Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jul-Dec 2000 Archive
Jan-Jul 2003 Archive
Jul-Dec 2003 Archive
Jan-Jun 2004 Archive
DH and I had a small wedding with 3 attendants each. His best
man was his only brother. Following the wedding, we had a reception in the
church hall. We took most of our pictures before the ceremony so the meal was
served about 30 minutes after the mass ended. Immediately after the meal, his
brother and his long time girlfriend got up to leave. I was very surprised that
they were leaving so early and asked them why (I now, of course, realize I never
should have questioned their desire to leave but I was young and rather ignorant
of proper etiquette). BIL’s girlfriend says they have to leave because they
have to get back to town in time for her to return the dress she was wearing!
She promptly pulled the tag out of the back of her dress to show me while
saying, “You didn’t think I would actually go out and BUY a dress just for
this, did you?”
My senior year of high school a long term friend decided to
marry her boyfriend. This was strange, considering the fact that she was 1)
still in high school on the date of the wedding 2) Not pregnant or anything that
Southern tradition would nod upon 3) she hand delivered invitations roughly two
weeks before the reception (Ok, we can't always find addresses or anything---but
couldn't you at least try? And yes--reception. The ceremony was courthouse
type.) This was just slightly strange/tacky. The reception got me.
First, she was dressed in a white prom dress( very nice) and
some of the guest were dressed for a nice, casual wedding. The majority of the
guest however? Ratty jeans and t-shirts. We wait around talking for the groom to
show up with the food since he and his friends were cooking it all (it was
actually good). What do they show up in? Jeans and ratty t-shirts, tattoos on
display. But, they brought the food--and the kegs. This is what got me. She was
trying to act very classy and important for getting married (she shamed us for
not knowing how to fill out RSVP cards) and she had not ONE, but THREE kegs. I'm
not against alcohol at weddings, but kegs? Isn't that reserved for Frat parties?
Needless to say, many people there got very, very drunk. The MOB was so wasted,
that as they loaded the kegs, she tried to climb into the bed of the pickup
truck, demanding another beer.
And the cake cutting? Let's just say I spent half an hour in
the bathroom with the bride trying to wash cake out of her hair. Oh--and they
opened their gifts at the reception. MoG said it wasn't kosher. I informed her
of course not--it was redneck. I never received a thank you card for my gift
come to think of it. Oh well, I didn't expect one after that afternoon.
I was living with my mother a couple years ago, when one of my
step-father's friends got engaged. Mind you that they had been together for
about twenty years and had two children together. They were the epitome of
trailer trash. Anyways my mom and my stepfather were both in the wedding along
with their two kids. The wedding was to be held at a bowling alley not far from
our home. They wore a tux and full length gown. The ceremony was quite tacky not
to mention funny, but anyways the best was after the wedding they both changed
and the bride wore a pretty blue dress. The kicker was her now husband who is so
tacky comes out in a pair of bib overalls and a t-shirt that looked like a tux.
It was hysterical. The reception was in the same place or should I say, the same
room, as the wedding. While the bride and groom changed, me and my mom had to
reset the room so people could dance. There was no food and everyone was drunk
and stupid, including the groom, who didn't even go home with his
wife. Needless to say this was by far the tackiest wedding I have ever been to
or hope to attend in my life.
Here is a story about a wedding that, on the part of the bride
and groom, was very poorly planned, though not particularly rude. I think what
really took the cake, rudeness-wise, was the poor behavior of the guests. But
people might also benefit from seeing how poorly-planned an event can be.
In the first place, the bride and groom were upset at each
other, and grumpy all day long. They apparently had had a fight that morning.
The groom was also upset that at the last minute, he could not afford the make
and model of rental getaway car he really wanted, and had to settle for typical
rental car, which no one would have noticed were it not for his bitterly
complaining all morning about it-- the car looked fine to me.
After my friend "Andrew" and I (my friend was a
groomsman AS WELL AS the photographer-- meaning NO GROOMSMAN IN THE PHOTOS--
how's that for planning?) decorated the getaway car before the ceremony (Andrew
had bought the decorations as surprise), the groom saw the decorations and got
really angry and said it was sloppy and tacky and looked trashy. So we took off
most of the decorations. This did not cheer him up.
Then, the groom revealed that he had brought along his
videocamera and wanted the ceremony and reception recorded, but he had no
tripod, nor anyone lined up to do the videotaping. Andrew the
photographer/groomsman could not, since he was doing the regular photography.
Stupidly trying to cheer up the groom (btw, groom is an old high school friend
of mine), I volunteered to videotape the ceremony with his camera. This is 30
minutes before the ceremony, mind you! And suddenly I’m the videographer!
Ceremony goes relatively fine, except for bride and groom
can't stop scowling at each other-- could not drop whatever they had argued
about that morning-- and also the flower girl was not wearing a slip under her
dress and she really did need one. You could very clearly see her underpants
outline. There were about 40 people in attendance. My arms were sore from
holding the camera still, without a tripod, for an hour, but I worked really
hard to make the recording as artful and professional as possible (very long
ago, I did go to college for TV production), beginning and ending the entire
taping with the talented church piano player, zooming in and out and showing
appropriate faces at appropriate times, etc. I really put effort into it, so it
would turn out nicely.
Then we go downstairs to the church hall for some sort of
pre-reception reception, which confused me and which I did not expect to even
take place. But this pre-reception was really lovely, if simple-- a big sheet
cake and a fruit and cheese platter and punch, all set up by the Church Ladies'
Hospitality Club or whatever. It was really pretty, and nicely done except for
the use of disposable dishes and forks. People were cheerfully chatting and
having a lovely time. But then, when only half of all the food on platters had
been eaten, people abruptly start gathering their things and heading out for the
REAL reception, which was at a community center across town.
This community center had a big multipurpose room, with walls
of white-painted concrete blocks. This was the site of the real reception. The
center would not allow alcohol or candles, and also disallowed any taping of
decorations to their pristine white concrete block walls. It all looked very
sparse, and sound really bounced off that concrete!
Guests arrived and were sitting around, watching and waiting,
as family of the bride and groom were still setting up the reception tables and
chairs. Centerpieces were a wire candle holder with candle on them that, due to
the center's restrictions, could not be lit, and that's probably a good thing
because with any vibration or bump to the tables, the centerpieces toppled right
over, being poorly constructed and top-heavy with the unlit candles. We seemed
to sit around for an eternity with no food or drink, while the reception was
still being set up around us.
The wedding favors were those tiny bells you are supposed to
ring to have the bride and groom kiss. And there was nothing else to do so
people were sitting around absent mindedly ringing the bells, and for the kids,
that was all there was to play with. ALL AFTERNOOON AND EVENING, I want you to
imagine the constant noise of those damn little tinny bells, ringing and ringing
and ringing. People just would not let up, especially the kids, who were
understandably bored cranky and hungry. And the bridal couple was STILL annoyed
with each other and would not kiss when you rang the bells, anyhow. I sat around
close to two hours, listening to the start to DJ play, getting a headache from
the bell favors, slowly realizing as people trickle in that the reception is set
up for about 80 people, not 40. HALF THEIR GUESTS had skipped the ceremony and
only showed for the reception! Plus most guests were wearing absolutely the most
casual and sloppy of street clothes, including one young woman who was wearing
the same "rap-video-chic" camouflage-inspired hoochie outfit
(camouflage with rhinestones attached, that is) that I noticed she had also worn
one week previous, at the bridal shower. I wondered if that was the only outfit
Another woman who I recognized as a former high school
classmate of mine, was wearing ONLY the top half of a two-piece dress outfit, as
she must have thought it was some sort of micro-mini dress. She was dancing all
over the place in this garment, all afternoon, very dangerously close to showing
everyone present a clear view of her entire rear end.
Finally, the Church Ladies and family members appeared again,
with trays of homemade buffet food, which frankly, tasted terrible! The wedding
cake came out of a MallWart box in front of everyone. I ate 4 pieces, starving
because the dinner food was so gross.
At this point, other family members commandeered the video
camera away from me, and started passing it around, everyone taking turns
taping. Eventually, people are dancing, people with the video camera are
dancing, and then I notice some pre-teen cousins are alternately rewinding the
tape to see what’s been taped, then starting to tape again without putting the
tape back to the proper spot. THEY TAPED OVER MOST OF THE CEREMONY I HAD WORKED
SO HARD TO RECORD! The bride told the kids it was OK, and shrugged at me saying
it didn’t matter. It mattered to me-- I had worked hard on trying to create a
nice video for them. All I could think was that the video was probably
unviewable anyhow, with the audio being so full of those damn little bell noises
(even through the speeches, the bell ringers would not stop ringing the crappy
I would have left early but “Andrew” was my ride and had
to stay until the bitter end, when everyone had left and the bride and groom
released a bundle of helium balloons into the sky for ‘fun’ (I hate when
people do that-- it is basically littering via helium!). I don’t know why they
didn’t just have the pre-reception in the room under the church BE the ACTUAL
reception. It was 100 times nicer than the crummy dinner reception in the
community center, and they could have saved all the expense of the terrible
center, terrible food, terrible centerpieces and terrible DJ. People were happy
and fed at the pre-reception, and were all in a good mood. Sending everyone home
happy after the pre-reception would have been a much better end to their day!
After Andrew and I had helped the bride and groom shuttle
their gifts to their final destination (STILL grumpy and bitter at each other
and generally being irritating pills to be around), we went out to Wendy’s to
finally eat something. Also, no thank you notes were ever sent for the shower
and wedding gifts at this wedding.
The couple is still together and, although they have their
“moods,” they really are a lovely couple, just seem to be clueless about
etiquette matters. They have a cute little baby boy now.
I love your site. It sure has helped me learn what NOT to do
for my wedding! Anyway, the wedding I am writing about is my step cousin's,
Blondie. I was close to Blondie when I was very little, but as we grew older we
grew apart to the point that we didn't keep up with each other. However, when I
received an invitation to her wedding I was more than happy to attend.
As always, I arrived with my parents slightly early. While I
was not surprised to see two of my cousins, Blondie's half brothers, as ushers
dressed in tuxes, I was surprised to see a third usher dressed in a t-shirt and
jeans. He had been coming from out of town and his luggage was lost, and no one
had bothered to scrap together something more fitting. We took our seats,
however, and waited. We waited, and waited, and waited. The time for the wedding
to start came and went, with no Blondie. It was hot, and the church we were in
was not well ventilated, and eventually over the protestations of the wedding
planner we, all of the guests, the groom and the minister, ventured outside.
By this time I could tell that the groom was getting nervous
at the prospect of being stood up. He wasn't, however. An hour past the time
that the wedding was supposed to start, Blondie arrived with her sister Kate. We
all filtered back into the church and took our seats, but the wedding did not
start. Kate has a few decorative items in her car that absolutely had to be
arranged before the wedding could proceed.
No mention at all about why they are so late. No apologies
either. No matter, the wedding starts. Blondie is looking beautiful,
but she has gained weight, and she literally looks as though she is about to
burst out of her dress. To this day the best that we can figure is that her
dress no longer fit and they were late do to letting out seams to get her to fit
into it. The ceremony starts, and we are a bit miffed about having to swear to
God that Blondie and "Dagwood" are meant for each other. My
family is not religious and balked a bit of having to swear to God. My aunt (not
Blondie's stepmother) who is religious balked at having to swear that they
were meant for each other when she barely knew them as a couple. No matter, it
was their wedding.
The ceremony finishes. I see my other aunt (Blondie's
stepmother) outside, looking royally upset. I ask her what was wrong and she
says that she found that someone had stolen over $100 in cash from her purse!
Someone steps in to calm her now, and we make our way over to the reception. The
food was terrible. Due to the fact that the wedding had been so late in
starting, the food had been sitting out too long and had gone bad.
My mom and I sent my dad out to get us some sodas (I was
underage at the time, and my parents don't like the taste of alcohol), and he
came back with three SMALL cups of soda proclaiming that these are the only
drinks we're getting. They came at three dollars a glass! So hear we had this
awful food, and nothing to wash it down with, thrilling.
I will not even delve into Kate's behavior at the wedding,
other than to add that the guests started hiding from her. We left as soon as
the cake was cut. No one ever received a thank you note. To this day we all have
a good laugh over it, though.
Love the site! My etiquettehell story happened
several years ago. My boyfriend at the time was a student at a college a
few hours away from mine. He invited me to go to the wedding of a friend
of his in a small town several hours from his campus. The wedding had some
minor annoyances but nothing out of the ordinary (the church had no air
conditioning and it was July for example). However, the reception was
First off let me say that what annoyed my boyfriend the most
was that he hadn't been warned that there would be no alcohol or dancing, I
believe that it was against the bride's religion. Playing cards were
passed out with the bride and groom's names on them instead. Not my cup of
tea, but hey, it's not my wedding. What I found unbelievable was that
while the bridal party sat up on some sort of stage in the front of the room,
with linens, china and a catered meal the rest of us
(approx. 200 people) were served a very, very cheap buffet and sat at
cafeteria style tables. The room wasn't even decorated. While they
ate steak we ate macaroni and cheese! Now I can understand that the
bride was from a small town, wanted to invite a lot of people and didn't have a
huge budget for her wedding but for her to eat a meal completely different from
what she was serving her guests seemed just beyond rude. It was as if the
bridal party was at a different wedding then the one we were attending. If
macaroni & cheese is all you can afford, so be it, but that is what you
eat too! My boyfriend and I were shocked that anyone could be so dense but
we ended up laughing hysterically about in on the drive home.
This wedding was the most interesting one I’ve ever seen.
Christy and Steven were married this past Friday and the reception was held on
Saturday at the bar. We arrived at 12:10, and were told verbally (no physical
invitations were sent, despite being purchased by the Father of the Bride) that
the reception started at Noon. Upon arrival, we saw the groom, we’ll call him
Steven from here on out, hanging decorations. We showed up 10 minutes after they
told us to and they were still decorating the bar area. Not a big deal. At no
point does Christy or Steven actually come over to greet us. There weren’t
many people there yet, so it wasn’t like they were really making the rounds.
We kill some time by talking to Christy’s dad (my DH’s uncle).
Eventually Mary (Christy’s sister) comes over to us; she starts making the
introductions and manages to introduce us to Steven’s mother and father (who
were standing by themselves since they had arrived apparently).
In the course of conversation with Steven, I learned that his
real name is Stephan. No one but Christy calls him Steven, and that’s just
because she never learned/bothered to say it right. Throughout the entire
afternoon everyone is calling him Stephan, except for Christy. It was very
awkward, because I wrote the wrong name on the card, because Christy always
introduces him as Steven. She has never called him Stephan, ever apparently.
(Apparently, it isn’t imperative that the bride actually know the groom’s
Okay so then we get to the eating part at about 2 PM. It
was a cash bar, and cash soda drinks too, but not that big of a deal. The food
was awful. It was over garlicked potatoes, green beans, and some god awful meat.
But whatever, I had a roll and figured DH and I would eat after leaving. It was
fantastic, because the venue was a bar. So the entire room was filled with
other people who were constantly smoking (this includes
some members of the “Bridal Party”). So we were all eating dinner/lunch at
2PM in a poorly ventilated smoky bar. Let’s just say I’ve had better meals
at MickeyD’s. FWIW I don’t care if people smoke if it really bothers me that
much I’ll move and it normally doesn’t. It would have been nice if the
entire venue wasn’t a smoke filled bar, especially when the Bride is pregnant,
Christy and Steven have their first dance, which was really
awkward. Apparently Steven didn’t know it was their song, or something because
he said so and looked so confused for a while. There was no DJ so it was one
friend playing a song from a CD <<insert large gap of time without
music>> and then more songs. Before that friend showed up people were
using their quarters to play songs from the jukebox. You had to pay to fill the
endless silence, since apparently the bride and groom couldn’t have burned
some CD’s in advance and put them on rotate or
something. And there was a huge dance floor, because it was a country bar, but
no one danced at any point, except for the family dances. It was really
Now the speeches were just mildly hysterical. They started out
with Christy’s dad giving a speech, which was all of 2 sentences long. “I
wish you both a very (you’d think he was going to say happy, and that’s what
he started out saying) long married life. Live long and prosper.” He didn’t
do the finger thing, but it was really weird because neither the bride, the
groom, nor the bride’s father is a trekkie. It was obvious that he just had no
idea what to say.
Onto the bride’s speech which was 3 sentences…She thanked
Mary for putting everything together and all the guests for attending. And at no
point did she mention the groom or her marriage, or love or anything even
remotely mushy. It was WEIRD. The groom did a fairly decent job. He introduced
himself as Stephan and thanked everyone for attending and
said I love you to the bride at the very end. He tried and I appreciate
After the speeches, cake was served, but most of the people
didn’t know it because no announcement was made. We were all sitting on our
bar stools and at our bar tables oblivious when people came over and offered us
cake. And apparently they did the cake smashing. The cake and all the food and
the champagne in small plastic medicine cups was really just awful. I
understand that people try to cut corners on the food, but sometimes it’s just
inedible. We left shortly after cake, since there was no dancing and we didn’t
want to pay to put on music from the jukebox.
As we were saying our goodbyes to the bride and groom and the
family, Christy asked me when baby showers normally occur. I said about 2 to the
3 months before the baby is born, but of course you shouldn’t be planning your
shower yourself, someone else is supposed to do that. She walks
right over to her sister Mary, who had just planned the reception and the bridal
shower and everything, and said, “I need a baby shower, when are you going to
do that?” I kid you not! I gave Mary a hug and we left. Mary and I will
be hanging out this Friday and I really feel for her. This was the
tackiest wedding I’ve ever been to. FWIW I wore jeans, and the majority of
other people did too (including the Bride's father), so I wasn’t out of
place at all (after all we were at a bar). We wound up giving a $30 gift card to
Target, which was a typical amount. Everything worked out okay for us, but I
really hope Christy bothers to learn his name soon enough.
Page Last Updated July 30, 2007