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  • January 18, 2018, 09:39:20 PM

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Author Topic: It's my lunch  (Read 2130 times)

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rashea

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It's my lunch
« on: January 03, 2018, 11:44:43 AM »
Not a big deal, just had this happen. Had an interaction with a coworker. She's a supervisor, but not over me. And within the organization I have at least as much prestige and respect. I have dumplings for lunch today. Just a package. I went to throw them in the microwave and had a coworker comment on them. First it was about the fact that I was microwaving them. Yes, they are better steamed and fried, but they are ok microwaved. Then she said "I'm not sure I'm ok with you eating just that." I don't think she meant to be condescending, but wow. I think I just said, "well, I don't think it's your concern" and left.

I'd love a better response for this person, as she tends to try to "mother" me.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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DanaJ

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2018, 11:47:34 AM »
I think your response was just perfect, actually.

TeamBhakta

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2018, 11:49:13 AM »
Next time I'd tell her directly "It's bad enough when men try to police our bodies. But now you want to do that to a fellow woman ? Not cool. Worry about your own body."

Aleko

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2018, 12:15:15 PM »
I think my response would have been to say cheerfully, "Fortunately you're not responsible for what I have for lunch!" and leave it at that.

No offence taken, dear, but if you think you can or should police my dietary intake, you can unthink it right now.

Harriet Jones

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2018, 12:16:25 PM »
I think your response was fine.  It isn't her concern.

malfoyfan13

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2018, 12:42:50 PM »
This is helpful to me as I have a relative, a few years younger than I am, who does the same thing.  Constantly trying to be the diet police, the exercise police, you name it.  I can't figure out why she thinks I'm one of her kids or someone who needs instruction as I have not asked for her input.  I've been trying to think of a polite way to tell her to MYOB.  In spite of all the helpful phrases here on E-hell, it's hard when it's a close relative (or a co-worker) one has to see all the time.

rose red

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2018, 12:51:57 PM »
Your response was firm but still polite given what she said.  Anything else would sound snarky.

This is helpful to me as I have a relative, a few years younger than I am, who does the same thing.  Constantly trying to be the diet police, the exercise police, you name it.  I can't figure out why she thinks I'm one of her kids or someone who needs instruction as I have not asked for her input.  I've been trying to think of a polite way to tell her to MYOB.  In spite of all the helpful phrases here on E-hell, it's hard when it's a close relative (or a co-worker) one has to see all the time.

"That's between me and my doctor. My body is none of your concern."

TurtleDove

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2018, 01:11:01 PM »
I think your response was well done. In general, I think snarky responses - or even responses intended to educate - backfire and actually unintentionally give the person who commented "power" in their mind. "I must have really struck a chord with my co-worker, since my comment affects her so. She must really care what I think! My opinion and approval matter to her!" When in reality, just the opposite is the truth - the commenter's opinion is neither wanted nor cared about. I find the best response is to cheerfully ignore and deflect, just like the OP did.

MrTango

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2018, 01:57:51 PM »
My response would depend on how I want to be perceived by this person going forward.

If I wanted to develop or maintain a friendship, I'd probably just shrug it off.  If I didn't, I'd say "Well, I am sure that your opinion of my meal is irrelevant."

Writer of Wrongs

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2018, 09:07:47 AM »
My response would depend on how I want to be perceived by this person going forward.

If I wanted to develop or maintain a friendship, I'd probably just shrug it off.  If I didn't, I'd say "Well, I am sure that your opinion of my meal is irrelevant."

I think it would be okay, in the situation given, to cheerfully say, "I'm okay with you not being okay with it, because I'm okay with it."

I think the key is to keep the tone light and cheerful, not annoyed or snarky - although if this became a habit, I would probably say something a little stronger. Something to the effect of, "You seem to comment on my food choices frequently. I would appreciate you keeping your opinions about my eating habits to yourself."
Some day, I hope to get paid to kill people. Now, I just do it for fun.

GardenGal

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Re: It's my lunch
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2018, 01:43:41 PM »
OP - I think your response was great, and you've gotten some great advice from other posters.  One other thing you could say, in this or similar situations where a comment is very inappropriate: "You know you just said that out loud, right?" and accompany it with a look that says are you for real?
"No matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Banzai