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Recently, I attended the wedding of a girl I've known for years who often leans toward the tacky. Even though she has very few friends, she insisted on having a huge wedding, about 350 people, some of whom she barely knew. As you can imagine, it was a circus. The buffet was already gone by the time we arrived at the reception, which left only the beer and wine for the guests. There was no liquor being served, which was fine, but as my husband and I were standing at the bar, we heard a groomsman order a Canadian Club on the rocks (the groom was Canadian). The bartender pulled a bottle out from under the table and served him, no questions asked. My husband was tired of drinking beer and ordered the same. "Sorry," replied the bartender, "but the Canadian Club is only for the groom's close friends and family." I guess you had to show your Canadian passport before being served. It could have been one of the tackiest things I've ever seen.     Tacky0205-02

I know that regifts are a common story on your site, but I feel that this one wins the prize.

My husband and I are both in a small medical school class (65 people/year). There isn't a lot of time and not ever enough money, but everyone gets to know each other and we throw wedding and baby showers for everyone. One of the girls in our class had a lingerie shower before my husband and I were to get married. I went and spent several hours that I didn't have searching the malls for an appropriate present for this girl (no sizes were given and she is one of those people that are very difficult to fit). When I got to her shower I was told to address an envelope so "E" could write her thank you easier. I was given the advice to use this idea when I had my own, upcoming shower. No thank you, my mama raised me right. But that wasn't the worst of it.

My turn for the lingerie shower rolls around. Not everyone came but some sent gifts, "E" sent her gift. It was a nice set of Pyrex dishes. Not something for the honeymoon, but still see-through. I didn't care if I got panties and the like, after all, my fiancé and I had been dating for seven years, not much was left to the imagination, but we really did need the Pyrex. I thought it odd, since her shower was a lingerie shower and she made fun of the "non-naughty" presents that she was given (only one set of relationship books, including a massage book).

Later that week during a classroom break I went to the restroom. While in the stall I overheard the group waiting in line. Someone asked "E" if she had gone to my shower. "E" said "no, I just gave her some leftover Pyrex from our wedding."

I didn't care that I got Pyrex instead of a see-through bikini, that was fine. I didn't care if I got a few regifts from people, money is tight and I understand about duplicate gifts and how hard some places are at returning items, and I did get a few more recycled presents. But what really made me want to sit down and laugh until I cried was the fact that hear I was in the bathroom and she was bragging about how she didn't have time to get me a present so she just regifted. Aren't we all in school and have the same schedule? Couldn't she have just said I gave them a set of Pyrex dishes? And didn't she know not to ever talk where she could be overheard. She went into a stall and I came out of mine. I have never heard a woman's bathroom that quiet before. I don't think that she realizes how incredibly tacky she is.


I used to work in a department store in the China/Crystal/gift gallery section. We usually handled about 2-3 brides bringing back gifts every Saturday. Usually we would just open the box make sure the item inside was returnable, and was what was actually on the box. Usually it was gifts the couple received more than they needed.

I was in charge of merchandising the Silver floor, making sure all the items were on the floor and were out and open for inspection. We went through a lot of silver picture frames, we also got a lot of them back. One day I was restocking the floor and I saw that some one had sold the display of one of the frames so I went to the stock room and found a box that had the outer layer torn (obvious return). When I pulled the frame out there was an old picture of a couple getting married, a real picture not the copy they put in at the factory. I took it out anyway, thinking the picture added class to the display instead of the made up pictures around it. Over the next couple of weeks several customers made comments about how nice it looked and wondered if it was someone in the departments family. I always told the truth, I didn't know who it was, it was a return that showed up one day. Apparently the bride never bothered to look in the box at the frame.

About a month after I put up the frame an elderly lady came into the department with her daughter. They were browsing around and the older lady recognized the picture. It was her wedding picture, she had bought the frame and put a picture of her wedding to give to her granddaughter (her shopping companion that day). Mom was mortified, Grand mom was hurt and HIGHLY ticked off at her granddaughter. I took the picture out of the frame and they left to go and "talk" to the bride.  Tacky0222-02

First, I will go back about 5 years to my own wedding when I thoughtfully had my future SIL as one of my bridesmaids. The entire two days before the wedding, she constantly griped about the hose (a light gray that matched the dresses) until my FIL told her to shut up. I kept quiet the entire time and let the matter blow over. But there is also the matter of the night before the wedding at the dress rehearsal - she gets into a major fight with my MIL and cries and cries until she attracts some attention from her father and others. You get the picture.

Now, it is years later, and my SIL meets someone, lets him move in with her three months later and that same month they become engaged (of course, the wedding is pending him surviving an organ transplant that same year), As soon as she tells us about the engagement, she asks me to be a bridesmaid. I accept, of course. After all, we had been pretty close over the years. We usually talked on the phone, long distance, 5 or 6 times a week, and I had been one of her major supporters and encouragers over her past failed relationships, jobs, etc. Why wouldn't I want to be in her wedding?

During the next couple of months, everything appeared normal. My husband and I went to her house for a holiday, and I looked at the various dresses she liked. I kept my mouth shut when she showed me that she wanted her attendants to wear silver (platinum) dresses in the middle of June. I figured she was the bride, and I would go along with whatever she wanted. A couple more months go by, and I am surfing one morning on the internet and decide to look at her wedding website. On her details about the wedding page, she had her MOH and BM on it and her future husband had his groomsmen. We had talked about the page in the past, relating to whom I would walk down the aisle with at the wedding. Anyway, under her bridesmaids where my name used to be, she had replaced it with her new next door neighbor whom she had either not known when she became engaged or barely knew. I was shocked, of course, and thought there must me some mistake that she would correct later. I immediately stopped talking to her, and she did not make much effort to contact us on her end for a few months, either.

When she did start trying to talk with us again, it was too late, and I had nothing to say to her. My husband made it clear what his terms were, and she never met them (apologizing, giving some credible explanation). She has lied to him and others about it, but has not really told the entire story to family members. I'm better off now, but the sad part for her is that the marriage never happened. It was called off after the invitations were sent out due to the groom having other close female friends. He got married to another girlfriend on what was suppose to be their honeymoon.Tacky0209-02

My boyfriend's 17 year old cousin recently had to have a shotgun wedding. One of the groomsmen backed out at the last minute, so my boyfriend was asked to fill in. A few nights before the wedding, the couple invited us out with them for a chance for my boyfriend to get to know the groom. We went to bar, where the five months pregnant bride to be proceeded to get drunk and smoke cigarettes. On the way back from the bar, neither the bride nor the groom could give us adequate directions, since they were both so drunk. They got in a screaming match in the back seat of my car, yelling things at each other that you should never say to ANYONE, especially not the person you are to marry in two days.

On the way to the wedding, I had to drive alone since my boyfriend was in the limo with the groom's party (where the groom was smoking marijuana the whole time). No one considered the fact that I was following their car, or that I did not know the area too well. I ended up getting lost for 2 hours and sitting in my car crying. Finally I arrived at the hall (if you could call it a hall) just in time to see the dysfunctional couple exchange vows. The groom was giggling like a fifth grader in sex ed class. It was just too much. To top it all off, there was actually a pool going around to bet on how long it would be before they got divorced. Good thing I didn't waste any money on the event!    Tacky0220-02

A couple of summers ago my young cousin . . . we'll call him Tony . . . married his young sweetheart . . . as they were many years younger than I . . . 20-ish to my 40-ish . . . we didn't really socialize in the same circles and so I really didn't know much about their pre-wedding problems . . . still don't in fact and probably best left that way . . . it seemed though that they were determined to let us all know on the day of their wedding . . . after the ceremony . . . a long affair as it was conducted in both English and Italian and was a full Catholic High Mass . . . Tony stepped up to the pulpit . . . something not usually done in the Catholic church . . . and with his new bride's hand firmly in his proceeded to tell off all those "who said we shouldn't get married" . . . raising his / their arms in the air in a gesture of defiance saying "we showed you, didn't' we?" . . . the church was deathly silent as he stepped down still waving his arms in "triumph" . .  tacky0404-02

It's the afternoon of my own wedding, and I'm arriving separately from my bride. Our church is a lovely Episcopal church that looks like a Gothic English castle from the outside, with a large, grassy courtyard and elegant grounds. As I drive in, I see a pair of black limousines parked in front and a full bridal party in the courtyard, posing for pictures. The bride has a dress with a huge veil and train, her groom in a tuxedo, the groomsmen, bridesmaids, and parents of the couple all elegantly turned out, posing for the photographer. Hmm, I think: I didn't know there was another wedding going on today.

I park and go to the courtyard to find my own photographer pacing and fuming mad, because he's ready to set up for his pictures and this party won't let him. I tell him I'll talk to the custodial staff and see what we can do to move things along. The custodial staff tell me that this other party of about 18 souls isn't getting married at our church today ... or ever. They're just using it as a free backdrop. I've seen people posing for wedding pictures in elegant surroundings before, like a large public garden, where the wedding obviously did NOT take place. And I've seen people pose in the church where they were married. But I've never seen people pose for formal wedding pictures at a church where they were NOT getting married!

The custodians don't seem to want to break things up, but this is MY day, I have a wedding to attend to and an expensive photographer on the clock, so I walk up to the faux wedding party and pleasantly tell the photographer that they've got to move, because *the real wedding* needs to take pictures now. I am roundly ignored, so I up the ante and walk directly in front of the lens and tell the "bridal party" that we're getting married here, we need the space, and they have to move. The bride's mother smiles, takes me aside and engages me in conversation, which I see is an attempt at distraction as the bootleg photographer is quickly posing people and snapping shots. I finally lose my cool, break away from Mom, step in front of the photog, and wave my hands and tell everyone that they have to leave ... NOW! They all make off for their hired limousines. The bride's mother salutes me with one finger. Nice. Later, as we're posing for our pictures, I see that they've snuck back, but they're trying to hide around a corner -- at one point stuffing the entire 18-member wedding party against a tiny section of wall where they think we can't see them. I'm sure they have precious memories attached to their wedding album .. tacky0413-02

What an amazing web site! I may lose my job because I just can't look away. God Bless You!! I have a Smother of the Bride story. My husband and I were engaged in February of 1995. At the time there was no source within either family nor our home (we were living together) for a traditional wedding. I got down to business (I'm a project manager by trade) and started trying to figure out how I could have a complete, inclusive, and lovely wedding with no money, as we were all fallen WASPs of modest means on my side, and my fiancé was one of two surviving members of his family. After my mother told my sister behind my back that she could plan my wedding in six weeks (my stepsister was married in our back yard and the food at the reception was two deli platters from the supermarket complemented by a galvanized tub full of iced canned beer and Sprite - really, they spared no expense.....) and cited my concern with and attention to detail as ridiculous (geez, it's only my wedding, you know), and anticipating an inevitable Hostile Takeover by my mother (she's a director of community theater - hopefully I need not say more), I started thinking outside the box and wondering about alternate plans that would take me out of Mom's Vortex of Mediocrity and Control. One night, sitting on the sofa watching a rerun of "Vegas", I turned to my fiancé and said "you know, we should go to Las Vegas for Christmas" which he liked, and then I said "while we're there we should get married and just have it all done with," which elicited EYE CONTACT from him (totally unprecedented in a wedding conversation) and an enthusiastic "you wanna?!" That settled it. We were pleased as could be with the arrangement, and since within our circle of friends it was not uncommon for couples to elope to Las Vegas, we knew there would be no offense taken. Our families were really great about it, too, and greeted our announcement with enthusiastic support and genuine gladness for us. Except Mom. She told me every day leading up to the wedding that she was spontaneously bursting into tears on a daily basis. She also said that by eloping we forfeited the right to expect wedding gifts, so I shouldn't bother to register anywhere (which may be true, I don't know, but was announced like a Divine Punishment). The day we were married it was all about her. She told me about how she was going to be OK, even though she cried herself to sleep last night. Oh, and congratulations. "I really will be fine, honey, don't worry about me, (weak voice) I'm very happy for you both." Apparently not, though. The very pinnacle of her passive aggression was reached when, a few days short of our first anniversary, she gave us our wedding present. It was an electric wok. Which had been a gift to her for house-sitting for friends. Before we were married. And was previously used by her and re-taped up in the box. With the same, used tape. I wish I could say we were appalled, but it was so very in character that we had a good chuckle. Then we washed the wok.


I'm getting married this spring, and recently received a gift from one of my oldest friends from college (we roomed together for about 5 years). This girl is and always has been cheap, even though her parents are multi- millionaires and she herself makes twice as much money as I do. Plus, she was raised a Dallas debutante, a socialite. Translation: she should know better. Anyway, she sent me two sets of drinking glasses from my registry. Each set was $30 and contained four glasses. For her, this was a pretty generous gift and I immediately sent her a thank-you note for two sets. Two weeks later, the store where they were purchased called to tell me that she had made a mistake and only meant to send me one set, and had REQUESTED A PICK-UP FOR THE OTHER SET SO THEY COULD CREDIT HER ACCOUNT. I told them I had been drinking out of the glasses for two weeks!!! Just goes to show, all the money and best education in the world can't buy you class.      Tacky0425-02

This is a not so sweet etiquette-less story. My husband and I were recently married in a small Justice of the Peace ceremony before he was shipped overseas with the military. We announced our marriage, but explained that we would not be having a large ceremony right now in light of the situation (I am in the process of planning the large ceremony for when he comes back home). My cousin insists on having a small going away/congratulations pitch-in for us "to show us we are supported and loved".  Though my husband and I didn't want to make a big to-do over our marriage (so as not to overshadow the formal event when he comes home) we agreed to this dinner because we knew it was a thoughtful gesture on her part. Though my cousin (and my father's entire side of the family) is notorious for being, shall we say, "frugal" to the point of obscenity, and not always aware of proper etiquette, for some reason I was not worried about the outcome of the day. My husband's family, my father's side of the family (my parents are divorced) and my mother and her husband were invited by my cousin (we weren't really consulted on who would be invited). We were told to be there at 2.

When my husband and I arrive, not only are we the only ones there (at 2 o'clock sharp), but my cousin has no food out, and is not even dressed. I was informed that my father (who arrived shortly thereafter) would be bringing the main course and a cake he had made for us, and my aunts would be supplying all of the rest of the food. My aunts don't arrive until 5 o'clock. Everyone there is starving, including my husband's family, whom have never met any of my family. Then, a close friend of my cousin's arrives with her son and her boyfriend and his son. She doesn't even remember my name. She, and her entourage proceed to eat all of the food (prepared and brought in my and my husband's honor), and said hardly two words to me, nor did she introduce me to her boyfriend.

Well, it's about 6 o'clock now, and everyone is starting to leave. My cousin hastily removes all the food that was brought by my family, and starts to break down the tables and chairs that were set out on the lawn. We took this as our signal to leave, and my husband and I walked around thanking everyone for coming and for sharing the day with us (though we hadn't planned it or really been involved in it's execution, or even wanted it for that matter). Traditionally, in my family, for pitch-in's everyone is entitled to take the left-overs home if the preparer doesn't want all of it, it's actually encouraged. That didn't happen, in this case however, because my cousin had already packed up all the food, none of which she made or contributed to herself. This included the cake my father had made for us, with the words "Congratulations, X and Y (my and my husbands name). When I went in to inquire about the cake, my cousin tells me all the food was eaten and there was no more left. I thought it was strange, but, OK, my family are big eaters. Then she stops and thinks, and says, "well wait, there is some stuff left, but I was going to use it to feed the people that were coming over tonight" (she was having a party for the fight that night, and charging people money to get in to her house to watch a fight and eat food from my leftover reception!) She proceeds to open up her refrigerator, and every shelf was full of packed away food from the pitch-in! She did have the graciousness, however, to "let" me have my cake! The dinner she insisted on having turned out to be a food-getting ploy for the party she was having later that night! Not surprising, just tacky. I sent her a thank-you note anyway.     Tacky0620-02

I was friends with "Nancy" all throughout childhood and highschool. After highschool we sort of lost touch. But then she began to email me and we became friendly again, although nothing like before. We met for coffee occasionally and I stopped by every once in awhile. Well, then I found out that she had gotten engaged to a mutual friend of ours in high school. I was thrilled for them! We met for coffee and she showed me her beautiful ring and talked about all her wedding plans. I assumed because of all this detail that I would be invited. I decided to get them a beautiful hand embroidered tablecloth on my trip to Portugal for their new dining room set. I called Nancy to tell her that I wanted to give her a table cloth, hand embroidered which I had bought in Europe, so we scheduled to meet. At the last minute, while I was already in the coffee shop waiting she called to tell me that she had made other plans. So I said, okay, some other time, but that I wanted to give her this gift.

Well, the wedding invitation time came and went and I received no invitation. Then, I finally managed to get a hold of her (after leaving various messages) a week before the wedding, me having called her. She mentioned something about me coming to the wedding and said, "You didn't receive an invitation?" Please! Needless to say I didn't go. I was not going to take a word only invite, and besides I had made previous plans because I was unsure when the wedding was exactly and since she hadn't called I had no idea!

The worst is yet to come. After the honeymoon time, I continued to call saying that I really wanted to deliver this gift I had purchased. No response. Until a couple of months later, which coincided with my college graduation which I had casually mentioned to her on the phone before. On my doorstep she had left a "Congratulations" note with a gift. When I opened the gift, it was the tackiest clock you had ever seen, something that neither I nor she would like. It was obvious to me that she had received it as a wedding gift from some random person and was trying to get rid of it, and maybe exchange it for the lovely tablecloth, which by then was packed away in my attic!!      Tacky0315-02

My best friend got married in October 2000, I was asked to be a bridesmaid at the wedding (I accepted) and I finally got to meet her IL's from HELL!!!! Although her future MIL and SIL did MANY tacky things before, during and after the ceremony by far the worst was the dress that was chosen by the bride's future MIL. A floor length beaded gown, in white!!!!!!!! NO JOKE!!!!!!!!!


My sister got married for the third time about 5 years ago I found out when I received a hand written invitation on the door of my apartment, one week in advance. I was unable to get off work, and frankly don't particularly care for my sister or her lifestyle. My father went to the wedding and this is his description. My mom and stepdad owned a convenience store and since they sell lottery tickets, they could not close the store, so the wedding was held in the store at 2pm on a Saturday afternoon (in front of the milk cooler). My sister wore a tiered tulle and satin white wedding dress (did I mention she was 8 months pregnant with her 4th child) and the groom and best man wore morning suits. To top it all off, they didn't even CLOSE THE STORE for the 10 minute ceremony, my mom sat behind the cash register selling beer and gas all through the ceremony.      Tacky0514-02

My friend's step sister was getting married and he was worried that a gift certificate from "super store" was a tacky gift. I told him I thought it would be nice. The wedding was in a church WAY out in the suburbs, down a dirt road. The church had assembled rows of chairs for the guests, no pews or benches. The wedding and reception were pretty uneventful. When the bride changed into her going away dress I was shocked. It was a beautiful royal blue. But, it was strapless, leather, miniskirt that laced up the back. Truly something from one of those "catalogs." She wore no jacket and even enjoyed showing off the large tattoo on the back of her shoulder. She and the groom, in leather pants left on a motorcycle. I told my friend, I couldn't think of any present to tacky for this couple.     Tacky 1228-02

I'll tell you what. I don't claim to be perfect, but I am about to be in a wedding from Dante's ninth circle of hell. The bride, let's call her Elvira, is someone that I don't know very well, and we are not friends. I am more of a friend of the groom, let's call him Saint Peter (for what he puts up with). Saint Peter and my husband Bob have known each other for many years--since grade school and have been good friends. Two years ago Saint Peter began to date Elvira. Last year in the summer of 2001, we started to invite Elvira and Saint Peter over to our house more often for dinner, so we could get to know her a little better. At the time, I was just off crutches after seven weeks, and my mother and I had been out running errands.

When my mom and I arrived at my house, I brought her in so she could meet Elvira. My mom met her and then left. After she left, Elvira remarked, "Wow. You look nothing like your mom...she's so tiny." This infuriated me because she said this right to my face, and we were having her over for dinner and I've been nothing but nice to her. Now, mind you, I am a size 16, but I do not think that she had to make that comment. I didn't say anything to her at the time, but I was upset.

Later in the evening, she proceeded to tell me how small she thought our kitchen was and said that I was basically shallow for enjoying the show "Survivor" on television. The blood was beginning to boil, and I consider myself a friendly, easy going person. I wasn't sure where these comments were coming from considering I had always been nice to her. Since then, she's made some derogatory comments about my weight that I have not appreciated, since they only made me feel badly about myself. I was also angry at myself for letting her get the best of me.

Earlier this year (March?) I think, Saint Peter and Elvira asked both me and my husband to be in the wedding which is taking place this December. I only said yes because I think Saint Peter is a great guy, and I'm doing this for him. Then I woke up and smelled the coffee. I told myself that if I was going to be in the wedding, then she was going to treat me like a human being! I wrote her a long letter telling her what she had done and that I was not going to be in the wedding until she could act like a person with some measure of tact. (She's also said some tactless and thoughtless things to other members of our circle of friends). She ended up apologizing but since then, she's embarrassed me twice in front of a group of people.

First, she told one of my friends that I started out not liking her for no reason. I had to do damage control and tell this friend why I wasn't one of Elvira's friends. Luckily, my other friend did not have a good impression of Elvira and believed that I wasn't being a witch. Secondly, at her shower just last month, she neglected to introduce me to her mother. Fortunately, she did introduce her brother-in-law. I was sitting right next to him at the end of the shower, but she did not introduce me. I just assumed she was embarrassed. After all, I am only in the wedding party. Elvira has no female friends. Her side of the bridal party consists of me, her sister, her sister-in-law, Saint Peter's sister, and her brother. She has virtually alienated all of Saint Peter's friends and family. Her other sister-in-law (Saint Peter's wife) somehow convinced me to have a bachelorette party for her, which will take place next weekend. Wish me luck, everyone! I keep telling myself that if she says anything negative to me in the coming weeks before the wedding, I can still back out--after the expensive dress, the hard to find shoes, the gifts, the party, etc. I'll just have to convince myself that I can wear it somewhere else. Thanks for reading my story, and I hope she behaves!    Tacky 1122-02

This wedding was horrid from invitation to reception.

My friend *Holly*, three other girls, and I had been the best friends through high school. Since then (all four years) Holly had been going to Christian schools out of the state. We didn't really keep in touch during the summer or holidays when she would come back and ignore any friends who weren't Christian.

Holly had always been a little naive since her father was a pastor and had brought them up in a 50's style household. I was surprised to hear through my friend *Izzy* that she was engaged (She broke up with her first boyfriend of 1 1/2 yrs six months earlier). Apparently the day after telling her current boyfriend she was happy with the way things were and didn't want them to change he popped the question. I guess since the diamond was "the biggest she'd seen in her life" it was ok. The child-bride had her mother plan the wedding since she was not in that state and "didn't really care!"

I'm just going to go over the highlights from here on. She mass e-invited me two months prior. Then preceded to call me a month before and ask me to allow about 5 of her fiancé's friends from Sweden I'd never met to stay at my parents house in our hometown. I was invited to her fourth shower and expected to buy her dinner and a gift the day of, which was a Wednesday.

The day of the ceremony arrives it starts a little late no big deal until her father (a former preacher due to unscrupulous behavior) starts lecturing the bride and groom on their marriage duties. Holly apparently is by God meant to be the "helpmate" and "follower" of her husband the "leader" and "director" of the family unit. I wonder why he didn't lecture on fidelity... He repeats the shpeal over and over alluding to how happy he and her mother are to hand her over to the groom. First blatantly sexist wedding I'd ever been to...

There is nothing tacky or a faux pas about wedding vows which reflect the happy couple's religious beliefs.  Get over it.

The reception was held in a tiny room decorated with white crepe paper and crepe bells. No room for all the people so we ended up outside on a windy little steel deck although we missed the toasts (Made with Martinelli's for the bridal party only) eating the hoagie and mints served since we were famished (wedding at noon, reception at 2). After eating we tried to salvage some reception by dancing. There was no DJ but a small stereo where bridesmaids kept putting lurid rap in(how Christian is that???) and then dancing in a giant circle that kept everyone else off the dance floor... The creepy father of the bride was also circling the room this whole time glaring at us. We finally just left after barely speaking to the bride. It's been a few months and I haven't heard from her. I'm just glad I didn't over spend on her gift or take in her Swedish friends.     Tacky 1104-02

When my husband and I got married we received an antique cup as a gift from his brother and his wife. It was lovely. We displayed it in our home on a bookshelf.

A year or so later my brother-in-law came to visit my husband. I was not home that evening. Some time later I realized that the cup was missing. Upon questioning my husband, he informed me that his brother took it back because it had a pencil in it. He claimed that we clearly didn't appreciate it therefore, we couldn't have it any longer.

For 12 years now I still see the cup when I visit THEIR house. They never offered it back or offered to replace the gift!     Tacky 1018-02

My sister insisted tooth and nail she wasn't going to have a "big thing" when she got married. She and her attorney husband were just going to tie the knot at city hall or some place, with maybe one friend and my mother. We were kind of surprised (we were a fairly close family, it's not like there was ever any rift) but it's her day, so okay, fine. But the guest list grew and grew; my aunt and grandmother joined the guest list, as did every last member of their firm (sis and hubby worked together) and even some of the employees' friends. (There were guests there Sissy didn't even know.) It became such a big crowd that it supposedly "spilled over" into the ballroom of a really swank downtown hotel, supposedly at the last minute. (I'm guessing the large cake and the champagne fountain were picked up at Wal-Mart on the way or something.)

The eventually big wedding went off without a hitch and without the presence of the bride's siblings, who found out how big the wedding was when sis/bride gave a picture of the happy couple slicing the wedding cake, as a Christmas present to Mom, several months later. (The happy couple were too well dressed for a trip to the probate judge's office, that's for sure.) On the plus side, the siblings weren't invited to the divorce, either, or the hubby's several extramarital affairs, so it all evens out. A beautiful step-by-step "how-to" on how not to get on the good side of new in-laws.     Tacky 1025-02

A dear friend from college was getting married three months before my own wedding. As we had all just graduated, it was a financial strain on my fiancé and I simply to attend (it was in a different state), not to mention that I was a bridesmaid. The bride had a habit of exaggerating, and I had spent several months listening to her glowing description of the wonderful reception they were to have. My fiancé and I were staying at a friend's house, and didn't bother to eat much the day of the wedding because we were short on time and had been assured of the excellent quality of the reception food (you can see where this is going).

After the lovely ceremony, we had a half hour drive to the reception hall, where we were eventually served - a plate with a turkey croissant sandwich and a few slices of fruit. He and I were separated, as he was not in the party and I was told I had to sit at the head table, so we were able to only occasionally mingle and plot our path to nutrition after the event finished. However, they had much in store for the evening. The first order of business was dancing. The second dance was the bridal party dance, which we had not been informed of ahead of time. Given the fact that several in the party belonged to a religious denomination that eschews dancing, we were unprepared to say the least. Not that it was offensive, but we did look rather ridiculous trying to dance without having practiced first.

Eventually, (as our bodies were screaming for food), the couple decided to open their gifts. As part of the party, I had to stay. They spent about an hour opening the "big" gifts from their families, the ones they knew about. Then, a few designated cousins went about ripping into the lesser gifts and recording the information on a notepad. We were horrified. We had chosen to give the couple money, knowing how much they needed it, but tried to be creative about it and hid the money in a pack of cards with a note hinting as to the contents. Of course, said cousins tossed the note in the trash with the wrapping paper (also carefully chosen) and simply recorded "pack of cards" as our gift. The thank-you note we later received was chilly, to say the least. For our wedding, they gave us an obviously recycled picture frame from their wedding. We responded with a note thanking them for the lovely frame, and by the way we hoped they eventually found the money in the cards we gave them, but never heard back.    Tacky 1016-02

My husband's family could not be called "refined." Actually, the words "rednecks" and "hillbillies" come to mind. However, there are a few of them who think they're quite posh. Here's a story of tackiness like I've never seen in my life: My husband's family (somehow) gets invited to a wedding at a very upscale mansion in a fabulous neighborhood, with the reception being thrown at no less than one of our state's finer country clubs. His folks (I'll call them The 'Bushys') ask if we could all go together since it's such a long trek. So, my husband, myself, his two sisters and his mother drive to the aforementioned mansion (which I knew was a mistake, but to keep peace, and thinking we could mingle with others in such a huge place, I agreed.) We were going by their instruction, and they insisted that we were to be at the Wedding Mansion by 4:00 p.m.

By the time we arrived, everyone was leaving the place headed for the country club reception. I heard my husband's mother mutter to one of the sisters, "Good, perfect timing, we only want to eat anyway." After trying to convince these morons that you don't go to a reception if you don't go to a wedding - unless specifically invited to do so (which in itself I find tacky), all overruled me and off we went to the posh Country Club. Here's where it gets really tacky. Mother Bushy is bragging and going on and on about this faction of the family, how they're so well off they can afford such a royal wedding and reception, blah, blah, blah. Well, after having a drink or two at the community bar, we were invited to find our numbered tables and have a seat for dinner. The Bushy's took off for their table like ferrets let out of a cage. They raced to the table, chair-scraped the floor with their seats, laughed boisterously (with many a wide-eyed stare and eyebrow raised).

My husband and I walked over to the table after another drink to sit down for our reception dinner. There was only one seat left at the table when we got there. My husband was dying of embarrassment and tried to be gallant in letting me have the seat. Then his sister chimed in, "No, Henry, you're blood family, you get first dibs on it! She can go steal a chair and some dishes and pull them up here with us." I found out later that at least two of them were not even invited, but just wanted a free meal. By this time, I had had enough and spent the rest of the reception in the bar. My husband and I left the rest of the Bushys there to find their own way home. Needless to say, after 14 years together, he and I never went to another of his family's weddings.       Tacky 1010-02

I was four months pregnant with our first child when my husband and I attended the wedding of an old friend of his from school. This friend asked my husband to be in the wedding party, an expensive proposition for us since the formal wear was unusual (kilts) and required special ordering in advance. Moreover, the wedding and reception were held at an expensive hotel two hundred miles from our home. All told, we spent about $1000 to participate. In addition, our family had further contributed to the wedding by designing and printing the invitations and programs, as well as catering the engagement party.

At the cocktail party preceding the reception, the bride and groom had arranged a special "VIP" room with food and drinks for the wedding party. As I did not know anyone at the reception apart from my husband, and as I was feeling sick and unsteady because of the baby, I asked the groom if it would be all right for me to stay with my husband in the VIP reception room instead. He very graciously insisted that I do so. I knew the wedding party would be announced in some way at the start of the reception. My plan was to let them go, then slip in quietly after everyone was seated and rejoin my husband at the head table. Of the members of the bridal party, we were the only married couple, and none of the other members had brought dates. So I was the only "fifth wheel" of the bunch, which is a very lonely position to be in. A few minutes later, the bride rages into the VIP room and says, very loudly, "Well, I SUPPOSE it's all right if she walks in with the rest of us." Then she storms over to me and demands to know if I know where I am sitting. Of course I know where I am sitting, I say. I am sitting on a chair. (I was very confused.) No, she says. You're sitting at the big table in the center of room. In other words, I should get the hell out of the VIP room and into the reception hall. Okay! I say. I can take a hint. I say goodbye to my husband and stumble out into the reception area. I peer into the hall and, naturally, THERE IS NO ONE AT THE HEAD TABLE. As I was already somewhat nauseated, the prospect of sitting at the table all by myself for an unspecified period of time in the middle of a roomful of strangers seemed sure to make me fully and floridly sick. So I simply left the reception and headed back up to our room. My husband found me a half hour later. I was so stunned by her behavior. As a family, we had made such an effort to support  her and her husband-to-be! I could hardly believe such selfishness and ingratitude was possible, but I guess anything goes, including rudeness, when you're the bride and it's "your special day".

Tacky 0930-02

It was my best friend from high school. Although through college we grew somewhat apart, we still always felt a connection. I was delighted to hear of her engagement and touched when she asked me to be her maid of honor. So the wedding went ahead. I flew across country, spent tons of money, etc but never gave it a thought b/c that is what friends do! Unfortunately, that didn't last. I heard little from her despite my millions of phones calls, and she only started to call when she found a new guy. When I told her of my engagement she only wanted to talk about when she was going to get engaged. Needless to say, I did not ask her to be in my wedding. Many months later she calls to tell me she was engaged, and asks if I would be able to come again across country. (Did I mention it was 30 days before my wedding.) I said yes of course, and said are you still coming to mine?" She said she didn't think so b/c she would be busy! Then the clincher! She sends an email a couple of months later saying, "oh I moved, I guess you didn't get my address. Here it is, you will get an invitation soon."(Never called and no forwarding number to phone her) When I got the invitation, not only was it the ugliest thing I had ever seen but she inserted registry cards of where she and her fiancé were registered! Tacky, she was already married once and received all that stuff! I declined and did not send a gift. I also did send her an invitation to my wedding! Selfish!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tacky 0918-02

My story involves the greediness, self-centeredness and arrogance of my own sister. To sum it up, she is not a young bride, she is in her late 30s and been living on her own for many years and always purchased whatever she wanted for her home. Aside from the fact that her and her fiancé have registered for many "upgrade" items for their household. (They've built their own house and been living together for over a year and actually have to get rid of duplicate household appliances when they moved in together.) In addition to them registering for many items they CLEARLY don't need, she has also been a nightmare with her invitations by selectively not inviting some of our Mom's or our dear departed Dad's brothers and sisters, some of the cousins and worse yet, my Mother's new husband! She has also bullied her fiancé and his parents in "who they get to invite" and when she was angry with her fiancé about him not standing up to his parents about their guest list, she said, "this is exactly why your first marriage didn't work out!" (Inferring that his parents were somehow responsible for his first marriage failing....ugh!) Furthermore, her personal wedding shower involved her friends, all in their late 30s and early 40s, bedecking her in "faux-bride" garb, complete with lots of penis paraphernalia dragging her out to local bars to sell "a blow for a buck" and get her as drunk as possible. ICK! It was like being with a group of women who have serious arrested development issues. Shameful and embarrassing. I feel sorry for her husband-to-be.  Tacky 0916-02

Just over a year ago, my husband and I had attend the wedding of a friend. It was at a nice outdoors garden which has a good reputation for weddings. We arrived a little early, as we usually do. Well, the wedding was postponed by an hour. The groom (my friend) called me while we were on the way there, and told me that he was hoping that he could sort of postpone it by an hour, because he needed more time. Now, understand that this garden has MANY weddings each day, and they do NOT look to kindly on things not happening on schedule. Well, he succeeded in sort of hiding out so that the wedding would not start at the designated time.

It was a simple, "nice" wedding. The wind was blowing, so the candles wouldn't stay lit, but they had no control over that. Well, things got interesting after the ceremony when the minister announced that we should all grab our chairs and proceed inside for the reception. WHAT?!?! I'm in an outdoors venue...wearing a nice dress...and they want me to carry my own chair inside???? Crazy.

Then, we all went in. The tables were not yet set up for the dinner, so we all sort of stood around, wondering what to do. Nobody instructed us in any way. An hour later, tables were being put in place, and the bride and groom just kind of showed announcement, or anything. Finally, the buffet table was ready, and they asked that the bridal party be allowed to go through first, so they could get more pictures taken afterward.

The food was "okay." We were just sitting down to eat, when the maid of honor came through, and asked us to move our table!!!! I looked at her in a puzzled way, and told her that we had just sat down to eat. She YELLED at me that the bride was paying the photographer a lot of money, and they needed to move the tables so they could get more pictures taken and get the photographer out of there. Needless to say, we didn't stick around too long.

Tacky 0906-02

My story tonight is about my brothers wedding. His wife, "Mary" although outwardly a very sweet girl, is very naive and desperate. Well the story begins with her getting pregnant only three months after meeting my brother, "Dave". Mary insists that they have a big wedding, unfortunately her family made it clear that they had no intention of contributing to her wedding, Dave did not have a lot of money, nor did our family. Dave basically pawned or sold everything of value he had to give her money for their wedding. Including a RV. As soon as the check cleared the bank she went out and emptied the account to buy a dress, headpiece and accessories that were far beyond their budget. Then made up a story about the bridal shop sneaking extra costs on.

She scheduled the wedding to take place when she was five months pregnant. She is a big girl with an ample bustline and didn't acquire the proper foundation garments or have the dress properly fitted, So all through the ceremony and reception she looked like she was about to fallout. Her made of honor was 8 1/2 months pregnant well showing. Her mother showed up to the wedding in a slinky sparkly floor length black cocktail dress and drank throughout the wedding, then later commented that it was tacky for me to wear my dress navy uniform.

At the reception hall, nothing had been prepared. Except the wedding cake which I had personally delivered that morning. (The bride considered the German leaded crystal caketopper "not fancy enough"). Her MOH and other of her bridesmaids changed as soon as they got to the hotel where the reception was and not just into something nice but into jeans and a sweatshirts. Numerous other guests from the bride's side had showed up in jeans to a wedding where the groom wore a tux with tails. The "caterers" finally brought punch in, but the punch was concentrate and had not even been diluted, not to mention, it took over an hour to get it drinkable. For some reason no one the staff of the hotel/casino where the reception was held, knew how to turn on the ventilation in the room. It became very stuffy.

Half the brides guests went straight to the casino in the hotel and just sent there kids in every 15 minutes to check if they cut the cake yet. At one point several plates of finger sandwiches where were brought into the hall. This brought the brides family back into the hall to devour them, then to quickly return to the slots, blackjack tables and bar. The bride spent most of the reception chasing around her fifteen year old cousin who was trying to gamble. Apparently nether her mother (now well sauced) nor any other member of her family could look for the cousin.

While Dave's side of the family gave gifts like of expensive linens and large checks as well as provided the honeymoon, the wedding cake (as well as the bachelor party and provided vehicles for running errands and making last minute deliveries), Mary's side gave baby gifts that were very very cheap and were from several people at once. Its not that they simply had know money, they dropped hundreds of dollars in the casino.

The happy couple opened gifts at the reception, expecting guests to ohhh and aaahhh over them.Thank goodness they didn't do the planned "money dance" .   Double Eeeuuuww!

Mary claimed that Island resort that she had asked for and received for her honeymoon wasn't "that nice", the cake wasn't fancy enough, and eagerly spent every dime she was given. To put the icing on the cake, she sent thankyou cards to only her side of the family and completely ignored Dave's side who had tried so hard to make sure she had the wedding she dreamed of. When Dave's mother finally asked why no Thank you's had been sent out, she said proudly that she had done the ones to her family but it was up to Dave to do the ones for his family (Dave was working 50 to 60 hour weeks while she stayed home to await the baby).

A post script to this story; Now that the holiday season is nearing she has asked for addresses but still has not found the time to write thank you's. We think that if they do come at all it will only be to hint for Christmas gifts.     Tacky 0904-02

My current husband was so gracious and made sure I had the exact ring I wanted--a three-stone ring with beautiful stones (one of them being my grandmother's). Everyone was so impressed with the ring including my parents, extended family, his extended family, but I guess not his mother. On two separate occasions, one being at a college football game with family, she wanted to see the ring in the "light" and proclaimed, "that ring is enough for three marriages!!" Jealous are we? Needless to say she doesn't have an engagement ring due to the fact that she and her husband are cheap and thrifty. I told her that "no, actually one was fine with me but thanks."     Tacky 0802-02

Hello, I stumbled across this site by accident and have been loving it ever since. I have decided when I get married to avoid all of these horror stories I have two requests of my future husband whoever he is. His parents be deceased and we have our reception (after eloping) at Perkins. (just kidding) Anyway, I am currently involved as a personal attendant in a wedding for a woman who is to be married in two weeks. As my wedding gift to the couple I offered to housesit and babysit their two children for them so they might escape for the weekend. This was met with much appreciation and excitement. They scrambled to get a hotel room for both nights and I trudged on ahead with making sure things ran smoothly for the brides day. (I should note that I have known the couple a little over a year and only met this woman because a mutual friend of ours had set me up with the brides first husband. He and I weren't couple material but have formed a close friendship, closer then the bride and I actually) The bride called me this past weekend, two weeks from the wedding day and asked me to dinner. So a group of us went there and much to my surprise she told me that seeing as they were having the wedding Friday night and the reception the following evening, Saturday, the grooms mother thought we were being rude. She took it upon herself to plan a coffee and appetizer reception after the actual ceremony. One catch, she is hosting this at the house where I am house-sitting/babysitting. So now not only am I going to have to deal with a psycho bride, two children who behave best at misbehaving, but now 40 people in a tiny house. The bride and groom told me they will stay for an hour or so and then I am on my own. *gasp* On my own with people I have never even met, being a hostess and watching their kids to boot.... a simple, thoughtful gift has turned into hell and I am in too deep to get out now.
Tacky 0814-02

My fiancé’s friend became engaged after dating a girl for only a few months. We were all surprised, but happy for him. The wedding was planned for the next year. During this time the groom to be alienated all his friends. When we did see them, however, they would talk about the wedding and such and talk about who my fiancé (at the time boyfriend)would be paired with and such. However, they had yet to officially ask him to be in the wedding party. About 2 months before the wedding they finally asked.

Things continue on and we don't here from anyone. My fiancé talks to the best man and they plan a bachelor party for the groom at the last minute.

It then became time for the wedding. My fiancé had to work so I picked up his tux or him. It was the ugliest thing I had ever seen. It was a long, black, heavy jacket, and the wedding was in the middle of the summer. We should have known things would be bad after we saw the tux.

The night of the rehearsal dinner (which by the way fiancé was only informed of the day before and I was not invited to even though we were living together at the time and it was just a cookout at the bride's parents house, not a fancy expensive dinner). He went to the rehearsal and all was well, until he went to leave. They then informed him that was expected to stay and help decorate the hall. Too bad they didn't tell him earlier because he had to leave before dark because he rode his motorcycle to the rehearsal which was an hour away from where we live.

The next day I dropped my fiancé off at the groom's house where the guys all sat around and drank pop while waiting for the limo. The limo was fully stocked, but not one of them could have a drink. The priest said if anyone had a drink before the wedding he would not go through with it. By the way, one of the groomsmen was the bride's ex boyfriend from college (granted they are only friends now)that she insisted be part of the wedding party.

I arrive at the wedding which was actually very elegant. Then, on to the reception.

The reception was at a fire hall. This would have been nice given their budget, but they crammed a lot more people in there than there were supposed to be. Not to mention the brides color scheme for the wedding was black. Now, black can be done very elegantly. However, EVERYTHING was black. The dresses, the table clothes, the balloons, you name it and it was black. It felt more like a funeral than a wedding. When the bridal party arrived 2 and a half hours later, my fiancé explained they were late because they went to 3 separate locations for pictures (one of which was a cemetery)!!!

My favorite part of the whole thing was when the bride's Uncle got up to say a prayer before the meal and congratulated the bride and groom. Except, he called the groom by the wrong name.

Tacky 0801-02

A few years ago I accompanied my boyfriend-at-the-time to his friend's wedding. First of all, I should say that while the groom was perfectly nice he was a bit 'nerdy' and his fiancée was quite pretty but only in a trailer trash sort of way. They were funding the wedding themselves, which I admired. To save money there were no real invites, just word-of-mouth invitations. My friend and her boyfriend got invited the week before (only because they had a party that the bride and groom got drunk at and decided to 'up' the potential gift list). We arrived at the venue which was a sad hall on a major thoroughfare (the only things in sight being car dealerships and tractor trailers). We were all dressed quite nicely and felt completely out of place when we came in and found the bride's family in all manner of tank tops and T-shirts. The ceremony was painful as the officiant compared marriage to mowing the lawn and also thought it was quite amusing to keep referring to the groom's hair loss. When the ceremony was finally over we were all forced back onto the driveway (2 feet from the highway) so they could move all the chairs around for the reception. The remaining evening consisted of music from a boombox and a pay bar that only had beer. As a postscript, the bride left the groom 6 months later for a guy with a really shiny pick-up truck.   Tacky 0806-02

Here’s my story about our best man and matron of honour, whom I’ll call Chris and Sara. They were (and are) our best friends and are married to each other. We love them dearly, but we were ready to scream at them on our wedding day. Here’s why.

Chris and Sara were spending the night before the wedding in the hotel at which the reception was to be held, so the four of us went to their room to relax a little before going our separate ways for the night. Sara suddenly said, "Hey – we’re driving you guys to the picture-taking and the reception tomorrow, right?" "That’s right," I said. "We didn’t rent a limo!" Sara said in dismay. I told her that a limo wasn’t necessary – their car would be fine – but Sara pulled out the Yellow Pages and started dialing car-rental companies. It was only when we’d told her three times that it was 10:00 AT NIGHT, and all the car-rental companies would be closed, that she gave up.

Chris then picked up the Pay-Per-View card on top of the TV. "Hey, ‘Basic Instinct’ is on at midnight!" he said excitedly. My fiancé looked at him in exasperation. "Um, Chris, the wedding is at 11:00 tomorrow morning – I don’t think it would be a good idea to start watching a movie at midnight." "Oh. Okay."

The following morning I got my hair done early, then I went to the beauty salon where I was to meet Sara to get our makeup done. There was no sign of her. I asked the makeup artist to just start on my makeup and do Sara when she arrived. Well, she finally arrived an hour later, with no explanation, just as I was starting to seriously panic. As she was getting her makeup done, she casually mentioned that she still needed to get pantyhose for the wedding. That’s right – she had known about the wedding for over a year, but she had put off buying pantyhose until the day itself. Keeping a rein on my temper, I said "We’re in a mall - I’ll just pop down the hall and get you some pantyhose." Which I did, in full bridal regalia – gown, headdress, and all. I got some looks, I can tell you.

Finally, we were all ready to go. As we were leaving the mall, Sara spied a jewelry display. "Ooo, those earrings are nice! Think I should get them to go with my Matron of Honour dress?" she asked. I counted to ten and said evenly "Sara, it’s now 10:35. The wedding is at 11:00." Sara looked at me uncomprehendingly, then she caught on and said "Oh – I guess we don’t have time." Hallelujah – she saw the light! We got in the car and drove to the church.

The ceremony was lovely, but there was one more thing to make me gnash my teeth. As my new husband and I got in Chris and Sara’s car to drive to the park for pictures, I couldn’t help noticing that the car obviously hadn’t been cleaned in a while. Not only was it dirty on the outside, the back seat was covered in fast-food wrappers that we had to sweep out of the way before we sat down. They’d known about the wedding for over a year – they’d known that we wanted them to drive us – and they couldn’t even be bothered to clean their car. Argh!

Tacky 0813-02

Several years ago a friend of mine (we'll call her Gwen) was getting married while still in college. This of course meant that a large lavish wedding was not in the cards. One of the ways to cut back was by making their own decorations and having a the wedding at a rec center where the staff made the meals instead of caterers. Gwen asked a couple of us (we were not in the wedding party) to help her out with decorations and setting up of the rec centre the night before and to transport some of the flowers from the church to the rec centre after the ceremony. We had no problem with helping her out and helping make her day special. I have to give her credit...she did a lot with what she had and everything was running smoothly. We arrived at the rec centre with time to spare and we able to sit down and enjoy the meal and the toasts. Our job was done.......but somehow the Bride's mother didn't think so. She had the gall to ask us to help clear the dishes because they wanted to start the rest of the festivities and get everything cleared from the tables. I was floored!! Where she got the idea that a simple favor of transporting a couple flower arrangements suddenly made us the clean up crew I have no idea. I was so shocked that I don't know if I even answered - I think I just nodded my head. It was complete humiliation to rise up from my seat wearing a nice dress only to start clearing dishes. Thank heavens the kitchen staff realized how inappropriate this was and sent us back to our seats. However, this was after we had cleared a few dishes. No doubt everyone saw. To this day I am still insulted by what the MOB asked the couple of us to do.     Tacky 0822-02

In the late 90's, a married college friend named Heather and I were to meet in the city where she lives so we could drive 2 1/2 hours to attend a mutual friend's wedding. For me to see Heather, I would need to drive 2 1/2 hours early that Saturday morning. On Friday afternoon, I had my hair done, got the wedding gift, got the car ready for a car trip,etc. I had just spoken with Heather a couple of days before and we had made arrangements where we'd eat, meet friends afterwards, etc. By the way I had my pager with me so I could be reached. I made the trip early that Saturday morning and 2 and 1/2 hours later, I arrived at Heather's house. I knocked on the door, wanting to use a room to change into my nice clothes. Heather answered the door, saying "I'm not going." She was in her bathrobe, looking very defensive. She was 5 months pregnant and did not want to go. If she had tried to page me or had sounded apologetic, I could have understood. She thought I'd like to go by myself! Duh!! I did not attend the wedding. How rude she was!    Tacky 0723-02