Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => "So kind of you to take an interest." => Topic started by: snugasabug on June 27, 2012, 05:59:09 AM

Title: Food Police...at work.
Post by: snugasabug on June 27, 2012, 05:59:09 AM
I have worn our my "SoOOOo kind of you to take an interest comment."  I need a friendly back up.

I work in an environment where we cannot take separate breaks nor can we leave the building. 

Typically staff bring in a bagged lunch and we just eat when everyone is having lunch. No big deal.  There are a few people who INSIST on commenting on my lunch. Every single time!

I am a plus size gal who likes to eat healthy. *insert look of horror and shock*  Apparently according to a few peeps at work, that's just not possible.   Sometimes when they comment about how healthy my lunch is, I reply with "I'm always trying to eat healthy...not easy sometimes."  If I add the "So kind of you to take an interest" they start laughing and sometimes mimic that phrase.  I usually try to steer the conversation away from my lunch and back onto whatever that person likes to talk about.

Yesterday I was happily getting my lunch out, when Lucy said "You ALWAYS eat healthy.  At first I thought you were trying to impress me or trick me."

My reply was light and upbeat "Trick you?  My lunch really has nothing to do with you or anyone else, it's just a lunch."

Then she went on to say "If you really did eat like that all the time, why are you so overweight?  You MUST have a medical problem. Maybe hormone problem?"

I just looked at her. Said nothing.

She mumbled something about how she has recently lost 10lbs in 1 week...and had some tips for me.

Lucy was drinking a coke, eating a sub and chips while she was saying that.

I smiled and said, as best as I could "Thanks for taking an interest, but I am not interested in your tips.  So? How's your son? Is he playing any sports this summer?  etc...."

It really does hurt when people make assumptions or comments about how "impossible" it is for me to like healthy food or how I could possibly be a bigger person etc.

How can I get people to NOT talk about my food or my weight / size?  I certainly don't talk about their physical appearance or grade their lunch out loud. 

As I was making my lunch this morning, I was actually thinking about who I would be eating lunch with and trying to guess what they would say about it.  (baby spinach salad with cukes, grape tomatoes and some strawberries that we picked on Sunday + water)

Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Redsoil on June 27, 2012, 06:05:30 AM
Perhaps something like:  "I eat good foods because I like to look after my health.  You may feel it's appropriate to comment on both my food and my weight, but I don't.  People come in all shapes and sizes - it would be nice if others simply accepted that."
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Amalthea on June 27, 2012, 06:09:24 AM
Have you tried not mentioning the health aspects of it when they comment?  Just dodge it and go on about how delicious your salad is.  That doesn't really give them anything to argue back against, so they might drop it.

Option B is add something with tentacles to it.  They'll stop commenting about the health part at least. ;)
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Darcy on June 27, 2012, 07:19:43 AM
As this seems to be a continuing problem, I would get blunt and tell them "My health is not up for discussion. You are not my doctor and it is not your business. Please refrain from commenting on it in the future."

If it continues, I'd consider taking this to your HR department, or somewhere farther up the chain.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: BeagleMommy on June 27, 2012, 08:47:15 AM
I hate, hate, hate this type of "helpful" person.  They think that every overweight person is automatically an unhealthy person.  OP, I think you're doing fine, but if they persist in the commenting I would say "My food choices are not up for discussion and I will not discuss them any further".  I can almost guarantee if the OP was eating a big, gooey cheeseburger, fries and a brownie they would be saying "Are you sure you should be eating that?" or "You know that's not a healthy lunch."
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Lorelei_Evil on June 27, 2012, 09:07:52 AM
As this seems to be a continuing problem, I would get blunt and tell them "My health is not up for discussion. You are not my doctor and it is not your business. Please refrain from commenting on it in the future."

If it continues, I'd consider taking this to your HR department, or somewhere farther up the chain.

POD.  They're not trying to be helpful.  They are tearing you down to build themselves up.  Be direct and don't pussyfoot around the issue.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: TheVapors on June 27, 2012, 01:51:39 PM
Honestly, I'd stop replying at all from now on. It's not any of their business, and it never will be. So, be sure you make it none of their business by not responding when they try to make it.

Example:

"Your lunch is so healthy looking. Who would've guessed right?"
You: Silence.
"Right?"
You: Silence.
Awkward silence for them.
You: "So nice outside. Kinda sucks to be stuck inside working. Least we're almost done with those TPS reports finally."
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: O'Dell on June 27, 2012, 02:57:16 PM
If I add the "So kind of you to take an interest" they start laughing and sometimes mimic that phrase.

I agree with Lorelei that they are tearing you down to build themselves up. The above quote indicates that their intentions are not at all nice.

 I'd go with silence next. If the comments don't taper off then the direct approach.

Honestly, having said that, what I'd actually do would be to say what you said in your post about trying to predict what would be said while you made your lunch.

<"snarky healthy food comment">
"How funny! This morning while I made my lunch I tried to predict who would comment. I would have put money on Lucy with strawberries in the breakroom , but it's Gerry with the spinach at our desks!" Rude or not I'm not above making fun of people's rude behavior.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Mental Magpie on June 27, 2012, 07:10:53 PM
"You always eat so healthy!"
"Yes, and you don't, would you like to compare arteries?"

No?

I agree that it is time to be blunt, or humorous if that is more your inclination, but the fact that she just kept going is enough for me to say that being nice or quiet isn't going to do the job.

"And why on earth is that any of your business?"
"What an astute observation," said dryly in reply to, "You always eat so healthy!"
If TheVapor's silence continues to not work and they ask you why you're being quiet, you could say, "Because this is absolutely none of your business," or, "Because I refuse to respond to rudeness."
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: doodlemor on June 27, 2012, 07:30:33 PM

Option B is add something with tentacles to it.  They'll stop commenting about the health part at least. ;)

I love this.  Cook up some calamari and pass it around.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on June 27, 2012, 09:30:38 PM
What if you said...


...and you care, because?
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Isometric on June 27, 2012, 10:34:47 PM
I thought when you left school you didn't have to deal with mean girls anymore!

Sorry you have to go through that every lunch time. Would I be right in saying if you bought chocolate and chips for lunch they would say you shouldn't be eating it?

I vote for silence too. If they ask if you heard them, smile and say "yes, but I didn't have anything to add because we discussed this yesterday"

Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Ceallach on June 27, 2012, 10:42:49 PM
Ugh how awful!  Some people don't seem to realise that everybody is different and they're not the experts of the world.  Size does not directly correlate to what you eat - if it did, those insanely stick thin girls n guys who chow down junk food and struggle to gain even a little bit of weight wouldn't exist! (They do, and have to put up with comments from people all the time about how little they eat. I've had friends like that and sometimes they have to supplement just to maintain a healthy weight!).  I've always been grateful that I'm not like that, because it forces me to make healthy eating choices!  But the fact is, everybody has a different metabolism.  Plus, once your metabolism is screwed up it can be hard to lose weight regardless of what you're eating.  Sadly it's just not as simple as people like to think.  And unfortunately, I don't think you can re-educate them effectively.  Some people are so narrow minded.

If it were me, I would start acting genuinely offended.  After all, their comments are offensive.  They are implying that you lie about what you're eating, that you're somehow so insecure that you would try to "pretend" to be healthy for their approval, and a number of other unpleasant things.  I would look furious and say "Excuse me?!" people tend to back down when they realise that their ill-mannered but "lighthearted" comments are not welcome.

Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: bbgirl on June 28, 2012, 12:18:49 AM
I might say something like...

"I'm sorry, but how would you like me to reply to that comment?"
and maybe leave it there for them to stumble...

I personally might add the following to the first sentence...but I'm very blunt and tend to get to the point of the topic rather than dance around to not make others uncomfortable.

 
".....In a self deprecating fashion whereupon I commiserate with you about how it's all an act and when I get home I snarf every fast food item in sight just so you can feel better about yourself?  Because I find your commentary on my food choices and motives behind what I eat rude, pushy, and based on your own attitudes towards people and food."


What a rude rude coworker...
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Amava on June 28, 2012, 02:42:18 AM
Co-worker says:
Quote
Then she went on to say "If you really did eat like that all the time, why are you so overweight?  You MUST have a medical problem. Maybe hormone problem?"

*look astonished*
Reply lightly: "I feel we're kind of overstepping the boundaries of polite conversation here!"
Change subject or turn away.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: snugasabug on June 28, 2012, 04:55:59 AM
I thought when you left school you didn't have to deal with mean girls anymore!

Sorry you have to go through that every lunch time. Would I be right in saying if you bought chocolate and chips for lunch they would say you shouldn't be eating it?

Hahaha!  OP here - they probably wouldn't say a word....to me! They would likely talk about it behind my back.  LOL I should do that, just for kicks and giggles. Just to see their reaction and not really eat it. I'll lay it all out, and excuse myself to make a phone call or something. :) 
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: snugasabug on June 28, 2012, 05:04:55 AM
OP here

Thanks for giving me some new focus and phrases to use.  I feel prepared!

I think you have hit the nail on the head. They are saying these things because it's more about their food issue and not mine.

One of my offending coworkers (who does not drink coffee) decided that the coffee cream will now be 0% skim milk.  She was picking up the groceries and decided it was time to "make the change" as she called it.

 I don't drink coffee, but I will silently be smiling as that one plays itself out between my coworkers.  I don't think it will be pretty.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Free Range Hippy Chick on June 28, 2012, 05:47:30 AM


 "You ALWAYS eat healthy."

My brother's response to this sort of blindingly obvious and none-of-your-business remark is 'They tell me Mafeking has been relieved'. He says it shuts down the conversation beautifully - half the time because it conveys 'what you're saying is such old news that I can't believe you said it' and the other half because the listener has absolutely no idea what he's saying at all.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Venus193 on June 28, 2012, 08:36:40 AM
As this seems to be a continuing problem, I would get blunt and tell them "My health is not up for discussion. You are not my doctor and it is not your business. Please refrain from commenting on it in the future."

If it continues, I'd consider taking this to your HR department, or somewhere farther up the chain.

This.   And this is the consequence of unchecked bullying behavior in children.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: audrey1962 on June 28, 2012, 08:51:25 AM
Don't engage them any more. Just smile wanely or nod. They're not really asking a question, so there's nothing to reply to. I wouldn't bother with any type of witty reply as they obviously aren't picking up on it. So just stop talking to them when they bring it up and only respond to topics you want to discuss (kids, movies, pets, the weekend, whatever).
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: HotMango on June 29, 2012, 07:52:34 AM
"You're so little! I bet you can eat anything you want and never gain weight, right?" I always hate the snarky tone of voice they say it in too like you shouldn't be concerned with healthy food options if you're at a healthy weight (in fact, my doctor says I'm not underweight).

"Are you kidding me? No way!" They always look so crest fallen when this is my honest answer.

I've found assumptions about body types and eating habits say much more about the behaviors of those that would assume rather than the "target."
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Minmom3 on June 29, 2012, 12:13:39 PM
"Smirk.  I'll bet you were fun in junior high!"
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: SadieBaby on June 30, 2012, 07:13:56 AM
I would probably try to be the last one arriving in the lunch room.  When I came in, I would hold up my lunch and say "Attention everyone!  Today I have spinach, lettuce, apple slices and pecans, all coated in a light strawberry vinaigrette.  Oh, and an iced tea.  Alice, I hope you won't be appalled at the nuts in the salad.  Jane, no grapes today, so you needn't examine the bowl!.  Now, since we've all had a good look at my lunch, perhaps we can move on to more interesting topics."

I would do this every day until they got so sick of it they would tell me to shut up and sit down the minute I walked in!

Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: snugasabug on July 01, 2012, 06:58:18 PM
I would probably try to be the last one arriving in the lunch room.  When I came in, I would hold up my lunch and say "Attention everyone!  Today I have spinach, lettuce, apple slices and pecans, all coated in a light strawberry vinaigrette.  Oh, and an iced tea.  Alice, I hope you won't be appalled at the nuts in the salad.  Jane, no grapes today, so you needn't examine the bowl!.  Now, since we've all had a good look at my lunch, perhaps we can move on to more interesting topics."

I would do this every day until they got so sick of it they would tell me to shut up and sit down the minute I walked in!

I LOVE IT!  LOL!
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on July 01, 2012, 07:09:53 PM
"You're so little! I bet you can eat anything you want and never gain weight, right?" I always hate the snarky tone of voice they say it in too like you shouldn't be concerned with healthy food options if you're at a healthy weight (in fact, my doctor says I'm not underweight).

"Are you kidding me? No way!" They always look so crest fallen when this is my honest answer.

I've found assumptions about body types and eating habits say much more about the behaviors of those that would assume rather than the "target."

I'm not skinny, but I am short and not especially curvy, either.  I wish my being slender meant no comments from the food police but I still got them.   Along the lines of "You shouldn't eat that, you'll lose your girlish figure!" Or "Just cause you're thin doesn't mean you shouldn't eat healthy!" This said while eating a chicken pot pie.  Which didn't exactly strike me as unhealthy as it has meat and veggies in it, some dairy and some grains. Balanced meal! LOL!

I think it is about the other person though as the women getting on me about those things were slender women themselves who always whined about being "Fat" and how middle age was taking it's toll on them, weight wise.  I doubt they could have weighed much more than I did and they were both taller than me.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: greencat on July 01, 2012, 07:21:34 PM
I think you've passed the point where you should take this up with HR.  Your coworkers are being extremely unprofessional and creating a hostile work environment - since you can't leave the work location for lunch.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: RooRoo on July 01, 2012, 08:35:54 PM
Quote
I reply with "I'm always trying to eat healthy...not easy sometimes."  If I add the "So kind of you to take an interest" ...

Ah. Here's part of the problem. If you give an explanation, then add the phrase, it sounds as if you're actually thanking them for taking an interest - and in that case, it does sound stilted.

Next time someone asks you an overly personal question, respond with the phrase, in a cold (not friendly) tone. It helps if your facial expression says, "I can't believe you asked me that!"

No explanations, no excuses!  ;)
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: BC12 on July 02, 2012, 04:25:32 AM
Maybe try, "Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. I get a lot of comments on my lunches and it makes me uncomfortable to have to explain myself. Let's talk about something else." Then say nothing until they come up with a new subject and enjoy the awkward silence as they realize they've offended you. If they say, "Oh, I'm really sorry, it's just that I thought it was so strange that blah blah blah" and proceed to try to explain themselves to you, interrupt them and firmly say, "Lucy. You are still talking about it. Let's move on, please." Get up and walk away if you have to.

I think you need to really make it clear to them. You've done all you can to try to get them to gently take a hint and it's not working. If it continues after you've plainly told them you don't want to talk about it, then they will have crossed the line from being nosy and possibly oblivious to straight up bullying you.

Keep a record of who says what and the dates. Also mark down the dates of when you notified each of these people that they were making you uncomfortable with their personal questions about your dietary choices. If they don't stop, you should definitely take this to HR to complain.

Actually, Lucy's comments on your weight alone and her questions about your medical history could be reported to HR immediately, as those are absolutely unacceptable topics of discussion that can create a hostile work environment.

It's absolutely nuts to me that you have not one, but several of these people in your office who are so extremely interested in your lunch that they regularly comment on it. I think silence/humorous rebuttals on your part would be far too kind a consequence for these people, and you shouldn't have to put yourself out any longer to accommodate their rudeness. Don't put up with it. It's work, not a social gathering with friends and acquaintances that you have to try to get along with.


Weeee, long post. Sorry for that.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: s on July 02, 2012, 02:53:51 PM
I agee with previous posters that you should report this to HR, especially the comment about your weight!

Also, is there another area you can eat at alone away from these people?  Or if you can't, what about wearing headphones and listening to music or an audio book and ignoring everyone?  I know everyone says to just ignore it but if you can hear it then it still makes it difficult.  If you have headphones and show that you are not willing to be engaged at all plus you obviously won't hear them then maybe that would help?
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: hobish on July 02, 2012, 03:18:17 PM

snugasabug, i am sorry you have to go through that. We talk about food in my office a lot; but most of it is in the way of friendly banter, plus we have 2 diabetic ladies who sit near each other, and we all share recipes and what not. I am glad, though, that you posted this because i can use some of this, too. There was a comment made a week or so ago about monitoring each other and keeping us all on a healthy diet ... my response was something i would be embarassed to post here. Even after all this EHell training my grace under pressure just completely failed. I will think of this thread next time it comes up.

Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Poppea on July 03, 2012, 11:59:53 AM
A friend of mine has had great success with using the phrase "Are you trying to tell me I'm fat?"  and while they sputter she continues "Because, I already know that - but thanks for the heads up!" 

Because, really that's what the OP's co workers are trying to do.  They want to fat shame her, but not be obvious.  If you call them out on it they might back off.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: rain on July 03, 2012, 04:50:19 PM
A friend of mine has had great success with using the phrase "Are you trying to tell me I'm fat?"  and while they sputter she continues "Because, I already know that - but thanks for the heads up!" 

Because, really that's what the OP's co workers are trying to do.  They want to fat shame her, but not be obvious.  If you call them out on it they might back off.

like

and... any updates?
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Raintree on July 04, 2012, 01:38:43 AM
"You sure take an unusual interest in my food." (Said with a "that's kind of weird" tone of voice).

"Why shouldn't I eat healthy? Food is supposed to be nutritious or how could it sustain you through the work day?"

"Sigh....do I need to explain my food EVERY day? Can't I just eat in peace for once?"

"But of COURSE I eat healthy." (Shrug, go back to what you're reading).

"This is getting a bit old, don't you think, this obsessive interest in my food?"

I used to encounter this constantly at a former workplace. Seemed everyone was dying to know what healthy and WEIRD thing I was eating that day. So I went outside for lunch when I could, but you say that's not an option.



Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: 25wishes on July 04, 2012, 12:49:14 PM
I find it rude in general to comment on what another person is eating. Not my business.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: JacklynHyde on July 09, 2012, 04:39:50 PM
My Hyde Side would want to say, "My goodness, you're right!  Someone find me a cake.  I must bury my face in it up to my ears."

 >:D
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: ------ on July 09, 2012, 05:09:41 PM
I have worn our my "SoOOOo kind of you to take an interest comment."  I need a friendly back up.

I work in an environment where we cannot take separate breaks nor can we leave the building. 

Typically staff bring in a bagged lunch and we just eat when everyone is having lunch. No big deal.  There are a few people who INSIST on commenting on my lunch. Every single time!

I am a plus size gal who likes to eat healthy. *insert look of horror and shock*  Apparently according to a few peeps at work, that's just not possible.   Sometimes when they comment about how healthy my lunch is, I reply with "I'm always trying to eat healthy...not easy sometimes."  If I add the "So kind of you to take an interest" they start laughing and sometimes mimic that phrase.  I usually try to steer the conversation away from my lunch and back onto whatever that person likes to talk about.

Yesterday I was happily getting my lunch out, when Lucy said "You ALWAYS eat healthy.  At first I thought you were trying to impress me or trick me."

My reply was light and upbeat "Trick you?  My lunch really has nothing to do with you or anyone else, it's just a lunch."

Then she went on to say "If you really did eat like that all the time, why are you so overweight?  You MUST have a medical problem. Maybe hormone problem?"

I just looked at her. Said nothing.

She mumbled something about how she has recently lost 10lbs in 1 week...and had some tips for me.

Lucy was drinking a coke, eating a sub and chips while she was saying that.

I smiled and said, as best as I could "Thanks for taking an interest, but I am not interested in your tips.  So? How's your son? Is he playing any sports this summer?  etc...."

It really does hurt when people make assumptions or comments about how "impossible" it is for me to like healthy food or how I could possibly be a bigger person etc.

How can I get people to NOT talk about my food or my weight / size?  I certainly don't talk about their physical appearance or grade their lunch out loud. 

As I was making my lunch this morning, I was actually thinking about who I would be eating lunch with and trying to guess what they would say about it.  (baby spinach salad with cukes, grape tomatoes and some strawberries that we picked on Sunday + water)




This sounds to me like it's verging on workplace harassment, or at minimum, bullying. The next time she says that, I would tell her my weight issues are none of her business and that her comments are inappropriate, rude and hurtful. And then document, and report to HR if it continues.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: MissRose on July 10, 2012, 07:14:26 AM
I cannot stand people who think they are food police.  I've not encountered them at work but my mother is one of those people.  It has gotten to the point where I tell her either my weight is not up for discussion, my weight issues are confidential (me and my doctor) not her, or complete silence.  She not only has issues with my weight (as I am plus sized, and 5ft 2in), she does have issues as well regarding her husband and her 13 year old grandson who are both around 5 ft 9/10in & weigh around 230 lbs each.

My mother is one of those people who has a naturally fast metabolism plus is constantly on the move.  If I ate like she did, I would weigh much more than I do currently.  I know I do not always eat the best things but I do not eat tons of food at one sitting either.

Food police at work can be reported to HR and your supervisor.  Unfortunately, I have no such option for my mother!
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: rain on July 12, 2012, 08:37:50 AM
OP .... updates?
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: MsApril on July 24, 2012, 09:55:20 AM
I agree with previous posters.
This was happening to my boyfriend at work! >:D
I suggested he go to HR.
He did and everyone had to attend a meeting about diversity and harrassment.
Which is what they were doing, harrassing him.
Please take this to either your boss, or HR and get this taken care of.
You don't deserve this treatment.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work. , lilacrosey
Post by: LilacRosey on October 17, 2012, 01:59:33 AM
I just lve this response it is so right for so many things.Thank you!
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Ms_Cellany on October 17, 2012, 11:06:54 AM
I'd be tempted to pull out a pad of paper and a pencil, then narrate while I was writing: "Today is Oct. 17, 12:17 p.m. [Co-worker's name] stated 'repeat the exact words.'"
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: whiskeytangofoxtrot on October 17, 2012, 12:25:29 PM
I have a coworker who used to make tactless comments about whatever dumb thought occurred to him. My standard response became a firm gaze, and a "Thank. You." "Thank. You." "Thank. You." I think it confused him; he didn't seem to know what I meant by my reply, and he doesn't have much to say to me anymore. Thank. You!
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Minmom3 on October 17, 2012, 01:18:50 PM
I have a coworker who used to make tactless comments about whatever dumb thought occurred to him. My standard response became a firm gaze, and a "Thank. You." "Thank. You." "Thank. You." I think it confused him; he didn't seem to know what I meant by my reply, and he doesn't have much to say to me anymore. Thank. You!

I like this response, because I think it takes ALL the fun out of it for the Food Police.  That dead pan response is a serious deflater.... 
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Drawberry on October 17, 2012, 05:09:16 PM
A friend of mine has had great success with using the phrase "Are you trying to tell me I'm fat?"  and while they sputter she continues "Because, I already know that - but thanks for the heads up!" 

Because, really that's what the OP's co workers are trying to do.  They want to fat shame her, but not be obvious.  If you call them out on it they might back off.

^
So much truth, so little time.

These coworkers aren't concerned about your health, they're just getting away with making derogatory statements and assumptions. It's so shocking to people that it's completely possible and *GASP* even probable that a fat individual has the same food or fitness habits as a slender person, but this isn't a discussion on your health because that isn't the core of what your coworkers statements are coming from.

Perhaps in the future you could play the naive card;

"Wow OP I can't believe you eat so healthy!"

"I don't get it.."

"Well it's just I never would have thought you ate such healthy food.."

"I don't get what you mean"

By that point the person should be far too engrossed in realizing their blunder to even think of continuing.

You don't need to validate your body to them, it isn't even what they're looking for. They're just looking to be bigoted in a socially acceptable way. Don't ply into their nonsense, don't grace them with an answer, they don't need to or deserve to know about your body.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: scotcat60 on October 21, 2012, 08:57:56 AM
She mumbled something about how she has recently lost 10lbs in 1 week...and had some tips for me.

Lucy was drinking a coke, eating a sub and chips while she was saying that.

If that's so, could she please pass on those tips to us E-Hellions, because I for one would love to know how it's done.

Sadly people will always comement on your food or drink choices. I've had "Gosh you take a lot of milk in your tea!" ( And I don't know why you bother even taking any in yours, you have so little) and "Gosh you've hardly got anything on your plate!" (And you've got enough to feed two other people as well as yourself IMHO) the bracketed comments were not returned by me, but then I didn't know of the "So kind of you to take and interest" reply at the time.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Drawberry on October 25, 2012, 05:02:18 PM
She mumbled something about how she has recently lost 10lbs in 1 week...and had some tips for me.

Lucy was drinking a coke, eating a sub and chips while she was saying that.

If that's so, could she please pass on those tips to us E-Hellions, because I for one would love to know how it's done.
About the only thing I can imagine is she chopped off a limb! 10lbs in a week is either one big fish tale of a story or nothing I want to be involved with ;)
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: greencat on October 25, 2012, 07:16:37 PM
Actually, if you're significantly overweight, and you do a drastic diet change - especially cutting your sodium intake down from multiple times RDA to half the RDA - you can easily drop 10lbs in a week.

My ex did that a couple of times - unfortunately, it just made him discouraged when he didn't see that much of a drop the following week.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Drawberry on November 01, 2012, 06:00:33 PM
Actually, if you're significantly overweight, and you do a drastic diet change - especially cutting your sodium intake down from multiple times RDA to half the RDA - you can easily drop 10lbs in a week.

My ex did that a couple of times - unfortunately, it just made him discouraged when he didn't see that much of a drop the following week.

That kind of weight loss isn't actual fat but a mixture of water-retention as well, I presumed the woman in question was referring to 10lbs of strictly fat. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Tea Drinker on November 03, 2012, 12:02:13 PM
Ten pounds in a week can also be a sign of medical issues. I had that happen to me once, and my doctor and I figured out it was a result of the medication I was on at the time (for an acute condition). We figured that out by my tracking my weight for a while after I stopped using that medicine; if my weight had kept dropping, the next step would probably have been to check for diabetes.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: JenJay on November 03, 2012, 01:00:45 PM
People can be such idiots. If one standard diet worked for everyone there'd be no health/diet/fitness market. About a year ago I finally figured out what worked for me and lost about 15-20lbs of body fat. I am SO glad I'm no longer having lunch in a break room because I know a lot of people would take one look at my meal and feel the need to "help" me understand how "unhealthy" it is. Yeah, I eat a lot of protein and fat (From healthy sources, I'm not drinking straight out of a jug of melted lard or something. lol). It's what MY body needs, thankyouverymuch. Granted, I lost weight, but what's important is that I feel good, sleep well and my skin has cleared up. Body happy! Yay!

If I were in OP's shoes I think I'd look the nosey person right in the eyes and say "What do you mean?" to every comment. Make 'em squirm!
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Ladybugs on January 04, 2013, 05:27:12 PM
OP,

I would confuse them...the next time they comment, "I can't believe your eating a salad.." eagerly say oh yea, wow, that's what my doctors been after me about. He wants me to lay off the healthy low fat stuff.

The coworker will say "why?"

Then you reply with " because my doctor is concerned I am far too thin, dangerously underweight almost. He has been lecturing me about I need to put in at least ten pounds.....gosh, maybe you all are right....do you have any potato chips or anything like that?"

Coworker will scratch head and probably say "ohhh....." And walk off in a confused daze.

Every time they say only a salad, or I can't believe how healthy or low fat you eat, confuse the heck out of them...then thank them
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: QuiltLady on January 05, 2013, 11:28:21 AM
I would simply stop responding at all.  Total silence and just look at them like you're wondering why they would be so rude as to say such a thing.

I'm overweight.  Not drastically so, I don't think, as I wear a size 14 jeans and I could certainly afford to lose 50 lbs.  At work I received a Weight Watcher's cookbook via an interoffice mail envelope from an unknown source.  I was quite shocked and embarrassed.  I don't know anyone personally at work that would be so forward/rude/mean.  We do have a Weight Watcher's At Work group and meetings that I have never attended, not do I intend to.  Even though I was hurt I decided to look at it as someone was trying to be helpful and let it go. There are 500 people in my office and it's no use even trying to speculate on who did that.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: MamaMootz on January 10, 2013, 04:33:44 PM
I would simply stop responding at all.  Total silence and just look at them like you're wondering why they would be so rude as to say such a thing.

I'm overweight.  Not drastically so, I don't think, as I wear a size 14 jeans and I could certainly afford to lose 50 lbs.  At work I received a Weight Watcher's cookbook via an interoffice mail envelope from an unknown source.  I was quite shocked and embarrassed.  I don't know anyone personally at work that would be so forward/rude/mean.  We do have a Weight Watcher's At Work group and meetings that I have never attended, not do I intend to.  Even though I was hurt I decided to look at it as someone was trying to be helpful and let it go. There are 500 people in my office and it's no use even trying to speculate on who did that.

I would have brought both it and the envelope to HR and raised heck. No one has the right to do that to you, QuiltLady. I hope you reported it. That's harassment.
Title: Re: Food Police...at work.
Post by: Jeremy on January 15, 2013, 11:18:32 AM


 "You ALWAYS eat healthy."

My brother's response to this sort of blindingly obvious and none-of-your-business remark is 'They tell me Mafeking has been relieved'. He says it shuts down the conversation beautifully - half the time because it conveys 'what you're saying is such old news that I can't believe you said it' and the other half because the listener has absolutely no idea what he's saying at all.

Ha!  I love it!  :D

And if they make comments about weight or how they didn't think you'd eat such healthy food, my tactic would be to look straight at them and ask "What do you mean?" then keep staring blankly at them.  It puts them right on the spot.