Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: Viscountess on October 20, 2012, 08:07:22 PM

Title: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: Viscountess on October 20, 2012, 08:07:22 PM
BG:  I work at a small private school where some of the parents tend to be very competitive with each other when it comes to their children.  End BG.  Two days ago, my coworker (Karen) told us that she's engaged.  Word spread quickly around the school via teachers and students who noticed her ring.  Everyone was really happy for her and parents started congratulating her when they picked up their kids.  Yesterday morning, Karen arrived at work to find 4 resumes her office mailbox.  All of them were resumes that stated how these students would be able to perform efficiently as Karen's flower girl.  The resumes varied from how many times a certain student was a flower girl to very detailed layout on how well a student performed in her flower girl duties.  By that afternoon, two of the mothers who gave a resume began bickering over whose daughter would be the better flower girl.  Karen stepped in, thanked them for their interest and said she wasn't planning on having a flower girl at this time.

Today, Karen texted me that she received 3 more emails from parents expressing interest in their daughters becoming her flower girl.  One even asked if there was an interviewing process.  Karen is at such a loss at what to do and doesn't know how to approach this situation.  Personally, I have never seen resumes for a bridal party position before, and my mind is boggling at these parents' antics.  Any advice for Karen would be most appreciated. 

Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: auntmeegs on October 20, 2012, 08:16:47 PM
CRUD MONKEYS! that hilarious!  A flower girl resume!  Those mothers are insane and rude on top of it.  I think the only thing you friend can do is keep repeating that she is not planning on having a flower girl in her wedding.  Other than that, I don't know.  Can't wait to hear how this one pans out though!
A flower girl resume!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Sharnita on October 20, 2012, 08:17:38 PM
kinda curious, is this private school affiliated with a church and is so will Karen be getting married in the school's church?

I ask because I imagine the following scenario  - Karen (and you teach at St. Sebastian's.  Karen naturally wants to get married at St Sebastian's church because she knows the priest/pastor, attends services there, etc. Not only do parents try to get their kids chosen as flower girl, the try to maneuver them to be acolytes, cantors, etc.  Because church services, even weddings, are frequently open to the congregation they and their kids show up to see the service and maybe make sure there really is no flower girl ...
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: jedikaiti on October 20, 2012, 08:22:22 PM
WHAT???? That is the craziest thing I have heard!

OK, no it's not, but it rates.

Aside from discreetly spreading the word that she will NOT be having a student as a flower girl (or no flower girl at all, whichever she prefers), I'm not really sure what to do here. I've heard of people begging, demanding, or  simply asking to be part of a wedding party - even trying to bully their way in - but I have never heard of submitting a resume as though it were a professional gig!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: MerryCat on October 20, 2012, 08:22:29 PM
That is CRAZY! I mean, I can understand being competitive about preschools. That might theoretically make a difference to a person's success.

But what advantages do the parents think their child will get by being a flower girl to a relative stranger? Are they going to put on their college applications "Flower Girl at more than 7 different weddings before the age of 10?" Do they think their daughters are getting a leg up into the glamorous, cut-throat word of professional bridesmaid-ing? It's a really strange thing to be so intense about, but I guess as long as they're willing to take no for an answer it's okay.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Sharnita on October 20, 2012, 08:25:04 PM
That is CRAZY! I mean, I can understand being competitive about preschools. That might theoretically make a difference to a person's success.

But what advantages do the parents think their child will get by being a flower girl to a relative stranger? Are they going to put on their college applications "Flower Girl at more than 7 different weddings before the age of 10?" Do they think their daughters are getting a leg up into the glamorous, cut-throat word of professional bridesmaid-ing? It's a really strange thing to be so intense about, but I guess as long as they're willing to take no for an answer it's okay.

Maybe they think it will give them a closer relationship with a staff member (or at least the appearance of a closer relationship) and that will somehow help their kid?

ETA:  It sounds like they might like to one up each other as far as social standing and maybe they think they can claim this as a victory>
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: YummyMummy66 on October 20, 2012, 08:44:10 PM
I think Karen will need to have a spine and tell all that send resumes or ask questions that she will not be inviting any of the students to her wedding ceremonies.  She is having a small, family ceremony only.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Viscountess on October 20, 2012, 09:23:42 PM
Quote
kinda curious, is this private school affiliated with a church and is so will Karen be getting married in the school's church?

Nope, the school is not affiliated with the church or any other religion. 
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: SingMeAway on October 20, 2012, 09:47:37 PM
Not presumptuous at all of them to assume she'll want some random student as her flower girl, as opposed to, you know, maybe a family member's or close friend's child  ::).
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: gorplady on October 20, 2012, 09:55:31 PM
What a bunch of trolls! Resumes for flower girls. What will they think of next?

Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Luci on October 20, 2012, 10:02:30 PM
I'm sure she will also have trained (non-pooping) butterflies to be freed after the ceremony in lieu of rice or bubbles.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: buvezdevin on October 20, 2012, 10:03:37 PM
Well, as I have been enjoying the recent thread alluding to curbing one's butterflies, and agree it seems bizarre for parents to promote unrelated students as potential flower girls, I love imagining a response of "the skills we seek in any flower girls we may choose, other than those from family and family friends, are specifically butterfly-wrangling. If your daughter has such skills, or better yet a trained herd of butterflies, please let us know when we may schedule the audition".
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Style_and_Grace on October 20, 2012, 10:29:16 PM
Really... this is just too freaking funny! 

Why not suggest that your friend have a quick chat with the administrators at the school.  First to let them know that she will not be using children from the school in her wedding and second to let them know that the "resumes" are unsolicited. 
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: kareng57 on October 20, 2012, 10:33:13 PM
Head-shake time - what happened to the time-honoured traditions for including child attendants because they've been important in the HC's life??

Even then - sometimes you have to think it over.  Future DIL has a friend who has a 1-year old daughter that she's crazy about.  By the time they get married, she'll be all of 3 years old.  Without being overly pushy, I'm really, really trying to discourage it....
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Iris on October 20, 2012, 10:37:54 PM
Funniest thing *ever*! Thanks for sharing.

Seriously though, it is a bit OTT and slightly bat-poo crazy. I heartily recommend not having a flower girl. Certainly not one connected with the school in any way.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: SPuck on October 20, 2012, 11:01:01 PM
This is strange. I can't imagine getting this involved in a teacher's personal life.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Luci on October 20, 2012, 11:09:31 PM
Head-shake time - what happened to the time-honoured traditions for including child attendants because they've been important in the HC's life??

Even then - sometimes you have to think it over.  Future DIL has a friend who has a 1-year old daughter that she's crazy about.  By the time they get married, she'll be all of 3 years old.  Without being overly pushy, I'm really, really trying to discourage it....

Our son had his twin neices, aged 23 months, as flower girls. They wouldn't carry the baskets because they were 'hot!', well, heavy, but they did walk down the aisle from their dad to me and were absolutely adorable. We took them to the hired babysitter for the ceremony and it all went well for the reception. The pictures are worth every bit of extra effort, and even at 19 the girls are laughing about the experience. One of them has her picture in her Facebook album.

But - these are not just random kids we never see again. If the attendants aren't meaningful, don't have them, I agree.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: HonorH on October 20, 2012, 11:14:42 PM
Yeah, if I were to see any of those mothers, I'd casually slip around the corner and run like EHell. That is purely nuts. Those mothers are nuts. I'd be seriously afraid of having one of their daughters in my class, because anyone who'd do up a "flower girl resume" would undoubtedly be the classroom mom from the infernal regions. Nuts!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: CinnamonGirl on October 20, 2012, 11:38:21 PM
That is CRAZY! I mean, I can understand being competitive about preschools. That might theoretically make a difference to a person's success.

But what advantages do the parents think their child will get by being a flower girl to a relative stranger? Are they going to put on their college applications "Flower Girl at more than 7 different weddings before the age of 10?" Do they think their daughters are getting a leg up into the glamorous, cut-throat word of professional bridesmaid-ing? It's a really strange thing to be so intense about, but I guess as long as they're willing to take no for an answer it's okay.

That was my first thought too.

I'd tell the mothers that only close friends and family are invited.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: kareng57 on October 21, 2012, 12:10:37 AM
Head-shake time - what happened to the time-honoured traditions for including child attendants because they've been important in the HC's life??

Even then - sometimes you have to think it over.  Future DIL has a friend who has a 1-year old daughter that she's crazy about.  By the time they get married, she'll be all of 3 years old.  Without being overly pushy, I'm really, really trying to discourage it....

Our son had his twin neices, aged 23 months, as flower girls. They wouldn't carry the baskets because they were 'hot!', well, heavy, but they did walk down the aisle from their dad to me and were absolutely adorable. We took them to the hired babysitter for the ceremony and it all went well for the reception. The pictures are worth every bit of extra effort, and even at 19 the girls are laughing about the experience. One of them has her picture in her Facebook album.

But - these are not just random kids we never see again. If the attendants aren't meaningful, don't have them, I agree.


Great, if it worked for you, but my opinion differs.  I do think that child attendants ought to be old enough to understand what is happening  - a meaningful ceremony where two adults are dedicating their lives to one another.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: magician5 on October 21, 2012, 12:26:44 AM
Awww, come on! Interview. Choose one.

But emphasize that the position is as an intern, not paid and not permanent.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: kherbert05 on October 21, 2012, 12:41:09 AM
Honestly I think the principal should send out a general letter telling parents to grow up and stop harrassing the OP's friend. Then the parents who submitted resumes, should be called in and be given 2 choices take an approved parenting course or withdraw their child. If being in the school is socially adventagious - they will take the course to not get kicked out, maybe something will get through to their brains. I grew up around idiots like this they don't deserve to be allowed around children, much less raise them.


(I'm the poster who's High school classmates wrote and circulated a petition for the police chief to keep his job after he arrested a bunch of them for underage drinking. The parents were trying to fire him, using the fact he detained falling down drunk kids of diplomats as leverage. It in part read something like Police chief is one of the few adults in the villages that cares if we live to grow up. Sadly it was true for them - they were ornaments hauled out to make their parents look good and stored out if sight the rest of the time.)
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: BC12 on October 21, 2012, 12:58:50 AM
I think Karen should respond to the requests with something like, "Thank you for the interest, but it would be inappropriate and unprofessional of me to select students to participate in my wedding." Because it's true.

Those parents have some nerve.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: poundcake on October 21, 2012, 04:13:50 AM
This whole thing already sounds like a sitcom plot, but this twist

Awww, come on! Interview. Choose one.

But emphasize that the position is as an intern, not paid and not permanent.

would make it even better.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: camlan on October 21, 2012, 07:36:03 AM
I think Karen should respond to the requests with something like, "Thank you for the interest, but it would be inappropriate and unprofessional of me to select students to participate in my wedding." Because it's true.

Those parents have some nerve.

This, or "It would be unfair to pick one student when I care about them all, so I will not be having any students in my wedding party because I don't want any hurt feelings."

That leaves the door open for Karen to have a flower girl if she wants one, just not one of her students.

The resumes, the competition for the position--these mothers are a) making some interesting assumptions (that Karen will have a flower girl, that she wants students in her wedding) and b) very presumptuous. I'm just sort of stunned that there are flower girl resumes and that mothers would push so very hard for this. I could see a close friend or relation wanting their child in the wedding, but this is ridiculous.

On the other hand, Karen could wait a few more days, getting in more resumes and requests for "pick my daughter please!" and then announce that she will chose her flower girl from the pool of students who have not requested the privilege and have not turned in resumes. That would be a little bit mean, but it might teach some parents a lesson.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Thipu1 on October 21, 2012, 08:21:34 AM
First, Butterfly poop and now this.  Are we sure that this isn't April Fools Day?

There are parents in our neighborhood who are fiercely competitive but I doubt any of them would stoop to this, although some might.   

  How old are these students? 
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: QueenofAllThings on October 21, 2012, 09:28:25 AM
Please, please tell me you're making this up! I fear for our future otherwise ....

ONE parent doing this can be written off as a nut job, but several makes it a trend - sad and bizarre.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: 25wishes on October 21, 2012, 10:44:31 AM
wow, she already has 7 potentials - 2 more and she could field an All-Flower-Girl baseball team.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: pearls n purls on October 21, 2012, 10:51:07 AM
I took me a while to write a response as I had to pick my jaw off the floor several times.

Flower girls are not obligatory and how do the parents know that Karen or her fiance don't have a niece or close relative/family friend they're already planning on having as FG.  And asking about an interview process???!!!!  I wonder what kind of bridezillas the mothers were.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Roses on October 21, 2012, 11:07:50 AM
Craziest thing I've ever heard.

I think I would tell any mother's that approached me that I was only having attendants in my wedding that were close family or friends and that my fiance and other family members knew personally.  It wouldn't be appropriate to have attendants that my fiance doesn't know and it would be unprofessional to involve my students in a personal event.

Sheesh.  Maybe the parents all want an invite to the wedding.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Aoife on October 21, 2012, 11:12:43 AM
It sounds like the class rumour mill has gone into overdrive, I wonder if one of the parents got fed up of the competitiveness and is now sitting back thinking "wow! I didn't think they'd swallow that!"

I would suggest she replies to the emails and says something like  "I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding, no children from my class will be participating in my wedding, it simply wouldn't be fair to the others." then ignore any follow up emails.

It's really very unfair of the parents to put the teacher in the position of having to refuse, not to mention getting their own children's hopes up.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: MummySweet on October 21, 2012, 11:46:25 AM
I think Karen should respond to the requests with something like, "Thank you for the interest, but it would be inappropriate and unprofessional of me to select students to participate in my wedding." Because it's true.

Those parents have some nerve.

This, or "It would be unfair to pick one student when I care about them all, so I will not be having any students in my wedding party because I don't want any hurt feelings."

When I was in the third grade (eight years old) my teacher was a close family friend.  She had actually dated my oldest brother when they were in high school, before I was born.   She got engaged during the summer before the school year started and was married the weekend that the Easter holidays began.  My mother instructed me that I was not to ask about being a flower girl under any circumstances, and I didn't; but several of my female classmates did ask.  She was very sweet to them and explained that it wouldn't be fair when there were so many little girls that she cared so much about. 

A few weeks before the wedding my my teacher took my mother and me to lunch at the fanciest restaurant that I had ever seen in my eight years.   She gave me a little heart shaped pendant necklace and told me that she wished she could have had me be her flower girl, but couldn't because the other kids might not understand.  I did go to the wedding with my family and the bride made sure I had a special bit of cake to put under my pillow that night.   

Even though we had a previous relationship, I can see the argument that even this much extra attention could have been considered unprofessional of my teacher.  I can't imagine how a parent could think it was appropriate to ask to be part of a teacher's personal life like that, or think that such a request/suggestion would be appreciated.  If I were the OP's friend, I think I would be insulted that my student's parents think that I would even consider these "resumes".
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Fleur on October 21, 2012, 11:48:23 AM
I think Karen should respond to the requests with something like, "Thank you for the interest, but it would be inappropriate and unprofessional of me to select students to participate in my wedding." Because it's true.

Those parents have some nerve.

This, or "It would be unfair to pick one student when I care about them all, so I will not be having any students in my wedding party because I don't want any hurt feelings."

When I was in the third grade (eight years old) my teacher was a close family friend.  She had actually dated my oldest brother when they were in high school, before I was born.   She got engaged during the summer before the school year started and was married the weekend that the Easter holidays began.  My mother instructed me that I was not to ask about being a flower girl under any circumstances, and I didn't; but several of my female classmates did ask.  She was very sweet to them and explained that it wouldn't be fair when there were so many little girls that she cared so much about. 

A few weeks before the wedding my my teacher took my mother and me to lunch at the fanciest restaurant that I had ever seen in my eight years.   She gave me a little heart shaped pendant necklace and told me that she wished she could have had me be her flower girl, but couldn't because the other kids might not understand.  I did go to the wedding with my family and the bride made sure I had a special bit of cake to put under my pillow that night.   

Even though we had a previous relationship, I can see the argument that even this much extra attention could have been considered unprofessional of my teacher.  I can't imagine how a parent could think it was appropriate to ask to be part of a teacher's personal life like that, or think that such a request/suggestion would be appreciated.  If I were the OP's friend, I think I would be insulted that my student's parents think that I would even consider these "resumes".

What a lovely story! And I agree, I am just staggered at the brazen rudeness of these parents. Whatever next!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: sparksals on October 21, 2012, 01:02:12 PM
Whoa!  In all the years I have been here, I have seen some pretty crazy stuff, but my GAST is FLABBERED!  I thought I saw everything.  Proves I haven't.  WOW!  They have nerve.

Having said that, if there were so many resumes received, I wonder if it is a normal thing in their circle or at the private school.  Maybe the bride can ask her principal what to do and if this has happened before.  I don't think she should handle this on her own.  I fear a parent will be unhappy and go to the admin and cause problems for her job. 

Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Texas Mom on October 21, 2012, 03:51:44 PM
the bride can ask her principal what to do and if this has happened before.  I don't think she should handle this on her own.  I fear a parent will be unhappy and go to the admin and cause problems for her job.

The principal/headmaster should be notified of the resume business, so he/she can deal with it expediently in a politically astute manner.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: MrTango on October 21, 2012, 04:16:55 PM
the bride can ask her principal what to do and if this has happened before.  I don't think she should handle this on her own.  I fear a parent will be unhappy and go to the admin and cause problems for her job.

The principal/headmaster should be notified of the resume business, so he/she can deal with it expediently in a politically astute manner.

Agreed.  Perhaps the Principal will send a letter to each parent who submitted a resume: "While we would like to thank you for your interest in this position, we have decided to move forward with candidates whose experience and skills are a closer match for the qualifications for the Flower Girl position."  >:D
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: PastryGoddess on October 21, 2012, 05:16:38 PM
the bride can ask her principal what to do and if this has happened before.  I don't think she should handle this on her own.  I fear a parent will be unhappy and go to the admin and cause problems for her job.

The principal/headmaster should be notified of the resume business, so he/she can deal with it expediently in a politically astute manner.

Agreed.  Perhaps the Principal will send a letter to each parent who submitted a resume: "While we would like to thank you for your interest in this position, we have decided to move forward with candidates whose experience and skills are a closer match for the qualifications for the Flower Girl position."  >:D

HA!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Sharnita on October 21, 2012, 05:28:45 PM
This makes me think of the episode of The Office where Dwight thinks he is applying for the CIA.  Notify all prospective candidates and let them know that since the position will require them (and their parents) to keep the details of the wedding secret the bride must know she can trust them - so they must disclose every secret they (and their parents) have ever kept.  See what kind of response she gets.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: aiki on October 21, 2012, 05:50:35 PM
Awww, come on! Interview. Choose one.

But emphasize that the position is as an intern, not paid and not permanent.

Nah, think bigger. Next up on TV - "Karen's Next Top Flowergirl!"
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: TootsNYC on October 21, 2012, 05:54:05 PM
I've heard of moms pressuring relatives, but pressuring the TEACHER?

Where do they get the assumption that Karen plans to have a student from her school as a flower girl? It's not like they're personal friends of hers!

And yeah, I vote for asking the principal to directly address this.
If I were the principal, I'd be contacting each of those parents directly to say, "This is highly inappropriate for you to have done--it's tremendously unfair to put that sort of pressure on one of our teachers. I trust this will not happen again."
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: mmswm on October 21, 2012, 06:26:00 PM
Wow.  I thought I'd heard everything.  I was wrong. 

On a slight side note, what was the thread about butterfly poop?  I must have missed that one.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Sapphire23 on October 21, 2012, 06:29:12 PM
Wow.  I thought I'd heard everything.  I was wrong. 

On a slight side note, what was the thread about butterfly poop?  I must have missed that one.

Here's the butterfly thread:  http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=122136.0
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: MummyPumpkin83 on October 21, 2012, 08:58:48 PM
Kind of off topic...
 I remember reading a baby sitters club little sister book where the main character (who was Karen I think) was asked to be the bridesmaid for her second grade teacher. Maybe the mums got the idea from there?
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Jules1980 on October 21, 2012, 09:20:57 PM
I thought that was a Ramona Quimby book, but its been forever since I read them. 
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Yvaine on October 21, 2012, 09:51:17 PM
There was another book called "Snaggle Doodles" where the main character wanted to be her teacher's flower girl. I don't think she got to be, though.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: johelenc1 on October 21, 2012, 11:31:37 PM
It makes perfect sense for little girls to ask their teacher if they can be in or come to their wedding.  It's exciting for them and they don't really know better.  They really just want to wear a pretty dress.

Now, the idea of mothers asking for their kids and sending resumes!!!!!...It's just incredible.  I can't even imagine.

I'm not sure if I find it funny, or if it makes me angry.  I think both.   The smart thing to do is to go to the principal.  What I would want to do is write a note to each of them telling them that a flower girl is not a position one applies for, but a position of honor given to a cherished loved one, family or friend.  To "apply" for the "job" is both inappropriate and insulting."

But, that would probably get me in trouble.  So, maybe I would write the notes, take them to the principal, and ask if I can send them.  And, if I can't, what is he/she going to do instead?

I definitely think something should be said to the parents.  Their requests are just insane.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: nuit93 on October 21, 2012, 11:32:04 PM
I thought that was a Ramona Quimby book, but its been forever since I read them.

I thought it was Ramona also, but wasn't the teacher marrying Ramona's uncle?
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: mmswm on October 22, 2012, 12:52:46 AM
Wow.  I thought I'd heard everything.  I was wrong. 

On a slight side note, what was the thread about butterfly poop?  I must have missed that one.

Here's the butterfly thread:  http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=122136.0

Thanks!  I really wonder about people sometimes.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Betelnut on October 22, 2012, 08:10:30 AM
I thought that was a Ramona Quimby book, but its been forever since I read them.

I thought it was Ramona also, but wasn't the teacher marrying Ramona's uncle?

No, the teacher was her aunt.  I think the groom was the uncle of her friend...

Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: WonderWoman on October 22, 2012, 09:58:21 AM
Funny, I thought of Lily's Big Day. It is a children's book about a brassy little mouse girl named Lily whose teacher is getting married. She angles to be his flower girl.

But that is FICTION!

I'm also wondering when the teacher is going to start getting ring bearer resumes.

Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Jules1980 on October 22, 2012, 10:16:23 AM
I thought that was a Ramona Quimby book, but its been forever since I read them.

I thought it was Ramona also, but wasn't the teacher marrying Ramona's uncle?

No, the teacher was her aunt.  I think the groom was the uncle of her friend...

Howie's uncle.  And if I remember correctly, she wasn't the flower girl, she was a jr. Bridesmaid.  Howie's baby sister was the flower girl.  I just remember the whole class being invited.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on October 23, 2012, 10:53:22 AM
I really have no response.  I thought I heard everything but I keep being surprised.  Last week it was curbing your butterfly.  This week it's weeding through resumes of flower girl candidates whose families probably aren't even invited to the wedding!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: wyliefool on October 23, 2012, 10:53:40 AM
You could always reply to the emails w/ a link to the Toddlers and Tiaras show website.  >:D
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: DoubleTrouble on October 23, 2012, 11:17:37 AM
My mind is truly blown. OP I hope you find out how this all goes down & let us know!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: DaDancingPsych on October 23, 2012, 03:25:06 PM
I am having a hard time believing that there are so many crazy parents!!! Nutty parent #1 must have proudly announced her plans to submit a resume and other parents did the same in the competitive spirit.

But I do agree with the previous advice. Tell each parent, "Thanks... but really no thanks" and give the principal a heads up. In the very least, he/she she should be prepared for these crazy parents approaching with complaints, because Karen didn't even give their daughter a phone screening!!!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Jones on October 23, 2012, 03:36:20 PM
I wonder if a parent, in an attempt to point out how ridiculously cutthroat everyone was being, "joked" that they were sending in a resume. "It's the New Thing! Makes for lovely photos! You had better make sure she gets some experience or she'll never be a bridesmaid, and when she's a bride she'll be utterly lost!"

Then sat back laughing as the other parents scrambled up their daughters' experience and good qualities...
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: SamiHami on October 23, 2012, 03:44:13 PM
I would just ignore the resumes altogether. If approached by a parent, no one would blame you if you burst out laughing and said, "Oh, that prank was hilarious! Imagine, a resume for a flower girl...as if I wouldn't choose one from my own family or friends! How in the world did you get all those other mothers to go along with the joke?"

Also, would you please post the wording of a couple of those resumes? I'm trying to figure out exactly what a "flower girl resume" would have in it!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Venus193 on October 23, 2012, 03:58:37 PM
You could always reply to the emails w/ a link to the Toddlers and Tiaras show website.  >:D

You beat me to that one.

This is insane and I think a letter from the principal is in order.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: jpcher on October 23, 2012, 05:00:20 PM
Oh.my.goodness. Just . . . just . . . yeah, what everybody else said.


I do have to relate a nice way to handle students in your class if you want them to be a part of your wedding.

When DD#1 was maybe 6 or 7 her daycare teacher announced her engagement. You could imagine the excitement for all the little girls in her class. Bride to be invited any/all of the girls that wished to participate to do so by practicing a song. During the ceremony about 10-12 little girls, all dressed up in their finest, went to the front of the church, gathered around the Bride and sang such a lovely song.

It was quite touching.



BTB didn't even hold auditions to find out if any of the girls had horrible singing voices or not. No application or resume required. ::) Amazing.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Giggity on October 23, 2012, 05:04:29 PM
Karen is at such a loss at what to do and doesn't know how to approach this situation.  Personally, I have never seen resumes for a bridal party position before, and my mind is boggling at these parents' antics.  Any advice for Karen would be most appreciated.

My advice is for her to ignore the whole situation and plan her wedding the way she wants it.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Betelnut on October 23, 2012, 06:31:35 PM
Okay, my list of band names is growing.

First:  Butterfly Poop

Now:  The Flower Girl Rejects 

Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: rain on October 23, 2012, 07:49:41 PM
I like "The Flower Girl Rejects"
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Viscountess on October 23, 2012, 08:48:23 PM
Update:

The kindergarten teacher (Karen's her aide) ended up stepping in and telling parents politely to back off.  Apparently parents (mostly mothers) were asking the kinder teacher about Karen's choice for the esteemed flower girl position.  Fortunately, the kinder teacher has a spine of steel so the parents know that the discussion is closed...for now anyway.  Karen is going to start ignoring the resumes/ demanded requests while planning her destination wedding that only family are invited to attend.  Don't want crazy parents crashing her wedding ;)
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: jedikaiti on October 23, 2012, 10:19:38 PM
Okay, my list of band names is growing.

First:  Butterfly Poop

Now:  The Flower Girl Rejects

If you don't use Flower Girl Rejects, I will start a band just so I can. :-)
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: Sophia on October 23, 2012, 10:30:29 PM
The title was such a far out concept that I had to check out the thread to see which version of "resumes" applied.  The actual or the one defined by "began again"
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: PurpleFrog on October 24, 2012, 03:16:12 AM
Well done Kindy teacher.

Really words fail me.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: ClaireC79 on October 24, 2012, 05:14:52 AM
Kind of off topic...
 I remember reading a baby sitters club little sister book where the main character (who was Karen I think) was asked to be the bridesmaid for her second grade teacher. Maybe the mums got the idea from there?

yep Karen's wedding - my daughter used to like them and still has a few
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: jpcher on October 24, 2012, 05:40:14 PM
Okay, my list of band names is growing.

First:  Butterfly Poop

Now:  The Flower Girl Rejects


LOL! and their title song sung to the tune of "Beauty School Drop-out" ;D





eta: So glad the teacher stepped in.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: JadeAngel on October 24, 2012, 07:07:35 PM
Update:

The kindergarten teacher (Karen's her aide) ended up stepping in and telling parents politely to back off.  Apparently parents (mostly mothers) were asking the kinder teacher about Karen's choice for the esteemed flower girl position.  Fortunately, the kinder teacher has a spine of steel so the parents know that the discussion is closed...for now anyway.  Karen is going to start ignoring the resumes/ demanded requests while planning her destination wedding that only family are invited to attend.  Don't want crazy parents crashing her wedding ;)

She shouldn't have to run away just because of some crazy parents. I'm sure it's been said before, but in her position I would be saying firmly to all pushy mothers that there's no way I can choose one child over another without hurting someone's feelings so the fairest thing I can do is have no flowergirl at all, so no flowergirl it is, the judges decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into etcetera, discussion closed.

Otherwise she's going to be hassled all the way up to her wedding and that is a stress she just doesn't need.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: johelenc1 on October 24, 2012, 11:21:30 PM
I think the teacher let the mothers off too easy. "Just asking about her choice" doesn't involve paperwork. 
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: Betelnut on October 25, 2012, 11:57:33 AM
Okay, my list of band names is growing.

First:  Butterfly Poop

Now:  The Flower Girl Rejects

If you don't use Flower Girl Rejects, I will start a band just so I can. :-)

LOL!  I have a few other band names that I've collected over the years.  Unfortunately, I doubt I'll ever be in the position of actually having a band but, if so, I'll have a name for it!

Hollow Sidewalk is one of the other names I've collected.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: audhs on October 25, 2012, 12:30:52 PM
So bizzare! I was mortified when my 7 year old DD told me she needed to bring 2 boxes of girl guide cookies for her teacher thinking that DD had asked her to buy them. (Dd was really into selling this year)

I received a lovely note from her teacher assuring me my dd had only said she was selling them the teacher was the one who asked to buy them.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: HenrysMom on October 25, 2012, 12:43:20 PM
Okay, my list of band names is growing.

First:  Butterfly Poop

Now:  The Flower Girl Rejects

If you don't use Flower Girl Rejects, I will start a band just so I can. :-)

LOL!  I have a few other band names that I've collected over the years.  Unfortunately, I doubt I'll ever be in the position of actually having a band but, if so, I'll have a name for it!

Hollow Sidewalk is one of the other names I've collected.

Actually, I prefer Pooping Butterflies.

I really can't imagine a parent wanting their kid to be flower girl for a stranger's wedding. 
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: camlan on October 25, 2012, 12:52:58 PM
With the update, I think some of the mothers must have been trying to see which daughter was the most popular (assuming that Karen would pick the child she liked most to be the flower girl). The idea that the parents would ask a third party (the teacher), who is not involved in the wedding at all is just mind-boggling. The idea that a week after her engagement, Karen would have chosen the wedding party is equally mind-boggling. The idea that Karen would want to have a student in her wedding party--well, that's an interesting assumption.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes
Post by: jfost on October 26, 2012, 03:23:43 PM
Well, as I have been enjoying the recent thread alluding to curbing one's butterflies, and agree it seems bizarre for parents to promote unrelated students as potential flower girls, I love imagining a response of "the skills we seek in any flower girls we may choose, other than those from family and family friends, are specifically butterfly-wrangling. If your daughter has such skills, or better yet a trained herd of butterflies, please let us know when we may schedule the audition".

Sudden flash back to an old Two and a Half Men episode.  Allen and Charlie's mom is getting married with the wedding held at Charlie's home.  Allen plans the wedding including a live butterfly release.  Only problem..... when Berta attempts to release the butterflies, they are all dead!   At least they weren't pooping!
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: kherbert05 on October 27, 2012, 04:35:52 PM
So bizzare! I was mortified when my 7 year old DD told me she needed to bring 2 boxes of girl guide cookies for her teacher thinking that DD had asked her to buy them. (Dd was really into selling this year)

I received a lovely note from her teacher assuring me my dd had only said she was selling them the teacher was the one who asked to buy them.
I buy one box from each girl. I also  boys a donation during their popcorn sale. (I don't like microwave popcorn and most of the other products have peanut warnings.)
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: Hunter-Gatherer on October 28, 2012, 04:47:54 PM
The idea that a week after her engagement, Karen would have chosen the wedding party is equally mind-boggling.

Really?  I could have told you who my best man and groomsmen were going to be at my wedding long before I could have said who the bride was going to be.  :)
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: jedikaiti on October 28, 2012, 06:08:36 PM
The idea that a week after her engagement, Karen would have chosen the wedding party is equally mind-boggling.

Really?  I could have told you who my best man and groomsmen were going to be at my wedding long before I could have said who the bride was going to be.  :)

We ID'd the officiant a few years ago - the Chef & I have been together 5 years, living together 4, and finally decided this past July that it was time to start actually planning a real wedding instead of tossing about "oh, that'd be neat..." ideas.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: greencat on October 28, 2012, 07:31:10 PM
Hmm...I distinctly remember that most of my teachers who got married during my elementary, middle, and high school years carefully avoided telling any of their students where the ceremony was going to be to avoid wedding crashers - especially for the high school teachers, where some of the students could have actually driven themselves to the site!

Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: kareng57 on October 28, 2012, 09:41:30 PM
With the update, I think some of the mothers must have been trying to see which daughter was the most popular (assuming that Karen would pick the child she liked most to be the flower girl). The idea that the parents would ask a third party (the teacher), who is not involved in the wedding at all is just mind-boggling. The idea that a week after her engagement, Karen would have chosen the wedding party is equally mind-boggling. The idea that Karen would want to have a student in her wedding party--well, that's an interesting assumption.


I agree with some PPs - many HCs have talked privately about the wedding for a long time before it's "official", so it's not really that outrageous to figure that they already know who will be in the WP a week after the engagement announcement.

DS #1 became engaged to his longtime girlfriend a couple of months ago, although the wedding will not be till 2014.  They haven't figured out the whole WP (at least, not to my knowledge) but they knew right away who the honour-attendants would be.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: kareng57 on October 28, 2012, 09:46:22 PM
As insane as it sounds - could some of this be fallout from the wedding of the Prince of Wales back in 1981?

One of the little bridesmaids (we'd call them flower girls in the US or Canada) was a pupil where Diana was a teacher - although I believe that she had some sort of royal connection as well; a great-granddaughter of Winston Churchill, I think?  As crazy as it sounds,  I wonder whether it made future mothers figure that their future daughters were fair-game as flower girls for future teachers??
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: JadeAngel on October 29, 2012, 10:10:07 PM
Hmm...I distinctly remember that most of my teachers who got married during my elementary, middle, and high school years carefully avoided telling any of their students where the ceremony was going to be to avoid wedding crashers - especially for the high school teachers, where some of the students could have actually driven themselves to the site!

I remember one teacher who didn't avoid this. I think she was less than pleased to make her exit from the ceremony and find ten of her students (literally) hanging out of the tree at the front of the church, and even less so when they proceeded to take photographs of the happy couple and plastered them all over the school.

She was fresh out of teacher college and wanted to be 'popular' with her students. Thanks to us she got over that notion very quickly... 
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: kareng57 on October 29, 2012, 11:16:42 PM
Hmm...I distinctly remember that most of my teachers who got married during my elementary, middle, and high school years carefully avoided telling any of their students where the ceremony was going to be to avoid wedding crashers - especially for the high school teachers, where some of the students could have actually driven themselves to the site!

I remember one teacher who didn't avoid this. I think she was less than pleased to make her exit from the ceremony and find ten of her students (literally) hanging out of the tree at the front of the church, and even less so when they proceeded to take photographs of the happy couple and plastered them all over the school.

She was fresh out of teacher college and wanted to be 'popular' with her students. Thanks to us she got over that notion very quickly...


But it's also true that in some regions/some eras - the ceremony is indeed a public ceremony, if it takes place in a public venue such as a place-of-worship, or a park.

Of course this is quite less common these days.  But in previous generations, it really wasn't that uncommon for people who were not invited to to the reception, but knew where the wedding would be held,  to hang around to at least get photos, or to seek seating in the back pews of a church (I'm not familiar with the seating in non-Christian POWs, although I'd imagine that there are usually provisions for attendees who are non-observant).

Overall, I just don't have an answer.  Unless the HC hires a private venue (such as a golf/country club) for everything, then it's probably pretty difficult to exclude Mrs. Joe Average from the ceremony.
Title: Re: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5
Post by: scotcat60 on October 30, 2012, 04:08:05 AM
Perhaps the Mums had read the story of the primary school teacher in the UK who, some years ago now,  asked all the little girls in her class to be bridesmaids and all the little boys to be pageboys when she got married. She had about 15 of each, and write ups in the national press. Also, I have read stories of little girls who, wanting to be a bridesmaid but having no relatives about to be married, advertised thier services, (albiet without a CV) and their offers were taken up. I also read of a girl who not having grandparents, advertised for a grandmother, and got one. That too made the papers in the UK.