Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go

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Tacky Invitations

Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jun-Dec 2000 Archive
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To start at the beginning, before I met my husband, I had been dating a man "S" and that relationship had continued for three years before I came to the (rather sad, but realistic) conclusion that I was the "other woman" to his mother, and wanting better for myself, ended the relationship. Shortly after that, I met the man I did marry, and when I had married "M," I included "S" in the list of people who received announcements. There was no response, at least not directly, but I didn't expect a response anyway. I believe announcements are for those who you'd like to know about your happiness without digging for a gift (the way sending an invitation to someone that you *know* can't attend would be). Since the relationship with "S" was the longest of any besides that with my now-husband, I thought that he would be happy that I was happy--we hadn't ended the relationship with a big fight, more of a sad recognition that "this just isn't working," but relatively friendly (as far as break-ups go).

Well, about five months after I got married, I received a wedding invitation to "S"'s wedding to "L". I wouldn't have given it much thought, beyond heading out to the card store (even though there really wasn't much chance that I would attend, since by this point, "S" and I lived about 1000 miles apart), but the outside envelope was addressed to "Mrs. M. Whatever Your Name Is" --yes, that's how it actually read, and the inside envelope was to "M. Whoever You Are" (again, exactly how it appeared).

Now, I'll grant that my married name is somewhat unusual, but if "S" had given his bride-to-be my name--which had to be the case, because I didn't know the bride at all--he certainly knew my maiden name, as well as my married name (from the announcement). I'm not really sure whether it was "S" or "L" who was behind the childishness, but couldn't do more than chuckle about it (until I learned of this site), and send them a congratulatory card (signing my actual name not stooping to an equally childish response).   Invites0210-02


I received the tackiest invitation I have ever seen.

It was a piece of cut and folded colored craft paper from the art room at the couple's child's elementary school.

On the front was written the words "GUESS WHAT?"

And inside was written our names (misspelled) and the words "You are invited to a wedding" with the date but no address. Just "somewhere in (name of beachside town)"

It seems the bride-to-be had misplaced the address of the venue, so she just invited people to turn up at the seaside town and hopefully all find each other somewhere on the beach for the ceremony.

She asked all the guests to bring a dish.

The reception was BBQ hamburgers served on paper plates and drinks in plastic cups.Invites0220-02


One of my coworkers was planning a wedding at the same time I was helping my brother plan his. She used all the same vendors, even the same reception hall and I even helped pick out the invitations. I knew she was a little tight on cash, but was not prepared to get an invitation for the wedding that had a home made note enclosed that read " reception for family only" what nerve! She didn't bother to have separate invites printed for the unwanted friends- how tacky.

Invites0319-02


I love your site... although it makes me a little nervous about my upcoming wedding!

My fiancé and I have been planning the wedding for over a year now. The guest list consists mostly of my family, as he is not close with his extended family. Most of his extended family he and his immediate family has not seen in at least 10 years. There are some of these people who didn't even Mark had a younger sister, Maggie. She is 21!

Recently his father, Moe passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly. "Mark" had to start calling everyone to let them know the sad news.

He called his aunt Mabel to let her know her brother had passed on. Well Mabel had her daughter Martha over at her home and the two of them passed the phone back and forth between themselves. Mark wanted to confirm aunt Mabel's address to send the obituary to, and while he is confirming the address Mabel hands the phone to cousin Martha. Martha confirms the address and says "that's my mom's address... but you can send my wedding invitation to her, and she'll make sure I get it". Okay. Whatever. I would also like to mention Martha has been married for awhile and Mark never received an invitation. Neither did his parents.

Fast forward to the funeral. Understandably, much of the extended family didn't show up as they live across the country; like Martha and Mabel. But the family who never stayed in contact with Mark and who live close by came. At least three of these people said something like "we'll see you at the wedding" or "We'll see you soon, maybe at the wedding". One of these people were the ones who didn't know Maggie existed! Mark also got a "can't wait to get my invitation!" comment.

Then, on the way out someone says "Your wedding is going to be so sad without Moe there". Thank you very much. How do you answer that? I just mumbled a "yeah, we'll miss him".

Invites0502-02


Some years ago we lived near a woman who's 8yr old son was a friend of our son. She and I were speaking acquaintances because of our children but not social friends. When she and her boyfriend decided to marry, I thought it was great that she had found Mr. "Right" after being single for awhile.

Two days before the ceremony, she sent her son over with an invitation to the wedding. I made over it a bit, how nice it was, etc. as he was a great kid. As I was putting it down on my desk, Robbie said, "Oh, I need it back because my mom ran out of them and needs to give it to someone else!"

Ummm, no, I didn't attend the event and 10 yrs later am still shaking my head when I think of it! Invites0520-02


 

 This is a story of a wedding "faux pas" that almost happened, but, thankfully, did not. Disaster was avoided only by inclement weather, which, in California, is unusual but in this case fortuitous. I shall explain…

My boyfriend (at the time), I’ll call him "Randy" was an attorney who had gone to law school in San Diego (we lived in L.A.). He received a wedding invitation from an old college friend whom he had only seen a few times since then. The wedding was set for October 31st, Halloween night and while the invitation was formal, it stated, "please wear costumes". The location was not at a church, but at a Women’s Club Hall. I might add that this was a second marriage for the bride and that all of us were in our 30’s and 40’s. Because of all this, I assumed this would not be a "formal affair". I might also add that I had never met either the bride or the groom.

My assumption was further justified when Randy told me that his friend, the Groom to be, was known to be quite the "prankster" and he thought that this wedding would be great fun! So we began to plan our costumes. We decided that it would be hilarious to go as a "shotgun wedding" bride and groom. I was going to wear a (previously used) wedding dress of a friend; this dress was not a formal gown, but a tasteful, lacey, "prom dress" and I was going to stuff a pillow at my waist to look like a pregnant bride. Randy was going to wear an old time "preacher’s outfit" and carry a toy shotgun.

Now to the day of the wedding…

The wedding location was about two hours away from our house and, while they say, "it never rains in California", on that day it was a torrential downpour. At the last minute we decided not to wear our costumes for the drive, but to bring them along and change when we got there. We dressed in what I would consider acceptable "non-formal" wedding attire.

Because of the rain, the traffic was horrible and we arrived at the Women’s Club a few minutes after the start of the wedding. There was no time to change into our costumes so we just sneaked into the back of the club to watch the remainder of the ceremony.

To my astonishment, not one person was wearing a costume. In fact, everyone was wearing very tasteful formal wedding attire. I was horrified at the thought that, had the weather not been bad, we would have bounded into this room with our funny costumes on only to be mortified that we were the only ones dressed liked that.

After the ceremony, however, many of the attendees did change into costumes. But the costumes they wore were not funny, humorous ones like we had planned, but big, elaborate Renaissance-type gowns and Shakespearean outfits that looked like they were from an opera or a ballet.

Well, I sat there glaring at my boyfriend and thanking my lucky stars that we did not make this horrible "faux pas" when I happened to glance at the receiving line. There was an older man standing in it that looked familiar to me. I asked some people around us who that man was and was told he was the father of the bride. I knew that I’d seen him before and I thought and thought and all of a sudden I realized who he was. He was the Chairman of the Board of the company that I worked for!

So, that is my story of "near complete humiliation". I do not understand to this day why the invitation, which was for Halloween night, had said, "please wear costumes" without further explanation of what we should expect.     Invites 1127-02


A few years after graduating from college, a female friend ("Jaqui") who used to hang out in our townhouse got engaged. As I was discussing this with another former housemate ("John"), we figured we wouldn't be invited, as we really didn't know her as well as our other housemates, who had known her since freshman year.

About a year or so later, I came across the group photo of her wedding in the alumni magazine. And John was in the photo, so I guess he did get invited. I felt a little hurt that it seemed like I was the only one from the house not invited.

I did get over that feeling. I have seen her every now and again at various other gatherings, but I never brought it up -- with her or anyone else in the group. Like I said, I didn't know her that well, and what's done is done. But what happen to me is nothing compared to what happened to another housemate ("Fox") as he told me a couple of years ago.

After 7-8 tumultuous years, Fox and his girlfriend ("Rita") broke up shortly before Jaqui's wedding. (Ironically, over the subject of marriage.) Now either Jaqui heard this through our circle of friends, or Rita told Jaqui directly. Fox then receives a note in the mail from Jaqui informing him he has been disinvited to her wedding.

She went on in this note to say that it would be awkward for Rita if Fox would be there, that she had known Rita longer (or better, I don't remember which), and that, more or less, Fox was invited in the first place because he was with Rita! (I am assuming that Fox had received a separate invitation.)

I don't know if Fox was going to attend anyway, as he knew Jaqui about as well as I did. But he went from having no real opinion of her to one of absolutely hating this woman. He at least should have been given the chance to be the better man, right? He and Jaqui have yet to cross paths since.   invites1126-02


This is quite possibly one of the rudest things a wedding host can do. A little background first...I am my mother's older daughter, from her first marriage. My sister was born to my mother and my stepfather, whose marriage sadly ended in divorce when my sister was three years old. Well, twenty years later, my former stepfather is getting remarried. Hooray, right? Well no, actually. You see, the woman he is marrying (I'll call her Karen) has two young adult children from HER first marriage, and it is obvious from many things she has said and done, that she has, let's say, a different standard of treatment for HER children than she does for my sister. In addition, my ex-stepfather was also a proud Grandpa to my sister's four-year-old daughter. He's not allowed to be that anymore, because doing so would detract from the attention and material things lavished on Karen's children. I mean, what a weenie! I could go into numerous illustrations of bad behavior by both of these people, but this isn't the forum for that, so I'll just stick to the wedding. Here's what happened. Bob and Karen became engaged on Christmas Eve 2001. They decided to get married in December 2002; however, no plans were actually made until the end of November, when I received a phone call from Bob, inviting my fiancé and me to their wedding at Karen's church on December 27 and after that, dinner to celebrate the marriage. This was to be an extremely small wedding (immediate family, immediate family members' significant others, and us only), so dinner was to be held in an "elegant" restaurant (Bob's word, not mine). We gladly accepted, and I bought a new dress and arranged for a babysitter for my young son. Come to find out, besides the boyfriend and girlfriend of Karen's children, my niece, and my sister's date, my fiancé and I were going to be the only guests. A few days prior to the wedding, I called Bob about a non-wedding matter. At the conclusion of our conversation, I asked, "Have you decided on the restaurant for the reception?" He didn't provide a direct answer right away. Instead, he responded by asking if my fiancé and I would mind giving him a ride to the church, as we live so close to him. Sure, I said, we would be happy to. He then proceeded to tell me, "By the way, Karen and I have decided to take ONLY the children and their dates to dinner. And the restaurant is very ritzy, and wouldn't be fun for Aurelia [his four-year-old granddaughter]. We're all taking a limo to the restaurant, and since you're not going you can give Aurelia a ride to her grandma's house after the wedding." Flabbergasted at our abrupt disinvitation to dinner and having been assigned child taxi duty, I could only manage, "Sure, OK." I'm planning a wedding myself, and I'm all too aware of how expensive even the tiniest dignified wedding can be. However, disinviting people to a reception after an invitation has been extended is exceptionally rude. Disinviting is NOT the correct answer if the couple's budget runs out of money. If money is an option, some component of the plans could be scaled down in order to honor the obligations to the guests who have been invited and have accepted. I told my mother what happened, and she thinks that what actually happened is that Bob and Karen realized after they decided not to include the granddaughter in the wedding dinner that someone had to take her home, and since we were the only non-blood-related guests, we were IT. Sometimes some people are completely foreign to the realm of good taste. This is one of those times.   invites 1230-02


One of my husband's co-workers had been engaged for quite some time, and given that he and my husband knew each other fairly well, and given that colleagues are often invited to weddings anyway, we figured that we might be invited to the impending nuptials. Six weeks before the wedding, four weeks before the wedding, two weeks...no invitation. We assumed that we simply weren't invited, and took no offense. Hey, different strokes for different folks, right?

Five days before the wedding, I received a forwarded email message from my husband. Seems that the co-worker in question had that very day sent out a generic email message to everyone in the department inviting them to the *ceremony* only. At the end of the message was a weblink to their church— ooooh, what a tasteful touch! I almost felt badly for this couple. They seem like nice people, and so I like to think they were just ignorant. I mean, really— it's one thing to have space limits on the church and invite people to the reception only (which went horribly wrong in the story but can be pulled off more gracefully), and quite another to decide that some 'guests' aren't even worthy of cake, punch and dancing! Honestly, I would rather have not been invited at all.     Invites 1118-02

Weeell, guests aren't "owed" an evening of dancing.   It is perfectly acceptable to have a modest cake/nuts/punch/mints reception for a larger group of guests and then have a smaller, more intimate reception later for immediate family and close friends.  As a member of a large church, this has worked well to include everyone interested in celebrating the nuptials while not breaking the budget. 


The following is an invitation I received to a 'wedding party'. At first glance it looked like a regular wedding invitation, on stock white paper in a nice envelope. When I opened it I found the following printed on the inside: (I have changed the names, but the rest is verbatim. Also, I must mention that the bride, Kelly had been married to someone else and was divorced the beginning of May - less than two weeks before this wedding to Casey. Well, I could have lived with the tackiness. However, the writing and grammatical errors are quite another. And to top it off - Kelly is a teacher. Look out public schools!)

Come dance and celebrate the marriage of Casey and Kelly Saturday, June 15th, 2002

7:30P.M.at the Cline’s Home Northern, CA

Some may question how a couple that dated less than two weeks had little more than an 8 hour engagement could possible know that they wanted to spend all eternity together. Unknown to most, is the fact that Kelly and I, though unable to officially "date" were given time to get to know one another as we spent time with our families and did different activities with our friends. There wasn’t a day that went by since we exchanged phone numbers last November that we didn’t talk on the phone or email each other. Not being able to "date" presented us with a rare situation which limited us to a close friendship and allowed us to be attracted to each other for the right reasons. When we finally had our first real date, we told each other we thought it would be tacky to kiss on the first date, so we were prepared to wait one more day. Well…if you know me, you’ll know that Cline’s never fails to "set the mood". After grabbing a hot-fudge shake and a sundae to go we were on our way to find a memorable spot. Our first attempt was unsuccessful as we were pulled over by the Woodbridge Ranch security patrol while making our way through the field to the park. After driving around for a while, we finally ended up in the Granite Bay High School parking lot. How romantic! I opened the doors to my truck and danced with my girlfriend while we listened to a song which I had recorded in a studio for her a couple of weeks prior. I gave her a ring and asked her not to date anyone else. She agreed. What she didn’t know was that she would be receiving a more special ring in just a couple of weeks. I had already bought the wedding rings and had made the plans to elope on Monday the 13th of May. I was so anxious that week that it reminded me of my last week waiting to get out of the MTC to fulfill my mission. On the 13th of May, we took a jog on the American River. On the way back to the truck I stopped Kelly, and had her sit on a bench overlooking the beautiful river while I went to the truck to grab some water so we could rest. I came back with my guitar strapped on and the ring taped to the inside so she wouldn’t see. I sang her a song I had written for her and asked her to marry me in the last verse. Even though we had never mentioned getting married, I was confident she would say "Yes". She hugged me in excitement and said she would. I then explained to her that I had everything ready and the wedding ceremony would be held at 6:30 that night in Lake Tahoe. When she agreed to that I knew that she would be the crazy wife I’d always dreamed of. On our honeymoon in the Bahamas, she proved to be even crazier. Come to our wedding party so that Kelly can tell you "the rest of the story…" we’d love to have you there.

Invites 1116-02


This is actually a story that happened to my parents, rather than me. Not only is it tacky, it's just plain rude! As a younger couple, my parents lived and worked in the country. Not long after they moved to the town, a young single woman from the city moved into their small country town, too, to work at the same establishment that my parents worked at. Mum and Dad did not know "Lucy," but took her under their wing - she did not know anyone, and it was her first time away from home, so she often spent the night at Mum and Dad's, and was often at our place for meals (a few nights a week). Anyway, it wasn't long before Lucy was engaged to a local boy, and the wedding plans began. Lucy spent much of her time with Mum planning the wedding, and telling Mum and Dad all of the 'awful' people they worked with who had better not be expecting an invitation to HER wedding. In fact, this became the subject of many of their conversations - how dreadful she found many of the people that she worked with, and how she wanted nothing to do with them. So the invitations were sent out, and what do you know? - All the 'awful, dreadful' workmates were invited, and my parents didn't score an invite!
Invites 1110-02


I read the posted story about the bulk e-mail to the 500 people in that company, but this one goes even further, for, in that case, at least the bride had printed out some invitations to mail to some of the invitees (she had one in her cube to show to people).

I heard that a close friend had sent out e-mails for his wedding (granted, a third wedding, but is that still outrageous?). I found out that even the closest friends were sent out the same form of e-mail. Well, as I have my e-mail inbox set up to sort out all bulk mail for deletion, I did not even read my invitation.... Needless to say, I did not attend the wedding and was not concerned about it.    Invites 1023-02


Just out of high school (about 10 yrs ago) a girl I knew and her boyfriend decided to marry. For a small town family, they were one of the few people in town considered "well off." That's why I was so surprised to see the invitation. The invitations were professionally printed RIBBONS (think track ribbons), with the frayed edge that looks like they've been cut by pinking shears. To make matters worse, they were white ribbons with red print. They looked like third place track ribbons, which was hilarious because it was his third marriage.

As a post script on the invitations....no gifts are requested, a money tree will be provided at the reception.    Amazingly enough, they are still married.     Invites 1008-02


My husband and I decided to get married in a tourist area (Gatlinburg, TN) about 4 1/2 hours away from our hometown. Everything was arranged and paid for by my family, even our 5 day honeymoon. We didn't expect any of our friends to make the drive up there, it was around Christmas and we knew that they would want to be near their own families then. We invited all our friends and family. My husbands family is all local, but my parents had to fly my grandmother in and my other set of grandparents drove from their house (5 1/2 hours) to my parents and then up to where the wedding was. My parents paid for hotel rooms for all of us and also offered to do so for my husbands mother & father and brother & sister-in-law. We never got any response from anyone about it.

I asked my sister in law several years later why they didn't come to our wedding. I was told that her husband (ex by then) said that I didn't want anyone but my own family there and that they weren't really invited. (Hello, the hotel rooms were offered free to them, yes they were invited.) Well, come to find out, they never got a honeymoon and she was excited to be able to go up there and have a belated honeymoon. He didn't want to spend the money, so he lied about it. No one in my husbands family came. By the way, no, we didn't get a wedding gift from my husbands brother. They got a new microwave from my husband when they got married. Maybe it's better that they didn't come after all. Jerks.    invites 0831-02


My boyfriend of one and one-half years was invited to serve as a groomsman in the wedding of one of his closest childhood friends. Both the bride and groom come from extremely wealthy families; the couple makes plenty of money as well. A few months before the wedding, my boyfriend gets an itinerary signed by the bride, which described in full detail how the members of the wedding party were to go about fulfilling their duties before and up to the actual wedding ceremony. She went on to explain that the members of the wedding party were not permitted to bring dates unless they were currently engaged or married. She couched this in her attempt to convince those receiving the letter that she and the groom wanted to limit the guest list so that they could celebrate their union with only their closest friends and family. Her extravagant evening wedding will include 500 guests--the couple's closest friends and family. Wealth does not necessarily indicate class. Any Southern lady would blush at this tacky behavior.

Invites 0704-02


This one has probably been told before my hundreds of other people, but this really did hurt my feelings. Let me set the stage first: My fiancé and I got engaged in September of 2001, and we had promptly set our date for September 14, 2002. One of my fiancé’s groomsmen, Denis, also got engaged in December of 2001, and he and his fiancée, Alex, set their date for September 7, 2002. They very graciously asked us if this was OK with us, and even postponed their honeymoon by one week so that they could still be in/attend our wedding. Of course, we had no problems with this and were very happy for them.

We are very good friends with Denis and Alex, and we spend lots of time with them, but the primary relationship is between my fiancé and Denis. Our invitations were going out at about the same time as theirs, so I was checking the spelling of her last name to make sure I got it right on my invitations and I also gave her the correct spelling of my name, assuming she would want it. Two weeks later, we get their invitation in the mail, and the computer printed label on the invitation was addressed to "Mr. xxxx and guest."

AND GUEST??????????

We go out to dinner often with these people, I gave them the correct spelling of my name, we were engaged BEFORE they were, I am going to be my fiancé’s wife ONE WEEK after their wedding, and they were too freaking lazy to put MY NAME on the invitation. It hurts my feelings and basically makes me feel insignificant - maybe it's irrational, but you better believe that her name will be in big bold letters when my invitations go out.   invites 0712-02


A few years ago, a former friend of mine announced her engagement.

I had come back to my hometown for a visit, and she happily broke the news that she and her longtime BF were engaged and would I come to the wedding? She made a huge show of getting all my new contact information so she'd know where to send the invites. When I returned home, she emailed me a few times, saying they had set the date for April. Great.

However, March and then April came and went with no word and no invite. I didn't dwell on it, but was curious if she'd cut me off the list. I later got word that the wedding was postponed til September, and we went another round of getting all my info straight, but I didn't expect anything at that point. Again, September rolled around and no invite, no news of the wedding. I heard through mutual friends a few months later that she did finally get married.

While I chalked it up to her age, I still thought it a bit rude to go through all the steps and then not invite someone - twice.

Oh, and as a post script to this story, the following summer I ran into her while visiting family. She was visibly uneasy. We made small talk but this time I didn't bother giving her my info. I don't think I want to be bothered when she has kids.  Invites 0730-02


I heard through a mutual acquaintance that a woman with whom I had once been close friends had gotten engaged. A few weeks later, I received an invitation in the mail from the woman and her fiancé to a "wine and hors d'oeuvres reception to celebrate our marriage," but no invitation to the wedding itself. The invitation included an e-mail address to RSVP, and I e-mailed the following day to send my best wishes but regrets that I had to work the evening of the reception. From that point forward, I was suddenly inundated with e-mails and voice-mail messages from this former friend -- who several months earlier had cancelled several plans we had together and hadn't given me the time of day since -- saying she couldn't believe I couldn't go to her "wedding" and why couldn't I take off that night from work? Each time, I politely responded to express my regrets that I couldn't attend her reception and wished her all the best.

A few weeks before her marriage, I ran into her and she once again lamented that I couldn't go to her "wedding." I told her I was confused - I had only received an invitation to an evening reception -- was the wedding ceremony to take place at the same time? She told me no, that the wedding ceremony was to be earlier that day, but it was for "family and close friends only." She added, "You can go if you want." I was too stunned to say anything. Then her e-mail and phone messages whining about how I wasn't going to her "wedding" continued -- as though she hadn't told me to my face that I hadn't been invited to the wedding.    invites0812-02


The following is an account of what my FBIL and FSIL actually had the nerve to do a few years ago.

I had been dating my long-distance boyfriend for a few months when I found out that his older brother had met a girl at college and they had gotten engaged. It truly must have been a whirlwind romance because they had been not even been dating as long as my boyfriend and I!

A few months after the seemingly happy news, my boyfriend told me that his brother and FSIL had picked the date of their wedding. I laughed for ten minutes straight while my boyfriend tried to convince me he was telling me the truth about their wedding date being on our first anniversary! When I finally realized it was true, I was amazed. However, I was also happy because my boyfriend was to be the best man, and what better way to celebrate your first anniversary, especially if you have not seen each other in several months, than at a glorious formal affair? Who cares how we spend it, as long as we were together, right?

WRONG!! I waited and waited for my invitation to come in the mail. As the weeks passed, and our anniversary creeped up, I began to be doubtful. My FBIL insisted that his brother be the best man, so my boyfriend was definitely required to attend, even though it was obvious to his family that he didn't want to be there without me on our anniversary. I did not want to seem rude by asking for an invitation, so I just waited and hoped my invitation would arrive soon.

The wedding was a huge affair, as the bride's parents are loaded, yet they couldn't pay for me, their FSIL, to attend. My boyfriend and I had been dating longer than they had, so there was no excuse for me to go uninvited because our relationship was not serious enough.

The day of the wedding came, and my boyfriend called me from 1,000 miles away weeping because he could not be with me on his own anniversary.  Invites 0725-02


About three years ago my cousin, who is the same age as me and had been friends with me for years, was getting married to her long-time, live-in boyfriend. She was planning the wedding around the same time as I was planning to move overseas for a few years. Since we were informed of all details of the planning of the wedding as it progressed, I (perhaps foolishly!) assumed I would be invited and waited to receive an invitation before I booked my flight so I could attend. Well, when the invitations were sent out, my parents were invited, but my sister and I were not.

Rather disappointed by this, I went ahead and booked my flight for the same day as her wedding as I was fast running out of time to get myself settled in the UK and into a job before Christmas. About three weeks later an invitation arrived at my parents' house addressed to my sister and myself only - no partners. Apart from the fact that we were clearly on a "B" list, I didn't even live at my parents' house, a fact of which my cousin was well aware and she knew my address, and to this day I have never even seen the invitation (my parents lived a long way away from me). Naturally I had to decline the invitation as I was flying at almost exactly the same time as the wedding! My uncle then had the nerve to gripe to my mother that I "knew what day the wedding was", as if to suggest that I should have put my life on hold to attend her wedding, when I wasn't even invited initially anyway - I really wish she'd told him the "real" reason I did decline, as a straight-forward answer might have been the only way to make them realize what a faux pas they had committed! And to top the whole thing off, on my cousin's list gift list at one of the department stores, she had the cheek to include some Stuart crystal pieces - something far more suitable for a 30 year anniversary than a wedding gift! And then she and her husband traveled overseas for two years following the wedding, leaving the gifts in her father's garage...!    Invites 0708-02