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  • February 20, 2018, 11:41:09 PM

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Author Topic: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.  (Read 1104 times)

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Olena

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Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« on: January 23, 2018, 12:43:07 PM »
Towards the end of year I received a Save the Date for the wedding of a relative of mine for this spring. Great! I havenít seen this side of the family for a very long time due to life (and all that life can entail) so I thought it be a wonderful idea to make a long weekend of it (this wedding was to be held in a coastal state on the water, not anywhere near where I currently live). My immediate family members had been talking about getting some rooms at a nearby resort, hanging on for a few days with family, hitting the beach, etc. I guess the wedding has been called off because yesterday I received in the mail what was essentially a ďDonít save the dateĒ note. It basically said that the happy couple had been too eager with their forthcoming wedding, hadnít taken the time to fully prepare for it (relocating, new jobs, etc.), and that the wedding has been called off until further notice. I donít believe it is a case of cold feet for either party Ė my mom and I had a good laugh about it though because neither of us had seen anything like this before. On the flip side I am glad to receive the letter so early because I hadnít made any travel arrangements yet. But, I was just curious if this is a standard way to call off a wedding?

rose red

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Re: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2018, 12:50:48 PM »
I don't know how else you can do it if a large number of notices was originally mailed out. A small number is one thing and they can telephone (if they have phone numbers), but not if they mailed out, say, 100. Word of mouth won't work either since there's a chance someone will get missed.

QueenfaninCA

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Re: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2018, 01:30:39 PM »
I agree that a letter was probably the best way to ensure that everyone that got a save the date got the message and didn't spend money on making travel arrangements.

I am a bit puzzled though, why

Quote
It basically said that the happy couple had been too eager with their forthcoming wedding, hadnít taken the time to fully prepare for it (relocating, new jobs, etc.), and that the wedding has been called off until further notice.

not yet having relocated or changed jobs is a reason not to go forward with a wedding.

HannahGrace

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Re: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2018, 01:45:03 PM »
I agree that a letter was probably the best way to ensure that everyone that got a save the date got the message and didn't spend money on making travel arrangements.

I am a bit puzzled though, why

Quote
It basically said that the happy couple had been too eager with their forthcoming wedding, hadnít taken the time to fully prepare for it (relocating, new jobs, etc.), and that the wedding has been called off until further notice.

not yet having relocated or changed jobs is a reason not to go forward with a wedding.

I took that to mean they HAD relocated and/or changed jobs and therefore didnít have the time or money to make the wedding they were planning to have happen on schedule.

VorFemme

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Re: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2018, 03:23:16 PM »
Or that the new jobs meant they had no vacation to take for the wedding and related activities or they were relocating far enough from the originally planned site that it was no longer feasible for the available travel time. 

Possibly they had delayed making reservations long enough that the venue was already booked...I remember a post on NotAlwaysRight.com where something similar happened (wedding related reservations were not completed and by the time someone found out - there were no available rooms of any kind at any price).

« Last Edit: January 23, 2018, 03:24:50 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

TootsNYC

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Re: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2018, 04:22:53 PM »
At least they un-saved the date!

I was just about to ask for vacation days and make a reservation so I could travel for a cousin's wedding, since I'd received a save-the-date, but I mentioned it to my mom because I wanted to know if I'd need a car, or if I could tag along with her. She said, "I think they've canceled that wedding."

And indeed, they had.


They did get married a couple of years later. I don't know quite why they canceled; it may have been a bit of cold feet (I thought my mom said something about the bride not being sure this was what she wanted, though they stayed in their relationship, based on what I saw on Facebook).

But it also may have been that they were still working out where they'd live; or, he was in the military, and that may have caused some anxiety or even just some logistical delays.

Who knows? It doesn't really matter.

People don't owe us their getting married.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2018, 04:46:18 PM »
Sounds like a very sensible couple.

Winterlight

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Re: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2018, 07:36:02 PM »
I think they did the right thing- they notified prospective guests as quickly as possible that the wedding wasn't happening. Not sure why that was funny to you.
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To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
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LifeOnPluto

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Re: Save the Date! Wait.... never mind.
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2018, 06:59:00 PM »
I agree that a letter was probably the best way to ensure that everyone that got a save the date got the message and didn't spend money on making travel arrangements.

I am a bit puzzled though, why

Quote
It basically said that the happy couple had been too eager with their forthcoming wedding, hadnít taken the time to fully prepare for it (relocating, new jobs, etc.), and that the wedding has been called off until further notice.

not yet having relocated or changed jobs is a reason not to go forward with a wedding.

I took that to mean they HAD relocated and/or changed jobs and therefore didnít have the time or money to make the wedding they were planning to have happen on schedule.

Yeah, I took it to mean that the HC's attention was occupied with changing jobs and relocating, and they hadn't had the time or energy to go any wedding planning.

As for the etiquette, I think the HC did the polite thing in the circumstances. It was the most surest way of ensuring everyone got the message, and didn't proceed with making travel plans, etc.