Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Techno-quette => Topic started by: guihong on June 13, 2012, 09:37:16 PM

Title: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: guihong on June 13, 2012, 09:37:16 PM
Hi, all:

Remember the FB breast cancer awareness game last year, something about the colour of your foundations?  It's baaaack!

A friend PM'd me, saying that this time it's naming a fruit that corresponds with your relationship status.  It requested that we PM our female friends with the directions and use the fruit in our post somewhere.

Is it rude to "not see this" and not participate?  What happens if my friend mentions it? 

How these games have anything to do with cancer research and awareness, I have no idea  >:(.  In fact, men get breast cancer too; would it be rude to point that out to my friend or should I just forget it?
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Lynnv on June 13, 2012, 09:40:32 PM
I find it annoying.  And I ignore it.  If someone were to ask me (noone has), I would say that I don't participate in that kind of game on FB (or in real life either).
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Allyson on June 13, 2012, 11:53:34 PM
Just ignore it. The more people who don't give this attention, the sooner it will go away. Unfortunately, the people who love doing these things will continue doing them for as long as others also participate. I've seen these things turn into a back-and-forth between those who love this 'awareness' stuff and those who think it's pointless. In my opinion it's better just to let those who love it post their one or two statuses about it.

If, however, you get blasted for not being 'caring' enough personally, feel free to say your piece..preferably in PM not a status.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: diesel_darlin on June 14, 2012, 12:06:08 AM
I must admit, I participated in the first one about the color of our bras. Once I realized that this game was more annoying than helpful, I stopped participating. Whenever I get the message about the latest version of this game, I simply click "leave conversation".
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: CakeEater on June 14, 2012, 04:19:06 AM
Not at all rude to ignore. Most people actually do ignore it, I think.

I, in fact, wouldn't mind the playing of the game. It's the linking it with some kind of 'awareness' campaign that allows those who participate to feel a) like they've done something useful when they haven't, and b) morally superior to those who choose not to 'help', that annoys me.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Iris on June 14, 2012, 06:53:19 AM
Not at all rude to ignore. Most people actually do ignore it, I think.

I, in fact, wouldn't mind the playing of the game. It's the linking it with some kind of 'awareness' campaign that allows those who participate to feel a) like they've done something useful when they haven't, and b) morally superior to those who choose not to 'help', that annoys me.

Agreed. The games themselves seem like harmless, if somewhat juvenile, fun. I just don't see how they are useful is all.

I say it would be fine to ignore it.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: O'Dell on June 14, 2012, 07:25:54 AM
Ignore it. If someone asks and you don't want to explain your opinion, tell them you must have missed seeing it and change the subject.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Perfect Circle on June 14, 2012, 07:59:48 AM
I never participate. Cancer isn't cured by random status updates that annoy people. I don't justify my non-participation either.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on June 14, 2012, 08:32:15 AM
Not to mention, in this day and age you'd have to be living under a rock to not have awareness of breast cancer.   The games aren't doing diddly-squat for raising awareness, cause some of them have absolutely nothing to do with breasts anyway. There was one, say where you put your purse when you come in the door and preface it with "I like it *by the door*" so it would sound rather naughty.

It can be a fun game, but I fail to see what in the world it's supposed to do to help breast cancer.  If someone really wants to help, they oughta do one of those walks.  Either the Walk for the Cure or Relay for Life. Something that actually puts money towards finding a cure.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: RebeccainGA on June 14, 2012, 09:02:06 AM
As the wife of a breast cancer survivor, I find these games insulting. The same people that would mock you for not participating are the ones that acted like I was insane for spending so much time sitting at the chemo suite with DP, since 'there are all those nurses up there to take care of her, silly! You should go get your nails done or something!'

Ignore away.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: scotcat60 on June 14, 2012, 09:57:16 AM
As the wife of a breast cancer survivor, I find these games insulting. The same people that would mock you for not participating are the ones that acted like I was insane for spending so much time sitting at the chemo suite with DP, since 'there are all those nurses up there to take care of her, silly! You should go get your nails done or something!'

As a breast cancer survivor I can say that having someone sit with you when you have the chemo is great for the morale.

I've never heard of this "game" and anyway, the screenng programmes, in the UK at least, take care of awareness.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Layla Miller on June 14, 2012, 11:07:22 AM
The worst part of these games, for me, is that men get breast cancer as well.  It's not as well known, either, so the "Tee hee!  Don't tell the guys!" aspect is actually counter-productive to awareness.  If anything, people should be raising awareness specifically for men, because they're the group that's most likely to be overlooked!
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Giggity on June 14, 2012, 11:25:07 AM
Is it rude to "not see this" and not participate?

Why would it be rude?
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Style_and_Grace on June 14, 2012, 05:41:31 PM

Is it rude to "not see this" and not participate?  What happens if my friend mentions it? 

How these games have anything to do with cancer research and awareness, I have no idea  >:(.  In fact, men get breast cancer too; would it be rude to point that out to my friend or should I just forget it?

Totally not rude to "not see it" and not participate.  Brush the friend off with an "oh yeah maybe later" if it gets mentioned. 

I'm pretty sure these games have zero to do with research and awareness and more to do with annoying friends with crazy vague status posts (which I ignore.)
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on June 14, 2012, 05:47:39 PM
The most recent one I saw was saying you're going to another country for 21 days.  My aunt posted she was going to St. Petersburg for 21 days. I thought she actually was going and asked her what was in St. Petersburg.

Turns out it was one of these games.  ::)
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: kareng57 on June 14, 2012, 08:58:31 PM
The worst part of these games, for me, is that men get breast cancer as well.  It's not as well known, either, so the "Tee hee!  Don't tell the guys!" aspect is actually counter-productive to awareness.  If anything, people should be raising awareness specifically for men, because they're the group that's most likely to be overlooked!


And isn't the prognosis generally much worse for men with breast cancer?

I've known breast cancer survivors who have become very weary of the "everything pink" and the constant in-your-face awareness.  Most of all, they'd like to just get on with their lives.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: artk2002 on June 15, 2012, 10:56:14 AM
Really, this has very little to do with breast cancer. It's a juvenile game where those "in the know" can mock those who aren't. It's particularly juvenile since it's mainly a "boy vs girl" thing -- one would hope that people would grow out of that after middle school. Breast cancer is just the emotional hook to coerce people to participate. It's no different than the more overt "95% of people won't post this emotionally manipulative status."
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: baglady on June 15, 2012, 10:56:18 PM
Really, this has very little to do with breast cancer. It's a juvenile game where those "in the know" can mock those who aren't. It's particularly juvenile since it's mainly a "boy vs girl" thing -- one would hope that people would grow out of that after middle school. Breast cancer is just the emotional hook to coerce people to participate. It's no different than the more overt "95% of people won't post this emotionally manipulative status."

^What Art said.^ I really dislike the "awareness" memes. The activities themselves are kind of fun -- what color is your bra, post a cartoon character as your profile, etc. -- but nobody has been able to explain to me what good "awareness" does. Show me someone who's not aware of breast cancer, child abuse, autism, etc., and I'll show you someone who's been in a coma since 1948.

We don't need more "awareness"; we need all those aware people to take action. Post a fun status for fun, but don't pretend it's actually making a difference for the cause du jour.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: KenveeB on June 15, 2012, 11:28:25 PM
I despise these games. I immediately remove myself from a message conversation about them. The last time I noticed the statuses starting to go up, I posted something along the lines of, "It's not enough to just 'raise awareness'. Sooner or later people are going to say 'We're aware, now what?', and you'd better have an answer. If you actually want to help breast cancer, advocate self-examinations, share the number for a mobile mammography center, or donate to a reputable research group. DO something, don't just 'raise awareness'."
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Giggity on June 16, 2012, 09:06:33 AM
I don't play them.

If included in a PM about them, I politely state my opinion of the situation, and remove myself from the conversation.

If someone has enough temerity to post it on my wall ... all bets are off and the poster will learn the meaning of the term "slacktivism" post-haste. Politely, of course.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: GreenEyedHawk on June 16, 2012, 10:07:16 AM
I just ignore them, same as the one about changing your profile picture to a favourite childhood cartoon character to raise awareness for child abuse.  This helps how, exactly?

I also tend to ignore online petitions, as from a legal standpoint, an electronic signature (typing your name on an online petition) means nothing.  They are a better way to raise awareness or state your opinion on something, but still IMO they do little to cause actual change.

There was one going around amongst my fb friends awhile back about changing your profile to a pet that you love in order to raise awareness for animal abuse.  Again, this helps how?  I volunteer at my local shelter.  I donate supplies.  I help with their fundraising events.  This, to me, feels like a more....real?...way of helping a cause near to my heart than posting a photo of one of my pets on fb....which I do anyways.  Right now my profile pic is the silly one of Ripley laying on her back.  It's not that because I';m trying to raise awareness for animal abuse....it's because I like that picture.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: stormyskies on June 16, 2012, 10:37:34 AM
The worst part of these games, for me, is that men get breast cancer as well.  It's not as well known, either, so the "Tee hee!  Don't tell the guys!" aspect is actually counter-productive to awareness.  If anything, people should be raising awareness specifically for men, because they're the group that's most likely to be overlooked!


And isn't the prognosis generally much worse for men with breast cancer?

I've known breast cancer survivors who have become very weary of the "everything pink" and the constant in-your-face awareness.  Most of all, they'd like to just get on with their lives.

I agree with both posters above. People with breast cancer are a diverse group, and everyone will have their own story and their own feelings about it. It's ridiculous and patronizing to paint everyone with the same brush.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: CakeEater on June 16, 2012, 08:43:51 PM
I just ignore them, same as the one about changing your profile picture to a favourite childhood cartoon character to raise awareness for child abuse.  This helps how, exactly?

I also tend to ignore online petitions, as from a legal standpoint, an electronic signature (typing your name on an online petition) means nothing.  They are a better way to raise awareness or state your opinion on something, but still IMO they do little to cause actual change.

There was one going around amongst my fb friends awhile back about changing your profile to a pet that you love in order to raise awareness for animal abuse.  Again, this helps how?  I volunteer at my local shelter.  I donate supplies.  I help with their fundraising events.  This, to me, feels like a more....real?...way of helping a cause near to my heart than posting a photo of one of my pets on fb....which I do anyways.  Right now my profile pic is the silly one of Ripley laying on her back.  It's not that because I';m trying to raise awareness for animal abuse....it's because I like that picture.

Definitely. I actually participated in a little game around the time of the royal wedding last year when a bunch of people on my friends list were changing their pictures to themselves on their wedding day, or something wedding related. Harmless, you got to see some people's out of date wedding style, and no-one was claiming it would save the world.

Whether or not others thought I was silly for doing it didn't worry me, but I wasn't claiming to be doing anything other than changing my profile picture.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: KenveeB on June 16, 2012, 09:10:31 PM
I just ignore them, same as the one about changing your profile picture to a favourite childhood cartoon character to raise awareness for child abuse.  This helps how, exactly?

I also tend to ignore online petitions, as from a legal standpoint, an electronic signature (typing your name on an online petition) means nothing.  They are a better way to raise awareness or state your opinion on something, but still IMO they do little to cause actual change.

There was one going around amongst my fb friends awhile back about changing your profile to a pet that you love in order to raise awareness for animal abuse.  Again, this helps how?  I volunteer at my local shelter.  I donate supplies.  I help with their fundraising events.  This, to me, feels like a more....real?...way of helping a cause near to my heart than posting a photo of one of my pets on fb....which I do anyways.  Right now my profile pic is the silly one of Ripley laying on her back.  It's not that because I';m trying to raise awareness for animal abuse....it's because I like that picture.

Definitely. I actually participated in a little game around the time of the royal wedding last year when a bunch of people on my friends list were changing their pictures to themselves on their wedding day, or something wedding related. Harmless, you got to see some people's out of date wedding style, and no-one was claiming it would save the world.

Whether or not others thought I was silly for doing it didn't worry me, but I wasn't claiming to be doing anything other than changing my profile picture.

I did the cartoon character one, but when I did, I posted "I don't see what this has to do with child abuse, but I just want to have She-Ra on my status for a week. :)"
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Hunter-Gatherer on June 16, 2012, 11:07:05 PM
Really, this has very little to do with breast cancer. It's a juvenile game where those "in the know" can mock those who aren't. It's particularly juvenile since it's mainly a "boy vs girl" thing -- one would hope that people would grow out of that after middle school. Breast cancer is just the emotional hook to coerce people to participate. It's no different than the more overt "95% of people won't post this emotionally manipulative status."

POD, pod, poddity pod, with some extra pod sauce.

As a man I find these things incredibly annoying.  The whole concept of we're going to make all these cryptic messages and not tell tell the boys what's going on seems annoying, immature, and rude to me. 

I also agree with baglady and KenveeB.  We're all aware of breast cancer... if you're going to advocate something, advocate an action not a silly status and don't couch it in sexism.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Sharnita on June 17, 2012, 06:57:03 AM
Even if men didn't get breast cancer they have wives, daughters, sisters and mothers.  They become caregivers.  They can donate money.  Why wouldn't women want them to be just as aware?
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: lmyrs on June 18, 2012, 11:29:59 PM
Ugh. Slactivism with a side order if juvenile "secret keeping". I just ignore, though last year I posted the links to donate to some cancer agencies. Whenevr I hear about these "repost to raise awareness" campaigns in person, I mention the whole Kony 2012 thing where it was reposted millions of times but only a really small percentage of people actually bothered to watch the video. Most people had no idea what they were posting.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: Addy on June 19, 2012, 12:34:10 PM
I also hate and ignore these games. But what I also do is clue in my husband, so that he doesn't feel foolish if he comments on somebody's cryptic status.

Don't tell the boys? Ha! It's the first thing I do.
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: AllyKat on June 27, 2012, 12:00:46 PM
I think I would like it better if it was just a fun game, not an "awareness" thing. And I always wonder who comes up with these. Is there a secret committee somewhere that decides what this year's post will be?  ???
Title: Re: The annual breast cancer awareness game
Post by: artk2002 on June 27, 2012, 02:17:16 PM
I think I would like it better if it was just a fun game, not an "awareness" thing. And I always wonder who comes up with these. Is there a secret committee somewhere that decides what this year's post will be?  ???

Yes there is. And they're secretly laughing at you because you aren't one of them.  As I noted above, the "awareness" part is just an emotional hook to coerce more people into playing.