Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


Main Page/Home

The Faux Pas Archives
Wedding Etiquette

Bridesmaids and Beastmen
Bridal Showers
Bridezillas and Groomonsters
Faux Pas of the Year
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme
Guests From Hell
Tacky Invitations
Wedding Rugrats
Just Plain Tacky
Tacky Toasts
Thank You Notes From Hell
Tacky Vendors
Wedding From Hell
Wicked Witches of the Wedding
Perfect Bride
Bridesmaid Dress Incinerator



Everyday Etiquette

Baby Showers
The Dating Game
Ooops! Foot in Mouth Disease
Funeral Etiquette
Gimme Hell
Holiday Hell
Just Plain Tacky
It's all Relatives
Every Day RugRats
Road Rage

Business Etiquette

Bad Business Etiquette
Merchants of Etiquette Hell
Bad Bosses

Faux Pas of the Year




Press Room/Contact


Thank you Notes from Hell

Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jul-Dec 2000 Archive
2000 Archive
2001 Archive
2002 Archive
Jan-Jul 2003 Archive
Jul-Dec 2003 Archive
Jan-Jun 2004 Archive
Jul-Dec 2004 Archive
Jan-Jun 2005 Archive
Jul-Dec 2005 Archive
2006 Archive


Cheers to you for constantly working to stamp out the "one year" myth. I can't tell you how many times I've received a brief, generic note 11 3/4 months after the (modestly attended) wedding. One like, "Thank you for your generous and thoughtful gift. We will enjoy it." Probably the highlight was when we attended a wedding of the son of friends. A year or so later, we received a preprinted (!) card that stated, "Bert" and "Ernette" thank you for your gift of _________ [item handwritten in]. {Signed}, Ernette.

When my DH of 13 years and I got married, we had two bridal showers thrown for us (didn't ask for 'em, but got 'em), and then, of course, the wedding. We had our non-generic notes written and posted within a week of each shower and two weeks of the wedding.

Come on, folks, writing thank you notes is not like having surgery without anesthetic.



My step sister was planning a wedding near our home town. The bridal shower was huge and had around 100 people in attendance. I helped more with the clean-up of the party while her bratty bridesmaids sat around and looked bored, then left without helping carry out the mammoth amount of gifts to the cars (Thank God there was an elevator). A month later the wedding had over 300 people easy, nice wedding and good food. Fast forward three months after the wedding, in the mail arrives a Wal-mart style picture greeting card that thanked the person for their gift. It had a wedding picture of the couple and the pre-printed message, it was not even hand signed! We had given them 200 dollars, on top of outfits and hotel room for the night and ALL we get was a crappy picture with a preprinted message!! We are family! They invited so many people and could not be bothered to personally thank then for their time and gifts. There were NO thank yous from the shower gifts! All those people were not thanked as well.



I was recently in my brothers wedding... We were all asked not to give gifts as their groomsmen suits and attire were far more then most.  Anyhow, it was her second... Still all the bells and whistles were to be taken out. A small shower (her second now!) was to be large (many of whom were invited did not attend) If it weren't for our large family no one would have attended.

Then the bachelorette party which they wanted to rent limos, go to dinner, then dancing at an expensive place of which we were to pay for. Well needless to say I declined. I know when accept we accept what ever the BRIDE wants. But when the plans change and the expense gets to 5 x what it should have and was said to be. I did contact the bride and let her know she may want to replace me (this was prior to getting the gowns). She said no way even after I let her know the expense was far more then what I had expected when I accepted, and let her know why. I did not want hard feeling on either end so I talked to them. 

Well, come to rehearsal day, I knew the maid of honor would not be giving the bag of goodies that the bride should receive after wedding and honeymoon. So I took care of it along with a gift for her grandmother who had hosted all the parties (we paid for decorating and food) but she was so surprised and overwhelmed that someone actually thought to give the host a gift she cried. Bear in mind this is a family who is up to do and should know, expects it from others to them! 

On the day of the wedding I gave only a card. We did receive wedding party gifts after dinner along with a cute and very thoughtful card. However, I guess I assumed that after the wedding all who attended were to be sent thanks again. They sent only thank you cards to people who gave at the wedding. I had asked a few others if they had received their card as I thought possible my honesty of not wanting or being able to spend the amount of money for limos and all had offended her after all. Not ONE of my family had received thank you cards. I finally got up the nerve to ask my brother about it and the holy wars started. She told him that he agreed they would send only to the ones who had given... and none of my family had. Now I was pissed!! My mother-in-law was invited and attended and I know she gives nicely! I know my sister gave! I gave a card & the gifts the maid of honor should have, purchased flowers to use at wedding made arrangements that she loved then was told they were too expensive and they went out and paid a florist to make arrangements using photos of what I made! Mine were cost @ approx. $5 for two.

I'm sorry but I'm completely insulted! I feel if people take time out to attend a formal affair like this whether they can afford or choose to give a gift, they should be thanked for attending and helping make their day so special. Their comments were, "Why should I thank them for coming and eating my FREE food, drinking my FREE beer!?" They act insulted people attended some from hours away. Would it have hurt them to send thanks saying "Thank you for joining us on our wedding day, just being there with us meant so much!" 



I got to be very good friends with one of my co-workers.  Through hanging out with her, I got to know her sister as well.  When I was told her sister got engaged, I bought her your book and put a little note in there about how the book was funny and I thought she'd like it.  The kicker?  No thank you note!


This thank you note from hell incident actually happened to my sister.  She was invited to a wedding of a friend from high school but could not attend because it was the same day as one of our other sister's wedding.  She sent a beautiful gift instead.  She never received a thank you note.  

Months went by and she met up with the MOH (who she is good friends with).  She asks MOH does she know if the bride ever received the gift my sister sent to bride's mother's house.  MOH says yes, she remembers bride opening it the day after the wedding, but my sister should probably not expect a thank you.  Why?  To save on postage, the bride wrote generic "thanks for coming to my wedding and thanks for the gift" and put them out and people's place settings at the wedding dinner.  I was taught that a thank you note should specifically mention the gift.  Furthermore, why would the bride ASSUME that everyone that came to the wedding automatically brought a gift?  I thought we invited people to celebrate our marriage, not invited people to "bring me a gift".  The interesting thing, is that the mother of this bride is the sweetest, most generous, nicest woman you would ever know. 


A couple of years ago my husband and I received a wedding invitation to a cousin of his containing registry information. Since we lived several states away and did not have the funds to make the trip, we sent them a gift. I sat down at the computer and checked out the registry they had. I saw a coffeemaker on the list that we considered quite nice and within our budget, so I bought it and had it shipped to them. 

Not long after the wedding we received a thank you note. How nice I thought until I read it. It said, "Thank you for the coffeemaker even though we don’t drink coffee." I said to my husband, if they don’t drink coffee why did they register for it?!



Page Last Updated October 11, 2008