Witches of the Weddings
Momsters, Smothers of
the Bride or Groom, SIniSTER/SIniSTERs-in-Law, Bothers/Bothers-in-lLaw and Dadulas
Jun-Dec 2000 Archive
Jan-Jul 2003 Archive
Jan-Jun 2004 Archive
I got married in August 2004, after a 2 year engagement to the most
wonderful man God ever put on this earth. I love his family, too, even his
mother, despite the behavior I am about to relate.
I’ll call her Colleen. Colleen is generally a very nice woman. Let
me preface with that. She likes me and we get along well. She was excited
to hear that her son and I were engaged and since my mother lives 1200
miles away, I was grateful that she was so interested in helping with the
planning. The thing is, she is one of 9 children (9 still living, 11
total) and is very close with her sisters especially. They all live at
least a few states away, and they all have husbands and children of their
own and some grandchildren. She understandably wanted to invite each and
every one of them to the wedding. My family is small; I have one sister,
one aunt, one uncle, and one cousin, and one grandmother. My father lives
on $600 a month permanent disability payments from social security. My mom
makes slightly more than minimum wage. Needless to say, my parents could
not afford a wedding to accommodate this many people. My fiancé works
retail making very little money, and I just graduated from law school but
was still searching for a job.
From the outset, I expressed my concern to Colleen that there was no
way we could pay for a wedding that big. I jokingly suggested beans and
weenies and a keg or two. Repeatedly I expressed this concern when hearing
her suggestions for the who what and where of the reception, and
repeatedly, Colleen said “Don’t worry about it. It will work out.
We’ll work it out.” I took this to mean that, while my mother,
myself, and my fiancé would contribute, she was planning to pay for these
things she wanted that we couldn’t afford. She as much as said it, by
saying “Don’t worry, he’s my baby boy, I’ll see to it that this
wedding is wonderful.” I suggested a cocktail/appetizer deli tray
type of reception and she said “I’ll not have that! My SISTERS, my
whole family is coming!” OK. Full dinner buffet it is.
We decided to have the ceremony in his parent’s yard with a reception
at the local Elk’s club. Colleen went nuts landscaping. She planted tons
of flowers, repainted everything that could be painted, added a new walk
way, etc., did a ton of work, with which my fiancé and I helped each
weekend. I kept telling her that their property was so beautiful the way
it was and it wasn’t really necessary to do all this, but she insisted.
In the meantime, my mom bought my dress, my fiancé and I ordered and paid
for the invitations and secured and paid a deposit on the photographer.
Colleen paid for the cake, paid the deposit on the hall and bought some
material to make me some beautiful napkins. So far so good, right?
Of course, the biggest expense is the catering. It was working out to
cost around $800, which I know is cheap in “wedding land” but still
more money than I or my family had. Again, I was told don’t worry about
it. We planned an open bar. “Don’t worry!” Got a professional
DJ. “Don’t worry about it!” Cut to 2 weeks before the wedding.
Colleen decides to have a brand new car port installed at her house to the
tune of $1200, which my fiancé tells me was to impress her sisters, 2 of
whom drive Cadillacs.
The next thing we hear from her is “so, who’s paying for all this
wedding stuff?” I was hysterical, though not to her face because I
didn’t want to seem greedy. The closer it got the more I panicked. At
one point, Colleen said that my dad needed to “get off his ass and pay
for some of this.” HELLO?? He lives on $600 a month!! She
makes twice that in one paycheck..
In the meantime, Gina, a good friend of my mother’s made our
centerpieces, free of charge, as her gift to us. They were gorgeous and we
were complimented by many people as to their beauty. Gina also decorated
the hall, along with some of Colleen’s work friends, and her touches
made the difference between “nice” and “elegant”. Colleen,
however, didn’t like Gina’s “butting in” and treated her very
rudely and said that the centerpieces were “ho-hum”. Probably because
we didn’t go with her idea of vases with marbles in them.
Cut to the morning of the wedding. My mom, me, my sister and my
bridesmaids are at a hotel. Mom, sis, and I share a room. We are awakened
at 8 a.m by the ringing phone. It is Colleen. She demands that my mother
get to her house immediately to make the barbecued chicken wings (we did
our own appetizers). My mom went. The ceremony was to be at 3:00.
The bridesmaids got dressed. The hair dresser (friend of mine, did their
hair very cheaply as a gift for me) got there at eleven and did
everyone’s hair. It is 1:00 now. I am still in my pajamas, because I
refuse to get ready without my mother. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to
be? The bride’s mother helping her daughter get ready on her wedding
day? Apparently, Colleen didn’t care. She completely treated my mom like
she was just another person, not the MOB. The others finally convinced me
to get in the shower and get dressed around two.
My mom finally got back at about 2:30, as my hair was getting done. My
poor mother didn’t even have time to get a shower. I asked what was
going on at the house, and she said well, I’ve been making appetizers
while Colleen has been getting dressed and getting her hair done. Mom
only had time enough for a very quick hair styling and to get dressed…
no shower, minimal makeup. In the pictures, she looks so tired and worn
and not at all like a MOB. I will never forgive Colleen for ruining my
wedding day for my mother. She is normally so nice and I have no idea what
made her act like that to my mom. I forgot to mention, my mom was
recovering from a broken ankle and was about to have back surgery at the
In the end, the guest list came to 35 on my side, 80 on Colleen’s. My
mom, my fiancé and I paid for the caterer, the hall, the photographer,
the rental of the dishes, silverware, and glasses, the officiant’s gift
and the flowers. Thank goodness we got a lot of cash gifts, because we had
to use most of it to pay for the open bar. Our honeymoon was 3 days in
Pittsburgh, the nearest city to our hometown. We stayed
at a Best Western. Wa-hoo.
To top it all off, Colleen recently said to me, about mom’s friend
Gina, “Who did she think she was, coming in there and decorating?
She’s nobody, she’s not FAMILY!” As if Colleen’s friends from work
Ok, I’ve never griped about all this to anybody, and it feels good to
get it off my chest. I have a good relationship with Colleen, but I’ll
never forget all this.
The first part of this story could go under the Wicked Witches of
the Wedding category .. the last part, I'm not sure. I kind of
got would up once I started. :) My MIL and I got along
just fine until she realized that her son and I were serious about each
other .. then suddenly I became, in her eyes, the right hand of Satan.
We were very young, and looking back on it, I can understand her freaking
out about our being so serious, so young. As long as I live,
however, I will never be able to understand the rest of her
We were in our teens when we announced that we wished to marry after DH
got out of college. "Claudette" freaked and had several
discussions with him about how he was too young and had not "played
the field" enough to know what he wanted. OK, fair point, only
she had made a habit of telling DH what he wanted his entire life.
When he was unpacking his bags in his dorm room, he found a gigantic box
of condoms she had bought and stashed for him in his luggage.
Fast forward several years, and countless episodes of weird
annoying behavior. DH and I are planning our small wedding. Neither
of our families are wealthy, and DH and I were paying for the whole thing
ourselves. At my mother's insistence, we asked Claudette if she
wished to help, so as not to leave her out. She left no doubt that
she had no interest in the proceedings. OK .. no problem. Our
tastes are not compatible anyway, so this was probably for the best.
I did ask her one favor (in hindsight, very foolishly) .. I asked her to
address and mail the invitations to her aunts in a neighboring state.
I have some modest artistic and calligraphic talent, so to save money (and
for fun) I had handmade and scripted our few invitations. I had
already put postage on them; all she needed to do was fill out the
envelopes and put them in the mailbox.
I should have known something when NONE of his out-of-state relatives
showed up, despite sending us some lovely gifts. DH was
devastated and my heart ached for him. Despite that, the
wedding went off beautifully and we didn't even have to use our bouncers.
(Side note: our reverend was familiar with the situation, and
when we asked him about possible disruptions during the ceremony, he
suggested that we quietly designate a couple of family members as
"bouncers" and have them ready to escort Claudette out
if she started anything. We took his suggestion but
fortunately, she behaved herself during the ceremony.)
After the ceremony, my sisters and I were talking in the hall near the
kitchen of the church. DH had gone into the kitchen, and we heard
him greet Claudette: "Well, Mother?" She replied coldly,
"Well WHAT?" He gamely continued, "What did you
think?" Claudette: "You got married. Was I
supposed to JUMP for JOY?" My sisters immediately began to fuss
over me, but all I could do was laugh. DH walked out shaking his
head. We found out much later (YEARS later) that
the relatives had never received their invitations. All they'd got
was a series of impatient phone calls from Claudette saying that we
weren't sending invitations, but that we wanted presents anyway. I
could have throttled her, and kicked myself for entrusting the invitations
to her, as NOTHING could have been further from the truth. I
was looking so forward to my family meeting DH's great-aunts, who are a
wonderful (and understanding) group of ladies. I have never figured
out how much damage was done or how best to repair it.
About a year later, DH and I found a great deal and bought our first
house. This was a big deal as we were the first in either
family to do so. We didn't have much, but we spent many happy hours
planning how we would decorate and the furniture we would buy. A
couple of months after we moved in, Claudette showed up while I was at
work with a trunkful of fabric scraps and leftover paint. DH met her
at the door (since she never visited, he was a little wary). She
cheerfully advised him that she was there to decorate! Just like
this was some long-standing arrangement! He got rid of her, but not
before having to explain why it was rude to assume you could come and
decorate somebody else's house w/o their permission or so much as a
by-your-leave. He told me later that her chosen colors looked
like the Easter bunny had exploded in her car. (DH and I aren't
pastel people, as Claudette was well aware.)
Years passed, and we entered into sort of a tentative peace with
Claudette, mainly involving taking her in small doses, for the sake of DH
and his father and brother. The final straw came six years into
our marriage, when Claudette threw DH's 15-year-old brother out of her
house over some minor infraction. We arranged to have him stay
with us, and cut ties with Claudette. We have not voluntarily seen
or spoken to her in the past 7 years.
Then, last month on DH's birthday, we get a call from Claudette.
(How she got my cell phone number is another entry into EHell, but as this
one implicates my otherwise saintly mother, we will let it slide.)
Claudette spoke real big to me, just as friendly as you could imagine,
wondering if I remembered some minor accident she'd had 10 years before.
I didn't, so she got down to the real purpose for the call; she wanted to
speak to DH. Her attitude was as if she had just been talking to him
the day before and wanted to continue the conversation. I looked at
him and he shook his head fervently. I advised her that he didn't
wish to speak to her .. she wondered aloud what in the WORLD she had EVER
done to make him not want to talk to her, and didn't I think we should
just meet and talk about it all and move on? I said, quietly,
"Claudette, we HAVE moved on." Then she got ugly, reminded
me of what the Bible says about how to behave, snarkily wished us a
"nice life" and hung up. When I looked at my cell phone display, I was shocked and amused to see that it was flashing
"666". (The Biblical Mark of the Beast).
Let me begin this story by stating that my mother is an alcoholic, and
this is no secret to any of my relatives or family friends. I have (with
the help of Al Anon) realized that this isn't my fault, and while I am
often ashamed FOR her, I try not to get to ashamed on my own accord. My
friends understand the situation, so does everyone else, it's her problem.
Leading up to my wedding (200+ people, formal Catholic ceremony, lavish
reception) it was no secret that I began to worry that my mom would drink
too much and pull something outrageous. She's got a reputation for this,
so it was a valid concern. Unbeknownst to me, my little brother (barely 19
at the time, but mom's favorite) pulled her aside and threatened her. If
she got drunk and ruined her only daughter's only wedding, he said, he'd
never forgive her. Mom promised to be on her best behavior. All I knew was
that my baby brother assured me that mom would be cool, and I trusted him,
so that was one worry laid to rest.
Fast forward to the wedding. My maid of honor knows how crazy things
are (which is several other loooong stories). Having been my best friend
since age 11, she knows how my mom is. She hides from me the fact that my
mom finished all the champagne in the limo after we arrived at the church.
At the reception, things are getting going. I'm dashing about, putting out
fires (figuratively speaking) and trying to greet everyone and introduce
my new husband to people he's never met before and I barely know, like my
dad's first boss. I notice that I'm not seeing much of my mom, but no
commotion means no problems, so I don't stress.
After a lovely day and evening, despite the various wacky snafus, we
retired to our hotel, and went on our honeymoon. I mentioned many times
over the following months how pleased I was that my mother had stayed
sober for my big day. It wasn't until I'd been married for a year and a
half that I found out that she had been tanked before arriving at the
reception site, at 4:30 in the afternoon. My brother, in between
fulfilling his duties as a groom's man and brother of the bride, was
keeping my mom under control, forcing her outside whenever she started
getting belligerent and attempting to keep her drinking to a minimum
despite her threats.
If it wasn't for the best brother in the world, my wedding day would
have been very difficult. My husband, who normally intercedes and protects
me from her drunken tirades, was able to relax and enjoy our special
occasion, as was I. I still don't understand why any mother would be
willing to make her children so unhappy when a few hours of abstention
would make all the difference, but I no longer try. But for this stunt, I
think she deserves a Momster plaque!
As for us? Well, almost four years later, my husband and I are doing
wonderfully. My little brother has grown in to a great man, and he remains
very close to my husband and I. He's got a lovely girlfriend, whom I
adore, and I pray that if they eventually tie the knot that I'll be able
to repay his good deeds and ensure that their big day goes smoothly! If
not, well, you'll hear about it!
PS More on all of our other problems under Oops, Bridal Showers, and
many other places. Thanks for keeping up this wonderful site, Jeanne!
My fiancé and I had been together for over five years before we got
married. Neither one of us had spoken to his mother at that point for
about four years, personal reasons. We made it very clear to his family
that she was not invited. So, of course, as we were announced husband and
wife, I turned around to see the devil incarnate standing up all alone and
clapping and "raising the roof". As if that wasn't bad enough,
she actually had the gall to try and get in some of the pictures. She
tells me, "Well, I am the groom's mother!", to which I promptly
replied, "Okay, but you also were not invited!!!"
Needless to say, she stuck around the rest of the
evening being rude to the other guests. She was telling everyone that we
weren't going to make it past the first year, that our babies better look
like him or else they would be destined to be alone forever, or, my
favorite, I should be grateful to her for such a fabulous job she did
raising my husband. At this point my husband, quite drunk by now, grabbed
his mother and asked her to leave. When she started making a scene about
it, he simply threw her out and asked security to make sure she stayed
away. Not to anyone's surprise, she spent the rest of the night in a
It is one day until my son's wedding. We are having the rehearsal
dinner today, which the parents of the Bride refuse to attend because we
didn't pay for any part of the wedding. Let me tell you why.
About 6 months ago, my husband's father died and since he didn't leave
any money or life insurance to my mother in law, she needed to sell her
house to be able to live and pay bills. So my husband, being self
employed, turns down work and works on his mom's house to get it ready for
sale. My mother in law borrows money from her brother to buy an older
mobile home in a park for her to live in. We spent 3 months getting the
house ready for sale. A buyer has it inspected and turns out the house has
dryrot and beetles in most the beams holding the house up and the
flooring. This took about a month to fix. In all that time we had no
income. Our truck was repo'ed and the bank was getting ready to foreclose
on our house! Our phones were shut off and we owed 1200 to PUD, let alone
all out other bills. My mother in law paid us 10,000 when the house sold
but that was to get us caught up on our bills. After paying all our bills
up to date we had $200.00 left. We are back to working for a living but
are flat broke.
My son understood our situation. He and his bride had planned to get
married at the court house and have a celebration on their one year
anniversary. The MOB hears this and decided to pay for a wedding. But the
kids had to change the date of the wedding and work it all around the
MOB's family reunion. We, (parents of the groom) are told that we can only
invite immediate family members. We invited 15 and all are attending. The
MOB is inviting everyone she wants since she is paying for the wedding.
There has been no communication at all. I have called several times to
talk to the MOB but she wouldn't call me back. I've left messages about
the dinner, no response! Finally I get in touch with her 4 days before the
wedding all I hear about is how much she is paying. I explain our
situation, which my son has already done. She doesn't care. We did however
pay for the kids wedding and engagement rings. I have no idea what is
happening at the wedding or what has been chosen for anything. I found out
that there is another celebration that is happening at the MOB's house
after the reception. She invited us during our conversation, 4 days before
the wedding. An (oh by the way) invite. I also found out in that
conversation that she is wearing a ball gown to the wedding. It's a noon
time wedding! I had already bought a tasteful knee length skirt suit. So I
went out and bought a new, beautiful gown 3 days before the wedding and
returned the suit.
When I ask the bride or my son about the wedding, they don't want to
talk about it at all. They are not happy about how the MOB has taken over
everything and they haven't been able to do what they want. They argue
with the MOB about the wedding all the time and the kids just want to
forget about it when they are away from her. I've tried to go with the
flow on every thing but I feel a little scared about what the wedding will
turn out like not knowing what's happening.
I feel that although I'm just the MOG some common courtesy
been exorcised here. I'm hurt at the treatment that has been extended to
us but have kept my mouth shut in order to keep the peace for my son and
his bride's sake. I am afraid that we will be made to feel like second
class citizens at my own son's wedding. I truly wish the kids had just
done what they intended to do. At least then, in a year from now, we would
have been able to help pay for the celebration and then it would be an
even footing and we could have had more family from our side and not made
to feel this way. I am praying for wisdom and a guard on my mouth during
the wedding and reception. For those reading that are the MOB or the Groom
or Bride, I hope you keep my story in mind while planning your wedding.
Maybe you can avoid putting a wedge in the soon to be in-laws relationship
with the new family by showing some decency to the Groom's family. If you
are the MOB and are acting like this one, I hope you choke on the wedding
I've been hooked on this site since I first stumble upon it and had to
share an interesting story from a wedding I was recently a bridesmaid in.
The bride and I have been friends for years and I flew down to attend the
wedding. I hadn't seen her father in years and looked forward to seeing
Everything was going fine (except for the BM not showing up for the
rehearsal or dinner, big fat loser he was) until the actual wedding day.
The wedding was taking place at a country club where the groom worked. The
bride and the bridesmaids were taking a limo to the club while the FOB was
driving to the club in his own car, since he was bringing the couple's dog
who would be taking pictures with them, and then he would be taking the
dog back home. The FOB is nervous and keeps telling the bridesmaids how
beautiful we look and chatting with everyone while he's supposed to be
getting ready. The bride has asked her father several times if he knows
how to get to the club. He assures her that he does and shoos us away. The
MOB and her stepfather are following the limo as they are from out of
town, just like the FOB.
On the way to the club, the bride gets a call on her cell phone from
her dad. And he starting SCREAMING at her, saying that we left him and he
didn't know how to get to the club! This is after the
bride asked him SEVERAL times if he knew where he was going! The FOB is a
major drama queen (as I'm sure you've figured out by now) and is ranting
and raving at THE BRIDE on her wedding day! Being the level headed girl she
is, she gives the phone to one of the other bridesmaids and we're trying
to get her to calm down and not be upset, although we can't believe he's
acting this way. Later on, the bridesmaid who was on the phone with the
FOB tells us that the FOB thought he was still talking to his daughter and
it's a good thing he wasn't because he was RANTING AND RAVING at THE
BRIDE for leaving him! Then he proceeds to say he's not coming to the
wedding! His only child is getting married and he's saying he's going back
to his home state and not walking her down the aisle! He then hangs up and
we can't get a good signal so we don't know what he's doing.
We finally get to club. We tell the bride to go upstairs and get ready.
The MOH is trying to get to the FOB on the phone and has to spend almost
45 min COAXING him to show up. It was ridiculous! I had never heard of
such a thing! Finally, she gets him to calm down by basically lying
through her teeth and making it seem that the limo driver assumed that the
FOB was right behind us when we first left and there must have been some
misunderstanding! That seems to make him feel better so he gets in his car
and manages to find the club with about 15 minutes to spare before the
ceremony. The MOH, another bridesmaid and myself greet him at his car,
basically to make sure he doesn't pull another tantrum. He apologizes,
tells us again how beautiful we look, and tells us his nerves got the best
of him. He's so lucky the MOH is so level headed because I would have tore
him a new one!
The FOB greets the bride (after we had stalled for almost an hour,
telling her he was on his way when we weren't' sure where he was at all)
and although she's pissed, she puts it past her (The FOB is notorious for
this type of behavior, so I don't think the bride was all that surprised).
The MOB was pissed off though, I'm sure the bride's stepfather would have
gladly stepped in if needed. The ceremony went off without a hitch and
although he rambled a bit during his speech to the new couple (and spoke
twice), the FOB was on his best behavior during the rest of the wedding
and reception. Great guy, loves his daughter to death, but what a DRAMA
I just love your sight and have gotten absolutely nothing done
since I found it. I just had to submit the story of my younger
brother's wedding and the horrible way our mother acted. First
some background information.
Our parents divorced when my younger brother and myself were still
teenagers, and it was quite a messy hostile affair. My brother and I
both chose to live with our father, because our mother was quite hateful
and manipulative. A few years pass, and I get married for the
first time. My mother decided she has to have everyone she has ever
met attend my wedding, and when we try to get her to narrow down her guest
list, she claims that since my father's side of the family is so large,
she's allowed more friends. She then goes on to explain that she had
given a great many of these friends present for their children's
graduations and weddings, and they needed to "pay her back."
So she basically used my wedding as a "payback" event for her
After all this goes on, I get divorced a few years later. Since
our family is Catholic, this does not sit well with my mother, never mind
the fact that she herself is now divorced. Her antics and lack of
etiquette at my first wedding were a good preview of what my younger
brother would have to deal with when his own wedding rolled around.
A few more years go by, and my younger brother meets and falls in love
with a wonderful, beautiful young lady. She certainly was everything
I hoped my younger brother would find in the person he chose to spend his
life with. He proposes, and we enter our own special circle of
hell. Since the bride's parents have offered to foot the cost
of the entire event, so long as my parents provide the rehearsal dinner
costs, planning takes on a huge form. The bride, in order to begin a
strong relationship with her soon to be husbands only sibling, asks me to
be one of her bridesmaids. I am very touched at this. By this
point, I am very seriously involved with a young man who I end up becoming
engaged to about six months before my brother's wedding. My younger
brother asks my intended to be one of his groomsmen, and we are both
thrilled to take part in their special day, and ask them to participate in
our wedding in the same fashion.
Guest lists are drawn up. The brides parents, while realizing and
being okay with the fact that my father is one of 16 children, and that
there is no way to avoid a huge wedding, do ask that the friend lists be
kept to a minimum. They would much rather have family only at the
wedding before inviting friends. My father is totally understanding
of this (after all, he did pay for my first wedding and knows how expensive
it can be!), and offers to just keep his list to his side of the family.
Our mother, on the other hand, is adamant that she should be allowed to
invite as many people as my father, despite the fact that for her to have
that many guests would make the percentage of her friends at the wedding
75%. We all try to reason with her. We try telling her that
the bride's parents are paying for the wedding, and while some friends are
okay to invite, not everyone she has ever known. We try explaining
to her that she is not contributing anything to the wedding.
My brother and his wife to be finally get frustrated, and decide that
the easiest way to nip this in the bud is to just give my mother a certain
amount of wedding invitations and tell her that's it. My
brother and his wife very kindly invite my fiancée's parents to the
wedding. I thought this was a very kind gesture on their parts, and
when I told them it wasn't exactly necessary, they point out that its a
good time for my soon to be in laws to meet our family. My IL's are
very touched by the gesture, and I have to endure several phone calls of
"What should I get them for a gift" before the wedding
Our mother, unknown to us, decides to get the upper hand by
XEROXING WEDDING INVITATIONS! I find out when the bride shows up at my and my
fiancée's apartment one evening, sobbing hysterically. I finally get
her to calm down and tell me what happened. I am livid. I ask
her how many invitations have been Xeroxed and sent out, and she says she
has no idea. I ask her how much a plate is at the wedding reception,
and she calls her parents and asks. I then call my mother and tell
her under so uncertain terms that what she did was very wrong, and now she
has possibly ruined the wedding for my brother and his future wife.
I explain to her that there are only a certain amount of people allowed in
the room that the reception is being held in, and that because of what she
did, the reception may be called off due to fire codes. I then tell
her that if anyone she has invited without the bride's mother and father's
agreeing to, she will pay the amount of the dinner for each and every
person. She tries to worm her way out of it by saying she just wants
to have people there to talk to. I tell her that my brother's
wedding is not about her or what she wants, but about my brother and his
wife to be's wedding and their life together. I tell her that if she
pulls anything like this again, or if the reception is ruined because of
her actions, she can count on me saying I no longer have a mother.
The month left until the wedding is a tense one, understandably.
The whole month, I hear from my mother again and again about how unfair it
is that she can't invite as many people as she wants, and how my brother
shouldn't even be marrying "that girl" because she's not Catholic.
Which generally turns into an argument between the two of us because my fiancé
is not catholic.
The day of the wedding arrives. I show up at the
wedding/reception site early in order to have my hair and make up done by
the beautician the bride's mother has thoughtfully hired for the day.
I apologize to the bride's mother for my own mother's actions, and she
tells me that they have security ready to go in case they need to remove
any Xerox invited guests. The wedding goes off without a
hitch, aside from starting a few minutes late. It is absolutely
beautiful, and there is a bagpipe playing during the processional. I
held my breath when the minister asked for any objections, and wondered
why my brother and his now wife did not take that out of the wedding
Fortunately, none of the Xerox invited guests show. The reception
is lovely, and the brides parents once again were thoughtful enough to
make sure the waitstaff knew to let the bridal party go through the buffet
first. After dinner, and before the toasts, my fiancé and I
take his parents around the room, introducing them to members of my
family. My mother, upon meeting my soon to be in-laws decides its the
perfect time to talk about my first wedding years ago! I was
incredibly angry. My In-laws are well aware that I had been married
before, and know why I left, but I still did not believe that my brother's
wedding was the time to talk about my first wedding. Especially not
to the parents of my fiancé! Angry is an understatement of how I
feel at this point. But, I let it go until later, because I do not
want to do anything to ruin my brother's big day.
My mother then decided to introduce my fiancé and myself to a few
of her friends that were invited to the wedding. Instead of saying
daughter, my mother proceeds to introduce me using the words "My
adopted daughter". My brother and I were both adopted at birth,
and while we have no shame in this, and we're actually proud of it, our
father at least does not parade the fact around when he first introduces
us to someone. I was very hurt by her wording, and was grateful when
the DJ announces its time to give a toast. My brother and his
wife had asked me before had to toast them at their wedding. I had
happily agreed. I give my toast, telling the story about how disappointed
I was I got a younger brother all those years ago, when I
really wanted a sister, but he turned out okay, and I love him very much,
which makes the room roar with laughter. I then say that because I
got a brother all those years ago, I now I have a sister, and welcome the
bride into our family. She's moved to tears, as are her parents and
a great number of the guests. Imagine my shock and hurt when my
future In laws told me that during my toast, my mother was too busy
shoveling food into her mouth to even listen. Fortunately,
nothing horrible happened on my brother's wedding day, and he and his wife
are still very happy and even more in love. After everything that
happened with our mother, my fiancé and I decided to just run off to Las
Vegas for our own wedding nine months later. I think you can imagine
my relief that my mother pleaded poverty and did not fly out!
My husband and I got married in our backyard in September of
2000. The night before our wedding, one of my husband's sisters
said, "If you need any help with preparations tomorrow give me a call
and I'll be over." I told her thanks and I'd let her know.
When I called her to ask if she could come over and help my cousin
decorate she says, "I can't. I'm doing my hair." and then
abruptly ends the conversation. No biggie, we have not ever
been close in the first place; she doesn't want anyone to be closer
to her brother than she is and always wants to be the center of
Even though the wedding was in our backyard, almost everyone was
dressed nicely (women in dresses and men in suits or nice slacks and
shirts) except my husband's 2 sisters and one brother-in-law. The
one sister looked like she hadn't done her hair in days, so the hair
excuse was just a lie...and a really bad one at that. They looked
like they were going to a cookout. During the entire wedding, the
one sister that had offered to help looked like she had sucked on a lemon.
During the reception, the pastor of our church blessed our house.
Soon after, my husband's family started leaving. I asked him where
they were going and he said over to his sister's house so our pastor could
bless her house also. She had his ENTIRE family going over to her
house on OUR WEDDING DAY. It's not like she couldn't have done this
on another day. I was livid. Like I said, she always has to be
the center of attention and just had to try to ruin our day.
When my sister got married nearly 20 years ago she picked for her
colors a pale shade of lavender and white. I was her maid of honor,
there were two other bridesmaids. Her future sister in law (her
husband’s brother’s wife) is a showy witch. She has always acted
as though she and my sis were in some kind of competition for the best of
everything. The day of the wedding the wench shows up in a RED SILK
dress. And there is she, in all the family photos – against light
shades of lavender is the ho in red.
In 2001, our wedding was a 20-person family-only weekend
event at a small resort on a Caribbean island. Prior to the wedding, I
told my (then 37-yr old) brother how eager I was for him to meet my
groom's family, and I was eager to meet his new fiancée for the first
time as well. I said how important it was to me that he really make
an effort to be part of the group, which was the whole point of how
we planned the family-party/wedding weekend.
When the event came, their behavior was atrocious and I could not have
been more disappointed. They were sullen, ignored everyone, tried to
invite family members to party separately in their room rather than
joining what the group was doing, and my brother got smashed and picked a
fight with me on my wedding night. But his fiancée's behavior
took the cake -- She showed up on the beach topless and wearing
a barely-there thong bottom. Who does this?? I can't even imagine the
thought process. "Let's see, wedding, people I've never met
before... what to wear, what to wear... I know! I'll wear my thong!!"
Yeah, that's appropriate.
When I heard whispers and giggles about her lack of attire, I was
dumbfounded. They were seated a ways down the beach (apart from our group
of course) so I walked over to check things out, say hello and invite
them to join everyone else. When I walked up to them, there she was - face
up, boobs in the air, and made no effort to cover up during conversation -
not even when my dad came over!! He was SO embarrassed... When
I suggested that they be social and join the group, my brother said that
they were on the beach first, so why didn't everyone else move to join
THEM? How juvenile, and like we really wanted/needed to see this woman's
breasts? Yuck! He complained that we were all located front and
center on the beach like (nose in the air) "a bunch of tourists"
-- well Hellooo, that's what we WERE after all... but even though I
explained that we were close to the bar AND that our 80-yr old
grandparents needed to sit in the shade and this way they could still see
everyone and feel included, it made no difference to them. But given that
everyone would have been uncomfortable talking to this strange nearly-naked
woman, I vowed not to let them ruin my wedding party any further and I let
I later found out that they said they were reserving their money for
their own wedding, but my parents thought I would be disappointed to
not have my brother be there, so my dad paid for their entire
trip plus an extra week on the island, during which they could have
had plenty of alone-time after everyone left. So basically, my
brother didn't care about my wedding or meeting any of my new family, he
and his fiancée just wanted a free private vacation out of it (my parents
were very hurt by this as well, of course). Oh, and they didn't get
us a gift, either.
A few months later, it cost us $1,000+ to travel and stay there for the
weekend. (My parents offered to pay but we knew they were strapped so
we insisted on paying our own way.) Despite their behavior at
our wedding, I decided to do the classy thing, and I bought a $300
crystal vase from Tiffany's for their new apt. but made sure that if
they didn't like it, it could be exchanged for something else (or even
cash back.) I e-mailed my brother, and asked for an address to send
the gift we'd gotten them. He actually had the nerve to tell me that
he didn't know (or care!) what the gift was, but he didn't want it. He
said I should take it back and send them the cash instead, which
by the way had better be enough to cover the cost of our meals at the
wedding! I told him he was the rudest person alive, and he told me *I* was
the rude one for buying him a gift when he only wanted cash. So I
told him that I would indeed be returning the gift, and he would get
nothing instead. Our attending their wedding at all would be more
gift than he deserved.
WE at least behaved respectably at the event -- which coincidentally
took place 3 days before September 11th at Chelsea Piers, which
was used later that week as a temporary morgue. They are still
married, but their behavior has gotten worse, I'm afraid. My brother, who
is now 40, has since blackmailed my parents for money demanding that they
mortgage property to give him his inheritance early, and threatened
to throw himself off a bridge from financial stress and it would be their
fault. Meanwhile, his wife wears Gucci and Prada and they dine at swank
eateries like LeCirque, but he claims that my parents should be ashamed at
not helping them when they are "suffering."
While my parents were back east recently, Bro asked my parents to
meet them in the city for dinner, and said that SIL's parents would
be joining them as well. SIL made reservations at one of the most
expensive restaurants in Manhattan. My parents drove 2 hours in the
pouring rain to get there, when they arrived (on time), Bro and SIL and
her parents had already been at the bar for a while. They got seated,
had their meal and when the bill came, my brother took it, looked at it,
showed it to his wife, and then handed it to my dad. My dad noticed that
the pre-dinner bar tab had been tacked on to the dinner (nice). My dad
asked SIL's father "should we split this?" and there
was some weird interchange where SIL's father gestured to Bro like it was
his call, and Bro said "Dad, just put it on your card, I'll give you
some money later." So my dad was embarrassed because obviously
there was some expectation about who should pay that he wasn't told about.
But the dinner bill was $930!!! And then before they had even finished
their coffee, SIL announced "We have to go! We have other plans uptown."
and my parents were rushed out of the restaurant and left standing on the
street in the rain, in total shock. So my dad got stuck with this bill and
then totally blown off, and then had to drive another 2 hours back to
where they were staying. And of course, Bro never offered any money for
My husband (J) and I met in November of 99 and were engaged by
Christmas of that year. I was only 19 at the time, and he was 29, so
we were planning a wedding for Thanksgiving of 2000, as I would be 20 and
my friends who were in college would be in town. My parents loved J
from the beginning, and made him feel very welcome in our family.
His parents were always exceedingly kind and gracious to me from the very
beginning, with only a few comments on the disparity in our ages.
That was understandable to both of us, and it didn't really bother us.
In the beginning of March of 2000, we found out that I was pregnant,
due in September. We were overjoyed, as we had planned on starting a
family immediately, and moved the wedding up to May of 2000. The
wedding planning went well, with my FMIL being slightly controlling, but
not too bad. My wedding was simple and lovely, and I have mostly
wonderful memories of it. However, a few things happened that were
As I was getting dressed at the church in the special bridal room, my
FMIL (M) and my FSIL (T) rush in dressed in jeans. They immediately
start to get dressed in their nice clothing. My mother and MOH were
appalled, and I was extremely upset, as I was really looking forward to
having the last few moments be just my mother and my MOH (my only
attendant, my best friend of over 14 years at the time). My MOH
tried to ask them to at least get dressed in the bathroom, as the
photographer was trying to capture shots of my mom, MOH and I pinning
corsages, adjusting my veil, things like that. She refused. Oh
well, I can handle this. Then, my FMIL leans over and hands me her
make-up case, saying that she'd always loved the way I applied my make-up
and could I please do hers and T's? My mom swiftly stepped in and
drew her aside. She explained that as I was the bride, that wasn't
really appropriate, but she would ask my cousin, who is a make-up artist,
to do it. That was fine, and my cousin gracefully stepped in.
The wedding was beautiful, my mother and M looked gorgeous.
Then comes the reception. After my MOH makes a tear-jerking
speech that everyone was incredibly moved by, M stands up and takes the
microphone. She then instructs everyone at the reception to be sure
NOT to take pictures of me in profile, as she didn't want to see my baby
belly showing in my wedding shots. Problem is, not everyone knew I
was pregnant, especially not the people from work. I was shocked - I
wasn't ashamed of my pregnancy, but I didn't think my wedding day was the
day to flaunt it, especially as I was so early in my pregnancy and had
already had some problems. She then continued on saying that while
she was happy for us, she had always hoped that J and his first wife would
reconcile, so she'd invited his first wife to our reception. My dad
managed to get the microphone away from her, lead her and J's first wife
out and explain that this was not the time and place. After J's
first wife left, the rest of the reception was wonderful, although somehow
M is in EVERY single photograph.
My cousin who comes from a nice family married a formerly well to do
bride from west Texas. Her family was quite the snob. They had
lost a large amount of money in the S/L Texas scandals but never lost
their attitude. My family had worked it's way up the ladder of
success and was living quite comfortably. The mother of the bride
apparently was an avid shutterbug. She was told by the bride's
family that she was to leave her camera at home and not to take any
pictures at the wedding. There was a professional photographer on
the site and he took all of the main pictures. My family had asked
me to take some candid pictures as I have worked for Eastman Kodak and had
the pro equipment.
During the rehearsal I took several rolls of pictures. It was
here that I first met the other side of the family. The mother of
the bride came up and explained how she had all of her equipment
confiscated and she angry that she was not allowed by the family to take
any pictures. She coyly asked me if I would send her copies of the
ones I took. I gladly took her name & address and told her they
would be sent at no cost. She laughed quite strangely to herself as
she left and I had an uneasy feeling about it. During the rehearsal
dinner which my mom, aunt and I worked all day fixing the mother of the
bride kept asking me to take pictures - I had no problem with that.
During the wedding I had about 3 rolls of film taken.
We all went back to my Uncle's house after the wedding. I
actually saw the mother of the bride go into my photography bag and take
out my camera and expose the film inside. She then dropped my
$300.00 camera on the floor with a thud. When I politely asked her
why she did this she denied everything. When I got home 2 rolls of
film were missing from my bag and the camera has had a light leak ever
since. If the bride herself had not been an angel godsend from
heaven I would have pressed charges. The mother of the bride was
extremely selfish and conceited. Thank goodness I live 1300 miles
I read of your web site in my local paper today. I was so excited to
finally have an opportunity to get my bridal story off my chest.
A friend of mine since childhood asked me to be in her wedding party. I
was thrilled to be asked, but was worried about how we would all swing the
details of the bridal party, considering her sister was the maid of honor
and lived on the other side of the country from where we all lived and
where the shower would be held. I was under the impression that it was up
to the maid of honor to get the bridal party together to figure out the
details of the shower, i.e., the cost, the place, the number of invites,
the food, etc. I did offer my services to my friend, who assured me that
her mother would step in to assist her sister in getting us all together
for the details.
Six months before the wedding her mother called and informed me that we
would hold the shower at a pricey restaurant the next town over, what the
cost would be per invitee as well as give me some of her ideas for the
bridal party gift. I hung up the phone with my jaw hanging open, not able
to get a word in edgewise. I was the only married person in the party
without a lot of expendable income, but even so, after talking to the
others in the party, we were all a little surprised that the bride's
mother would take it on herself to pick the place and book it without
thought to the monetary burden placed on the bridal party. She called
again to let me know that she would be purchasing a pricey luggage set for
all us “girls” to give as a bridal party gift for her daughter.
At that point I had to say something. I told her that I didn’t know
if I could afford the place she chose as well as my part of the cost for
the gift. She then asked me what I thought I could spend, I told her and
she said fine, she would accept that amount. I then said I would like to
have a part in something to do with the planning of the shower,
considering I was paying for it, and she allowed me to come to her house,
pick up the luggage set, and wrap it and bring it to the shower.
Little background - my SIL has always hated every woman in my brother's
family, including my mother and me (his only sister). Basically, she
looks at all other women as "threats" to her, regardless of what
their relationship is with her husband. It's insane. What
my brother sees in this woman, I will never know - overbearing,
loud-mouth, rude, and constantly bad-mouthing everyone.
Anyway, when it came time for their wedding, Cruella and my bro lived
in our home state still, while my mother and I had relocated to different
states - mom being a 7 hour drive and me being a 5 hour plane ride away
from our home state. My children (ages 5 and 7 at the time) were on
an extended visit with their father, since he lived in another country,
and they were about a 20-hour plane trip away.
At any rate, we had all made arrangements to come back to our home town
for the wedding, and it was quite an exhausting ordeal - I paid $500 to
fly in to my mom's state (4 hour flight), and mom and I pitched
in and paid $3,000 for my kids to be able to attend, and the next
morning when my poor babies got to my mom's after their looong trip, we
all piled in the car and drove the 7 hours to our home state.
We were going as fast as we could, as the bachelorette party was that
night, and we wanted to be on time. My aunt calls on her cell
and asks if we could swing by and pick her up when we got into town - her
car wasn't running right. So, once we get to town, we have to go 45
minutes out of the way to get my aunt. Needless to say, we were
about 1 hour late to the party.
We get to the party - tired, travel-weary, but glad we finally made it
after such a long haul. So, what does my FSIL say to us after we
worked like hell to get there? Nothing. She refused to
speak to us. She was so indignant - how dare we be late to HER
party? How could we be so RUDE? Never mind the fact that
everybody else at the party lived less than 15 minutes away, never
mind the fact that we spent countless travel hours and thousands of
dollars to get everyone there, never mind the fact that we were her
future in-laws and would have to be family with her for life, she was
downright evil to us.
My mother was heartbroken, I was fuming, and Cruella seemed quite
pleased with the fact that she was being so hateful to us. We
went to a little pub where there was dancing and karaoke, and Cruella
wouldn't even look at us, even when mom and I tried to be nice and sing a
song for her and my brother. Finally, I had had enough, and pulled
my mom out of there, we went to have a drink and mom was crying and
just kept saying, "I can't believe my only son is marrying something
like that." The wedding went off fine, but never again
will I ever put myself out for that ungrateful, cold-hearted b****.
My niece asked me to officiate her wedding ceremony which I agreed to.
During the months of planning I heard comments through the grapevine about
the rotten things the MOB (my sister in law) and the MOG were planning to
do during picture taking.
The MOG and FOG had been divorced for several years and the FOG and his
new wife was coming all the way from Peru to the United States for
the wedding. MOG made it clear that she was paying for pictures so she
insisted she was going to have certain pictures taken no matter what. In
Peru there is a custom that men do not take pictures of any kind with
their ex wives unless their present wife is also in the picture. MOB and
MOG knew this custom but refused to honor it.
When the time came for the picture of the bride, groom and his parents,
it hit the fan when FOG took his present wife by the hand and started
walking up for the picture. MOB started screaming at the FOG that his wife
was not allowed into the picture so FOG stepped back and refused to take
the picture without his wife. MOB got snotty and started cussing and
telling him that she was paying for the pictures and that he would be in
it without his wife. He refused and walked away. During the screaming my
niece walked over to her father and myself and loudly asked her father to
tell her mother to shut up which MOB over heard and things went down hill
The reception was 2 1/2 hours later. I went to the reception hall/bar
to see if I could help and MOB was already half drunk and was drinking
beers and shots. MOB has always enjoyed being the center of attention and
couldn't stand her daughter raining on her parade so I guess she figured
she needed to do something for the attention to be turned on her! The FOB
had to hold her up for the first dance and 10 minutes later she was in the
bathroom puking her guts out and 6 people had to drag her out of the
reception and poured her into the car. She made the biggest fool out of
herself that a MOB could. She missed the entire reception and flat refuses
to this day to let the B&G have one single picture. The poor FOB
actually hid in a corner until I went and grabbed him for a dance. I have
to say we all had the greatest time but not until after the drunk MOB
A few months ago, I married a wonderful, loving husband. My MIL was a
divorced retiree. The first time that I visited her, she said "You
look pretty, but you're not too bright, are you? Why do you have to choose
the blonde ones?" I was appalled, but forgave her.
Fast forward 2 years. At our wedding, my MIL arrived in a sweatsuit. I
was horrified! It was a formal wedding, which was stated on the
invitation! My husband confronted her about it, and she drunkenly left one
hour early, complaining about "How rude some people are"! Her
wedding gift was a thoughtful used three dollar gift card to Borders. A
few weeks later, we received a "personalized" e-mail from her.
It read thus:
Dear Wunderful Freinds: My freind of a loong time Valeri is having a
wedinng in October. I registred herr at Creat an Barrel, Target, and J.c.
Penny's. Please chooos soome of the more expensve gifts as it wuld look
more htoughtfull and not cheep. Thank youos much. -Louise
Not only had we never met her "freind" or been formally
invited to a shower/wedding, but she asked for more expensive gifts, so as
not to look cheap! I found it quite hard to believe that though she could
register her friend's gifts at three stores, she couldn't wear more than a
sweat suit for her only child's formal wedding!
My husband and I have been married for almost 25 years, but our
honeymoon - which my dad offered to plan AND PAY FOR -
still rates as a good cautionary tale.
Hubby and I met, dated, fell in love and became engaged in
Virginia, where we were both stationed in the Navy. We planned to be
married in my hometown in Washington state. Since we were so far
away, my mom, grandmother and dad made most of the arrangements, with lots
of phone calling back and forth. We were on a very, very limited
budget, and since he was Southern Baptist and I was Jewish, I wouldn't be
married in a church and he couldn't be married at our synagogue.
So, we had a small wedding at the waterfront home of my parents' friends,
conducted by a friend of my dad's who was also a Justice of the Peace,
with family and close friends in attendance. It was just beautiful.
The reception was much bigger, with my dad's business associates, my mom's
sisterhood cohorts...but, again, it was lovely (despite the DJ with
the disco music machine...well, o.k., it WAS 1980!!!).
After the reception, a small group of us went back to my mom's.
My dad presented my new husband with the keys to a car he had rented for
us (from Rent-a-Wreck, which should have set off major alarm bells), and
our honeymoon itinerary. Night #1: a Motel Six in the small
town where the next morning we would catch a ferry to a hotel on an island
in the San Juans, where we would spend night #2. After night #2, we
would catch another ferry to Victoria, BC for night #3. After night
#3 we would drive down the length of Vancouver Island to spend night #4 in
Vancouver BC, and then come back down to my mom's. Holy cow!!
Well, we weren't bothered by spending the first night of our honeymoon
at a Motel Six...a bed's a bed! But when we arrived at the ferry
terminal the next morning, we were informed that this particular ferry
required advance reservations. Which my dad had not taken care of.
Several panicked phone calls later, we got reservations on a late
afternoon ferry. We got to the island for night #2, and Rent-a-Wreck
broke down driving off the ferry. We had to pay to get towed to the
hotel. We went to check in and...oops, dad had held the hotel room
for us with his credit card, but neglected to PAY for the room. What
could we do but pay for it ourselves. We also arranged for
reservations on the next day's ferry.
The next morning we had the car towed to a garage where a simple, yet
expensive, repair was made, and then we made a mad dash to catch the
ferry to Victoria, BC for night #3. We arrived at the
hotel, checked in and found that dad had held the room for us with his
credit card, but...guess what! Not paid for the room...again.
We paid for another night. The next day, we drove to Vancouver,
BC, checked in for night #4, and...yes, you guessed it, had to pay for the
room ourselves. I did mention our limited budget, didn't I?
Oh, and we didn't find out until we got back across the border that we
weren't supposed to drive Rent-a-Wreck out of the US! Anyway, by the
time we got back to my moms', we were broke, exhausted and stressed out to
the max. And we still had to fly to California where I would
meet my husband's family for the first time ever, before we
returned to Virginia where my new husband would have to leave a few short
months later for a seven-month deployment.
I never could bring myself to thank dad for everything he did for us! A
few years later my dad, who had been divorced from mom for a number of
years, remarried. That was a festival of tackiness to be related
another time, but just to give you a hint...there were three separate
wedding venues in one day topped off by a huge reception, and all of which
was planned by (horror movie music) my dad!
I absolutely love this site, and it has helped me so much in the
preparation process for my own wedding. I am not certain where this story
fits in with the types of wedding faux pas, but if there is a category for
"my family is making the planning of my wedding hell on earth"
this one falls within it.
When I was seven my older sister, "Suzanne" got married.
Since Suzanne is eleven years older than me I felt honored to be her
flower girl. The marriage didn't last, but a few years later Suzanne
remarried. I was asked to be her Maid of Honor although I was only 12 at
Fast forward several years and another wedding. This wedding was the
second wedding for my oldest brother "William". Now William is
sixteen years older than me so we have never been particularly close. I'm
actually closer in age to his children than I am to him. Despite this I
was a little shocked to not have been included in the wedding party. I
wasn't necessarily expecting it since I wasn't in his first one cause his
first wife didn't like me, but when Suzanne was asked to be the Matron of
Honor and my other brother "James" was to serve as Best Man I
felt uncomfortable because at the wedding everyone on my SIL's side and
her and William's mutual friends didn't seem to have the slightest idea
that William had any other siblings other than the two in the wedding. I
wasn't even invited to the bridal shower or bachelorette party because
William and his bride-to-be felt I was too young... I WAS 18!!! When I
finally asked why I wasn't allowed to participate in any of the
pre-wedding celebrations because of my age but had been asked to be maid
of honor for Suzanne's wedding, I was informed that I was asked to do
those things because I was cute enough to be a flower girl and available
to be a maid of honor. (needless to say I cried a few tears over that)
Fast forward a couple years...I'm engaged. I call up my siblings to
tell them about the engagement and before I even get a few words out of my
mouth during each conversation my siblings each respond with "Don't
ask because I won't be in your wedding."
First off...as far as my brothers are concerned my fiancé
told me he would prefer his brother and best friends be his groomsmen, but
we both agreed to ask my brothers to be ushers and my brother-in-law (Suzanne's
husband) to be a groomsman since he introduced "Christopher" and
Secondly, my sister was my closest female friend and one would think it
would have been an honor to be my matron of honor (considering I had been
in both her weddings). With all three of my siblings essentially out of
the wedding I was left with finding other attendants. I asked a co-worker
to be a bridesmaid, my niece to be a junior bridesmaid, two other nieces
to be flower girls, and my SIL, who I grew closer to following her
marriage to my brother, to be my matron of honor. Funny how my siblings
didn't want to be a part of my wedding but they don't mind their children
or spouses being a part of it.
A year after the engagement and I had forgotten about the whole
"we don't want to be in the wedding so don't ask" incidents
until family vacation time came around. While on vacation with my family
this summer my stepmother asked why I didn't ask any of my siblings to be
in the wedding. I looked stunned since most everyone knew that my brothers
and sister had told me they didn't want to be in the wedding. Suzanne sat
there and told my stepmother that she hadn't been asked because she was
too fat (I've never said anything about my sister's weight because I'm
don't exactly have a Halle Berry figure either).
You can imagine my surprise when following my return home from vacation
William and his wife asked why I never invited him to be a groomsmen but
had asked my brother-in-law. They had the nerve to state "You should
have asked blood to be in the wedding before you asked an in-law".
Um...hello who had their sister-in-law as matron of honor for their
wedding but not one of her own sisters....you guessed it...William's wife
hadn't invited her own sisters to be a part of her wedding but was upset
that I hadn't asked my brother to be in mine. I DID ASK!!! All of a sudden
my entire family is playing amnesia. No one except for my fiancé and his
family seem to recall the many conversations that have occurred in the
past year about who was in the wedding party.
My sister has since informed me and our family that if I get a
bridesmaid dress that is flattering to her figure that she will be my
matron of honor, which you can imagine didn't go over too well with my SIL
who is my matron of honor. The dresses have already been selected for the
bridesmaids, but Suzanne doesn't like any of them and my mother is
demanding that I change the dress I want so that Suzanne can be in the
wedding and just move my SIL to a bridesmaid position. All of a sudden the
planning of my wedding, which I've done by myself with only the input of
my fiancé, is being taken away by my mother who is again demanding that my
fiancé "upgrade" my brothers from ushers to groomsmen. My
brothers have never even agreed to be ushers so they can't exactly be
A word of advice to all the brides-to-be out there....make note, voice
record, whatever EVERY conversation you have concerning your wedding! At
first I was hurt at not having been asked to be a part of William's
wedding and to have just been cute enough to be in Suzanne's, but I at
least remember having been asked or not having been asked to be in their
weddings. My siblings and parents are suddenly playing dumb and wanting me
to make drastic changes to my wedding. So far they have gone so far to say
they won't even attend the wedding since they believe my wedding is
tearing the family apart and my fiancé is some how evil for wanting his
own brother to be the best man instead of my brothers. I'd elope but
somehow I know it would only cause more problems for me in the long run.
Thanks for letting me vent. Your site is a god-send.
Page Last Updated May 15, 2007