Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


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When my sister and her husband got married the best man was the brother of the groom. As the reception went on he proceeded to get more and more drunk not paying heed to others reminding him that he was responsible for making a toast to the happy couple. When the time came he was swaying back and forth. He started off with well meaning but slurred words of congratulations but his words soon made a complete turn.

My sister's husband is a very attractive and has a very magnetic personality. His brother has not been blessed with the same characteristics. He started to say what a lucky guy the groom was having such a pretty wife. (a pretty standard thing for anyone to say to the groom at a wedding) He continued on slurring that he was never that lucky "Robert" always got all the pretty girls when they were growing up.
"Robert" was always the one who got invited to parties, had tons of chicks hanging around and always was the one who got laid. He kept whining that even the parents liked "Robert" better and that "Robert had more friends and more toys when they were little".

The best man went on like that for a good ten minutes until he started crying and I took the microphone from his hand and another guest lead him outside to calm him down. The whole room was silent. It was very a very uncomfortable situation for everyone. I felt really sorry for the bride and groom and I could see my sister looking at the groom sideways thinking " always got laid?" I'm sure she interrogated him later bur I never asked.

I read all of the stories listed on your website and I must confess, I fear for my own wedding in June of 2000. However, I have a tidbit I just MUST share.

A very old, very dear friend of mine recently wed. She had little time to plan, but managed to survive. The bride and groom paid for the wedding themselves and it was simple but sweet. When it came time for the best man to give his obligatory toast, all eyes and ears were tuned. I couldn't ascertain whether this man had imbibed too much, but for what he did there is no excuse. His speech began eloquently with him recounting his lengthy, strong, bonded relationship with the groom. There wasn't a dry eye. As he was winding down, he raised his champagne flute and stated: "From my heart, I wish Tom and Michelle the happiest fulfillment of life and love."

PROBLEM? The bride's name was SAMANTHA (of course names have been changed)! MICHELLE was Tom's psychotic ex-girlfriend...the same woman Samantha had to protect herself from by getting a restraining order against her!

After his faux pas, no one drew breath. We all waited for what would occur next. With grace and composure, Samantha corrected him by saying: "You mean Tom and SAMANTHA." The cad should have been dragged out by his ears. Later, as Tom and Samantha were cutting the cake, the best man got his just desserts. Samantha, instead of forcing cake on Tom, shoved an entire plate of cake in the best man's face! That's my girl!

I was recently surprised when, at a recent bachelor party for a college acquaintance, 2 female strippers showed up. Within an hour, these women were having things performed on them and vice versa - right in front of everyone in the living room.

It gets more horrific... the brother of the groom actually paid one of them to have intercourse with the groom. The groom actually did this IN FRONT OF the 20 or so guys who were there! It's repulsive that not only did the groom shake off concerns raised by some of us, but he actually had the gall to JOKE about it in his speech at the wedding! He stated specifically, "One of the things I love about *bride* is her innocence and acceptance of me. Heck, I could go do a stripper and she would love me still!"

The 3 groomsmen and several of the other males who had been there burst out laughing! He completely degraded her in front of everyone - all of the guests had speculated about what he had likely done for most of the night. (This is not only terrible "etiquette" but also just plain sickness).


This is a wedding toast from hell . . .

The wedding was nice, but the reception was held in what was basically a large, aluminum shed with a concrete floor. When the wind blew (it was November and quite cold), the aluminum not only rattled, but also let in quite a few drafts. Anyway, it's time for the toast to the new couple. The best man stands up and gives the typical toast of "long and happy life, know the couple was meant to be, etc." Then, as his conclusion, he offered some advice to the groom. He said, (and I quote), "My last bit of advice to you, Sam, is that you should never trust something that bleeds for five days every month and doesn't die."

My fiancé and and I were completely speechless. The toast was followed by a brief moment of silence which we assumed was shock. We then waited for someone to quickly and quietly escort the best man out the door, never to be seen again. Instead, much to our amazement, the silence was followed by hysterical laughter. And the two people who seemed most amused - the bride and her grandmother!

I was at a wedding last month and witnessed this....After a very tearful and emotional ceremony, the best man gave a toast and then the DJ invited other guests who would like to say a few words to come up. After a brief speech by the bride's 90 yr. old grandfather, an usher stood up and said "May all your ups and down's be in bed." The entire room was silent!