Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Etiquette of the Rich and Famous => Topic started by: JadeAngel on November 06, 2012, 07:30:08 PM

Title: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: JadeAngel on November 06, 2012, 07:30:08 PM
The attached clip is from a morning show in Australia called Sunrise. They had a panel segment where they discussed several topics and the one that stood out for me was that one of the panellists was invited to be in a receiving line to meet the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall and refused out of respect for the late Princess Diana.

http://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunrise/video/-/watch/31057360/kochies-angels-november-7/
(not sure if this link will work outside Australia, if not let me know and I will try to find another)

Now this woman didn't make a big scene about not wanting to meet, she just took herself off to the champagne tent instead of getting into the line. But she has discussed it on Twitter and on the attached clip and given her reasons.

Leaving aside who did what to whom, is it right to refuse to meet the Prince and Duchess on moral grounds? Would you absent yourself rather than shake the Duchess of Cornwall's hand? Is it really betraying Diana's memory if even her children have accepted this woman into their family? 

(Also regarding the end of the video I apologise profusely on behalf of all Australians. We're not all like that, it's a very small, very disgraceful section of the community)
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: afbluebelle on November 06, 2012, 07:40:35 PM
I think you have the right to refuse to meet someone if you do not want to meet them, but I don't agree with the tweeting and video clip promotion. No one would be criticizing the decision if it hadn't been advertised as a decision.


Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: MyFamily on November 06, 2012, 08:20:32 PM
I agree with afbluebelle.  Just because you are royalty doesn't mean I have to like or respect you, and I certainly don't have to "meet" you.  But publishing it all over the internet, takes that decision to a much lower level and that is not okay.  It is like giving someone the cut-direct - you have your reasons for doing so, but you don't advertise them to all and sundry.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: JonGirl on November 07, 2012, 02:56:33 AM


Do people really not like Camilla at all?
I like her and she is Prince Charles one true love, not Diana.
Was this at the Melbourne Cup? I worked there as a cleaner and wish I got to see her.  :D
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Iris on November 07, 2012, 03:18:06 AM
I agree with afbluebell and MyFamily - if you don't want to meet someone, fine. Advertising the decision to all and sundry - not fine.

JonGirl - I don't have a problem with Camilla personally, but the early 80s were so inundated with the "fairytale" romance of Charles and Diana that I can see how some people may be a bit biased. I don't have a lot of interest in the royal family as such but it all happened a long time ago.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Margo on November 07, 2012, 04:04:52 AM
I agree. Chosing not to meet someone is fine. Turning it into a publicity stunt is not.
And I do not think that it honours anyone's memory to drag up past wrongs when those most concerned have chosen to move on.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: lady_disdain on November 07, 2012, 07:21:55 AM
Does she refuse to meet anyone who has ever cheated? That would include Diana herself. This smells like hypocrisy to me.

While she does have the right to refuse to meet anyone she likes, she should be more classy about it.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Winterlight on November 07, 2012, 08:40:31 AM
She can refuse for whatever reason she pleases. Tweeting said reason- not necessary.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: FoxPaws on November 07, 2012, 11:38:25 AM
Had she simply not gone and said nothing about it, she'd have been fine. Had anyone asked if she'd met them and she'd said something along the lines of, "No. I was in the champagne tent during the presentation," she would have been fine. Had anyone asked why and she'd offered an excuse like, "Oh, it just isn't my thing," she'd have been fine.

It's the bragging about it that's tacky.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: GSNW on November 07, 2012, 12:39:32 PM
This is in very poor taste.  The interpersonal details of what went on between Charles and Di have been out there for all to read, yes, but at this point do people really feel the need to judge the third (fourth, fifth, etc) parties involved?  Obviously Camilla was more than a passing fancy, they're married now, and it's not up to this woman to "stand up" for Diana by snubbing Camilla due to her own moral judgements.

Declining quietly is one thing, but this just smacks of attention-grabbing.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: audrey1962 on November 07, 2012, 12:58:36 PM
My SIL once had a chance to be in a receiving line to meet (then) President Bill Clinton. She decided to stand in line for a hot dog instead.

But she doesn't tweet about it.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: BeagleMommy on November 07, 2012, 01:22:54 PM
Her reasons for refusing to be in the receiving line should have been kept personal.  Once she took to social media it became rude. 
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Shoo on November 07, 2012, 02:51:41 PM
Why is it rude?  Not trying to argue, just trying to "get it."  I don't get why it's rude.  In bad taste, maybe, but rude?  Who is it rude TO?
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Sharnita on November 07, 2012, 07:47:09 PM
Yes, people really don't like Camilla. Not all people but definitely some people. In fact, even Diana took a hit in the eyes of some people for cheating. I agree that an individual is not rude to decline but that they don't tirn their grievances into a public broadcast.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: snowdragon on November 07, 2012, 11:10:14 PM
Their objections to Charles and Camile might not be because of the cheating, there are still people who seriously believe that the Royal family had something to do with her death. This person could be a conspiracy theorist. *IF* I thought someone had their wife killed, I would not be meeting them and would not keep silent about it, just saying.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: HenrysMom on November 08, 2012, 12:12:37 AM
I agree with those who say it isn't rude to decline, but it is rude to broadcast one's reasons. 

If given the opportunity, I would decline, but I would keep my reasons to myself, as they are slightly different than people would think.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Lauren on November 08, 2012, 10:57:13 AM
Princess Diana has been dead over 15 years. I think it's time to let it go. If her oldest son can have Camilla stand up at his wedding as the (step) mother of the groom I think a person who never knew her has no place to refuse to meet them 'on her behalf'
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: rose red on November 08, 2012, 11:33:34 AM
I don't think anyone needs to let anything go and they can refuse to meet anybody they please.  I, myself, have no interest in meeting more than a few well-known people.  But even if I agree with the reasons and opinion about a person (and I'm not saying I do or don't in this case), telling the world just feels so tacky, attention-seeking, and undignified to me.  YMMV.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Shoo on November 08, 2012, 11:48:32 AM
I agree that it's tacky and undignified to tweet about it, or share it with the world, but I don't think it's an etiquette issue.  Being tacky or undignified isn't rude.  What about this situation makes it an etiquette violation?
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: violinp on November 08, 2012, 12:01:03 PM
Princess Diana has been dead over 15 years. I think it's time to let it go. If her oldest son can have Camilla stand up at his wedding as the (step) mother of the groom I think a person who never knew her has no place to refuse to meet them 'on her behalf'

This, so much. At this point, it just smacks of pure meanness and vitriol.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: blue2000 on November 08, 2012, 01:20:00 PM
I agree that it's tacky and undignified to tweet about it, or share it with the world, but I don't think it's an etiquette issue.  Being tacky or undignified isn't rude.  What about this situation makes it an etiquette violation?

It is like saying "Ewwww! I don't want to eat this!" at a dinner party, instead of gracefully declining. You can like whatever/whoever you want, you can think whatever you want, but the only thing that should come out of your mouth is "No, thank you."
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Iris on November 08, 2012, 03:05:44 PM
I agree that it's tacky and undignified to tweet about it, or share it with the world, but I don't think it's an etiquette issue.  Being tacky or undignified isn't rude.  What about this situation makes it an etiquette violation?

It is like saying "Ewwww! I don't want to eat this!" at a dinner party, instead of gracefully declining. You can like whatever/whoever you want, you can think whatever you want, but the only thing that should come out of your mouth is "No, thank you."

Also this is one of the more watched morning shows in Australia, so it's not like a private conversation among friends. There's a very real chance that Charles and Camilla would hear about it. If she'd had this conversation down at the pub with a couple of her bffs then it wouldn't worry me. It's having it on national television in a country where these people are currently visiting that makes it rude to me.

Also many people (not me!) care what television personalities say. By dredging up something like that it is bringing it to the forefront of people's minds and it may well make Charles' and Camilla's visit a little less pleasant than otherwise. My personal view is that the British Royal Family should have no dominion over Australia, but I have nothing personal against them and they are currently guests in 'my home'.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Winterlight on November 10, 2012, 06:10:46 PM
Princess Diana has been dead over 15 years. I think it's time to let it go. If her oldest son can have Camilla stand up at his wedding as the (step) mother of the groom I think a person who never knew her has no place to refuse to meet them 'on her behalf'

I would somewhat disagree.  I think you can refuse to meet them for any reason you want, be it that you object to colonialism or that Prince Charles wears ugly ties. However, broadcasting that reason is not necessary.

I admit, though, that it is a pretty eyerolling reason.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Twik on November 10, 2012, 07:11:34 PM
I agree with those who say it isn't rude to decline, but it is rude to broadcast one's reasons. 


Pod.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: JadeAngel on November 11, 2012, 11:07:53 PM
I think in retrospect what I found most distasteful about it was that she went to the 'free champagne tent' rather than meet Camilla and Charles, which says to me that you're happy to take advantage of and enjoy the hospitality of your hosts, but not willing to take time to extend a basic courtesy to another guest who is a foreign dignitary.

Kind of on a par with someone who comes to the wedding only for the free meal and open bar and doesn't take the time to greet the hosts or thank them for their hospitality at the end of the evening...
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: Sharnita on November 11, 2012, 11:24:31 PM
I think in retrospect what I found most distasteful about it was that she went to the 'free champagne tent' rather than meet Camilla and Charles, which says to me that you're happy to take advantage of and enjoy the hospitality of your hosts, but not willing to take time to extend a basic courtesy to another guest who is a foreign dignitary.

Kind of on a par with someone who comes to the wedding only for the free meal and open bar and doesn't take the time to greet the hosts or thank them for their hospitality at the end of the evening...

Were they the hosts?  This is a little unclear to me.  Were they the hosts, honored guests, what?  And if they we re the hosts where do the funds come from? Does the money for them to host those kinds of shindigs come from taxes or some other source? I realize it gets a little political but I think that hosting on the government dime might be a bit different than hosting on your own.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: JonGirl on November 12, 2012, 05:22:51 AM
My SIL once had a chance to be in a receiving line to meet (then) President Bill Clinton. She decided to stand in line for a hot dog instead.

But she doesn't tweet about it.


 :o  :o

I'd do anything to meet that guy.
Title: Re: Refusing to meet the Royals
Post by: JeanFromBNA on November 12, 2012, 02:54:19 PM
You can refuse to meet someone on moral grounds.  You lose on etiquette grounds when you tweet about it afterward.