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  • December 12, 2017, 12:40:38 PM

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Author Topic: Etiquette of singles  (Read 8693 times)

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diesel_darlin

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #30 on: October 10, 2016, 10:23:34 PM »
I think the definition of date depends on the couple.  I know some couples who are perfectly fine hanging out with singles and don't make them feel awkward and like they're a 3rd wheel.  I also know other couples who are all over each other (ie a makeout session at restaurant booth) and it is an awkward feeling for the single.   Also every other word out of their mouths is about how awesome it is to be 1/2 of a couple (yes this is a specific example). 

I think if you're not the latter couple, for the most part you're fine.  But whenever there's an odd number in a group someone is going to be the odd one out.  If one person in the group is consistently that odd number, that's when they're going to feel bad.


This.

I have married friends that I met while I was still married. They've been with me through the whole divorce and everything.

We do many activities together, but they never make me feel like I was an outsider.

 I have been in situations where there were whispers, and heavy PDA. I left, and the couple couldn't figure out why I left.  ::)

Sharnita

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #31 on: October 30, 2016, 02:35:03 PM »
When making plans for family get-togethers, ask the single family members about their plans and commitments. Do not assume they can automatically accommodate to whatever the marrieds/with kids decides.

crazycatlady331

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #32 on: December 05, 2017, 07:35:44 PM »
This is an old thread (that I started).  But I saw this article and thought of it.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/news/soloish/wp/2017/12/04/december-is-an-expensive-time-to-be-single/

lakey

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #33 on: December 05, 2017, 10:59:02 PM »
I'm a childless, single person. I felt that this article gave little attention to the costs, in time and money, of having children. Life isn't perfect for anyone. Single people have the expense of covering the whole rent or mortgage. Married people with children have the expense of raising children. Everyone has issues to deal with. In the end we pretty much make the choice to live the way we choose. Feeling like "life isn't fair" isn't very constructive. What is constructive is learning to speak up for yourself. If your family expects you to travel by plane to spend Christmas with them, then you just need to learn to say "no".

crazycatlady331

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #34 on: December 06, 2017, 07:38:05 AM »
I agree raising children is expensive, but the article is also getting that the system is designed to benefit married couples with children.   I won't go off on a tangent but think about the tax breaks society gives parents.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #35 on: December 07, 2017, 04:26:15 AM »
I'm a childless, single person. I felt that this article gave little attention to the costs, in time and money, of having children. Life isn't perfect for anyone. Single people have the expense of covering the whole rent or mortgage. Married people with children have the expense of raising children. Everyone has issues to deal with. In the end we pretty much make the choice to live the way we choose. Feeling like "life isn't fair" isn't very constructive. What is constructive is learning to speak up for yourself. If your family expects you to travel by plane to spend Christmas with them, then you just need to learn to say "no".

In fairness though, sometimes being single isn't always a choice. It's not like you can go shopping and pick a decent partner off a shelf! I'm partnered up, but have several wonderful single friends. Some of those friends would love to find a partner, and they are "doing everything right" - putting themselves out there, paying attention to their appearance and personality, trying online dating, joining groups, etc. But they just haven't met Mr/Ms Right yet. Sometimes good luck and timing play a part.

diesel_darlin

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #36 on: December 09, 2017, 02:25:54 AM »
I'm a childless, single person. I felt that this article gave little attention to the costs, in time and money, of having children. Life isn't perfect for anyone. Single people have the expense of covering the whole rent or mortgage. Married people with children have the expense of raising children. Everyone has issues to deal with. In the end we pretty much make the choice to live the way we choose. Feeling like "life isn't fair" isn't very constructive. What is constructive is learning to speak up for yourself. If your family expects you to travel by plane to spend Christmas with them, then you just need to learn to say "no".

In fairness though, sometimes being single isn't always a choice. It's not like you can go shopping and pick a decent partner off a shelf! I'm partnered up, but have several wonderful single friends. Some of those friends would love to find a partner, and they are "doing everything right" - putting themselves out there, paying attention to their appearance and personality, trying online dating, joining groups, etc. But they just haven't met Mr/Ms Right yet. Sometimes good luck and timing play a part.

Exactly. I'm not attractive by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm a good person. It's just quite hard to find people who value looks less than personality. I haven't tried the dating sites yet. I'm kinda on the fence between thinking it's a good idea and thinking it's a waste of time. I wish your friends luck!

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #37 on: December 09, 2017, 12:09:59 PM »
^ I'm not what I would consider particularly attractive, either.  I managed to find DF online.  There were a couple other guys before him that found me attractive, as well, though they were not for me.  You have to have a pretty thick skin with online - you send lots of messages to lots of people before you get one or some who respond to you.  If you can deal with people not responding to your overtures, you might be surprised who you find.  DF isn't someone I would have found, if not for online dating.  We don't move in the same circles, mainly because we didn't live in the same town.  Close enough that it wasn't a long distance relationship but far enough that our paths would have never crossed.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

diesel_darlin

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Re: Etiquette of singles
« Reply #38 on: December 10, 2017, 12:50:29 PM »
I see how it has worked for so many people, but I'm still hesitant to try it. Guess I just need to bite the bullet.   ;D