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Oh where to begin? How about the 'highlights'. Shan't go into all the other little details - would take far too long. I knew right off that I was going to have trouble with my father when he was rudely less than pleased when we announced our engagement, in front of my whole family. He made some offhand nasty comments there at the dinner table, and then some very cutting and hurtful remarks to me in private afterwards. Go dad.

Plans progresses as they must with wedding preparations, and I did my best to let things be in the interest of family harmony. The next real bump in the road happened when I had to go to my dad's office to 'formally' ask him if he'd come to the wedding, and could he make it to the tuxedo fitting. I was told rather coldly that "I'll have to see when the time comes, and then, if so inclined I'll show up, and if not, I won't." Somehow, I'd expected better of him. Again, go dad.

Needless to say, as mothers do, they both tried to 'direct' the way in which the whole wedding should progress, and though we did our best to present a united front on things, the wedding planned ended up being MUCH larger than we'd hoped for, and resulted in increased expenses for ourselves to 'keep the peace'. Oh, to have the backbone then that I do now!

Moving on to other preps. My inlays wanted to pay for a wedding breakfast, and asked us whom we'd like to invite. Well, not wanting to make it a huge expense, and thinking it an appropriate compromise, we limited the list to immediate family, grandparents, and the wedding party. My mom made arrangements to have food at her house for the many guests who were coming from out of town for the event, most of them relatives, and some very close. We figured all was well, and that things ought to go smoothly that way, and hopefully extended family would feel they were well treated in spite of us having the small breakfast without them. Well, about a week before the wedding, my MIL calls my fiancé to inform him that she was inviting her whole family - a HUGE amount of people I might add, very large families, with aunts & uncles, cousins, and other distant relatives - and would that be a problem? Well, yes it was, and he told her so. She was rather put out about it, even though he patiently explained just why we'd wanted it that way. He told me what was going on, and then I told my mom (probably a mistake, but I'd have hated to have her show up and THEN find out), who was furious that our family would be excluded, and that she'd already gone to all the work of buying and preparing much of the food for an equally large amount of guests at her house ... you can see where this is going I'm sure. My fiancé ended up telling his mom that the list we gave were the only guests that should have been invited, and since that hadn't happened, and there was no other graceful or fair way to handle it, there would be no wedding breakfast. Much coldness and ruffled feathers ensued. After not having their way, my inlays ended up not contributing a cent to the entire affair, the wedding ending up being paid for by ourselves and my parents (with plenty of grumbling on their parts I might add).

Move to the day of the wedding. Mom had already insisted that I make my only sister, whom I've never gotten along with very well, to be my MOH. Irritating, but really a small thing to concede, all things considered. I love her dearly, but she's a very difficult person to get along with on the best of days. That morning, mom let me sleep in, thinking I could use the rest. Bless her heart, but she inadvertently put me behind schedule that way. So I found myself in the tub getting cleaned up, and painting my nails as I soaked. There comes a thumping at the bathroom door - my sister, insisting she needed to get in to put her contacts in. Reason? She didn't feel like going downtown for something wearing her glasses. Well, the door to the bathroom is an easy one to open - just need a coin or something to turn the lock. The bathtub is behind sliding frosted doors, so I told her to go ahead, flip the lock, and come on in to do what she needed. OH no. She couldn't possibly do that, even when I told her I had wet fingernail polish and no way to get out of the tub decently to let her in. She decided instead to rant, rave, and curse in front of the door for I don't know HOW long, finally telling me to f--- off, and storming away to make her run downtown. This, from my one and only sister, who was supposed to be standing up with me in just a few hours. Not only that, but she had previously insisted on singing a number for the wedding - something that I'd had absolutely no say in, and now didn't even know if it was going to happen. I was shocked and in tears, thinking I couldn't possibly have gotten off to a worse start. That crisis finally past, fast forward to the wedding. Never mind the family issues we had concerns over for the day, or that my own mom was cranky at me for a number of reasons that I couldn't figure out, and we'll gloss over the fact that my poor fiancé and his brothers got a flat tire on their way to the wedding, and barely made it in time ... After all the stress and headaches, the wedding went well if you can believe. My sister got herself together, participated, and was nice. Families behaved themselves well enough for the day, and my dad even ended up walking me down the aisle with misty eyes, and even though it rained like cats and dogs all day, it ended up a beautiful wedding. Though I have to tell you, we were both relieved when we finally left for the night. Don't think that bad experiences like this jinx your relationship - all these years and two kids later, I have to say I love him even more.


To begin with my mother in law to be had a disagreement after my 5th wedding shower. As I was opening gifts with money or checks in them I had a box decorated as a home and said "Saving for Our Home" written on the side as I would receive money (check or cash) I would another Thank you to Ms...... for contributing to our new home fund I would fold it discretely and drop into the house. My mother in law to be stood up in a room of over 75 guests and screamed "hey tell us how much cash you are rolling in" after I was mortified I said My fiancée and I appreciate each and every gift from you and will use them with the best of intentions. Thank goodness I was in a room surrounded by ladies that I have known my entire life ladies that could be as close as grandmothers and aunts After the shower she claimed I embarrassed her and I should have announced how much dough was in the stinking cards because the more cash someone spends on you is how much you mean to them. That morning my fiancée called me at work to tell me that his mother had phoned him and told him that if I couldn't step up my standards of a higher class society and agree with her then I had 72 hours to return the wedding rings or she was filling a charge with the police claiming I had stolen my wedding set from her home (I had been wearing his maternal grandmothers wedding ring for 11 months and this was 4 weeks before my wedding) He had bought my ring 1 year earlier and after showing it to them she insisting that I wear his grandmother's wedding ring (he is the only grandchild she has). I accepted very gracefully with tears and love both of us are only children and I knew how much love accompanied this ring his grandparents were married for over 50 years. I did return it and married with no ring other than my wedding just to prove that materials were not important to me as her sons love for me. My godparents owed a steak restaurant and asked to give the rehearsal dinner for over 40 people complements of them as one of our gifts. My fiancée and were flattered his parents refused and said that the rehearsal dinner was the grooms parents responsibility and they were having a BBQ. When the night of the dinner came There was a 12 foot long sign saying "congratulations Brian" nothing about me. His mother was drunk at 5 when my wedding party arrived and their were only place settings for His father, mother, grandmothers, and my fiancée at the head table. Not only was my name not there but my parents weren't even invited to the dinner. And she placed my bridesmaids and groomsman in the corner of the room. And forced my fiancé's bestman (that is very very shy and terrified of crowds) to say a speech with preparation. My maid of honor offered for the 2 of them to speak together to help with the fear and my fiancée's mother insisted this dinner was for her son not "that slut he is marring."     Witches0106-03

Unfortunately I was not privileged to witness this myself but heard it all first hand from my friend who was sister of the groom who we will call J. The groom family was solidly middle class folks, the brides fabulously wealthy. They get engaged, her parents throw an engagement party which J swears made her wedding look like a beef N' beer. A sit down dinner for 200 at a country club. shortly after the engagement, the bride to be discovers that she is pregnant. She and the groom elope to Maryland, and there is a combination bridal shower / baby shower ( I could not make this up). The bride's father buys them a house. There is the inevitable baby, christening etc. In the space of 8 months my friend is shelling out close to $1000 in gifts. Six months later, she is invited to be a bridesmaid, apparently the bride ( a true princess wants her big white wedding and daddy is going to give it to her). the bridesmaids dress cost $350. Then come the showers ( three which as a bridesmaid she has to attend). the brides mother is of Italian birth so the father flies in 50 relatives from Italy including the MOH, who the bride hasn't seen since she was 6. The Wedding is a three day affair; oh and two of J's sons are in the wedding (add $150 for little tuxes).

But it gets better the rehearsal dinner should be for the bridal party and parents but FOB has 50 out of town guests who he wants invited, FOG [remember these people are all ready married]. the FOB has to say I can't afford a sit down dinner for 80 people (this is a rehearsal dinner) and he doesn't drink and doesn't want liquor. The FOG says fine I'll pay for my 50 relatives and the liquor. Needless to say it is a very weird dinner with more than half of the guests speaking Italian. J says her father felt like he was hosting someone else’s family reunion. The grooms family left after 2 hours but apparently the party went on for hours.

The wedding, first there was a breakfast for the bridal party and the 50 guests from Italy, then the hairdressers, makeup artists etc. During the big white church wedding a person was hired to held the baby (in a little tux) by the altar so he could share in his parents’ special day. Then the piece de resistance!!! The wedding cake instead of the traditional bride & groom topper its a man & a woman holding a baby.  witches0109-03

I am sooo glad I didn't see this website before I got married! My story is not nearly as bad as the others, but certainly left a bad taste in my mouth! I must preface this story by saying that I love my in-laws, but not their behavior on this trip!

My husband and I were married a few weeks ago. We originally wanted to do a big wedding, but later decided we would have a destination wedding and just bring our families. We decided on Hawaii, and brought the My husband's parents, brother, and brother's girlfriend, and my mother, brother, sister-in-law, and best friend/MOH. My mom paid for the condos and my husband and I paid for everyone's airfare.

My husband and I arrived the day before everyone else. On the day our guests arrived, my husband's father and my MOH arrived totally DRUNK! They basically rolled out of the cab and were extremely loud. My husband's mother was furious (I don't blame her!). We had dinner reservations for a very nice restaurant and my husband did not want to take the two drunks with us! I didn't either, but we didn't have a choice. Long story short, they continued drinking and bothering other restaurant guests (per the complaints brought by the waiter!). My MOH broke a wine glass (loudly). The end of the meal couldn't arrive any sooner! Before we had left for Hawaii, my in-laws had offered to pay the bill for that evening. However, when the bill came, they didn't even flinch - sticking my husband with the bill. On the way out of the restaurant, my MOH knocked over a waiter, sending his tray of desserts flying. Five minutes later, she didn't even remember doing it. We were able to ditch them after dinner. I assumed they went home and passed out, but we later found out they stayed up half the night doing tequila shots and dancing.

The next morning, the day of the wedding, we awake to my mom and my MOH knocking on our door, wondering what the plan for the day was. My MOH was not 100%. She did promise not to drink until after the ceremony. The rest of the day was great - a beautiful Hawaiian sunset wedding and a nice reception. When that bill came, my mom paid it while my father-in-law stood over her telling her what kind of tip to leave. I finally stepped in, knowing my mom was about to kill him!

Half of the guests left the next day. In fact, my mother ended up leaving two days early for her own sanity. My in-laws and MOH stayed on. In fact, they were there up until the day before we came home! My MOH was content doing her own thing (she was on vacation from her husband and two small children), but my in-laws wanted to do everything with us - every meal, etc. Not once in the seven days we were there did they offer to pay for one thing. My husband paid for every meal. Hello?! It's their son's wedding! They never did bring up the rehearsal dinner bill. In fact, they didn't pay for one thing on this trip - airfare, condo, food, alcohol, etc. They are normally very generous people. I just don't get it! Can you tell I'm not quite over it yet??

Needless to say, I was tense the entire time - especially when a bill arrived! I need another honeymoon - a secret location that no family members will know about!! :)     Witches0116-03

Hello, first of all, I want you to know your website has had me chuckling all week. My last few months have been hell, and it's nice to know I am not the only one.

This all started in September of 2002. My sister, who we'll call "brat"...(nicest term I can think of right now...) Has always told her boyfriend of 2 years that she never wants to get married, EVER. And she called me sobbing, when she found out he planned on proposing to her in front of 200 people at his mom's wedding the next day. I couldn't be there for her, like I wanted to be, being two states away, and so I told her to talk to him about it PRIOR to the big announcement, and tell him how she felt. Well, I guess she did, telling him she didn't want to get married. But to save face the following day, since the DJ, and almost everyone knew about the supposedly surprise proposal, he went forth with it, and she said yes to save him from humiliation. So she called me and told me that she wasn't marrying him, and they were going to break it to everyone at a later time.

About a week after that, my now fiancé proposed to me. I had no idea, I never saw it coming. It was a nice quiet proposal, with just the two of us there. We contacted our family immediately and made the trip to two states away so everyone could meet him....While we were there, my sister showed me the ring her boyfriend proposed with, still in the box. I told her it was beautiful, and talked to her for almost an hour on if she was sure about her choice. Telling her it would be fun to have a double engagement party, and plan two weddings, etc, etc. She was adamant about not ever getting married, even going as far as to express that she did not want to be a stepmom to his child. My dad and stepmom held a very nice engagement party for us, the whole extended family came to meet my soon to be hubby. We had not picked a date yet, but had said sometime in Fall of 2003, as we both wanted a Fall wedding. My dad even threw in a remark at the engagement party, in front of my sister and her boyfriend, "I wonder when my other daughter is going to get married?" And my sister replied in disgust, "That will never happen". (No one knew she had been proposed to.)

So my fiancé and I drove home, (the two states) and when I got home, my mom, who lives in the same state as I do, asked me, "Didn't you say "brat" said she wasn't getting married?" And I said yes, and that even while I was seeing her, she still said no. Well, I guess during my two day drive home, my sister had decided she was going to get married too. And when my dad asked her why she didn't say anything at the engagement party, she said she didn't want to take the lime light away from me. Not a problem, I was excited. Kind of questioning her motives, but excited. When her and her "fiancé" came to see us for Thanksgiving, we all oohed and aahed over her ring, (which she had taken back the original that was smaller than mine, and gotten a bigger one,) and I broke out the wedding planning books so the two of us could do it together. She was excited, I was excited, pure pre wedding bliss....WRONG...

I went back to see the family two states away at Christmas, and my dad generously offered to donate a large sum to each wedding. VERY generous. I shared with my parents the planning I had done. Pretty on top of it considering the wedding was about ten months off, and my dad said that I was a lot farther in my planning than my sister was. My sister then announced she wanted to do hers in August of 2003. (A little close together, but considering she had expressed to our mom that she just wanted a small simple garden ceremony of only family,) it was doable to my dad. They asked me during this Christmas visit what kind of ceremony I was looking for, and I told them that the "ideal" guest list was about 150, and we wanted a romantic Fall evening wedding. They were impressed with my plans, and thought it was a great idea.

Since then, my sister has also upped hers to a more extravagant 150 guest wedding as well. Well, last week, my sister went with my dad and stepmom to book her place and date. (A lot easier when you live in the same state.) I talked with her on the phone, listened to all the wonderful details, and told her how excited I was. Two days later, I get an email from the "brat" saying that she had "accidentally" shared with my dad that my fiancé was still legally married, and his divorce wasn't final. (My father was impressed with my fiancé, and everyone knows he isn't crazy about hers.) Something we had decided not to share with my parents, not feeling it was really their business. (He had been legally separated for quite awhile, and his divorce was final at the end of January.) My dad blew it way out of proportion....really ridiculous considering our age, and said that he didn't think he'd be able to make a fall wedding due to finances of two weddings, and the dates being so close together, and wants to know if I'd consider Spring of 2004. I told him I would finance it myself, considering a Fall wedding was what I wanted, and that I just wanted him there, and he said I was being dramatic and disrespectful. Oh and by the way, my sister in all of this, he told me not to blame her, that she was concerned....(BIG coincidence to me, two days after her wedding is paid for.)

SO this is where it all stands now. My sister and I aren't talking, she said if I didn't want our dad to know, that I should question my motives in getting married. I SHOULD QUESTION MY MOTIVES?! I am 27, and my fiancé is 35. My sister is 24. I still plan on a Fall wedding. It is my day. I am just waiting to hear from her to tell me to step down as her MOH, and my response is going to be, "That's fine, I don't think a knife will look good coming out of the back of mine." Am I wrong about this? Any suggestions? Thanks and congratulations to all of you who are getting married.


My husband and I have been married for going on 32 years now, but I will never forget our wedding. We had both been married before, with children from both prior marriages. His ex-wife and her new husband, along with his children, were in-state, and we had scheduled the wedding so that his kids could be there. Of course, his ex-wife brought no appropriate clothing for the kids, so in addition to making my own wedding dress and one for my little daughter, I also had to make dresses for his girls as well. That was a bit of a problem, but no big deal, since the patterns were very simple.

The problem was that the ex decided, even after knowing what time the wedding was scheduled for, to use the kids' presence at the wedding as leverage to get money out of my husband. After agreeing to have them ready at a certain time, she hid the kids until DH coughed up the money (which his lawyer had told him not to pay her). First he had to FIND them, then he had to get the money and deliver it. As a result, he was almost an hour late for our wedding.

I was waiting -- in tears, of course -- for him, wondering if I was being stood up or what was happening. Since I had already left for the chapel, he couldn't get hold of me, although I don't know if he even tried to, and I know he didn't know the phone number of the church. He finally showed up with the kids, we got married, and had a nice reception, thanks to some very good friends who baked and decorated a cake, arranged everything, etc.   witches0123-03

It's a toss-up who was worse at my wedding, my mother or my MIL. I'll let you be the judge:

Behind my back, my mother called the caterers and changed the entire reception menu: EVERYTHING, including the type of champagne we had chosen (her choices were twice as expensive). When I talked to the chef, he was horrified. He was sure I'd asked her to call.

BUT behind my husband's back, my six-foot tall MIL cancelled our honeymoon reservations to Hawaii and booked us on a Canadian camping trip. (No, she's not a travel agent ---). We ended up in a gawd-awful hunting lodge in central Alberta. My mother used my wedding as an opportunity to try to win back my father's affections (they had been divorced for two years), and when he wasn't interested, sighed audibly throughout the ceremony, trying to get his attention.

BUT My six-foot tall MIL showed up at the church in a white suit. Since I'm short, in most of the wedding pictures I look like the flower girl.

My mother stood up at the reception and announced it was a damn good thing I wasn't as fat as I was in high school, because my husband would have needed a crane to lift me over the threshold. (True . . . .but . . .)

BUT My six-foot tall MIL confided to me after the reception that the key to her happy marriage was having sex with her husband every night --- and that she hoped I do the same for her son. Uchhhhhhhhhhhh.

Can't wait until I'm a MOB or MOG . . . seems a great place to work out a lot of inner hostility. Witches0130-03

 Just a short note, when my husband and I got engaged, we went to tell my future MIL. She proceeded to take my wedding band out of the box (fiancé had bought a complete set of three rings at once) and try it on. My MIL wore MY wedding band before I did!!! It was just a taste of things to come. An omen. I was stealing her baby boy and she did her best to make my life hell until the day she died.    Witches0202-03

I was in my cousin's wedding nearly ten years ago and this story is about the mother of the bride, my aunt "Marg". First of all, you have to know that Aunt Marg is the relative that everyone has to put up with, if you know what I mean. She is married to my dad's brother. It started way before the actual wedding, but it's what happened at the wedding and the rehearsal that stand out.

Aunt Marg was paying for the rehearsal dinner, which she chose to have a bar (which is fine, except I was the oldest of the six bridesmaids and I was only 16.) There were 12 members of the wedding party, plus four parents, the bride and groom to be and at least a date (or a set of parents- since we were so young) for each bridesmaid and groomsman. So total, there were about 30-40 people. Aunt Marg asked for pitchers of WATER for everyone and 2, yes 2 pizzas. There wasn't even enough for 1 piece per person. Finally my dad and his sister ordered and paid for 5 more trays and some sodas.

Then the next day, the bridesmaids met at the brides home to dress. After we dressed, the flowers arrived. Aunt Marg called us all into the living room to see the gorgeous flowers. Then she informed us that we each owed the florist $30. and walked away. Luckily, my cousin Jen had her mom's checkbook and she wrote a check for everyone's flowers.

At the wedding, she offered to hold the cards that people gave the bride and groom at the reception. Later that evening we found all the envelopes tossed under the table. The cards, checks and money was gone.

I'm just glad that she's my aunt, whom I only have to see twice a year and not my mother.

PS- Miss Jeanne, I LOVE this sight!    Witches0206-03

When my sister married her boyfriend of several years, we knew she was going to have a rough time with her future mother in law. This woman frequently mentioned to her, and in front of me, my mother, her own son, etc, that John's (her son's) first girlfriend was really the girl they expected him to be with. She was so "right" for him. Whatever. She did so much to try make the wedding HER day that I can only highlight a few things.

I was the Maid of Honor but lived over 1000 miles from home/the location of the wedding and shower. So, she volunteered to help me about 9 months prior to the event itself. I accepted her help (God knows what I was thinking) and one month later she called to say that it had all been set up and she had sent me a package of invitations so that I could invite my family members - to be kept under 20. Yes, the only thing I did was to mail 20 invitations, a number which included the four other bridesmaids. To my utter shock, I arrived at the shower to find 100 women (she had invited people she had worked with before she had even been married) who knew no one but the mother of the bride. The entire shower consisted of opening gifts - it took several hours. When I went back to find the cake, it had already been cut. The bride had not even seen it yet. A few of her friends had to leave early so she sent some home with them.

Now to the wedding plans. My sister was torn between two dresses: an inexpensive one she "liked" and a more costly dress she "loved". Since my parents were paying for the dress, they encouraged her to get the dress she loved. Her mother in law, after seeing both dresses, called my mother to tell her she doesn't like my sister's choice. She wants my mother to convince my darling sister that she looks FAT in the dress and to choose the other. Mind you my sister was a size 6 at the time. My mother refused and never told anyone but me. Sister still doesn't know.

She also informs my sister that she doesn't like her cake topper, a Precious Moments figurine (I know that isn't to everyone's liking, but . . .). She proceeds to give her a more "classy" (her words) cake topper for Christmas. My sister politely explains that she is still going to use her own, but she is thrilled to have the other has a keepsake. Somehow during the course of all the wedding planning in the next few months her mother in law is allowed to "store" some of the wedding paraphernalia. Guess what somehow gets broken!!! And just the day before the wedding, so there is no time to replace it. What a shame.

The wedding was beautiful, all was well and they all lived happily ever after. You'll need another web page if you want to know what she pulled at the shower for their first child!    Witches0206-03

This is a cross between tacky and wicked witch. You decide.

When DH & I were preparing our wedding in the town we were living in, he was sent out of the country on an extended assignment with his consulting firm. There were doubts as to whether or not he would arrive in time, but that's another story, one that would win me the title of Queen of the Bridezillas. Six weeks & counting and no DH-to-be. My friend, Felicia, who was from DH's hometown, invited me back there for the yearly festival in order to help me keep my mind off everything that could go wrong. I gladly accepted. One little problem, DH still had NOT told his parents about the forthcoming nuptials, so I had to keep a low profile and leave my emerald engagement ring at home. His parents always through fits about their children getting married, so the conventional wisdom is to let them know after plans are set so they cannot interfere (they stopped one daughter's wedding plans cold, so the rest erred on the side of caution.) Great, we get to the town several hours away and stay with Felicia's parents. Just our luck, Felicia's sister, the doctor, gets engaged that weekend. Let's call her Pam. Pam's fiancé is Charlie. Charlie is also a doctor. Charlie studied medicine with DH's late sister, the one whose plans were ruined by her parents. She was tragically killed shortly thereafter. It comes out I am DH's fiancée and that we are getting married in City A, not Hometown. Charlie then proceeds to spend the rest of the weekend doing his best Columbo imitation.

He is horrified that we are getting married in City A. I am from even farther away and have tons of reasons not to get married there, so we chose City A. Charlie insists we should be married in Hometown. It is only proper. Tradition and all. He then gets on to me about my emerald engagement ring, declaring that diamonds are the only way to go. They 'prove' your love and devotion. Pam and the rest of the family join in. Ohmigod, we were marrying in another religion, not the one that almost everyone in Hometown belongs to (another reason not to get married there!) The straw that sent me over the edge is when he brings up DH's late sister, whom I never had the pleasure of meeting. Charlie even started asking me about my knowledge of her accident, bringing up all sorts of details. He was bothered by the fact that no one else stepped into her shoes to study medicine. After all, my FIL is a doctor and how horrible that none of his children honored him. This went on all weekend. I even tried to contact ILs just to get away from him. I was so glad to go home.

Well, DH made it home, told his parents and we got married. They were so upset they barely talked to me for a year, other than to criticize the minister we chose (I have got to send that one in!) It is now the day before our first anniversary and Felicia is marrying a wonderful man she met same weekend I was being harassed by Charlie. She was having her reception where we did, so we just had to go. Romantic, no? I had forgotten about Charlie. Sure enough, he was there. Wonder how he felt about Felicia getting married in City A since she was from Hometown also?

Anyway, we were on the dance floor when who should come up but Pam & Charlie! Remember, they are both doctors. He points to her stomach and says, "She's due in September, what about you?" as he looks at my stomach. I got so mad, I said the first thing that came to mind, " We can't." They stopped. We stopped. I then sweetly explained that we couldn't have children until DH finished his masters. We then danced off.

DH read me the riot act as we left, until I explained the situation to him. He was mollified, but not by much. Luckily we never saw Nosy Charlie again. We moved far away and I lost contact with Felicia.    Witches0207-03

Here's a faux pas I have yet to have read about on this web site. This past summer I was in a nice outdoor wedding for some mutual friends. It was a bit on the casual side but I still see no excuse for what the groom’s mother did. During the ceremony I kept hearing bits of conversation coming from elsewhere but could not quite figure out what I was hearing. When the pastor asked the guests to join in prayer to bless the couple, I figured it out. The grooms mother was talking ON HER CELL PHONE!!! I cannot even begin to fathom who she was talking to. She talked until the ceremony was over. I would never even believe this if I had not seen it with my own eyes. Of course, after reading some of these stories it's not too hard to believe..

My wedding was a beautiful, small gathering and I enjoyed it immensely. Only after the fact did I learn that my father was the guest from hell....

My mother and father have been divorced for 20 years, have both remarried, and live on opposite sides of the country. My wedding was to be the first time they had seen each other in all that time. Now, I love my dad, but he has his issues. He likes to drink. We had a full open bar at the wedding/reception (all held in a stately antebellum mansion). The bar was open before the ceremony as the guests mingled. Apparently, Dad made full use of the bar and was well tipped by the time he and my step-dad jointly escorted me to my groom's side. Dad kept stepping on my train and slapping me on the back as we walked. Every slap jerked my veil, which was anchored to my hair with dozens of bobby-pins., so it really started to hurt.

We didn't have the traditional set-up for the ceremony. Our parents were arranged directly behind us (standing) and the rest of the guests were grouped around behind the officiant in a loose circle. All during the vows my dad kept giggling and poking me in the ribs as if we were sharing some big joke. I just smiled and ignored him, though in the wedding video it is plain that I jerk every few seconds as I am poked firmly in my side. We got through the ceremony. Then, apparently, dad started hitting on all of the women present, even my mom (who loathes him). Thankfully I was oblivious to all of it. He tried to get several female guest to go upstairs to the bridal suite with him. He told mom loudly that if she had looked this good 20 years ago he would never have left her! And he said it in front of my stepmom and my mom's husband. Finally it became apparent to all that he had had WAY too much to drink, and the bartender cut him off. No problem, dad just filched an entire bottle from behind the bar when no one was looking and kept drinking.

After the reception some of the guests headed to my mom's where they planned a fireworks display. (New hubby and I had gone on to the honeymoon suite) Dad went, too, even though my stepmom begged him to go back to the hotel. Mom was gracious enough to overlook his boorish behavior and allow him in her house, where he promptly vomited all over her rug and passed out. Mom was livid, stepmom was mortified with embarrassment, and it took several burly men to pour him into the rental car and get him out of there.

It wasn't until several days later that I got the entire story from assorted guests. Now mom is vocally proclaiming that when my younger sister gets married she will have to choose which parent to invite, because mom refuses to ever see him again. Poor sis.    Witches0223-03

Here is my story: First of all, let me say that my future mother in law (aka: FMIL) has no couth whatsoever. My matron of honor (aka: MOH) threw my shower on Saturday and it was a complete surprise (although my FMIL came really close to giving the secret away).

Anyway, the first comment my FMIL made to me when I walked in was "You could have dressed a little nicer". WTF? How was I supposed to know how to dress when I only thought I was going out to lunch with my MOH & BM. That started it!

Then as the shower started she started drinking, let me say that there is NO reason to get drunk at a bridal shower. And my MOH told her that alcohol was not covered in the cost and she was not going to pay for it (I don’t blame her one bit, she told them that up front). So when they got their bill for the alcohol she made the comment to my MOH "I paid for my alcohol and gave him a $30 tip, cause I didn’t know if you could cover the tip!" I thought my MOH was going to knock her out!

Ok so on with the story. When I was introducing everyone, my FMIL yells out "her FSIL (future sister in law) is getting married on May 4th, lets congratulate her"! EXCUSE ME? It was not HER shower, it was mine.

Ok so onto when we were leaving, FMIL came up to me and said "I certainly hope you are planning on helping me plan and pay for your FSIL's shower on March 16th." What bad timing to say something like that. My other FSIL said "Mom this is NOT the time OR place to talk about this" but that didn’t stop her. She continued to Run her MOUTH!

The day she wants to plan her shower I have to work ALL day or I would gladly attend. But we are paying for our entire wedding by ourselves and I sure don’t have the extra cash to give her to help pay for FSIL's shower. I will however, buy her a nice gift.

I know my FMIL is still bitter because she wanted to invite 30 other people (that I have never met and are NO relation) to my shower & wedding. My Cousin / MOH told her that they were not being invited to the wedding (due to limited space) and would therefore not be invited to the shower. I know it may sound rude, but my FI has a very large family that took up most of the guest list by themselves.

I don’t know what to do with this woman. She is the same woman that wanted to hang Cowbells on the ceiling for my shower since I am having a western themed wedding? What a HOOSIER!

All I can say is that I sure hope she keeps her mouth shut at the wedding! Or my Bridal party WILL escort her OUT!

Even my Fiancé was embarrassed by her behavior!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This woman will go down in the Mother In Law HELL Hall of Shame!!!!!!!! An embarrassed bride.


 I am getting married in a week and am ready to murder my Father and step-monster-in-law! It seems like everything I plan, they decide it would work better their way. My fiancé and I decided to have our Biological parents stand up during the ceremony instead of the traditional Best man and Maid of honor. Well, the step monster decided that if she wasn't in the wedding her husband, my father-in-law, wasn't either. She told my fiancé's father that we were trying to put her on the back row and that it was disrespectful for him to stand next to his former wife. She told me that my fiancé and I were living in a fantasy world and this was a last ditch effort to see our parents together again. Evidently she isn't secure enough in her 20 year marriage. My fiancé and I decided, to keep the peace, that we would have a best man and a maid of honor. Well, everything seemed to be going well and the groomsmen were planning to get fitted for their tuxes when my future father-in-law decided he wasn't wearing the tux we registered him for. The step-monster read on the internet that the Father of the groom didn't have to wear a tux. They decided he would wear a suit form the salvation army! After fretting and talking with the demons out to ruin my wedding and sanity, the father-in-law from hell decided to fit for a tux, but he wouldn't go back for a final fitting because he was tired of driving.

Just when it seemed like the hellions were finally seeing that this wedding was a joyous occasion and not an attempt to reunite ex husbands and wives, until this week. They decided that they didn't need to attend the reversal or the rehearsal party. My parents are paying for every aspect of this wedding. You would think they would be glad for the financial break they are receiving and just go along with everything, but no. The step-monster-in-law read on the internet that there was nothing set in stone as far as wedding plans go.

Now, she's not paying for anything but she thinks she has a say in what is planned and what isn't. Oh hell no! I'm ready to tell them not to show up to the wedding if they can't respect the wishes of myself and my fiancé. I feel so sorry for my fiancé because his dad is acting like he could give a crap less about him or our wedding. We have changed our wedding plans several times to make them happy and now I'm in ceremony hell!    Witches0225-03

My father is an interesting guy. Growing up he was always a wild guy and I could share lots of great stories about his wacky adventures. He has never been very mature, especially when it comes to women. He and my mother had a friendly divorce when I was about ten, and after that he dated a string of much younger women. One of them, let's call her Sherry, was the most terrible people I have ever met. She was cold, mean, and was upset when she wasn't the center of attention. To give you an idea of how off she was she would often stop strangers on the street when I was with them and ask them which one of us looked older (she was 24 and I was 15), not only that but she would pout if people thought that I looked younger, and was always most happy when people confused her for my father's daughter. Twisted, but she liked the attention. Well she had been married two times, even at her young age, and had three children with three different fathers. And soon enough she was pregnant by my father. He married her because he wanted to do the right thing and besides, "I can always divorce her if it doesn't work out." He wanted to get married right away and was sort of embarrassed by the whole thing. However Sherry refused to get married until Easter Sunday, when she would be almost nine months pregnant. My family is Roman Catholic and were very offended that my father would be getting married to anyone, much less a woman about to give birth, on such a holy day. Sherry's thought was that more people would be able to make it to the wedding since they were not going to be planning things to so anyway. She also thought that by having the wedding so close to her due date she would get extra baby gifts on top of the ones she got at the shower.

No church could hold the wedding, since they were already having their Easter events, so the wedding was held in the living room of Sherry's father's home. There was plenty of room however since Sherry's family didn't care about seeing another one of her weddings and my family was just offended by the whole thing. I felt like I had to go however, since it was my Dad.

The wedding was so tacky! The wedding march was played on a boombox and Sherry insisted on marching out, from a bathroom hallway, so that everyone could watch her walking to the "altar". Because she was very, very pregnant we had all expected her to have a matronly type dress. Not Sherry! She wore a pure white satin dress that had been cutoff so that the dress just barely covered her up. It was so ridiculous. A pregnant woman in a white wedding mini-dress! There was no reception and everyone, even my brother and I who had planned on spending some more time with our Dad, was told to leave right after the wedding because Sherry was feeling crowded.

Unsurprisingly the marriage did not last, although my Dad was so happy to have another child and doted on my new half-brother. When Sherry and my Dad divorced it was very messy and she ended up with custody of my half-brother.

The family was just happy to have Sherry out of our family (I could fill up another many pages with stories of tacky things she did during the marriage) but my father missed his son so he began trying to get back together with Sherry. They moved in together, much to everyone's annoyance. The family just did their best to ignore them and did not really talk to them outside family events. So imagine our surprise when we were all invited to their remarriage. This time she wanted to have a big church wedding and asked that everyone who missed the first wedding make sure to come to this one because, "we need you to wish us well! The lack of your support is what caused our divorce." Sick of this woman and my father we all declined. I was 18 at this time and told my father that while I loved him I could not support this marriage. I guess the reaction was enough to get Sherry cancel the wedding. A few weeks later she invited me over to, "bury the hatchet". She told me she was planning a surprise party for my father and not to mention anything to him.

Stupidly I came over and was surprised when nobody else was there. Sherry came downstairs in a long pink dress carrying two suitcases with her. At this point she told me, "Your father and I are getting married this weekend. He's already left and you need to stay here and watch the kids." She left without leaving any address or emergency phone numbers. There wasn't even any food in the house. At the end of the weekend when they came home my father was shocked to see me there since Sherry had told him that her sister was watching the kids. I was just furious about being forced to be involved in the wedding in any minor way. My father was sympathetic and gave me $200 to make up for my time and expenses. I left furious at the whole situation and feeling very taken advantage of. I was backing out of the driveway when Sherry ran out demanding that I give her the money back, "As a wedding gift."

The wedding only lasted a year. Sherry disappeared and left all her kids, even her children from previous relationships, with my father. We haven't heard of her in almost three years, not even gifts for her children. It is very sad but I think that everyone is better off with her out of their life.   Witches0228-03

I have been reading your site all day, and I have another story about a wedding that I *almost* had - a relationship that was destroyed (no doubt for the best) by my ex-fiancé’s monster... er, mother. This woman was the most controlling human being I'd ever met, but in a passive-aggressive, manipulating way. She didn't really make demands, she would just gently push her agenda until everyone buckled under.

There are too many examples to list them all, but the one incident that still amazes me the most is the affair of the engagement ring. I had decided what kind of ring I wanted - it was a lovely three-stone setting, with the middle stone about .75 carat, and the two on the sides around .5 each. It was a lovely, gorgeous ring, and exactly what I wanted. Well, my FMIL was firmly of the opinion that what I REALLY wanted was a huge, honkin' solitaire, set up high - preferably over 1 carat. This is just not my style, but she kept at me, saying "one day you may want to have it reset, and it will be easier to reset a big diamond." As if I would one day grow up (I was already 30!) and decide that I'd be much happier with some sort of cocktail ring made from my engagement ring. In fact, I was quite sentimental about the concept of an engagement ring (I have since grown out of this), and was sure I'd never want any such thing.

My fiancé knew what I wanted, but when he announced his mother was taking him to "her" jeweler to pick out the stones, I knew that I had to go along, because he never stood up to her, and I guarantee I would have ended up with HER dream ring, not mine. So I went, argued some more, and the ring I wanted was ordered.

When the ring was ready, and ex-fiancé was going to pick it up, I specifically asked him, as a favor to me, to make sure I was the first one to see it. Again, just being sentimental about it. He agreed, went to get it, brought it home, it was gorgeous, all was well. UNTIL the next time I was at my FMIL's house - when I found a whole series of pictures that had been taken of the ring before he brought it home to me - ON HER FINGER. She took my engagement ring out of its box, put it on her hand, and took a bunch of pictures of it, and then he lied about it. When confronted, he said he didn't see what the big deal was.

The other big fight we had was over a videographer. She wanted one, I didn't. I am sure there are many brilliant unobtrusive wedding videographers out there, but I have yet to attend a wedding featuring one. FMIL could NOT tolerate this. She would argue with me, cry, beg, pretend to give in, and then the next week have her mother call, cry, beg, etc. On this one issue I stood firm, and you would have thought the world was coming to an end. The ex also never stood up for me once, throughout all this drama.

Finally, she insisted that we register for all kinds of expensive china and real sterling silver flatware - again, I was THIRTY. There was little chance that I was going to wake up one morning and be the type of person who needs sterling silver service for 24. And one day (I hope many, many years from now) my great-grandmother's silver (currently in my mother's possession) will come to me. I registered for the silver, to make her happy, and her parents bought us the entire set as an engagement gift.

This could go on forever, but let me end by saying that when I called the whole thing off, my ex and his parents (naturally) came to our apartment to get "his" stuff. I decided that I didn't care if they left me with four bare walls and my dog - nothing was worth standing there fighting with his mom over THINGS. Well, they took EVERY gift we had received - gifts that I had been planning to return! And he cleaned out our joint bank account, I am sure on advice from his parents, because Mr. Spineless never did ANYTHING on his own initiative.

I am just thankful I got out of that in time - what if I'd married him and had CHILDREN? I can't imagine what kind of controlling grandmother this witch would have been!      Witches0302-03

This story is about a wedding planning disaster, the wedding that wasn't really. The worst wedding I've ever been involved with planning/attending was (unfortunately) my brother's wedding in 1983. My sister-in-law is from the Northeastern US, but had years ago relocated to the Midwest for college where she met my brother. Her parents, with both chicks gone from the house, longed for a warmer climate and moved to Florida while my sister-in-law was in college. Even though all my sister-in-law's family and friends live in the north, her parents insisted on having the wedding in Florida at their country club or they wouldn't pay for it. My brother wanted to go ahead & have the wedding at home and pay for it themselves but my sister-in-law wouldn't hear of it. She insisted that her parents pay for the wedding. They agreed to have the wedding and reception in Florida. So we all headed down to Florida for the festivities looking forward to the long awaited wedding of my brother & sister-in-law to be, whom we had come to love as one of our own. MOB planned everything. I think the only thing my sister-in-law had any say about was her dress. This was clearly a case of what the MOB wanted, she got, or else! The only guests that did not travel to Florida from the northern US were friends of the bride's parent, most of whom the bride had never even met. Sadly, I must report that the Bride's parents weren't the only ones with a "my way or the highway" attitude.

My SIL & brother asked my father and stepmother to fund the bar and rehearsal dinner, per wedding tradition. My father was a really, really cheap man. He had no trouble spending money on himself or his second wife, but he was very stingy with his first family (us). He grudgingly agreed to contribute although he complained constantly about the prices at the MOB's country club (also the location of the rehearsal dinner). My brother didn't know anything about Florida marriage license laws and this was well before the days of internet access. His in-laws volunteered to find out the information he needed. They reported back that he needed to get a marriage license at home and it would be transferable to Florida. Imagine how upset my brother and sister in law were to learn that their license wasn't good in Florida and was not transferable. Worse yet, they didn't have time to apply for & receive a Florida license before their wedding day. Since all the family and friends had already arranged to come to Florida and the club, food, DJ, cake and such were all booked they decided to go ahead with the wedding ceremony, even though it wouldn't be legal. They certainly didn't intend to deceive anyone and even scheduled a date at the justice of the peace as soon as they got home. After all their license from home was still valid in our home state. This all happened before we arrived. We got Florida 2 days before the wedding, the same day as my father and his wife. Now I was staying at the hotel with my mom, stepfather, uncle and sister. The MOB had the bad taste to book my father & his wife in the same hotel as my mother and stepfather, in a block of rooms all right next to each other. It was uncomfortable because my parents did not get along, but thank goodness we were all there. When the bride and groom, mind you still terribly upset but no longer in tears, told my mother & father about the license mix-up, my father threw a fit. He said he wouldn't pay for anything for a "sham" of a wedding and threatened not to attend. He accused them of orchestrating this scheme to get presents and money for the new house they were building. My brother lost it. It took both my stepfather and uncle to remove my brother's hands from my father's throat. On a side note, my father had a habit of eliciting this response from his children. When I was ten, I tried it myself, albeit not very effectively. I don't know who talked my brother and Dad down, but someone must have. My mother shamed my dad in to apologizing and supporting his only son.

The "event" from hell marched on. By the afternoon of the wedding that wasn't, my sister-in-law had to have her dress taken in twice because she'd lost so much weight from the stress during the week before the wedding and she had the darkest circles under her eyes you've ever seen. My brother spent the entire ride to the ceremony fantasizing that some divine intervention would bring about the painful deaths of his interfering mother-in-law-to-be and my father before the night was over. They endured their "show" wedding, went on a honeymoon and returned home to be quietly and legally married at the justice of peace.

They had 4 receptions to accommodate the 2 families. First the one in Florida following the ceremony. Then, they asked my mother to host a party for her side of the family. Meanwhile they planned yet another reception for their friends from college to attend. My father also gave them a party 4 months after the wedding for his side of the family. I've never quite figured out if that was guilt or his wife not wanting people to think my mother was more generous than my father. I still think of their wedding as a blueprint for disaster. 20 years later, my brother is divorced and remarried. He eloped the second time.


In the mid 1990's, I was a manager for a large retail store. Our staff was quite close and enjoyed socializing together. We frequently gathered for picnics and softball games. When one of our staff members announced her engagement to her long-time boyfriend, we were thrilled. As most recent grads, the couple had limited funds for the wedding so we all pitched in to plan a modest wedding that was fun and special. It probably should have occurred to us that the couple's friends were doing all of the work without a word from the families, but we were so excited about the marriage (the first one in our circle of friends).

The wedding was a beautiful, traditional ceremony on a gorgeous day. After the service, we all traveled across town to the reception. Four of us left the service early to make sure that everything at the hall was perfect for the couples arrival. Well... the bride's family (step-father, brothers) had been there and brought in cases of liquor and beer. (The bride and groom had only planned on a champagne toast to limit costs.) Not only had they provided the alcohol, but they had spent most of the day sampling it! All of the guests arrived and things seemed to settle down until after the cake was cut. Apparently the step-father of the bride took issue with the bride's brother and they started fighting in the middle of the reception. Fists were flying, tables collapsing and cake frosting was EVERYWHERE. The groom ended up in the middle of the fight (he was trying to break it up) and he was punched in the face. The bride wisely moved herself to the bathroom to cry her eyes out. Three of the female guests (myself included) ended up getting between the men and dragged them outside to calm down.

Turns out the bride has never had close relations with her step-father and he was making comments to her brother about how hypocritical is was for her to wear a white wedding gown. (Not that I advocate violence, EVER, but I can understand why her brother felt the need to defend his sister!)

As all good weddings should, this one ended up with the step-father in jail, the brother and groom with black eyes, the bride with a headache from crying and the guests/ work friends with a huge mess to clean up.    Witches0421-03

After dating for 9 and half years, my boyfriend finally popped the question on my birthday on a Saturday night, in our favorite restaurant, with his brother Bill, (his best friend) and sister in law Bonny (my best friend) along as well. It was a total surprise to me and his brother and sister in law...Mike had told NO ONE of his plans. He had kept the secret for 2 months. I was ecstatic!

Mike and Bill's parents were wintering in Florida. After much celebrating at the table with each other, our server and the other patrons in the restaurant, we decided to make some phones calls to family and friends to share the good news. We called my parents who live 200 miles Mother was hysterical, my Dad was crying, all was wonderful! Mike tried to call his parents in Florida, but there was no answer. We'll call them tomorrow he assures me.

So, Sunday afternoon Mike calls them after church. He talks to his Dad....tells him we're engaged, they chat some more, and then they HANG UP. Not one word to me. Nothing. Mike looks at me and says "I think I shocked them", "they will probably call back later after the shock wears off" etc. Mind you, Mike is 50 years old, I am 44 and we have been dating for nearly 10 years and have been living together for 6 years. His first wife is a mere annoyance, having remarried 2 years ago and moved on. Mike's Mother NEVER calls me....the ENTIRE WEEK goes by....still no word from her or her husband. The rest of the world has called, emailed and sent cards and flowers.....but still NOTHING from his parents. Friday night rolls around, Mike, Bill and Bonny and I go out to dinner. I am complaining....your parents must hate me... I can't believe your Mother is acting this way....for God's sake you're 50're a grown man....she needs to let go etc. Bill and Bonny (who have been married for 24 years) are just as flabbergasted at their behavior.

Low and behold, the next morning the phone rings. It is HER, the witch from hell calling. She says she is "so happy, but she worries about Mike, after his first marriage being so horrible, she meant to call.....etc. etc. Then comes the REAL kicker....she says to me" Honey, did you get my card and my letter I sent congratulating you? Welcoming you to the family, now that you're going to be my new daughter? " I say "no, when did you mail it" ....she says "oh, well it was Monday I think. You should have it by now, maybe it will come today." BOTTOM LINE.....2 months later it still has not come....SHE LIED about.....she never wrote me a letter, never sent the card, never intended to! Turns out that Bill called her Saturday morning and said "Mom, you had better call Teresa ...she and Mike are upset you haven't called and talked to her and her feelings are hurt" etc. So, SHE ONLY CALLED ME BECAUSE HER OTHER SON TOLD HER TO! She lied to me and we are not even married yet.     Witches040803

This could fit in the Wicked Witch area, or if you start a Wicked Step-Mother area, I am sure there would be many submissions to go along with this one!

My father's second wife, my step-monster, has never been pleased with me and keeps a running comparison of me to her two daughters from her first marriage. Well, many years ago, one of my younger step-sisters became pregnant during her senior year of high school. During her pregnancy, my now husband and I announced our engagement. Obviously irritated that I was engaged prior to pregnancy, unlike her daughter, my step-mother's response was, "What? Are you pregnant?" This is even crueler than it initially appears when you consider that she knew very well that I had been told only weeks before that I may never be able to have children of my own. Some people...

I'm not sure if this belongs on your site, or what category it would be in...maybe Sour Grapes? (I'll admit it!)

I got married in 2000. My husband and I footed the bill for most everything, but his well-off parents did contribute a sizable amount to us. I hated taking the money, but they were bent on a "big wedding" (I wanted something in the woods with about 20 people-they wanted their whole extended family of about 80) so I was happy and grateful that they helped us afford the wedding they wanted for us. But, of course, with the money came the opportunity to "add your two cents", and though there were a number of issues we clashed on (the person marrying us, the venue, the vows not being "religious" when I was brought up a Catholic and his parents were suddenly Methodist and Lutheran, though my husband never knew it!) we still had a beautiful wedding that we were proud of, and people talk about even to this day. We offered to pay them back the money countless times, but they wouldn't hear it.

Fast forward two years. My BIL gets engaged to a girl, let's call her Jane. She is my MIL's dream DIL-all girlie, well-dressed, conservative, etc. I am hopelessly liberal, have tattoos, and practice a different religion that my husband has since taken up too. In other words, I am Satan's Spawn. Now that Jane has come along, I feel even more like the black sheep. MY MIL had only the two boys, and seemed to take real joy in finally having a "daughter" to fawn over. So Jane starts planning their wedding, and the in- laws donate their money, and the fun begins.

It seems, though, that Jane is taking much more of their "advice" they we did, and my MIL is beaming about how wonderful their wedding is going to be. My husband is asked to be in the wedding party, but I am not. No biggie, I don't really know the girl that well. I am just happy to get to see my husband in a tux again, and be just a little part of all the commotion. I couldn't wait to see how this "amazing wedding" was going to turn out. I heard all about the venue, and how nice it was, and how it was so posh, and blah blah blah. I definitely got the impression their place was considered "more appropriate" than ours (ours was a huge restaurant on a mountain designed for catering, theirs was an inn/hotel that had a hall attached...*shrug*)

The big day arrives, and the wedding is nice. Normal mishaps associated with outdoor weddings aside I was proud for them and how things went. So the bridal party then disappears for pictures, and I am left alone. Right before she leaves, though, my MIL thrusts my 80 year old GMIL (her mother) on me and tells me to "take care of her". My GMIL is a sweet old lady, but she lives in another country (so I think I had met her briefly twice), and barely speaks English. Okay. No problem. I'll take her around, get her a seat, get her a drink, and amuse us while they're gone...

We get inside the "beautiful location" a cramped side room where everyone was crushed in, standing in one big herd. There are no chairs. When I ask if we can go inside to the reception room, I am told, "No." Apparently, you can see the wedding party outside taking pictures through the windows in the reception room, so we can't see them or else it will wreck their big entrance later. Huh? So now I have an 80 year old woman I barely know that I have to try to prop up for an hour, by myself, while the reception hall and tables galore are just waiting behind the set of doors 10 feet away. Meanwhile, all of the MIL's family is getting toasted at the bar and eating at the buffet, stopping by briefly to say hi to their mother/grandmother before tottering off to the bar again. I asked one of my MIL's nieces to try to find me a chair for her grandmother, and she disappears and doesn't return. By the time my husband returns from pictures I am almost frantic-the GMIL has not sat down in an hour, I have not eaten a thing yet all day (though it is now about 4 in the afternoon) and not one person in his family will stay for more than a moment so I can try to get a chair for this woman and a bit of food in my stomach. He rushes away to try to find a chair...and now we are ushered into the reception room, where my MIL takes over gushing over her mother without a word of thanks for me. Oh well. Maybe this isn't a bad story...but my feet still hurt thinking about that day.

I hate to admit this, but I'm sure I committed a terrible breach of wedding etiquette. That being said, I'm not sure what the etiquette is for a situation like this, so I'm not entirely to blame.

A few years ago, when I was 16, I moved into a share house with my boyfriend, my brother and a friend of the three of us, because life at home was pretty awful. My mother got it into her head that we would be living in sin, and so she decided that my boyfriend and I were married. No consultation with us, no ceremony. She decided that with the power vested in her by God, she would pronounce us a married couple. And pronounce she did. It was mightily embarrassing to be congratulated on my marriage, to have to then explain that I wasn't married at all, and that my mother was rather mistaken. Particularly at sixteen, I didn't want to have to explain the intricacies of my relationships to near-perfect strangers.

The worst of all was when I received a wedding gift from one of my mother's friends- a fundamentalist Christian pastor who had quite kindly sent us a "setting up house" sort of gift- some good quality (although not to my taste) food serving trays. It took me a while to get around to doing anything about the trays, particularly since I didn't know their address and my mother wouldn't tell me.

Eventually I resorted to an email thanking them for the trays but explaining that I wasn't really married- and that if they wished they would be welcome to take the gift back, but it was very lovely, bright, colorful and cheery.

I never got a response, and the trays weren't to my taste, so my boyfriend and I ended up giving them to his older brother at his wedding. While I know that his brother was pleased to get a gift from his teenaged brother and his even more teenaged girlfriend, I'm not certain how appropriate a regifted present that I should never have received was. On the other hand, there was no spare money to get him and his new wife another present, so maybe this is best.

I really don't know where to start on my story. Its actually many stories, and all of them are driving me crazy.

My wedding is 4 months off, and I'm ready to kill my in-laws. Luckily, I'm not alone in that sentiment, my fiancé', my family, and my matron-of-honor (who is like another sister) also share the same sentiment. First off, let me give some background. My family is southern, in almost every sense of the word, we're also a matriarch. We have 3 times the amount of females to males in my family, so naturally the women rule the roost. Its been like this for 4 generations in my family and its been perfectly fine up until this point.

My fiancé’s family is decidedly northern. They're from Boston, and the male rules the roost. Now I don't have a problem with a male or a female ruling the roost, but there are decidedly different ways of handling things with each sex, and I just don't happen to agree with most of my future father-in-law's ways.

Here's the last bit of information you might need. I'm the oldest of 3 girls, and I was brought up to speak my mind while still being respectful. Also, not to keep quiet if you don't like how things are going. My fiancé' is the youngest of 3 boys, and while he's outspoken, he more often than not gets told to shut up and he listens.

The story really started 3 days after we got engaged, when the future mother-in-law tells both of us that we should wait until we're more financially sound to marry. We were renting their basement apartment and making ends meet. We definitely weren't starving or having difficulties. The 2nd blow to our coming nuptials was when were looking for halls to have our reception. We had wanted to have the reception at a restaurant, but things didn't work out. Mainly, because my parents' couldn't afford it. My parents aren't poor by any stretch, but apparently we'd chosen a bad timeframe for the wedding. Two weeks before our wedding, my sister's college tuition is due. Well, no big deal. We're back to looking for a hall. Now during this time, my future in-laws are belittling my father because he's wasting time and to cheap to afford it. Well, my father had been ashamed to tell us that we couldn't have it at the restaurant and apologized profusely, but I told him he was being silly and there was nothing to forgive. My sister's education comes before a $3,000 reception. So then we decide that the social hall at the church we're being married at is just fine for the reception. We'd be following in my parents' footsteps, and I was delighted, so I asked/told my parents I'd like to emulate their wedding somewhat. Needless to say, they were ecstatic and flattered. My fiancé' thought it was a cool idea too, so the planning continued. Jump to Valentine's Day. We'd gotten engaged in early December, but had no ring at the time, which did not bother me in the least, but on Valentine's Day my fiancé' surprised me with a ring that had been his mother's. Well, it would've been perfect had his parents not insisted on being there while he gave it to me, and had not insisted that it be in their kitchen, and not insisted that he ask me again. Now this may not seem that bad, but when you are a person that gets incredibly shy when presented with embarrassing situations or situations that should be held privately (in my opinion) then this type of behavior and presentation was horrible. When I tell the story of how he asked, its the story from early December.

Ok, so we're going to be holding the reception in the church's social hall, no big deal right? Well, Mother-in-law has all sorts of ideas that she and her friends want to do, and she's got a surprise for us. Um, no...I hate surprises. My fiancé' tells her that there will be no surprises and that the decorating and preparation for the wedding will be done by the immediately family and the wedding party. Mind you most of the wedding party is family. She says ok, but she still wants her ideas implemented, we have to remind her that this is our wedding. Not hers. Fast forward 2 months to April, when my matron of honor and her husband are visiting. We show them the social hall and we're discussing ideas, and MOH and I decide that we'd like the gift table off to the side of the entrance. MOG says no its going in the back corner by the door to the restrooms! MOH says no, it makes more sense by the entrance, I concur. MOG gets huffy and we leave the hall. Then we head to the jewelry store that we bought my wedding ring from so we can show everyone. Well, while there my fiancé' starts looking at wedding bands for him. His mother won't leave his side and when he calls me over to look I can't get close enough to see even his nose because of his mother. I'm trying to subtly hint that she needs to move. My MOH's husband takes pity on my and asks MOG to please move, because this is something we (B & G) should do together, that's an exact quote. MOG gets huffy, but this time the 4 of us ignore her. Well, then its on to order the flowers. We arrive at the flower shop and we're all seated at this little table, now there are 5 of us plus the flower lady (lack of a better term). My fiancé' pulls out a chair for me and for him (next to each other, of course), but as he's moving to sit in his chair, his mother plops herself down in it, and then she asks where he's going to sit! My MOH and her husband are across the table and offering to move to make room for my fiancé', but he tells them to stay put. The flower lady is next to me and my MOH on her other side. Since his mother is being difficult, my fiancé' squats/kneels next to me looking at all of the books and flowers with me. Its a good thing that our flower visit lasted 10 minutes (I'm not that picky).

Its now the beginning of June, and my mom has graciously offered to sew all of the dresses for the wedding. That's awesome. My mom has had her own business doing this exact same type of thing for nearly 10 years, and has been sewing for more than 25 years. I'm not worried about the dresses. The girls' dress fabrics have been bought (my 2 sisters and my MOH are my girls) and the patterns all bought. Mom has started measuring and getting the patterns ready, since she's combining 3 patterns to get the look I want. I'm not at all worried. MOG and FOG apparently think my mom is not working on their schedule, and they continue to berate and belittle her in front of me. They ignore my requests that they stop and that I'm not worried since I know my mom and her work ethic. This type of belittling makes for enjoyable dinners.

Also, this past week FOG has enlightened my fiancé' to all of my family's issues as he sees them, all the way down to: my father not offering him a drink at our engagement party, as has been for all 25 years of my parents' the females have done the hosting, and dad greets, this is apparently not how its done in the groom's household. He also mentioned my MOH and her husband's actions during their visit in April. His wife the victim and everyone else the bad guy. he also had several other complaints, but my fiancé' told him that he saw nothing wrong with the actions of anyone he's complained about, and if he really wants to blame someone then to examine his and his wife's actions. I was so proud.

Well, there are several other instances, but I think this is long enough.

Thanks for hosting your site.....I've been waiting to get all that off my chest.

This Wedding From Hell story is about my younger sister Sarah's wedding. Her soon-to-be husbands family (mother, father, sisters) didn't like her, so to show her just how much they didn't like her as she and her new husband were cutting their wedding cake, her husbands family were at another table having a b-day party for her father-in-law. They were singing Happy Birthday and cutting a cake they had brought to the reception. Needless to say, that marriage lasted 2 years, after living together for 6 years!!! No children, thank God!!!!


 I am unsure which heading this would story would fall under; however I believe Smother of the Bride would do. I must say that I have enjoyed your web site, and am thankful that my own wedding is nearly 7 years in the past. I am only about half way through reading it, and am laughing wholeheartedly at many of these stories. In this story, I am, unfortunately, the ignorant Bride.

My husband and I met when we were assigned to the same unit in the armed forces. We became engaged in the fall, and decided to elope, as neither of us had the money nor the "guaranteed time" to take from work to become married in a large church wedding. On top of that, his family is from the coast, and mine from the Midwest. We spoke to our families, and his mother supported our decision. She asked if we planned to renew our vows in the future and if so would we go "all out". We said we would, of course.

My own father seemed to agree with us, and I thought my mother did as well. Boy, was I wrong. We were married in a little Southern city, before a Notary and it was truly lovely. Our two best friends stood for us. Then, Fates would have it, we were able to afford to see our families for the holidays that year. We were very excited and called home to share our good news. My mother was very happy, and I thought, a little strange; but we put it down to our unorthodox decision (for my family) to elope.

We flew in about a week before Christmas, and went to church that Sunday to worship with my family. I had sent a announcement to the church right after we were married, and stated that I thanked everyone for their prayers, and wished circumstances had been different so that they could have shared this time with us. From the pulpit the minister read our "Wedding Invitation" and congratulated us. Now, I looked at my husband P. and whispered "Invitation?" He was just as confused as I was.

My mother decided to explain to us that afternoon that she and the church had decided to put on a "real" wedding for us! She had spoken to P. about his families addresses in order to send them Christmas cards, or so we thought. She sent them invites, and due to the short notice they couldn't come from every corner of the globe. She invited all of her relatives, my fathers relatives, and some of their friends. No friends of mine from school, but my horrid cousins, had their invitation. She also told the minister not to read our announcement. Most of those lovely church ladies thought we weren't married yet, and wanted to give us a special memory of how they loved us before we went back to service after the holidays!

Well, I had to find a dress, as my lovely wedding dress was being stored with all of our things until we moved again, and had a terrible time. Now, soldiers, sailors and marines do not make a great deal of money. We made- together- perhaps 1200$ a month. Most of that we blew to go home, and for gifts for Christmas. We thought we were going to celebrate the times with our loved ones, not get married... So my husband and I- still in shock- went shopping for a dress. I narrowed it down to 2, one blue and one red. The blue one was short, and I was not going to wear a cocktail dress to a wedding so I bought the red one: tea length, classy and very bright. Shopping at Christmas time for a dress is dangerous stuff -let me tell you. And my mother told me under no uncertain terms that both of us wearing our dress uniforms was "bad form". Hmmmm, I thought... But she's my mother, so I listened to her. I believe I was still in shock. To top that my sister stood for me as the Maid Honor, and my brother (who never even met my husband until a few days before) was the Best Man. My sister told me later that she thought my husband and I were coordinating this whole thing with my mother's help, and that we had asked for them to do this for us! I was grateful, yes, but shocked nonetheless.

The Bridal Shower was a disaster. I went in jeans, because I didn't know that that was what we were doing. I was told that we were going shopping. It was held in the church reception area, and all the church ladies were in pretty dresses and all "decked out" for a high-tea style shower. I felt like a bumpkin! I was taught from the time I was small how to dress for occasions.

The next day the minister called and wished for us to go up to the church and speak to him. We went and he told me that he had no desire to marry us, as we were "living in sin". I informed him the we were already married. My husband even went so far as to tell him that this "whole fiasco" (his words, not mine) was a terrible surprise for us, and we could call the whole thing off with no problem. I still had our marriage license in my purse, and when I produced it the minister visibly deflated, and then offered to officiate the service for us. How magnanimous!

Finally the day arrived. We were married, again, without a problem. Then we had a reception. I hate being the center of attention, and this was a Southern Baptist Reception, so the wedding part was the center of attention. I think that my mother actually watched us eat. We had music, but no champagne or wine, thank God for small favors, actually- it would have been ugly, and no dancing. I wanted to crawl under a rock when my mother toasted us, and finally informed the guests that my husband and I were married already and wasn't this a wonderful surprise for us! We had tried to tell the guests that we were married previously- but couldn't catch everyone. It was terrible... My husband and I felt, because we had eloped we didn't want gifts, money or anything. We were trying to avoid the reception-thing. We also were looking at our living arrangements: barracks rooms before our marriage. We planned to purchase what we needed as we could. I felt I had no right to ask for anything, and didn't want anything but love and support from our families and friends.

I hope never to hear of any one's mother doing the same thing to them. I sent thank you cards out with apologies to everyone. I still get anniversary cards from my mother dated for the wedding she threw for us! And she has the audacity to tell people what a lovely wedding my husband and I put on. Please warn your readers to beware doing this. When couples elope they want to avoid the hoopla and problems "traditional" weddings create. In fact, my husband and I are planning to pay our children to elope, and just send us photos! I have no desire to even help plan a wedding... not ever again. Thank you for your time. I hope that I could, at least, amuse you, as this has gone from humiliating to highly amusing to my husband and I. witches0415-03

My ex husband "Doug" and I were married in 1987, and divorced in 1994. I should have known from the way my mother in law and sister in law acted that the marriage was a mistake. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Doug and I are Jewish, and we planned a lovely Sunday afternoon wedding at a catering hall. Rehearsal dinners are not a Jewish custom (you don't have a rehearsal, so no rehearsal dinner either), so my parents asked my future in-laws to pay some of the costs. My in-laws paid for the band and Doug paid the Rabbi's fee. The rest of the expenses were paid by my parents. Cocktail hour, sit-down dinner, etc.

The problems started when I took the bridesmaids shopping for dresses. I had asked my 3 sisters and Doug's older sister Rose to be my attendants. Rose is a large woman, and we could not find a dress in her size. Finally I selected one that could be made to fit her if we ordered additional material and had the bridal shop insert two panels into the back of the dress. Rose didn't want to pay for the extra material, so my mother generously offered to foot the bill. My sisters all bought satin shoes to dye to match the dresses, but Rose insisted on wearing white shoes with the gown. Fortunately the gown was floor length, and her shoes were not very noticeable. At least I kept Rose out of white lace -- at two other weddings that summer, she showed up in very bridal-looking outfits.

My mother in law, Ruth, was not happy with her dress either. In a Jewish wedding, the groom is escorted down the aisle by both of his parents, and the bride is escorted by her parents. I also wanted to have my elderly grandmother walk down the aisle, as she was my only grandparent still alive, and Doug's grandparents had all passed away years before. It was agreed that the mothers and my grandmother would all buy dresses from the same bridal shop where I bought my gown and where the bridesmaids bought their gowns. My mother was recuperating from an illness and was in no hurry to shop for a dress for herself. Ruth didn't want to wait until my mother had selected a dress, but went shopping while my mother was still recuperating. But Ruth wound up being disappointed. My aunt had taken my grandmother shopping for a dress, and the dress Ruth wanted was the one my grandmother had already selected. Ruth had to accept her second choice.

When we went for the fittings, my gown was perfect My sisters' gowns were perfect. My grandmother's gown was perfect. My mother's gown was perfect. But for some reason Ruth and Rose were very dissatisfied. They complained about everything! The owner of the shop -- a friend of my aunt's -- was truly exasperated with them.

My sister was my maid of honor, but she wasn't in a position to arrange for a bridal shower, and my aunt loved to throw parties. So my aunt planned and paid for my shower. Ruth and Rose refused to attend "because they weren't consulted". Of course, that meant that all of Doug's female relatives declined to attend as well.

I spent a lot of money on wedding invitations. My aunt volunteered to address the invitations. Ruth threw a hissy fit and insisted on addressing the invitations that would be sent to her family and friends. My response cards read "Please reply by June 6." Ruth took a magic marker to "her" response cards and changed the "June" to "May." She figured that if she got a lot of negative responses, she could invite more people.

Then there was the response card from Doug's friend Betty. Doug had been friends with Betty for several years, and invited her to the wedding. The invitation was addressed to "Ms. Betty Smith", but the response card indicated that "Betty and Mitch and Agnes" would attend the wedding. Doug explained that Mitch was Betty's boyfriend and Agnes was Betty's mother. Ruth had run into Agnes in the supermarket and told Agnes to come to the wedding! Ruth refused to "uninvite" Mitch and Agnes. None of them showed up for the wedding, and I had to pay for three dinners for guests who weren't there. Neither Betty nor Agnes called Doug or Ruth to explain what had happened.

Fast forward two years. Doug and I were making a party in our home for our friends. Rose ran into Betty in the supermarket and invited Betty to my party! (Like mother, like daughter.) Betty showed up at my house for the party with a wedding present for me and Doug -- bath towels. Betty explained that on the morning of my wedding, she found out that Mitch was cheating on her, and she was so devastated she couldn't function. But that was in the past. She met a wonderful man, Tom, and she was getting married in two months. She never bothered to explain why she hadn't called us or written to us in two years.

Betty sent one invitation to Ruth's house, in which she invited Ruth, my father in law, Rose, Rose's boyfriend, Doug and me. Ruth accepted the invitation for all of us without asking if I wanted to go ---I didn't. Doug and I wound up fighting over whether to go to the wedding, and finally I caved in and said I'd go. The ceremony was in a church, with the reception to immediately follow in a rented hall 15 minutes away. the guests all went to the hall, while the wedding party went to a nearby park to pose for photographs.

The reception consisted of trays of macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, etc., warming over sterno on a buffet table. Of course, none of the food could be served until the bride and groom arrived. And the bartender was instructed not to begin serving until the wedding party arrived. I'm not a snob -- one of the best weddings I ever went to was a backyard affair where the groom's mother did most of the cooking herself -- but I didn't think it was right to expect the guests to just sit there looking at the food and waiting on the bride and groom. And waiting. And waiting. They must have posed for pictures at the park for close to two hours.

Finally the bride and groom arrive, and the band announces that the bride and groom will have their first dance. At most weddings I've been to, the bride and groom dance for a few minutes, then the wedding party joins them, then all the guests are invited to dance just a few minutes later. But this wedding was much more formal. the bride and groom danced together for an entire song. then the maid of honor danced with the best man for an entire song, then...twenty minutes later, they were still dancing, none of the guests were invited to dance, and we still had not been served any food or beverages.

Meanwhile Doug had picked a fight with me. I'd finally had enough, so I left him and his miserable family at the wedding and called my dad to come pick me up. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with my parents. We gave Betty and Tom cash for their wedding present, by the way. I never got a thank you, and I never heard from Betty again.   Witches0415-03

My now husband totally surprised me by proposing in October a few years back. We'd been living together and had discussed it, but I thought a proposal and ring were months away. Of course I said yes.

My younger brother was in a long term relationship with a young lady who was very close to our family. She often talked of giving him ultimatums to propose but it hadn't happened yet. Shortly after we became engaged we got together with them to announce our engagement and ask them to be in our wedding party the following October. The tension was palpable. Her response to our news was to inform us that they too were talking about getting married the following year. No ring, no date, but it just might happen? That's fine, but we got the impression that she was annoyed that we'd had the audacity to get engaged first.

Shortly after this, they did become formally engaged. Our date had been set for some time and "save the dates" had been sent out to family & close friends, as most would have to travel halfway across the country to attend. We'd reserved the church and booked the reception site. She told me that they would probably marry the following year.

I had recommend, to her, the bridal shop where I'd purchased my gown and she and I made plans to get together one Sunday and go shopping for her wedding dress together. I called that morning to see when & where she wanted to meet and my brother told me she'd left earlier in the morning. I explained to him that the dress shop didn't open for another few hours. He told me that she'd called the owner and had arranged for them to open early, just for her. Huh? Why? So I got in my car and headed over. Sure enough, there she was, looking gorgeous, modeling her gown, explaining to the owner that she needed the gown ASAP because they were getting married in 3 months. That was news to me. I stepped outside and called my Mom to confirm this. I was sick to my stomach thinking about how our relatives would have to choose between two far away weddings so close together. It was news to my Mom as well, who then called my brother only to find that it was news to him too.

I kept my mouth shut that morning but was certain the shop owner, who had opened up the store early on a Sunday morning for her was pissed off that she refused to even put down a deposit on the dress. She was really just racing me to the altar.

They did not get married that spring. Fast forward to my wedding. Her contempt was barely hidden. In fact, it's become a family joke that she looks mad in every single photograph. She didn't even bother to smile for any photos, prompting the photographer to actually comment on it.

She and my brother did marry, and what happened to me at their wedding deserves a story of it's own, but I'll put it here.

They decided on a Las Vegas wedding the following spring. Immediate and some extended family and friends flew out for the occasion. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. It seemed that things weren't going according to her plan and she was growing annoyed that everyone (meaning our side of the family) wasn't cooperating. It culminated with my brother and I getting into a huge fight a couple of hours before the ceremony because she told him that I was upsetting her. Whatever.

The ceremony was really nice and a lot of fun, being Vegas and all. Afterwards we all went to dinner at a restaurant hosted by her father. Towards the end of the meal, her mother approached me and asked if I would hold onto the bride's wallet for the rest of the evening. I said yes. Since my bag was tiny this involved me throwing out all nonessential items to make room for it. After dinner we went outside to watch the light show on Fremont St. I was thirsty, so my husband and I walked to a local convenience store to grab a soda. When we returned to our group there was an uproar taking place. The bride's wallet was missing and no one knew where it was. Not even the bride's mother. Hmmmm. Everyone was searching frantically as I pushed through the crowd to let them know that I had the wallet. She was shocked and asked why I'd taken it. My brother was furious that I'd apparently pick-pocketed his lovely bride.

That was it for me. I handed over the wallet and walked away. After two months of marriage she managed to estrange my brother from us, because we were so awful to her, or so she claimed. He & I didn't speak until she divorced him a couple of years later.   Witches0507-03

I'm getting married in 17 days, and have really enjoyed your website. Though I probably shouldn't be reading about wedding horror stories this close to my own wedding...might make me nervous.

I have to admit that my fiancé and I have been really lucky with our wedding. We're planning it from a distance (600 miles away), and both sets of parents have been incredibly supportive.

However our friends who got married a months ago...had a completely different experience. The Bride's mother is one of those controlling overbearing types who decided that she was going to plan everything in their wedding down to the last detail (without consulting the bride and groom). Needless to say the stress of having someone like that involved is difficult enough to deal with. But the kicker was when she planned the engagement party. Both Nicole and Dave expressed to her that there was only one date they could not have the engagement party. One of Dave's best friends was having his bachelor party that day. And of course that was the day that Nicole's mother picked for the engagement party, so not only was Dave unable to go to one of his best friend's bachelor party, but none of his friends were able to come to his engagement party. Luckily Dave didn't take it out on his friends, but his future MIL.

Planning our own wedding my fiancé and I knew how important it was to RSVP to their wedding on time. So, the same day we received their invitation we returned our RSVP. Well when we got to the wedding reception, and met Nicole's mother in the greeting line, she was surprised that we were there b/c she had never received our RSVP. Needless to say we didn't want them to think we were crashing their wedding, and explained that we had RSVPed immediately. Well she apologized profusely...and we all determined that is must have gotten lost in the mail.

Later on during the reception though, we learned that our RSVP wasn't the only RSVP that got "lost in the mail." It seems that quite a few of Dave's friends' RSVPs were "lost in the mail." Hmmmm....

Since Dave has become involved with Nicole's family, his friends have been seeing him less and less, except for the occasional email stating, "My Mother-In-Law is driving me crazy."

We can all understand why.     Witches0507-03

Hi I love your site and the only thing keeping me from losing my sanity is that I get to send my story to you!!!!

My fiancé and I met when we were first 5, then years later were set-up by a mutual friend and became high school sweethearts. We broke up two weeks before his prom (another story!) but because of our mutual friend, who is our BM, we always stayed in touch. A few years ago we decided to try again and the flame had never gone away. In HS, my FMIL was a bit on the *overly excited* side. Once, when she had a fight with my DH2B she called the police to have him arrested for stealing his car - yes HIS car, but she said it was hers just to cause him the problem. He proved it was his car and was released, but that is just an example.

We were engaged last summer, and I was overwhelmed by the beautiful diamond his mother and stepfather gave to him from a deceased family member. We were on our way to a wonderful start I thought.

Then, the wedding planning began. We all knew the FMIL was still upset about her daughters husband's family not contributing to the wedding the previous year, so I never imagined that would be a problem. But it is. To this day - 100 days to the Fall wedding one year after the engagement, they have not said word one about contributing any $$ - even for extras they have specifically requested. Fortunately, after the rest of the story, my parents have put an end to their generosity and have decided to cut back on honoring certain extravagant requests. And told them as much, without being as low class as them.

So, here goes for more...

First they throw us a "not an engagement engagement party" to meet their friends since they live far away. Wonderful and thoughtful. However, they knew money was tight for us, and didn't consult first, and then we had to come up with very high airfare for holiday travel. Ok, fine, we need a vacation. We get there and the night of the party arrives. I am waiting for my parents to show as I need help with the dress my mother found for the party. I start to walk upstairs only to have my FMIL *SCREAM* at me and my sister that MY GUESTS were arriving I could not go back downstairs. MY GUESTS? They were her friends! I wasn't dressed completely yet. So I spent the whole party with a wrap to hide it. I went around and introduced myself to her friends who were there to see her and some of them didn't even know my name prior. (Most likely this is their faux pas. Not the FM/FIL)

FMIL generously offers a wedding band as a gift. I tell my DH2B that it is wonderful, but I don't like it and it is 3 sizes too big and does not look right with my engagement ring - too gaudy and I am simple. To maintain a sense of graciousness I thank her and accept the offer, figuring I could wear it alone or on the other hand. On the date she is to give it to me as a holiday present, she informs me that she has decided to wait to give it me until closer to the wedding - fine, except I didn't want her to know that I have to have it reset completely so she wouldn't feel obligated to pay for it after all her generosity. I asked if she could get it to me with enough time before the wedding so we would be prepared. 100 days to the wedding. No ring. When I asked her about it and finally told her I needed to get it sized, she hung up on me and has not brought it up again. Neither have I.

Later, time comes for my shower list - my family member hosting the shower needed to know how many people she wanted to invite by the next evening to reserve the room. She emails me - yes, me THE BRIDE - with a list of names saying she doesn't have time to deal with it, I can type it up and get the addresses since I have them. Fine, I do it, in the name of love for my DH2B and forget all about it. Until last week, when the invitations were sent out and received. Apparently, my FMIL FORGOT to invite some family members, invited family members that don't speak to them and told those she had forgotten to invite that they were invited. I, the bride had only invited 3 friends. She speaks to my mother, also not the host of this shower, and asks if she can add to the list. My mother says no we are already 12 people over and need people to hopefully not come or it will cost a lot more $$ to the kind relative throwing it for me. Well, that isn't enough for FMIL. She begins to call me, asking me to call my relative to let her invite more people. All day while I am at work trying to meet a deadline, WHICH I TOLD HER. Finally, I say I am in no position to help her as I am not in charge of the party, she will need to speak with my mother or the host. After all the "No, we really can't invite any more people it is too many already" and the "Please do not call the hostess as she is away and has stated no more guests," FMIL does it anyway and doesn't give up until she can have all her friends invited. All of her guests are friends she never gets to see since they live far from her in my hometown. I have never met them, but they will all be there. My DH2B spoke to her, explaining that it is inappropriate to involve me with these issues, at work, and with the stress. Her response is now that she will just not speak to me to avoid anymore *misunderstandings.* I am still trying to figure out how I have misunderstood this!


I'm not one hundred percent certain where this story should fit (gee, you don't hear that all the time, do you?). But, it's definitely amusing and gives a good look at what my life is as my husband's second wife...

My husband's first marriage was to a woman that he had known from high school that gives the appearance of being very sweet, innocent, and small-town charming; on the surface at least. During their wedding preparations, her family's church moved into a larger sanctuary. Now, this particular church has a higher proportion of people who are into religion simply for the show-off aspects than most. My husband's then fiancée, we'll call her H for short, is well-connected in this church, what with her father being a deacon and her mother being the secretary. In fact, she's so well-connected that, when another wedding was planned before hers to be the first wedding in the new sanctuary, her mother moved that other wedding's date without hesitation. After all, Her daughter should be the first one married in the new sanctuary...

I often wonder what that other bride thought -- when I'm not restraining myself in dealing with someone so petty.

I adore this site despite my utter fear at the fact that impoliteness seems to be running rampant.    Witches0708-03

Hi, this story has to do with my mother-in-law and all the things she tried to do to ruin our wedding. To begin with, I should say that she has some serious mental problems and needs much counseling and medication. I knew that she was a strange person before we got engaged, but I just had no idea how strange. One problem is that my husband had taken on the role of a pseudo-father/husband for the family after his parents divorced. Because she couldn't afford the house payments on her own, my dear husband continued to live with her and pay most of the bills nearly up to the time we were married when we were both 26. Because of this, she had a tight attachment to him, and I daresay, could not deal with him getting married and leaving.

In the beginning, she claimed she was just thrilled for us, although I found out later she asked him why we wanted to get married within three months of the engagement, and specifically asked if I was pregnant. My husband and I are both devout Christians and were waiting until our wedding night which is something she new already. She tried to convince him to postpone the wedding until after the beginning of the year, but he refused.

Later on, she invited me to her house a few days before my wedding shower to talk about plans for the wedding. She made it clear that no one could take photo's of her because in her words, "I look like a freak in pictures." I don't think she's freakish-looking at all, but whatever. Fine. Our talk goes really well, and she talks about how excited and thrilled she is; I think she's getting into the idea of the marriage, although she claims she cannot come to the afternoon shower because she works the nightshift and doesn't get off until 6:00 a.m. I respect that.

Well, my parents came down the day of the shower and during my shower, my husband took my father to pick out tuxes. My husband and I were in the market to buy a house, so he decided to take my father to see a house we looked at and were considering buying. Mind you, they were not going in, just driving by the house so he could see the outside of the house. My husband had already driven his mother over earlier that week to show her the same thing. After the shower, I drove my sister and mother over to show them. Husband-to-be returned home that night to loan his mother his car to drive to work since hers was broke-down. She asked him if he had taken my family to see the house. He tells her that he had taken my father since it was on the way to the tux shop; neither the shop or the house is anywhere near her house. Well, she becomes irate because apparently she told him that if we went to see the house, she wanted to come too. He explains that they went just after noon and it was just him and my father, not the whole family. She says it didn't matter, because she would have come anyway. Of course, I'm thinking, "You can't come to my shower because you work the night shift, but you would get up early to go drive by a house you've already seen?" He apologizes to her, but says it was no big deal. She screams that it was a big deal because she wanted to see the expression on my parent's faces when they first saw it. She heads off to work in his car, then calls him back and tells him that he has been very disrespectful to her wishes and he needs to move out and have all of his stuff gone within 3 days. Mind you, this is 3 weeks before the wedding, when we are finalizing things and considering buying this house. Very stressful time. Plus, he had always treated her with such respect and put his life on hold to make everything okay for her for years. He's upset, but he moves out and stays with me until the wedding.

He convinces her to meet with him and our preacher to talk about things. While there the preacher asks if she wants him to cancel the wedding; she says that she postponed her own wedding over family issues, and her daughter is having problems that Josh needs to help out with. The 19-year-old daughter doesn't even live with her mother, so I can't imagine what she thought Josh was supposed to do about a spoiled 19-year-old who doesn't come around much. They try to explain to her that she needs to respect the fact that this wedding is very important to Josh and he needs to think about himself during this time, but she's not having it. She also won't say whether or not she's coming to the wedding. I write her a nice note and tell her I need to know what type of corsage she would like; I don't mention any of the bad blood, but just tell her I look forward to seeing her. She never responds.

The night before the wedding my other future SIL says she's going by the house to help her mother pick out something to wear to the wedding (she didn't come to the rehearsal.) Well, the wedding day arrives and she never shows up. My husband is very hurt, but he puts on a brave face and says that he's come to expect these things from her, so it's no big deal. I am seething because I know how hurt he really is. The wedding is beautiful, the honeymoon is wonderful, and when we get back, he calls her and asks her why she didn't come. She refuses to say and says she won't apologize because she did nothing wrong. Five weeks pass, and I run into her; the only thing she ever asks me is how my dogs are doing. She doesn't mention the wedding or my husband. I get riled up and I again write her a letter; this time I tell her how hurt we both were and that in order for us to be one big happy family, we need to talk this out. She send a wedding card via my husband saying she loves us both, but the note never addresses the problem or any of the questions I asked her. I'm still angry, but figure we will try to move on. 5 months pass and we invite her to go out with us and some friends for my husband's birthday; I explain that we are all going out to eat, but it will be our treat. She says that sounds great and she can't wait. The day arrives and she shows up with a ton of food from the Cracker Barrel, which she calls her gift, saying that now we don't have to go out; we can just stay in, which is what she would prefer. I am steamed, but I say nothing other than that it was a nice gesture. My husband tells her that we appreciate it, but we are still going to the restaurant. She tells him no, that we are staying in. Our guests arrive and my dear friend also tells her we appreciate it, but we were all looking forward to going out, and that she just knows my MIL will love it. MIL is quiet, but says she doesn't know how to get there. Dear friend says she will drive us all. We all head out to the van, minus my husband and MIL who are in the kitchen talking. We wait in the car, and finally husband comes out with his head held low. He says that MIL doesn't want to go, because she's got to work later on (about 7 hours later!) and that she wants us to come inside and spend an hour with her and then we can leave. I am furious, but for his sake we all trudge back inside. She loudly thanks everyone for coming back in and tells us we are really good Christians. We all move into the kitchen and she keeps going on and on about working the night shift and how she can't possibly go out for dinner; she then tells us she has a BIG SURPRISE! I feel a knot of dread in my stomach; she then turns to my husband and me and announces grandly that she would like to present us with a check for $1,000 as a wedding gift. Mind you, it's nearly 6 months after the wedding, and I don't want anything from her. Regardless, we accept and quietly thank her. She scurries off later on and my husband realizes she wrote the check out to a mortgage company other than ours. He calls her and explains that it's the wrong company, plus he would prefer she just make the check out to him because our furnace had broken. She refuses and says she will only write the check out as a house payment. She re-writes and against my better wishes, he sends it on. I'm assuming she just wants to tell people that she helped us buy our house.

Since then she has treated me like I'm just some girl he's shacking up with. I try to avoid her like the plague, but I'm still cordial when I have to be around her. She is a real piece of work.    Witches0723-03

When my uncle was married, he and my aunt asked me to sit at the guest book at the reception (I was ten years old at the time). When they first asked me to do this months before the wedding, I asked my uncle (a big joker) what I needed to do, and he told me, "Charge everyone a dollar as they come in the door".

As one of the guests came in, he asked me, "Is there an admission fee?", and I laughed and told him, "Uncle Bruce said to charge everyone a dollar". He thought this was hilarious, and fished a dollar from his wallet, despite my protests that my uncle was only kidding. He told me, "Just tell your uncle that's my wedding present!", and went in. My mother came by to check on me later on, and asked me, "Where did you get this dollar from?". I told her that a man had asked if there was admission, and I had said Uncle Bruce had said to charge a dollar, so the man had given me a dollar and wouldn't take it back even though I told him it was a joke and tried to return it. My mother freaked out and began yelling at me in front of the whole procession of guests, because she jumped to the conclusion that I hadn't realized this was a joke and had been asking everyone for money.

Being ten, and with the way my mother had acted, I thought that I had done something terrible and unforgivable, so as soon as she walked away, I proceeded to put my head down on the table and sob as the rest of the guests filed in. Naturally, this was not the pleasant welcome that my uncle and aunt had planned for, and it raised a lot of questions from the guests as they entered the receiving line (a few asked me themselves, but of course, I couldn't bear to tell them about the "horrible thing" I had done, especially since I might risk obtaining more dollar bills as a result!). I overheard one woman ask the mother of the bride, "What is wrong with that girl?", and my uncle's new mother-in-law replied, "She gets very emotional at weddings"! (Nice cover!)

Finally, my grandma came to see what had happened, and I hysterically poured out the story of how the dollar had been forced on me, mom was very, very angry, and the wedding is ruined. My grandma then went to find my mother and told her that since she had made me cry, she better get me to stop crying fast. My mother returned and presented me with an entire pack of Lifesavers, but instead of telling me that it was not my fault, she told me that the only way I could salvage what I had done was to give the dollar to my uncle and apologize for my actions! Later on, I presented the dollar to him when we danced together, and told him I was sorry that I had "ruined his wedding". He felt so bad at how upset I was that he offered to let me keep the dollar, at which point I nearly had a panic attack saying that mom had told me that the only way to make it right was for him to take it. Fifteen years later, my entire extended family still refuses to believe that I wasn't hustling everyone at the wedding for money.     Witches0713-03