News:

  • February 18, 2018, 10:21:17 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason  (Read 3818 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

kudeebee

  • Member
  • Posts: 2729
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #30 on: February 08, 2018, 01:02:16 AM »
I agree with the others to keep it simple and drama free when you let director know that you won't be doing your volunteer job.  Nothing will be gained by mentioning what happened (director didn't stand up for you when drama was going on, so why would it suddenly matter to her?)

"Director, I want to let you know that unfortunately I am no longer able to lead  Activity for the Spring Event.  Gentleman who was helping me has agreed to take over, so any questions/concerns should be directed to him."

While you could volunteer at event for an hour or two, I think you should pass this year and stay clear of any possible confrontations/drama that could arise.  You said your dh is helping out so that fulfills your family commitment.  If anyone asks why you aren't volunteering, again keep it simple and drama free.  Sharing what went on will most likely backfire and come back on you, not the other person. 

Parent: why aren't you doing Activity this year?
You:  I'm just not able to do it this year so Gentleman has taken over.  isn't it cold outside?
If they ask again, "I just can't." Change subject.

Keep it drama free and you will come out looking the better person.

EMuir

  • Member
  • Posts: 1428
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #31 on: February 08, 2018, 12:38:33 PM »
I think you need to make it absolutely clear that you will not be providing the supplies as well. Many "users" would go "Oh well she won't be doing that role but of course she'll still buy the supplies."

I'd also CC someone else or somehow make sure she got the email. If she claims she didn't, print a copy and give it to her the next time you see her. "Head in the sand" is also a favorite user tactic. "Oh I didn't know you resigned so of course you will still help right?"

Good luck.

GardenGal

  • Member
  • Posts: 900
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #32 on: February 08, 2018, 05:37:24 PM »
I think you need to make it absolutely clear that you will not be providing the supplies as well. Many "users" would go "Oh well she won't be doing that role but of course she'll still buy the supplies."

I'd also CC someone else or somehow make sure she got the email. If she claims she didn't, print a copy and give it to her the next time you see her. "Head in the sand" is also a favorite user tactic. "Oh I didn't know you resigned so of course you will still help right?"

Good luck.

Both of these are great points!  CC the fellow who will be taking over when you send your email, so he knows that she knows you're out of the loop, and so she knows that he knows, too.
"No matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Banzai

kckgirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 2973
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #33 on: February 09, 2018, 06:42:50 AM »
Is it possible to leave the director out of it entirely and tell the school administration that you cannot help with the event this year.

"Dear Administrator:

I volunteered for "activity" at the spring event. My service in this capacity is no longer possible. Other guy is up to speed on what the plans were up to this point.

Sincerely,
Goog

cc:
Other guy"

Then all inquiries from Director or Administrator go to the proverbial black hole.
Maryland

Aleko

  • Member
  • Posts: 63
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #34 on: February 09, 2018, 11:36:46 AM »
Goog, I've been there and I feel for you!

I'd like to back up everyone who has said that you need to withdraw from your commitment quickly, clearly and officially, without mentioning the issue with this other person; that you should resist being drawn into discussing the issue with the management or your co-volunteers; and that you should stay right away from the project this year.

One thing I don't think anybody has mentioned yet, is that even if you had had to give up your role for quite uncontroversial reasons you should still stay right away. Otherwise your successor will have you looking over their shoulder, and will feel difficulty in reversing any of your decisions or just doing things their own way; and other people will come to you out of habit rather than them. Even with all the goodwill in the world, things can get quite complicated and uncomfortable if an ex-leader hangs around; it's never a good idea. If anyone asks you to continue working in the activity, or wants to know why you won't, this is an irreproachable and perfectly true reason to give them.

gellchom

  • Member
  • Posts: 3762
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #35 on: February 09, 2018, 01:03:15 PM »
That's very good advice, Aleko.  Even when everyone gets along great, the "mother-in-law in the kitchen" effect happens, and it makes it difficult for everyone.

But the question was how to handle the resignation, and the answer to that is: totally professionally and maturely, with no troublemaking or drama or defensiveness, irrespective of anything that has happened between the OP and anyone else.  Just the same as if you were resigning for some other reason.

Even when everyone agrees who was right and who was wrong, they can still think that the one in the right is being silly or childish about it, resent the drama being stirred up, and just get sick of hearing about it.  I'm sorry that this happened to you, but you know that your smartest move is just to behave as your best self rather than get down in the dirt with the meanies.

Resign clearly and promptly, express regret for the inconvenience, wish the team a great season (or whatever), and let it go.

rose red

  • Member
  • Posts: 9813
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #36 on: February 09, 2018, 01:53:46 PM »
I also think you should bow out of volunteering completely this year so that they can't keep asking you to help with "one little thing." It'll also be good for them to start with a clean slate to succeed or fail or somewhere in between without input from the "old guard."

Of course my advice would be different if they didn't treat you like garbage, but then you wouldn't quit in the first place if they hadn't. >:(

TabathasGran

  • Member
  • Posts: 600
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #37 on: February 10, 2018, 11:54:48 AM »
I agree with resigning quickly, clearly and without providing any reason.  If you like you might say Im sorry but its no longer possible.  You may also tell the stupid director that new guy knows he can reach out to with questions.

I would let DHs volunteer work suffice for this year, and determine later involvement based on the climate as opportunities arise.

And its sad, because one or two jerks along with leaders who wont put a stop to nonsense can really spoil it for everyone and run off wonderful volunteers. I walked away from an organization after giving them my all for the same reason.  And I do regret it at times, but Im not sure what I could have done differently. Yes, people noticed my absence as they will notice yours.

Do take the high road, as there is great solace to be found maintaining polite behavior in the face of rudeness.

Roses

  • Member
  • Posts: 327
Re: Backing out of a volunteer committment, with good reason
« Reply #38 on: February 11, 2018, 01:27:53 PM »
Is it possible to leave the director out of it entirely and tell the school administration that you cannot help with the event this year.

"Dear Administrator:

I volunteered for "activity" at the spring event. My service in this capacity is no longer possible. Other guy is up to speed on what the plans were up to this point.

Sincerely,
Goog

cc:
Other guy"
cc:
Other guy"

Then all inquiries from Director or Administrator go to the proverbial black hole.

I'd leave out references to "other guy".  If he doesn't do the same things you did, they could blame you for that.  It also potentially puts him in a awkward position of having to more or differently than he planned.

"Dear Administrator:

I volunteered for "activity" at the spring event. My service in this capacity is no longer possible. Other guy is up to speed on what the plans were up to this point.

Sincerely,
Goog