Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => All In A Day's Work => Topic started by: BeagleMommy on September 24, 2012, 08:38:47 AM

Title: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: BeagleMommy on September 24, 2012, 08:38:47 AM
The office where I work has a business/casual dress code.  Typically khakis and blouses/shirts and flat shoes.  I've never been comfortable dressing this way in an office setting.  For the past two years I have tried the business/casual attire and usually end up checking myself and fidgeting all over the place.  Therefore, I've decided to buck the trend and dress how I feel most comfortable.

This month I started dressing more like myself in skirts, dresses, some pants, pretty blouses and heels (not stilettos, just heels).  As a result, I feel prettier and more confident.  I like to describe my look as corporate with a slight edge.

I've been getting a lot of compliments about how I dress.  Last week I wore a gray tweed shift dress along with black leather over-the-knee boots.  One of my office mates gave me a compliment just as Annoying Coworker walked by (honestly, her timing is impeccable).  Her comment was "Yeah, BeagleMommy, you've been dressing more (loooooong pause) interesting."  The tone of voice she used was quite condescending.

My response "Thanks.  That's what I was going for."  Thank you ehell!
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: cicero on September 24, 2012, 08:44:12 AM
she's a jealous doofus. your out fit sounds lovely!
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: AustenFan on September 24, 2012, 09:05:21 AM
She does sound like a doofus, and probably feels like there is a subtle criticism of how she's dressing in your choice of nicer clothes but can't put her finger on what annoys her about it.

I'm like you and lean more toward the business side of business casual, and get the occasional snarky comment. Or when the girls are doing their annoying "let's find something to compliment about eachother on work time" and I get left out when I know I look rockin'. Interestingly, one of the ladies most guilty of this started asking me where I get my blouses, jackets and boots and started showing up in very similar stuff.  >:D
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: TurtleDove on September 24, 2012, 09:35:36 AM
Good response. As an aside, good for you!  I know I "act" a bit differently when I feel confident in what I am wearing, and I enjoy my day just a bit more too.  Even just wearing a nice perfume can help turn a blah day into a better one. Your outfits sound lovely!
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Twik on September 24, 2012, 09:40:25 AM
It amuses me, in a sad way, how when offices or groups embrace informality, it is usually offered up as proof that the group is "all about freedom of choice". Yes, until you choose not to dress informally. It soon becomes apparent that the unspoken rule was not "dress as you please," it was "dress informally, like we told you".
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: siamesecat2965 on September 24, 2012, 10:24:26 AM
Good for you!  My office is business casual, and some people here take that very literally, almost to the point of sloppy, and others dress very nicely, much better than a lot of folks.  I'm in the middle; some days Khakis and a nice top and flats work well, other days I dress up abit. And the only comments I've ever gotten are postive!
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Thipu1 on September 24, 2012, 10:26:18 AM
As long as it isn't in poor taste, you can wear what you want to the office.  Your outfit certainly doesn't sound in poor taste. 

Many people find that dressing in a more professional manner helps them think and act in a more professional manner.  There's nothing wrong with that.  Mr. Thipu assumed a different look and attitude when he put on his Monday morning 'corporate armor' after spending the weekend in what we called his 'going to buy a cow' outfit. 

Ignore the doofus.  Nobody needs to dress like a clone. 
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Redneck Gravy on September 24, 2012, 02:12:52 PM
Good response!

I work in a one girl office for several independent contractors and dress casually also.  Anytime I show up in anything slightly nicer someone will ask if I am going to a funeral (which I usually am).  There's no good response for that except to give the time I will be gone. 

You would think after this has happened several times they would stop asking in that way...

 
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: lilfox on September 24, 2012, 02:40:51 PM
Her comment was "Yeah, BeagleMommy, you've been dressing more (loooooong pause) interesting."  The tone of voice she used was quite condescending.

My response "Thanks.  That's what I was going for."  Thank you ehell!

Love it!  I hope you gave her a big smile too.

FWIW, I just moved from an office location where the majority of (male) engineers dress like it's casual Friday every day.  Which is fine, and I like the option to wear jeans whenever I feel like it.  However, I also have some more formal work stuff that I want to get more use out of.  Now that I'm in an office location where there are more women, I notice they dress up and I feel like I can wear my nicer work stuff without people asking when my interview is.   :P
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: blue2000 on September 24, 2012, 07:04:32 PM
It amuses me, in a sad way, how when offices or groups embrace informality, it is usually offered up as proof that the group is "all about freedom of choice". Yes, until you choose not to dress informally. It soon becomes apparent that the unspoken rule was not "dress as you please," it was "dress informally, like we told you".

This. So much. <sigh>

I get the "You can dress any way you like! Except that way. Or that way. Or... why don't you just dress like us?"

Maybe because I don't like your clothes??
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Klein Bottle on September 24, 2012, 07:44:46 PM
Your response was great and that outfit sounds wonderful.    ;D
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: onikenbai on September 24, 2012, 07:58:35 PM
I am also the office oddball.  Not more fancy or less fancy, just different.  These are my new shoes and I will totally wear these to the office once I'm finished my drilling gig:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526 (http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526)

Work your weird.  People will remember you for being different and that is not always a bad thing.  Your co-worker is probably just jealous that she doesn't look as put together as you do.

I so very much want black over the knee boots but chunky calves make it not likely to happen.  :'(  Even getting knee highs is proving to be a challenge.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Julian on September 25, 2012, 12:55:42 AM
I am also the office oddball.  Not more fancy or less fancy, just different.  These are my new shoes and I will totally wear these to the office once I'm finished my drilling gig:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526 (http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526)

Work your weird.  People will remember you for being different and that is not always a bad thing.  Your co-worker is probably just jealous that she doesn't look as put together as you do.

I so very much want black over the knee boots but chunky calves make it not likely to happen.  :'(  Even getting knee highs is proving to be a challenge.

Those boots are awesome with sole!

http://www.bennettsboots.com/ (http://www.bennettsboots.com/)  This is an Australian company that makes wide calf boots.  I've got three pairs and have worn them to death.  Love, love, love them.  If you're not in Aus, I think they do ship overseas. 
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Ceallach on September 25, 2012, 01:00:08 AM
I think it's not unusual for people to react when they notice a sudden change in a person's attire, but it's a shame she couldn't come up with a more complimentary phrase if she was going to say anything.   It would irritate me too and I think your response was perfect.

I love business casual because it takes the pressure off, but I am also somebody who - most of the time - likes to put some extra effort in and buck the trend.    In my case I actually prefer to have quite separate "work clothes" versus "personal clothes" in my wardrobe, so it makes sense to me have them separate.   And if I'm having separate work clothes I may as well have ones that are useful for any occasion!  (e.g. corporate or casual).  But I really love that if I do have one of *those* days and roll out of bed stressed to my eyeballs, I can throw on nearly anything in sight and not have to worry!   ;D   
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on September 25, 2012, 05:53:26 AM
It amuses me, in a sad way, how when offices or groups embrace informality, it is usually offered up as proof that the group is "all about freedom of choice". Yes, until you choose not to dress informally. It soon becomes apparent that the unspoken rule was not "dress as you please," it was "dress informally, like we told you".

I used to work in a dr's office where the unofficial dress code was scrubs. You didn't have to but everyone did.   One day I got home to find that some pretty skirts had come in the mail and I decided I wanted to wear one the next day.  It was an emerald green broomstick skirt I wore with a light pink top.  I got compliments from most, though a couple asked "Why aren't you wearing scrubs? We wear scrubs!!"
"But it's not the official dress code, so what's the harm in doing something a little different now and then?" They didn't have an answer for that.  I did go back to the scrubs the next day, but it was nice to do something a little different. :)
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Syfygeek on September 25, 2012, 07:16:07 AM
I am also the office oddball.  Not more fancy or less fancy, just different.  These are my new shoes and I will totally wear these to the office once I'm finished my drilling gig:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526 (http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526)

Work your weird.  People will remember you for being different and that is not always a bad thing.  Your co-worker is probably just jealous that she doesn't look as put together as you do.

I so very much want black over the knee boots but chunky calves make it not likely to happen.  :'(  Even getting knee highs is proving to be a challenge.

Torrid.com has some great boots. I have really wide calves, and bought a pair of tan over the knee last year, and pair of black ones this year. I have the black ones on today, with a wrap dress and feel rather sassy!

Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Auntie Mame on September 26, 2012, 11:11:50 AM
Same here!  I work in a very casual office, but I don't own casual clothes.  I'm not comfortable in them and they aren't flattering on me.  Like you I dress in skirts, heels, blouses, dresses etc...  My boss actually pulled me aside and told me I could dress down if I wanted to.  I laughed and said I would have to buy a whole new wardrobe.  He complimented me on my style and told me to dress anyway I wanted.  I asked about tutu's, he said don't push it.

You handled annoying coworker perfectly.  She wanted you to take the bait and get defensive, instead you turned it into a compliment.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: BeagleMommy on September 26, 2012, 02:21:52 PM
Thanks, all!  Today I'm wearing a pinstriped suit and rocking it with fuschia heels.  She's been giving me dirty looks all day.  >:D
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Judah on September 26, 2012, 02:41:49 PM
Thanks, all!  Today I'm wearing a pinstriped suit and rocking it with fuschia heels.  She's been giving me dirty looks all day.  >:D

Someone has issues.  ::)
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Auntie Mame on September 26, 2012, 02:49:40 PM
Thanks, all!  Today I'm wearing a pinstriped suit and rocking it with fuschia heels.  She's been giving me dirty looks all day.  >:D

BF teases me when we watch Mad Men together becuase I always drool and/or sigh longingly at the clothes.  I long for the days of hats, matching shoes and handbags, small white gloves, costume jewelry and beautiful dresses and suits.  Sigh.  I want to keep all the equality women have fought for and just bring back the fashion.   Mmmmmm...vintage hats...
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: BeagleMommy on September 26, 2012, 02:52:46 PM
Thanks, all!  Today I'm wearing a pinstriped suit and rocking it with fuschia heels.  She's been giving me dirty looks all day.  >:D

BF teases me when we watch Mad Men together becuase I always drool and/or sigh longingly at the clothes.  I long for the days of hats, matching shoes and handbags, small white gloves, costume jewelry and beautiful dresses and suits.  Sigh.  I want to keep all the equality women have fought for and just bring back the fashion.   Mmmmmm...vintage hats...

Auntie Mame are you my long lost sister?  My mother says I was born in the wrong decade because I love the Mad Men look.  I just bought a beautiful brown felt cloche that will be perfect for fall!
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Auntie Mame on September 27, 2012, 12:52:19 PM
Haha!  Mayhap!  I can consider having only 6 pairs of heels and 10 hats to be "running low"  ;D
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: It's good to be Queen on September 27, 2012, 01:36:53 PM
My office is business casual - leaning towards the casual.  No jeans, but pretty much anything else is OK.  My boss wears a suit about 80% of the time (and the rest of the time, he still wears a sportscoat).  I noticed and started to upgrade my wardrobe, mostly skirts and blouses, not suits,  and for winter I plan to go with dress slacks with a sweater set or blouse and jacket.  Since I have been dressing like that, I noticed he has been treating me with more respect and offering me better assignments.  Part of it may be that I think I act more professionally when I am "dressed up" but I also think, in his opinion, my more professional style puts me a step above my coworkers.  Some of my coworkers have commented (unflatteringly) on my new style, but I just smile and keep going.  I can wear what I wish to "dress for success"!
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: snugasabug on September 28, 2012, 06:54:03 AM
Jealous......jealous.....   ;)
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Hollanda on September 28, 2012, 07:24:32 AM
The office where I work has a business/casual dress code.  Typically khakis and blouses/shirts and flat shoes.  I've never been comfortable dressing this way in an office setting.  For the past two years I have tried the business/casual attire and usually end up checking myself and fidgeting all over the place.  Therefore, I've decided to buck the trend and dress how I feel most comfortable.

This month I started dressing more like myself in skirts, dresses, some pants, pretty blouses and heels (not stilettos, just heels).  As a result, I feel prettier and more confident.  I like to describe my look as corporate with a slight edge.

I've been getting a lot of compliments about how I dress.  Last week I wore a gray tweed shift dress along with black leather over-the-knee boots.  One of my office mates gave me a compliment just as Annoying Coworker walked by (honestly, her timing is impeccable).  Her comment was "Yeah, BeagleMommy, you've been dressing more (loooooong pause) interesting."  The tone of voice she used was quite condescending.

My response "Thanks.  That's what I was going for."  Thank you ehell!

Ah. Trying to get a rise out of someone else to cover one's own insecurity. Nicely handled, BeagleMommy!!!  8) 
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: lkb on September 28, 2012, 12:49:06 PM
Hmmm, well....

While I think the OP's comment was fine, I'm thinking the co-worker may have had a point about the outfit in the original post.
"Over the knee boots" calls this to mind http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100405/. A grey tweed shift dress sounds fine (I'd love one for myself) but wouldn't it have to be fairly short to show off the over-the-knee-ness of the boots? If so, then I too question the appropriateness of the outfit.

Perhaps I misunderstood. Also I suppose it depends on the workplace.

In general, I do agree with the OP and other posters that skirts, dresses, dress pants, pretty blouses and reasonable heels make me feel prettier and more confident than the typical khaki/polo shirt business casual look.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Yvaine on September 28, 2012, 01:18:22 PM
Hmmm, well....

While I think the OP's comment was fine, I'm thinking the co-worker may have had a point about the outfit in the original post.
"Over the knee boots" calls this to mind http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100405/. A grey tweed shift dress sounds fine (I'd love one for myself) but wouldn't it have to be fairly short to show off the over-the-knee-ness of the boots? If so, then I too question the appropriateness of the outfit.

Perhaps I misunderstood. Also I suppose it depends on the workplace.

In general, I do agree with the OP and other posters that skirts, dresses, dress pants, pretty blouses and reasonable heels make me feel prettier and more confident than the typical khaki/polo shirt business casual look.

Well, it doesn't say anywhere that the co-irker could see the top of the boots. And, too, you can pretty much guess they're over the knee if the skirt comes to the knees (a perfectly appropriate length in almost every office) and the boots are still going.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Judah on September 28, 2012, 01:46:53 PM
Hmmm, well....

While I think the OP's comment was fine, I'm thinking the co-worker may have had a point about the outfit in the original post.
"Over the knee boots" calls this to mind http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100405/. A grey tweed shift dress sounds fine (I'd love one for myself) but wouldn't it have to be fairly short to show off the over-the-knee-ness of the boots? If so, then I too question the appropriateness of the outfit.

Perhaps I misunderstood. Also I suppose it depends on the workplace.

In general, I do agree with the OP and other posters that skirts, dresses, dress pants, pretty blouses and reasonable heels make me feel prettier and more confident than the typical khaki/polo shirt business casual look.

As you can see here http://fabulouspastanotincluded.blogspot.com/2010/12/over-knee-knockout.html, there are plenty of over-the-knee boot styles that would be fine in most casual offices.  And the dress wouldn't have to be short at all.  To the knee would show the boots off  while still being modest enough for the office. 
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: auntmeegs on September 28, 2012, 02:13:27 PM
Hmmm, well....

While I think the OP's comment was fine, I'm thinking the co-worker may have had a point about the outfit in the original post.
"Over the knee boots" calls this to mind http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100405/. A grey tweed shift dress sounds fine (I'd love one for myself) but wouldn't it have to be fairly short to show off the over-the-knee-ness of the boots? If so, then I too question the appropriateness of the outfit.

Perhaps I misunderstood. Also I suppose it depends on the workplace.

In general, I do agree with the OP and other posters that skirts, dresses, dress pants, pretty blouses and reasonable heels make me feel prettier and more confident than the typical khaki/polo shirt business casual look.

As you can see here http://fabulouspastanotincluded.blogspot.com/2010/12/over-knee-knockout.html, there are plenty of over-the-knee boot styles that would be fine in most casual offices.  And the dress wouldn't have to be short at all.  To the knee would show the boots off  while still being modest enough for the office.

Ha!!  I have that very pair of Guess boots in the first picture!  And yes, they are totally appropriate for the office. 
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Auntie Mame on September 28, 2012, 03:19:39 PM
I have a few pairs of over the knee boots that I wear to my office with skirts.  Doesn't make me a hooker.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: lkb on September 28, 2012, 05:04:12 PM
Did some googling on the subject and there does seem to be some debate on whether over the knee boots are apprpriate for the workplace. I would assume several factors come into play:
The type of business and the job
The clientele
The clothes worn with the boots. Other site said a sheath would be fine but watch the length  (also avoid looking like a pirate  ;).
They also said suede is more appropriate than leather.

It could be a generational thing. I'm pushing 50 and I wouldn't consider them appropriate
and frankly the wrong kind of professional garb (I could change my mind on seeing the actual outfit on someone.) Maybe younger people don't have the Julia Roberts bias.

To keep with the movie theme (because we all know life is exactly like the movies, right?  ::), there's a line from the movie, "The Devil Wears Prada" in which Andie Sachs (Anne Hathaway) says something like: "I don't need to change. Miranda (Priestly -- played by Meryl Streep) hired me. She knows what I look like."
Nigel (Stanley Tucci): "Do you?"

It took some doing but I can picture a grey tweed sheath with leather over-the-knee boots looking good. That is, when the person is standing up. Somehow I just can't picture it looking right when the person is sitting (cross-legged or not), bending over, kneeling down (to pick up a pencil etc.), reaching up. Perhaps the co-irker sees something, the wearer doesn't.

One last movie reference: "Working Girl" when Sigourney Weaver's character first hires Melanie Griffith's. She says something about professional, classic attire. Melanie Griffith (in full 80's poufy hair and skads of necklaces etc. -- like Madonna in her heyday) says, "How's this?" Sigourney Weaver says she's fine, "...but I'd rethink the jewelry." Perhaps, just perhaps, that's what the co-irker was trying to say. Or, she could be a shrew, granted.

ETA: To add a comment that I thought to add after I posted this. Sorry.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: *inviteseller on September 28, 2012, 06:48:10 PM
This is my first post (long time lurker) but I had to reply.  I recently left my job of 13 years (so many many reasons) but one of the things that was constant was my bosses constant comment on my clothes.  It is an upscale retail place and we all dressed nicely but she hated everything I wore.  Why?  Because I did not dress like her.  She wore long skirts and casual but dressy tops all the time.  She expected me (but only me) to also wear her type of clothing every day.  First off, she drove to work where I took a 45 minute bus ride in all sorts of weather, so when it was 15 degrees, I am wearing dress pants and a sweater.  Also, for my part of work, i had to do crawl into the display windows, run around doing deliveries, ect so dress pants made more sense.  And then there was the issues of just not that it wasn't skirts or dresses but she would tell me what styles I had to wear.  I am not a young girl and do not dress provocatively, but I am also small and the junior department is wear I had to shop and that bothered her that I was not dressed as matronly as her older, taller, heavier self did.  I went to work clean, comfortable and presentable.  If that outfit and others make you feel good about yourself (and as a fan of boots that sounds like a great outfit!) I say ignore your co-irker and continue to dress the way you feel comfortable. :)
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: QuiltLady on September 29, 2012, 10:17:37 AM
Good for you!   :D  :D  :D

My company changed to casual from business casual back in January.  I could wear jeans and a t-shirt every day if I wanted to and most of the 500 employees seem to.  I'm just not that into jeans and I much prefer a casual dress or a long skirt, even when I'm at home.  In the winter my favorite outfit is a dress, warm tights, and boots.  I wear my hair in pretty styles, various buns and braids with clips, pins, or hairsticks since my hair is as long as the bottom of my behind. 

It makes me feel good too and I totally understand.  Ignore the comment, as you did.  It's not your problem what other people think.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Jocelyn on September 29, 2012, 11:33:20 AM
I am also the office oddball.  Not more fancy or less fancy, just different.  These are my new shoes and I will totally wear these to the office once I'm finished my drilling gig:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526 (http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526)

Work your weird.  People will remember you for being different and that is not always a bad thing.  Your co-worker is probably just jealous that she doesn't look as put together as you do.

I so very much want black over the knee boots but chunky calves make it not likely to happen.  :'(  Even getting knee highs is proving to be a challenge.

Those boots are awesome with sole!

http://www.bennettsboots.com/ (http://www.bennettsboots.com/)  This is an Australian company that makes wide calf boots.  I've got three pairs and have worn them to death.  Love, love, love them.  If you're not in Aus, I think they do ship overseas.
Catalogs that cater to larger sizes, like Roamans or Lane Bryant, often have wide-calf boots, too. Unfortunately, I come from a family that has large calves, so even if I were skinny I'd probably need wide-calf boots. Since I'm not skinny, it means I'd have to have boots entirely custom-made, and I can't afford that.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Minmom3 on September 29, 2012, 03:32:01 PM
This is my first post (long time lurker) but I had to reply.  I recently left my job of 13 years (so many many reasons) but one of the things that was constant was my bosses constant comment on my clothes.  It is an upscale retail place and we all dressed nicely but she hated everything I wore.  Why?  Because I did not dress like her.  She wore long skirts and casual but dressy tops all the time.  She expected me (but only me) to also wear her type of clothing every day.  First off, she drove to work where I took a 45 minute bus ride in all sorts of weather, so when it was 15 degrees, I am wearing dress pants and a sweater.  Also, for my part of work, i had to do crawl into the display windows, run around doing deliveries, ect so dress pants made more sense.  And then there was the issues of just not that it wasn't skirts or dresses but she would tell me what styles I had to wear.  I am not a young girl and do not dress provocatively, but I am also small and the junior department is wear I had to shop and that bothered her that I was not dressed as matronly as her older, taller, heavier self did.  I went to work clean, comfortable and presentable.  If that outfit and others make you feel good about yourself (and as a fan of boots that sounds like a great outfit!) I say ignore your co-irker and continue to dress the way you feel comfortable. :)

Junior is both sizing and style.  If you're a small person, petite is something you might want to look in to.  Size-wise, it's shorter vertical lengths between shoulder-breast, breast-waist/hip, and waist/hip to crotch (pants) and waist/hip-knees. I've seen many different styles in petite, it doesn't have to be matronly.  Of course, if you HAD to shop at the store you worked in, and it didn't HAVE petite, then you're stuck with only juniors...  I'm just trying to make the point that one is not limited across the board to misses vs. juniors.  I could wear juniors into my mid-twenties.  After that, it just didn't fit correctly on me.  I've NEVER been petite, even though I've seen size 18P in stores.  I've known people of all ages who could wear juniors and have them fit nicely.  It really does depend on a lot more than JUST your circumference.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: PastryGoddess on September 29, 2012, 11:28:57 PM
I am also the office oddball.  Not more fancy or less fancy, just different.  These are my new shoes and I will totally wear these to the office once I'm finished my drilling gig:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526 (http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526)

Work your weird.  People will remember you for being different and that is not always a bad thing.  Your co-worker is probably just jealous that she doesn't look as put together as you do.

I so very much want black over the knee boots but chunky calves make it not likely to happen.  :'(  Even getting knee highs is proving to be a challenge.

Try ones with scrunchy ruching (sp) on the calf.  I hav a pair and My friend who also has large calves went out and got herself a pair after borrowing mine for a week.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: LadyClaire on October 01, 2012, 07:10:32 AM
I think knee boots are fine. In my office they'd be considered perfectly acceptable, as long as you're not wearing a super-short dress.

My fall/winter work wardrobe is boots, tights, and dresses or a skirt/sweater. Slacks fit me oddly thanks to my waist being 2 sizes smaller than my hips, so I have maybe one pair of work-appropriate slacks. It's just easier to wear dresses and skirts, and the tights/boots help keep me from freezing. Not that dress slacks are much warmer, really. Most of them are thin and the cold and the wind cut right through them, unless you go for lined wool ones, and then you've got the hassle and expense of getting them dry cleaned.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Kari on October 01, 2012, 07:56:39 AM
I had this problem with a coworker of mine (older man with a rep for being rude towards women). After politely dodging a few snarky comments about my jacket or boots because they were disguised as light-hearted jokes, he finally, undeniably, crossed the line. He approached my desk to ask me a favor, but this came out first: "What's wrong with your hair?" No "hello." No "excuse me." Not even a "your hair looks different." I had recently got chunky red highlights in my dark blonde hair. I loved it; it was a bold move for my normally blah hair, and I got lots of compliments on it, even from strangers.

Well, I stood up from my desk, and without a word I walked around Mr. Rude and went to attend to some photocopying that was "suddenly" necessary. When I returned to my desk, Mr. Rude was still there with his mouth hanging open. I smiled sweetly, "Yes, was there something else you needed to say?" He stammered a bit, collected himself, and finally asked his favor. That was a few years ago, and he's never said anything rude to me since.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Auntie Mame on October 01, 2012, 10:27:57 AM
I'm still amused that a pair of over the knee suede boots and a tasteful knee length skirt makes me a street walker.  If that's the case, then I am doing doing work way out of my job description.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: BeagleMommy on October 01, 2012, 11:05:03 AM
Did some googling on the subject and there does seem to be some debate on whether over the knee boots are apprpriate for the workplace. I would assume several factors come into play:
The type of business and the job
The clientele
The clothes worn with the boots. Other site said a sheath would be fine but watch the length  (also avoid looking like a pirate  ;).
They also said suede is more appropriate than leather.

It could be a generational thing. I'm pushing 50 and I wouldn't consider them appropriate
and frankly the wrong kind of professional garb (I could change my mind on seeing the actual outfit on someone.) Maybe younger people don't have the Julia Roberts bias.

To keep with the movie theme (because we all know life is exactly like the movies, right?  ::), there's a line from the movie, "The Devil Wears Prada" in which Andie Sachs (Anne Hathaway) says something like: "I don't need to change. Miranda (Priestly -- played by Meryl Streep) hired me. She knows what I look like."
Nigel (Stanley Tucci): "Do you?"

It took some doing but I can picture a grey tweed sheath with leather over-the-knee boots looking good. That is, when the person is standing up. Somehow I just can't picture it looking right when the person is sitting (cross-legged or not), bending over, kneeling down (to pick up a pencil etc.), reaching up. Perhaps the co-irker sees something, the wearer doesn't.

One last movie reference: "Working Girl" when Sigourney Weaver's character first hires Melanie Griffith's. She says something about professional, classic attire. Melanie Griffith (in full 80's poufy hair and skads of necklaces etc. -- like Madonna in her heyday) says, "How's this?" Sigourney Weaver says she's fine, "...but I'd rethink the jewelry." Perhaps, just perhaps, that's what the co-irker was trying to say. Or, she could be a shrew, granted.

ETA: To add a comment that I thought to add after I posted this. Sorry.

Just to clarify, the dress and boots left only 1/4 inch of skin showing when I sat and I also was wearing stockings so nothing was exposed.  They also aren't shiny, patent leather.  I'm also approaching 50, but my style of work dress has always been corporate with a slight edge and very age appropriate.  In previous posts I've mentioned how Annoying Coworker has seemed to target me for my individuality.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: lkb on October 01, 2012, 12:46:29 PM
Thanks for clarifying. I do understand. I just wanted those in such situations to be absolutely sure that the co-worker's comments--while rude-- didn't have a grain of truth in theme. Clothes do make the man, er, person. I also asked my husband what thought. He said over-the-knee boots were not appropriate and said they do convey an image of the so-called oldest profession.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Yvaine on October 01, 2012, 12:48:05 PM
Thanks for clarifying. I do understand. I just wanted those in such situations to be absolutely sure that the co-worker's comments--while rude-- didn't have a grain of truth in theme. Clothes do make the man, er, person. I also asked my husband what thought. He said over-the-knee boots were not appropriate and said they do convey an image of the so-called oldest profession.

I think this is getting a little bit excessive and inconsiderate toward ehellions in this thread who have come out and said they are wearing them right now.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: TurtleDove on October 01, 2012, 01:18:19 PM
I don't think you can make categorical statements about over the knee boots or any other article of clothing.  The same article of clothing might look lovely on one body type and wildly inappropriate on another, for example.  So much depends on fit and figure.  Certainly some over the knee boots are not appropriate for work.  Some are, depending on office environment.

Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Yvaine on October 01, 2012, 01:23:33 PM
I don't think you can make categorical statements about over the knee boots or any other article of clothing.  The same article of clothing might look lovely on one body type and wildly inappropriate on another, for example.  So much depends on fit and figure.  Certainly some over the knee boots are not appropriate for work.  Some are, depending on office environment.

I would disagree on body type for the most part, butI would agree on fit--I don't believe it's fair to declare an article of clothing inappropriate for one body type and not another, as long as the person is wearing the appropriate size.

i.e. it wouldn't be inappropriate for a size 20 woman to wear a size 20 knee-length skirt in an office, but it would be inappropriate for her to be stuffed into a size 12 skirt in the same style...but then it would be just as inappropriate for a size 6 woman to be stuffed into a 0 at the office.

ETA: And I would also agree that there are styles of OTK boot that would be inappropriate for most offices, just as there are styles of pump that would be inappropriate, styles of skirt, etc. But there are a lot of styles of these boots that would be fine in many workplaces.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: cass2591 on October 01, 2012, 05:19:06 PM
Thanks for clarifying. I do understand. I just wanted those in such situations to be absolutely sure that the co-worker's comments--while rude-- didn't have a grain of truth in theme. Clothes do make the man, er, person. I also asked my husband what thought. He said over-the-knee boots were not appropriate and said they do convey an image of the so-called oldest profession.

Well, a lot of people disagree with your husband.

I think it's best to leave the topic of prostitutes' sartorial splendor for another forum. Thank you.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Sterling on October 01, 2012, 10:33:45 PM
I work at a college and my winter staple is a pair of tall over the knee black boots that have a 2 inch wedge heel.  I wear them with all sorts of dresses and I don't think they look out of place at all.  I personally wouldn't respond to the coworker.  Just a frosty look.

Edit to add:
Also for those who were not graced with pencil thin legs find a good shoe repair place or cobbler shop.  At 110lbs I still couldn't wear most tall boots.  I finally went into the shoe repair place an asked what could be done to increase the calf width of a pair of boots.  Turns out for $12 they can add leather to either side of the original zipper and for about $8 they can do elastic that matches the boot color.  The boots have to be zip up kind but it is a cheap easy fix for boots.  I buy my boots on sale during the early summer and have them expanded.  I love them.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: CaptainObvious on October 02, 2012, 12:48:07 AM
Thanks for clarifying. I do understand. I just wanted those in such situations to be absolutely sure that the co-worker's comments--while rude-- didn't have a grain of truth in theme. Clothes do make the man, er, person. I also asked my husband what thought. He said over-the-knee boots were not appropriate and said they do convey an image of the so-called oldest profession.

Well I asked my husband and he said your husband is wrong
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: poundcake on October 02, 2012, 03:47:23 AM
I don't think you can make categorical statements about over the knee boots or any other article of clothing.  The same article of clothing might look lovely on one body type and wildly inappropriate on another, for example.  So much depends on fit and figure.  Certainly some over the knee boots are not appropriate for work.  Some are, depending on office environment.

It also depends on how creative or business-oriented your field is. Certain articles of clothing or combinations can work well in a publishing house, but would look wild and inappropriate in a law office, and vice versus.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: lkb on October 02, 2012, 04:50:26 AM
I most humbly apologize. I certainly did not mean my comments to insult anyone and I am sorry they came out as they did.
While there is obviously much disagreement as to the appropriateness of the boots in question, I meant to refer to the image they convey to some people, NOT to the character/profession of the wearer themselves.

I am very sorry. Please forgive me.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: LadyL on October 02, 2012, 07:59:55 AM
I most humbly apologize. I certainly did not mean my comments to insult anyone and I am sorry they came out as they did.
While there is obviously much disagreement as to the appropriateness of the boots in question, I meant to refer to the image they convey to some people, NOT to the character/profession of the wearer themselves.

I am very sorry. Please forgive me.

I appreciate your reflecting on the matter but I'm not sure that you understand the problem entirely. When critiquing what someone is wearing I can't really ever think of a time when allusions to prostitution are the best way to go. Talking about formal vs. informal or maybe calling a style of clothes "club wear" is fine but there is just no need to make the implication that anyone is advertising their body for sale because they are wearing something a bit more revealing or suggestive than what you are comfortable with. It strikes me as an inappropriately moralistic stance for something that is an issue of etiquette/dress code. Also re "image vs. character or profession" - I don't think "those boots remind me of what a prostitute would wear" is really much better than "you look like a prostitute" or "you're a prostitute." I don't mean to browbeat - I believe you that you are sorry but I want to underscore some distinctions about how to politely and respectfully discuss appropriate vs. inappropriate dress.

Back to the issue at hand - the over the knee boots that are in fashion these days (such as the ones someone posted a link for) strike me as a far cry from the patent leather spike heel iteration that would indeed not be work appropriate. Also there is the issue that when something is on the pages of every fashion magazine it makes it generally more socially acceptable to wear than if it weren't (think leg warmers). Now, with fishnet tights and a mini skirt, yes over the knee boots would still conjure up an image too provocative and club wear like for work - but over dark opaque tights or leggings with something like a sweater dress, or shift dress as described? In a more casual office I'd call it fashion forward but not inappropriate.

Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: bopper on October 02, 2012, 10:11:20 AM
.  In previous posts I've mentioned how Annoying Coworker has seemed to target me for my individuality.

It's called "Tall Poppy Syndrome"...in some cultures people tend to not want anyone else to stand out..as if a person stands out, they are better, and therefore better than the rest and that can't happen.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Eeep! on October 09, 2012, 05:23:03 PM
I guess I'm going to play a bit of devil's advocate here.  I am not entirely sure that I agree that it is always OK to dress how you want as long as it is more "formal".  I kind of feel that places have an office culture and, to a certain extent, that needs to be respected.  Now I'm not saying that everyone must wear khakis if that is the general office "uniform". I myself am terribly uncomfortable in them. Same with golf type collared shirts. However, it seems like there is kind of a scale of dressing that you should fit into.  Like a few steps up the "business formality" ladder should be totally fine.  But if everyone is wearing khakis and polo shirts and one wears a full business suit, I feel like that divide might be too much.  While I don't at all think that OP is being pretentious or wanting attention or looking down on the other employees, I just don't think it should be that shocking that someone might interpret it in that matter.

But the OP's situation might not be that wide of a difference in dressing so my musings may not even be relevant.  And I do agree that in this particular instance, it does seem like a bit of sour grapes on the part of the commenting coworker.  I just thought I would throw this out there, knowing full well that I could be completely wrong. Heh.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: joraemi on October 15, 2012, 01:43:58 PM
I love boots and a skirt/dress!  I don't have the bod to wear it though - so you keep wearing yours and I'll live vicariously through you!!
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: nayberry on October 15, 2012, 03:04:17 PM
I am also the office oddball.  Not more fancy or less fancy, just different.  These are my new shoes and I will totally wear these to the office once I'm finished my drilling gig:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526 (http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526)

Work your weird.  People will remember you for being different and that is not always a bad thing.  Your co-worker is probably just jealous that she doesn't look as put together as you do.

I so very much want black over the knee boots but chunky calves make it not likely to happen.  :'(  Even getting knee highs is proving to be a challenge.

off topic  - darn that site made it's way into my favourites!!!!

i've worked in a wide variety of jobs, some formal, some uniformed and some casual to an extreme (50+ man with a beer belly in SHORT denim cutoffs! no wonder we lost casual fridays  ::) !)  the only thing they had ion common was that someone always commented about something, didn;t matter what, might have hair up instead of down, there they'd go!  nowadays (at least once i get another job) i just let it roll off me


Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: happygrrl on October 16, 2012, 07:18:19 AM
Mr. Thipu assumed a different look and attitude when he put on his Monday morning 'corporate armor' after spending the weekend in what we called his 'going to buy a cow' outfit

Completely OT, but I am so stealing this! LOL!!
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Minmom3 on October 16, 2012, 12:51:20 PM
Mr. Thipu assumed a different look and attitude when he put on his Monday morning 'corporate armor' after spending the weekend in what we called his 'going to buy a cow' outfit

Completely OT, but I am so stealing this! LOL!!

 ;D  That is  FINE turn of phrase!  Fine!  Beautiful. 

I wear scrubs at work, and I no longer fit most of my old 'nice office' clothes, darn it all!  Wearing scrubs just means I get to choose what goes under it, because there MUST  be something under in case I get covered in glop and need to change to a spare whatever...  As others here have said, there is an office culture that determines what is acceptable to wear, uniform look or not. 

I've worked in office casual, office 'nicer', and for a short time, office Really Quite Spiffy garb.  Within every range, there's the conservative take on it, and the edgier-and-not-so-conservative take on it, ALL while keeping within the office range of OK.   So, what people can wear is enormously variable, and somebody at the conservative end of things possibly isn't going to be happy with the, say, younger-and-much-trimmer-body and edgier end of things.  That doesn't mean that both aren't acceptable to the Powers That Be.  That may mean that the conservative person needs to suck it up and shut up...  Office clothing policy probably also wants most people to NOT comment on others clothes, because it's not professional behavior, and can really tank morale fast.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Lauren on October 21, 2012, 07:41:09 AM
Quote
I guess I'm going to play a bit of devil's advocate here.  I am not entirely sure that I agree that it is always OK to dress how you want as long as it is more "formal".  I kind of feel that places have an office culture and, to a certain extent, that needs to be respected.  Now I'm not saying that everyone must wear khakis if that is the general office "uniform". I myself am terribly uncomfortable in them. Same with golf type collared shirts. However, it seems like there is kind of a scale of dressing that you should fit into.  Like a few steps up the "business formality" ladder should be totally fine.  But if everyone is wearing khakis and polo shirts and one wears a full business suit, I feel like that divide might be too much.  While I don't at all think that OP is being pretentious or wanting attention or looking down on the other employees, I just don't think it should be that shocking that someone might interpret it in that matter.

I have to agree with this. There is office dress codes for a reason and you should dress to that office code. If it's office casual, wear office casual. If it's business suits, wear business suits.

Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: PastryGoddess on October 21, 2012, 09:05:14 AM
Quote
I guess I'm going to play a bit of devil's advocate here.  I am not entirely sure that I agree that it is always OK to dress how you want as long as it is more "formal".  I kind of feel that places have an office culture and, to a certain extent, that needs to be respected.  Now I'm not saying that everyone must wear khakis if that is the general office "uniform". I myself am terribly uncomfortable in them. Same with golf type collared shirts. However, it seems like there is kind of a scale of dressing that you should fit into.  Like a few steps up the "business formality" ladder should be totally fine.  But if everyone is wearing khakis and polo shirts and one wears a full business suit, I feel like that divide might be too much.  While I don't at all think that OP is being pretentious or wanting attention or looking down on the other employees, I just don't think it should be that shocking that someone might interpret it in that matter.

I have to agree with this. There is office dress codes for a reason and you should dress to that office code. If it's office casual, wear office casual. If it's business suits, wear business suits.



There is a very wide range of styles when it comes to business casual.  I think we have to trust OP when she says she's not over dressed for her office.  And even if she is, it's none of CW's business.  If her bosses are fine with the way she's dressing, then she's fine.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Fleur on October 21, 2012, 09:30:53 AM
Quote
I guess I'm going to play a bit of devil's advocate here.  I am not entirely sure that I agree that it is always OK to dress how you want as long as it is more "formal".  I kind of feel that places have an office culture and, to a certain extent, that needs to be respected.  Now I'm not saying that everyone must wear khakis if that is the general office "uniform". I myself am terribly uncomfortable in them. Same with golf type collared shirts. However, it seems like there is kind of a scale of dressing that you should fit into.  Like a few steps up the "business formality" ladder should be totally fine.  But if everyone is wearing khakis and polo shirts and one wears a full business suit, I feel like that divide might be too much.  While I don't at all think that OP is being pretentious or wanting attention or looking down on the other employees, I just don't think it should be that shocking that someone might interpret it in that matter.

I have to agree with this. There is office dress codes for a reason and you should dress to that office code. If it's office casual, wear office casual. If it's business suits, wear business suits.



There is a very wide range of styles when it comes to business casual.  I think we have to trust OP when she says she's not over dressed for her office.  And even if she is, it's none of CW's business.  If her bosses are fine with the way she's dressing, then she's fine.

Exactly. OP, your workplace sounds like mine. I feel underdressed when I'm not fairly smartly turned out. I also agree with TurtleDove about size/weight being somewhat relevant, as well. I am overweight (a UK size 14, which I believe is a US 12, which is definitely too large for my height of five three) and in the process of losing weight. I think that it is easier to make dresses and skirts look smart and professional at my size than trousers.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Lauren on October 21, 2012, 11:30:46 PM
Quote
There is a very wide range of styles when it comes to business casual.  I think we have to trust OP when she says she's not over dressed for her office.  And even if she is, it's none of CW's business.  If her bosses are fine with the way she's dressing, then she's fine.

Except the OP herself is admitting she is overdressing for the office.

I do agree with you on that it is none of the CW's business. She is being rude and I do think the OP should say something to her boss about the treatment she is receiving. I do think that the OP needs to take this up further with her bosses.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Lindee on October 22, 2012, 12:41:53 AM
Things have certainly changed for the better. In the late sixties I was on my first Teaching Practice. As a Science teacher I wore a gigantic lab coat buttoned up that came mid calf. As it was the time of the mini skirt and one could not wear trousers I searched around in my wardrobe and that of larger friends to find skirts that were long enough.  One day I wore a very conservative culotte skirt, long enough to reach my knees and you couldn't tell it was a divided skirt unless you were practically doing the splits, should be Ok. Well no, it must have been one of the poisonous Head Mistress's toadies in the staffroom who "told" on me as that was the only time I had undone the buttons on my all enveloping oversize labcoat but I was called into her office, screamed at and was sent back to college in disgrace. Thank goodness the skirts of a much larger friend and safety pins saw me through the rest of the awful time there.
Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: DavidH on October 23, 2012, 01:31:49 PM
I will confess to not being an expert, but as a guy who doesn't know all that much about women's boots, over the knee immediately conjured up an image of shiny, high heeled, and suited for only one profession.  It sounds like the ones the OP wore are a totally different type, which may account for some of the confusion on here.

The rule I've suggested for the office when we hire summer interns is that if it would be too revealing to wear around your grandparents, it's too revealing for the office, and along the same lines, if you're wondering if it's too revealing, it probably is and it's better to err on the side of being too conservative.

All that said, I wouldn't worry about what one person is saying if others are complimenting you on your style.  If you're close to someone in the office and are at all concerned, maybe say to them, was what I wore yesterday okay, I got some mixed comments. That should be enough to suggest to them that you are really asking and willing to hear both positive and negative comments. 

Title: Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
Post by: Annoyed in America on January 05, 2013, 06:56:25 AM
Good response!

I work in a one girl office for several independent contractors and dress casually also.  Anytime I show up in anything slightly nicer someone will ask if I am going to a funeral (which I usually am).  There's no good response for that except to give the time I will be gone. 

You would think after this has happened several times they would stop asking in that way...

 

LOL..Or you could jokingly say "I have a job interview."