Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jul-Dec 2000 Archive
My fiance and I had just moved to a new state, and
we were staying with my niece who lived next door to my sister. We were looking for an
apartment and jobs, and had planned just a quick trip to a justice of the peace to tie the
knot. My sister said "Oh, I'll give you a nice wedding at my house."
She planned it, decided what food to serve, bought some flowers and a small sheet cake.
I had no say in the matter but then I thought, " Oh well, she's paying for it so I'll
let her take control." She then presents us with the bill for everything. To
this day she tells everyone how she "gave" us a wedding out of the goodness of
her heart. tacky0701-00
The ceremony itself was the most uncomfortable I have ever
attended. The most horrifying moment came when the
bride "surprised" her groom by singing to him in the middle of the
ceremony. I suppose she did this because he was in the glee club during college
and thought to impress him. Anyway, she had pre-taped the music with herself singing
(she taped herself singing in case she couldn't make it through during the live
performance) and than sang along with her head bowed, crying through the whole
thing. The poor groom had to stand there holding both her hands while looking at the
top of her head. Yes, the singing was horrible. I know I was left squirming in
my seat from embarrassment. The whole ceremony seemed to be an attempt to wring
tears out of everyone attending. I was left more dry eyed than any other
wedding I've been to. tacky0701-00
The worst part of all, though, was that the women were allowed to go into the house to
use the restroom, but the men were supposed to go to a field behind the house! There
was even a sign near the dance tent that said "MEN" and was pointing to the
field!!! We didn't stay for long and wound up stopping for Thai on the way
home. So here we were, out of $135, not to mention the money spent on gas, eating
Thai because we were starved from not eating at the reception. But all in all, I'm
thinking that it's nice that we went.
Well, the clincher comes about 3 months later when I'm starting to wonder if they got
our gift because I haven't received a thank you note. I ask the groom if he received
our present, and he says "Oh yeah. By the way, what's your email
address?" Two day later I receive - you guessed it - an email card
thanking me for the gift. So here I am out of $135, gas, and lost time I could have
used to plan my own wedding, and I get a lousy email card to thank me! The bride
later had the gall to ask me if I got the card and then gripe because she had 197
thank-yous to write when she got back from the honeymoon. Needless to say, I had a
hard time feeling sorry for her, and will definitely be doing things differently at my own
My college roomate decided to get married at the last minute to his girlfriend who was
on the brink of being deported. Ignoring the fact that he constantly spoke badly of her
and slept around, I suspected part of the reason he was doing this was to shore up
his student loans and to get a quick cash infusion which a wedding often brings.
The only invitation I received was a telephone call. After asking him if his wife was
to move to our town he said that she would remain in Toronto because "she had a
really high paying job". As she was a refugee, I began to suspect what
that "high paying job" was. (stripper or prostitute).
As it was a civil ceremony I was only invited to the reception at his mother's house, I
was suprised to see that dinner consisted of a series of submarine sandwiches cut up into
little pieces from the local Subway. While I was not very late I discovered by the time I
arrived that all the food was gone. All that was left was some rubber cheese on a platter
prepared 3 days earlier.
About the bride... Her 6 inch stilletto's gave it away, she stripped at a local bar.
The drinks consisted of a series of 60 ounce bottles stacked on a coffee table by the
door. Unfortunately they were surrounded by the grooms drug dealing friends, pagers and
all, discussing the various prisons they spent time in. Needless to say most people were
shy about getting a drink. I left as soon as it was polite to do so.
As a gift we gave the couple a voucher for a very nice meal at a very nice hotel. While
using the voucher 3 weeks later his wife informed him that she had fallen in love with the
women in her lesbian act and that she now preferred women to men. In the end this moron
spent the next two years paying lawyers to help him deport his then ex-wife as he was on
the hook for supporting her for the next 10 years according to the Immigration Department.
This was 8 years ago, but I still laugh about it with friends to this day.
Where do I start. I was married last year in July. First off, I had only 3
months to work with my mother in pulling this off as he wanted to get married quickly and
we didn't have a big budget but wanted to have it look nice. We had a very small
private ceremony outside in a park. The kicker? It rained on us on the
way. No big deal right? Well, it wouldn't have been except that my husband had
his heart set on all of the groomsmen/bridesmaids etc. ride their motorcycles (mostly
Harleys) so we did. I looked absolutely ridiculous wrapped up in a rainsuit
over my gown.
It stopped raining by the time we arrived at the park, but we got eaten alive by
mosquitos during the ceremony so everyone was hopping around swatting them during the
whole thing. When we left, the sun came out and we decided to take a long roundabout
tour through several towns on the way to the reception. Downtown in a very busy
tourist town the Harley we were on died in the middle of traffic. I had to walk
across 4 lanes during rushhour in 4 inch heels!! We got to the reception, things
went well there. My husband decided he wanted to keep the reception going longer so
he sent me to check us in at our hotel. I took my MOH and friend and went.
After we checked in, the vehicle died at the end of the driveway. Luckily the owner
of the hotel let us borrow her brand new van. I got back to reception nearly in
tears to collect my husband only to find out that the DJ refused to wait for me to get
back and went ahead with the last dance without the bride!!! I collected my husband,
than realized I had sent my dad ahead to collect his vehicle that had died and had left
our clothes and the lingerie in the backseat!! We had no clothes for the next day,
no car, and no lingerie. What a mess. To make things worse my mother was in
tears thinking that she had somehow ruined my wedding!! Oh my God. If I ever
have to go through that again I will die. It was not a bad wedding after all.
The food was great, the deco was lovely, the cake was gorgeous and the pictures turned out
wonderful. What a day to remember!! tacky0824-00
Note from the Webmistress: Riding a
motorcycle with a
wedding dress is beyond tacky, it's dangerous as there have been incidents of the bride's
gown becoming entangled in the wheel causing serious injury and death. Secondly,
don't think for a minute that taking a roundabout tour of several towns on the way
to the reception is an acceptable usage of your time between the ceremony and reception.
It is never polite to keep your guests waiting for you while you go
Kelly and I had been living together for a few
months before we got married (this was generally known and accepted - no problem
<smile>), but financially we still weren't doing all that well. The area where we
had the biggest problem was our car. It ran OK, but when the weather got rainy, it went on
Now, I had met Kelly's mother a few months before, but it was at the rehearsal that I
met her father and her brother (the brother I shall dub "Zeke," for self-defense
purposes). We asked Zeke to be one of our ushers, and we willingly covered the tux rental
for him -- he was broker than we were, which was saying something!
Well, our outdoor wedding went off great, after which we began migrating for the
rehearsal site. Our wedding party had surprised us with a limo in which to ride to the
reception, and my new in-laws were kind enough to drive our car to the reception.
Enroute to the reception it started raining. Hard. By the time we got to the reception
some guy had opened up the door of a huge boat and was leading in pairs of animals.
Kelly and I got into the church for the reception, and the guests in various stages of
saturation filed in. Everyone was in good spirits about it, though -- both of our families
pretty much embrace the "if life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours!"
philosophy. Finally, Kelly's parents and her brother made it in... riding in someone
else's car, because, sure enough, our car decided to have an allergic fit from the rain.
Okay, so everyone's finally there, we can get going with things. Well and good.
Everyone proceeds to have a good time, when Kelly's brother talks to another member of the
wedding party and disappears. About half an hour later they return... and Zeke is driving
our car. We were delighted until my new brother-in-law exited the driver's seat. It seemed
that when Zeke went under the hood of our car to try to fix it, he hadn't bothered
changing clothes. His dove-gray tux had engine grime all over it... and he didn't see
anything wrong about it!
It wasn't funny at the time, but 13 years later, Kelly and I still chuckle about it
when we reminisce, and we hope to keep doing so 103 years from now!
Maura and "Tim's" wedding could not have
been more carelessly planned. They left six hours between the wedding ceremony and the
reception, and planned it at a busy weekend resort, which had no vacancies for the wedding
guests, who were encouraged to stay at a Holiday Inn 45 minutes away. Because it was the
local university's homecoming weekend, the parking lot at the "resort" was full
and we had to park one half mile away on a football field.
When we arrived, we were handed our "favor", a pasta fork with the $1.99 tag
attached (which had been crossed over and marked .99). When we went to order two glasses
of wine, we were "warned" by the bartender that only if we wanted to feel like
crap (his elegant words) the next day, he didn't advise it. For good measure, he pulled up
the box (yes, the cardboard box of wine) to prove it. When we asked for something
different, he said the only mixer he had was for Fuzzy Navels. Spying two bottles of beer,
we asked for those as they seemed the safest bet. Needless to say, the night went downhill
The hot dinner was ice cold and inedible. The bathrooms were filthy and some were
unusable. No one danced as the band - and not a good band, as you can imagine - was in
another separate room and both rooms were ice cold. The bride spent the evening telling
everyone how easy it had been to "plan" this event, as she just re-used all of
her sister's wedding plans from the year before (meaning she KNEW how bad the place was
but couldn't have cared less).
The bride's mother walked around tapping people saying, "I want to see YOU on the
dance floor". I wanted to add that she would see us on the dance floor. On our way to
the parking lot. But didn't. tacky0629-00