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  • January 18, 2018, 09:37:08 PM

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Author Topic: Rude not to finish game?  (Read 2822 times)

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Surianne

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2018, 07:31:38 PM »
I think she should have resigned the game rather than leaving it open, but I don't think she was required to keep playing just so you could get a personal highest score. 

I agree with Two Ravens that I could see your begging her as a bit insulting/braggy.  Like, you're getting your highest score because she's playing terribly.  So neither player comes across as very good-sportsmanlike to me. 

Accusing you of cheating, if that's how she meant her comment about helper websites, is definitely the worse behaviour, but I'd say just move on if you otherwise enjoy playing with her.

She definitely accused me of using helper websites. She said, "My son said there are sites, are you using one?" I either replied with a question or a statement that that was accusing me of cheating and she replied with something along of the lines of "Well are you?" and I said I wasn't and said something about the letters just working with those spaces.


Wow.  That's gross.  The first question I'd see as curiosity -- like perhaps she wants to use one of the sites too and is checking to see if that's normal.  But the second question, after you've said you think of it as cheating?  No.  Just no.  And makes me much more likely to think she left the other game because she's childish and a poor sportsman.

blarg314

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2018, 09:08:03 PM »

It's definitely poor form to quit a game because the other person is doing well, particularly something like this, where the game is relatively short, and when she's actively playing other, similar games (where the only difference is that she's not losing). Sometimes in games like this, you lose because the other person does really well. And sometimes you win. Denying someone else the record of a particularly good game is petty.

I can understand conceding or bailing on a game that is of extended duration, or where you're going to spend hours being slowly ground down without any chance of winning (this is why I don't play Risk, by the way). So if someone bails halfway though a game of Diplomacy because you're bored silly, or saying three hours into a game of Monopoly with no end in sight that you want to call it quits I can understand it. But this wasn't the case here.

Personally, I'd be tempted to not start any new games with her until the old ones were cleared out - say that you don't like having unfinished games lingering.  If she refuses to finish the game because you'll beat her by such a large margin, but wants you to start new games, that tells you a lot about her character.

Cleargleam

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2018, 03:14:34 PM »
I disagree that it's petty or poor sportsmanship. 

I'm not at all skilled with the crossword tiles game, and I have other online interests.  I don't care to spend vast amounts of time looking for the best play or learning to block someone from getting 100 points because they have a letter I don't even know they have.  For me, it's really disheartening to have a total stranger ask me to play a crossword game and then thoroughly trounce me because their opponent (me) is so far below their skill level. 

I have real world friends I wouldn't consider playing against for that same reason.

When their score doubles mine and the board is generally unplayable for my hand, I resign. 

mime

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #18 on: January 04, 2018, 05:06:27 PM »
I disagree that it's petty or poor sportsmanship. 

I'm not at all skilled with the crossword tiles game, and I have other online interests.  I don't care to spend vast amounts of time looking for the best play or learning to block someone from getting 100 points because they have a letter I don't even know they have.  For me, it's really disheartening to have a total stranger ask me to play a crossword game and then thoroughly trounce me because their opponent (me) is so far below their skill level. 

I have real world friends I wouldn't consider playing against for that same reason.

When their score doubles mine and the board is generally unplayable for my hand, I resign. 

But don't you know when you accept a game that they're way above your level? It seems to me that's the time to resign: by not accepting the game, rather than starting to play with someone above your level and then leaving because they're winning.

But I do think that someone soliciting games from lower-level players as a way to boost their score is also very poor sportsmanship.

kglory

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #19 on: January 05, 2018, 09:32:01 AM »
I think accusing you of cheating is ruder than not finishing the game!

"Jerk" is hardly an obscure word.  And if you have a J, and there is a triple letter space, it's natural to look for a way to play it there.

(Granted, I've never played Words With Friends, but assuming it's similar to Scrabble.)

I can see getting frustrated if I were playing a game with someone and losing badly.  Personally, I'd still do the gracious thing and finish, but can see why someone might think "I give up!" and not realize that it affects your stats in the app.  But if a friend were beating me badly at a game, I would NEVER accuse them of cheating or using outside help, just because they had noticed something I hadn't!  That is what crosses the line to me.

Cleargleam

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #20 on: January 05, 2018, 09:50:38 AM »
I disagree that it's petty or poor sportsmanship. 

I'm not at all skilled with the crossword tiles game, and I have other online interests.  I don't care to spend vast amounts of time looking for the best play or learning to block someone from getting 100 points because they have a letter I don't even know they have.  For me, it's really disheartening to have a total stranger ask me to play a crossword game and then thoroughly trounce me because their opponent (me) is so far below their skill level. 

I have real world friends I wouldn't consider playing against for that same reason.

When their score doubles mine and the board is generally unplayable for my hand, I resign. 

But don't you know when you accept a game that they're way above your level? It seems to me that's the time to resign: by not accepting the game, rather than starting to play with someone above your level and then leaving because they're winning.

But I do think that someone soliciting games from lower-level players as a way to boost their score is also very poor sportsmanship.

No, I don't.  Sometimes the invitation is from a total stranger.  There may be something which indicates their average word score, but I'm a desultory enough player that I don't investigate too deeply.  Sometimes a total stranger will be a spot on opponent and I'll enjoy the game a lot.  Other times, I'll lose horrendously and the player will keep inviting me to new games, which makes me think they enjoy boosting their stats at my expense. 

Playing against people whom I know, I have occasionally been surprised by their skill and I've generally taken the trouncing, but there are several from whom I don't accept challenges because I now know they're that much better than I am.  And that particular game isn't a favorite of mine, so I can let it go for several days without opening the app.  But it's not *just* that I'm losing horribly - it's that I'm losing horribly, and have an unplayable board and a repeatedly unplayable hand.  When that happens, I resign. 

NFPwife

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #21 on: January 05, 2018, 10:29:26 AM »
I disagree that it's petty or poor sportsmanship. 

I'm not at all skilled with the crossword tiles game, and I have other online interests.  I don't care to spend vast amounts of time looking for the best play or learning to block someone from getting 100 points because they have a letter I don't even know they have.  For me, it's really disheartening to have a total stranger ask me to play a crossword game and then thoroughly trounce me because their opponent (me) is so far below their skill level. 

I have real world friends I wouldn't consider playing against for that same reason.

When their score doubles mine and the board is generally unplayable for my hand, I resign. 

But don't you know when you accept a game that they're way above your level? It seems to me that's the time to resign: by not accepting the game, rather than starting to play with someone above your level and then leaving because they're winning.

But I do think that someone soliciting games from lower-level players as a way to boost their score is also very poor sportsmanship.

No, I don't.  Sometimes the invitation is from a total stranger.  There may be something which indicates their average word score, but I'm a desultory enough player that I don't investigate too deeply.  Sometimes a total stranger will be a spot on opponent and I'll enjoy the game a lot.  Other times, I'll lose horrendously and the player will keep inviting me to new games, which makes me think they enjoy boosting their stats at my expense. 

Playing against people whom I know, I have occasionally been surprised by their skill and I've generally taken the trouncing, but there are several from whom I don't accept challenges because I now know they're that much better than I am.  And that particular game isn't a favorite of mine, so I can let it go for several days without opening the app.  But it's not *just* that I'm losing horribly - it's that I'm losing horribly, and have an unplayable board and a repeatedly unplayable hand.  When that happens, I resign.

FWIW, I didn't seek out this friend to play because I thought her play would be below mine. I also don't initiate play with anyone to boost my stats. Honestly, I prefer to "play up" or at least play on equal footing. I didn't expect this friend to use solid strategy, I'm just saying I could tell she didn't. There's no way I would have left those spaces open for someone else. It was a red carpet invitation to a word over 100 points.

Sharnita

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #22 on: January 11, 2018, 07:18:34 PM »
I think it helps to know what kind of opponent you are playing. I am not very competitive and don't really follow or even get the whole "stats" thing. I wouldn't quit out of pique but loss of interest or motivation?

I agree that the opponent is not obligated to keep playing to allow her opponent to get a high score. But if you have lost motivation because you've realized you have no way of winning then the least you can do is resign the game. I'm going to assume there was no lose of interest in playing since the opponent was still playing other games that she did have a chance of winning.

I am such a casual player that I wouldn't know how or even think about it.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Rude not to finish game?
« Reply #23 on: January 15, 2018, 03:08:09 PM »
I think it helps to know what kind of opponent you are playing. I am not very competitive and don't really follow or even get the whole "stats" thing. I wouldn't quit out of pique but loss of interest or motivation?

I agree that the opponent is not obligated to keep playing to allow her opponent to get a high score. But if you have lost motivation because you've realized you have no way of winning then the least you can do is resign the game. I'm going to assume there was no lose of interest in playing since the opponent was still playing other games that she did have a chance of winning.

I am such a casual player that I wouldn't know how or even think about it.

I could see how you wouldn't think of it. But based on the situation we are discussing, this player had 3 to 4 games going simultaneously with the OP and chose to continue the other games. So to me that does imply the OP knew the type of player she was competing against. Even once prompted, her opponent chose to ignore the request to continue the game or resign. So you are you saying that once prompted, you'd still ignore the request?