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My story is a two parter, first with a friends wedding and them with my own. First, my friend " George" was getting married the woman he had been living with for several years "Martha", so they had planned a very small wedding, with perhaps a total of 40 people, some family and a few friends invited. Several nights before the wedding we had decided to take George out for a bachelor party type thing, which basically involved us going to a few of the local bars and then finishing the night at the strip club. Which we did. If we had any idea it would have caused problems we would not have done so. I can assure you that nothing inappropiate went on - we sat in perv row, but there was no contact between any of the partiers and the 'rippers. Generally we just had fun. Next day, I received a call from George at work, and he asked me " Do you remember what happened last night?" And I said sure, we had a good time. He then said " Could you never mention it again? Martha is really upset about it." I was surprised but obviously agreed. He had to call all of us who were at his party and make the same request. I'm still not sure why, exactly, but we did respect both their wishes. It never came up again, and the wedding itself was a lot of fun and we were happy to share it with them. All in all, a fairly minor blemish. You'd think I would have learned. Several years later, when I got married, my friends took me out before my wedding as well. Several of the same people were at my friends wedding were also at mine, although mine was larger, about 120 people. They also took me out to the 'rippers. My fiancee (now wife) knew I was going, and there were no problems with it, and again generally had a good time, and it would been a rather boring story. However, one of my friends ended up going back to the strip club the next night, and the next, and the next. On the morning of the wedding while we were decorating he showed up to help (which was nice of him) with one the the 'rippers. They both looked like they slept in their clothes, although they probably did not. Fortunately decorating the hall was my responsibility and not my financees'; and although she was not there, several of her friends were. I was quite embarrassed as it was obvious who this strange woman was. Finally, as a final note, he brought the stripper to the reception. Fortunately she had to leave early to go to work; my now wife was not at all comfortable with her there and neither was I. Everything else was excellent though; and apart from that one glitch, it was an event to remember. My wife - understandbly, I think - has not spoken to the friend since.      Guests0301-02

This story is of a fashion faux pas. My brother and sister-in-law got married in a very lovely wedding a couple of years ago. It was formal and elegant without being over-the-top, and the ceremony and reception all went quite well. There was only one minor incident of note. You see, everyone knows that generally, guests should not wear white to a wedding, and the dress code for this wedding was quite clear and everyone looked great. With the exeption of one woman. Apparently, she was the date of one of the other guests. Now, this woman did not wear something simple like a suit. She wore a white dress. And not a simple dress, either, but one with a huge, billowing skirt, corset style bodice, strapless etc. with half her hair dyed red in what appeared to be a bad dye job. The bride, BTW, wore a white strapless gown with bodice and full skirt. They weren't the same dress (the bride's was prettier) but, needless to say, this woman's gall at wearing what appeared to be an actual wedding gown to someone else's wedding was the talk of the reception.     Guests0320-02

I had my second wedding last year (2001) and, as I hate asking too much of people, it was small and personal and went quite well. However, there was one strange moment... As the bride I was placed at the head of the "wedding party" table, and thus I couldn't quite see what was happening at the other two tables. At one point there was an odd commotion which ended in my mother firmly escorting her own father (a man I really wish I hadn't had to invite) out of the room. She returned from the bedroom without him, so I assumed that he hadn't been feeling well and was lying down. To my shock, I was informed well afterward that the nasty old coot, having a glass or two of wine in him and finding that he wasn't the center of attention, had apparently proceeded to loudly fake having some sort of dire health problem, like a heart attack or a stroke. Yes, FAKING IT. I'm not kidding. Eeek. If I ever have a THIRD wedding, he's not invited!


Just reading about the guests from hell and wanted to contribute... My sister was married in a large, formal ceremony several years ago. In our small town it is custom to have a picture of the couple placed in the paper with the announcement of the upcoming wedding. Most people put a little line at the end of their announcement (after the time and date specifics) that says "friends & relatives are invited to attend". I suppose this would cover anyone whom you might have "missed" inviting. Well, my Sister did not want people to come who had not been specifically invited so her little tag line read "invitations will be sent". In our home town this is perfectlely normal and is a signal to the uneducated that unless you got an invitation, you are not invited. Simple. Well, just before the wedding a group of girls from our little town arrived. They all had wet hair and were wearing swimsuits under their cut-offs and tank-tops. They arrived just before the ceremony and left immediately after, without even going through the receiving line... Strange.     Guests0417-02

Hi! I don't know if this story is outrageous enough to qualify (not like the "You'd better not come!" invitation story I sent in a while ago), but I thought I'd send it in anyway. When my husband and I got married in his hometown several years ago, we had our reception at a hotel that had a marquee out front. The marquee had our names on it. At one point, I noticed an unfamiliar woman -- someone who hadn't been at the ceremony, and whom we hadn't met in the receiving line -- in the crowd talking to one of my husband's high school friends. My husband almost passed out when he saw her, and he told me that she was a high school acquaintance whom he hadn't seen in almost 15 years. "Jane" came rushing over to us and said that she had been driving by on the way home from work, recognized my husband's name on the marquee, and decided to stop in! This was awkward enough, but then my husband's brother, "Tim", came over without seeing Jane. It turns out that Jane had had a huge crush on Tim in high school and had pursued him relentlessly, despite a complete lack of interest on his part. Tim was horrified to see her, especially when she grabbed him in a big bear hug. At this point, Tim's fiancee, "Beth", joined our little gathering. Beth is really easygoing and polite, so she behaved appropriately when introduced to Jane. Jane, though, turned her back on Beth and dragged Tim off to another part of the room. Beth had heard stories about Jane before and thought the whole thing was funny, so she had a good laugh about it. Jane stayed for maybe half an hour talking to various people, and we heard later that Jane had spent a lot of that time trashing Beth and saying things like, "What's she got that I haven't got?" How about good manners, for starters!


As a bridal consultant, I cringe in horror reading some of the stories posted on your site. My clients and colleagues are also constantly topping each other with outrageous stories of wedding woes. In contrast, my story may seem rather tame, but it still irritates me that some people have such poor manners and a lack of consideration for couples on their wedding day. It also proves that even someone trained in wedding planning can fall victim to the whims of the etiquette challenged.

My husband and I were married two years ago in a ceremony that was carefully planned down to the last detail and completely financed by us. My husband's family, most of whom I had never met, were not exactly forthcoming in responding to their invitations. We had given guests a generous amount of time to respond and provided postage paid response cards for convenience, so this was not a result of poor planning.

Three days prior to the wedding, we received a last minute acceptance from one of his relatives, in the form of a frantic phone call by my husband's apologetic and worried mother. It seemed that two of my husband's relatives, who had not bothered to respond to our invitation, had spontaneously decided to attend our wedding. I took this in stride and called the caterer, who was kind enough to revise our guest count. We had offered guests three meal choices for our reception, and these latecomers chose the most expensive entree, adding a last minute expense we weren't all that happy about.

The day of the wedding arrives, and predictably, these two spontaneous guests fail to show up. No phone call or any attempt at contact was made. Just good food going to waste because of bad manners. In my family, only death or a medical emergency are legitimate reasons not to show up at a social function you promise to attend, so I was worried as well as annoyed. Despite our disappointment with the no-shows (as this was an intimate wedding, their absence was pronounced when meals were served at the reception), we had a wonderful wedding.

We didn't even receive a card or any type of congratulations from these two. What we did get was a Christmas card three months later with a barely legible half-apology scrawled on it. According to what I could decipher, their car had been in bad shape and they had decided (at the last minute, of course) not to attend. What irks me is that their car was in bad shape when they suddenly decided to attend three days before the wedding! My husband and I still joke about sending them an invoice for the two wasted dinners.      Guests0626-2

At the wedding of two friends of mine, I was actually a bit of a "guest from hell" myself. While hanging out with another friend, we were discussing the fact that we hadn't been invited to the wedding, so my friend called the couple and left a message essentially demanding invitations. The groom was very gracious to me, asking politely if I really did want to come, or if it was just a joke. I assured him that I actually did want to go, and he consented to invite me, which, having since gone through my own wedding ordeal, I appreciate so much more. The friend who left the message, however, was NOT invited, since her ex-boyfriend was going to be there, and the happy couple preferred him to her and also preferred not to host the inevitable drunken brawl which would have ensued at their wedding. At that same wedding, one of the other guests got drunk (most of us did, actually--there was an open full bar) and read a poem to the bride that strongly hinted at hidden longings for her; she took it quite well, I thought. Said guest also purloined a case of miscellaneous liquor from the bar, which, at bar prices, turned out to be very expensive, earning complaints later from the bride and groom. #2 In the process of planning my own wedding, I invited a former roommate to attend. I meant to invite his significant other, also, but I inadvertently left her name off the list my fiancee was using to compose the invitations. Upon discovering the omission, I was embarassed, but that feeling faded when we got the RSVP card back for not two but three people. I emailed the guest, asking about the additional guest and mentioning that we were encouraging people to seek baby-sitting for their small children, since the reception would run quite late (not mentioning that we also didn't want lots of rugrats running around underfoot). Said guest wrote me back, informing me that the guest in question was his S.O.'s 18-year old son and that, if I didn't want kids coming, I should have mentioned that on the invitation. He also <sarcasm> thoughtfully </sarcasm> forwarded me several links to etiquette websites backing up his right to invite an extra guest, since we had, after all, included a blank space on the invitation. He informed me that this gave him the right to invite whoever he wanted, including his entire family if he so chose. My fiancee, who initially had been much more angry than I, persuaded me not to send the bitter response that I then composed. I haven't responded at all, so we'll see whether or not he shows up and with whom. #3 My father and his wife have been having a hard financial time in the past six months, so I was disappointed but not angry when my father told me that his wife would not be able to make it to my wedding because of time and money constraints. I was willing to send them whatever money they needed, within reason, but he indicated that time was more of an issue. My fiancee was also disappointed, and she became increasingly convinced that my father was not going to come. I reassured her that he would of course be present, since he had a role in the ceremony and since I am his only child. My reassurances came to naught. My father called me a few weeks before the wedding, indicating that he couldn't come because his new job couldn't spare him for even a Sunday. As a cautionary note to those who read this, don't think for a moment that your child(ren) will forgive you for missing their first wedding. His absence has put a permanent rift between us, and he'll probably never be able to have a relationship of any sort with my wife or any children we may have.


My wedding to my now former husband went pretty well, as far as those things go, but the attitudes of my new inlaws have always stuck in my craw. After the wedding, my family said to have a great honeymoon and took off to have their own party. My new inlaws, however, said that this was now a FAMILY REUNION and dragged me and my new husband off to this very crowded restaurant where we had to wait over two hours for a table. Since I had organized most of the wedding details myself, I was understandably exhausted. My most vivid memory of that night is of sitting in the bar with a stiff drink, at about nine that night, surrounded by my new loving family, and being totally ignored by every person present! Now, I'm not normally the life of the party, but I think that on her wedding day, the bride deserves a certain amount of attention, or at least the right to be alone with her new husband. Since he didn't do anything to break us away from that, it's understandable that he's now my X-husband. To top it off, we had to go visit the inlaws again the next day before the plane left! in case you're wondering, I had not seen my family for two years by then, and always spent every holiday with the future inlaws, so they were certainly not deprived of my company. My favorite memory is the stories of the really wild party my own parents and stepparents had that night! If I had to do it again, I'd have taken a cab there alone!     Guests0227-02

One of my guests (we'll call him Bill) rang me and my parents personally straight after getting the invite to say how thrilled he was to be invited. So naturally I was a bit surprised when a few weeks later Bill informed me that he was planning on going to work on the day of our wedding, finishing by 3pm (our start time) and just coming late to our ceremony - but he had finally decided against it. >From where Bill works, it's at least 20 minutes to our ceremony venue by private car or public transport. Given we planned a short civil ceremony, he was either going to walk in very late, or miss the ceremony altogether. I've been to a lot of weddings and know that sometimes guests do arrive late due to reasons out of their control on the day, but the idea that someone would PLAN to be that late, rather than RSVPing No, or arranging to get off work earlier, absolutely floored me.     Guests0306-02

My wedding was two years ago and despite the odd bridesmaid dress snafu, went off beautifully. Some of the guests on my side are less than reliable in the time management area but none more than D a former beau of mine. When inviting him to any event it is prudent to lie about the time by at least an hour. He walked in as my husband and I were walking out of the church. Ah well, that's D I thought. Just another reminder why he and I could never have worked it out. But it gets better! When, a year earlier G, my then fiancé moved in together I gave away a lot of my house hold goods, like pots and pans to friends. D asked one of them why I was doing that since I'd just need all my stuff back when G and I broke up. Not a lot of faith on his part don't you think? Any way, at the reception I teasingly said to D that I guess I wouldn't be needing my stuff back after all then. He turned to me, tried to hug me (and by hug I mean in a sexy way) and said that he'd told one of the other guests that it hadn't mattered that he'd missed the ceremony since he'd just come to my next wedding. This while sort of stroking my back. I was, I guess I was shocked was what I was. It was like having a bad fairy curse my marriage. That, and the hug was pretty slimy. I didn't say anything to him, but the scales really fell from my eyes. What kind of freind would say something like that to a bride? Like, what? I'm going to dump G there at the reception and run away with D? Ew. And Ick. And again, Ew. So, that was the last conversation I've had with D and I don't ever plan on speaking to him again. Needless to say, my husband is right on board with this plan.     Guests0408-02


In 1996 I was invited to a wedding for a friend from elementary school. ( I was 34 and hadn't been close since 4th grade, but she had insisted on an invite to my wedding so I was obligated) She was married the weekend before valentines day and my husband was working out of state that month so I forced a friend of mine to beard me at the wedding. We go to the wedding ceremony and it is fine but there is a 2 hour delay between the wedding and the reception so my friend and I go shopping for two hours. and head for the reception.

The reception is at a nice enough restaurant, we are seated at table 10 of 10 (typically). And we are sitting with a man and his date and a single woman (attired form head to toe in red). she looks at the four of us, announces loudly "you aren't anyone... you suck" and moves to another table, already seating 8 people and glares at us. My "date" says do you realize she's wearing the same color as the brides maids. (Apparently she was miffed at being excluded from the wedding party [all members of the brides immediate family sister, niece, step-daughter]. She proceeds to get drunk and bad mouth the bride.

Meanwhile our table mate introduces himself as "beerbelly" and proceeds to ask my "date" if I am good in bed. Ken laughs and ignores him , he repeats the question until finally Ken says "I wouldn't know" which "beerbelly " takes for an affirmative and spends the rest of the time asking for my phone number.

Meanwhile two of the male guests , nattily attired in jeans and flannels go into the men's room and proceed to have a business dispute regarding their illegal "pharmaceutical" business. Which carried beautifully over the air-conditioning ducts into the reception.

Then the whole reception is treated to the preparation bridal party's dessert ( banana's foster) and then served sherbet. At that point Ken and I left, I did receive a thank you note for our gift ( a food processor).    Guests0430-02

My wedding, while not as cringeworthy and embarassing as some of the poor souls on this site, still had it's moments... I am an American living in the UK and my husband's British. My whole family with the exception of my mother was unable to make it to this wedding and I ended up having to plan/prepare and execute the whole thing on my own. I did a fair job, I must say, but irritation no.1 was that instead of the brides' dress I wanted, my mother insisted on bringing my dress over to the UK that she purchased in America (I never saw this garmet until five days before I was supposed to be wearing it.) It was horrible, unflattering and made my chest look like I had two pumpkins stuffed down it. I cringe when I look at my wedding pictures because I look like a walking wedding cake next to my skinny groom who resembles a praying mantis. Irritation no. 2 came in the form of my photographer. She was an old old friend of my husbands' from years ago who he had recently came back in touch with. Fair enough, but instead of being the "mousy, dumpy girl" he used to pal around with, she was every bit Lucy Liu in Charlie's Angles - she had on the tightest, shortest black and white stripey dress, low cut with black patent leather boots on that went up to her knees. If she hadn't been the photographer (and doing it on the cheap) I would have told her to leave. As the evening proceeded she got drunker and drunker and did a "chair dance" for everyone at the end of the evening, complete with exposing her neither-regions (that wern't clad with appropriate undergarments) Thankfully myself and my husband had left by then. Irritation no 3. was in the form of a very hot-headed European relative who got impatient that the food wasn't served to his children immediately when they all arrived. (to their credit - the kids were VERY well behaved). It ended up that the best man had to go and calm him down because he was shouting at the kitchen staff and demanding dinners for his children. And the final irritation came in the form of the best man who, reportedly, kept coming on to my mother, infront of his poor wife (the matron of honour) who sat there getting drunk with her sister. Ahh... the special memories will last a lifetime...


I was married in October of 2000. Needless to say I had a beautiful sunny day and a wonderful wedding except two incidents. One is from a guest from Hell. Prior to the ceremony there was a guest that my MIL invited. We'll call her "Terry." While we were upstairs in the church I had asked one of my bridesmaids to take the flowers downstairs and give them to the appropriate people (i.e. my brothers (who were the readers), my nephews and the groomsmen). We had all decided that the only people who would have a flower were the people in the actual wedding party. To my surprise my bridesmaid came up shortly after. As my father escorts me down the isle I notice that one of my brothers doesn't have a flower. Not really concerned at this point cause I see my husband-to-be and I quickly forget about it. Then I notice during the ceremony that neither of my nephews has flowers either. Well it doesn't matter, we were getting married and that was the least of my worries. The ceremony went without a hitch. We send off our guest to the reception at 12:15ish while we take pictures. We had decided to give our guest about a 1/2 an hour to get to the reception and enjoy some Or’ devours and an open bar until we arrived for Dinner at 1:00 (the ceremony ended at 12:00 and by the time we were congratulated it was 12:15). During the picture taking this lady "Terry" who by the way is not the photographer begins to try to "order" me around (I also notice at this time that she was wearing a flower!). I told here that she was a guest at my wedding and shouldn't be telling me what to do, but I would be more that happy to pose for a picture or two if she asked me nicely. Since we were on a time limit to get to the reception I didn't have "time" for all that she wanted to take but she was more than welcome to take the same pictures as the photographer did. Come to find out later at the reception I had asked my bridesmaid what had happened to the flowers for my brother & nephews. She proceeded to tell me that "Terry" had decided to take over, and would give the flowers to the appropriate people (which my bridesmaid TOLD her who they were going to). Well Terry decided that my brother and nephews didn't need the flowers and proceeded to give them to my grandmother-in-law, my aunt-in-law and since there was one left over she would wear the last one! (Three to be exact my brother & two nephews). How my other brother got a flower I was not sure (but I assume since he escorted my mother down the isle she thought that he was "worthy" of one). Needless to say I had never met this woman before my wedding day (nor had she ever met my family!). Needless to say she tried to take over my reception and I promptly told her that this was my day, and I was going to do it my way! If she didn't like it she was more than welcome to leave. After that she never tried to run my wedding.. Then to top it all off when we got to the reception the DJ came out and told us that he didn't have our first dance (my hubby's and mine) but I didn't fret.. one of my guest was gracious enough to go to my apartment (which was 5 minutes away) and grab a the CD that had our first dance. I have to say that I'm happy that was all that went wrong! We are still madly in love almost 2 years later and I'm happy to say that I've never "run" into Terry again.


Okay. Here goes. My wife and I planned on an elopement to the Big Sky State, Montana. We were to be married in the afternoon on the shore of Lake McDonald in West Glacier National Park by ourselves with an ordained minister and his wife, who would be videotaping our vows. On the morning of our wedding it was raining and we were heartbroken since the sun had been out the day before. Well, as we drove into the park the sun begins to creep out and we can't believe how absolutely beautiful West Glacier park is. It was idyllic and it seemed that this day would be perfect. We walked out to the shore and started our ceremony. What a gorgeous bride my wife looked! The sun! The fresh clean mountain air! As we began our vows I noticed that a couple of people are walking towards our ceremony. "No problem", I'm thinking, they will probably watch us exchange our vows and probably congratulate us. Well, I guess the park was too quiet for these lugs and big deal that two people look like they are doing something beautiful. Their agenda called for picking up rocks and throwing them in the water. Now these aren't skipping rocks; they're small bombs that make a loud "Kerplunk!" followed by a dousing splash. Even still, I know that my wife and I will be together but they decide to follow it with another aquatic explosion. Every time my wife and I watch our wedding video our vows are muffled by these rock throwing nit wits. I was so POed at that time that I wished I had asked the minister to stop so that I could exact my revenge. My hope is that karma came back to bite them in the butt! Some people! Thanks for letting me get this off my chest! Signed "Rocked and Rolled" .    guests0415-02

Compared to most of the stories I've read here, my wedding was rather 'uneventful'. However, I would like to relate a couple of incidents from my reception that left me a little surprised at the behaviour of some people whom I considered friends.

We had a lovely August wedding, it was unusually warm and humid. Our reception hall had air conditioning, however no one seemed to know how to work it. During the night, one of our guests noticed an itchy red rash on her forearm. In a short time this rash had spread and become much worse, she and her husband had become concerned about this and thought it best to leave and see a doctor. That was fine, my new husband I understood and hoped that it was nothing serious. Unfortunately another guest had over-heard our conversation, and proceeded to 'examine' this rash. He is not in any way, shape or form medically trained, but that did not prevent him from exclaiming to all and sundry that this woman had the Meningococcal virus. (This virus can be fatal. It was a big news item at the time because it had claimed the lives of a number of people.) He then went on trying to incite panic in all of our guests, claiming that we could all die from this and had to leave immediately. He gathered up his rather bewildered and embarrassed wife and children and promptly left! I am happy to say that the other guests didn't take his 'medical' opinion seriously and continued enjoying themselves.

The second incident was when I overheard two of my other guests complaining about the music being played and how they should leave and go to a night club. My husband and I tried to cater to the musical tastes of people whose ages ranged from 16 to 65. We knew we couldn't please everybody, but we tried to have a broad selection that would include something for everyone from ABBA and David Bowie to Matchbox 20 and U2. We wanted people to enjoy our wedding. One of the girls who was complaining had gotten married the year before, she had only dance and techno music at her wedding, which is fine, after all, it was her wedding. It isn't the music that my husband or I prefer but we didn't even think of leaving and going to a club simply because of that. I thought it was really sad that these 'friends' would consider leaving my wedding early simply because of the music. Although just about everyone else commented on the great variety that we had, and how pleased they were to find something they liked!

Guests 1115-02

I had a large and beautiful wedding when I was twenty-one, and despite being so young, I expected my friends to have even the smallest notion of etiquette. Many of my friends had come home from college to attend my wedding and stayed with their parents locally. The rest of them, and all my husband's (older) friends, lived no more than forty-five minutes away. It was a Sunday with almost no traffic. My bridal party and I had given directions to the site many, many times. There was valet parking. The service started half an hour late, anyway. Despite all this, exactly THREE of our forty-odd friends made it to the ceremony. Since I could only really see the front half of the groom's side of the aisle, I didn't really think it was that odd that the only young faces I saw were on his cousin and her boyfriend (sleeping, by the way; an image that will be burned in my brain forever). I figured they must all be on my side or farther back. When we started the reception line, though, we greeted wave after wave of our parent's friends and relative before our friends showed up, many still wearing their coats. The girls were all terribly apologetic, and I suspect many of them had had to bodily remove their boyfriends from the video game consoles. I think it's no coincidence that the three people who made it on time were also the only three single girls there. The guys were mostly brazen, though. I actually had my bridesmaid's boyfriend pull me aside during cocktails and ask me not to let her know he'd just shown up. I love all my friends, but I wish they'd grow up a little. When I was eight, my mother dragged me to a friend's wedding half an hour early. As we were sitting in the church, watching it fill up, I asked her why we had rushed. She said, "It's better to be half an hour early to a wedding than even one minute late." I wish I had impressed that bit of wisdom on our friends.

Guests 1111-02

My father decided to remarry after my mother had passed away. My younger sister, Carrie, lived with him at the time and my older sister, Vanessa, lived in a nearby town. I lived in upstate-New York, approximately 1300 miles away.

When I arrived for the wedding with my two children, boy age 12 and girl age 7, we met my soon-to-be stepmother. She is a lovely lady who suited my father to a tee.

For some reason, my sister Vanessa had taken an instant dislike to the bride. My children loved her immediately and asked if they could call her Grandma Katie (my mother was Grammy, so there was no conflict). Grandma Katie is a member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church, so she and her family do not drink alcohol or eat meat. Carrie and I spent a great deal of time preparing food for the wedding which would take place in my father's home. We cleaned and decorated, cooked and made punch, and generally had a great time doing "sister" stuff and wondering where Vanessa was during all this. We even went to the trouble of finding and purchasing a sparkling fruit juice (nonalcoholic) so that we could offer a toast to the bride and groom.

Well, Vanessa did not show up to the wedding until after the ceremony had already taken place. She arrived with her current "boyfriend" and an old high school friend and her husband who were all drunk, except for the friend's husband. Finding that there was food but "nothing to drink", they promptly went to the store and changed that. Vanessa decided to play the hostess with the mostest and stumbled around the house with a bottle of wine offering drinks to whoever was there. No one was safe. She even offered a drink to my son.

I took her aside and told her that we were respecting the Adventist guests and not offering alcoholic beverages to the wedding guests, to which she replied: "Well I thought you wanted my help! Here I am trying to be a good hostess and you're making a big deal about it."

Needless to say, the beverages (beer and wine) were transferred to the back patio where those who wished to could participate. I can tell you that Carrie and I laughed about this later. But it is sad to think that to some people, there cannot be a party unless everyone is drunk.

Guests 1108-02

During my wedding planning I was desperately attempting not to breach etiquette although honesty, I found it difficult not to in one respect ­ children at the wedding. Our wedding was on a late Saturday evening. The reception, which immediately followed, took place at a very elegant formal restaurant. There were very few small children in both families, so we decided not to include them in our guest list, and allow our single guests to bring dates. We decided to breach etiquette and put Adult Reception on the reception card. I discussed this matter with my mother and my fiancé’s mother. Both were supportive of the breach ­ although both felt small children should not be attending weddings in the first place.

Fast forward to calling slackers who didn’t RSVP - I called my fiancé’s Uncle to see if he and his wife planned on attending the wedding. This Uncle is the black sheep in the family. He is known for attempting to con family members out of money for his latest "project". He also left his first wife to run off with the baby sitter, whom he married. My fiancé and I have been dating since High School ­ nine years later when we decided to get married, I still haven’t met this man. He was invited because he was family, and because my fiancé’s family was attempting to resolve the past with him. This is our conversation:

ME - "We were wondering if you and your wife will be able to attend the wedding."

HIM ­ "Oh, haven’t you heard, we are the people who show up unannounced with our 15 kids."

Silence from me because yes, this is exactly what I have heard.

ME ­ "Oh dear. Well will YOU and YOUR WIFE be able to attend?"

HIM ­ "Yes we will be attending. My daughter will be in town that weekend. She wants to see the family so I told her it was okay. I guess I will be bringing a date. "

I have never met his children; I have no idea who this person is. I find out from my fiancé that this daughter is our age. He was very pleased to find out she will be in town and had no problem allowing her to attend. My fiancé calls his Uncle to extend the invitation. The Uncle is pleased and wanted to know if they could bring his daughter’s baby that she had the other day! This newborn will be 2 weeks old! My fiancé said no, and explained that this was not an appropriate evening for a newborn. Now we are worried that he will disrespect our wishes.

Fast forward to 10 minutes before the ceremony: I find out there is a newborn baby in the church. I was livid! After some investigation, it was discovered the baby was another cousin’s baby. I have to say it took every ounce of self-control not to march up there in my wedding dress and demand that these people leave. Good thing you exercised some control otherwise your bridal fanny would be parked right here in Etiquette Hell. I calmed down because this cousin although did not have the respect to not bring the child, did have the respect to leave if the child began to cry. She is also notorious for having quiet children. Regardless, it was very rude. The baby was not at the reception, but the parents were. I don’t get why they would bring the baby to the ceremony, drop the child off and come to the reception. My husband pointed out we did say Adult Reception…. very funny. 

Now we are sitting down at the head table eating: I see the Black Sheep Uncle did not bring his wife (I wasn’t told this), did bring his daughter and moved their place cards to another table to sit with his sister who flew into town from California. I am sure you are asking ­ why wouldn’t you sit them together in the first place? Because the Uncle decided to invite his daughter, there was no room at that table for the three of them (including his wife). I decided to sit my Aunt and Uncle at that table because one of my fiancé’s Aunts is a Native American. So is my Aunt, and they are in fact from the same tribe. Moving his seat was especially bad because my father was not on speaking terms with this Aunt and Uncle. It appeared as though we tossed them into a corner with little thought as to where they were to sit. When my husband and I went around to mingle, I verbally apologize to them for the mix-up (I did not go into details as to who caused this mix-up), and explained where I had planned to seat them and why. They seemed to accept the apology. I reiterated my apology and thanked them for their understanding in their Thank You note after the wedding.

My wedding was very beautiful. Everyone had a great time. His actions are small compared to the wonderful day we had. To be honest I was nervous about inviting this man. I believe the only reason why he came was to appease his sister (a lovely woman) and nephew who flew in for us from California. Word of advice ­ don’t breach etiquette or karma will get you! Or ­ if you are second guessing someone who is notorious for causing problems, their polite invite is not worth the stress they will probably cause you!      Guests 1106-02

I love the website - I hadn't realised until now that people other than myself had a horror story that actually made them cringe to recall it. My story's twofold - a bad guest and a very bad photographer. But first, a little background. My husband and I were engaged when I was eighteen, and while we lived together for the next three years, we decided we wouldn't get married until we were a little older. But after I graduated University, we discovered that I was pregnant with twins. Not quite the graduation gift I'd been expecting, but they were very welcome, and I called my mother, explaining that while Sean and I were quite happy to get married - we'd rather do it before the children were born, but that we wanted it to be very very small and intimate. My mother, being the wonderful organised person that she is, got a wedding together in under two months. She worked like lightning, and since she and my father were paying for the bulk of things, she called in favours from friends of ours - the Rolls Royce's were loaned and driven by close family friends. The flowers were all done by our next door neighbour, a florist who gave as her wedding gift, and my step father and his band provided the entertainment at the reception. My parents in law were also keen to be involved, but since they lived at the other end of the country, (a good 300 miles away) they asked if they could pay for the photographer. As my father had a friend in the business, he was asked to come and given a very generous price by my father in law. No expense was to be spared there, my FIL explained, as it was their contribution to the wedding, (the other being the cost of getting my husband's family up here and the hotel rooms they stayed in). My brother in law - the GFH - is actually a nice guy. He's laid back, funny and has disaster stories from all over the world. Little did I know he'd be attempting to add our wedding to his list. My husband asked him to be his Best Man, and he readily agreed, asking if he could bring a date to our wedding. We said yes, and while we didn't know her, (and there were only 24 people at the wedding itself and the private dinner after) we were happy for her to come. He told us she would have the vegetarian option and we made the arrangements. Our problems began the night before our wedding. My husband had already had his stag night the weekend before, (a whole horror story of his own as several people tried to persuade him he was too young to be tied down) and I'd had my hen night a few days previously. So all the guests we'd invited came out for a party and fun was had by all. The only conspicuous absences were my BIL and his date. But we were assured by phone that they would be there the following day. As it happened, the BIL showed up that evening and went to the hotel, seducing my friend in less than half an hour and keeping the entire groom's side of the family awake all night with their 'celebrations'. The following morning, she had a bright red face from his unshaved cheek and everyone was tired. He gave no explanation to anyone why he'd arrived dateless, (I later discovered that he didn't feel like bringing her along in case he 'got lucky') and he neither had razor blades, or felt the urge to wash his hair. He also had not brought along Black shoes to match the dress suit we'd hired for him. What kind of dress suit would match with brown boots? Well apparently HIS. he didn't shave, either, despite there being shops nearby the hotel, because he'd woken so late that there wasn't time. Meanwhile I was having a good day - not entirely wonderful, because the hairdressers were also favour called, and since they knew my mother and not me, spent almost all their time pampering her in the salon. My sister, who was my bridesmaid, actually had to get up and insist that they did MY hair, since I was the bride, and trying out several more hairstyles on my mother, (who had been in with us the week before and tried out the style she wanted) was wasting precious time. But my dress was lovely, my sister looked beautiful and we were all ready on time to go to the elegant manor house my mother had hired for the wedding. The photographer was very attentive, taking endless amounts of shots and delaying us - he'd arrived late. And when we got to the wedding - he hadn't taken any of the groom's family. He made me stop in the car for twenty minutes so he could dash ahead and take some, but by then, he'd taken so many of me AT HOME, (where I wasn't particularly concerned) that he only had one roll of colour for the wedding. So all the pictures of my husband's family are in sepia, and don't look particularly well in the album. He was booked two months in advance at the start of this wedding, and gave us no discount at all - so to this day I do not know why he gave us second rate service - my father no longer talks to him. Anyway, the wedding itself was lovely and when we were announced as 'husband and wife', the small congregation cheered. Everyone was in a good mood, and while I'd only just discovered that my BIL had no date, we were unable to ask anyone else to enjoy it because it was the vegetarian meal he'd specifically asked for. The speeches went well until it was his turn and while my BIL's speech started off well...I had no idea how awful it could be. Please bare in mind that this was our wedding dinner he did this at, in front of my grandparents and my godmother - a tee totalling Justice of the Peace. Once his traditional jokey speech was done , my BIL put a bag on the table. And started working his way through a collection of sex toys, all wrapped in suspiciously wet paper. Now, I like a joke, but this was entirely inappropriate. I didn't want to ruin my wedding by bursting into tears, so I went along with it, the rest of the guests laughing at first and then tailing off as it became decidedly unfunny. He started with joke condoms, moved to pop up penises and as a finale gave me a wrapped vibrator which squirted water - the wetness had come because he had filled it the night before to show my friend. You can imagine how pleased I was at that. After the meal, which was somewhat subdued after his performance, we retired to the drawing room to open the gifts while everyone was there - some people were unable to stay for the night. All were appreciated, except my BIL's. You recall I said we were expecting twins? His gift was a four foot high candle, on a plinth, something he expected to see every time he visited us. My twins DID have an interesting way of learning to stand and walk - it's not everyone who can make their imprints in wax as a first toy. Anyway, there is a happy ending - eight years on, my husband and I are still happy, the children are fine and the candle is still with us, albeit somewhat misshapen now. My BIL gets married next year and I'm so looking forward to making my own box of delights for my husband's role as best man.

Guests 1028-02

Hi Jeanne, I've enjoyed reading these stories, and I'd like to tell mine. I haven't spoken about it because it caused so much embarrassment. For years whenever someone mentioned my wedding, the following story was brought up. This is about the only thing people remember about my wedding.

I had the traditional wedding reception planned. Long white gown, tuxes. 3 pc. band, the lavish, expensive hall. Great food, open bar...etc. My parents willingly paid for everything. The grooms parents paid nothing. I even had a wedding coordinator at the wedding reception. It was her job to make sure that every thing went smoothly The reception was going well until
my husbands sister over heard that 2 of my relatives weren't coming because of car trouble. So, she took it upon herself to invite 2 of her "friends".

Anyway, all I know is that suddenly the wedding coordinator came up to me and said that she believed I had 2 uninvited guests at the party. I asked her to point out who they were but I really didn't need her to.

On the dance floor were 2 women. One looked like she worked as a prostitute. She had thigh high black patent leather boots on, and a shocking pink mini skirt. The other woman was dressed in a mans suit with a short mannish haircut. . They were kissing passionately, and groping each other while dancing. I was so shocked by their outlandish attire and by their disgusting behaviour that I got up and knocked over a whole bottle of champagne, on my dress. I was soaking wet, my dress dripping with champagne. The other guests noticed the amorous couple on the dance floor and that was all they could talk about. The lovers seemed oblivious to what was going on. I looked for my new husband to tell him to please deal with this mess, as it was his family, and he was on stage playing the drums with the band. Playing badly unfortunately.

The wedding coordinator approached the uninvitees on the dance floor, and quietly asked to speak to them outside.. They did'nt want to go., complaining loudly that they were invited. My new sister in law stood up and said even more loudly that if they went, she would go also, and take my sweet mother in law with her. Wishing to avoid a scene and not wishing to offend anyone., I let everyone stay.
,I've kicked myself repeatedly over the years for being so "nice".

Needless to say, hubby and I got divorced a few years later. It seems the apple does't fall from the tree.

Oh, by the way..not that I wanted a gift but, .my sister in law gave me a $6.00 plastic kitchen clock from wal marts with the price still on it. She also ripped open the card and included the names of her two friends.     Guests 1026-02

On the day of my sister-in-law's wedding, we girls had appointments to get our hair done. There were six of us: bride, mother-of-the-bride, mother-of-the-groom, maid of honor, the bride's father's girlfriend and myself. When we arrived, the two stylists were working with a customer and another bride so we had to wait our turn. When they were finished, and we were already running late, who else but the bride's father's girlfriend jumped up to get her hair done first. This left the MOB, MOG, MOH (bride's sister) and the BRIDE waiting to get their hair done until the next stylist was ready. I thought this was so rude! Love the site. Quite funny!

Guests 1025-02

Being a wedding videographer, one would think I have seen it all... But what happened at the very first wedding I ever recorded was doubly scary, not only because it was potentially a major wedding disaster, but also because it happened to someone in my own family! My cousin John and his fiance Carol had a lovely wedding and reception, after which the bride's parents invited all guests back to their home on Chesapeake Bay. The sun was setting over the water, there was a huge yard for everyone to enjoy, and it was a balmy 76 degrees with a slight comfortable breeze off the water. At one point, someone jokingly grabbed hold of my sister and pretended they were going to throw her into the pool. Everyone had a good laugh, and nobody got a drop of water on them... But apparently, the bride's cousin (seen, I am told, once in the proverbial blue moon) thought that someone should get wet. So what did he do? Grab the bride and carry her to the edge of the pool. And teetering on the edge of a good drenching, while 50 guests all either laughed or stood frozen with panic, he asked the groom if he should do it... The groom, not realizing how serious this character was, replied, "Go for it!" And in they went... The laughing immediately stopped, and everyone stood aghast as the bride came to the surface sputtering water - her lovely wedding gown now a chlorine- soaked mess... And she was LAUGHING. This girl had class! She could have been devastated by this, and she was grown up enough to think it was hysterical. I really admire her for that. Of course, that meant that the groom had to get wet too, and sure enough, someone grabbed him and tossed HIM in... And to this day, it is their favorite part of the wedding video.       Guests 1017-02

Because of the size of our families, my hubby and I decided to keep our wedding guest list to only family and close friends. This still added up to quite a large number, over 200. One of my husband’s best friends from high school was invited and much to my husband’s dismay, we didn’t get a reply to our invitation.

On the day of our wedding, the friend, who I will call Ron, showed up just as the ceremony was ending and proceeded to the reception hall with the rest of the guests. He also brought along a date. Oh well, it was only two extra people, although I was a little irritated that he didn’t inform us that he would be attending, let alone bringing an uninvited guest. The guest made quite an impression on the rest of the guests. Although it wasn’t a formal wedding, what this girl was wearing would look out of place anywhere but a strip club. She had on tight, very low cut black pants, a black sequined bra top with a purple shirt over it, unbuttoned and tied up and a silver chain belt. Cute.

The food was finger foods served by waiters circulating throughout the room. Ron and his date sat just outside the kitchen doors so that they could fill their plates with the food before it was passed around.

Just as the evening was ending and my husband and I were saying our goodbyes to the guests, Ron took my hubby aside and tried to talk him into going to a strip club with him. On our wedding night? Needless to say, Ron is not on our Christmas card list.

Guests 1009-02

My husband and I successfully worked so hard to plan for and pay for a beautiful wedding and the best time at a wedding and reception that guests have ever had. This note is for the guests who rudely begged for invitations; this is for the same ones who did not return the pre-stamped RSVP cards; this is for the same ones for whom we paid with our hard-earned money and for whom I sold my wonderful car to feed a lavish buffet, gourmet coffee, and an open bar; this is for those same ones who eagerly assured us via telephone and e-mail within two weeks of the wedding date that they would be there: You missed the fabulous day we worked to share with you and I hope to see you in Etiquette Hell.      Guests 1009-02

I have got a story about a guest from hell-me!! actually it was myself and two other similar guests from hell. About seven years ago, a friend of mine, "Matthew", was invited to the wedding of a person who was just a casual aquaintance to him. Apparently the gal was the type to invite everyone she knew regardless of how well, which kind of explains ho she got the trio of rude guests in us. A day before the wedding, he called and invited me to be his guest, then mentioned that he was also bringing as his guest another friend of his, "Jane". I told him it was considered rude to bring more than one person, but he told me it didn't matter. Not only that, but because his attendance was kind of a last minute decision matter, he didn't bother to RSVP. He assured me again that three extra guests wouldn't matter. And the final seal-of-rudeness factor-none of us brought a gift. This was especially bad on Matthew's part as he was the one who knew her and was invited. So the three of us attend this wedding of a gal we hardly (and in the case of Jane and myself not) know at all. Basically, the only reason the three of us went was to get some good grub and drink. Pretty dispicable, huh?? I remember the mother of the bride coming over to our table and doing the usual meet-and-greet thing and she must of been wondering to herself "Who the hell are these people and where did they come from?" This was my low in etiquette, and I am happy to say that, after seven years and much more maturity (I was only about 22 then), I now know the meaning of good etiquette and would never, ever do such a thing again.         Guests 9024-02

My story is about a Guest From Hell who actually did not show up to be a guest. I had known this "friend" and her husband since high school, and I had gone to their wedding and given them a nice wedding gift years before. I invited her to my wedding, and she RSVP'd that she and her husband would both attend. They never showed up, which as anyone who is a bride knows, meant that we paid extra money for two people who did not go to our wedding. I was puzzled, and when a few weeks went by without so much as a telephone call or a note from her, I got worried and called her. She sounded fine, but I asked her if everything was okay. She said everything was fine, so I explained that I was concerned because she was a no-show at my wedding and I hadn't heard from her. She said, "Oh, I couldn't go, I had to work," in the kind of casual tone that one uses to say, "Yeah, I couldn't go to the game, I had to work." No apology, either. And, guess what? It's 6 years later and still no gift. I find her rudeness and apathy doubly insulting since she was a bride and therefore would have known about the costs of planning a wedding for a certain number of guests! She hasn't heard from me since.

Guests 0916-02

Etiquette Hell AntiBurn Prevention Tip:  No-show guests don't owe you a wedding gift.

My husband and I got married a few months ago and dealt with all the usual stress and family drama while planning the wedding. My mother insisted that we invite my brother, with whom I have never been very close. In fact, I had never even had a real conversation with him uless you count swearing and slamming doors. He is ten years older than me, and lived at home until his 30's. (My parents had me later.) He has made it a point that he hates that I was born and that I should have been a boy, etc. etc. (He still acts this way even though I am 27 and he is nearing forty.) Whenever I do see my brother at family events, he usually scowls at me and makes some rude comment. My mother, however, thinks that my brother can do no wrong. She has never defended me from his bad treatment and tells me that I'm being a rotten person when I complain about him. Anway, after long deliberations we decided that-- in the name of forgiveness and "being the bigger person," we would invite my brother to the wedding. We assumed that because there would be about 100 people there, we wouldn't even notice him. Fast forward to the church ceremony (which was in every other way lovely). My brother was seated in one of the front pews (because he is technically "family.")

He sat there with a scowl on his face the whole time, which upset me terribly. When the reverend asked the questions to the effect of, "Does everyone here promise to help the bride and groom lovingly uphold their marriage?" to which the crowd was supposed to answer, "We will," my brother refused to answer. Later on in the receiving line I tried to be "the bigger person" again and held out my arms to hug him. He responded by lurching back and making an expression like he thought that hugging me would be equivalent to touching a pile of dog feces. He scowled at me and didn't even say, "Congratulations." He then turned to my husband and, in the rudest and nastiest way, went, "She's yours, NOW YOU'RE STUCK WITH HER!!!!"

Spit was flying from his mouth. I was a wreck in the limo ride to the reception. At the reception hall, my brother then made some snide comment as I was walking in. I tried to walk away. I then turned around and went back to him to give him a warning-- because I was afraid that he would pick a fight or say something insulting to one of my guests. I simply said, "Be good. Don't say or do anything to offend anyone." I then walked away. For the rest of the night, he scowled at me every time I walked by. After the wedding, my mother got angry with me and started complaining about how I was so rude to my brother.      Guests 0904-02

I attended W's wedding which was nice, but not lavish. The bride and groom paid for it themselves, but cut corners as they had just bought a house. I was seated at a table with a few of my ex-housemates. They spent the whole dinner ripping apart every detail: "Pasta? How cheap!" "Oh, she got the budget flowers instead of roses!" "That cake is sooooo last year!" "What happened to her mother? I don't see her mother at the head table!" (Dead!) They compared W's to their own imaginary weddings which were going to be princess-perfect, high class, and drop-dead fashionable. HA! All of these women lived paycheck to paycheck, none of them had rich parents, and none of them had ever been able to keep a boyfriend more than two months. It took all of my patience to not say, "A fifty thousand dollar wedding won't buy you any class if you don't get some manners first!" I really, really, really hope that W didn't hear any of their comments.       Guests 0820-02

While arriving at a co-worker's wedding, with my now-husband, "Archie," I ran into several other co-workers. They all looked stunned, as if they hadn't expected to see me there. While I didn't see any of them outside of work, we were all friendly with the co-worker who was getting married. His friendship was the only thing upon which we agreed. There were several awkward moments while we waited to be seated, but nothing that I wasn't used to every day at work.

As it so happened the leader of the group of co-workers, "Kevin" was also an usher at the wedding. He was responsible for most of the nasty talk about me behind my back; he made it quiet clear that my presence at work was most unwelcome. I was on Archie's arm, when the Kevin reached out toward me. Thinking he was going to grab me, or something unpleasant, I clutched Archie in reflex. I'm sure this put him off even further, but I honestly didn't mean to insult him. I simply had not expected someone who so clearly hated me to try to touch me, and was more startled than anything else. He took my arm away from Archie, in order to escort me to our seats. As he did, he whispered in my ear that he was supposed to spread out the guests, so all the co-worker's wouldn't be together. Fine, whatever, I didn't care where we sat. However, as the bride entered, I turned around to see all other co-workers sitting in the same row, several rows back, with no other guests behind us, just empty pews. He had isolated us from not just the co-workers, but ALL the wedding guests. I just beamed at the bride, looking at her as if she were the most beautiful bride ever. The wedding then went just fine, except for the officient. It was my first experience inside a Catholic church, and not being a Christian, very confusing for me. Somehow, the officient picked up on my awkwardness, and would turn and look at me every time he signed the cross. I tried not to squirm, but I was getting very embarrassed about this, as well as not knowing what to do or say. By the end of it, my face was scorching, and I'm sure crimson. As we exited, I made a hasty retreat to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face.

We then made our way out, not chatting with anyone, but to the car and on to the reception, 45 minutes away. It was difficult to find, dark and raining. We were one of the last couples to arrive, and missed the receiving line. The reception was just fine, otherwise, until after the cake cutting. Apparently, because we were so late, the co-workers didn't think we were coming. As we entered the small room where they were sitting, they refused to acknowledge my presence, but with eyes as large as saucers, looking at the floor. I said hello, waved, but nothing in return. I was a bit embarrassed, so I turned my head and walked to another side of the room. After I did, they all said, "Hey, Archie, Hi Archie," and so on. Archie pulled at the back of my dress, to signal me back downstairs. I just kept walking, making a circle to get out. As I walked down, I heard a cackle coming from Archie. I didn't say a word, other than good-bye to our hosts. Once we were back in the car, Archie said they were pointing, smirking and mocking me once my back was turned, behavior suited more to young teenagers, not the thirty-something adults they were. Once he saw that, he wanted to get me out of there instantly. When they continued, he broke out laughing, in disbelief, as well as disgust. What could I have done to inspire such venom? I was polite to customers, and didn't join them in mocking them after they left the store.

Guests 0731-02

Overall, my wedding went well but the RECEPTION!!!

We got to the reception hall and learned that a firetruck had just left because some kids had set fire to some bushes outside of the location.


We'd had a specific bouquet made for me to throw and I'd hidden it up with the DJ and when I got it... I threw it and (unfortunately) it hit the ceiling and partly fell apart and I later learned that one of the girls in my wedding party had hidden HER bouquet up there and it was that one that I had partially destroyed during the bouquet toss.

It was OK, everyone was amused.

THEN... a member of my family from an older generation was rather smashed and was outside having a smoke and began to comment on some random kids playing around the building. However, one of the children was not caucasian and the aforementioned family member began liberally using the "N" word. When a friend tried to draw attention to the fact that the behaviour/language was inappropriate... it incensed my family member who then got louder and used the word even more.

Unfortunately, my sister (who was pissed because she wasn't in my wedding party... I had men stand up for me and women for my hubby) decided it was important to tell me that was happening during the reception.

I didn't think I needed to know that then because it spoiled things for me for the rest of the night at the reception hall.      Guests 0813-02

A few years ago I attended the wedding of a former supervisor. She and I had become close, and frequently went out on the town together. When she got married, she invited many of the people we had become friendly with at our favorite pub. The wedding was beautiful, but it was at the reception where the guests from hell put in their appearance. I was standing on the patio with a group of friends chatting and was casually surveying the room when I noticed a delivery person for a prominent shipping company was in the main reception room. Given that we were in a popular restaurant, I shrugged it aside and thought maybe there was some sort of special delivery. Then I noticed the same woman roughly half an hour later, still in uniform, hanging on a VERY drunken guest. The guest was staggering about the reception, talking to everyone and introducing the delivery woman, managing to liberally spray everyone with spit as he speaks. A few minutes later a crying man (we will call him Doug) runs from the room in a bit of scene. About fifteen minutes later, another friend who has gone out to comfort the distressed man comes in to tell us what happened. As it turns out, Doug's father had also been invited to the wedding, and this father was the staggering, slobbering drunkard. It was not his father's condition which upset Doug though. It turns out the delivery woman was his father's new mistress! His parents were still together, but his mother was not able to be at the wedding. I guess the father decided this would be a good time to invite his mistress to crash the party, and she has shown up right after her delivery route without changing or showering. I still don't know if the bride and groom were ever aware of what happened, but all the guests were horrified at the father's gall, and poor Doug had to experience watching his father show off the mistress.


Krystal had been a friend of my mother's for years although they only saw each other once every few months. When she heard I was engaged she told my mother,"I know I can't expect to be invited to the wedding, but I'd like to come to the engagment party". Fair enough. She came to the engagement party and her one memorable comment that day was when I was leaning over a table to get some dessert and she yelled out "Nice to see you've put on a bit of weight love." But it gets better. After the party she rang my mother to thank her and to tell her that she had decided that although she knew she wasn't invited to the wedding her and her husband were coming anyway and would pay for their own dinner. My father talked her out of this, thank goodness. Fast forward 18 months to 6 weeks before the wedding. Krystal goes to visit my mother and starts abusing her that she hasn't received her wedding invitation yet, and she knows other people have got theirs. After my mother repeated that she wasn't invited, that no parent's friends were invited, she said "But I've already bought my dress!" She then proceeded to abuse my sister-in-law "Don't think I've forgiven you for not being invited to your wedding either" and then left asking my mother to return all the things she has lent her over the years. My feeling is if she behaves this badly about not being invited - thank goodness she's not coming to the wedding.       Guests 0815-02

  I had my wedding in April of this year and wanted to share a "guest from hell" story with you. We had invited a couple that were friends with my FMIL. They didn't send in their RSVP card by the response date, so we got FMIL to call them to find out if they were coming or not. They said "yes" so we counted them as two "yeses." About two weeks before the wedding (and two weeks after the response date), I get an RSVP card in the mail. It was the aforementioned couple, who must have randomly decided to send in the card after all, even though they had already told FMIL they were coming. The kicker? The card said "Yes" and they had marked "Number of guests - 7." What!? FMIL calls the wife up, and asks who are these 7 people? (Only the husband and wife's names were on the invitation). The wife says, "Oh, that's me, my husband and our 5 daughters." FMIL says that we are having a small wedding with severe space restraints and that as such, only this woman and her husband were invited and not the entire family. The wife gets all huffy, and says, "Are you having a sit-down dinner?" FMIL says, "No, it's a buffet." Huffy Wife says, "Well it's not like we'd be messing up a seating chart!" FMIL, perterbed, says, "Well, the bride and groom are paying for this on a budget, and the caterer does a head count, so if there are more guests than they gave a head count for, the bride and groom will have to write a check on the spot." Huffy Wife says, "Oh, you know some people won't show up! We'll just take their places!" FMIL says, again, that she wishes that everyone could be invited, but it just isn't possible. At this point, Huffy wife hangs up on her! The best part of the story - FMIL called another mutual friend to complain, and Mutual Friend says that Huffy Wife pulled the same stunt at Mutual Friend's daughter's wedding a couple of years back - not only did she only RSVP for 2, but showed up with the 5 daughters and their husbands, to total 10 uninvited guests! So Mutual Friend was glad that FMIL had the guts to call Huffy Wife on her antics. The final kicker - Huffy Wife is a WEDDING COORDINATOR so she should know better. Neither Huffy Wife, her husband or daughers showed to the wedding and FMIL hasn't spoken to her since.       Guests 0725-02

I'm getting married in a few weeks, and the replies for the reception are pouring in. On our reply cards we give our guests their choice of entrees: beef, chicken or vegetarian. Two reply came back from my husband-to-be's cousins with a write-in choice of "fish, no butter, diet"!! This is not a gourmet, 5-star restaurant we are going to but an ordinary reception hall where we, the bride and groom, are paying for beef, chicken or vegetarian! Adding an additional dish to our menu would increase our costs quite a bit. My mother was incredulous when she received these replies, and his mother was equally as stunned when I told her because both of these cousins have worked at this reception hall in the past. I find this incredibly insulting and selfish on the part of these people to do this to us, and so rather than "feeding" into this mess we will simply give them the same entree they ordered for my fiance's sister's wedding two years ago: beef! If they want fish, they can go to Long John Silver's and come to our reception after dinner......        guests 0715-02