Ooops!
(Foot-In-Mouth Disease
and Silly Mistakes)
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Jan-Jul 2003 Archive
My husband's cousin got married recently. None of us had
spent much time with the bride-to-be prior to the wedding events. She
looked absolutely gorgeous floating down the aisle on their wedding day.
Imagine our surprise and horror when she turned around with her veil
lifted at the end of the ceremony to reveal an enormous dragon tattoo
(with flame shooting from its nostril) sticking out over the sweetheart
neckline of her beautiful, white wedding gown! I don't mind tattoos, but I
think this occasion called for either some body makeup or a higher
neckline. Eeeww!
Ooops 0813/03
This is an account from a family friends' wedding back
in 1995. My sister had known the groom for about 10 years at that point. I
had known him since I was 7 years old. Quite a long time! She had
introduced "Derek" (the groom) to a college friend of hers at a
very large and prestigious college named "Lily".
"Lily" and "Derek" hit it off quite well and soon got
engaged about a year and a half after meeting in 1992. We were all invited
to the wedding up near Chicago and my sister, "Maggie" was a
bridesmaid in that wedding. Now, my mother, "Lana" is normally a
very sweet and genteel Southern woman who usually doesn't mess up,
etiquette wise.
However, with that being said, I happen to overhear her
talking to close friends of Derek, Lily and Maggie. She said, and I quote,
"I had always hoped that Derek and Maggie would get together but Lily
is a good girl for him." Ok, first of all, you don't go telling
people at a wedding that you had wished for the groom to have married your
daughter instead of the bride! I was completely mortified and I was just
pleading to God not to have anyone else know about that comment. If my
sister had heard that, she would have been completely floored. I don't
think she knows about it to this day even. Derek and Lily are still
married and they are all still close friends. My mother is know married
again herself to my stepfather after my own dad died in 1995, just about
two months prior to that wedding.
Ooops 0826/03
The coordinator at our church told us this story. A
bride and groom wanted to release butterflies as they left the church. The
box was handed to them, but the butterflies had died in transit! They
opened the box. Nothing. They turned the box upside down and shook it.
Dead butterflies tumbled out. Not an auspicious beginning to their
marriage...
Ooops 0828/03
I recently got married and I’m not sure that these are
etiquette faux pas, however r I think that they are pretty funny.
My flower girl (5 1/2 years old) was so scared about walking down the
aisle, despite the fact that she had been practicing for months and the
proper way to disperse her flowers, she forgot to drop her flowers. She
gets about half way down the aisle and her mother (my cousin) instructs
her to go back, so she turns and runs down the aisle and starts over, this
time remembering to drop her flowers.
About half way through the ceremony the priest asks for the rings. Simple
enough request so we thought. The best man gets my husbands ring off no
problem, my ring on the other hand was stuck. My aunt had tide my ring
backwards causing it to knot when the strings were pulled. I am doing
everything in my power not to laugh, as my entire family is shouting, I
have a knife, I have scissors, would some one just cut the ring off
already. So my stepfather to be, comes up to the altar and cuts the string
freeing my ring. My husband and I spent the rest of the ceremony trying
not to giggle.
These 2 incidents truly took the tension away and I just wanted to share
them with the brides to be. Ooops 0830/03
The wedding was a lovely, small scale, very elegant
affair at a historic house in New England. We were all milling around in
our semi formal attire, enjoying the hors d' oeuvres when a guest caught
our eye. She was wearing a very trendy black dress. The bodice was sheer
black. Here's the problem. She wasn't wearing a bra! Yes, it was all there
for everyone to see. A few of us nervously giggled for a few minutes
before someone decided that maybe it wasn't on purpose. So a kind hearted
(and brave!) woman went up and told her. It turned out it wasn't some new
style and she wasn't aware of the show she was giving. She went into the
ladies room and reappeared later without the strip tease effect.
Ooops 0830/03
This one is short but sweet. My good friend had a lovely
small wedding in a local park. It was a very sweet ceremony in front of a
picturesque lake, with just close friends and family and it went off
without a hitch. Only problem was the woman who came off of the nature
trail, walking her dogs.
She saw the ceremony taking place and, instead of
turning her dogs around, walked them right behind the couple as they were
finishing their vows!! I took this picture of her. Enjoy!
I don't consider this a faux pas by the dog
walker. The nature trail may have been the only avenue for her to
get from Point A to Point B. If you have a wedding ceremony in a
public place, it's just the nature of the beast that other people enjoying
the same public space may inadvertently become part of the ceremony
background.
Ooops 0830/03
A few years ago my husband and I received an invitation
to a vow renewal ceremony for our friends. I had been friends with them as
long as they had been married, so I was very much looking forward to the
event. On the night of the ceremony, we drove to the church indicated on
the invitation to find it completely dark without another person in sight.
Being completely baffled, I grabbed the invitation (which luckily I had
grabbed on the way out the door in case we had trouble finding it) and
began reading to my husband "Yes, this is the church, yes this is the
address, yes this is the weekend..." then I noticed that it was the
previous night's date. I had somehow assumed that the date was a Saturday,
since most events such as these occur on Saturday. Their wedding
anniversary fell on Friday, so we had missed the ceremony. I still feel
horrible every time I think about it.
Ooops 0924/03
Dear Miss Jeanne,
I had always hoped to remain a follower rather than
become a contributor to your fabulous website. Alas, this was not to be.
The story concerns my recent engagement. My fiancé and I had a very
private engagement - basically an exchange of rings. We strongly believe
that this is something personal, and although we shared the good news with
our families and friends, we had no parties and no formal celebrations. My
mother was gracious enough to take us out to dinner with the family, a
night which we enjoyed and deeply appreciated.
Now all this happened while I was on leave from work.
Both families were happy and so were we. Both my fiancé and I have been
brought up to respect other people's wishes, especially vis-a-vis
something as personal as an engagement or wedding and we thought (hoped)
that others would do the same in our regard.
Well, that was not to be. When I went back to work, my
boss asked to see the ring, said congrats etc. Then he said, "So
where was the announcement in the paper?" I politely informed him we
had no such thing, it is not something we deemed necessary and we wanted
to keep the whole thing private. "So who blessed the rings?" was
his next question. Might I add I live in a religious place (although I do
not adhere to any of the beliefs) and blessing of the rings by a priest is
fairly common, though not as much as it used to be a couple of decades
ago. I replied that we had no such ceremony, no parties, nothing.
"Well then," he thunders self-righteously, "then you have
nothing at all."
I was floored. I forced a smile, muttered something
about different views and marched out for a walk around the building,
fuming. This is not the first time the dear man has blundered. He's made
frequent remarks about my weight, happily ignoring the fact that he's at
least four times bigger than I am. Not that size matters, but his attitude
reminds me of the story of the pot and the kettle.
Thanks for letting me vent, I just needed to get this
off my chest. Incidentally, my fiancé and I are very happy together and
we are planning a no fuss wedding - I wonder what the boss' reaction to
that will be ;-) Ooops 1004/03
Love this site! Thought I'd share the one thing that
made our day less than perfect. It was a small wedding, so I handmade all
the invitations, programs, place cards, etc. (hand-embossed, gold-edged..
a pretty nice job, I thought). Instead of a Guest Book, I decided to do a
large page that guests could sign, which would later be framed as a
keepsake. It had our names, the date, a carefully hand-deckled edge and
embossed roses. It was on a stand near the door, and unfortunately, I did
not think to appoint someone to stand guard over it. Sometime during the
reception, someone (a friend) decided that it was appropriate to add a
small cartoon by their name. Others (presumably children, by the style)
added additional cartoons in sort of a goggle-eyed Simpsons' style. The
most notable looked like a devil or demon. Not the kind of thing you'd
want to frame! They were all pretty ugly, and only the one by our friend's
name was at all acceptable to us. In addition, there were names that we
did not recognize - it seems children from a banquet in another room
stopped in to our reception, and signed the paper!
To make matters worse, I tried to elicit an apology from
my young cousins, who had admitted to drawing some cartoons. This only
resulted in making their father, my uncle, defensive and upset that I
would suggest they were out of line. His reasoning is that since I had
invited children, I should expect and accept that they will do childish
things. Perhaps he's right, I've learned the lesson to be prepared!
Ooops 1005/03
One of my acquaintances from high school was getting
married during the summer about ten years ago. My best friend from high
school was going to be the bride’s sister-in-law, so I was invited to
her "bachelorette party" which was going to be a Jack and Jill
keg party in the woods. That should have set off alarms in my head, but I
felt sorry for the bride because she didn’t have many close girl
friends, so I agreed to attend. During the drunken keg party at which I
was the only person sober, she gushed that she'd love it if I could attend
her wedding. My friend begged me to go to keep her company and convinced
me that a night of dancing together would be great fun. I went home to
tell my boyfriend, but he refused to attend the wedding. He reminded me
that the guys who would be at the wedding were horrible people who
constantly got into fistfights, got arrested, and generally acted like
jerks each time we socialized with them. He was right--we stopped hanging
around with them after high school because they had a different idea of
fun than we did. He urged me to skip the wedding, but I felt obligated to
attend.
The day of the wedding was miserably stormy. The bride
and groom were getting married in a private ceremony and the reception was
being held at a local VFW hall. I bought a card and put a generous check
inside. I arrived at the hall about 30 minutes after the designated start
time, placed my card in their card box located near the door, and then
realized that the lights were out. The storm had knocked down power lines.
I waited to see if they would get a battery-powered boom box, or if we
would just hang out and talk. I walked over to get something to eat from
the buffet while I waited for my friend to arrive. To my surprise, the
mothers had packed up all the food and were carting it out to the car. I
figured we must be moving to somebody's house. Nope. The mothers thanked
us for coming and said that it was too bad the lights went out. Nobody was
even offered a plate to take home, and the bride and groom went home to
take a nap. Ooops
1103/03
I very much enjoy your website and the stories. My wife
and I were married nearly 8 years ago and the wedding and reception was
perfect. One item that does stick in our minds however concerns my wife’s
grandmother, who is now over 90 and unfortunately has dementia and does
not recognize any of her family. 8 years ago she was much better, but
still did not really now where she was or who was getting married. She
enjoyed the day though as did we all.
The moment came at the reception during one of those
moments when the room suddenly falls silent for no apparent reason. My
wife’s grandmother had been chatting away when she spotted our DJ, who
was of Indian descent. Suddenly into this general lull of conversation
(during dinner so the music was quite low as well), came the exclamation,
"Look, there’s a darkie over there!". General conversation
resumed almost immediately.
(Please don’t think we are laughing at someone who is
suffering an illness – at the time she could still carry on a
conversation, and came from a generation in which comments and terms such
as that were not considered offensive, although if she were not ill, she
probably would have only thought it, rather than said it out loud. My wife’s
grandmother is English, and I am writing from Australia where she spent
all of her adult life). Ooops
1115/03
If there is a musicians' code of conduct, this must be
against it. The summer before my freshman year of college, my cousin asked
me to play my violin at her wedding. Now, I am certainly no prodigy, but I
play the same difficult repertoire as others in my age group. In any case,
Schubert's gorgeous Ave Maria is well within my means. At the rehearsal,
after having played this particular piece, I was approached by a young
woman I had never seen before in my life. She proceeded to inform me that
I "might want to tune it a little higher." This would have been
acceptable if:
a) she were my teacher -- a wonderful lady who trained
at Juilliard or someone else I trust
b) I had asked for her opinion
c) it had not become obvious that she was more concerned
about drawing attention to herself than she was with my intonation d) she
were not speaking to me in a tone of sugar-coated condescension, as if I
were a small child. I was practically speechless. She didn't say another
word to me for the remainder of our stay, which suited me just fine. I
still have no idea who she was. My cousin was happy and that's really all
that matters.
Ooops 1204/03
In the country where we live it is customary to give
money as wedding presents. A box with an opening is placed at the entrance
and people drop in envelopes with checks. My friend’s mom (a lady in her
late 60s) walked into the hall holding an envelope in one hand and a
credit card in the other, and then proceeded to drop the credit card into
the SEALED box. Well, she raised quiet a racket till she got her card
back. (The event was videotaped and shown on local TV). Ooops 0925/03
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