TACKY TOASTS

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Someone I went to high school with got married.  The wedding was very non-traditional with random readings and passages from a number of publications.  The thing that set the tone for the reception was the toast by the mother-of-the-bride.  She began her toast by telling everyone that the bride and groom had one thing in common - that they were both breastfed!  I don't remember anything else in her speech after that!

Toasts0119-05

This is a story about a toast at my brother's wedding. Two things about my brother - 1. he's pretty sensitive, 2. he has a tough time making decisions, and is always worried if he's doing the right thing or not.

So the MOH at the wedding, who was a close friend of both brother and FSIL decided to run her toast by the wedding party - she wants to say something like "(Brother) never made a decision easily, so if he decided to propose, it had to be right." We all think that this is sweet, and not anything he'd be upset by.

At the wedding, this toast accidentally comes out "(Brother) never made a decision WELL". Poor MOH turned beat red an quickly corrected herself.

No harm was done though, as everybody (including my brother) understood what she was trying to say, and laughed.

She apologized during the reception, and he told her that he knew it was a flub, and thought the toast was very sweet.

Toasts0224-05

At my wedding, my sister in law had basically appointed herself to be the maid of honor, even though when I had asked my three attendants to be in my wedding, I stressed that I did not want a maid of honor, because they were all equally important to me. One attendant was a good friend from junior high, and she had mentioned several times that it was her intention to do the toast, and I was very pleased with that decision, given the fact that she had known me for 8+ years. Unbeknownst to me, my sister in law decided that she would do it instead, so my friend agreed to step down two days before the wedding, but gave her several of her notes. Instead of using them, my sister in law wrote her speech between the ceremony and the reception. Her speech mostly contained complaints about how early we had to get up that morning, how I was stealing her baby brother away from her, how she had to pee (!) for most of the day, but couldn't find time to....it was appalling, and guests still talk about it to this day! And now with her wedding 3 months away, as her maid of honor, I guess it will be up to me to come up with something so eloquent!

Toasts0413-05

When my fiancé's brother got married, I was a bridesmaid in the wedding. The reception was so boring (very conservative religious family on the bride's side = no dancing, alcohol, or music because they are sinful). However when the bride's father got up to make a speech, it went something like this: "I remember when XXX's mother and I were driving to the hospital for her to give birth to XXX, we still had not decided on a girl's name for the new baby. There was a commercial on the radio for a fundraiser for 'XXX's School for the Retarded' so we decided then and there to name her XXX." I just sat there with my jaw open in shock, and felt so embarrassed for the bride. What a great speech at the wedding, dad! Such an inspiring toast to the newly weds.

Toasts0622-05