Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


Main Page/Home

The Faux Pas Archives
Wedding Etiquette

Bridesmaids and Beastmen
Bridal Showers
Bridezillas and Groomonsters
Faux Pas of the Year
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme
Guests From Hell
Tacky Invitations
Wedding Rugrats
Just Plain Tacky
Tacky Toasts
Thank You Notes From Hell
Tacky Vendors
Wedding From Hell
Wicked Witches of the Wedding
Perfect Bride
Bridesmaid Dress Incinerator



Everyday Etiquette

Baby Showers
The Dating Game
Ooops! Foot in Mouth Disease
Funeral Etiquette
Gimme Hell
Holiday Hell
Just Plain Tacky
It's all Relatives
Every Day RugRats
Road Rage

Business Etiquette

Bad Business Etiquette
Merchants of Etiquette Hell
Bad Bosses

Faux Pas of the Year




Press Room/Contact


Wicked Witches of the Weddings

Momsters, Smothers of the Bride or Groom, SIniSTER/SIniSTERs-in-Law, Bothers/Bothers-in-Law and Dadulas

Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jun-Dec 2000 Archive

I have a good one - my best friend's MIL did her best to ruin "Anne's" beautiful wedding. The wedding was on a perfect summer day, in a small town chosen for it's incredible scenery and in the ruins of coach house right on a waterfall. We would have lunch at the inn following the ceremony.

It was a very intimate gathering, about 35 people, and we were seated in the coach house (which was crumbled walls and open air - beautiful), before the ceremony and the sun was very hot. While we sat, listening to the lovely string quartet, a guest (who is Vietnamese and has lived here for about 10 years) opened a parasol to shade herself from the sun. The MIL was sitting behind her and a couple over from me. She tapped "Ling" on the shoulder and told her she couldn't see over the parasol. Ling very politely said she would certainly put it down before the ceremony started, about 10 more minutes.

MIL looked peeved, and said "Do you speak English? I can't see"! Ling stared at her for a second and turned her back. MIL leaned over to me and said loudly "Does that Chinese girl speak English? She won't put her parasol down! Tell that rude thing to put it down!". Everyone just cringed. This is just the beginning.

After the lovely ceremony (which was very short) we mingled in the coach house while waiters passed expensive French champagne. My husband took two glasses from the tray and offered one to MIL who was standing right next to him. She refused, saying "I have lived in France, and only drink champagne there. They only export the garbage". This was deliberately loud enough for the brides' poor mother to hear. My husband just as loudly said he thought the champagne was wonderful, and he could certainly find a taker for the other glass (god bless him).

At lunch she made a scene because she didn't feel "honored" in the seating arrangement, embarrassing everyone. There was no head table, and it was all very informal seating. She loudly told her son that the brides' family were extremely low class, and that she didn't deserve the treatment she was getting. My dear Anne is an unconventional girl, but she and her family have more class in their little fingers than this woman ever had! She sniffed and complained to whoever would listen through the rest of lunch, and refused to stand for a toast to the couple.

Before Anne and her husband left, she decided to throw the bouquet outside the inn. She let it fly, and her father unconsciously reached up and caught it. It was hilarious and we were all laughing and having a great time. MIL looked furious, said "MY GOD, SHE'S DRUNK!" at the top of her voice. The laughter died slowly, and she then demanded that her JUST MARRIED son take her home (a three hour drive)! He told her she would have to go with his brother, and she stomped to the car and slammed the door in front of everybody. Poor Anne, she was so concerned that this horrible woman ruined her wedding for everyone. She didn't, we all had a lovely time, but she certainly gave us something to talk about! Witches0309-01

My cousin is from a very wealthy family. He got married a few years back to a delightful woman from a working class family. It was a very expensive wedding and reception, and proof of what a friend of mine said a while ago - money doesn't change character, it reveals it. First, prior to the ceremony, the bride's mother kept going on and on, in a very loud voice, about what a fortunate match her daughter had made and how she was really stepping up in society and could provide for the mother's whole family now. Poor bride. She's a sweetheart and I thought she was going to cry. Then the groom's father joins in. He starts accusing the bride of tempting and seducing his son, and saying she didn't really love him, she was just after his money. (They'd been living together for eight years, for Pete's sake.) On top of all that, the groom's father then starts attacking his other son's wife, who was from a predominately Muslim country and had recently immigrated, for wearing an off-white dress to the wedding and "trying to make us all look bad." Of course, it had completely slipped everyone's mind to tell this woman about the white dress tradition, and she was very new to this country, so the bride didn't care at all. The bride and groom are still happily married. I think they bonded over parental horror stories.    Witches0312-01

My husband (of one year, at that time) and I were invited to the wedding of his sister's best friend from high school. She had been dating the same horrible man for a few years at this time, and spent the entire time overcoming his mother's objections. (For example, she converted to Catholicism just to be able to marry in a church, not out of any actual faith!)

The ceremony was much nicer than I had expected, a pretty, meaningful ceremony, for which the groom was, to everyone's amazement, NOT hung-over! But the groom's mother spent the entire ceremony crying. Not the gentle tears-of-joy weeping that many women indulge in at weddings, but SOBBING about her "little man."

The reception would've been no worse than average (with a DJ who insisted on things like the Chicken Dance, the Macarena, and playing "The Stripper" for the garter toss-- this without the bride and groom's knowledge or consent.) But when it came time for the mother-of-the-groom to dance with her son, she clung close to him, arms around his neck, actually grinding her hips into his. I have heard people say "I couldn't believe my eyes!" I literally couldn't. Sure that I was somehow imagining it, I whispered to my husband "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" He responded "(Groom's) mom dirty-dancing with him? I see it too." Behind me, my MIL couldn't keep in a "Good God!" The bride, being the Queen of De-Nial, smiled sweetly as if this were normal. Groom looked sheepish and let his mom grind against him until the song was finished. Had the bride and groom been dancing this way, in public, at an extremely formal wedding reception, we all would've put it down to them being newlyweds, and waved away the tackiness. But this was the groom's MOM! It was the longest three-and-a-half minutes of my life! Witches0313-01

Actually the story started way before the wedding. My brother got engaged to this very lovely Christian lady. She is so sweet and kind to everyone. The maternal side of my family hated her from day one for no good reason. My family had to have a bridal shower for her and they insisted that it be a party that would be embarrassing with teddies and baby dolls (lingerie) etc. for gifts then make the poor girl model. My mother got the most skimpiest outfit in black lace that nearly made the room light up with how red the poor girls face was. (My mother's side of the family were always rude to her and always went out of their way to swear in front of her or get in her business one way or another.) My Sister in law stood it well and participated with a smile.

At the wedding my mom tried real hard to ruin everything. My parents had been divorced and my dad remarried for three years. Well my mom was asked to participate in catching the bouquet and said very loudly that she was not divorced so she couldn't participate...(my parents had two weddings and only one divorce...) After that the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

Well it didn't end there. While the wedding pics were being taken my mom hustled herself right up next to my dad and started fondling and pinching his butt. My dad tried real hard not to show his discomfort to save my brother's reception. The pictures turned out nice only my dad never smiled in any of them......

Still not the end of the story. Three years later when my brother and his wife had a child my mom went in and stole the pics my brother had taken of his new born son at the hospital. (They had to get a restraining order to make my mom stay out of the nursery.) He got them back only after a year and they had been cut up to cut my sister in law out of the picture. My brother has been married to this girl for 17 years now and it is no surprise that my family is not much a part of their lives.      Witches0324-01

My best friend from college was married last year the world's most wonderful man. She is beautiful, intelligent, a teacher and from a foreign country. The Mother of the Groom (MOG) is a bigot, and I am putting that nicely. She told the bride that since she had no friends, she would host the wedding shower. Now, mind you, the Maid of Honor (MOH) and myself had already planned a shower for her, with her college friends, and the family she had living here in the States. Very nice people, all of them. MOG insisted, so we let her do her thing. She invited her sisters-in-law (who got drunk and told everyone how much they hated the MOG), and some friends of the groom from work, and the MOH and myself and two of the brides relatives. She spent almost $1500 on hamburgers and hotdogs, and half of them didn't even make it out of the freezer. They might still be there. We couldn't eat that much! And then she handed half the bill to the MOH and myself. We told her what she could do with it.     Witches0410-01

This is a story about what can happen when the people you think are your friends are actually really your enemies. The following happened to my husband's ex-wife and her new husband a little over a year ago, and it almost destroyed what would have been a perfectly lovely wedding. There was great excitement about most aspects of the impending celebration. A church and reception were booked, silk flowers were chosen, and there were several trips to buy dresses and shoes, and thereafter several more trips for fittings and minor details.

Then disaster struck....someone called the church, impersonating the bride, and cancelled the wedding ceremony! I have been on this earth 42 years and have never heard of anything so devious and mean spirited. By the time this was discovered it was way too late to go back to plan #1 since the church had rebooked. This necessitated a frantic scramble to find a new location for the wedding. It was ultimately held at city hall, which thankfully has a tastefully decorated room specifically for wedding ceremonies.

So all was back on track and humming along towards the special day....and then several days before the wedding the best man backed out! So the bride's brother graciously stepped up to the plate and filled in for best man. From my step-daughter's account of this almost-disastrous wedding tale we hear that he did a great job under less than perfect circumstances...although he did call his sister the morning of the wedding to tell her he'd fallen and broken his leg and couldn't come to the wedding.....just kidding, Sis. Ha, ha, ha!    Witches0416-01

My sister only got married about 9 months ago and I will never forget what a terrible person my brother-in-law's mother is. My sister chose wine and ivory for her colors. My mother went with us to pick out the dress as I was the MOH, I pretty much had whatever I wanted. My mother ended up finding her dress in the same shop and bought a beautiful champagne colored two piece suit with a floor length skirt.

Well MOG, still had not called my mother to find out what color she was wearing or to even find out the colors of the wedding so my mother, being as sweet as she is called MOG herself to let her know the details of the wedding. My mother tells her all the details and finishes with "I am wearing champagne, and the girls (bridesmaids and MOH) are wearing wine". Now my sister (bride) has not been able to reach groom's brother to tell him and his wife what she has picked out for the flower girl to wear (their daughter) and is informed by the MOG that they have decided since the flower girl was in another wedding that had similar colors she is going to wear that dress. Now mind you this is a burgundy dress more red than my sisters color of wine and that the MOG has made this decision without speaking to my sister.

Things get worse from there, she finally calls my mother and sister back to tell her what she will be wearing and it turns out that it is a floor length white lace sheath!!!! Myself and the other two girls in the wedding party (another sister and a friend since childhood) are appalled. We say to the bride you should tell her that it is not appropriate, she already has but the MOG says that is what she wants to wear. This is after the woman showed up at my sisters' bridal shower in a black dress that came just below her thigh with 4" platform sandals (she's 53), we should have known better.

At the rehearsal, we are wrapping up when the MOG says, "Oh, by the way what time is the ceremony tomorrow morning?" Dead silence from everyone. My mother stammers out, "It is at 10 am". MOG replies, well you never did send me an invitation. Funny I thought the 150 invitations that she had at her house to help address was enough for one person, I'm sorry I must be mistaken. At the rehearsal dinner the bridesmaid, Roxanne, the friend since childhood did not bring her husband, he is at home watching their 8 month old son, who is sick. MOG asks where he is my mother replies with the answer. She proceeds to reprimand my mother for being so ignorant as to not invite Roxanne's husband. At this point I thought that Roxanne was going to kill the MOG. She has been almost a part of our family since 1986, 15 years or so, and thinks of our mother like her own.

It gets worse, our dad is actually our step-dad but has been with my mom since I can remember. This was a very emotional day for our family, Marie (bride) is the youngest and by far the most protected. There are a lot of tears flowing and at the first dance, the bride and my dad are dancing, they are crying, it was beautiful. MOG says "God, what is wrong with this family, can't they just get this over with". Mind you now that my entire family from Penn. has traveled 9 hours to see this wedding (about 100 of them) and she says it to my uncle and my cousin. This is right before she refuses to do the mother-son dance because she doesn't want everyone staring at her. I feel bad for my sister, but apparently she is not the only one to have problems with this woman, her two sister-in-laws, (groom's brothers wives) have not spoken to her (MOG) except at holidays for the duration of their marriage. I tell you she is the quintessential wicked mother-in-law!!!!!     Witches0622-01

I'm sad to say my own mother was my Wicked Witch. She and my dad were accepting of my choice of potential spouses - until we announced our intention to move back to his home state, about 1300 miles away. And at first, she even seemed fine with that. One Sunday, while my intended was working, they invited me to breakfast...and she launched into two hours of wailing, criticizing, and bemoaning the fact that they didn't know 'Jack' (they'd made no move to do so) and he could murder me and leave my body somewhere in Alabama for all they knew.

I was nearly incoherent after the first hour of tears and screaming, but tried to defend Jack. He'd had plenty of opportunity to do something that horrible, I said, but hadn't. At this point, they didn't even know his last name, although I'd told them repeatedly. When I showed no signs of backing out of our intentions, they insisted that if I were going so far away, I should at least marry him first. ('s a good idea to marry a guy they believe will rape and kill me ?) The tears and recriminations usually work to get me to toe their line, but not this time. Took my fiancé two more hours to calm me down.

Since neither of us are religious, and there was no point spending money we didn't have to impress family that wouldn't care, we decided to have a civil ceremony at the courthouse. At first, my father said he couldn't attend because he had to work. He owns his own business. He was there after all, criticizing me for not inviting him. Huh ? I changed into my tea-length dress after arriving at the courthouse, and we met up with them. My father was moist-eyed, my mother showed not a whit of emotion, and her body language was haughty at best. When the magistrate offered them tissues, she coldly announced, "I've cried all the tears I'm going to shed about this marriage." Both my husband-to-be and I were stunned. These words were spoken about thirty seconds before the ceremony began.

To this day, she does everything she can to belittle my husband, in public and in private. And she wonders why we don't visit very often. It's been almost four years. I still remember the magistrate's words, "I hope you're always as in love as you clearly are now." And we are ! We have a beautiful, happy son who my mom only bothers with when she can be seen in public with him, or at family reunions. She was critical throughout my difficult pregnancy, and berated me for not knowing if we were having a boy or girl (the ultrasound tech honestly couldn't tell, but it was somehow my fault). Beyond that, we rarely see either of my parents. It's a shame - our son is the only grandchild they're ever gonna have, but we all make our choices in this life. Here's hoping your weddings are Witch-free !      Witches0629-01

My fiancé's mother is unusual to say the least and I think this definitely falls under the category of "Wicked Witches". My fiancé's brother, Anthony, got engaged to a very sweet girl, Cindy right before us and their wedding was 6 months before our wedding. My future mother in law made no secret that she far preferred Cindy and Anthony to my fiancé and I.

Two months after Anthony and Cindy's wedding, my fiancé's aunts hosted a bridal shower for me (a similar shower was also hosted for Cindy before her wedding). The shower guests were invited at one o'clock and I was supposed to arrive at one thirty. I arrived on time and there was no seat for me!!!! All the seats were taken and I had to ask a server to get me a chair! When I told the server that I was the bride, she seemed confused, pointed to the table where Cindy was seated, and said she thought the bride was already there!!!

Even worse, lunch was already served before I arrived and most guests were halfway done eating before I sat down! Cindy's wedding pictures must have just come in because there was a big 8*10 of her and Anthony displayed and their photo album was being passed around to all of the guests. When I was opening the gifts, my future mother in law did not pay attention to me at all and I actually had to interrupt her conversation with Cindy when it came time to open the gift from her!!! Very embarrassing for me!!!

So, then it came time for the cake. Even though it is a tradition in my fiancé's family for the guest of honor to cut the cake, it was whisked off by the servers before I even saw it. And (even though my fiancé's mom knows I do not like vanilla cake at all and do not eat it) she ordered the SAME vanilla cake that Cindy had at her wedding. My future mother in law announced to all of the shower guests that she had it special ordered from a bakery over an hour away because she will no longer eat any other cake (it wasn't even that good, just plain wedding cake) than the cake that was at their wedding. Then she started a speech about how nice and beautiful Cindy's wedding was and got all weepy. What a nightmare!! I even forgot who the guest of honor was by the end of the afternoon! And you can imagine how the rest of my wedding planning has been going with that woman!!!!!  Witches0804-01

I was married to my husband last November. We decided in the beginning that we wouldn't have family members in the bridal party as I knew my brother wouldn't take part in and I knew my sister would try and take over and turn into her day. One thing I must point out is my mother and sister are very close and quite often my mother will side with her and my sister has pulled various stunts over the years. This is the one that put the icing on the cake.

My sister (who I shall call Kerry) who over the years I have had a very strained relationship with lived overseas at the time we were planning the wedding. I had talked to her over the phone and asked if she would do a reading during the ceremony which she quite happily agreed to. Two days before the wedding she flew home. The night before the wedding we meet all the people who needed to be there for the rehearsal at the church. As we were going through it Kerry was asked if she wanted to practice the reading which she declined to and said she had it all sorted out and would be fine. I should have known better when she said that.

My Bridesmaids and I were going to spend an hour after the rehearsal decorating the church but my sister and mother insisted they would come by first thing in the morning to do it so we could all go and enjoy the rehearsal dinner. Yet again I should have known better.

Day of the wedding my bridesmaids and I go and have our hair done and head off to the hotel to relax before getting ready. Not once does my mother call me. I eventually ring her to find out they haven't gone and decorated it and my Aunt and Grandfather had arrived and she had no time to do it now nor did she think she was going to make it to the hotel to spend some time with me and do mother/daughter things before the ceremony. I hung up feeling very hurt and disappointed.

Soon after that my father arrived and we headed off to the church. When we got there my mother was waiting outside and not once did she comment on how I looked. The Vicar came along and got everyone in their places and we walked up the aisle. Not 5 minutes into it I hear "slam...stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp". I didn't turn around because my full attention was on my soon to be husband. Then comes the moment when the Vicar asked Kerry to do her reading. Kerry shouts from the back of the church that she no longer wanted to do it and somebody else would have to do it. Thank goodness a very good friends (my sisters ex from many years ago) girlfriend stood up and took over. As you can imagine I was pretty steamed up at this point. The rest of the ceremony went fine.

Afterwards outside the church and I finally saw my sister looking like she just walked out of a nightclub. She had this dress on the was all tucked up on one side and more then one guest came and stated they wanted to go up to her and pull on the dress and straighten it out. Onto the reception where my sister took turns at pulling each guest aside and complaining about anything she could. Her hair, the weather, the food, the DJ, my dress, the fact that her ex's girlfriend took over and snatched the reading out of her hand and did it, you name it, she complained about it. Until one of the Groomsman pulled her aside and told her to shut up before he threw her out.

The crunch of it all after the wedding we viewed the video and the loud noise in the church turned out to be my sister turning up late to the wedding and everyone (quite clearly shown on the video) turned around to watch her. Can you imagine if I had of made her a bridesmaid?? But wait it doesn't end there.

The only time at the reception she spoke to me was when my new husband and I were leaving to go to our hotel at the door and she tried to say sorry about the reading. We were surrounded by people trying to say goodbye and here she was in the middle of it all. I told her I didn't have time for it and walked away. The next day we had an afternoon tea at my mother's where we opened the presents. While opening a present, Kerry came out of her room looking like she had just rolled out of bed and threw a pack of 5 camera films at us and said "Congrats, and I couldn't afford anything else". I was a bit lost for words after that.

The next day when I rang to thank my mother I told her how upset I was that Kerry had tried to ruin it all and not very surprisingly my mother took her side and said she was an angel and didn't do a thing wrong. My husbands and mine 5 year old daughter and 2 year old son behaved better then her. Well it's now 9 months later and we still haven't had an apology and I no longer talk to my sister.  Witches0830-01

I have read through your entire site, and let me tell you, some of these stories made me cringe! Allow me to tell you MY hell-ish wedding story: My fiancée and I are planning our wedding for October 2001, and I promised myself that this wedding would be beautiful and the way that WE want it. My wedding to my previous husband was such a disaster........... I was a mere 17 at the time I married my ex, so this is more a story of my stupidity for allowing this to take place.

My parents were in the midst of a divorce when we married (with me 5 months pregnant), so neither of them were able to contribute much money to the wedding. All told, I was able to plan our entire ceremony for $600. This included my dress and ensemble, my groom's tuxedo AND his brother's tux (who, by the way, was his best man at the insistence of his parents, and who also insisted that WE pay for his tux, after all, he was still in high school and couldn't afford it.......go figure, his father worked in the movie studios at the time and was making well over 6 figures a year), the flowers, invitations, the chapel and minister (another by the way....the very same chapel his parents were married in 28 years earlier). No photographer, save for my mom.

When we began our planning, my ex's parents said for their gift, they would pay for our honeymoon. Not wanting to seem ungrateful or selfish, I chose San Diego (only a two hour drive and relatively affordable). About a month into the planning, his mother decided that she would rather host our reception at their home, a large ranch, instead of pay for the honeymoon. We had not planned on a reception till then, seeing as how strapped we were for money. I was still in high school and not working, and my groom was working at an auto parts store.  At this point, my mother had already put a deposit on our hotel with her credit card, and now had no expectations of being reimbursed by his parents. We worked out a payment plan with her to cover the bill.

Fast forward to the wedding itself. The ceremony itself was lovely, and things went off without a hitch. My maid of honor looked wonderful in a dress she already had, everyone showed up that said they would, and the minister was on time and sober. Then to the reception, which was 45 minutes away. We arrived at the reception leading what looked like a funeral procession, due to the fact that no one had been given directions to their home. (Okay, I had no idea what I was doing!)

In the house, his mother had ordered two deli trays of cold cuts from the local Lucky's Supermarket for 75 people. The gifts were stacked in the middle of the living room. His mother made the cake, which was actually very pretty. The most humiliating thing about the reception was how often his father, dressed in a polo shirt and bolo tie, raised his glass to his "son, all dressed up for his funeral" *ha ha* and how he "couldn't wait for his new daughter-in-law to move in so his wife could finally relax and not have to cook and clean their huge house by herself" (We were to live on the other side of their property in a guest house, separate from them). Add to that, the fact that my ex cut the wedding cake with his MOTHER, (and I have the picture to prove it) and his father insisted we sit down and open wedding gifts like we were 5 year olds at a birthday party.

The topper, his 17 year old brother, his best man, had his stereo set up and played Motley Crue and Bon Jovi all afternoon. Ok, I know you are thinking, I was the bride, didn't I realize that no one ever asked me what I preferred for the reception? My ex said they wanted it to be a surprise. Shouldn't I be grateful for what they did do for us? Yes, you are right. I was grateful. Grateful my friends and family didn't hold my in-laws against me! Thank God I finally met a man who shares the same ideals as I do. We will have our DJ, our caterer, and our Mexican Riviera cruise honeymoon. Of course, you never know when things may go awry...........!!!!!!!!!!!!! Witches0830-01

Kelsey, a friend of mine and probably the nicest person on the planet, was marrying Brendan, an equally wonderful person. I knew Brendan had family problems because I went to school with his younger sister, Natasha. Natasha was a spoiled brat and received most of the entire family's attention, leaving little for Brendan. My friends and I heard how horrible Brendan's family had been throughout the planning of the wedding (they hated the idea of Brendan getting a day of attention and therefore hated Kelsey), but we had no idea of what was to come.

During the ceremony the preacher thanked everyone for being there and told the families of the bride and groom how fortunate they were to celebrate the union of two such wonderful people. The Groom's grandmother then flipped off the preacher to show her disapproval! The ceremony continued without outbursts.

The mother and grandmother of the Groom made a huge scene outside the church, crying on their husbands' shoulders to make sure everyone knew how much they despised Kelsey. When the reception was over (without the presence of the Groom's relatives), Kelsey and Brendan thought that they had endured all they would from his family. When they arrived home from their honeymoon (which Brendan paid for himself) they discovered that Brendan's family had removed all the furniture from their house!!! Apparently, Brendan's family bought the house several years earlier and furnished it for him. They decided they wanted to make married life as hard as possible for the happy couple. Fortunately, their marriage has survived six years, and they are more in love now than they were on their wedding day, despite his horrible family.      Witches1005-01

When planning my wedding, I was living with my future SIL at the time. She tended to be, shall we say, undiscriminating in her choice of men, while telling me I was cheating because I went out (alone) while my husband was not in town. (He was in the army and could not be around) When she got mad at me, she would say things to try to start arguments. One time she said she didn't believe he had asked me to marry him because she hadn't heard him! Many times when she got mad at me, she would say that she was not going to come to the wedding.

One time, I was reading and she came in, got on the phone and I heard in the coarse of conversation, "Well, I don't think I am going to the wedding." (Keep in mind that she had a phone in her room.) I decided that I had enough of this and when she got off the phone, asked her what I had done to make her decide she wasn't going. She got even madder and told me that she didn't appreciate it when I listened in on her phone calls. That did it, I told her that she could have used a different phone if she didn't want me to hear, that I was in the room when she came in, and that if she didn't come to the wedding and behave, the only person that would be upset would be her mother and not me or my husband. She said she would tell my husband about it and I said go ahead. (She kept saying how close he was to him, but he said he was not close to her as far as he knew.) Well, she did go to the wedding and behaved herself thankfully, but I lost any respect I had for her. So, future brides, just remember that there are ways to be firm with people and that it is your wedding and that the people who don't want to come out of spite will miss out, not you.      Witches1006-01

My husband's family is rather large, his mother being one of 10 children. However, they aren't all that close to most of them. On the other hand, my family is of moderate size and we are all very close. While planning our wedding, we picked a reception hall that was kind of small. For a seated dinner, it would hold under 95 people. So we had to cut the guest list down dramatically. As far as I know, the general etiquette for wedding guest lists is that it is split in 3, 1/3 for the parents of the bride, 1/3 for the parents of the groom, and 1/3 for the bride and groom. That would have made about 30 people per list.

As the wedding day got closer and I started to send out invitations, I noticed something. I was filling out names for people I didn't know. I accepted this since I didn't know all of my husband's family. When we were doing the table layout, my Mother In Law grouped people by association. "This table is for my sisters and brothers. This table is for your mother's siblings, this table's for your father's siblings. This table is for the people from work, this one's for people from the neighborhood." Yes, she invited 18 people from work and the neighborhood!! While my mother couldn't even squeeze on 2 of her closest friends!! I didn't even know half of the 18 people and my husband only knew OF them!!

To top it all off, one of her brother's showed up after RSVPing "No" so to accommodate him and give him a place to sit, she moved one of her friends from work to the table where my aunts and uncles were and forced one of my aunts and uncles to move to the "Kids" table!!! She rationalized it by saying "Is that where you wanted Joe and Sue anyhow?" witches1009-01

Some time ago my cousin, a millionaire with a Harvard MBA, became engaged to a beautiful woman from a working class family. Before meeting her, I was a little concerned that she might just be interested in his money, but after I had gotten to know her it was obvious that they were deeply in love and made each other very happy. So everyone in both families eagerly looked forward to the wedding. Everyone, that is, except the father of the groom, who elected the morning of the wedding to lambaste the bride for "ruining my son," "dragging him into the dirt," and otherwise being a golddigger. This took place in the sacred space of the church nave one hour before the ceremony.

The groom and bridesmaids barely got the bride comforted in time to go on with the ceremony, and they had to redo her makeup after she burst into tears under the father's verbal assault. During the reception he got very drunk and attempted to feel out various women, including me (I'm his niece). Then he refused to pay for half the party as he promised, sticking the bride and groom with the whole thing. The father is no longer welcome in the couple's home. Witches1010-01snob.gif (11609 bytes)

My question is why a college educated, independently wealthy adult offspring of this "witch" allowed himself and his bride to be beholden to his father for half the cost of the reception?  Moral:   Sometimes the value of a gift from a witch is often less than it's worth in pain and suffering.


I must tell you about when I was getting married 3 years ago. My father who acts more like my buddy was trashed at our rehearsal dinner and proceeded to call the priest "padre" all night. In the restaurant we were in they were piping music over the system which was really nice. The song that came on was Dion's "The Wanderer" the part where he sings about Rosie on his chest, my father proceeds to rip open his shirt and show his chest and back to my future in-laws and the priest!!! Not only did he expose his body to all, he then proceeded to ask the priest if he wanted a drink because it would "put hair on his canary" (if you know what I mean). I could not apologize to the priest enough, he was very gracious and was very supportive the whole time we were getting married. Thank god for small miracles!!!     Witches1024-01

When my brother announced he was marrying his longtime girlfriend, we were ecstatic. My brother claimed to be the ultimate bachelor and we never expected him to marry. My brother lived out of state and it was not easy to arrange schedules and expenses to attend. The day before the wedding, we arrived in time for the rehearsal at the church. We were politely sitting in the church, when this large woman came marching down the aisle. She stamped her feet and wore an ugly expression. I looked puzzled at my husband. We couldn't figure out what was the problem with this woman. It turned out, she was the mother of the bride! At the rehearsal dinner, she scowled and barely spoke to anyone. She also made loud sighing and complaining noises! The poor bride to be pretended not to notice. The next day at the wedding, this woman went out of her way to make everyone miserable. When I asked my brother, he shrugged and said, "Carol   is jealous of Diane." The mother-of the bride was jealous of her daughter!! I guess everyone knew she had also acted the same at Diane's shower. It had nothing to do with my brother, as Carol liked him. Can you imagine a woman behaving so badly at her daughter's wedding?    Witches1129-01

We are from a small town in Western Minnesota where everyone knows everyone. The Bride, who is about 7-8 years older than the groom,and groom had been dating against his mother's wishes, and then became engaged which enraged her. MIL owns a small farm outside of town which had always been promised to the groom, but she did not like them living together there and took the farm back out of spite. This did not bother the groom, who with his future bride moved to town where the bride had purchased a bar with home in the back. The wedding was lovely, but sadly, we realized that on the groom's side, the only person sitting in the front row was the father of the groom. The mother had chosen to skip her only son's wedding out of spite. The mother is an extremely overbearing woman from Germany, and the father a rather spineless wimp, so it was amazing that he was there. Now that the couple has a daughter, the MIL can't get enough of either of them or the child, so the groom, bride, brides two sons from first marriage and daughter are now all living together out on the farm. Very tenuously, I might add! Witches1223-01

My daughter was getting married. I met her future mother-in-law, I'll call
her Laura, and she seemed real nice. As we were planning the wedding I
thought my daughter should have the last say because it was her wedding after
all. The two mother-in-laws and myself were paying for the wedding because
the kids had no money. We picked out the hall and planned the dinner and all
went well. The wedding dress fitting went well too. I worked a lot so Laura
went with her to pick out the flowers.

Later my daughter said she wanted to show my the arrangements picked out. She said I really didn't want this for my bouquet but Laura wanted it and that mine and Laura's corsage were
different from the other mothers because we were the "real mothers." Not my
daughter's idea. Now, we have all been divorced for at least 20 years. I told
my daughter that a wedding was not the place to do that since we all had a
hand in raising the kids. My daughter fully agreed. So we changed her bouquet
to what she really wanted and all the mothers were the same.

Well, Laura  found out about it and went and changed hers and her mother's to be
"different" unknown to us. When we called to see how the flowers were coming
along the florist told us about the change. My daughter was livid and told
the florist to change it back to what it was. Well, Laura tried to change it
again and the florist called us to say please come down and fix the order
because there were so many changes in the mothers' corsages that they couldn't
read it anymore. My daughter and I went down there and went over the entire
order again and put a lock on it so it couldn't be changed again. Laura was

The day of the wedding the florist called to confirm that my daughter
made a change in Laura's corsage again. Laura had called the florist that
morning and tried to change her corsage to be different. My daughter said NO
CHANGES. At the wedding Laura pouted and would not speak to me or the other
mothers at all. Since then she has truly been the mother-in-law from hell. Witches0121-01

I should state that my husband is a wonderful, sensitive, caring man who is nothing like the rest of his family. His mother has consistently informed me that she was too busy working when he was young to really take care of him, but she never really wanted him anyway. My husband claims that it is the lack of her attention that has made him the man he is today!

My mother-in-law ("Ruth") is extremely concerned with her notion of "class." My husband and I lived together for two years before marriage (somehow, he was hesitant to commit to marriage- I wonder why?) and she found that to be embarrassing. Not because it was immoral, but because she felt it made her look bad. I got nonstop phone calls from her urging me to do my duty and force her son to marry me. I later found out that he never heard a word about it.

When we began to plan the wedding, she constantly bombarded us with suggestions, requests, and demands as to what she wanted. My husband decided that, in order for us to control what we wanted, we would pay for everything ourselves. We informed her of our decision, and she responded by stating that she still wanted to pay for the rehearsal dinner. We said fine, but we would like to have it in a local restaurant where we can relax. She fought for a while, but eventually gave in.

Now to my first brother-in-law. He works for a catering company, and is very knowledgeable about wedding food. We went to him for advice, and he responded with handing us sample menus from his very upscale company. We knew we couldn't afford to use him, but we didn't quite know how to say so. Ruth began phoning our house, at all hours, demanding that we use her son (Ronald) for the catering. Finally, my husband told her that if she felt that strongly about it, she could pay for it, because we just couldn't afford $60 per plate. She responded that we were just cheap, but if she had to pay her own money to insure that we had decent food at our reception, she would. Later, when she got the bill, she expressed astonishment to me that weddings had gotten so expensive: she claimed she had done her entire wedding for $600.

My second brother-in-law lives far away. He and his new wife (none of us were invited to their wedding) refused to take any part in the ceremony, saying that they'd rather enjoy it as guests. We said fine, we want you to have fun. They took us out to lunch a couple of days before, and we told them that our wedding would be completely alcohol-free due to the religious beliefs of my family. They responded politely, but brought their own bottles to the reception and were out in the parking lot for most of the afternoon.

And now, the coup de grace: the night before the wedding, Ruth was insistent that I spend the night with my parents, because it was bad luck for the bride and groom to sleep under the same roof the night before the wedding. I complied, and after the rehearsal dinner, went to my car to head to my parents' home. Ronald ran up to me as I was leaving, explaining that he and his significant other had purchased a lovely centerpiece for the buffet table and that would be their gift to us. I expressed thanks. He then put a large bag in my hands. "These are the tablecloths for tomorrow," he said. "All you have to do is iron them." Inside the bags were five round (about 10' diameter) all-cotton, white tablecloths. He throws them at me at 10:30 on the night before my 11:00 a.m. wedding. I was up until 2:30 and only got one done!

I was hired to photograph the wedding of Jack and Jill. About a month before
the wedding day Jill came to have her bridal portrait made. Her Mom was with
her and they gave me instructions to only take head and shoulder shots as the
dress was not finished. Mom was sewing the gown herself. No problem, we did
just that and all was well.

On the day of the wedding I arrived at 5 for the 6:00 ceremony. Jill was there in the church hall with her attendants but NO DRESS. She told me, "Mom is still sewing! My dress is not finished." I tried  to calm her down with assurances that she would surely arrive soon. But by
6:00 there was still no Mom and no dress. I ran over to the church and found
Jack. After I explained the situation he informed me that he would wait
however long it took. that he would marry her in her underwear if she liked.
He was so sweet! This message made Jill cry of course.

I tried to make her and her attendants smile by taking photos of her in her veil and slip with
her bridesmaids. It was now almost 7:00 when Mom arrived with the wedding
gown. We threw it over the bride and I pulled pins out of the hem as we
rushed next door to the church. An hour late but they were married.
I have never seen such vile behavior from a MOB! She must truly hate her
daughter. She had to make the day miserable for the bride and make herself
the most important person on her daughters wedding day! Who knows what horror
lurks in the heart of a MOB who wants to be the center of attention that
badly.    Witches0219-01

I had the misfortune of recently meeting my fiancé's pick for Best Man and his longtime girlfriend. Around Christmas time, the couple decided to come visit us (they are both going to school in Oklahoma, we are in Illinois). I tried my best to open our new home to them, and to keep an open mind. Our house is no palace, but it was exciting to us because we had been living in an efficiency apartment for the last 10 months, and we were finally making enough $$ to afford to rent a house.

My fiancé and I were visiting my Grandparents when we received a call from the future BM. He and his girlfriend Kim were at my fiancé's parents' house. My fiancé gave him the good news that we were engaged, and that he'd like Shane to be the best man. I thought that was the end of the conversation... It wasn't. We found out later, through my soon-to-be in-laws, that while my fiancé and Shane were chatting, Kim had been making comments to my future Mother In Law regarding my wedding. First she said that she was sick and tired of watching Shane take part in other weddings, walking down the aisle with other women, when she was never invited to be in the wedding party. She expected me to make her a bridesmaid! I hardly know the girl! She then hinted to the fact that if I don't make her a bridesmaid, she and Shane might not be able to make it to the wedding. f

Later, when she came to visit us at our new house, she made several comments, all horribly rude! 1. The color of the paint was horrible. (Fiancé and I had spent an entire week after work painting this house, as well as moving in during a week of ice storms.) 2. She refuses to take her shoes off, she doesn't understand why tracking snow all over the freshly cleaned carpets could soil them, "it's just clean frozen water." 3. In her opinion, the kitten I received for Christmas from my fiancé had a head too big for the body, and looked stoned. 4. If there was to be a bachelor's party for my fiancé, she would be in attendance, but she would not come to any shower of mine because she didn't like other women. 5. I asked her to please use the shower downstairs instead of our old cast-iron tub because it used too much of our water. Lo and behold I found her sitting in the cast iron tub, smoking a cigarette after I finished a quick, cold shower. 6. My fiancé and I went out on my birthday, having had plans made way in advance that this was to be a dinner for only the two of us. Kim chastised me all the next day that she was our guest and should not have been excluded from the festivities. Before she left we took the two of them out to dinner where she managed to tell me in no uncertain terms, that it was apparent that I "lacked creativity." I wanted to explode! She is, without a doubt, the rudest person I have ever met.

The unfortunate aspect of it is that in less than a year, I'll be dealing with her antics on my special day. I can't disinvite her because she will keep Shane from being at the wedding. On the other hand, maybe she won't show up at all. Her final words to me before pulling away from the drive were, "Don't count on us coming back for the wedding, Shane has to concentrate on school." I hope they break up before this April!!!!!    Witches0222-01

I know everyone claims to have a mother-in-law from hell, but I think mine really is. When my (now) husband and I first announced that we were getting married, she was so happy for us - or so I thought. (Apparently she was going to him and trying to talk him out of it because I have a child from a previous relationship.)

Anyway, she had such great plans - she was going to throw an engagement party, a bridal shower, host the rehearsal dinner, etc. Everything seemed to be wonderful. The engagement party that she threw for us consisted of my husband's parents, his sister and us - which was fine since we wanted the entire event to be intimate anyway. We had decided to have a very small park wedding. The park limited us to 20 people, so we decided that we would have a reception afterward to include other close friends and family members in our celebration.

When deciding on attendants, I chose my best friend as my MOH and he chose his best friend as his BM. Well, she demanded that my husband's brother be a groomsman - and after heated discussions with his mother, my husband finally agreed. So, in fairness, I opted to have his sister as a bridesmaid. All seemed to be back on track.

Then we began working on the guest list for the ceremony. We explained to her that there was a park limit and that the wedding party, parents, photographer and officiant were the only ones invited - which she agreed was fine. Then we put together the guest list for the reception - this is when things began to get really ugly. My husband and I invited a total of 30 people (the 20 from the ceremony plus 10 more). We agreed to let her invite a few people too. She provided us with a list of over 100 people that needed to be invited to both dinner and cocktails. We told her that we were not planning to have a large reception and asked that she trim the list a little, to which she replied "it is rude of you to suggest that these people not be included in your reception" (let me also note that my husband didn't even know many of these people!).

So, after bickering back and forth, I agreed to invite some of her friends (about half). So, we were back on track again. Then it came time for the bridal shower. About a week before the set date my MOH asked about it because his mom and set a date and my MOH had not yet received an invitation. I talked to his mom and she said "well, I figured that if you weren't going to invite my friends to the reception then I'm not going to throw you a shower". Okay, fine. I'm not upset about not getting the bridal shower, I was just a little put off by her reasoning. So, we move on.

Then I start getting RSVP's to the reception from people we didn't invite - one of them even said that his mom had told them to be there at 6p for dinner. So basically she agreed to cut her list, but then invited them verbally anyway!! We had the rehearsal dinner (which she invited about 30-40 people - people who were NOT attending the ceremony - much less in it!). Then there's the ceremony - again people who we didn't invite attended (her family members) - which put us over the park guidelines. Other than that, the ceremony goes well.

Then we go to the reception which was relatively normal until it became time to cut the cake, make the toast, etc. I looked around and didn't see her. I asked where she was and was told "oh, she left". WHAT?!?! After this big party FOR HER and she left early - without even saying goodbye!! I couldn't believe it! My husband and I left for our honeymoon (which she refused to take us to the airport) and when we got home, we got an e-mail from one of my husband's uncles saying that they were deeply hurt by our choice to invite some and not other aunts, uncles, etc. to the ceremony. I replied saying that we didn't invite ANY extended family because of that reason exactly!! And then she complained to my husband that we had been home a week and I had not even come by to see her yet - gee, I wonder why!!   Witches0802-01