A couple of years ago, my friend "Kate" got married, the wedding was lovely.  The reception was another story.  Kate had planned on having balloons on the dance floor during the first dance with her groom, and had also placed disposable cameras on the tables for guests to take candid shots.  Unfortunately, somebody put out the balloons before the guests arrived.  Kate was blessed with relatives who were apparently unable or unwilling to control their children, and during the course of the evening all guests were subjected to children running wild during dinner, popping the balloons that never lasted until the first dance, and general chaos.  Finally, Kate took the microphone, asked for everyone's attention and announced that if the parents in the crowd did not take control of their children, then she would.  There was a moment of silence followed by a loud round of applause.  The rest of the evening went fairly smoothly. 

Then Kate had the film developed from her disposable cameras.  Seems the kids used them to take pics of themselves and the groom's brand new car.  Hence her visions of nice pics of family and friends during her reception were a complete loss.  One of the offending parents does not speak to Kate to this day.  Why do people think it's ok to subject others to their children's horrible behavior?  It's no wonder that some folks choose not to invite children to their weddings.

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I was working for a family business, and the boss's daughter got married. The wedding was beautiful, but I'll never forget the behavior of the ring-bearer. He had to be at least six years old, in other words, old enough to know better.   When the bride appeared, just about everyone got tears in their eyes, as is normal at weddings. Ring-bearer starts to cry as well. He probably doesn't really understand what's going on, but okay. The ceremony begins, and ring-bearer is now upset that no one is paying attention to him anymore. So he starts crying louder. He is still ignored, so he practically throws himself on the ground and starts sobbing. One of the groomsmen has had enough, and crouches down behind the ring-bearer, trying to tell him to calm down. No good. His obvious ploy for attention ended up wrecking a lot of the pictures, as most people as what's wrong with the poor kid.   Ring-bearer totally stole the attention on what was supposed to be the bride and groom's day. I should state for the record that the flower girl was even younger than the ring-bearer, yet she was perfectly behaved, with her hands neatly folded, she just stood there quietly, looking adorable.   All I could think of the ring-bearer was, what a brat!

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To start off, my wedding went absolutely wonderful except for two small problems and one of them happened to be with our ring bearer. The RB is the three and a half year old son of my husband's sister and we have known him since he was born. He had been the RB for my husband's other sister's wedding the year before and did a perfect job, though was a bit hesitant.

He being older now, I knew he would understand the importance a little more but I also wanted to be prepared for the event of a tantrum typical three year olds do, which also had become quite regular for him in the previous six months. Since both his parents were in the wedding party and would already be standing up at the front during the ceremony and that he has a strange fascination with my sister, who was my Maid Of Honor, I set it up that he would walk down the aisle with her.

My two cousins, ages 5 and 7, were the flower girls and hit it off with him at the rehearsal which gave me hope that he would behave even better with them around because they were very excited about the prospect of being flower girls in my wedding since my sister and I were the only cousins from both our fathers' sides even remotely close to their ages and spent much time with them. I hoped that their good attitudes would rub off on him.

The wedding day came and the little ring bearer looked absolutely adorable in his tiny tux. He looked a little tired like he had not had a nap for some time but he was not acting cranky. A little later he started getting a little whiny but grandma made it all better but not for long. As my dad walked me out to be ready to walk down the aisle, I hear a wailing scream and the next thing I see is the RB at the start of the aisle throwing his pillow on the ground and thrashing it around before stomping on it with his feet. Not being stupid, I had given the real rings to my best friend, the Matron of Honor, and to the Best Man so I was not too worried but the kid would not stop screaming at the top of his lungs.

My wedding coordinator then just ordered my sister to go on her own followed by my best friend and the flower girls. As the music paused to begin the wedding march all that could be heard was the RB flailing around and carrying on like a banshee just out of sight of the guests but was right next to me and my father. My aunt, the mother of the flower girls, was near us and was about ready to handle the situation when the RB almost made out to run down the aisle screaming over the top of the bagpiper we had set up but luckily my wedding coordinator body tackled him to the sidelines.

The RB was a little better behaved later on but was making screwy faces during the photography sessions following the ceremony and kept doing the opposite of what people were telling him to do. Eventually they kicked him out of the pictures altogether.

I found out later the next day that his parents had not fed him at all the entire day and it was the job of his father to see to that but for some strange reason the dad was in a stressed out hurry and "forgot." So by 4:30pm the RB had no meals at all and barely any juice let alone a nap to relax for a while. It was no wonder he acted the way he did but how was I to know his parents would be the ones to influence his behavior with something so basic a duty that all parents should take care of when I planned for all other possibilities? We laugh about it now just two weeks after the wedding but I have vowed never to let the kid live it down. We even have a picture from the wedding of me walking down the aisle and him in the background behind me flattening the pillow into the ground!

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A recent story on your site, of a reluctant little flower girl, called to mind a story of my own, involving my then-two-year-old son.  This happened in 1988, and we not only still laugh about this, but we have a hilarious picture to show all future generations that this really did happen!   My sister and her fiancé announced their engagement in fall of 1987, and immediately asked me to be MOH.  I was absolutely thrilled for both of them, and immediately accepted.  At the same time, they asked if my son, who would be two-and-a-half by the time the ceremony were to take place a year hence, would serve as ring bearer. I was a bit hesitant, as he was so little, and reminded my sister that she ought not to expect too much from him, and my sister stated that she really did not care so much about how well or even IF he performed his "duties" as ring bearer; she really just wanted her adorable and much-loved nephew to be a part of the festivities.  Good thing she is blessed with this loving attitude!   

The day of the wedding came, and my little guy looked precious in the little black short pants formal suit that my Mom had made him.  At the rehearsal, he had expressed some reluctance about "walking down the aisle," but we figured, he'd either do it or not when the time came, and we'd play it by ear.  My sister even said that if he wanted to walk down with me, that would be fine with her.  (Yes, my sister has her priorities straight, and is still very much this way today, now that she is a mom herself.)   Well, the time came, and he got "cold feet" and decided not to do that long walk!  That was fine.  But, it came MY time to go down the aisle, and he would not allow me to go!  He clung to my leg for dear life!  The photographer caught this moment, so we have this classic picture of my tearful little boy hanging on to my leg for dear life, while I gently but frantically tried to pry his fingers off so I could make my walk down.  It is priceless!  My mom's friend, who had made the flowers and acted as general "wedding coordinator" on the day of the wedding, saved the day, by whisking him out of the sanctuary into the gathering space and keeping him there till he calmed down enough to rejoin us.  Bless her heart!     That "little boy" is almost 20 years old now, and is the best kid anyone could hope to have.  Hard to believe that in a few years' time, it may be HIS wedding we will be attending.    

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My friend Patty was a BM in my wedding four years ago.  Her daughter, Priscilla, was about seven at the time.  Priscilla liked to be the center of attention and was going through a bratty stage that lasted about five years.  When Priscilla found out that her mother was to be a BM, she cried and cried because she wanted to be a flower girl.  I had already given the job to a girl from my family.  Priscilla took center stage at my shower and made it her job to entertain my guests.

Comes the day of the wedding and we are in the church having pictures made prior to the ceremony.  Patty had instructed Priscilla’s father to bring her just before the wedding, so that she could hang out with us as we got ready, I suppose.  Priscilla walked into the church weeping and it went downhill from there.  We tried to include her in the photos but she had herself so worked up that she couldn’t stop crying.  I tried to call her over to me so that I could try to talk to her and soothe her, but she screamed “NO!”  Eventually Patty took her into the hall and spanked her.

At the end of the ceremony as my husband and I were walking up the isle Priscilla ran into the isle to hug us both.  Luckily she was toward the back of the church.  The worst was when we were being announced at our reception.  Immortalized on our wedding video are my husband and I walking out as we are being announced as Mr. and Mrs. for the first time.  As we start to walk out Priscilla is next to us, trying to take my other hand.  I pull away but she inserts her hand into the crook of my arm.  When we arrive in the middle of the dance floor and face our guests, who are all clapping and cheering for us, I hand Priscilla my bouquet to keep her occupied and get her off my back.  A few seconds later she is trying to hand it back, using it to smack me on the butt to try to get my attention!

I am now expecting my first child.  I’ve learned all too well that not every event is for children, and that if they do attend they are to understand that not everything is about them!  I’m already scoping out babysitters…

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Page Last Updated May 15, 2007