Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


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Tacky Invitations

Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jun-Dec 2000 Archive


Recently I recieved the following invitation in the mail:


A Double Wedding sounds like fun-

A Honeymoon in Vegas, under the sun.

The ------- girls have met their mates

and _____ is the "Envelope Party" date

Buying for two could be "tuff",

since their homes are already filled with

household stuff,

But you can complete this task with ease

By decorating the "money trees"

Just bring a gift of check or cash

And add it to their honeymoon stash.

It does not matter if it's large or small

Our newlyweds will appreciate all.           einvites0713-00

My wedding was several weeks away, and I was lamenting to co-workers that I was a *trifle* concerned about costs. They were all married, and I was willing to accept any advice they might care to impart. Our then Human Resources temp heard us talking, and told me "You can always do what my husband and I did".

I barely knew this person, and I already thought her to be just a little tetched but I was willing to listen to anything at that point. She informed me (with a very self-satisfied air) that she had printed at the bottom of their wedding invitations "Donations Accepted". I had a very hard time keeping a straight face at that revelation, but she went on to tell me how dissapointed she had been when she found out that she could have had printed the 800 number of their travel agent so friends and family could charge money toward their honeymoon cruise on their credit cards! invite1026-00

At first I couldn't believe so many clueless people walked the earth along with us, but two recent bridal shower invitations completely blew my mind.  (this might also go under "Bridesmaids from Hell").

When did proofreading invitations become passé? I must have missed that memo.  

One bridal shower invitation requested the "Honor of my presents at the shower of..."  Yes, it said "Presents" not "Presence"  I know some brides consider their wedding to be a fundraising event on par with the Jerry Lewis Telethon, but please, let's be a little more subtle, hmmm???. 

If this wasn't bad enough, another bridal shower invitation invited me to a "Bridle Shower for...."  Yes, I'm serious, I can't make this stuff up if I tried.  A bridle shower.  Should I get the bride a saddle?  Might be cheaper than the china she registered for.    einvites0713-00b

I love your website...  Here's a story for you.  My mother received an invitation to her nephew's wedding (my cousin) this past March.  It was a flyer folded in envelope.  In color it read "Bill and Jen are getting married on April 1, 2000 at XXXXX State Park.  Please bring a dish."   My mother called her mother (my grandmother) to find out if this was an April Fools Joke or if they were really getting married.  Well, it was true...they were getting married.  I won't even describe the wedding...I'll let everyone's imagination do the rest of the work...    einvites0808-00

But recently one of my friends told me a story that I could not even begin to fathom. Her husband to be was never really close to his family. He only talks to his mother a couple of times a year and has never even met his cousins or aunts or uncles.  My friend, the bride, had formed a guest list, inviting the groom's mother and siblings. They were going to have an intimate wedding, and her father was going to pay for everything.

The groom's parents pretended like they didn't know they should help out in any way. The groom's mother was invited to the shower, but didn't attend or send a gift or even a card. She said maybe she'd come. Then, she said she wasn't sure if she'd be able to make the wedding because it was on one of her holy days. She was livid that they would plan a wedding deliberately on her holy day. Nevermind that they had no idea when her holy days were or even what religion she was. They invited her to be polite.

So when the wedding finally rolls around, keep in mind, none of the groom's family attended the rehearsal dinner or had as of yet RSVP-ed at all, the guests start rolling in. It went from what they were expecting (100) to about 200 people. Apparently, the groom's mother couldn't believe that they hadn't invited her extended family and PHOTOCOPIED the invitation and sent it to everyone she knew without asking if it was OK. It was ridiculous to see them pulling out extra tables after the wedding, but before the dinner to accomodate all the guests. Luckily, it was buffet!

Last December, I received an email from a good college friend, "Marie" saying that she was getting married in 6 months (May 19) and to "save the date". The wedding was approaching and I began to wonder where my invitation was (keeping in mind that I would need to book travel reservations as she now lives on the other side of the country.) I never received an invitation, and I thought perhaps the date changed and being busy with planning a wedding, didn't have time to just inform me of the date hange. Turns out that mutual friends attended the wedding on May 19, so the wedding did actually take place, but apparently I wasn't invited.

Funny, why ask someone to save the date if you are not going to invite them?   Moreover, if you DID ask them to save the date and found that you weren't able to invite them (due to cutting costs), I would much rather have a friend be honest and say "I'm sorry, but I just can't afford too many heads considering the large family I have to invite." I would prefer the courtesy of honesty rather than avoiding the issue and then cutting off ties. I haven't heard from her since the "save the date" email. So much for thinking someone is your close friend.     einvites1105-00

A supposedly good friend of mine (for several years) called me up 1 month before her wedding to inform me that my fiance Joe was not invited to the wedding. She went on further to explain that she and her fiance had decided that in order to stay within their strict budget they were not inviting anyone's spouse, fiance or boyfriend/girlfriend, they were only inviting their close friends.

I asked her didn't she consider Joe to be a good friend and she replied, "Well we're friendly but I don't think of him as a good friend." Now let me just explain that we had been just asked a week before this to housesit her and her fiance's cats while they were on their honeymoon, we have been over their house for dinner several times, Joe offered to give her little brother free drumming lessons, we went to an intimate New Year's Eve party at her mother's house this past year and both Joe and I went early to help set up, then stayed the next day and helped clean up!

Not to mention the fact that she knew Joe before I did, she actually introduced us to one another. How rude can you get? I am just so angry I could scream and this is exactly where she and her invitation belongs in Etiquette Hell'!

Ptuh- I spit on the whole thing. Thanks for letting me vent I feel much better now.                     einvite0822-00