Horror stories involving children
Jan-Jul 2003 Archive
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Actually, I think this is all the adult's fault in this
story and not the baby's, but it seems to fit this category.
I have a cousin who had dated the same girl since junior
high. It was, of course, inevitable that they should eventually marry and
they did. At the wedding, the bride's cousin had a small baby. I've never
thought one should bring a baby to a wedding or small children who can't
be trusted to be quiet and in fact, I said so on the invitations to my own
wedding (do I go under "Bridezilla" for that? LOL) but Cousin's
Bride had not.
From the time of the procession on, this baby wailed at
the top of its tiny lungs, loud, long and without ceasing. Not just
crying. Screaming. You couldn't hear anything that was going on. Not the
vows, not the music, not yourself think. And they were videotaping this. I
doubt if the bride, groom and minister could hear each other and that
video has got to be one for the books.
Did Mama get up and take Baby out so the wedding
wouldn't be ruined? Nope. She sat there ineffectually jiggling Baby and
not even sticking a bottle or pacifier in Baby's mouth to muffle the
racket. Finally, Bride's Mother gets up, goes to Baby's Mama, takes the
baby and leaves the sanctuary, thus missing her OWN DAUGHTER'S vows in
order to remove Banshee Baby and the noise from the ceremony. Did Banshee
Baby's Mama get up, suitably embarrassed, to take over and let the bride's
mother come back? Nope. She sat there quite comfortably until it was all
This happened a good 40 years ago, but I still find it
quite remarkable. My brother's 4th grade teacher was getting married to a
prominent politician. She invited her entire class, including my brother.
Knowing her, I can only imagine it was to use them as props. My brother
didn't want any part of this, so he refused to go. My then 13 year old
sister decided she wanted to go in his place. Her reasoning was that she
was previously in this woman's class and therefore, eligible to attend. My
mother, who grew up a small town orphan, was blissfully unaware of the
rules of good etiquette. So my sister ended up going. I can only imagine
how this went over with the bride. Her entire class and one leftover. My
sister was very petite and hopefully did not stand out too much.
Anyways, to cut to the chase, when school started up
again in the fall, I had the sheer misfortune of being in this woman's
class. She made my life miserable. She was so obvious that when she
brought treats for the entire class, my classmates were surprised that she
had one for me.
Hello! Just want to say I LOVE your site. I was hoping
not to have anything to contribute after our wedding last month, but of
course our dear friends and family didn't disappoint us. I guess this
story would have to go under the Wedding Rugrats section.
My hubby has a cousin from hell, who is nine years old.
We had a gorgeous outdoor wedding, everything went fine.. except for said
Rugrat, who was seated in the aisle seat. As my hubby-to-be and our priest
were walking up the aisle, the brat gets out of his seat and actually
grabbed my husband's rear end! Luckily, he was seated toward the back, so
not many people saw this, but it's clearly visible on the wedding video. I
guess I should just be grateful that he didn't decide to grab the priest's
butt instead! This same cousin threw a fit because he didn't receive a
pocketwatch, which was our groomsmens' gift, (he wasn't in the wedding,
but his older brother was). He is famous for his tantrums, so to keep the
peace his brother ended up letting him take HIS watch.
So you don't think I married in to the family from hell,
my side didn't disappoint either. My 19 year old cousin, who thinks she is
the next best thing to J'lo, was dirty dancing on the floor with any guy
who would get near her, including our DJ. Fast forward to the hotel
afterward, when she and her sister, along with several other guests,
decided to get themselves kicked out of the (closed) hotel pool for skinny
dipping. Always an adventure with this crowd!
When I was four years old my oldest sister Cheryl was
eighteen. She ran off ,converted to Catholicism and eloped with her
boyfriend. The priest that married them refused to give his full blessing
to the marriage until she told her parents. To satisfy the Priest my
mother insisted on throwing a full and proper church wedding, even though
we are Mormons. The crowning jewel in Mom's plan being that my seven year
old sister Sena and I as well has my five year old cousin Larry would be
part of the wedding party.
Now here comes the point where I commit the the faux
pas. Kindly remember that I'm four years old at the time, and this was a
full Catholic wedding. Stand at the alter while the Priest gives a sermon,
listen to the vows, and then there was the blessing. At least, I think it
went that way. Half way through I kneeled down on the floor and fell
asleep. The sad part is that no one noticed until the pictures were
developed. Though Cheryl lovingly teases me about it to this day.
I'm now nearly twenty-six with a husband and a little
girl of my own.
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