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Author Topic: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back  (Read 2942 times)

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guihong

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S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« on: January 16, 2018, 02:23:27 PM »
Hi, all:

Over a year ago, I posted about a "friend" who took an offside remark I made on FB about feeling homesick and went off on a rant about how I should stay here (in the South).  Back then, I just deleted the comment and moved on. 

The friend (named "Liz") is a former coworker of DH's, whom I haven't seen in years.  We once lived in the same town but now I rarely get there.  She does actually say nice things, as just the other day when I posted about DS playing Hamlet for his drama class.  But if you express the "wrong" opinion, off she goes!

Yesterday, I posted my thoughts on the thrilling (to me) Vikings-Saints football game.   It was meant to be light-hearted and even complimentary to the Saints ("Drew Brees punched his ticket to Canton").  Although I have family in MN, it really doesn't matter to me who won, just that it was a great game. 

A typical reply might be something like "It sure was a great finish!", but Liz came down on me like a brick (she is from Louisiana).  A rant about how rude Minnesota fans were when she was at a game once, how she hated the Vikings, and it wasn't the good play of the MN team, but a mistake by the Saints, etc.  :o :-[.  I deleted the comment and unless she speaks about that, intend to ignore. 

I've learned from this site that many times it's a good move to move on, especially when you know you won't change the other person's mind and it's a pointless argument.  That doesn't make you spineless, it makes you have more peace.

Incidentally, the same day I received a message from Liz about this year's "game" for breast cancer awareness.  This time it's describe your love life status with a fruit-banana for married, apple for single, grape for "it's complicated", things like that.  You put the fruit in your status and watch men try to figure it out (I doubt most notice).  I am so tempted to put "Durian" but I know that would be snarky  >:D.



MyFamily

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2018, 03:38:56 PM »
You handled Liz correctly but I just really wanted to thank you for the code for the fruit; I keep seeing it on my FB page and I know better to like or ask about it because then you get bugged to post your fruit, but I didn't know the code behind it.  And if Grape is for 'single' then a friend of mine is either totally playing with the code or gotten divorced in the last 2 weeks since I last saw her and her husband together.

"The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones" - Solomon ibn Gabirol

guihong

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2018, 04:23:50 PM »
Not sure of the exact code of fruit, but it's probably out there easy enough to find.  Now you know what all those cryptic fruits are about :).



Harriet Jones

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2018, 06:09:47 PM »
I don't even get how the weird FB statuses are supposed to promote awareness for *anything*.

If you don't want to unfriend her, you can mark her as an acquaintance so that she doesn't see so much of your stuff in her newsfeed.

Disney

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2018, 07:45:54 PM »
I would just unfriend her. It doesn't seem like she contributing anything to your life except an occasional compliment. For me it would be more effort than its worth to "police" my status for her.

GardenGal

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2018, 07:55:35 PM »
GardenWeed (my evil side) says that If you think she'd see "durian,"  I'd definitely post that!  Maybe that'll express how you feel about her. 
"No matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Banzai

bopper

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2018, 03:14:39 PM »
I agree...unfriend her on FB. She is not providing any value added.  Or "mute her for 30 days".

mime

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2018, 04:13:17 PM »
I think you did well to just move on. I've had similar friends, where heaven-forbid you actually enjoy, say, sci-fi movies, and you can't even mention Star Trek without them tearing into you on how sci-fi ruined their life and how it is damaging to society and Gene Roddenberry is evil incarnate... It is sad that otherwise decent people are on the edge of killing some relationships because they can't keep their hate or their over-the top love for one topic under control.



FTR: Us sports fans here in MN typically enjoy friendly interactions with visiting fans. At least that's how it was with Lacrosse (before Atlanta took my beloved Swarm away :( ).

I know there was a beef with the Saints after Bountygate, though, so maybe that created a bad experience for your friend, or just the fact that there are jerk-fans with every team. I can imagine the game was heartbreaking for Saints fans. Both teams played well, and every win depends on a bit of skill, a bit of fortune, and a bit of capitalizing on the other guy's mistake.... and now we're all out in the cold for the Superbowl. I don't even know who to cheer for.


MurPl1

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2018, 01:21:10 PM »
#NotPatriots ;)

Katana_Geldar

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2018, 03:39:53 PM »
I think people like that are just unpleasant no matter what they go on about.

FauxFoodist

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Re: S/O Friend who went off on me about Ohio-she's back
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2018, 04:25:18 PM »
Hi, all:

Over a year ago, I posted about a "friend" who took an offside remark I made on FB about feeling homesick and went off on a rant about how I should stay here (in the South).  Back then, I just deleted the comment and moved on. 

The friend (named "Liz") is a former coworker of DH's, whom I haven't seen in years.  We once lived in the same town but now I rarely get there.  She does actually say nice things, as just the other day when I posted about DS playing Hamlet for his drama class.  But if you express the "wrong" opinion, off she goes!

Yesterday, I posted my thoughts on the thrilling (to me) Vikings-Saints football game.   It was meant to be light-hearted and even complimentary to the Saints ("Drew Brees punched his ticket to Canton").  Although I have family in MN, it really doesn't matter to me who won, just that it was a great game. 

A typical reply might be something like "It sure was a great finish!", but Liz came down on me like a brick (she is from Louisiana).  A rant about how rude Minnesota fans were when she was at a game once, how she hated the Vikings, and it wasn't the good play of the MN team, but a mistake by the Saints, etc.  :o :-[.  I deleted the comment and unless she speaks about that, intend to ignore. 

I've learned from this site that many times it's a good move to move on, especially when you know you won't change the other person's mind and it's a pointless argument.  That doesn't make you spineless, it makes you have more peace.

Incidentally, the same day I received a message from Liz about this year's "game" for breast cancer awareness.  This time it's describe your love life status with a fruit-banana for married, apple for single, grape for "it's complicated", things like that.  You put the fruit in your status and watch men try to figure it out (I doubt most notice).  I am so tempted to put "Durian" but I know that would be snarky  >:D.

The comment about how it was a mistake by the Saints vs. a good play by the Vikings sounds like "Friend" was also trying to simultaneously elevate the Saints by being negative about the Vikings.  I've heard about how passionate people can be about their loyalty to their favorites (and not just in sports -- I have a friend who used to have strident one-sided arguments about how much better his favorite computer manufacturer is better than the other, even though the individuals he was talking to never said a word about either).


To be fair, sometimes people just have hot-button issues, and you never know what's going to set them off (although doing so in a public setting like FB is really not a good place).  I once met a friend of DH's who I really don't ever want to talk to again; she asked me what I was reading since I was carrying a book with me and when she learned it was about salts, fats, sugars, etc., she proceeded to go on a 5-10 minute rant about the evils of these things.  She was perfectly pleasant until that point (even DH thought the rant was way off and really, rather inappropriate and off-putting).


I think people like that are just unpleasant no matter what they go on about.

This reminds me of people who like to speak ill of one country by either outright saying how much they hate about the other country or playing up the virtues of their country while using those praises to further say bad things about the other country.  It makes you wonder how happy such people really are in their lives.