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One of my coworkers does not usually say thoughtless or unkind things, so imagine my surprise when I offered to show her a picture of the wedding dress I had recently put a deposit down on, and she responded by saying to me, a practicing Hindu which was no secret to her whatsoever: "You're not wearing one of those stupid sari things are you?"



My adult son "Andy" was experiencing some stomach problems so his doctor sent him to our local hospital to get an endoscopy.  He'd have to be sedated for this, so he asked me to accompany him to the hospital so I could drive him home afterward.  

When he was ready to leave, we were walking out when we recognized "Carol", a lady from our church in one of the patient cubicles.  Obviously she was recovering from a similar ordeal, and her husband "George" was with her waiting to take her home.  I had met George a couple of times, but since I've become an infrequent churchgoer in recent years it wasn't surprising that he didn't recognize me, though he did recognize Andy and Carol greeted us both by name.   Carol, ever the Southern lady though her eyes weren't quite focusing yet, asked how we were doing, and Andy told her that he had recently purchased an engagement ring (his fiancée lived in a city several hundred miles away).  I was slightly flabbergasted when George offered his hearty congratulations--he had mistaken me for my 25-year-old son's fiancée'!   I explained out that I was his mother and the poor dear man looked so embarrassed. I tried to reassure him that I was flattered by the mistake and really, he had no reason to be embarrassed and oh dear look at the time we have to get Andy something to eat we'll see you later good to see you get well soon, Carol, bye-bye!! and out the door quite fast. 


I married the love of my life almost 5 years ago. We were fortunate to have no monsters among our families, guests or vendors, but this one little incident still makes me cringe when I think of it:

We sent out our invitations in July for a September wedding. Included among our invited guests was my great uncle, “Bob,” and his wife, “Helen.” Bob and Helen were the family comedians, and much loved by my family, and we would been so happy if they could have made it. However, they lived a few thousand miles away, and I knew that they weren’t in the best of health, so I wasn’t surprised to receive the reply card marked as a decline. Included with the reply card was a very generous check, for which I immediately sent a thank you, thanking them for the gift and saying how much we would miss them both at the wedding.

A few weeks later I was speaking with another uncle about the wedding plans, and I told him that Bob and Helen weren’t coming, to which my uncle replied, “Well, you know, Helen died in May.” I had not only invited an aunt who had already died, but also thanked her for a wedding gift! Does that count as a faux pas? I try to comfort myself that she probably would have thought it was funny. Bob passed on not long after, so I never even had a chance to apologize, although… what does one say?

And from now on, my parents have been instructed to please inform me as soon as one of our relatives dies!


My husband & I went to a wedding a few years ago that was in the same metropolitan area we lived in.  However, it was about a forty minute drive from our house.  We weren’t really familiar with this area of town, so we were surprised to be caught in some sort of parade about a mile away from the reception hall.  As it turns out, it was a car cruise – everyone was driving beautifully restored old vehicles (except for us).  We were stuck in my husband’s unmentionable truck in the middle of all these meticulously cared for hot rods with no air-conditioning.  People were sitting in lawn chairs along the route yelling at cars to “Burn It!”  Apparently that means squeal your tires.  As I said, we weren’t familiar with this area, so we didn’t know any other way to get to the reception other than the route we were on, which was going at a pace of less than 5 mph.  It took us almost an hour to travel the last mile, which caused us to miss the grand entrance of the bridal party (apparently, they knew another route, but hadn’t bothered to put it on the map enclosed with the invitation).  One other thing, there was no assigned seating, and my husband & I really only knew people in the bridal party, so we were turned away from 3 different tables before we finally begged someone to let us sit with them!



Now that we've been married for 13 years, I think it's safe to tell a story on myself about my wedding.

Thanks to my family's attitude and efforts, we had a lovely traditional wedding, while at the same time everyone involved was relaxed and enjoying the day. Just what we'd hoped for! It helped that our unofficial motto was, "So long as we have the groom and the rings, nothing else is important."

We were on a budget, so our reception was very, very low-cost, in the fellowship hall with minimal decorations, sherbet-and-ginger-ale punch, and finger foods, no DJ, no dancing, and homegrown entertainment (my sister sings light opera, and my dad barbershop music).

All was going beautifully until it was time to throw the bouquet. Because we were in the fellowship hall, there wasn't really a good place for the bouquet-tossing, so we just grouped the females at one end of the hall, paced off about fifteen feet, and I turned my back and tossed the missile ... I mean bouquet ... over my shoulder.

Smack into the eye of a six-year-old whom I used to baby-sit. She promptly burst into tears, and I was horrified to think that I'd injured a child at my own wedding! Thankfully, it turned out that she wasn't hurt and was crying only because her mom had cautioned her not to try to catch the bouquet.

Once we were sure she was OK, we were able to laugh over it, and my dad recommended jokingly that at my "next" wedding, I should try a face-forward, underhand toss. Ooops0508-07

We weren’t even at a wedding an my mom managed to be rude to a bride!  We went home last weekend for a visit and were walking around the downtown area.  We all decided to go into a restaurant to grab a glass of wine before we headed to dinner.  Afterwards, we all went to the restroom.  I went in first, my mom and my brother’s girlfriend soon followed.  As I walked in, a young woman walked out in basketball attire.  While in the restroom I hear a bunch of loud, obnoxious girls giggling and yelling & just figured it was the other members of the basketball team.  I washed my hands & went out in the hall to wait with my husband for the rest of our group to finish up.  While waiting, I see a bride in full dress along with about 3 bridesmaids come out of the restroom.  The bride didn’t look happy and the group quickly walked away.

So our group was finally gathered and we left the restaurant.  As we passed the bridal group, I noticed a few dirty looks thrown our way and thought it was weird.  When we got to the street, I found out why.  My mom told us her “funny” story.  She was in the restroom and the bride bumped into her.  She kept saying she was sorry and my mom’s response was “You don’t need to say you’re sorry to me, you’ll be saying you’re sorry for the rest of your life.  I just went through a bitter divorce.”  She thought she was quite clever and was laughing about it.  The rest of us were speechless with horror that she would say this to a bride!  We told her it was rude & she still thinks it’s funny!


Page Last Updated October 11, 2008