our other guests.
So we have no pictures at all of us at our church.
At the reception he became so drunk in 30
mins, I kid you not, that he had to be forcibly removed and driven home by
my FIL. I have never been so embarrassed as all my dearest friends and
relations witnessed all of this. Speaking to them since though no one
really remembers it and they all said what a great time they had which is
We have never forgiven this behavior,
mainly because when my husband talked to him about it after our honeymoon,
he said that he was bored so what did we expect? Frankly this isn't an
explanation I would have accepted from my daughter never mind a
35-year-old man. He thought the whole thing absolutely hysterical.
Oh well, we are still happily married, have
another daughter and are trying hard for number 4, he hasn't had a
girlfriend stick around for more than a couple of weeks because of his
behavior. As they say, he who laughs last.............Guests 1017/03
Just when I thought I was all out of
stories...here's another one.
It concerns one of the bridesmaids (dubbed
"D.G." for this story, short for DRUNK GIRL) at a wedding I
attended last year. D.G. is, well, to put it nicely an
"extrovert" (and that's putting it VERY nicely. Personally, I
think she's obnoxious. You'll soon see why). I was sitting at a table
consisting of my best friend, her husband, his VERY conservative parents,
another bridesmaid and this bridesmaid's boyfriend. D.G. comes over (drunk
already, and it's not even 5 p.m.) to our table. I'm not even sure how it
got to this (and perhaps it's best I don't remember), but next thing I
know, D.G. in an embarrassingly loud voice, describes in blatant detail
her latest sexual escapade with this boyfriend. She then, I kid you not
here, BENDS OVER ON THE TABLE to illustrate said sexual position, complete
with "appropriate" movements and vocal sounds! To say I was
"uncomfortable" would be the understatement of the year.
I found out later (as I had to leave
earlier than originally planned) that D.G. consumed even more alcohol as
the night wore on and proceeded to pick fights with every single person
she could, including the bride's mother! The groom finally had to
"escort" her off the property when she got into a shoving match
with another guest.
I’m not completely surprised at her
antics, as I've heard worse about this woman. The general attitude of most
people who know her is, "That's _____ for you!".
I was the matron of honor at my sister's
wedding three years ago. I had three children at the time; the two older
girls were in the bridal party. My youngest daughter was three weeks old.
At the reception at a nearby hotel, I had to leave at one point to nurse
my daughter in the restroom. When I returned, my mom and my sister were
both very angry. It turns out that most of the wedding party (except my
sister, luckily for her) had been standing outside near the pool on the
patio that adjoined the reception hall, enjoying the early fall sunshine.
One of the bridesmaids, "W," had brought her verbally abusive
jerk of a boyfriend as a guest. This guy had pushed the bridesmaids into
the pool, ruining their beautiful silk bridesmaid gowns! The best man and
the groom were also pushed in (I suspect that this boyfriend had an
accomplice or two). The guys all thought it was hilarious, but the girls
of course were extremely ticked off to say the least. The bridesmaids had
to leave the reception. The groom and the best man had rented tuxes that
needed to be returned in pristine condition in order to get their deposits
back. I wonder, had I not been nursing my baby at the time, if I would
have been out on the patio with the other guests and pushed in as well.
This scares me thinking about what could have happened because my older
daughters were by my side for most of the reception (but they were inside
with my mom while I was nursing the baby) and they were non-swimmers; they
might have fallen in the pool too. Some guests should never be allowed to
drink alcohol during weddings!
Hello! Someone recently told me about your
website, and said I ought to submit my story, so here goes. I've changed
all the names, and even the costume!
I had planned my and my then-fiancé's
wedding to be a "period" affair. I had stated on the invitations
that guests would be welcome to wear clothing from the Middle Ages and
renaissance if they chose. I made my own dress and accoutrements, as well
as the outfit for my husband, one bridesmaid, and part of that of another
bridesmaid, an old and dear friend of mine, Gwen. The invitation went out
not only to party and family members but also to the entire local group of
folks with whom we do re-enactment, who are in balance mostly our friends.
I knew this would mean that Carrie would be likely to attend, but counted
on her good behavior, since she was nominally a friend of my husband's.
The day arrived and I was impressed and
honored that so many of our guests had made an effort to dress up in
clothes that they wouldn't normally wear, and appreciated that some of
them had been rented just for the occasion. One of the folks who had
dressed up in a rented costume was a mentally handicapped cousin of my
husband. A sweeter guy you'll never meet, and his looks as well as his
demeanor and speech capacity signal his mental ability. He came up to the
head table to tell me how pretty he thought I was and was excited to show
off his costume, which was a monk/Friar Tuck outfit, thoroughly Hollywood
in execution. I told him how handsome he was in his outfit, and he
positively sparkled. I was really happy that he had tried, and had felt so
obviously complimented by some simple words.
The time at which he approached us was
really the first chance we'd gotten to sit down and grab some dinner -
we'd circulated while our party ate, pretty much trading off guest
entertainment and greeting duties so that everyone in the party would get
a chance to eat. Our wedding party had already eaten, and were beginning
to circulate through the crowd, and Gwen was talking to some folks when
she heard Carrie make nasty comments to her table about the quality of the
cousin's costume! Gwen let me know after the event, because she didn't
want me to think that "Carrie was a friend." I assured her that
that hadn't been since Carrie had visited my home and criticized my
(gratis) catering of a course for a nonprofit event while she was there.
Since then, and based not only on this
cheap shot but on the sum of her behavior, Carrie has not been welcome in
our house. Guests 1106/03
Aside from a few very minor snafus, my
wedding was perfect...beautiful, and the happiest day of my life. BUT. A
couple who is good friends with my in-laws have two children, near my
husband and my ages, although we've never been friendly with either one.
As our wedding was a small affair, we invited only the parents. (Note, we
eliminated a lot of people who we would have liked to have there, but
simply did not have room for). When the response card came, it said there
would be 3 attending (the invitation was very clearly for two only). My
mother-in-law phoned them to see what the scoop was, and discovered that
they were bringing their daughter because "it will be nice for her to
see what she's in for." Okay, so after festering briefly we sucked it
up and just calculated an extra guest into everything. Lo and behold, on
wedding day, there were FOUR in their party--their daughter (not even an
original invitee!) had brought a date. No one besides her and her parents
had any clue who the guy was, and I'm certain we'll never see him again.
They spent the entire reception groping each other in the corner. Another
guest later told me that they were very touchy-feely during the Catholic
wedding ceremony as well. Lucky us--the mystery man is in a number of our
A few months after my husband and I were
married an extremely small civil ceremony, my parents threw us an
absolutely lovely reception at a hotel with a nice banquet room. Many of
our family and friends traveled to join us. It was a truly memorable event
that everyone thoroughly enjoyed, and there is that one guest that we
still talk and laugh about to this day, three years later.
"Honey" was the girlfriend of one of my husband's best friends,
"Buddy," from high school. They were seated at a table with some
of our college friends and Honey reportedly had a mouth that would put a
longshoreman to shame. She was beautiful with very exotic features, though
it was hard to tell behind her makeup, and at first glance I though her
tight, revealing dress was see-through, but it was actually just about the
same color as her skin. She was spied in the ladies restroom pulling
herself further out of her low cut dress as she did not have a Barbie doll
bust line. My SIL told us later she thought Honey was a professional of
the oldest profession, and quite a few other friends inquired if she was
really this guy's girlfriend. Honey ate little but packed away the beer
and apparently got a little frisky with Buddy at the back of the banquet
room. I don't think any clothing was removed but I'm told there was quite
a bit of grinding going on. However, before of retiring to their room,
Honey decided she wanted to dance with my husband. No problem, I start
dancing with Buddy, he's a nice guy and a good dancer. Honey on the other
hand was putting on quite a show of bumping and grinding with my very
red-faced husband. I think she was trying to use him as a stripper's pole,
lost her balance (the booze helped), and my too kind husband held out his
hand to try to steady her. This of course only encouraged her more, and
she doubled her bumping and grinding efforts. The other guests stopped
dancing to watch, and my 90-year-old great aunt, seated right next to the
dance floor, was holding an auction to sell her front row seat to the
highest bidder. We both knew my poor husband needed rescuing, but when
Buddy tried to step in he was firmly told with multiple expletives that
she was dancing with the groom and she would take care of Buddy later. So
Buddy and I just kept dancing, though I think the band prolonged the song
they were playing not wanting to see the show end. I don't remember if
there was applause when it finally did end. Both Buddy and I jumped in
when it looked like Honey was going to give my husband a nice, big,
farewell kiss, but I think she might just lost her balance again. Buddy
carried Honey upstairs to their hotel room soon thereafter, and we still
get a good laugh out of it.
My FH and I went to a wedding in New Mexico
[ 4hr flight] this summer. It was a very small wedding - maybe 30 guests.
FH was the best man. I was the only guest who was non-family. I had only
met the groom 5 or 6 times, since they live two provinces away, and had
never met the bride. So the groom says to me... I need a few favors....
1. Can you complete the songlist for me? He just brought his laptop and
hooked it up to a speaker system instead of getting a DJ. I'm sorry why is
a guest doing this on the morning of your wedding? Don't think so.
2. Can you drive me to the ceremony? Again, WTF! I don't even know the
roads in the city I'm in, let alone getting you to the ceremony on time.
That was a No.
3. By the way... since you're the only guest that isn't family, can you
stay inside and start the wedding music. I'm sorry, shouldn't I be outside
sitting in a chair with the rest of the guests? Now I'm starting to get
4. Oh yes, and dear "guest"... we only have the photographer for
about an hour... can you take my digital camera and take the rest of the
pictures after the photographer leaves? Wow. Jaw hits the floor. FH trying
to calm me down.
5. After the dinner, the couple does say thank you personally. It was nice
and very appreciated. I'm glad they appreciated my SERVICES... but I would
have appreciated just being a guest.
6. Here's the top of the wedding cake... after saying thank you to me,
They put me on the spot... They've decided to honeymoon in New York and
would like to stay a few nights with FH and I. As in tomorrow night. Wow.
Unprepared. Shouldn't you have made honeymoon plans months ago. Shouldn't
you have asked us months ago? So now I'm your DJ, Photographer, and
DON'T THINK SO. FH didn't even get a gift for being best man.
Well, I always try to be as nice as
possible, and always let people stay in our spare room if they are from
out of town. I explained to them that it was extremely short notice and
really would have appreciated not being put on the spot.
So I said that they were welcome to stay one night until they found hotel
accommodations. I explained to them that I have a strict no-sex rule in
the spare bedroom [ we are not a hotel, I don't want to listen to it, and
on top of it... it's the bed that I grew up sleeping in and I don't want
people having sex my childhood bed] and when I told them that they
laughed. They said that I couldn't possibly stop them from having sex on
Well, they came to New York, they stayed in a hotel, and griped about the
added cost. I think they got off pretty good having to only pay for the
hotel, since they didn't have to pay for a DJ, or photographer.
My so and I had newborn son and we received
an invite to the wedding of his youngest uncle. In it, there was a
"no children" policy. None. Nada. Niet. So we declined the
service - I was not going to be separated from my nurseling for more than
4 hours and we felt the reception was long enough to be apart. We hired a
sitter and we went to the reception.
There, someone kicked over my breast pump
bag and spilt milk on the floor. Ok.. that's not so bad. No one knew it
wasn't just a purse.... I had to clean it up and the idiot didn't
What was worse was this one couple arrived
with a toddler and stayed for an hour!!! My breasts were full of milk and
I was aching to nurse my son and _they_ dared to bring a child to a
"NO CHILDREN" wedding???? My son would have been sleeping most
of the wedding - this was a toddler who ran around and disturbed everyone.
If we had to pay for a sitter, why didn't they?
Then there were the teenagers who were
running around getting drunk by stealing drinks from the adults. GRRR. No
children means no children and teenagers are children! There was a
freeflowing free bar and everyone was getting drunk! No one under the
drinking age - 19 in B.C. - should have been there!
I love your site! After reading some
stories I really started feeling better about what happened when I was
planning my wedding. This is long, but quick read. My family lives in the
northeast and my fiancé's family lives in the west. Planning a wedding to
make both sides of the family happy was almost impossible. So my fiancé,
Alex and I decided to get married in Venice, Italy and only bring those
people closest to us. We decided to take 4 people with us and pay for all
their accommodations, private tours around the city and basically live it
up for 1 entire week. The only things our guests had to pay for were
airfare (around $700) and dinner on the nights we didn't take them out.
This celebration was costing us about the same as a nice wedding for a
small number of people in the US and we got to go for an entire week. I
tell my best friend, Jane, that I would love for HER to be there. She said
that she and her boyfriend Dick would love to go. They had only been
dating for 3 months, but Jane is in her 30's and swore that Dick was the
one and they would be married by the time our wedding came around in 1
year. Dick is a Lawyer and makes very good money. If Dick attends we have
to get an extra room, and the extra room will cost us $500 a night. So I
told her that he could go, if he pays for half of the extra room costs.
She says that "money is not a problem". Then Dick loses his job
and Jane says that she can't "bear to part with Dick for even 1
week". I really wanted her to be there, so I told her that since Dick
lost his job, we would pay the extra costs and he can still go. Then she
tells me that I shouldn't book too many day trips in Venice because Alex
and I will want some time alone. If we wanted time alone we would elope,
we were bringing people to spend time with those people. It was obvious
she and Dick wanted to be alone and turn our wedding into their vacation.
Fast forward to 6 months before the wedding and Dick gets another job
making really good money again. Jane brags about how he wants to buy a
house, new car, etc. They never even offer to pay for any of the costs for
Dick to come to our wedding celebrations. I bit my lip and didn't say
anything. Then one day I talk to Jane and she tells me that she and Dick
plan on making a 3-week vacation out of my wedding. They have looked into
taking a 2-week European cruise that will drop them off in Venice, where
they can meet us for the wedding. My jaw hit the floor. Jane forces me to
invite a man that my fiancé and I have nicknamed "the most selfish
person on the planet", they are not married or engaged and they
didn't even offer to chip in ANY money for Dick's part of the trip or the
extra room we have to get because of him. Then she has the nerve to tell
me they are taking a 2-week European cruise before freeloading at our
wedding! I was REALLY ticked off and my fiancé was nice and didn't say
anything. I finally called Jane and told her that we were incurring too
many expenses with the wedding and that we couldn't afford to take Dick,
but we would still love for her to come. I really don't want her anywhere
near my wedding at this point, so I told her she would have to share a
room with my brother and he snores really loud. Luckily, she has turned me
down and I'm bringing someone else who will be tons of fun. I don't regret
the decision to give Jane the boot at all, and after reading some of the
stories here, I'm glad that I didn't wait until the wedding to realize my
The first story concerns my fiancé’s
brother, I'll call "J" who came from across the border to share
our special day with us. He brought his serious g/f and this was the first
time that I got to meet this "J" and his g/f/ and the 1st time
his parents would see him in years and the 1st time ever that his parents
would meet the g/f and my parents. Whoa! heavy- lots of firsts, which
means people should be sensitive and behave their best.
Well, during the party, my future in-laws
(as nice as they usually are, although they do tend to be on the
"anal retentive" side) took it upon themselves to point out
"unclean" spots on the tables at the restaurant (they arrived
before us) and generally being kind of rude to the owner who was my
acquaintance and who gave us many free meals at our favorite weekend
hangout which was this restaurant.
He made a point of telling me how
"stiff" my in-laws were and I was very embarrassed.
At the party, "J" proceeded to
get high all throughout, and my mother yes, my mother followed him around
and got high with him too, as well as telling everyone what a crush she
had on one of my fiancé’s friends who was present (he's 26, she's 47)
Gifts were optional- especially for people
my age since I knew they didn't have much money to spare. Prior to the
party some of my friends actually asked me and whined-
" I don't actually have to get gifts
do I?". Not with that attitude- I don't want them!
However if it was I going to an expensive
party like this that cost my parents a lot of money I would not arrive
empty-handed and of course it is the thought that counts so even flowers
would be nice. But my best friend, "P" not only arrived late
with my other friend, making her late against her will too- completely
empty handed, but her hair appointment had gone wrong, so she pouted and
had bad negative vibes throughout the whole party, and even went as far as
telling one of my fiancé’s friends that she's mad at me because ever
since I met my fiancé I don't hang out with her as much (geez I wonder
why?). She hardly talked to me the whole night. Some people that I didn't
know very well I invited too, and it turned out that they were way more
gracious than some of my close friends or relatives!
Fast forward, to the day after-
"J" and his g/f are still staying with us, and we have a dinner
party to go to at which the future in-laws and my parents would be.
Well , the morning of the dinner-party
"J" keeps whining about his mother whom he doesn't get along
with, he also whines that he wants to be taken to hike some wild mountains
that are about a 4-hour drive away. So we do our best and take him to some
wilderness spots that are about 2 hours away. Not good enough for
"J", we arrive at some park which is not "wild" enough
for "J" and he proceeds to FREAK OUT big time on the parking
lot. He starts yelling at my fiancé for not keeping his word to entertain
him, and how hard it is for him to get 3 days off work (which is a lie
because he takes frequent trips to music festivals and takes 2-3 days off
for those), and other unfair insults. My fiancé got so upset at this, and
he's the most even-tempered and accommodating guy- he starts shaking his
fist, and getting the most upset I have ever seen him. I still get sooo
angry thinking about this. Geez, I though "J" was here to meet
me and see his parents, and attend the party not to be driven around the
So since he didn't get what he wanted, he
made us drive him to some other hiking place, and the hike
"stretched" into late afternoon, making us late for the dinner
party which was what "J" wanted all along- to get revenge on his
Need I also mention that "J" and
his g/f (who is a nice girl- I don't know how she can stand him) made us
late for our own engagement party the night before, because they took so
long getting ready, but didn't have a ride to the restaurant.
Well, as you must by now understand our
wedding plans are postponed until further notice!