Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go

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Just Plain Tacky

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My husband and I were married last March. We had a beautiful wedding and invited as many friends, family, and co-workers as we could fit in the chapel. We lived together for almost a year before the wedding and we have a variety of friends with a variety of budgets, so when we registered, we only registered for things we absolutely needed or absolutely fell in love with. We made sure our registries had plenty of items that were inexpensive and when asked, we made it clear that though we appreciate them, gifts were not necessary.

One of my co-workers could not attend the wedding. His wife does not work and they have five kids, so when his wife called and said she wanted her gift to me to be a lesson in scrapbooking, I thought that was a lovely gesture and I accepted, telling her that I would be unavailable until after the honeymoon. Of course, I never expected to actually accept the gift as the gesture was enough in my mind and I have no creative talent (or drive) whatsoever. Well, about a week after the wedding, she called me, and said she was going to give me a scrapbook and a lesson in scrapbooking. I said okay, but I'm busy right now, maybe in a couple of weeks. She called me at work a couple of times, came by my office, even sent a card about how much she wanted to do the scrapbooking lesson. Finally, I realized she was not going to give up and I set up a time with her.

The day came that it was scrapbooking time. I pulled out all of my wedding pictures and she showed me some different designs and types of pages I could use. She had the gamut of scrapbooking tools and helped me do a couple of pages. I was really starting to have fun, until she pulled out a price list and told me how much all of the different tools would cost. Turns out, she sells the scrapbooking items and this was all a sales pitch! I couldn't believe it. If I didn't see her husband every day of my life, I would have thrown her out of my house. Instead, I developed a headache and she left. Then, I went to Michael's and bought every scrapbooking thing in sight as my own little form of revenge.

PlainTacky0113-04


When my wife and I got married, we knew it was the only wedding either of us would have, so we decided to do our best to have a full-blown ceremony: me in tux, her in full bridal gown, a full church service, the whole nine yards.  We also were paying for the wedding ourselves, so we did much of the work ourselves.  Everything went very well, considering that we were both (understandably) frazzled by the time the big day arrived.      

It should be noted that not much of our relationship has ever been traditional.  Kym and I are something of an "odd couple."  Somehow a nice Baptist girl from Torrance and an aging punk rock thug from Berkeley managed to meet and fall in love.  We met on line (via Usenet) and conversed through email and then phone for several months before meeting face to face.  This made for, um, let's call it an eclectic mix as far as our guests went; no mistaking which side of the aisle were the bride's guests and which were the groom's:  While all guests were dressed appropriately --- including some friends of mine who I was convinced didn't even own shirts with buttons, much less a tie --- there was a very heavy concentration of purple hair and heavy-gauge piercings on one side of the aisle.  Also, my "best man" was a woman (and yes, she wore a tux), the wedding dress was found and purchased on line, and we had a "dry" reception: Let's see, one diabetic (Kym) and one recovering alcoholic (me) getting married equals a dearth of booze.  (I let my friends know that surreptitious flask-tipping would not be frowned upon, and none of them overdid it.)      

Our few incidents:      - We nearly didn't get the date we wanted thanks to collegiate sports.  The church we were married at is in Berkeley (yes, that Berkeley; this will again be important in a minute).  After consulting with the people who we absolutely positively wanted to be at the ceremony, we decided on October 13th, a Saturday, as the ideal date.  Fine and dandy, right?  WRONG.  October 13th was also the day of the Big Homecoming Game at UC Berkeley, the Bears vs. Oregon.  Not only did this make finding accommodations for out-of-town guests difficult, it seems that the church leases its parking lot to the University of California, so the school has parking for big events like football games.  What this translates to is: It's the church's parking lot, unless UC has something going on, at which point all bets are off.      

We put our heads together and did some research.  The football game started around 11 a.m., and was over around 3 p.m.  The lot would be out of the control of the school at approximately 4 p.m.  We decided to have an evening ceremony, at 7 p.m.      

When Kym (my wife) arrived at about 4:15, the lot attendant was still there.... And refused to let them in.      

"We're here for a wedding."      

"No no, you'll have to pay to park."      

"The wedding is here at this church!"      

"You'll still have to pay to park."      

"I'M THE BRIDE!"      

The lot attendant recognized that he was staring at a potential lynch mob, and acquiesced to the vehicles.      

Now that they've arrived, Kym, my family, her mom, and others directly involved with the wedding go inside to the banquet room of the church, where the reception will be held.... To find it completely not ready.  There were supposed to be about thirty tables set up with tablecloths, the cake table, decorations, etc.  Nothin'.  Zip-dee-doo-dah.      Can you say nervous breakdown?      

It seems there'd been a lack of communication between various church employees as to the date of the wedding: No one in charge of facilities knew we were coming.  (Fortunately, we had been in contact with the minister fairly regularly, so we knew she would be there.)   My mom, my sister, Kym's mom, and Kym's MOH got Kym calmed down, and everyone got to work.  Kym explained what we'd agreed upon as far as setup goes, and the whole crew managed to get the entire reception area looking the way it should.      

And where am I during all this, you ask?  I am still chasing all over East Bay, loading up our truck with supplies.  I didn't arrive at the church until about 6:20, still dressed in a T-shirt, Ben Davis, and boots.  I pull into the loading zone in front of the church and begin unloading stuff, wheeling a hand truck full of crushed ice into the reception area....  I looked around at the decorated room and said to no one in particular, "Well, at least this went according to plan," and couldn't figure out why my brother-in-law and dad were giving me such funny looks.      - We are probably one of the few weddings in recent times to have a crasher.      

The church is one block off of Telegraph Ave.  If you are not familiar, Telegraph Ave. is Berkeley's equivalent to Haight Street in S.F.: trendy clothing shops, head shops, bars, plenty of random street looneys, punks, and panhandlers.  In my younger, mohawked days, I made money on Telegraph juggling flaming tennis balls and telling bad jokes.  ("Look! A man with three balls!")    So, nobody thought much of the guy in a hockey jersey and baseball cap who sat quietly through the ceremony and attended about 1/3 of the reception.  When asked, he would say he was either a friend of mine, or the cousin of my groomsman's wife.  He was generally well-behaved... But creeped out several female attendees, including my best (wo)man.  His big mistake was telling my groomsman that he was a cousin of the groomsman's wife.  At this, a couple of my friends let him know (in no uncertain terms) it was time he left.  One of my friends joked later, "I usually work as a bouncer on Saturday nights anyways.  I didn't expect to be 'called into service' at your wedding!"      

After the reception wrapped up around 10:45, Kym and I prepared to head to our wedding night accommodations at Jack London Square (the Oakland embarcadero).  Both of us were famished --- all we'd had to eat all day was two slices of cake, some punch, and quick handfuls of snacks from the reception.  No problem, there's a ton of restaurants in Jack London Square, right?      Yes there are, and not a single damn one would seat us.  Despite the marked closing time of midnight, these joints stop seating at 11:30.    We both refused to eat from a drive-through on our wedding night, and I was vehemently opposed to eating at the Emeryville Denny's.... A.K.A. "Slaughterhouse Denny's" due to the frequent shootings that occur inside the restaurant on Friday and Saturday nights.  We ended up driving up I-80, brainstorming: "How about the Lyon's in El Cerrito?" (They were closed.)  "Spenger's in Berkeley?"  (Also closed.)   We ended up having dinner at the Casino San Pablo, a card room two miles from our house.  They served us well, with good food... We just couldn't get over the irony of having our wedding night dinner so close to home; we kept joking that we should've just gone home and microwaved up a couple of Hungry Man dinners!

PlainTacky0105-04


Firstly I have to say I love your site!  I find it entertaining as well as informative.!

My mom had decided to get remarried.  As this wasn’t going to be her first wedding she wanted it to be simple.  The wedding itself would only be immediate family, with a small lunch afterwards, and the reception would be held on a different day.  My mom’s SIL, “Joanne”  and my mom’s brother, “Joe” had confirmed that they would be attending both the ceremony and the reception, (she lived about 10 hrs away).  This was fine, my mom was thrilled actually.  We aren’t a very formal family but we do send out invitations, and we do write thank you notes for gifts, and dinners etc...

 But this particular event they specified they didn’t want any presents for their wedding.  As it was not the first marriage for either one of them, they were quite well off, and had just about everything you could possibly think of and more.  Again being it not their first wedding, they didn’t hire a photographer, but had left many of those disposable cameras on the tables for guests to take pictures of what they thought was appropriate...  

The ceremony went off very well, so did the lunch...  A few days later at the reception, with all the disposable cameras, people were taking pictures, it was going off well.  (Oh I do have to mention that they did hire someone to video the whole ordeal so the pictures were just a bonus).  As the night came to an end, Joanne is getting ready to leave, saying her good byes.  

As she gets to my mom,  my mom noticed that Joanne had taken many of the disposable cameras.  My mom had mentioned off the cuff that they were to be left on the tables.  Joanne had said that she wanted copies of what she took so she’d have them developed and then send back the negatives with a set of photos.  My mom let her take them, reluctantly.  My mom and her husband are the type of people that do things right away, so the next day their photos from the reception were already developed. (Their reception was small 40 guests at most, my mom didn’t even wear white, just to give you an idea.) Anyway weeks pass, months pass.... No photos....  

Finally about 8 months after the wedding, my parents receive a copy of the photos, not the size they usually get them developed, and they were matt not glossy.  She had kept the negatives so there was no way to reprint the photos, and to make matters worse, she signed each and every photo with her maiden and married name.  I understand that photography is an art, but she signed photos she was IN!!!!!!!  It was impossible for her to have taken them.  She refused to give them the negatives, so they are stuck with these photos.  I think I was more angry than my parents but I just think it was plain tacky!!!

PlainTacky0221-04


I attended the wedding of a college friend who now lives in a different city than I do.  Because I had heard from other friends that the bride was insistent on receiving gifts from her registry, I tried to call her before the wedding to find out where she was registered. I finally was able to reach her about a week before the wedding, found out where she was registered, went to the store and selected my gift.  

Because the gift was breakable and unwieldy to carry and because I would be traveling several hours to the town where the wedding was being held, I specified that the gift should be shipped to the bride instead of carrying it to the wedding. I attended the wedding and all was well.  

Two days later, I get an e-mail from the Maid of Honor. She was not a close friend of mine and I know that the bride must have given her my e-mail address. This is a paraphrase of the e-mail:   "Hi, it was so nice to see you at the wedding! "Bride" and I were talking and she mentioned that someone brought a gift  to the wedding and didn't sign their name on the card so she thought that it must be from you since she hasn't received a present from you.  What did you get her?"   I think that this was a complete gimme, gimme strategy on the part of the bride. She was using the MOH to police the gifts! It was rude and obnoxious because: 1.) It was only 2 days after the wedding, most brides continue to receive presents for about a month after the wedding, 2.) there were close to 300 people at the wedding, so how did she just happen to think that the mysterious present (if it even existed) must be from me? 3.)The bride was obviously annoyed about not having received a gift from me yet because she had mentioned it to the MOH and gone as far as giving her my e-mail address to check on the situation. I found this to be completely rude!

PlainTacky0303-04


Hi, Ms. Jeanne,   Yep, got another one for you.   We went to an otherwise lovely wedding in November. The ceremony was held in a charming old church with the reception at a local country club. We were impressed when we got the invitations, because they actually offered food choices. Prime rib, steak, seafood, or vegan meal.   Now, it seems to me that if they could afford the country club and a catered-to-guest-order dinner, they could at least have served some drinks. I don't mean alcoholic drinks; I mean ANY drinks.

Dinner was served and the guests got only water. The bride and groom table, the groomsmen's table, and the bridesmaids' table got their choice of water or iced tea. When it came time for the champagne toast, only the bride and groom's table (which also included their parents) got champagne. Everyone else toasted with their glasses of water.   When the cake was served, the bride/groom table, groomsmen and bridesmaids got large slices of the wedding cake. The guests got half inch thick, two inches long slices of a cake that didn't even look like the wedding cake.   Of course I'd never say so, but I thought this was a bit tacky. If cost was a factor, they could have offered a less expensive food choice. It wasn't even bottled or mineral water; just the city tap stuff. Or am I a greedy guest here?   

PlainTacky0203-04


I am not sure where this story would fit in, perhaps just plain tacky or weddings from hell!!! 

About 10 years ago, I was invited to the wedding of the daughter of some dear family friends.  My parents and the daughter's parents had been friends for way over 20 years and we were all very excited to hear about the upcoming nuptials of their daughter.  My mother was in frequent contact with the mother of the bride (who, by the way, is shall we say a bit on the snobby side) and according to her, the planning was going very smoothly.  Everything was perfect according to MOB.  The church where the wedding was to be held was gorgeous, the reception hall was very ritzy, etc. 

Then my father had a conversation with the FOB.  He told my father that the MOB and FOB had given the couple $10,000.00 to spend on the wedding (not including the bridal gown, veil, shoes, etc. for the bride) and whatever they had left over, they were allowed to keep.  Knowing the lovely bride myself, I figured she would be able to put on one heck of a wedding as she is really frugal with her money and knows where to get some really good deals.  I have seen the couples new home and it is decorated beautifully for very little money.  I guess I was wrong. 

To start out the ceremony is being held at a tiny church about 1 hour away from where the reception will be held.  This would be fine if the bride or groom was a member of said church, but neither one of them is, nor are either of their parents.  They have a guest list confirmed at 225 and there is seating for approximately 150.  OK, maybe they thought it would hold more people.  Nope...they did not have to pay for the use of the church if they agreed to attend at least 2 services.  I find out they did not even offer to tip the officiator and were never going back to that church again as "It is too far for us to drive there every Sunday".....It gets better. 

The ceremony is over and we leave to go to the reception.  The ceremony started at 3pm and was over by 4pm.  The reception is to start at 6pm.  We get to the lovely hotel where the reception is to be held.  It is gorgeous.  I figure to myself "this has to be where they spent all the money from the bride's parents".  Oh how wrong I was.  We are all directed to the "ballroom".  There are a total of 10 tables set up with seating for 10 at each table.  For a minute I thought my math was off when I figured that only 100 people could be seated in the hall (remember there are 225 guests).  It wasn't.  The bride and groom had decided that it was much cheaper to rent the smaller ballroom than the grand ballroom and figured the guests could just mill around and sit when they got tired of dancing.  But where would we eat the dinner (the invite stated a formal dinner reception to be held after the ceremony)?  Don't worry, the bride had arranged with the hotel to set up fold out tables in the hall way outside of the actual reception room for people to sit at and eat for a reduced cost.  Oh yeah and the doors to the hall would not be left open, you just had to sit out in the hallway and eat while listening to the reception through closed doors.  It gets better.  

My family and I look to the side and see a nice table with misc. hors-d'oeuvres.  At this point we are pretty hungry as we ate a small lunch as to not spoil what the invitation described as a "formal dinner".  We proceed to get some chunks of fruit and cheese and some pigs in a blanket and wait for the bridal party to arrive.  They do and we all crowd into the hall to watch the first dance.  After that, the DJ announces that it is "Time to PARRRRRTYYYY" and the music begins.  This can't be.  When will the formal dinner be served?  I ask my mother, who in turn, as tactfully as she can, mentions to the MOB that she cannot wait for the lovely dinner that has been described a million times to her in many phone conversations between the two of them. (Of course those were not my mothers exact words).  The MOB then asks, "Did you not get any of the dinner???  There was the lovely buffet as you walked in."  Yep, that's right...our formal dinner that was to be the most exquisite foods we had ever eaten were chunks of fruit, cheese, and pigs in a blanket.  The bride and groom had paid for 1 keg of beer for the drinks...all else was cash, even the soda.  And when the keg ran out, the beer became cash also. 

Needless to say most people left rather early, and I hear the couple's honeymoon was wonderful.  I guess you could have a pretty nice one with $9500.00 to spend!  

PlainTacky1001-03


I am from Ireland, where we do not have showers (bridal or baby), bride's maid's luncheons, rehearsal dinners or a few other things I have seen mentioned. We do have the hen and stag parties though!

A friend (Sarah) got married last year. About two months prior to the happy day, there was the usual hen party. Her bride's maids organized dinner in a restaurant, to be followed by some drinks in a bar. This restaurant operates an "early bird" menu, which meant that most of us ate for the equivalent of $9 for the main course (drinks extra!). The meal was booked for 6pm.

I have been friends with Sarah and her sister (Mary) for some time, though we only see each other in a group setting. The fact that they do not usually arrive out until 11.00pm never struck me as odd, I just assumed they were night owls and preferred to arrive late and indulge in a drink or two. How wrong could I be?

I am unmercifully tardy - I get panicked at the thought of being even 2 minutes late for an appointment, however casual. On the night of the hen party, I needed to fill a prescription, so I dropped into the pharmacy across the road at 5.50pm. I rushed to make sure I was in the restaurant by 6.01pm. The waiter showed me to the area set up for 20 people. I was the first to arrive, but I am used to that.

I was offered a drink, I took a 7Up, and I sat over it until the next guests (the bride's maids) arrived....... at 6.45. I was mortified. The staff were unbelievably friendly, and each of them (Italian born, not fluent in English) came down to speak to me in turn, to make sure I was OK. The 2 bride's maids laughed and said, Sarah's always late!! I didn't find it so amusing......

Others arrived in dribs and drabs, until the guest of honor and her two sisters arrived at 7.10. No apology forthcoming. The waiter then asked if the spare 8 settings would be needed - only 12 were coming, yet nobody informed the restaurant. They graciously removed the extra places.

You need to realize at this point that the early bird menu operates from 5-7pm. Even though he was well within his rights to charge us full price, the manager came down and informed us that he would still give us the early menu prices. What a sweet man!

The meal went well, the staff were very attentive and gave Sarah a drink "on the house" to celebrate. Then came the bill. We had all agreed to cover Sarah's meal, not a problem. It was incredibly cheap, so I only ended up paying about $17 for my meal and 2 7Ups (that is cheap for Ireland!!). I put in another $10 for Sarah, and to cover some of the tip.

All monies were given to the chief bride's maid (Scrooge). She got $210, the meal was $170. Nobody asked for change. Scrooge left about $10 for a tip. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head! There was some conversation between us, but she thought I wanted my change! She said the other $40 was to be spent at the bar. I managed to stammer "What about a tip?", "$10 is enough between us" was the reply.

I was nearly on the floor. This restaurant had been SO kind given the circumstances, not to mention that the food was great, and she thinks $10 is a big enough tip????

I fumbled around until everyone had left their seats and quickly stuck another $20 on top of the notes, it wasn't much, but all I could afford at the time.

Needless to say, I'm grateful I won't be dining with Scrooge, or Sarah and Mary any time soon!

PlainTacky0311-04


I don't know if this is a faux pas or not, but it just didn't seem right to me.  A co-worker, "Rae" asked me and another co-worker, "Tito" to be a part of her November wedding.  I was to be the gift table attendant and Tito was to man the guest book. 

Another co-worker "Caroline" was Rae's "bridal assistant", meaning she was the one to help dress Rae.  Caroline and I are discussing the upcoming nuptials and she informs me that she can't wait until the rehearsal dinner because the groom's parents have "gone all out" according to her.  Well, I was confused.  Tito and I were not invited to the rehearsal or the dinner.  I found it odd that Caroline would be too.  All she had to do was dress the bride.  Was that to be rehearsed at the church?  Tito and I did not have a clue about where anything was (we were also to help serve at the reception).    I thought it would be helpful to know these things beforehand.  So I waited for Rae to extend the invitation to me and Tito.  No such luck. So, we showed up on the night of wedding and looked like lost little puppies and got severe attitude from the wedding coordinator for not knowing anything.

      So maybe the guest book and gift table attendants don't need to be at the rehearsal, but does the person who's sole responsibility is to help the bride into her dress need to be invited too?  

P.S.  At Rae's lingerie shower, her sister passed out envelopes and asked us to address them ourselves.  I commented that I believed such a thing was tacky.  That didn't seem to go over well.  Maybe that's why I didn't get invited to the rehearsal... But what did poor Tito do??

PlainTacky0315-04


 

A few months ago, my boyfriend and I went to the wedding of two of his friends. Really, there was nothing tacky or at all bad about 90% of the proceedings, but I think this is definitely a warning for brides (or anyone else) to be a bit careful about how much alcohol they consume...

The wedding was great. I was outdoors, on a mountain top. The groom was Indian and the bride was white, the ceremony was a beautiful mix of two cultures with the bride in a sari. They read a funny poem they'd written together and an excerpt from a children's book they cherished.

The reception was also outdoors. Great food, awesome cake, lots of fun all around. Then the dancing started. We're all just a couple years out of college, and a lot of our college friends were there, so we were having fun partying down. After a while, the bride makes an announcement - so far, their bar tab is only $200 (it's an open bar), this is clearly means people haven't been drinking enough, so don't be shy. Well, let's just say the bride wasn't. By the time the sun went down (and we were still partying), she had gotten VERY drunk. The groom was more than tipsy too, and honestly so was the bride's mother. Somehow, one of the decorations (a piñata-type thing I think) had been broken and now resembled male genitalia. The bride and the groom started taking turns holding it at crotch-level and ... how do I put this delicately... thrusting it at each other while dancing. Right in front of the MOB, but like I said she was pretty gone herself and didn't seem to mind. The bride started talking loudly about their sex life, also right in front of her mother. She claimed this was okay since now that they're married her mom knows they'll be having sex. The bride also at one point started flashing everyone present, I think one of her bridesmaids might have joined in. I have to wonder if the bride was embarrassed about her behavior later... or if she remembers it at all!

PlainTacky0405-04


 

Two years ago, I attended my cousin's wedding. This was just the tackiest wedding I have ever attended. First of all, they had it in a very small church with no air conditioning on July 4th weekend. The groom's uncle sang many songs during the ceremony, off key, out of time. Long long songs. The worst singer I have ever heard outside of the shower. 

The guests all piled into their cars and drove another hour to the reception site which was a cement floored dusty dark hall with wood paneling from 1968. I'm not sure what it was, but it seemed like a bunker. As we entered the hall, we were issued drink tickets. That's right. Drink tickets. Two for each guest. And that only included off brand vodka and Coors in a can. My dad ordered a rum and coke and had to pay full price for it. Nice. 

An hour later, we had all consumed our drinks and were still waiting for the bride and groom and their party to arrive. They eventually did, hauling a cooler of Coors in a can out of the white limo with them. Pretty. We were all starving, but the catererer hadn't shown up yet. Neither had the DJ. We waited in the dank room when the food arrived, buffet. Nothing wrong with that, but it was only cold cuts and rolls. That was really it. The guests were all starving even after we left, right before which was when the DJ showed up. He's a local fellow who works for one of the local radio stations, but he does all of the middle school dances. So right before we left, he was putting on "shake your rump." Most of the guests were 50+ and the food was still on the dance floor. Not exactly ambiance music. This marriage was annulled 3 months later. No gifts were returned. Yesterday I got an invitation to this same cousin's second wedding. I don't think so.

 

PlainTacky0413-04


 

The second involves a friend my mother and I had gone to church with, and who had been with me in Mom's young adult Sunday school group. Then the friend moved out of state. I visited her once, and we did a vacation together in Las Vegas where she only wanted to lay around and watch soap operas. Big fun - not! I went home early, pleading illness. Never saw the inside of a casino. After that, I didn't hear from her for five years. Not a phone call, not a Christmas card, nothing. Neither did Mom. Even so, when I moved out of state I sent her a change of address card. Finally we hear from her: a wedding announcement. Addressed to both Mom and me at Mom's address in spite of the fact that I didn't live with Mom when the friend and I were close. I was home on a visit, so we bought that huge cookbook and sent it from both of us. We both figured that was plenty when she couldn't even be bothered to drop us a line for five years.

Yep, no thank you note. That was easily 15 years ago, haven't heard from her since.

PlainTacky0413-04


 

I have always found the garter "tradition" of having your father put it on you and your husband take it off and throw it to his friends to be in poor taste, but when my dearest friend got married back in the early 1980's, I nearly threw up. You see her father had sexually abused her when she was in junior high, not long after her mother died of a lingering disease. She was trying to forgive him and fuse her stepfamily into a real one, so she did the "traditional" garter thing. But the sight of her sicko father with his hands up her skirt was almost more than I could take.

At my wedding next year (I hope) I will be throwing neither garter nor bouquet, and if anyone finds that tacky or untraditional, tough.

You know, some of these "traditions" seem very recent. No one I know who got married before the late '70s threw any garter, or did more than wear one for the "something blue." And no description of weddings from the first half of the century describe bouquet-tossing. Frankly I don't consider either one of them true traditions, just modern tackiness.

PlainTacky0415-04

I've never seen nor heard of the tradition where the father of the bride puts the garter on his daughter.   That one is rather bizarre.


HI, This is a horrible story of an accusation that caused a friendship. I had a best friend for 16 years that I went through many good and bad things with. When I got married she was there and was a wonderful Maid of honor, although it was a JP wedding, and there were no dresses or parties, we had a wonderful time. 

Now, fast forward a few years. It's her turn, she has found a man that she wants to spend the rest of her life with and has asked me to be the Matron of Honor next to her sister who is the Maid of honor with her cousin as a bridesmaid. I was very honored and accepted splitting the "duties" with her 15 year old sister.  No problems with the dresses and activities, we were all there and did our part to make her day the best day of her life. T

he wedding went off without a hitch and the reception was nice. All though I had to leave early and was not able to assist with the cleanup or watching the bride and groom leave the reception hall she was understanding and completely supportive. By the time I got home and was getting my children ready for bed she called and said that $700 was missing from her purse that was sitting (unattended) in the dressing room of the country club that the wedding and reception was held at and that she felt that I had taken it due to the fact that I knew that she had that money because I was with her all morning while she was getting her hair done and nails done etc. 

I was shocked. I was having problems and the money would have helped me out a GREAT deal but I WOULD NEVER! They went on their honeymoon and a few days later she called me to say that the money had not shown up and she still felt that I had part in the disappearance of it. I decided to tell her that I was no longer going to beat myself up about it and that I would have never taken money from her in anyway and that if she still felt that I had taken it that our friendship was over. I did not call her back and am still heartbroken to this day. 

It's 5 years later I have no clue if she is still married or if she has started her family. I have attempted to contact her a few times, but just can't seam to put my heart into it. I know that I did not take her money, I think that her new husband was intimidated by our closeness and made her find a way to get me out of her life. Well It worked.  Is 16 years of friendship worth 700$?    

PlainTacky0416-04


I have long hesitated to submit this story, thinking that you may not believe it.  But after reading some of the horrors on the site, I realize that truth really is stranger than fiction.  Submitted for your approval:   This wedding happened in the late 80's.  My friend's neighbor's daughter was getting married, and she enlisted my friend as a bridesmaid.  The wedding colors were blue and yellow, because those were the colors of the prom dresses belonging to the bridesmaids, which would be worn as bridal attendant gowns.  The bride's gown was borrowed, chosen for the style of the sleeves, as it was important that the sleeves would hide the name of the bride's last boyfriend, tattooed on her bicep.   

The wedding took place in the family's front yard.  The men of the family piled old tires around a bare patch in front of the steps to serve as seats, and threw blue and yellow toilet paper into the trees for decoration.  The refreshments consisted of cans of beer iced down in coolers (which also doubled as seats).    

The kicker?  During the ceremony, the bride's father kept running into the house to check the score of the football game.  At the end of the nuptials, he came onto the porch and delivered his "toast", declaring that a good omen had just transpired.  The marriage would be successful, he predicted, because the Saints had just won their game.   Ai-EEEEEeee! 

PlainTacky0506-04


A few months ago, one of my good friends co-workers got married. Apparently the wedding went dull, but fine (I wouldn’t know, I didn’t receive an invite, the bride thinks I’m weird), but what happened in the reception and after the ceremony is SO tacky, it really boggles the mind!

First you have to know that this particular couple are the perfect portrait of the token small town trailer trash—the only difference is that instead of hubby wearing the wife-beater, the new bride has a closet full of them. The now hubby worked (and still works) at a Bingo hall for several months; not having friends of their own outside of work, every single one of the people in their bridal party, was just co-workers who worked with him at the Bingo hall. Right down to the flower girl (who was the daughter of one of the Bingo Bridesmaids).

Right after their ceremony, they walked the WHOLE wedding party, guests and all, into this Bingo hall where he works, in the middle of the afternoon!! They took the party into a Bingo hall! Perhaps to show off or get well wishes from them?? Who knows! But how incredibly tacky is that??

PlainTacky0625-04


 

A few years ago, I attended a friend's wedding. The couple wanted to be married in a town 5 hours from where they lived; where they had no connections, no family there, they just liked the town. We were happy to make the long drive in order for the couple to have the wedding at their preferred location.

However, the dinner reception was in yet another town, an hour away. And following the reception, they asked everyone to come bowling with them at- you guessed it- the same town they had the ceremony. Another hour drive back. This wouldn't have been so bad had not all the guests had to drive several hours to attend in the first place.

(Although I might be out of order on this one), the bride wore a full length formal gown (suitable to an evening church wedding, and she was a very educated woman) to a casual outdoor wedding in the daytime where all the guests wore shorts and t-shirts. She insisted on fancy processional with music even though her "procession" consisted of six steps due to the cramped courtyard. There were several other nuances that gave us the impression that she wished she could have had a fancier wedding than she did. I know its the bride's day and she should wear and have what she wants, but it just made us all feel bad for her. There is nothing wrong with simple weddings. People come to celebrate your union. None of us cared much about the pomp and circumstance, but ended up feeling awkward about the whole situation.

PlainTacky0612-04


Page Last Updated May 15, 2007