When my sister and her husband got married the best man was the brother of the
groom. As the reception went on he proceeded to get more and more drunk not paying heed to
others reminding him that he was responsible for making a toast to the happy couple. When
the time came he was swaying back and forth. He started off with well meaning but slurred
words of congratulations but his words soon made a complete turn.
My sister's husband is a very attractive and has a very magnetic personality.
His brother has not been blessed with the same characteristics. He started to say what a
lucky guy the groom was having such a pretty wife. (a pretty standard thing for anyone to
say to the groom at a wedding) He continued on slurring that he was never that lucky
"Robert" always got all the pretty girls when they were growing up.
"Robert" was always the one who got invited to parties, had tons of chicks
hanging around and always was the one who got laid. He kept whining that even the parents
liked "Robert" better and that "Robert had more friends and more toys when
they were little".
The best man went on like that for a good ten minutes until he started crying
and I took the microphone from his hand and another guest lead him outside to calm him
down. The whole room was silent. It was very a very uncomfortable situation for everyone.
I felt really sorry for the bride and groom and I could see my sister looking at the groom
sideways thinking " always got laid?" I'm sure she interrogated him later bur I
I read all of the stories listed on your website and I must confess, I fear for
my own wedding in June of 2000. However, I have a tidbit I just MUST share.
A very old, very dear friend of mine recently wed. She had little time to plan,
but managed to survive. The bride and groom paid for the wedding themselves and it was
simple but sweet. When it came time for the best man to give his obligatory toast, all
eyes and ears were tuned. I couldn't ascertain whether this man had imbibed too much, but
for what he did there is no excuse. His speech began eloquently with him recounting his
lengthy, strong, bonded relationship with the groom. There wasn't a dry eye. As he was
winding down, he raised his champagne flute and stated: "From my heart, I wish Tom
and Michelle the happiest fulfillment of life and love."
PROBLEM? The bride's name was SAMANTHA (of course names have been changed)!
MICHELLE was Tom's psychotic ex-girlfriend...the same woman Samantha had to protect
herself from by getting a restraining order against her!
After his faux pas, no one drew breath. We all waited for what would occur
next. With grace and composure, Samantha corrected him by saying: "You mean Tom and
SAMANTHA." The cad should have been dragged out by his ears. Later, as Tom and
Samantha were cutting the cake, the best man got his just desserts. Samantha, instead of
forcing cake on Tom, shoved an entire plate of cake in the best man's face! That's my
I was recently surprised when, at a recent bachelor party for a college
acquaintance, 2 female strippers showed up. Within an hour, these women were having things
performed on them and vice versa - right in front of everyone in the living room.
It gets more horrific... the brother of the groom actually paid one of them to
have intercourse with the groom. The groom actually did this IN FRONT OF the 20 or so guys
who were there! It's repulsive that not only did the groom shake off concerns raised by
some of us, but he actually had the gall to JOKE about it in his speech at the wedding! He
stated specifically, "One of the things I love about *bride* is her innocence and
acceptance of me. Heck, I could go do a stripper and she would love me still!"
The 3 groomsmen and several of the other males who had been there burst out
laughing! He completely degraded her in front of everyone - all of the guests had
speculated about what he had likely done for most of the night. (This is not only terrible
"etiquette" but also just plain sickness).
This is a wedding toast from hell . . .
The wedding was nice, but the reception was held in what was basically a large,
aluminum shed with a concrete floor. When the wind blew (it was November and quite cold),
the aluminum not only rattled, but also let in quite a few drafts. Anyway, it's time for
the toast to the new couple. The best man stands up and gives the typical toast of
"long and happy life, know the couple was meant to be, etc." Then, as his
conclusion, he offered some advice to the groom. He said, (and I quote), "My last bit
of advice to you, Sam, is that you should never trust something that bleeds for five days
every month and doesn't die."
My fiancé and and I were completely speechless. The toast was followed by a
brief moment of silence which we assumed was shock. We then waited for someone to quickly
and quietly escort the best man out the door, never to be seen again. Instead, much to our
amazement, the silence was followed by hysterical laughter. And the two people who seemed
most amused - the bride and her grandmother!
I was at a wedding last month and witnessed this....After a very tearful and
emotional ceremony, the best man gave a toast and then the DJ invited other guests who
would like to say a few words to come up. After a brief speech by the bride's 90 yr. old
grandfather, an usher stood up and said "May all your ups and down's be in bed."
The entire room was silent!