Witches of the Weddings
Momsters, Smothers of
the Bride or Groom, SIniSTER/SIniSTERs-in-Law, Bothers/Bothers-in-Law and Dadulas
Jeanne, I love your site. I've only been to one wedding from hell, but it's a doozy.
Luckily, neither the bride nor the groom were part of the problem.
To begin with, I should explain that I grew up in a Ukrainian-Canadian family. The
etiquette of Ukrainian weddings is strikingly different than that of English weddings; for
example, guests are expected to bring their gifts to the reception, where the bride and
groom open them as part of the festivities. (Of course, nobody would ever be turned away
or made to feel embarrassed at a wedding for not bringing a gift.) Unfortunately, never
having been to an English-style wedding before, I had no idea that the English way of
doing things was so different.
I found out when I was invited to the wedding of a male friend of mine. Not knowing it
was the wrong thing to do, I took the gift with me to the reception. When I brought it up
to the tables where the other gifts were displayed, the MOB stared at me as if I'd grown
another head and chewed me out in front of all the guests for not sending the gift
beforehand. She went up one side of me and down the other, calling me everything from a
hillbilly to a Bohunk idiot. (Bohunk is to Ukrainian-Canadians as the "n" word
is to black Canadians.)
You can imagine how I felt! I was humilated and heartbroken, and left in tears. The
next day, the groom's brother visited me at home, apologized, and returned my gift, which
had been tossed into the garbage unopened by the MOB. He also told me that the MOB made me
the 'running joke' of the reception. The bride wrote me to apologize (she's a sweetheart),
but her mother has never once even admitted she was in the wrong.
Back in 1981 I married my first wife and all went well until the reception.
During the bride's dance, my new mother-in-law approached me and engaged in conversation.
She said the usual stuff like " Welcome to the family."... We talked for a short
time when all of a sudden she lowered her voice and said, "I give this marriage a
year." From that moment on it was pure hell to be a part of that
I stumbled upon your sight while in the process of
planning my wedding. It is hilarious. But I have to say the story of my best friend's
mother-in-law tops them all....
My best friend comes from a very respectable family. They are the
kindest of people and they are always polite and well-mannered. When my best friend got
married her mother and father graciously offered to foot the bill. They hosted a wonderful
event from the church ceremony to the garden reception. It was a truly memorable wedding.
They went out of their way to be gracious and make sure all of their guests were
Unfortunately, my best friend was not so lucky to fall in love
will a man who had a similar family background. Actually, his family is fine, it's one
particular person from the family that lacks the most remote inkling of social graces -
My best friend and her husband were young when they got married,
and had very little money of their own at the time. Her husband, (then fiance) politely
asked his mother if she would be able to contribute something towards the honeymoon, since
it was the responsibility of the groom's family to pay for this and the bride's family was
pretty much paying for everything else. She rudely shouted ,"Pay for it
yourself!" (This woman gets huge alimony payments from her ex-husband and could have
easily afforded to give a little something). So after this they accepted that they would
not be able to have a honeymoon and would wait to have a "postponed honeymoon"
in the future when they had more money.
After her ex-husband heard that they were not having a honeymoon
because the mother refused to help at all, he offered to pay for the entire thing (even
though he has no blood relation to the groom). They were overjoyed with his generosity and
OK - here is where this story starts to get good. They were going
to go to the mountains for thier honeymoon. They were married in January and it would be
snowing where they were headed. They did not own the type of car that could safely make it
up a mountain road in the snow so they asked the mother-in-law if they could borrow her
nice 4X4 vehicle for the 4 days of their honeymoon. They would trade her for their car for
the four days so that she would have transportation. You would think she would be
concerned primarily about her son's saftey but that was the last thing on her mind. She
said that their car WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH for her and that she would only accept the BRIDE'S
PARENTS BMW as a trade for the four days. Well, the bride's parents said no because they
thought that this was a rude and unreasonable request - not to mention they didn't trust
her with their car.
Then the mother-in-law said that she would only let them borrow
her car if they GAVE HER the set of brand new tires that they had just put on their car (a
major expense for this new couple starting out that had to be put on a credit card). Since
they felt this was all they could do to have a honeymoon they agreed and swapped her old
tires for their brand-new tires.
You think THIS is bad...it gets worse...way worse. Two days
before the wedding she anounces that SHE WILL BE GOING ON THE HONEYMOON WITH THEM! I kid
you not- this is a true (painfully true) story. They had booked a honeymoon suite with one
bed (obiviously) in a hotel that was booked full. My best friend, the bride, tried to
politely explain that there was only one bed and that they wanted PRIVACY on their
honeymoon. She said she didn't mind SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR!!!! The groom was so mortified
he couldn't even bring himself to talk to her about it. The bride finally said,
"No- we are going by ourselves". So then the mother-in-law from hell demanded
that she go on the honeymoon OR ELSE they would not be able to use her car! This after
they had already traded her for the set of four tires just for the use of the car! The
bride was in tears with only two days before the wedding and this psycho mom tormenting
her. They decided that they would rather not go at all then have mom tag along on the
The bride's family felt so bad about it they made arrangement to
pay for a 4X4 for the 4 days of the honeymoon even though all of their money (and then
some) had already been exhausted from the large wedding ( a large wedding mainly because
of the mother-in-laws extensive guest list which included all of her friends that the
bride and groom had never even met before.)
And now the grand finale. She KEPT THE TIRES even after they
asked for them back. Not only could she not do one kind thing to help them but she
basically stole from them on their wedding day! She said it was their choice not to take
her on the honeymoon and that she would call the cops on them if they tried to remove the
tires. They decided it wasn't worth their effort to deal with her antics anymore and she
is still driving with their tires on her car to this day. UNREAL!!!
My best friend (we'll call her Annie) got married last summer. Her and her now husband
had only been dating a few weeks.Annie's stepmother (we'll call her Carol) decided that
she would run the show (because she doesn't really like Annie). Nothing that Annie wanted
was even given credibility. And much to Annie's dismay her little stepsisters were in her
wedding. The worst part was that a few members of the family took lessons from Carol.
Annie's uncle was the officiating, and her aunt was a self proclaimed wedding coordinator
(she also made the cake).
When we did the wedding rehearsal, the aunt decided how things would be and where
people would stand. A few of us bridesmaids tried to tell the aunt to listen to Annie.
When Annie started crying (which she doesn't do often) and the aunt FINALLY relented.
The day of the wedding, things weren't going very well. They were getting married about
35 miles (45 min.) from where Annie lived with her dad, and stepmother. Someone discovered
the veil, was at the house with only 1 hour left before the ceremony was about to begin.
Annie was being very calm for a bride.
During the ceremony her two stepsisters kinda ruined it for Annie. The oldest one was
dressed like a tramp. She wore a short dress, not the one Annie picked out for her, high
heals, and lots of make-up. The youngest one also didn't wear the dress Annie picked out,
and plastic summer sandles. It looked so tacky. Annie was a good sport though. And the
wedding was really wonderful, but could have done with out the stepmother.
This really happened. I am sorry to say that it was in my own wedding some fourteen
My fiance was in the military, so he was stationed somewhere else. His mother and
siblings lived here in town...so my parents invited them over for dinner...as a nice
gesture to get to know them and talk about wedding plans.
We cooked a wonderful meal...making sure everything was just perfect. We planned for
the wedding. She told us that since she was a single parent she could put on the rehearsal
dinner but not be able to pay for his brothers tux or sisters dress, or anything else. I
was waitressing at the time and agreed to pick up these expenses, since I knew that it was
important for my fiance have his siblings in the wedding. After dessert, she pushed her
chair away from the table and starting to pull up her shirt, thanking us for the
"great grub",got her coat and left. A few minutes later...she knocked at the
door and asked if we needed to get rid of the left overs...she would be happy to oblige.
We paid for all of the wedding...my parents and I . She never showed up for the bridal
shower. She never offered to help decorate...and the day before the wedding...she called
to cancel the rehearsal dinner. We ran to the store and bought stuff to make lasagna
and an Italian meal. She had the gall to show up at the dinner. Can you imagine?
The next day, she refused to stand in the receiving line. My mom took her in the hall
and had a little talk with her. She reluctantly agreed, and stood next to me. As people
came through the line...she asked if they had ever been to my parents home.
"Yes, indeed, my son got himself a rich b*tch and would reap the benefits!"
These weren't her friends and family...it was also our family friends. (Mind you, we were
not rich at all...I had two parents who both worked...but they had four kids to
support...) Sister, whom I paid for the dress, never even came through the line to say
thank you, or congrats...nothing!!!
Soon we had our dance...then the d.j. announced a dollar dance that wasn't on the game
plan. We did the dollar dance...not knowing quite what was going on...and after that
hubby's mom came up and asked hubby for the money since it had been her idea. She needed
gas to get home. Stupid Hubby gave it to her.
His mother then went and asked my father if he wanted to go out to dinner with her and
then they could go on a little honeymoon of their own. My dad of course turned down her
We didn't get a card or gift from his mom, since she was so broke...but that was okay
because one wasn't expected of our guests. Upon talking to my hubby's father who had
divorced her fifteen years earlier...he asked hubby why he and his current wife hadn't
received a thank you note for their gift or contribution to the rehearsal dinner. He and
wife had sent money to Stephanie (the Mother of the Groom) to put on the rehearsal dinner
when she called crying that she couldn't afford her half. He agreed to foot the whole
bill...and sent her $1,500. Her half and his half. (He wasn't able to attend the wedding,
recovering from a bi-pass surgary and lived over 3,000 miles away).
He ordered a set of china from the Cresent...and paid for it via Mastercard...and put
her name on it to pick it up in our own town so that it would get to us unharmed as it
could through the mail, and to avoid shipping and handling charges.
We never did get his gift...and we never did get the dinner that he paid for. I WAS
livid...so I called his mom...who denied all of it. FIL sent me the money order duplicate,
and mastercard slip for the dishes. So I confronted her again. She said that my parents
were so rich we didn't need their help...we could do it all on her own. She had a friend
of hubby's sister take the china back for a refund...saying that it was a duplicate gift.
My hubby ended up leaving me...There is a God!!!! It is okay...he was a lot like his
mother with the sneaky ways and no manners. NOBODY CAN TOP THAT STORY, EVER!!!