"I think this site is so underrated and
everyone needs to read a few posts and learn how not act. This whole site
serves as a wonderful cautionary tale of what not to do. "
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My family recently had two very large, expensive weddings, and
although we are a very close family, I couldn't help but sense the air of
competition between the cousins who were each getting married. The first
wedding, between 'Jack' and 'Jill', was in August; it was the second marriage
for each, and Jill in particular was absolutely loaded thanks to a divorce
settlement. The wedding was a huge bash, no expenses spared. Soon
after getting married, Jack traded in his Honda for a Hummer and they were
already buying not one but two new houses and spending like there was no
tomorrow. So, a couple of months later it's time for 'Mike' and 'Mary' to
get married. While not nearly as ostentatious, I could tell that they were
trying to outclass Jack and Jill, with almost suffocating formality and
propriety. Big church ceremony, lavish reception. Keep in mind
that Mike and Jack are very very close cousins and our family in
general is a) very tight-knit and b) really big
on utmost etiquette. Also, being Catholic, the ceremony is not just a
When the big day came and the huge party assembled at the
church for Mike and Mary, Jack and Jill were nowhere to be found. An hour
or so later, the ceremony over and guests departing for the reception, Jack
pulls up in his Hummer, by himself. "Sorry we missed it," he
casually explains, not even taking off his Ray-Bans. "Jill got a new dress,
and realized it was too shear, and she didn't have a white bra to wear under it.
Didn't notice it till we got out into the sun on the way to the car. She
went out to pick up a new dress. Funny, huh? We'll see you at the
I am not a big believer in etiquette, but this floored me.
Even more shocking to me was the lack of surprise displayed by my family.
Am I the only one surprised by Jack and Jill's selfishness?
I can't believe it took me so long to mail this story in to
you, Miss Jeanne! My roommate and I are both involved with a group
that writes and performs comedy. We were invited to the wedding of two
fellow group members. It was one of the loveliest weddings I've ever
attended. Unfortunately, the day was slightly marred by several other
members of the group, who imbibed like there was no tomorrow. The
B&G had pre-paid for several thousand dollars' worth of alcoholic drinks,
figuring it would be more than enough for everyone. Those pre-paid drinks
were gone before the toasts had even been said. The B&G had to pay for
more alcohol on the spot just to have champagne for the toasts!
When it was time to cut the cake, we all gathered around as
guests do. One of the other group members - "Rebecca", who was
smashed at this point - jostled me, and some of her champagne spilled on my
hand. She LICKED IT OFF before I could do anything. Thank heavens it
was just my hand! (This is not the first time she's gotten too close for
comfort while under the influence, but that's another story). About
an hour later, my roommate and I decided to make our exit. Neither of us
are comfortable around drunk people, and the group was getting bad. I
found out the next day that Rebecca's then-boyfriend, who was every bit as
soused as she was, had nearly been kicked out of the reception. Why?
Because he'd gotten on the dance floor and started GRINDING the groom's elderly
mother! It's stories like this that make me want to have an
alcohol-free reception at my future wedding!
Thank you for your web page Etiquette Hell. I have a lot
of stories about horrible guests, etc. and reading what some other people have
gone through (some of them have had it much worse, poor things!) really helps me
feel less alone and helps me laugh at certain situations rather than continue to
feel hurt and/or angry.
I had a lot of hellish wedding guests at my wedding but two
guests continue to stand out for me in particular.
My husband and I were initially married in a civil service out
of state (we eloped). But we still wanted to have a church wedding so
after the civil ceremony we planned, organized and paid for our own wedding
ourselves. It was a pretty big guest list of about 150 people but after
the RSVPs etc. it narrowed down to about 100, which was a nice size.
Everything was buffet style but it was in a very nice catering hall, the room
looked lovely, the flowers were wonderful. We also wrote and put together
our own service, which was in the congregational church we belonged to at the
Unfortunately I come from a very troubled family. My
husband and I each made up our own side of the guest list and there were some
family members I chose not to invite because of my many negative experiences
with them in childhood (many of them I had not seen for over 15 years and I was
happy about that because they were very negative people), some I did not invite
because I had not seen them for so long and would not know how to reach them
anyway. Others I knew were difficult but I felt I HAD to invite them
because it would look very bad if I didn't. One such person was my
godmother, "Anna" (name changed). "Anna" had been a
very close friend of my mother's since they were little girls and I had
basically been forced by my mother to make her my godmother for confirmation
when I was 13 years old because no one in my mother's circle of friends had ever
picked her to be the godmother of their child and my
mother thought it was only fair. I really didn't like this woman, who I
remember as being very difficult and verbally abusive to just about everyone,
but I did as my mom requested (I was only 13). After that day when she
became my godmother, I never really heard from "Anna" again -- never a
birthday card, a visit, a phone call, an Xmas gift, nothing. But I became
very close with her daughter "Linda" who was much older than me, and
although I had not seen this person in 17 years, I thought it would be nice to
at least see "Linda" again. I would sit "Anna" and
"Linda" with my mother and her close friends, since they all knew each
other, and were all used to how "Anna" was and would probably not be
bothered too much by it.
"Anna" and "Linda" received separate
invitations as they did not live together anymore ("Linda" being grown
with her own family) and the invitations stated that they could bring a guest if
they wanted. They never bothered to return the RSVP card, but when we
called them later to see if they were coming or not, they each said they'd come
and that they would not be bringing a guest. So we put them down for one
My wedding was at 10 a.m. on a very nice spring
day, the ceremony ended at about 11:30 p.m. and the reception was less than
30 minutes away, and was 4 hours long, from 12 noon to 4 p.m. The church
was packed, and as stated, there were a lot of friends of my mothers there who
knew "Anna" and "Linda" and they could have arranged a lift
or something for them if they needed one -- and neither of the women had called
to tell us they needed a lift, etc. so that perhaps we could help coordinate one
"Anna" and "Linda" did not show up for the
ceremony. OK no biggie some folks are reception people. I personally
find that rude since the ceremony is the whole reason for the celebration, but
notice a lot of people for whatever reason only go to receptions.
The reception comes and goes and "Anna" and
"Linda" do not show up. Now, it would have been rude enough if
they were no shows at the wedding but it actually is worse than that. The
two women stroll in IMMEDIATELY AFTER the reception ends. My husband and
best man were packing all our wedding gifts into the limo so that we could go
home when she arrived and most of the guests (if not all of them) were gone
already, and the catering hall was cleaning up the reception room we'd used when
lo and behold! "Anna" and "Linda" walk through the door.
I was in the front lobby of the reception hall, changing into some sneakers so
my feet would not ache on the way home, when they walked in.
"Linda" wished me well and said she was sorry they had missed it, her
mother, my godmother "Anna" said they had to take public
transportation from their home (which was far from where
the wedding was but was a commute I had taken myself -- it was a 2 hour
commute), and that they had gotten stuck on the way. After explaining the
situation, "Anna" then asked two questions -- where was the ladies
room and where was my mother? I directed her to where the ladies room was
and told her my mother was in the reception room helping pack up wedding gifts.
(In our case more people bought registry items than left envelopes -- which was
fine with us -- but it involved a lot of packing big things into cars.)
"Anna" and "Linda" go into the ladies
room. "Anna" pulls a wedding card from her purse. She
fills it out, simply to me and my husband from them (no additional words just
the hallmark poem, no congratulations, nothing else added). In filling the
card out she spells our new last name completely wrong -- it was an Irish last
name and instead of "McCarthy" (for example) she writes
"McCafferty". She must not have had her invitation (with the
correct wording of my husband's last name) with her when she filled the card out
in the ladies room, I guess! "Anna" and "Linda" then
go into the reception hall (which is being cleared, swept and vacuumed), say
hello to my mother, apologize to HER for having missed the whole thing, etc.
On the way out of the room where the reception took place, they each grab
wedding favors, and two centerpieces from two of the tables.
They also get a small plate of pasta from one of the buffet trays, which was
about to be thrown out but they intercepted the catering hall workers and
managed to get a small paper tray of food. As they leave, "Anna"
hands me the greeting card she'd signed in the ladies room, says
"congratulations" to my husband at the threshold of the reception hall
as he comes in to help me into the car, and leaves.
There was no gift, not a $5 bill in the card, nothing.
Nothing is sent to the house after the wedding via mail, etc. I have never
heard from either "Anna" or "Linda" since. The couple
of times there were family gatherings when they were invited, they have not
RSVPed or shown up.
Two years after the wedding, my mother shows up to visit us.
It is the day before our second anniversary of marriage. She tells me that
she recently was visiting an old friend and "Anna" was there at the
gathering. They gave "Anna" a lift home from the reunion and
when they did she had given my mother my wedding gift, which she will now pass
on to me. It is a set of pots and pans, in a box that apparently had been
opened and then re-filled and retaped. It is unwrapped but in a plastic
shopping bag from Sterns - a store that has not been in business for many years
in our part of the country. Mind you, I never brought up to anyone but my
mother that I had not received a gift from "Anna" or "Linda"
and then I mentioned it only because my mother asked what she'd given me in the
envelope (why, I don't know). It is not as though I was harping on it
over and over for two years or anything like that, I just chalked
it up to another flaky family acquaintance and moved on. I don't know what
compelled "Anna" to give me a gift. The impression I got though
was that this was an item she had bought or been given, did not like, tried to
return or something but couldn't and so she was regifting it or giving it to me.
I went ahead and sent a "thank you" note to
"Anna" and her daughter "Linda" for the joint wedding gift.
Even though it came two years after the wedding, I wrote the thank you as though
I'd received it same as every other gift. I never got a reply. My
husband thinks the gift was not from "Anna" at all but that my mother,
wanting to redeem her friend, threw something together, gave it to me and said
it was from her. I doubt this because my mom would have at least wrapped
it. I am not sure which is ruder -- not giving anything at all or giving
something 2 years later in a shopping bag, beat up and unwrapped?
I've gone over the invitations, the way we went about getting
RSVP confirmations, the way people were seated and treated at the wedding and
reception hall and I can't for the life of me figure where I was wrong in my own
etiquette that someone would behave this way.
I have more stories about horrid guests but I'll save them for
I had a friend in high school, I'll call her Jane, to whom I
was very close. High school close, you know? Where you think that you are going
to be bestest buddies forever and ever amen? Anyway, she was a year ahead of me
and about fifteen minutes after she graduated, she married a guy who was ten
years older than she was and basically vanished from everyone's life. This was a
VERY small town with only one high school so of course, everyone knew everyone
-- but I literally never heard from Jane again after she got married and
moved away. She was gone like she never existed. Which was okay, in retrospect,
because as I think about it now she was shrill and bossy and kind of mean. But I
The thing was, her parents still lived in that tiny
little town, and her mother happened to work with my mother at the local
hospital, and both of them had worked there since the dawn of time and they knew
each other well and often chatted. That was how I found out Jane had had a baby
girl, that was how I found out her first marriage had ended in divorce, that was
how I found out she had remarried, etc. From her mother to my mother. We had
mutual friends, too, but that comes later.
Anyway...fast forward twenty years. I was preparing to get
married myself, at the ripe old age of 38. Because I grew up in that little town
and my whole family (parents, grandparents, cousins, etc.) still lived there --
including my 100-year-old great-grandmother, who could not realistically be
expected to travel anywhere for my wedding -- I decided I wanted to get married
in that town. My fiancé (now husband) is in the Marine Corps so we lived some
miles away, but I wanted to get married in my hometown. An engagement
announcement was placed in the local paper, featuring a picture of me and my fiancé
in his Marine Corps dress blues, and my mother and I buckled down to wedding
Came the time to send out invitations, my mother called me one
night and said -- rather apologetically -- "I talked to Mary (Jane's
I said something along the lines of "Oh, that's nice.
What's up with them?"
My mother said "Mary says Jane would just LOVE an
invitation to your wedding."
Excuse me? I haven't seen or spoken to this woman in twenty
years. I don't really know where she's living, what she does, or even what she
looks like anymore. And she would LOVE an invitation to my wedding? And I said
as much to my mother, and my mother said "I know, honey, but what could it
For a couple of weeks after that, every time I talked to my
mother she would mention that she'd seen Mary and that Mary was really on her to
send Jane an invitation to my wedding. Finally, in desperation, she said
"Look, I KNOW you don't know Jane any more but if we don't send her an
invitation, Mary is never going to leave me alone!" So I said the hell with
it, give me the address, I'll send her a damn invitation. My mother got the
address, I sent the invite, and I promptly received back the RSVP card saying
Jane and her husband would LOVE to come. She capitalized it, too -- "We
would LOVE to come to your wedding!"
So the night before the wedding we were at the rehearsal,
decorating the church, etc. and another old friend of mine from high school was
there because he was going to do a reading for us. We got to talking while we
worked on the church and I mentioned the Jane story to him, because he knew Jane
and had been good friends with her first husband. "It's the funniest
thing," I said, "I don't have any idea why she wanted to come so bad
but I guess it was important to her so whatever." I was in such a bridal
fog, at that point I didn't give a rats patoot WHO came to my wedding, I just
wanted to get married. I didn't think I'd ever be getting married to anyone so
it was all fabulous to me, you know?
He said "Did she see the engagement
announcement?" I thought that was a weird question but as a
matter of fact, she had. My mother had told me that Mary said she'd sent Jane
the clipping from the newspaper with our photo. "Yeah," I said.
"She saw it. Why?"
My friend started to laugh and said "Did you know that
she and her husband are swingers?"
That thump you heard was my jaw hitting the floor. I said
"Swingers? Like...wife-swapping type swingers?"
My friend said "Yeah, but in this case I'd say she's got
more husband-swapping on her mind than wife-swapping."
Well. And WELL. My wedding day dawned bright and lovely, the
wedding came off without a hitch, people wept with happiness, it was just
beautiful, and then while everyone was collecting themselves to go to the
reception I hear this braying voice from out of the back of the church, calling
my name. I looked up and there she was, shrieking my name, running toward me
like we were long-lost sisters...except she stopped to give me a perfunctory
kiss on the cheek and then HURLED herself into the arms of my astonished husband
and squealed "Oh, I LOVE a man in a uniform!!" I wish I was making
that up, but I'm not.
She spent the balance of the reception looking at my husband
like he was on the menu, while her own husband skulked around behind her, gazing
at me with moist and beseeching eyes. I was never so unnerved by a wedding guest
in all my life. Every time I saw her, she was pawing at my husband or backing
him into a corner. I finally pulled him aside and told him what my friend had
said the night before and he about fell over. "You have GOT to be
kidding," he said. "Who tries to pick up the groom at a
wedding??" Later on he acknowledged that I was probably right. It was
fascinating, in a repulsive sort of way.
I sent her a thank-you note for her gift (a French coffee
press) and she attempted to call me several times after the wedding, but I never
returned her calls.
Is that one for the "Wedding Guests From Hell" Hall
Several years ago my brother got married. His bride, her
family and friends were from a small town with small town values. My brother and
soon to be sister in law didn't want the wedding to be held in her town. They
opted to have it held near Seattle which is where our family is from. Our mother
booked rooms for all of the out of town guests at a local motel. Fast forward to
the reception. It was an evening wedding and the reception didn't start until
8pm or so. At 9pm all the out of town guests from this small town left including
her family. We, my brother's side of the family and guests, wondered why this
was. We later found out from someone, who stayed at the same motel, that a porn
movie was being shown on the in-house cable at 9pm. Yes, all her family and
friends left the reception early to go watch porn.
I was forced to invite my sister-in-law's sister to my
wedding. (I had not planned on inviting her, but my mom invited her to my
shower, so I had no choice). Anyway, she was having her reception at the same
place as me, 7 months later. She and her parents had the nerve to sit at my
reception and make plans for her reception. They had one of the banquet managers
sitting down with them going over the different menus. I didn't see this
happening, otherwise I would have told them off. A friend of mine told me about
it after the fact. How tacky can you be?
At my wedding, we had reserved a bed and breakfast for my
family and girls, and a separate bed and breakfast for DH's family and
groomsmen. Some people paid for their own rooms, we paid for those who couldn't
afford it (which was more than half of them).
In the middle of our rehearsal dinner, DH's aunt, uncle and
two kids show up (who were uninvited) and claim that all of the places they
called were full (which was NOT true, I had talked with many places that had
many beds available). They talked my FIL into offering some beds from DH's bed
and breakfast, to which we butted in and told them that there was NO space
available. I can see how the family thought there were some beds left, but some
people weren't arriving until later that night and the entire house would be
very full for the night. They still showed up and claimed a room (forcing four
of our friends to sleep on the floor of the living room), which I didn't know
about until afterwards.
Oh, and they RSVP'd for the wedding FOUR days beforehand, and
their gift was the stupidest we received (some ceramic chef guy holding a pot
that serves absolutely no function except to take up space in our tiny kitchen).
The worst part? They never paid us or the proprietors anything
for their stay. And they are people I would consider to be upper-class
people who could afford to pay for their own room.
I've been devouring your site for days now, at home, at
work...probably in my sleep. I even submitted a small story about my brother's
wedding. Suddenly, I remembered something from MY wedding... don't know why I
didn't remember this sooner. One of my guests wore her WEDDING DRESS to my
wedding. She was a Director at the company where I was a secretary. She was
married in May and my wedding was in November. I attended her wedding, which had
a lot of silly little mishaps but over-all it was OK. She wore a full on white
frou-frou gown, veil, the works.
So, my wedding comes around, she is invited. I didn't notice
until the reception that I wasn't the only 'BRIDE' there. I was wearing an
ivory, tea-length gown for my second wedding. Suddenly, 'SHE' is next to me.
People are staring. She said, "I'm so happy I got to wear this again so
soon! I had it made into a party dress!" Now, the only thing different was
the veil was missing, and maybe the butt bow was gone. But she was much more the
white wedding bride than I was. I guess I'm sick, because I found it to be
hilarious. The thought that someone higher up in the organization than me, in
front of Vice Presidents, and co-workers, had made a total ass of herself just
cracked me up. I regret that I didn't get a picture taken with her; maybe we
should have cut the cake together. She left the wedding fairly soon, and didn't
work for the company much longer either. But, for years, not a lunch went by
without someone saying, "Remember when 'so and so' wore her wedding dress
to your wedding?"
Love this website. Me and my girlfriend check it out all the
time and pray that no one will ever do this to us at our wedding.
Well unfortunately I have a story to share. I am getting married June 2005,
since I was unemployed I handmade and mailed out all my invitations in early
February (I had an r.s.v.p. date of April). I made the awful mistake of inviting
one of my aunts and my grandma on my dad’s side. I had not heard from them so
I figured they were not attending the wedding, wasn’t a big surprise. Well I
get an email yesterday (6/2/05) two weeks before my wedding stating that my
grandma, aunt, her fiancé and three boys (who are hers through previous
marriage) would not be able to make the wedding. Imagine my surprise when she
informs me she had invited four extra people!!!!! Well I explained to her that I
was sorry she could not make it, but I would not have been able to accommodate
any of them due to the fact I had already paid the cater. She proceeds to tell
me that she ASSUMED that I forgot to include “& Guest” on her
I can’t believe she had the nerve. I was already on shaky
terms with that side of the family and have told them that I want nothing more
to do with them ever again. I can’t believe she expected me to know, after not
seeing or hearing from the woman in almost 6 years, that she had a fiancé
(previous husband died couple years ago) and that she would absolutely have to
bring her previous husbands three kids (which the youngest is 15). None of which
I even know or have spoken with at all. I can’t believe the nerve of some
I'm getting married in six weeks. I sent out the
invites about two weeks ago, and we've had a little less than half of the people
(370 invited, and that's 20 over our hall limit) respond so far. There has been
the odd guest here and there who added on a date or a few kids, but it's been
evening out so I haven't been super strict about it. At this point there have
been maybe six extra people added, so it's no big deal. The big drama started on
Sunday at my future sister-in-law's graduation party. A woman
from our church, Mrs. Gibson, (who we didn't invite) came up to us while we
were eating and said "Well, I just wanted to let you know that we didn't
get an invitation to your wedding, but we're coming anyway!" I didn't know
what to do or think, so I just kind of half-laughed, praying she was joking
around with us, and changed the subject.
Yesterday I got an rsvp from a couple we did invite, Mr. and
Mrs. Lutz, who are good friends with the Gibsons. Next to
"number attending" was a number 2 with an X through it. Next to that
was a number 5. And at the bottom of the rsvp was Mrs. Gibson along with her
husband and 3 year old daughter, who happens to be a hellspawn of the fifth
degree. I was in a total state of shock. It's bad enough to add dates and
children on rsvps when they weren't invited, but entire SEPARATE families??? Who
obviously know they weren't invited??? You don't get to add yourself to an
EXPENSIVE, SPACE-RESTRICTED event just because YOU want to go! Their sense
of entitlement is mind-boggling. We sent out formally worded,
formally addressed invitations - this isn't a casual backyard party where
it's ok to just drop in and bring your friends. Those are fun, but this
event isn't like that.
We worked very hard on our guest list - we both have large
families and my parents are divorces, so I have had to deal with their separate
friends and families, in addition to stepfamily issues. We had to make a
lot of difficult decisions, and this is just like throwing all our hard
work back in our faces, and telling us that we don't get to decide who to
invite to our own party. We aren't obligated to invite the whole world
just because they want to come. I've already decided that I'm not yielding
to this. I will not be bullied into letting them come. I refuse to reward her
rudeness with free food, drink, and entertainment, and then have to pretend I'm
glad to see them. I've looked into it, and it seems that it's perfectly within
the bounds of social etiquette to call them and let them know politely that
there isn't room for them. Whether it's his parents (they know her) or my
mom, someone is calling them to bring them back to earth. I
always thought this crap happened to other brides, but never would happen to me,
because surely people I know would never be so classless. Har-dee-har-har.
Hi Jeanne! I just discovered your site recently and have
loved reading it, particularly the wedding section. I was married about a
year ago, then participated in a close friend's wedding six months later, so I
have a few stories to share. I invited one of my
coworkers to my wedding. While this particular coworker and I weren't very
close, she was always friendly and we ate lunch together everyday. Due to
our shared lunches, she had heard a lot of my wedding plans being discussed with
other coworkers. She had also given me some wedding advice, since her own
daughter had been married about a year earlier. We work as teachers and on
our last work day before summer break (and just a few weeks before my wedding)
she approached me and asked if her daughter could attend the wedding with her
and her husband, since daughter's husband would be out of town. I was
taken aback and, not knowing a gracious way to say no, told her that her
daughter could attend. Since we were having a buffet meal, one extra
person didn't effect our food, but it did disturb our seating plans a bit.
By a bit of good luck, our original seating plan worked out perfectly so that
there would be exactly 8 people at each table. The addition of her
daughter meant I would have to put the 3 of them at an extra table. Not
wanting them to sit by themselves, I split up some other coworkers to put at
their table also.
The wedding day came and was mostly uneventful. The only
small disruption came as I was getting ready. A friend of the family who
was acting as Mistress of Ceremonies came to ask about my father-in-law's
seating assignment. He and my mother-in-law are divorced and his
relationship with my mother-in-law was violent and so my husband and I seated
him at a different table than my mother-in-law and her family. Because our
ceremony and reception were essentially in the same room, my father-in-law saw
his seating assignment before the ceremony and decided to sit in the back row
for the ceremony, claiming he did not want to sit in the front which was only
for family. Instead of letting him cause a scene, my mother-in-law's
family graciously agreed to have him join their table and my husband insisted he
join the family in the front row. With that minor hitch taken care
of, the wedding began and my husband and I were married.
After the ceremony, the guests moved into the half of the room
we'd set up for the reception and enjoyed hors d'ouerves while the photos were
taken. Once photos were complete, the wedding party was announced and my
new husband and I made our way into the reception. We had a few minutes to
spare while the food was being set out, so we mingled with our guests. I
came across the table I'd moved my coworker, her husband and daughter to, only
to find her alone, without either of them. She never gave me an excuse
about why they weren't there. At this point, the buffet was served, so my
husband and I quickly made our way through the line so the guests could get
their food. As we were finishing our meal and preparing to have
our first dance, my coworker approached and asked if she could take a plate of
food home to her husband.
I love your site!!! I am in the wedding industry myself and am
so glad to hear that I’m am not the only one annoyed by Bridezilla’s and the
lack of proper behavior so many women get the minute they get that ring on their
Anyway, my story is about some very rude guests at my own
wedding. I got married last November. We had over 250 people at a
black tie affair. The ceremony took place at a church about 20 blocks away
from the reception place. Since my wedding was in New York City and many
people don’t like driving in such a crowded city, we arranged for buses to
transport people from their hotels to the church, and from the church to the
reception, and then back to their hotels at a very large expense to us. In
addition to this there were limos for the bridal party and the immediate family.
After the ceremony and some pictures my new husband and I took our own limo to
the reception. The buses had already taken the guests to the reception so
they could start celebrating while we were briefly taking some family pictures.
It was raining lightly so we were glad everyone had a ride and we thought
everything went smoothly. As we walked into the cocktail hour we realized
that half the family and bridal party was not at the reception yet. Oh
well, maybe just traffic. They finally show up about 20 minutes later.
It turns out that one of the limos was gone by the time our families had
walked outside of the church. My husband’s 92 year old grandmother, his
parents, my father and my aunt and uncle all had to hail cabs in the rain to
find their way to the reception!!! We first thought it was the limo
company’s fault, until we found out that some of my mother’s friends bolted
out of the ceremony as it was finishing and jumped in the limo to the reception.
How rude!!! I had already set up transportation for them ride in the
luxury buses. They partied all night like it was no big deal and my mother
is too sweet to mention it to them, but I thought that was the tackiest behavior
I have seen from a guest in a long time.
One of my oldest friends was married this past May and had a
lovely, intimate wedding at the University where she and her fiancé attend
school. When my friend, Deirdre, hand-delivered her invitations to myself,
my parents, and my younger sister Barbara, I was horrified at the next words out
of my mother's mouth....
"So, can Barbara bring Ricky?"
Ricky was the guy that Barbara had been dating for less than
two months, and not seriously. Not only did my mother put Deirdre on the spot,
she did it to invite a guy that *I* didn't even know very well. Of course
Deirdre graciously said yes, and apologized as she didn't know Barbara had a
boyfriend. To make matters worse, my mother turned around and did not call to
cancel her RSVP as a medical condition came up preventing her from attending the
wedding. I had to do it the week before the wedding.
Here is where Barbara picks up where my mother left off. She
showed up to the chapel ten minutes after the ceremony ended claiming she'd been
lost. That was understandable as she was unfamiliar with the area, but that
didn't explain why she had TWO men with her. Yes, Ricky, and Ricky's friend
George whom *I* had *never* met in my life, let alone Deirdre! Due to another
guest (my fiancé) being unable to attend at the last moment, there was an
extra plate for the kid, but my God! They were even twenty minutes late
for the reception on the same campus.
Through it all, Deirdre smiled and shrugged, owing it to
Barbara's well-known social ineptitude, but I was mortified. Since my fiancé
had been unable to attend, I was relying on Barbara and Ricky to drive me home
an hour away. But ten minutes after dinner, halfway through coffee, they all
stood up and said their goodbyes, and left because George's mother had called
wanting him to come home. These people are in their twenties, not their teens.
The final kicker was when, a few hours later, the best man
approached me and wanted to know who knew "the weird girl at table
ten." Apparently, my sister had finished her salad and wanted more, but did
she steal lettuce from Ricky's plate? George's plate? No, she reached two people
over and forked salad off of the plate of a complete stranger.
I just stared at him, open-mouthed, in disbelief. Surely
not...but yes. As the evening wore on, the story popped up again and I was
gratified that everyone was good-natured over Barbara's bizarre behavior,
Well, I have to say, my story is pretty mild compared to some
of the others on the site, but I do have an obnoxious guest story....but sadly,
the guest is ME.
I was raised in an extremely poor strata of southern society
in the US in a fundamentalist Christian church and the only "proper
wedding" I had seen as a child had a preacher and some fake flowers and
crepe paper in the church basement with a buffet set up. I didn't know
"etiquette" from my own behind.
So, at 21 years old, I had left my fundamentalist roots and
lived on my own for about a year and a half in the Chicagoland area. I had my
first good job, my first apartment and my first car. I was paying my way
through evening classes at a local college and just learning about the proper
way to behave myself in the larger world.
I had made a good friend at the college and after being
pals for about a year, she invited me to her wedding. Her family was
upper-middle class and basically inhabited a world I had only begun to learn
about. I was thrilled to be invited to the occasion and happy for my friend. I
was so nervous about making a good impression...I had recently been working on
my own wardrobe, trying hard to ditch my southern accent and reading up on wine.
So as I got ready for the late spring wedding, I picked out
the nicest dress I owned. I had saved up to buy it and I looked and felt
great in it. It was a linen Christian Dior sheath dress.....and it was WHITE.
I donned the dress and headed to the wedding. I thought I
looked great - it never occurred to me that it would be rude to wear white to a
formal wedding where only the bride wore white - remember the only weddings
I had previously attended often included people in their "dress
jeans." I danced the night away and figured the odd looks I got were just
folks wondering who I was because they had all known one another for so long.
Luckily my friend (her name is Alison) and her family had too much grace to say
anything to me...they smiled and chatted with me politely throughout the
I went home without a clue that I looked completely out of
place...A few years later I had learned a lot of etiquette lessons and
understood why some older members of Alison's family thought my actions
insulting...but I never found a time that actually seemed appropriate to
apologize to Alison and maybe it's better that I just let it go.
But ten years later, I still blush every time I think
about myself dancing up a storm in the only white dress other than the bride's!
Sorry Alison!!! At least I know better now!
About 10 years ago, my mother, oldest sister, niece (sister's
daughter) and I, went to my cousin's wedding. We are from Newfoundland
Canada, and the wedding occurred in Ontario Canada. The wedding went off
with little or no trouble. My story focuses on one guest in particular.
This woman, another cousin of ours, is a wonderful woman, but sometimes I wonder
if she realized just how much trouble she caused. She has lived in the
United States for quite a few years now with her husband and two children.
Upon receiving her invitation she called to RSVP, saying that she would attend
with her husband. About a month before the wedding she called the bride to
tell her that her husband was not able to attend the wedding, as he would now be
attending a fishing trip with some friends. Ok, so the bride contacts the
caterer to inform them that there has been a change in the head count. She
is then informed that it is too late, and she now must pay for the extra plate.
Fast forward to three days (yup, that's right THREE days)
before the wedding. This cousin arrives at the airport, but she is not
alone. Her teenage son decided at the very last minute, didn't even have
time to call and let the bride or the MOB know before heading for the airport,
that he wanted to attend the wedding. Ok, that's not so bad right? I mean
now he can eat Dad's plate, right?? Well, that would have worked out only
for one fact.....the bride had informed her FMIL that she had an extra plate
that she had to pay for, and so the FMIL asked if she could include an old
friend of hers. The Bride said sure. (I know faux pas on its own,
but everyone was upfront and understanding about it) FMIL explained
things to the friend, saying "I can understand if you don't want to attend,
due to not being formally invited and all, but I would like for you to be there,
to see Groom getting married, and they were on a strict budget and all."
FMIL's friend is very understanding and said would love to go........
Ok, back to the unexpected guest in the form of the son of the
cousin. Well, now the bride has to contact the caterer once again to ask
for an additional plate (she REFUSED to tell FMIL's friend she could not
attend), but not only did she have to ask for an additional plate mere days
prior to the reception, but the son is a vegetarian!!! Now she has to pay almost
double for the plate because it will be a special plate. Ok, don't know
about the bride, but I would have screamed bloody blue murder at them for crying
out loud, especially when the son REFUSED to eat the food that was prepared for
him at the reception and then complain later that he was hungry!!!! His
mother ended up eating her food as well as his. He left the reception
early (mom had to find another guest to bring him back to the MOB's house, who
was her aunt) and when he got there he called a local pizza and had a cheese
pizza delivered!! Proceeded to make a mess everywhere, including sauce on
the beige carpet, and left the mess for the MOB to clean up the next morning.
He also refused to stay at the aunt's house without his mother (she was staying
at the bride's sister's apartment) and his mother ended up paying a taxi to
pick her up from the apartment, take her to the aunt's house to pick him up,
then take them both back to the apartment. This was a small one bedroom
apartment, with 4 women staying there, and he slept in the bed with his mother.
Did I mention that this child was a TEENAGER!!
Trust me, all true, and very scary!!
My husband was in a college friend's wedding this weekend. The
location was breathtaking, the bride unbelievably beautiful.. the wedding
ceremony? I have no clue. The person I was sitting next to chatted on her cell
phone during the entire ceremony. The Pastor asked the bride and groom why they
wanted to marry each other- the grooms response left hardly a dry eye in the
house- except for those of us in Etiquette Purgatory. Because of Chatty Cathy
beside me, I have no idea what the bride and groom said to one another. It took
every ounce of self control not to speak up and tell her to cut the chatter,
however I did NOT want the bride and groom to know of the trouble-makers and I
have a voice that tends to carry no matter how quiet I try to be.
After the ceremony, I found out, from another date sitting in
the row behind me, that my entire row of Groom's relatives talked to each
other through the entire ceremony. In what country, on what planet is talking
during a wedding acceptable- much less talking on a cell phone through the
My husband D and I got married right out of college. D's
best friend, J, was to be best man. We also invited J's mother
and father, whom I had met on one occasion, to the ceremony and reception.
One week before the wedding, J called D and sounded
terribly uncomfortable. Apparently J's parents were leaning all over him
to get his sister invited (I had never met her) and threatening not to come if
she weren't invited. I didn't know what in the world to do; I resented J's
parents messing with our guest list, but didn't want J to have his day
D and I talked it over and decided that rather than put J in
an uncomfortable position with his parents, his younger sister would be
Well, when wedding gifts were opened the next day, I
got the most surprising and touching wedding gift of all from ... J's sister!
She had carefully and with great skill decorated a large white box with
hand-painted scenes of San Francisco (our favorite city) and filled the box to
the brim with Ghirardelli chocolates. Of course the candy disappeared
quickly but the box is still a treasured family possession thirty-two years
later -- we keep our most valuable family photos in it.
Maybe I caught some good Karma on this occasion for not being
a Bridezilla. Anyway sometimes it does pay to "rise above
When my husband and I married, we invited all of our family
including aunts, uncles and cousins. The only family members we didn't invite
were cousin's children (ranging from 2-15), because in my family that's how we
do it. I sent out the invitations to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" figuring
that ONLY the people the card was addressed to would RSVP. Unfortunately that
was not the case for my hubby's family. We received many RSVP's for 4, 5 and 6
people; which meant people were planning on bringing there kids. Needless to
say, I was getting upset (don't people know invitation etiquette?) and my
husband had to call them and let them know that we won't be able to accommodate
their children. Suddenly they were upset with us because now they needed to find
a baby-sitter, we didn't like their kids, etc. Not that it mattered to any
of them that it was MY special day! When the next cousin got married, they wrote
on the bottom of the invitation "No children please" (now that's
tacky). But wouldn't you know, some still brought their children!
Love this site! Wish I found it before my wedding, because I
could have used a few laughs.
I don't know if I'd call this story a faux paus, but it is
rather weird. I had a very close friend from high school (over 10 years ago).
Over the past 2 years we grew apart. However, when I got engaged I wanted to see
if I could patch things up with her and possibly invite her to the wedding as we
had been like sisters at one point.
I sent her an email asking how she was doing. She immediately
wrote back. After a few emails back and forth, I told her that my bf and I were
engaged. You'd think a friend would say congrats and ask about the details,
however she ended up then writing me a book about how she was "unofficially
engaged" to a guy she had dated a few years. That was fine. Some women have
insecurities about marriage so I didn't take it personally. However, it got
weird when she kept going on and on about it in gross detail. She even told me
that she was really angry because her stepbrother (who was officially engaged)
"stole" her date (over two years away).
By this point I was a little leery of inviting her (I was
extra careful not to tell or imply to her that I was thinking about it), but I
was thinking maybe I was reading too much into her emails so I gave her my
number and told her I wanted to get together to hang out some time (a second
time). She never wrote me back.
5 months later... 3 weeks shy of the wedding she sends me an
email with her new address and phone number, and brags about the beautiful
country house she's moving to. I congratulate her.
She emails me back, "I have plans the weekend of your
wedding. Can you please let me know whether or not I'm invited so I know whether
or not to change them?" This threw me for a loop. At that point the guest
list had been closed and we were maxed out on the number of allowed guests. I
carefully explained this to her and apologized. I didn't hear from her after
that. If she had really expressed interest I would have tried to pull strings,
but she told me she had plans so when she didn't email me back I thought it was
because she was busy--not that she had wanted to go and took not being invited
Despite being sick, I had a lovely wedding (thank you, Robutussin!).
I sent an email thank you and update for those who sent us well wishes, but
couldn't go--including to my friend. She immediately wrote me back and told me
that I had traumatized her (her words exactly) because I hadn't invited her and
she didn't know if she could ever get over the pain I caused her. She also said
she believed we had enough room and would have "stood against a wall and
watched everyone eat at the reception" just to be there. Then she told me
that if I continued to be so awful I'd end up dying alone without any friends.
After reading my (ex) friend's email, I realized it was just
as well I didn't invite her. Needless to say, my husband was also relieved.
My biggest wedding pet peeve is when guests skip the ceremony,
yet show up at the reception. I find it rude, since the ceremony is the
most important part of a wedding.
My husband and I were married in the summer of 2004. We
were married in a church and the reception was at a hotel about an hour away.
We had a small wedding, but we did invite many people from work, including
some of the higher-ups. Many guests made reservations at the hotel.
The ceremony was beautiful. I was surprised that some of
the guests weren’t at the ceremony. When we got to the reception hall,
we saw those guests during the cocktail hour. The guests that didn’t
show at the ceremony were none other than the higher-ups, who are also tight
with each other and love to gossip about others. They decided to go up to
the hotel early so they can start drinking and hanging out. One of the
spouses of one of the higher-ups was also very demanding during the reception,
complaining about the air conditioning and the hotel room.
My husband and I didn’t let it get to us at the time, but it
upset us since we really took the time and effort into our guest list and
seating chart and made sure everyone was happy with where they were sitting to
keep the peace. We also go to their functions, so it was a slap in the
face that our ceremony wasn’t good enough for them, yet we bent over backwards
for our guests. We also went to another wedding with these people and they
made sure they were at every part of the wedding. We felt like we
weren’t good enough.
One guest I invited didn’t show at all. I found out
months later that she had a family emergency, but no one bothered to tell us.
She never apologized and never even gave us a card or congratulations! I
spend $160 on her and her husband, yet I didn’t even get a phone call! I
don’t expect a gift or money, but if I have the decency to invite you, then
you should have the decency of a phone call or a card.
It was amazing that these people missed our ceremony, but some
people that we couldn’t invite (we had to put on a cap on the guest list at
some point!) managed to come to the church and congratulate us. One of my
mother’s friends couldn’t come to the reception due to a family obligation,
but said he would come to the ceremony because that was the most important part
of a wedding. Another person we didn’t invite sent us a card and another
gave us a gift. It’s amazing that some people have class, but others,
who claim to be better than everyone, do not.
I have two stories about some uninvited guests. These really
aren’t as bad as some I’ve read, but still….
The first one is a wedding rehearsal in November of 2002. I
was a bridesmaid and good friends with both the bride and groom. About halfway
through the rehearsal this guy shows up. He is a friend of the bride and groom,
but not a great friend. He did go to the church we all attended and I believe he
graduated with the groom. We will call him “M”. Well I thought it strange
that “M” would show up at the church on a Thursday night and just sit in on
a wedding rehearsal. Surely he could have found something else to do. Anyway, we
get finished with the rehearsal and are preparing to go to dinner. I didn’t
see the exchange between “M” and the bride and groom, all I know is when we
get to the room where dinner is being served, there is “M” sitting at a
table and getting ready to serve himself at the buffet. How rude!
In this next story I was just a guest at the wedding, but I
unknowingly became a part of it. The wedding took place in December of 2003. I
knew the bride and groom of this wedding, but I did not know most of their
family. Well, my parents and I arrived at the church and went to sit on the
groom’s side since my parents knew the groom better. There were several ushers
seating on that side, one of which was in full military dress. I didn’t know
him, but I just assumed he was a member of the family, a cousin or something,
one that I did not know. Anyway, this guy, we will call him Colonel, offers me
his arm, I take it and he seats me next to my parents. I think nothing of it. In
a minute my sister-in-law, who attends the church where the wedding is being
held and also where the bride and groom attend, comes and sits next to me. She
points out Colonel to me. I say, he was the usher who sat me. She laughs and
then tells me the story. Colonel was not a family member to either the bride or
groom. He was some guy who had just started attending the church, I don’t even
think he knew the bride and groom. He showed up at the wedding in full military
dress and just started seating people. I couldn’t believe anyone would do
that. Apparently he had started showing up at anything where he could get a free
meal. I guess this time he thought he would work for his meal.
Thanks for your site, it’s AWESOME!!
I love your site and read it whenever I need a little
lighthearted humor to make it thought the day. I have two stories to share with
you. I'm not sure where they belong, but here you go.
My cousin (Mark) recently got married for the third time. He
has three sons from previous marriages. His Fiancée (Mary) has also been
married before and has two children from that union. Mark and Mary have rather
warped senses of humor and enjoy playing practical jokes on each other and
Even though they had both been previously married, they
decided to have the full Church wedding complete with Big White Dress and full
reception. It really was a beautiful ceremony and everything went well till it
was time for the bouquet toss and the garter throw.
At this point I need to back up a bit. Prior to the wedding
Mark had planned a surprise for Mary to be given to her at the reception. He
involved all the children in this surprise and thought he had kept it a big
secret. Unfortunately Mary found out and thought Mark was planning a joke for
her and proceeded to plan to "get even"
Back to the reception. Mark escorts Mary to the center of the
dance floor for the first dance. Halfway through the dance Mark drops to one
knee and looks solemnly into her eyes and says, "Mary, just to prove to you
how much I love you and our family, the kids and I got together and bought you
this." He then handed her a lovely Mothers pendant with birth stones from
all the children in it. A very touching moment.
Now it's time for the garter removal. Mary tries to excuse
herself from the dance floor for a minute but Mark will have none of it. A chair
is brought out, Mary is seated. Mark raises the hem of her beautiful dress and
rears back in shock. Strapped to her leg is the "get even" she had
planned. A very large size replica of some male anatomy.
Of course, everyone saw it and not one person found it
amusing. She was pretty much an outcast from the family for quite a while.
The second incident occurred at my own wedding. My SIL who had
eloped with her husband, by husbands brother was jealous of the wedding I was
planning. We didn't have anything elaborate, just very nice and intimate. As
both my husband and I are older, we didn't want the elaborate to do that I have
seen. My Husband had chosen his Brother(SIL's husband) for his best man, his two
sons were Ushers. My MOH was my stepdaughter. While it was kept simple I did
have the requisite "big dress". Since I was an older bride I chose to
go with an Ivory color instead of white. The SIL made many nasty comments on the
color choice right up till the day of the wedding.
Since most of the people attending would be coming out of town
we decided on an afternoon wedding, beginning at 2:00. The reception started at
3:00 and would be over by 8:00 enabling those with a long drive to get home
safely while still daylight.
The day of the wedding dawned beautifully. All arrangements
were in place and I was looking forward to having a beautiful day. The first
inkling I had of trouble was when SIL called me at 10:00 to inform me that she
had changed my hair appointment from 11:00 to 12:30 so she could join us. I
already had three people scheduled and had asked her repeatedly if she wanted to
join us and she refused each time. OK so we get our hair done, and are now
running really late. MOH and I run to my house to dress only to find all the
guests from my side at my house. SIL had told them to wait for us and follow us
to the Chapel. I freaked. Told them how to get there and to hurry. Dressed in a
major rush, now I'm panicking. We get to the Chapel with 5 minutes to spare. The
ceremony starts without a problem. About 15 minutes into it there is a commotion
at the door and in staggers SIL and her family. She is roaring drunk, and loudly
telling everyone that it is my fault that she's late since I didn't schedule
enough time at the hairdressers.
Cut to the reception: SIL proceeds to drink even more and
makes a huge spectacle of herself. Falling on the dance floor, loudly
complaining on the quality of the food. I very much wanted to have her removed
but her husband was my husbands Best Man and he couldn't leave.
We finally cut her off which caused her to raise holy heck
with the management. DH and BIL are trying to get her to sit in the car and
sleep it off, she is having none of that. At one point she flashed her breasts
at the bartender (18) to try to get another drink out of him. At that point the
police were summoned by the management. They arrested her for lewd behavior and
took her away. Of course her husband had to leave with her. That pretty much
broke up the reception.
Three years later SIL decides to "renew" her vows
with BIL. Her "wedding" was exactly like mine, same Chapel, same
Reception hall, same food, same music and worst of all, same dress. She even had
the gall to approach me the day before her "wedding" to tell me that I
had her permission to make a fool of myself to pay her back. Like I have that
little self-control. My husband had to talk long and hard to just get me to
This story may not be as bad as some of the other stories on
this site, but I consider it incredibly rude and inconsiderate.
My dad remarried in November two years ago. As it was his
second wedding, it was a simple affair, but quite large, as both my father and
'Betty', his (now) wife have large families and lots of friends. Altogether,
there were about one hundred people, a roughly even mix of dad's guests and
Now, my Uncle 'Larry' has always been really competitive with
my father. So the only reason I can think of for his behavior is that he wasn't
happy that all the attention had been on dad in the lead up to the wedding, and
then the wedding itself. Not that that's an excuse...
The reception was held in the function room of a local club,
and there were about ten tables around the room. Just after dinner is finished,
I see Uncle Larry going from table to table. Some people are laughing, some are
looking at him with disgust. My first thought was that he was asking for money
(you know how some weddings turn into fund-raisers) and I got up to put a stop
Uncle Larry was at the final table in the back corner of the
room when I got to him. This particular table was filled with Betty's work
friends. I get over there to see him handing out photos. I relax for a
micro-second... until I realize he's handing out photos of MY MUM AND DADS
He had gone around, showing every single guest, even Betty's
FAMILY! photos of my dads first wedding. He's showing them to Betty's
co-workers, laughing and saying, "Look how much weight 'Peter' (my dad) has
I was horrified, furious, aghast... I grabbed the photos off
him, apologized to Betty's friends and pulled him aside to tell him how
inappropriate it was. His response? "Hey, you gotta have fun at Peter's
weddings... they only happen once every twenty years!" This bit of humor
was a line he repeated frequently throughout the night, even during his speech!
Now, dad and Betty weren't having a honeymoon, but obviously
they wanted to be alone on their wedding night. My brother and I (who were still
living at home at the time) had arranged to go to our mothers place after the
wedding. As the night wound up and last drinks were served, Uncle Larry grabbed
the mike and said, "Everyone back to Peter's place to continue the
He wasn't joking. Apparently about twenty people ended up
going back to dads and carried on until about 3 in the morning. A few people
complained to me later that dad and Betty had been ungracious hosts because they
went to bed at about midnight. Well guys, isn't that your cue to go home?
Here's the kicker - whenever we rib Uncle Larry about dad's
wedding, he complains that WE'RE being unfair on HIM!
When I was planning my wedding to my first husband (what was I
thinking), I had a carefully planned guest list. I had not planned on
inviting a former friend (we'll call her Milenka) with whom I'd
lost touch back in Jr. high school and had only heard about through a few mutual
friends over the years. She was not someone I particularly cared for when I
was thirteen. It was an elegant sit down luncheon and the guest list was
already tight. Less than 48 hours before the wedding, I got a call from a
close friend who was invited and he told me that Milenka heard about the
wedding and she was planning on attending. He informed her it was an
invitation only thing and that we weren't close and that place cards had been
printed and that bottom line, it was tacky to come to a wedding that you were
not invited to. Big surprise, she didn't care, she showed up anyway.
Thankfully, my friends did some rearranging and made some room for
her big butt. Needless to say she didn't bring a gift but I can't say
I expected one.
Cut to four years later, I run into Milenka with my new
husband and she announces that she's getting married. We were unable to
attend her wedding (which I know we were only invited to for the gift) but we
did send her a lovely gift off of her registry. I tracked the shipping, I
know she received it. That was two years ago and I'm still waiting
for the thank you note. Here's a note to all brides to be: An
invitation does not guarantee you a gift. If you're only inviting people
to get a gift, people can tell. Save yourself the postage. It just
makes you look tacky and you might see yourself here someday!
When my ex-boyfriend told me he was engaged, I was very happy
for him. We had kept in touch since breaking up the year before. The breakup had
been my idea, not his, but we had reconciled and remained on good terms. The
woman he was engaged to was a woman we had both known in high school (we were
high school sweethearts), and she had made it abundantly clear when we were
together that she wanted him, and if we ever broke up, she was waiting.
Anyway, their engagement was exciting, and I told him so.
About two months before their wedding date, he emailed asking if my best friend
would like to attend his wedding. I told him that she probably would. The
discussion continued, and when asked if I would like to attend, I said I would.
Later, she and I both received invitations. My friend was a little leery of the
whole affair, as she had never been particularly close to my ex boyfriend, but
we both accepted and decided to attend together.
We bought them a joint gift, an expensive towel set. My friend
and I were pretty broke at the time, she newly married and me a recent graduate,
so it was a stretch to get them a gift at all. We attended the wedding, which
was very nice, and I got to reminisce friendly with my Ex's sister, who was a
good friend of mine when we were in high school. I was glad I went, and was
happy for my Ex. If I had only known.
Months pass. My best friend calls me one day with news. Her
mother and my Ex's mother were friends, and had bumped into each other recently.
Evidently my Ex's mother was very, very upset that I had attended the wedding.
She claimed that the only reason they sent me an invitation was because I had
begged for one! Knowing my Ex as I did, I knew that that was what he had told
her to placate her when she got her panties in a riffle. (She had never liked
the fact we had remained friendly after the breakup. Hell, she had never liked
how close we had been when we were together. She has serious control issues.)
Anyway, according to my best friend, my Ex's mother ended the diatribe by saying
that I had made his new bride very uncomfortable by attending her wedding. I
Let's face it, it is pretty funny. Man invites
ex-girlfriend/friend to wedding, and mother and bride sulk and whine. Like I
could somehow single-handedly destroy the day. Like my Ex would take one look at
me (on the arm of my fiancé, now husband) and walk out of the church. Gimme a
That was three years ago. Never did hear another word from
him, or get a thank you for the luscious towels. I hope they were scratchy.
Here's mine: short but sweet. Shortly after my morning wedding
ceremony a few years ago, my aunt and uncle and two kids spoke with my husband
and I during the receiving line. They commented favorably on the ceremony,
particularly its brevity. An odd thing to praise, but they are Catholic and the
ceremony was of the shorter Protestant variety. They added that the ceremony had
in fact been so short that they could drive to another state in time for an
evening wedding to which they had been invited. If they left right away they'd
make the reception though not the ceremony. I was stunned, because they had
RSVPed in the affirmative for my reception (4 paid for yet uneaten meals) and in
the negative for the Other Wedding. I have to wonder how the other bride felt
about her unexpected guests skipping her ceremony and crashing the reception!
Hi, I love this site. I would love to put my horror wedding on
your site but with family not talking to us 3 years after the event it will
outshine all other tales.
I am just wondering why people feel the need to disrespect the
bride and groom by changing from their wedding attire to casual clothes after
the ceremony. The bride and groom have requested you share in their day which
means you show them and their guests respect by being attired in the chosen
clothes till the end of the wedding function.
I feel it is very rude to put your own dress standard onto
others but if the guests, bride and groom are attired in a certain manner then
you should match or exceed the standard.
Page Last Updated May 15, 2007