Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: GrammarNerd on November 26, 2012, 03:10:53 PM

Title: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: GrammarNerd on November 26, 2012, 03:10:53 PM
My sister shared this with me and I was just curious what others thought of what happened with this situation.

She lives in an area where there seem to be a lot of church charity auctions.  She went to one such auction that was not for the church she attends (possibly important later).  (background: She was going to her SIL's for Thanksgiving dinner, and then she was hosting my family on Saturday so the cousins could all see each other.)  One of the items up for auction was a family turkey dinner from the deli of a grocery store in town, valued at about $50.  She bid on it (presumably for the $50, although I'm not entirely sure) and won it.  Generally, these things are pretty generic (like they say 'turkey dinner', but they really mean a value of $X that can be used for anything in the deli within a month or two). So my sister thought she might be able to trade it in for chicken or something else, and we could all eat it when we came to her house on Saturday. 

After she got the info, she saw that the auction was very specific; it HAD to be a turkey dinner, and it HAD to be picked up between Monday and Thursday.  Well, she waited until Thursday and called the deli to say she was going to be picking it up.  She had a coupon of sorts and described it to the manager.  The deli manager didn't know what she was talking about.  Even he said that typically, people just get a $50 gift card in cases like this.  She faxed the coupon to the deli manager so he could see what she was talking about.

The manager called her back, and this is where it gets a bit wild.  Apparently, my sister's turkey dinner had been picked up already by someone else!  The manager said that some other lady had been calling all day, wondering if the dinner (my sister's dinner) had been picked up yet.  When it hadn't been picked up by a certain time, this other lady came and picked it up herself!

My sister's take on it was that this lady is the one who donated the item to the church auction (I don't know if she knew this for sure or was supposing).  The other lady was counting on nobody picking up the dinner, basically hedging her bets, hence the specificity of the type of dinner and the short time frame for picking it up.  That's why it wasn't done in the 'typical' way (the $50 gift card), b/c then she'd have no way of potentially getting it back if she'd just donated the gift card.  So my sister was out her money AND her dinner.

I asked what my sister was going to do.  She hadn't done anything yet b/c she was really busy on Friday.  Personally, I think a bit of public shaming would be in order, and that my sister should call the church and explain the situation, and request that they ask that the Turkey lady actually provide to my sister what she donated, or give my sister back her money.  Perhaps my sister could overlook the large 'donation' to the church and just write it off if it were her own church, but this is a different one.  I thought if the Turkey lady was going to going to try to get the goodwill for her actions AND eat my sister's dinner, then she should be called out on her actions.  And to do this to a church?  Really?

So, what do you all think of that?  I thought it was pretty shady and conniving of Turkey lady, personally.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: yokozbornak on November 26, 2012, 03:14:58 PM
Wow!  That is dirty and lowdown.  I would be calling the pastor ASAP and letting him/her know what happened and asking for a refund.  That's just terrible.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: WillyNilly on November 26, 2012, 03:15:51 PM
I absolutely think your sister needs to contact the church.  Regardless of who it was who took the turkey dinner, the fact of the matter is there were no safe guards in place to ensure the customer (your sister) got what she paid for.  And since she paid the church for it, the church is the responsible entity.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LazyDaisy on November 26, 2012, 03:20:27 PM
I'm a bit against the grain on this. I actually think that it's the fault of the deli rather than the church. They shouldn't have released the dinner without the gift coupon. Sister should have taken the coupon in and insisted that they honor it -- whether or not someone else cheated them out of a dinner. But I don't think that Sister is totally in the right either to wait until the very last second to even contact the deli about a turkey dinner. What if they needed advance notice to prepare it? Maybe nobody picked up Sister's turkey dinner but the deli just didn't have one prepared to give. I think Sister can bring it up with the church to alert them of a potential scam either from the donor or the deli, but I don't think that they bear the burden of making it right.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: O'Dell on November 26, 2012, 03:20:53 PM
Another vote for calling the church and getting a refund.

Unless she's sure it's the lady who donated it, she shouldn't accuse her. Just give the church the facts, including anything that possibly identifies the woman who picked up the dinner, and let the pastor take it from there.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 03:21:36 PM
I find the whole story confusing to be honest.  I have never heard of a dinner like that where you didn't pre-arrange a day and rough time where you wouldbe picking it up.  The fact that sis made no re-arrangements might have made it appear that the turkey had been abandoned and if Thusrady passed the opportunity would have been lost.  Is it possible that somebody from the store could have called the church to mention that there had been no arrangments made and the clock was ticking?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 26, 2012, 03:24:11 PM
I'd contact the church.  But I'd do so in a confused, "I think something went awry" way.

"Hi Pastor Pete,  I was at the recent Thanksgiving Auction at your church, and I won the Turkey Dinner.  I think something didn't get communicated right between the church and the store, because it appears someone else picked up the dinner right before I got there.  I know it was just a mistake somewhere, but I thought you needed to know that some of the items from the auction didn't get to the people who bought them.  Since it's after Thanksgiving now, would it be possible to maybe get a gift card for the amount I spent instead?"

The pastor is the one who needs to determine if Turkey Lady was the culprit and then do whatever's necessary.  But I don't think the OP's sister should make any accusations - even as  possible suppositions.
 
ETA:  Oooooh, LazyDaisy posted while I was posting.  I do see her point here, though.  The deli isn't completely blameless here.
 
Quote
I actually think that it's the fault of the deli rather than the church. They shouldn't have released the dinner without the gift coupon.

 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 26, 2012, 03:28:49 PM
Quote
The fact that sis made no re-arrangements might have made it appear that the turkey had been abandoned

But, if that were the case, it doesn't mean that someone else just gets to swoop in and take the dinner.  It means that the dinner just went unclaimed and could be resold to someone else.  Turkey Lady got a free dinner on someone else's dime.  And that's not right - even if the OP's sister never intended to pick up the dinner.

If nothing else, TL should have called the OP's sister and said, "Hey, the deli called me and said the dinner hasn't been picked up.  I just wanted to let you know it's there and ready for you."  But she didn't do that - she (and I'm making an assumption that it was TL who took it - we haven't proven that) just went over and grabbed it.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Zilla on November 26, 2012, 03:32:44 PM
I think what it was that the lady paid for the dinner at the deli and then basically had the store write out something indicating that the dinner is paid for and ready to be picked up.  The lady probably kept the receipt and gave the paper to the church.
 
I think the deli is blameless if this is the case.  If they released the dinner without that receipt or paperwork then the deli is the one that has to make good on the item.  I would actually go to the store and ask for the manager and show them your paper and see what proof they have of whom picked up the dinner.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 26, 2012, 03:34:48 PM
I agree that it's the fault of the deli. They let someone pick up the dinner without presenting the valid coupon. And now, they are essentially refusing to honor the actual valid coupon. I would call the church and tell them that. I wouldn't speculate as to who did pick up the dinner, I'd just say that the deli wouldn't honor the coupon. Period. If asked why I'd tell them that it's not my problem why, only that I bid on the auction in good faith, that the deli did not come through, and that you'd like your money back.

If the church wants to call the deli and figure out what happened and who picked up the dinner, that's on them. But if I were your sister, I wouldn't want to get involved in that baliwick at all.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 03:35:59 PM
Actually, it might mean nobody got anything.  If the store's terms were that they were donating a dinner but it had to be picked up by Thursday - and nobody had made any arrangements then it might look like there would be no turkey dinner. 

OP's sis was not a member of the church so it is possible they didn't have her name or contact info to ask if she was getting the dinner. I am not saying it was handled in the best way, just that I have never heard of her approach either so they may have been confused as to what her intentions were.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 26, 2012, 03:39:16 PM
Actually, it might mean nobody got anything.  If the store's terms were that they were donating a dinner but it had to be picked up by Thursday - and nobody had made any arrangements then it might look like there would be no turkey dinner. 

OP's sis was not a member of the church so it is possible they didn't have her name or contact info to ask if she was getting the dinner. I am not saying it was handled in the best way, just that I have never heard of her approach either so they may have been confused as to what her intentions were.

My understanding is that the Church Lady is the one who set the time restriction, not the deli.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 26, 2012, 03:40:54 PM
Except that the manager specifically said it had already been picked up by somebody else:

Quote
The manager said that some other lady had been calling all day, wondering if the dinner (my sister's dinner) had been picked up yet.  When it hadn't been picked up by a certain time, this other lady came and picked it up herself!


I'm guessing that the store makes up a bunch of these turkey dinners and has them available for purchase by customers without reservations in the week leading up to TG. When no one came and presented the coupon by a certain time, they allowed this lady to go ahead and take one without presenting the coupon.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 03:41:34 PM
Actually, it might mean nobody got anything.  If the store's terms were that they were donating a dinner but it had to be picked up by Thursday - and nobody had made any arrangements then it might look like there would be no turkey dinner. 

OP's sis was not a member of the church so it is possible they didn't have her name or contact info to ask if she was getting the dinner. I am not saying it was handled in the best way, just that I have never heard of her approach either so they may have been confused as to what her intentions were.

My understanding is that the Church Lady is the one who set the time restriction, not the deli.

Having been to auctions like these, most items are donated by businesses or other private donors and the restrictions are from the donors.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 26, 2012, 03:42:08 PM
Quote
My understanding is that the Church Lady is the one who set the time restriction, not the deli.

That's how I read it as well.  I could be wrong, though.  OP, is there a way to find out who put the time restriction on it?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 26, 2012, 03:44:30 PM
Actually, it might mean nobody got anything.  If the store's terms were that they were donating a dinner but it had to be picked up by Thursday - and nobody had made any arrangements then it might look like there would be no turkey dinner. 

OP's sis was not a member of the church so it is possible they didn't have her name or contact info to ask if she was getting the dinner. I am not saying it was handled in the best way, just that I have never heard of her approach either so they may have been confused as to what her intentions were.

My understanding is that the Church Lady is the one who set the time restriction, not the deli.

Having been to auctions like these, most items are donated by businesses or other private donors and the restrictions are from the donors.

I was replying to your use of the bolded words. From what the OP wrote, the Deli had not imposed the restriction, the Church Lady did.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LazyDaisy on November 26, 2012, 03:45:39 PM
My sister shared this with me and I was just curious what others thought of what happened with this situation.

She lives in an area where there seem to be a lot of church charity auctions.  She went to one such auction that was not for the church she attends (possibly important later).  (background: She was going to her SIL's for Thanksgiving dinner, and then she was hosting my family on Saturday so the cousins could all see each other.)  One of the items up for auction was a family turkey dinner from the deli of a grocery store in town, valued at about $50.  She bid on it (presumably for the $50, although I'm not entirely sure) and won it.  Generally, these things are pretty generic (like they say 'turkey dinner', but they really mean a value of $X that can be used for anything in the deli within a month or two). So my sister thought she might be able to trade it in for chicken or something else, and we could all eat it when we came to her house on Saturday. 

After she got the info, she saw that the auction was very specific; it HAD to be a turkey dinner, and it HAD to be picked up between Monday and Thursday.  Well, she waited until Thursday and called the deli to say she was going to be picking it up.  She had a coupon of sorts and described it to the manager.  The deli manager didn't know what she was talking about.  Even he said that typically, people just get a $50 gift card in cases like this.  She faxed the coupon to the deli manager so he could see what she was talking about.

The manager called her back, and this is where it gets a bit wild.  Apparently, my sister's turkey dinner had been picked up already by someone else!  The manager said that some other lady had been calling all day, wondering if the dinner (my sister's dinner) had been picked up yet.  When it hadn't been picked up by a certain time, this other lady came and picked it up herself!

My sister's take on it was that this lady is the one who donated the item to the church auction (I don't know if she knew this for sure or was supposing).  The other lady was counting on nobody picking up the dinner, basically hedging her bets, hence the specificity of the type of dinner and the short time frame for picking it up.  That's why it wasn't done in the 'typical' way (the $50 gift card), b/c then she'd have no way of potentially getting it back if she'd just donated the gift card.  So my sister was out her money AND her dinner.

I asked what my sister was going to do.  She hadn't done anything yet b/c she was really busy on Friday.  Personally, I think a bit of public shaming would be in order, and that my sister should call the church and explain the situation, and request that they ask that the Turkey lady actually provide to my sister what she donated, or give my sister back her money.  Perhaps my sister could overlook the large 'donation' to the church and just write it off if it were her own church, but this is a different one.  I thought if the Turkey lady was going to going to try to get the goodwill for her actions AND eat my sister's dinner, then she should be called out on her actions.  And to do this to a church?  Really?

So, what do you all think of that?  I thought it was pretty shady and conniving of Turkey lady, personally.

We have no idea if there is indeed a Church Lady Donor, that was just Sister's guess. Everyone at the auction saw that the item was up for bidding so anyone, such as a losing bidder, organizer, or someone from the local food bank or soup kitchen, could have been the one to pick it up. Or the deli manager could be making up the whole story altogether of another woman picking up the dinner.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: sweetonsno on November 26, 2012, 03:49:11 PM
Your sister absolutely needs to take action, but she should tread very lightly here. Because this was another church, she probably has no way of knowing for sure how the auction was organized. The donor might not be the only person who knew the exact terms of the item. Someone else may have stolen it. Someone may have been worried that the dinner would go to waste (that would explain the repeated calls to see if anyone had picked it up yet) and decided to claim it, either for themselves or a family in need. Obviously, it would be better to call the winner, but who knows whether or not they had that information? Basically, there are a number of possible explanations for what happened.

Your sister should call the church, yes, but she should not make a direct accusation unless she is 100% sure that it was the Turkey lady who did this. (Say, the deli manager shows her a signed receipt with Turkey Lady's signature.) Your sister should stick to the facts. When she gets in touch with the person in charge, she can say something like: "I bid on and won the turkey dinner from X deli at the charity auction last week. When I called to claim it, the deli manager seemed to be confused about it. I faxed him the coupon and he called back, telling me that somebody else had already claimed it. Apparently, another woman had been calling to see if it had been picked up. I'm not sure if there has been some sort of misunderstanding. Was there more than one turkey dinner available and the deli had a mix-up?" In short, your sister should try to figure out what happened before suggesting one solution. It would not be appropriate to ask that the donor reimburse her if it turns out that one of the organizers (or someone else who bid on the dinner) was at fault for stealing it.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: doodlemor on November 26, 2012, 03:52:25 PM
Don't people get arrested for shoplifting things of lesser value than this?  Perhaps if she called the police they would check it out.  Don't most deli's have security cameras?  It seems like it shouldn't be too hard to find out what happened to the dinner.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 03:52:35 PM
Yes, she doesn't go to this church so to assume she knows who donated this dinner, that it was the same person who got the dinenr and then to "shame" that person?  I suppose maybe in a relaly small community you might know everybody so weel you might know almost certainly but do you really want to public shame people even on "almost certainly"?  And it doesn't sound like it is really all that certain but rather pretty speculative.

As far as who knows the terms - the donor, the organizer, church secretary, another bidder who took a close look ...
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 03:54:43 PM
Don't people get arrested for shoplifting things of lesser value than this?  Perhaps if she called the police they would check it out.  Don't most deli's have security camera's?  It seems like it shouldn't be too hard to find out what happened to the dinner.

It doens't sound like the caller was deceptive, though.  It almost sounds like the called and called and finally asked if they could claim the turkey since the bidder had not thus far.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 26, 2012, 03:54:53 PM
I think that's making things too complicated. These are the facts.
1. sis bid on and won a turkey dinner with certain restrictions.
2. she called the deli in time to meet those restrictions.
3. the deli refused to honor her coupon.

It's really not Sis's responsibility to chase down the deli manager beyond this for any more details. He said he wouldn't honor it. End of story. It's now the church's responsibility to figure out why. They auctioned off a coupon and the coupon turned out to be no good. For whatever reason. Now they need to give Sis back her money and then resolve it in whatever way they see fit with the deli or whoever else may have been involved.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Girlie on November 26, 2012, 03:55:37 PM
When I worked at a grocery store, we had a deli that did Thanksgiving dinners - they would sell a cooked turkey, two or three sides, rolls, and a gallon of sweet tea. Is it possible that it was a prepared meal as such? If so, then the deli probably would have needed prior knowledge as to WHEN to have the meal ready. If that was the case, then it may not have been the donator's time restrictions at all, but the store's.

All that to say, if someone knew the time limit on being able to pick up the order, then it is entirely possible that they honestly thought that the OP's sister wasn't wanting the dinner that she'd bought, and he/she/it didn't want it to be wasted.

Since the conversation with the store has been over for a few days, I see nothing wrong with contacting the church and asking for the donation back. If it were me, however, I'd probably write it off as a donation and a lesson learned.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Slartibartfast on November 26, 2012, 03:57:16 PM
Is this grocery store way out of her normal route?  If not, I would go in person (with the coupon) and ask to see the manager and find out exactly what was going on.  It's possible that someone else picked up her dinner - or there wasn't one reserved in the first place, or the coupon was bogus and the manager just made a wild guess about the situation because he wasn't in the loop.  It's possible that the store is the donor of the coupon in the first place, in which case they were responsible for saying "Arrangements must be made 24 hours in advance" if that was indeed the case.

If and only if the store brushes her off and says "not our problem" should she go to the church.  I'd be afraid that if she went to the church first, they'd say "it's the store's fault" and she'd be left being tossed between the store and the church anyway.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 03:58:35 PM
Actually, I don't think it is the church's responsibility - I think it is the deli's responsibility to meet the obligation.  They did not have to give away the dinner, they apparently chose to do so.  When the actual bidder called in within the deadline but after they gave away the dinner they had the obligation to live up to their repsonsiblity to her, regardless of the early decision they made of their free will. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: wildkitty on November 26, 2012, 04:16:25 PM
So wait a minute... first, the deli manager claims ignorance of a prepared turkey dinner until being presented with the actual certificate. Suddenly this same manager claims someone else had been calling about the exact same turkey dinner all day, the same dinner the manager knew nothing about. And now it had already picked up by someone else? Something is fishy.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 26, 2012, 04:46:51 PM
So wait a minute... first, the deli manager claims ignorance of a prepared turkey dinner until being presented with the actual certificate. Suddenly this same manager claims someone else had been calling about the exact same turkey dinner all day, the same dinner the manager knew nothing about. And now it had already picked up by someone else? Something is fishy.

My best guess--and this is just speculation--is that Zilla is correct and that the donor hung on to her receipt from when she first spent the money to buy the dinner she planned to donate. This is also why I think it's the donor who snagged the dinner--because I see it as way more likely that the deli would release the dinner to a woman who had a receipt saying she bought it than to just some random person with no receipt or gift certificate. And the deli got confused somewhere along the way.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Bijou on November 26, 2012, 04:56:11 PM
I'm thinking that someone really wanted that dinner maybe had also bid on it and had no other thanksgiving possibility so when it had not been picked up by a certain time, went in and claimed it, probably with no verification except, "I'm picking up a dinner from the church auction."
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 26, 2012, 05:12:35 PM
I don't think guessing on what happened to the dinner would be fruitfull.  I'd contact the church, let them know what happened and ask for them to remedy the situation. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 06:01:19 PM
I don't think guessing on what happened to the dinner would be fruitfull.  I'd contact the church, let them know what happened and ask for them to remedy the situation.

How would they do that? I mean, do they hire a private detective to track down the person who got the turkey?  Why would this be their responsiblity and not the store's?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: TootsNYC on November 26, 2012, 06:17:23 PM
Because they're the ones who sold it. So they'd contact the store and say, "Oh, come on--you surely don't want to create a bad situation here by not honoring the coupon!"
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 06:19:11 PM
Because they're the ones who sold it. So they'd contact the store and say, "Oh, come on--you surely don't want to create a bad situation here by not honoring the coupon!"

That would be reasonable but most people seem to expect far more.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CreteGirl on November 26, 2012, 06:35:16 PM
This is so interesting that i am just posting for updates.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 26, 2012, 07:21:07 PM
I don't think guessing on what happened to the dinner would be fruitfull.  I'd contact the church, let them know what happened and ask for them to remedy the situation.

How would they do that? I mean, do they hire a private detective to track down the person who got the turkey?  Why would this be their responsiblity and not the store's?

The buyer of a auction item  for charity should not be responsible for resolving the issue.  The church knows who donated the item, even if it was the store who donated the item.  They would also be the only ones who have the records to indicate who was the authorized buyer.  So yes, it is their responsibility to follow up with the store to resolve the problem. 

I'm not sure why you felt the need to seem snarky with your private detective comment.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 07:29:12 PM
I don't think guessing on what happened to the dinner would be fruitfull.  I'd contact the church, let them know what happened and ask for them to remedy the situation.

How would they do that? I mean, do they hire a private detective to track down the person who got the turkey?  Why would this be their responsiblity and not the store's?

The buyer of a auction item  for charity should not be responsible for resolving the issue.  The church knows who donated the item, even if it was the store who donated the item.  They would also be the only ones who have the records to indicate who was the authorized buyer.  So yes, it is their responsibility to follow up with the store to resolve the problem. 

I'm not sure why you felt the need to seem snarky with your private detective comment.

I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely not sure how else they would track down who got the dinner.  Yes they know who donated it - I don't know that there is any evidence that the donor was the person who picked it up.  The business is the one who basically gave a dinner to somebody who didn't have any sort of voucher for it.  The church could call and say "We expect you so honor your coupon/voucher/whatever" but how on earth would you expect them to be able to find out more about who got the turkey from the deli than the deli who saw the person and handed it to them? 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Roe on November 26, 2012, 07:32:50 PM
I agree, the OP needs to start at  the church.  As one point out, the church has record of who donated the item and has record of any communication between church and store. 

If the store still refuses to honor the coupon, I hope the church reinburses the OP's money.  I can see a situation where others no longer bid on items if there is a chance they can get ripped off.  At that point, the church loses so it's to their benefit to clear up this situation and make it right for the OP's sister.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Harriet Jones on November 26, 2012, 08:05:09 PM
Whether or not they figure out who actually took the dinner, this needs to be reported to the church. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LifeOnPluto on November 26, 2012, 08:09:04 PM
I also think the deli is at fault here, so that needs to be the OP's sister's first port of call.

I'd call up the store and ask them - in light of their mistake - if they will still honour the coupon (or make it up to me with a $50 voucher).

If the store refuses, I'd then go to the church and ask them to either (a) reimburse me; or (b) sort it out with the store so that I get my prize.

If the church refused (and told me it was my problem, not theirs, etc) then I'd get mad. I'd write an angry letter to the pastor, and the organisers, and let them know that I'm never participating in their charity events again.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 08:11:10 PM
I also think the deli is at fault here, so that needs to be the OP's sister's first port of call.

I'd call up the store and ask them - in light of their mistake - if they will still honour the coupon (or make it up to me with a $50 voucher).

If the store refuses, I'd then go to the church and ask them to either (a) reimburse me; or (b) sort it out with the store so that I get my prize.

If the church refused (and told me it was my problem, not theirs, etc) then I'd get mad. I'd write an angry letter to the pastor, and the organisers, and let them know that I'm never participating in their charity events again.

I might also add a review of the deli mentioning that they gave away my dinner to somebody else.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: yokozbornak on November 26, 2012, 08:13:05 PM
As someone who has been responsible for a few silent auctions in the past, I would definitely want it reported to me first so that I could try to fix it before creating ill will with the business and with the buyer.  If one of my team members did what is suspected here, I would want to know so I could handle it on my end.  Businesses that are kind enough to donate something don't deserve the headache of trying to resolve a situation they didn't create, and buyers certainly need to receive what was promised to them. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 08:19:36 PM
As someone who has been responsible for a few silent auctions in the past, I would definitely want it reported to me first so that I could try to fix it before creating ill will with the business and with the buyer.  If one of my team members did what is suspected here, I would want to know so I could handle it on my end.  Businesses that are kind enough to donate something don't deserve the headache of trying to resolve a situation they didn't create, and buyers certainly need to receive what was promised to them.

The business gave it away to somebody who didn't have the voucher and apparently after a day of suspicious behavior to tip them off - I would say they do deserve the headache of trying to resolve it, assuming the manager's story was truthful to begin with.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Girlie on November 26, 2012, 08:25:13 PM
But if the original purchaser IS the one who picked it up, he or she would have had a receipt. For a store, that's better than a voucher for proof of ownership. It's also possible that if it was a prepared dinner, it was ordered under a particular name, like, "Mrs Jane Doe for First Baptist Churh Silent Auction." Then the store would have new on the lookout for Jane Doe OR for someone who asked for the Silent Auction turkey dinner OR who had the voucher.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 26, 2012, 08:26:17 PM
I don't think guessing on what happened to the dinner would be fruitfull.  I'd contact the church, let them know what happened and ask for them to remedy the situation.

How would they do that? I mean, do they hire a private detective to track down the person who got the turkey?  Why would this be their responsiblity and not the store's?

The buyer of a auction item  for charity should not be responsible for resolving the issue.  The church knows who donated the item, even if it was the store who donated the item.  They would also be the only ones who have the records to indicate who was the authorized buyer.  So yes, it is their responsibility to follow up with the store to resolve the problem. 

I'm not sure why you felt the need to seem snarky with your private detective comment.

I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely not sure how else they would track down who got the dinner.  Yes they know who donated it - I don't know that there is any evidence that the donor was the person who picked it up.  The business is the one who basically gave a dinner to somebody who didn't have any sort of voucher for it.  The church could call and say "We expect you so honor your coupon/voucher/whatever" but how on earth would you expect them to be able to find out more about who got the turkey from the deli than the deli who saw the person and handed it to them?

No where do I state they should try to track down the person who picked up the dinner.  I stated I saw no value in trying to guess who the culprit was.  I only stare the church should be responsible for providing a remedy.  That could either be refunding the money or working with the deli to provide a replacement dinner.  I guess the church could waste time trying to identify the turkey thief but I doubt they'd be able to unless the deli kept some type of record.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 08:35:11 PM
I would hope the deli would make it right anyway.  Ithink part of the problem I see is that OP mentioned public shaming as part of her idea of making it right.  There seems to be the assumtion that it is the donor and that it is important that her reputation takes a hit through the church in the process of making it right.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Lynn2000 on November 26, 2012, 08:39:16 PM
I also think this is really interesting.

I think I would go to the store first, with the idea that they need to honor their voucher, even if it costs them money due to some kind of confusion on their end. The point is to actually obtain a turkey dinner, or equivalent cash/store credit, right? So if I go directly to the store and I obtain my item, I don't necessarily care who the "turkey thief" is, or what investigations happen behind the scenes after I leave.

If the store won't honor the voucher in some way, then I think I would need to go to the church, and explain that I either need another document the store will honor, or I need my auction check back. Whichever is easier. And again, once I've got my item/money, let someone else sort it out behind the scenes. (Although personally I would be VERY curious to know what was going on!)

For me, $50 is not make-or-break money, but it is too much for me to just write it off.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: yokozbornak on November 26, 2012, 08:50:41 PM
As someone who has been responsible for a few silent auctions in the past, I would definitely want it reported to me first so that I could try to fix it before creating ill will with the business and with the buyer.  If one of my team members did what is suspected here, I would want to know so I could handle it on my end.  Businesses that are kind enough to donate something don't deserve the headache of trying to resolve a situation they didn't create, and buyers certainly need to receive what was promised to them.

The business gave it away to somebody who didn't have the voucher and apparently after a day of suspicious behavior to tip them off - I would say they do deserve the headache of trying to resolve it, assuming the manager's story was truthful to begin with.

While the deli shouldn't have given it away, there seems to be some shenanigans going on with someone involved with the auction.  That makes the church look bad to both the business who donated nd the person who bought it.  I would rather refund the money personally to the person who made the bid rather than embarrass the church even further.  I would also want to know so I could attempt to find out who picked up the food so they would never be involved in another auction again.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 09:01:35 PM
That is assuming the manager was truthful in his answer to OP's sis.  If we are looking ofr shenaningans it might be just as easy to look at a manager who first didn't know anything about the dinner, then was able to report there were repeated inquiries and and that the dinner was givne away.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 26, 2012, 09:07:09 PM
I also think this is really interesting.

I think I would go to the store first, with the idea that they need to honor their voucher, even if it costs them money due to some kind of confusion on their end. The point is to actually obtain a turkey dinner, or equivalent cash/store credit, right? So if I go directly to the store and I obtain my item, I don't necessarily care who the "turkey thief" is, or what investigations happen behind the scenes after I leave.

If the store won't honor the voucher in some way, then I think I would need to go to the church, and explain that I either need another document the store will honor, or I need my auction check back. Whichever is easier. And again, once I've got my item/money, let someone else sort it out behind the scenes. (Although personally I would be VERY curious to know what was going on!)

For me, $50 is not make-or-break money, but it is too much for me to just write it off.

Based on the OP, it didn't sound like the voucher the auction winner had was the standard voucher the deli provides.  It had rules and stipulations the manager stated were not their norm.  So to me that would indicate the voucher was actually in some way modified and might not even have been the official document provided by the deli.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 26, 2012, 09:22:11 PM
Based on the OP, it didn't sound like the voucher the auction winner had was the standard voucher the deli provides.  It had rules and stipulations the manager stated were not their norm.  So to me that would indicate the voucher was actually in some way modified and might not even have been the official document provided by the deli.

I've been wondering this too. I wonder if the donor (or possibly the church) made up a voucher themselves without the deli's knowledge. This wouldn't even have to be intentionally shady--it could have just been clueless: "Oh, surely the deli will know what's up, when the winner appears to ask for this dinner that we've already paid for!" Especially if the purchaser mentioned verbally that it was for a prize winner and figured they'd note that down somewhere. But it also might be intentionally shady.

Meanwhile, the deli has no idea the voucher exists and is just expecting someone to show up with the receipt showing they paid. The donor has this receipt and, if she is shady or is freaking out that she thinks the dinner will go to waste, picks it up without a hitch.

The manager's confusion might have been because he didn't expect anyone to show up with a voucher...because from his perspective there may never have been any voucher.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: GrammarNerd on November 26, 2012, 09:38:14 PM
OP here....thank you for all of the replies.  I can't believe the discussion this has generated!  I don't have a resolution yet, but I do have a bit more information.  I misinterpreted some of the facts slightly; this was originally told to me quickly, over lunch, so we didn't spend a lot of time on it and I just got a quick rundown of the facts.

First, this WAS for my sister's church.  I didn't realize that when I spoke with her on Saturday. My bad.

Second, what she received after the auction was a duplicate receipt and a handwritten note telling her to reference the church name.  It also contained the donor's last name. This is what she faxed to the deli manager, and seeing the donor's name is probably what jogged his memory that the woman had been calling all week and then eventually picked up the dinner.

Third, the deli manager was quite adamant that charity donations like this are NEVER done this way.  Gift cards are used. Period.  He was really puzzled as to why my sister had a duplicate receipt and a handwritten note for this.

Fourth, and I will fully admit this was sister's own fault, she didn't try to claim this until Friday.  It was then that they found the receipt with the so-called expiration date (which was, I believe, handwritten so was probably more of a product of the donor's doing rather than the deli's doing).  Their delay was probably just an oversight since things like this (auction items) didn't generally have such small windows for redemption and through their business, they're involved in a LOT of charity auctions. So my sister called the deli and said that she didn't expect them to have turkey dinners anymore, but she had this receipt for a dinner, had bought it at a church auction, and asked if she could get some chicken or something else instead.  It was then that the deli manager expressed his confusion.

Fifth, the deli manager said that the lady had been calling all during that week, not just on Thursday as I thought, inquiring as to whether or not the dinner had been redeemed.  So that kind of says to me (and my sister) that she was really looking for the dinner to not be claimed.  When Thursday rolled around, she used her original receipt and went and claimed it.  Deli manager mentioned the last name of the person who claimed it and it was the same last name that was listed as the donor on the info that my sister got.

So, this proves that there's more to the story.  My sister is not totally innocent with this in not looking at the dates better initially.  I admit that, but I believe it was an honest oversight around a busy holiday, coupled with the fact that normally, auctions didn't have such short redemption periods.  Alternately, it would indeed seem that the donor lady did try to hedge her bets about getting back the dinner that she had donated.  I didn't want to give my sister the third degree (she doesn't know that her situation is in an online forum...LOL), but it seems as though at this point, she wants to let the donor lady know that she tried to claim her dinner and realized what had transpired with the purpose of the duplicate receipt and the donor lady claiming it for herself.  She also said that she doesn't want the donor lady to get the tax credit for a donation when she really didn't 'donate' it b/c she claimed it herself.  They know the person who was in charge of the auction so they're going to talk to her to see what she says about the situation.

When it comes right down to it, though, I think it still was kind of shady of the donor lady (or maybe I like the term 'Turkey Lady' better...) to 'donate' it, but then do what she did and redeem it for herself. Just the aspect of using the duplicate receipts instead of a straight gift card (as is usually done) and having a small redemption window suggests some forethought that she wanted to try to redeem it for herself if it wasn't used by a certain day.

Also, by referencing 'public shaming' in my OP, I basically meant that someone from the church should call her and say, 'hey, this is what happened.  Why did you do this?  Now we have someone who bought this in good faith and is out $50 b/c you ate her dinner.  This is not a very Christian way to handle a donation to the church.  How are you going to make this right?'
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: kherbert05 on November 26, 2012, 09:55:59 PM
Given the update your sister needs to go the the pastor. The Pastor needs to require this woman to pay your sister back - and publicly apologize to the entire congregation for her fraud. She should never be allowed to have any position that involves her handling money for the church ever again. If she refuses the church should denounce the woman and bar her from entering the church.

$ to doughnuts - she paid for the meal with church money, expecting the "winner" to over look the date and write it off so that she could get a free Thanksgiving meal.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: doodlemor on November 26, 2012, 10:03:59 PM
Wow, GrammarNerd!  That is quite an update.  No wonder your sister was so sure about who took the food - she had the name and the report from the deli guy.

I think that your sister should request an appointment with the pastor and the person in charge of the auction and lay out her evidence.  Different denominations deal with chicanery in different ways.  I certainly hope that her church will never let this woman have anything to do with money or finances again.  I'm sure that this isn't the first time that she stole, and I doubt that it will be the last.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 26, 2012, 10:08:25 PM
Given the update your sister needs to go the the pastor. The Pastor needs to require this woman to pay your sister back - and publicly apologize to the entire congregation for her fraud. She should never be allowed to have any position that involves her handling money for the church ever again. If she refuses the church should denounce the woman and bar her from entering the church.

$ to doughnuts - she paid for the meal with church money, expecting the "winner" to over look the date and write it off so that she could get a free Thanksgiving meal.

according to OP she donated it.  Accusing her of using church funds is a bit OTT.  It does sound like she behaved out of line. Talking to the pastor is probably a good idea, an apology to sis would be nice, a public apology to the congregation under threat of baishment - perhaps she should wear a scarlet letter during that process?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Deetee on November 26, 2012, 10:20:08 PM
I think the sister has the right to be seriously annoyed. I don't hold her responsible for missing the deadline. It was odd and unclear and outside of the norm.

She can talk to the church and hopefully theu can sort it out.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Rusty on November 26, 2012, 10:54:29 PM
Can you be absolutely sure that the "Turkey Dinner" was not just sold when it looked as if noone was going to pick it up.   It seems a bit strange to me that they would not require proof on pickup, either the coupon or some form of evidence that they were the rightful owner of the Dinner.   I used to do a lot of fundraising for my son's scout group and one time I obtained a voucher for a dinner for two at a local hotel.  These were kept by the secretary of the Group and then on the fundraising day had disappeared. I remembered that I had obtained it and so rang the hotel and told them not to honour it (I had stamped it with the Scout Group Logo.  They rang me back and told me it had been presented and also had a signature on it  (of one of the committee members).   When I queried the said member I was told that as all committee work was unpaid they felt entitled to take the voucher!   Didn't go down too well when the President stood up at next committee meeting and asked said member for reimbursement.  Should have seen the look on her face.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Rusty on November 26, 2012, 10:59:36 PM
Sorry, hadn't read the update properly.  The whole thing sounds very confusing.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: sourwolf on November 26, 2012, 11:01:58 PM
Can you be absolutely sure that the "Turkey Dinner" was not just sold when it looked as if noone was going to pick it up.   It seems a bit strange to me that they would not require proof on pickup, either the coupon or some form of evidence that they were the rightful owner of the Dinner.   I used to do a lot of fundraising for my son's scout group and one time I obtained a voucher for a dinner for two at a local hotel.  These were kept by the secretary of the Group and then on the fundraising day had disappeared. I remembered that I had obtained it and so rang the hotel and told them not to honour it (I had stamped it with the Scout Group Logo.  They rang me back and told me it had been presented and also had a signature on it  (of one of the committee members).   When I queried the said member I was told that as all committee work was unpaid they felt entitled to take the voucher!   Didn't go down too well when the President stood up at next committee meeting and asked said member for reimbursement.  Should have seen the look on her face.

I know the update was long but it did answer all of your questions and "what ifs."


Fifth, the deli manager said that the lady had been calling all during that week, not just on Thursday as I thought, inquiring as to whether or not the dinner had been redeemed.  So that kind of says to me (and my sister) that she was really looking for the dinner to not be claimed.  When Thursday rolled around, she used her original receipt and went and claimed it.  Deli manager mentioned the last name of the person who claimed it and it was the same last name that was listed as the donor on the info that my sister got.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 26, 2012, 11:03:58 PM
Can you be absolutely sure that the "Turkey Dinner" was not just sold when it looked as if noone was going to pick it up.   It seems a bit strange to me that they would not require proof on pickup, either the coupon or some form of evidence that they were the rightful owner of the Dinner.   

The deli was given the original receipt as proof. The person who claimed it was the same person who purchased it in the first place.

The deli never knew this was an auction item. They just thought some woman had called in an advance order for herself--which I doubt is unusual--and probably wondered why she was calling so much about it--and probably chalked it up to a family having poor communication amongst themselves or something.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Iris on November 27, 2012, 12:37:03 AM
This is fascinating! Posting for updates :)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CluelessBride on November 27, 2012, 02:03:32 AM
From the update, it sounds like your sister also dropped the ball by missing the deadline.  Even if the deadline was unusual, unexpected and a little short, it sounds like it was still listed with the coupon she picked up. I don't blame her for missing it (I've done similar), but I also don't think anyone is necessarily required to honor an expired coupon/gift certificate - even if she bought it in a charity auction.  So if it were me I wouldn't expect the coupon to be honored or the bid to be refunded.

However, that doesn't excuse the donor's shadiness. She donated the item. It sold. Picking up the turkey dinner, even if would have otherwise gone to waste, was taking something that wasn't hers - and that's not okay. It's doubly off-putting because of the connection to charity. And because it sounds like this was a non-typical coupon for this store, it makes it seem like she went out of her way to steal back her own donation.  And so I would definitely give the organizer a heads up on what happened. I would approach it as "I know it's my fault I missed the deadline to use the coupon, and I don't expect a refund because I want to support the church fundraiser, but I wanted to let you know the details of what happened because I find the situation off-putting and am concerned that this type of donation scenario may discourage other donors."
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: cicero on November 27, 2012, 02:13:30 AM
Wow, GrammarNerd!  That is quite an update.  No wonder your sister was so sure about who took the food - she had the name and the report from the deli guy.

I think that your sister should request an appointment with the pastor and the person in charge of the auction and lay out her evidence.  Different denominations deal with chicanery in different ways.  I certainly hope that her church will never let this woman have anything to do with money or finances again.  I'm sure that this isn't the first time that she stole, and I doubt that it will be the last.

absolutely.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 07:02:45 AM
From the update, it sounds like your sister also dropped the ball by missing the deadline.  Even if the deadline was unusual, unexpected and a little short, it sounds like it was still listed with the coupon she picked up. I don't blame her for missing it (I've done similar), but I also don't think anyone is necessarily required to honor an expired coupon/gift certificate - even if she bought it in a charity auction.  So if it were me I wouldn't expect the coupon to be honored or the bid to be refunded.

True, and I think this is what TurkeyLady was counting on--that when OP's sister saw the note, she'd realize she missed the "deadline" and give it up as lost. In reality, I don't think there was ever a deadline from the store's end. It was just part of the plan to make it harder for sis to claim it.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Jones on November 27, 2012, 07:26:07 AM
I am wondering if the receipt itself had the store deadline ("30 days" or some such) and the sister just looked at the official deadline, not whatever handwritten note from the donor that accompanied it. It's logical to assume the store is going to honor a sale withing THEIR deadline, not some third party's deadline.


OP, I don't think the dinner was 'stolen' like in your title...I think it was flat out stolen.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 07:43:30 AM
I am wondering if the receipt itself had the store deadline ("30 days" or some such) and the sister just looked at the official deadline, not whatever handwritten note from the donor that accompanied it. It's logical to assume the store is going to honor a sale withing THEIR deadline, not some third party's deadline.

And a lot of people eat turkey for Christmas too--I also wondered if sis figured she'd use it for the later holiday, rather than the one just a few days away that she likely already had food planned for, until she found TurkeyLady's handwritten note with "deadline."
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Zilla on November 27, 2012, 07:48:28 AM
I am wondering if the receipt itself had the store deadline ("30 days" or some such) and the sister just looked at the official deadline, not whatever handwritten note from the donor that accompanied it. It's logical to assume the store is going to honor a sale withing THEIR deadline, not some third party's deadline.

And a lot of people eat turkey for Christmas too--I also wondered if sis figured she'd use it for the later holiday, rather than the one just a few days away that she likely already had food planned for, until she found TurkeyLady's handwritten note with "deadline."

If it's the dinners that I am thinking of, it does have to be paid and ordered for.  The deli will hold it in their refrigerators for a short time.  So Friday wouldn't be completely farfetched to get it.  However this church lady was hoping to get both a free donation write off AND dinner.
Echoing the other posters, I would contact the pastor and let them know you are out both the monies and dinner.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 07:52:24 AM
I am wondering if the receipt itself had the store deadline ("30 days" or some such) and the sister just looked at the official deadline, not whatever handwritten note from the donor that accompanied it. It's logical to assume the store is going to honor a sale withing THEIR deadline, not some third party's deadline.

And a lot of people eat turkey for Christmas too--I also wondered if sis figured she'd use it for the later holiday, rather than the one just a few days away that she likely already had food planned for, until she found TurkeyLady's handwritten note with "deadline."

If it's the dinners that I am thinking of, it does have to be paid and ordered for.  The deli will hold it in their refrigerators for a short time.  So Friday wouldn't be completely farfetched to get it.  However this church lady was hoping to get both a free donation write off AND dinner.
Echoing the other posters, I would contact the pastor and let them know you are out both the monies and dinner.

OK, that makes sense. I wasn't picturing it already made, but that the winner could call in and have it made to order, basically. If it's already made, then there probably was a store deadline. Maybe it even was really Thursday. But yeah, the lady was totally shady.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 08:05:32 AM
I am wondering if the receipt itself had the store deadline ("30 days" or some such) and the sister just looked at the official deadline, not whatever handwritten note from the donor that accompanied it. It's logical to assume the store is going to honor a sale withing THEIR deadline, not some third party's deadline.

And a lot of people eat turkey for Christmas too--I also wondered if sis figured she'd use it for the later holiday, rather than the one just a few days away that she likely already had food planned for, until she found TurkeyLady's handwritten note with "deadline."

According to OP she kind of assumed originally it would be the value of a Turkey Dinner.  It sounds like when she did call she iasked or intended to ask if she could substitute a chicken dinner instead,
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Zilla on November 27, 2012, 08:27:51 AM
I am wondering if the receipt itself had the store deadline ("30 days" or some such) and the sister just looked at the official deadline, not whatever handwritten note from the donor that accompanied it. It's logical to assume the store is going to honor a sale withing THEIR deadline, not some third party's deadline.

And a lot of people eat turkey for Christmas too--I also wondered if sis figured she'd use it for the later holiday, rather than the one just a few days away that she likely already had food planned for, until she found TurkeyLady's handwritten note with "deadline."

If it's the dinners that I am thinking of, it does have to be paid and ordered for.  The deli will hold it in their refrigerators for a short time.  So Friday wouldn't be completely farfetched to get it.  However this church lady was hoping to get both a free donation write off AND dinner.
Echoing the other posters, I would contact the pastor and let them know you are out both the monies and dinner.

OK, that makes sense. I wasn't picturing it already made, but that the winner could call in and have it made to order, basically. If it's already made, then there probably was a store deadline. Maybe it even was really Thursday. But yeah, the lady was totally shady.
 
And the deadline isn't specifically locked till Thursday, I have seen it till Sunday.  Honestly, the lady did it with that intention to begin with.  You can buy the dinners with a gift card or a certificate, and then the winner calls it in whenever and that deadline is from November till December. (any holidays in those months)  The lady went above and beyond to make it so specific and making it ordered and paid for, that it's suspect.  And the deli manager's reaction to that shows how odd that was.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 27, 2012, 08:35:50 AM
I am wondering if the receipt itself had the store deadline ("30 days" or some such) and the sister just looked at the official deadline, not whatever handwritten note from the donor that accompanied it. It's logical to assume the store is going to honor a sale withing THEIR deadline, not some third party's deadline.

And a lot of people eat turkey for Christmas too--I also wondered if sis figured she'd use it for the later holiday, rather than the one just a few days away that she likely already had food planned for, until she found TurkeyLady's handwritten note with "deadline."

If it's the dinners that I am thinking of, it does have to be paid and ordered for.  The deli will hold it in their refrigerators for a short time.  So Friday wouldn't be completely farfetched to get it.  However this church lady was hoping to get both a free donation write off AND dinner.
Echoing the other posters, I would contact the pastor and let them know you are out both the monies and dinner.

OK, that makes sense. I wasn't picturing it already made, but that the winner could call in and have it made to order, basically. If it's already made, then there probably was a store deadline. Maybe it even was really Thursday. But yeah, the lady was totally shady.
 
And the deadline isn't specifically locked till Thursday, I have seen it till Sunday.  Honestly, the lady did it with that intention to begin with.  You can buy the dinners with a gift card or a certificate, and then the winner calls it in whenever and that deadline is from November till December. (any holidays in those months)  The lady went above and beyond to make it so specific and making it ordered and paid for, that it's suspect.  And the deli manager's reaction to that shows how odd that was.

I agree totally, there was no reason for her to put such a tight deadline on it.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: cheyne on November 27, 2012, 08:37:18 AM
The deli wouldn't have hand-written an expiration date on the photocopied receipt.  The deli manager himself said this is never done-a gift card is given to be used by the auction winner.

Turkey Lady needs to be called on the carpet for this.  I think the donation aspect of this has clouded the issue.  OP's sister needs to get her $50. returned.  She did not make a "donation" she purchased a product from the church. 

Bottom line is this:  OP's sister paid the church $50. for a product she did not receive because of the [illegal, immoral] actions of another associated with the church.  The church being the "middle man" for said transaction needs to step up and make this right.  If they do not do this, I would never again purchase anything on an auction (or donate one penny) and would be looking for a different church.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 09:05:06 AM
She also didn't get it because she didn't try until after the deadline.  The deadline was unusual and really soon after purchase, that is true, but whether it is normally done or not doesn't matter.  It was done this time, it was there for her to see, she didn't act until after it passed.  That is a factor.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: sourwolf on November 27, 2012, 09:13:55 AM
She also didn't get it because she didn't try until after the deadline.  The deadline was unusual and really soon after purchase, that is true, but whether it is normally done or not doesn't matter.  It was done this time, it was there for her to see, she didn't act until after it passed.  That is a factor.

But that was an artificial deadline created by the woman who purchased/stole the turkey dinner, the deli had nothing to do with it and if the dinner hadn't been stolen the sister would have been able to still get it.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: NyaChan on November 27, 2012, 09:21:07 AM
If I were your sister, I would mentally accept that I failed to redeem my prize within the deadline made clear on what I had as a coupon.  That is of course, only if I knew that the photocopy receipt would have been accepted by the store to get a turkey dinner had I gone in the time frame specified (yes, I get that it wasn't set by the store).  I would then go to the church and explain what happened in a "hey I think you should know that when this was donated, it was done in this way and here is what happened" sort of mind frame.  They should know that this donor went out of their way to set up the donation so that they could benefit if the buyer didn't come through in time so that they can either prevent such donations in the future or warn people that deadlines set on the items are not flexible. 

I think this lady wanted to specifically gift a Thanksgiving Dinner, but realized for whatever reason that the gift card wouldn't guarantee that timeframe or that people may not pick up their actual prize.  Seeing an opportunity to not be out $50 while still looking charitable, she decided to literally buy a turkey dinner and then take it for herself, if the person didn't show.  I think that this was wrong, as the sister paid for it, but the missing of the deadline makes it murky, more so if the sister was aware of the deadline before the purchase (did she?).  This isn't the store's fault, though I think their hinky meters should have been going off.  It is the fault of the lady and perhaps the church if they did know what she was up to. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 09:26:37 AM
She also didn't get it because she didn't try until after the deadline.  The deadline was unusual and really soon after purchase, that is true, but whether it is normally done or not doesn't matter.  It was done this time, it was there for her to see, she didn't act until after it passed.  That is a factor.

The deadline wasn't created by the store though--it was on a separate piece of paper in the donor's handwriting. It's possible that the copy of the receipt had a different deadline on it, or that it had no deadline on it, and that sis just didn't examine the handwritten note carefully because it was separate.

Sis does bear some responsibility for missing the deadline, but I don't think the store even knew the deadline existed, so I can't be too judgmental about that. I feel like the deadline-missing is sort of cancelled out by it being a phony deadline in the first place.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 27, 2012, 09:34:23 AM
Regardless of the real or made-up deadline, the fact remains that according to the deli manager, the lady who bought (and apparently donated) the turkey dinner redeemed it herself when she clearly had no right to. And it appears that since she kept the receipt and only gave the winner (OP's sis) a photocopy, she had every intention of doing exactly this in anticipation of the winner either intentionally or unintentionally not picking up the dinner.

This is what needs to be brought to the attention of, at minimum, the organizer of the church auction.

And the organizer, if they want to do the right thing, should refund the money to the OP's sister and then take any further action regarding the purchaser/donor as deemed necessary, without further involving the OP's sister.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 09:37:20 AM
Regardless of the real or made-up deadline, the fact remains that according to the deli manager, the lady who bought (and apparently donated) the turkey dinner redeemed it herself when she clearly had no right to. And it appears that since she kept the receipt and only gave the winner (OP's sis) a photocopy, she had every intention of doing exactly this in anticipation of the winner either intentionally or unintentionally not picking up the dinner.

This. And really, if she was simply concerned about whether the winner would miss the deadline, you'd think maybe she'd contact the church or the sister and remind them about it, rather than just yoinking and eating it herself.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: rose red on November 27, 2012, 10:00:05 AM
Regardless of the real or made-up deadline, the fact remains that according to the deli manager, the lady who bought (and apparently donated) the turkey dinner redeemed it herself when she clearly had no right to. And it appears that since she kept the receipt and only gave the winner (OP's sis) a photocopy, she had every intention of doing exactly this in anticipation of the winner either intentionally or unintentionally not picking up the dinner.

This. And really, if she was simply concerned about whether the winner would miss the deadline, you'd think maybe she'd contact the church or the sister and remind them about it, rather than just yoinking and eating it herself.

Yup.  If someone doesn't pick up their prize, you don't call the store every day and swoop in the second the clock on the deadline dings.  You call the winner and ask if they are still interested in the prize.

The OP's sister need to go to the pastor because stuff like this gets out, and this woman's actions is tainting the church and it's charities.  Not that I believe the sister would spread rumors, but in her shoes, I would warn the next "winner" of this woman's donations and the consequences of her made-up rules of missed deadlines. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 10:03:40 AM
They might want to work on the way they describe their auction itmes as well.  Make sure people know this is specific, mention any deadlines, etc.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: cheyne on November 27, 2012, 10:34:49 AM
Silent or regular auctions for charity don't work the way it is described here.  I have been involved with several in the past.  We either bought the products or asked local businesses to donate goods/services for the charitable cause.  Once the item has been donated, the person donating the item has nothing more to do with the item.  It is up to the purchaser and business to redeem the item.

Example:  I bought 2 rounds of golf at a charity auction for a friend with cancer.  I was given a voucher for the golf which I redeemed at my leisure the next summer.  The organizers of the charity had no say in when, where or how I redeemed the voucher.  They didn't "check-up" to make sure I had done it within the time frame on the voucher, nor did anyone call me or the golf course to see if I had redeemed it. 

When a person buys a good/service and donates it to a charity for auction, that person has NO claim on the good/service.  The money has been paid to the business by the donator, the person purchasing the donated goods has paid the charity and it is soley up to the purchaser to redeem the item/service.  In this instance there was no reason for Turkey Lady (TL) to have anything at all to do with the redemption of the Turkey Dinner.  That she did in fact photocopy and hand write an "expiration date" on the photocopied receipt show me that she was dishonest in her donation and had intent of taking the donation for herself. 

OP's sister needs to contact the committee at her church that runs the charitable auctions and report what happened.  Take the receipt with her, and ask for her money back.  OP Sister has been "ripped-off" by TL and TL needs to make good on her "donation" to the church by paying the church the $50. that they should give back to OP's sister.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 10:41:00 AM
I agree that I have never seen auctions work that way.  Then again, if something like a turkey dinner has been auctioned I have alwyas assumed that is exactly what is being auctioned so the experiences of sis and the deli manager are a bit different, too.  In a silent auction you'd be able to see exactly what was for auction, including deadlines and descriptions.  In a regular auction they would describe the deal and include deadlines and limits. It seems like the system could use some tweeking here.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LazyDaisy on November 27, 2012, 11:19:37 AM
I agree with what Sharnita and NyaChan have said, the auction item was specifically a Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner from Deli -- not just a $50 gift card. Lots of places around me sell a preset Thanksgiving dinner and of course it needs to be picked up before Thanksgiving is over. Turkey Lady certainly shouldn't have picked up the dinner -- that is stealing; but for all we know, she took it to a homeless shelter not ate it herself. If that was her plan all along, first off that's just bat-poo crazy (buy a dinner pretend to donate to charity then steal it back -- why?! If she really wanted that dinner, well buy it and take it home), secondly she certainly gambled big on not having a TG dinner at all if Sister had been more observant.

I'm very surprised though at everyone saying Sister should get a refund from the church. This was a charity auction. Items are donated. To me it's no different than if someone donated a poorly knitted sweater that unraveled after one wear -- you don't take it back to the church and demand a refund or exchange for your "purchase". You might learn to be more wary about bidding on items, but a charity is not the same as a retail store with a warranty or refund policy. Sister can certainly let them know about the shady donor and problem with the deli to prevent future issues, but to expect the church to refund a donation because she isn't satisfied by the deli is outrageous to me.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 11:33:34 AM
Actually, it strikes me as kind of odd that the retail value and winning bid were apparently about the same.  Most charity auctions I have been to, that is not the case either somebody gets a huge deal - a $100 dinner for about $50 or people really bid up on the item because it is charity and so they will pay double the retail value because it is going to charity.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 11:42:28 AM
Quote
Actually, it strikes me as kind of odd that the retail value and winning bid were apparently about the same.  Most charity auctions I have been to, that is not the case either somebody gets a huge deal - a $100 dinner for about $50 or people really bid up on the item because it is charity and so they will pay double the retail value because it is going to charity.

You know, I hadn't thought of that, but you're right.  That is kinda odd.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: cheyne on November 27, 2012, 11:45:15 AM
I agree with what Sharnita and NyaChan have said, the auction item was specifically a Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner from Deli -- not just a $50 gift card. Lots of places around me sell a preset Thanksgiving dinner and of course it needs to be picked up before Thanksgiving is over. Turkey Lady certainly shouldn't have picked up the dinner -- that is stealing; but for all we know, she took it to a homeless shelter not ate it herself. If that was her plan all along, first off that's just bat-poo crazy (buy a dinner pretend to donate to charity then steal it back -- why?! If she really wanted that dinner, well buy it and take it home), secondly she certainly gambled big on not having a TG dinner at all if Sister had been more observant.

I'm very surprised though at everyone saying Sister should get a refund from the church. This was a charity auction. Items are donated. To me it's no different than if someone donated a poorly knitted sweater that unraveled after one wear -- you don't take it back to the church and demand a refund or exchange for your "purchase". You might learn to be more wary about bidding on items, but a charity is not the same as a retail store with a warranty or refund policy. Sister can certainly let them know about the shady donor and problem with the deli to prevent future issues, but to expect the church to refund a donation because she isn't satisfied by the deli is outrageous to me.

The bolded is exactly what Turkey Lady did.  She did not give OP's sister the original receipt, but a photocopy with a hand written "expiration date" that she wrote on the receipt herself.  The deli has no obligation to refund the price to OP's sister, nor does the church.  But I believe the church has the responsibility to contact Turkey Lady and tell her that they know what she did and that Turkey Lady needs to refund OP's sister (or the church as an intermediary) to make this right.  The OP's sister should not be out $50. because Turkey Lady put a fake expiration date on a photocopied receipt.  OP's sister won the auction fairly and should not be responsible for the fraud perpetrated by Turkey Lady.





Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Zilla on November 27, 2012, 11:45:51 AM
I agree with what Sharnita and NyaChan have said, the auction item was specifically a Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner from Deli -- not just a $50 gift card. Lots of places around me sell a preset Thanksgiving dinner and of course it needs to be picked up before Thanksgiving is over. Turkey Lady certainly shouldn't have picked up the dinner -- that is stealing; but for all we know, she took it to a homeless shelter not ate it herself. If that was her plan all along, first off that's just bat-poo crazy (buy a dinner pretend to donate to charity then steal it back -- why?! If she really wanted that dinner, well buy it and take it home), secondly she certainly gambled big on not having a TG dinner at all if Sister had been more observant.

I'm very surprised though at everyone saying Sister should get a refund from the church. This was a charity auction. Items are donated. To me it's no different than if someone donated a poorly knitted sweater that unraveled after one wear -- you don't take it back to the church and demand a refund or exchange for your "purchase". You might learn to be more wary about bidding on items, but a charity is not the same as a retail store with a warranty or refund policy. Sister can certainly let them know about the shady donor and problem with the deli to prevent future issues, but to expect the church to refund a donation because she isn't satisfied by the deli is outrageous to me.
The lady that donated it got a tax write off AND to look good to her church that she donated something.  So she is further benefiting by placing very narrow specifications on it and hedging her bets. 
The church got the $50 cash from the OP's sister.  The sister did not get the dinner because the person who donated it picked it up instead.  If the sister had gone to the store and they told her no because she didn't meet the deadline, then that's a different story.  But the store told her no because it was already picked up.  That's why she should contact the church.  Your example of the unraveled sweater doesn't compare to the Op's sister's scenario.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Shoo on November 27, 2012, 11:47:09 AM
Actually, it strikes me as kind of odd that the retail value and winning bid were apparently about the same.  Most charity auctions I have been to, that is not the case either somebody gets a huge deal - a $100 dinner for about $50 or people really bid up on the item because it is charity and so they will pay double the retail value because it is going to charity.

I've seen it happen when the item up for bid isn't something a lot of (or any) people are interested in.  A Thanksgiving meal available during the week of Thanksgiving when people look forward to cooking their own or dining with friends/family could possibly be one of those things that nobody wants.  I saw it several times in a silent auction my daughter's softball team held 2 weeks ago.  Several items received no bids whatsoever.

So when that happens, the starting bid either gets lowered or someone comes along and bids the minimum amount and wins it.  I bet that happened in this case.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Zilla on November 27, 2012, 11:48:20 AM
Quote
Actually, it strikes me as kind of odd that the retail value and winning bid were apparently about the same.  Most charity auctions I have been to, that is not the case either somebody gets a huge deal - a $100 dinner for about $50 or people really bid up on the item because it is charity and so they will pay double the retail value because it is going to charity.

You know, I hadn't thought of that, but you're right.  That is kinda odd.
Most charity auctions I have been to will have a bin with bets and the highest bet wins.  And it's usually very close if not over the amount retailed.  Now in a regular auction is where I see it more of half of the value etc.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 11:50:16 AM
Actually, it strikes me as kind of odd that the retail value and winning bid were apparently about the same.  Most charity auctions I have been to, that is not the case either somebody gets a huge deal - a $100 dinner for about $50 or people really bid up on the item because it is charity and so they will pay double the retail value because it is going to charity.

We don't know what the bid actually was, IIRC; the OP was making a guess.

I agree with what Sharnita and NyaChan have said, the auction item was specifically a Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner from Deli -- not just a $50 gift card. Lots of places around me sell a preset Thanksgiving dinner and of course it needs to be picked up before Thanksgiving is over. Turkey Lady certainly shouldn't have picked up the dinner -- that is stealing; but for all we know, she took it to a homeless shelter not ate it herself. If that was her plan all along, first off that's just bat-poo crazy (buy a dinner pretend to donate to charity then steal it back -- why?! If she really wanted that dinner, well buy it and take it home), secondly she certainly gambled big on not having a TG dinner at all if Sister had been more observant.

I'm very surprised though at everyone saying Sister should get a refund from the church. This was a charity auction. Items are donated. To me it's no different than if someone donated a poorly knitted sweater that unraveled after one wear -- you don't take it back to the church and demand a refund or exchange for your "purchase". You might learn to be more wary about bidding on items, but a charity is not the same as a retail store with a warranty or refund policy. Sister can certainly let them know about the shady donor and problem with the deli to prevent future issues, but to expect the church to refund a donation because she isn't satisfied by the deli is outrageous to me.

The bolded is exactly what Turkey Lady did.  She did not give OP's sister the original receipt, but a photocopy with a hand written "expiration date" that she wrote on the receipt herself.  The deli has no obligation to refund the price to OP's sister, nor does the church.  But I believe the church has the responsibility to contact Turkey Lady and tell her that they know what she did and that Turkey Lady needs to refund OP's sister (or the church as an intermediary) to make this right.  The OP's sister should not be out $50. because Turkey Lady put a fake expiration date on a photocopied receipt.  OP's sister won the auction fairly and should not be responsible for the fraud perpetrated by Turkey Lady.

And as for the why, I wonder if she had just ordered it for herself right before the auction, then realized she'd forgotten to buy something for the auction and maybe was out of money and/or time at that point--and improvised, hoping it would never be redeemed anyway.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Virg on November 27, 2012, 11:50:29 AM
LazyDaisy wrote:

"I'm very surprised though at everyone saying Sister should get a refund from the church. This was a charity auction. Items are donated. To me it's no different than if someone donated a poorly knitted sweater that unraveled after one wear -- you don't take it back to the church and demand a refund or exchange for your "purchase".  You might learn to be more wary about bidding on items, but a charity is not the same as a retail store with a warranty or refund policy. Sister can certainly let them know about the shady donor and problem with the deli to prevent future issues, but to expect the church to refund a donation because she isn't satisfied by the deli is outrageous to me."

This isn't the same as getting a substandard item in the auction, which would be more like winning a turkey dinner and then not liking the taste of the food.  She entered and won and then did not get anything, so it would be more like someone donating a sweater, the OP winning it and then getting an empty sweater box after she'd paid for it.  Because the church held the auction, it's on them to make sure that the people who won actually get what they won or they should be giving her money back.  There's nothing outrageous about expecting to get more than a useless photocopy of a receipt when you're bidding for a turkey dinner, because the church certainly couldn't have expected people to bid on a receipt.

Virg
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 11:52:48 AM
The chariy auctions I've been to have been regular auctions.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sophia on November 27, 2012, 12:02:49 PM
My mother handles the prizes given out at a charity auction.  She gets prizes from businesses, and people also donate stuff. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LazyDaisy on November 27, 2012, 12:12:44 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions. Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: wolfie on November 27, 2012, 12:16:05 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions. Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.

For me when I buy something from a charity it is because I wanted the item and that it benefits a charity is a bonus. If I just wanted to donate money I would have done that. It's quite possible that the sister wouldn't have donated the money but thought that a turkey dinner with it would then be worth it. I doubt the church will get many bids in future actions if it comes out that you can pay the money but it's not guaranteed that you will actually get what you bid on.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 12:27:40 PM
Quote
I doubt the church will get many bids in future actions if it comes out that you can pay the money but it's not guaranteed that you will actually get what you bid on.

This is the key point.  Sweater example or this turkey one, the fact is that the auction didn't deliver what it said it would.  Future auction goers are not going to want to bid on something if it's not a guarantee they'll actually get the item they've bid on.  The church does have some responsibility here.  Even if that's just to protect their future auctions and make sure that something like this doesn't happen again to the point that they don't get any bidders on what they have.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Zilla on November 27, 2012, 12:33:37 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions (http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions). Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/ (http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/)

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.
Again you are speaking around the issue.  Calling it outrageous doesn't negate that fact that the OP's sister did not receive her item she paid for regardless if it was for charity.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 27, 2012, 12:34:51 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions. Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.

I'm not understanding the point your trying to make about taxes.  I haven't seen anyone say the purchaser (the sister) would be able to claim her purchase as a tax write off.  What I saw was people saying the donar who spent the money for the dinner and then donated it would be able to write off the value of the donation.  And she would be able to write off the amount that she spent.  If she spent $100 for the dinner but someone only paid $50 for it, she would still be able to claim the full $100 donation. 

The fact remains the donor created an arbitrary date for the donation.  As far as anyone on this board is aware, the only place that date was listed was on the receipt the buyer would not have received until after bidding on and winning the auction.  The auction item could have been described as "Full Turkey Dinner from Great Deli"  value of $50 minimum bid $20 with no expiration dates given.

Yes the sister should have fully checked out the receipt when it was received.  But it sounds like she has had some experience with this deli and their gift card practices since her expectation was similar to the managers. 

I used to attend the same auction every year and every year local restaurant donated "Dinner for 4" Value of $200.  But it was well known that you were receiving a gift card for $200 and could choose to use it for lunch, dinner, brunch and spread it over a couple of visits if you liked.  If purchased it, it wouldn't occur to me to immediately check out the document I received and I would have been extremely suprised if it expired within the week I purchased the auction item. 

If the church chooses to not offer a remedy, that is their choice.  But I do think the auction organizer needs to be aware so they can 1)be more clear about any expiration dates on their acution material, 2)find out why the donar felt she had the right to pick up a donated item.  It very well could be that the donar was a worry wart and hated the idea that the meal would be left unclaimed so picked it up and took it to a shelter but someone needs to talk to her about her doing that.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Redneck Gravy on November 27, 2012, 12:42:17 PM


If the church chooses to not offer a remedy, that is their choice.  But I do think the auction organizer needs to be aware so they can 1)be more clear about any expiration dates on their acution material, 2)find out why the donar felt she had the right to pick up a donated item.  It very well could be that the donar was a worry wart and hated the idea that the meal would be left unclaimed so picked it up and took it to a shelter but someone needs to talk to her about her doing that.[/quote]

This.   

Now, if sister paid $50 for an auction item she did not actually receive it is a tax deductible item if she meets the other requirements (itemizing, etc).
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 27, 2012, 12:44:00 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions (http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions). Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/ (http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/)

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.
Again you are speaking around the issue.  Calling it outrageous doesn't negate that fact that the OP's sister did not receive her item she paid for regardless if it was for charity.
And the fact that something fishy is going on with a Church related function. I'm sure when people think that they are going to get a bait and switch, Church is the last place they would think of. And until the OP's sister gets word otherwise, all fingers point towards that.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: HermioneGranger on November 27, 2012, 12:44:12 PM
I'd call the church and ask for a replacement or a refund, being as they didn't receive what they had rightfully won and paid for.  If they refused, well, that's what the church gossip mill is for...   >:D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 27, 2012, 12:50:29 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions (http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions). Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/ (http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/)

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.

So by your logic, any charitable organization can offer anything they want in exchange for a donation but has no obligation to actually follow through and make good on their promise. Because, after all, it's outrageous to demand a refund for a charitable donation.

I don't think I can agree with that.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 12:55:17 PM
OP, am I right in thinking that up until late Thursday sis could have walked in and redeemed her Turkey dinner? That wo uld be when TL got it?  Aand then sis tried to get it?  If that is the case then it is tricky.  It isn't like the church didn't follow htrough at all.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LazyDaisy on November 27, 2012, 12:56:45 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions. Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.

I'm not understanding the point your trying to make about taxes. I haven't seen anyone say the purchaser (the sister) would be able to claim her purchase as a tax write off.  What I saw was people saying the donar who spent the money for the dinner and then donated it would be able to write off the value of the donation.  And she would be able to write off the amount that she spent.  If she spent $100 for the dinner but someone only paid $50 for it, she would still be able to claim the full $100 donation. 

The fact remains the donor created an arbitrary date for the donation.  As far as anyone on this board is aware, the only place that date was listed was on the receipt the buyer would not have received until after bidding on and winning the auction.  The auction item could have been described as "Full Turkey Dinner from Great Deli"  value of $50 minimum bid $20 with no expiration dates given.

Yes the sister should have fully checked out the receipt when it was received.  But it sounds like she has had some experience with this deli and their gift card practices since her expectation was similar to the managers. 

I used to attend the same auction every year and every year local restaurant donated "Dinner for 4" Value of $200.  But it was well known that you were receiving a gift card for $200 and could choose to use it for lunch, dinner, brunch and spread it over a couple of visits if you liked.  If purchased it, it wouldn't occur to me to immediately check out the document I received and I would have been extremely suprised if it expired within the week I purchased the auction item. 

If the church chooses to not offer a remedy, that is their choice.  But I do think the auction organizer needs to be aware so they can 1)be more clear about any expiration dates on their acution material, 2)find out why the donar felt she had the right to pick up a donated item.  It very well could be that the donar was a worry wart and hated the idea that the meal would be left unclaimed so picked it up and took it to a shelter but someone needs to talk to her about her doing that.

Sorry to confuse you hmmmm, the posts are so happening so quickly I was responding to Zilla bringing up taxes and deductions in post #84 but several people posted before I could and so it seems like I'm bringing it up out of nowhere.

The donor didn't give a gift certificate for any turkey dinner at the deli anytime, it sounds like she gave a Thanksgiving Turkey dinner, and that has a specific date to redeem. We actually don't know who put the "expiration" on there -- there is lots of speculation but even the OP hasn't seen the receipt so doesn't know.

I agree totally with you on the last paragraph.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Secret on November 27, 2012, 12:58:10 PM
[/ 2)find out why the donar felt she had the right to pick up a donated item.  It very well could be that the donar was a worry wart and hated the idea that the meal would be left unclaimed so picked it up and took it to a shelter but someone needs to talk to her about her doing that.

This is what I can't understand.  If I donate an item to an auction, I consider it gone from my hands after I turn over the item/gift card.   The dinner was not hers to do ANYTHING with after TurkeyLady handed that receipt or whatever to the committee.  There was absolutely no follow up needed by someone who donated something.  I am donating a pie to a fundraiser next week.  I'm not going to follow up and see how many slices of my pie was sold and if the people who took them home actually ate them.

Something is shady here.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: scansons on November 27, 2012, 01:00:25 PM
I think sis needs to call the Turkey Lady and ask where her Turkey is.  Depending on the answer, then I would call the church and tell all.  Which is to say that unless the aliens took over her body, and made her take the turkey dinner to the homeless shelter, I'd be calling the church to explain what happened.  But I sure would want to hear it from Turkey Lady first.  It is possible there is a good reason.  I don't know what that could possibly be.  But I think the taker of the Turkey that wasn't her's needs to be the one to make good. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Lynn2000 on November 27, 2012, 01:01:25 PM
Wow, the replies are just flying... Just to follow up on what Hmmmmm said... I'm wondering when Sis could have become aware of the (very soon) expiration date for the dinner. Was it stated on the auction card that she had a chance to look at, or was she only informed of it when she was given the voucher, after she paid her money? (I know she didn't actually realize there was an expiration date until later, but I'm wondering when the first time someone could have known about it was.)

I mean, let's say I'm walking around the church auction and I see a card for "Turkey dinner from Joe's Deli, XYZ components, $50 value." No expiration date mentioned. While I might consider that there could be an expiration date, I wouldn't reasonably assume it was any time soon. So I bid and I win and I hand someone my check and in return I'm handed the voucher, and at that point, I see for the first time that the dinner must be picked up within just a few days. And that just doesn't work for me, because I'm going out of town (not unusual for Thanksgiving) or something else. Basically, the expiration date would've been an easy piece of information to include in the initial description, and if I had seen it, I wouldn't have bid on this item.

Now, maybe I decide to just let the church keep the $50, and I think of it as a pure donation that I get nothing in return for. But even so I would want to let them know that I was disappointed with the poor communication. I would think the organizers would want to know about that. Because next time there's a church auction, I'm going to be walking around looking at things and thinking, "Hmm, this is nice, but I wonder what the 'catch' might be," and I'll be less likely to bid on anything.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 27, 2012, 01:03:06 PM
OP, am I right in thinking that up until late Thursday sis could have walked in and redeemed her Turkey dinner? That wo uld be when TL got it?  Aand then sis tried to get it?  If that is the case then it is tricky.  It isn't like the church didn't follow htrough at all.

I think that the church unwittingly didn't follow through by proxy. It's certainly not the church's fault. However, the church still has a responsibility to make good on their promise. Although it's not their fault, it's still their responsibility. They take on that responsibility when they endeavor to hold the auction. And that's why I say that the OP's sister's claim is with the church. The church then theoretically has a claim with the donor which they should solve however they see fit, but without further involvement of the winner (OP's sister). But their first obligation is now to OP's sister. They either need to give her money back or make good on the turkey dinner from the deli.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LazyDaisy on November 27, 2012, 01:06:34 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions (http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions). Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/ (http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/)

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.

So by your logic, any charitable organization can offer anything they want in exchange for a donation but has no obligation to actually follow through and make good on their promise. Because, after all, it's outrageous to demand a refund for a charitable donation.

I don't think I can agree with that.
You have made a interesting giant leap from an incident of a Turkey dinner at a church charity auction to all charities everywhere. That's a bit OTT. I can imaging being outraged enough to want my donation back if I found out that the charity work was a fraud -- the money going for a trip to the Bahamas instead of the homeless for instance, but I can't imagine demanding my money back because an auction item wasn't sufficient or even delivered. I support charities, and I buy retail items. The two are totally separate financial transactions for me.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 01:08:14 PM
The donor didn't give a gift certificate for any turkey dinner at the deli anytime, it sounds like she gave a Thanksgiving Turkey dinner, and that has a specific date to redeem.

It was not specifically stated as a "Thanksgiving dinner" anywhere that I know of from reading the thread. People eat turkey dinners for other occasions too, and sis might have assumed it could be redeemed for, say, Christmas dinner instead of Thanksgiving. (And then she came up with the chicken idea after she spotted the expiration date.)

Now, as it turns out, it was a premade dinner and wouldn't have kept--but that wasn't necessarily clear from what sis was told at the auction. Turkey Lady purchased a specific perishable meal and sis possibly thought she was getting the opportunity to order a meal made to order when she needed it. In addition to any potential shadiness, I think it's clear that the specific nature of the prize was not communicated well.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 27, 2012, 01:09:37 PM
The donor didn't give a gift certificate for any turkey dinner at the deli anytime, it sounds like she gave a Thanksgiving Turkey dinner, and that has a specific date to redeem.

It was not specifically stated as a "Thanksgiving dinner" anywhere that I know of from reading the thread. People eat turkey dinners for other occasions too, and sis might have assumed it could be redeemed for, say, Christmas dinner instead of Thanksgiving.

Now, as it turns out, it was a premade dinner and wouldn't have kept--but that wasn't necessarily clear from what sis was told at the auction. Turkey Lady purchased a specific perishable meal and sis possibly thought she was getting the opportunity to order a meal made to order when she needed it. In addition to any potential shadiness, I think it's clear that the specific nature of the prize was not communicated well.

And from what I understand, the Turkey Lady handwrote the expiration date on the receipt. It wasn't stated on the auction signage.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 01:10:57 PM
The donor didn't give a gift certificate for any turkey dinner at the deli anytime, it sounds like she gave a Thanksgiving Turkey dinner, and that has a specific date to redeem.

It was not specifically stated as a "Thanksgiving dinner" anywhere that I know of from reading the thread. People eat turkey dinners for other occasions too, and sis might have assumed it could be redeemed for, say, Christmas dinner instead of Thanksgiving.

Now, as it turns out, it was a premade dinner and wouldn't have kept--but that wasn't necessarily clear from what sis was told at the auction. Turkey Lady purchased a specific perishable meal and sis possibly thought she was getting the opportunity to order a meal made to order when she needed it. In addition to any potential shadiness, I think it's clear that the specific nature of the prize was not communicated well.

And from what I understand, the Turkey Lady handwrote the expiration date on the receipt. It wasn't stated on the auction signage.

Exactly. And given what she ended up doing, I wonder if that was originally her "note to self" on when to pick it up for herself.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 01:19:11 PM
Like I said, most auctions I have attended you either see the item (silent auction) where any limits or dealines should be visible or you hear a description before people call out bids.  I am not sure what kind of auction this was, it would be interesting to know.  If the deadline was missing either way then a general policy needs to be included to make sure those kinds of details are included next year so people fully understand what they are getting.  If might actually increase bidding because people will see the deal more clearly.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 27, 2012, 01:20:11 PM
Good grief, $50 is nothing for a charitable donation for tax purposes -- and would only make any difference if the Turkey Lady itemizes her taxes rather than takes the standard deduction. Seriously, the rules for tax deductions on charitable donations are much more strict than most people think: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions (http://www.irs.gov/uac/Eight-Tips-for-Deducting-Charitable-Contributions). Another good article is http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/ (http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/06/18/giving-to-charity-great-staying-off-irs-radar-priceless/)

And according to #3 on the list provided by the IRS and on the Forbes.com article, since the "donation" was of equal value as the dinner (according to the OP), sister would not get to claim any of the $50 on her taxes as a donation to the church, and if the item were worth more than what she paid, she still couldn't claim anything. It seems that now that sister didn't benefit by getting a turkey dinner, she can actually claim the charitable donation, but only if the church is on the IRS's qualified charities list (it must appear or it won't count).

My point for using a sweater was more this: this is a donation to a charity not a retail purchase. Demanding a refund for a charitable donation in any form is outrageous to me.

So by your logic, any charitable organization can offer anything they want in exchange for a donation but has no obligation to actually follow through and make good on their promise. Because, after all, it's outrageous to demand a refund for a charitable donation.

I don't think I can agree with that.
You have made a interesting giant leap from an incident of a Turkey dinner at a church charity auction to all charities everywhere. That's a bit OTT. I can imaging being outraged enough to want my donation back if I found out that the charity work was a fraud -- the money going for a trip to the Bahamas instead of the homeless for instance, but I can't imagine demanding my money back because an auction item wasn't sufficient or even delivered. I support charities, and I buy retail items. The two are totally separate financial transactions for me.

That's certainly an admirable viewpoint. If everyone felt that way, there would be no need to hold an auction in the first place. Or any other kind of fundraiser where the promise was the exchange of something of value in return for the donation. The church could have simply asked for donations from everyone and people would have donated. End of story.

Unfortunately, that's not how things work. Well, I should say, sure, sometimes they do work that way. But clearly not always since so many charitable organizations do in fact put on fundraisers which offer some kind of additional value, aside from the satisfaction of donating, in return for donations.

And then I'm right back where I was. Church promised something in return for a donation. That promise was not kept. Regardless of whose fault it was, the buyer did not receive the promised value for her donation. Once the buyer points this out to the church, it becomes the church's responsibility to make good.

Once the church enters into an agreement, i.e. turkey dinner in return for $50 (or whatever) donation, then it is on them to make good on that agreement. It's an agreement between two parties, regardless of who those parties are, charitable organization, business, individual, whatever.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 27, 2012, 01:27:25 PM
Also, I want to clarify. I don't think the OP's sis should go to the church and bang her fist on the desk and demand satisfaction. I think she should contact them and tell them what happened. If the church then says, "too bad so sad", I don't know that I'd insist. I'd probably just write it off as a bad experience. I'd sure evaluate the wisdom of belonging to such an organization though, and certainly would not again feel the desire to give them further donations. It seems to me that if I represented the church and this story came to my attention, I'd do everything in my power to do the right thing for the auction winner. Again, because, as the church, I've entered into an agreement and the right thing to do is hold up my end of that agreement if possible, even if situation was not my fault, i.e. the fault of the church.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 01:38:38 PM
I was going to reply to LazyDaisy's post but then lowspark said what I was about to say - in both of her above posts.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 27, 2012, 01:39:53 PM
Like I said, most auctions I have attended you either see the item (silent auction) where any limits or dealines should be visible or you hear a description before people call out bids.  I am not sure what kind of auction this was, it would be interesting to know.  If the deadline was missing either way then a general policy needs to be included to make sure those kinds of details are included next year so people fully understand what they are getting.  If might actually increase bidding because people will see the deal more clearly.

With the dozen or so auctions I've chaired or helped organize, we never put out any type of gift certificate on the silent auction tables.  Too easy for them to be "misplaced".  The only thing ever set out was a typed up description of the auction item as part of the bid sheet. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: dawbs on November 27, 2012, 01:43:35 PM
Also, I want to clarify. I don't think the OP's sis should go to the church and bang her fist on the desk and demand satisfaction. I think she should contact them and tell them what happened. If the church then says, "too bad so sad", I don't know that I'd insist. I'd probably just write it off as a bad experience. I'd sure evaluate the wisdom of belonging to such an organization though, and certainly would not again feel the desire to give them further donations. It seems to me that if I represented the church and this story came to my attention, I'd do everything in my power to do the right thing for the auction winner. Again, because, as the church, I've entered into an agreement and the right thing to do is hold up my end of that agreement if possible, even if situation was not my fault, i.e. the fault of the church.

This is where I land too.

It's rather like if one of 'my' employees screws up badly at work.
Honestly, I can't 'make it right'--as in, since said employees provide a service, if I find out, after the fact, that one of my employees made a major FUBAR, I can't go back in time and correct that--I can't refund time and there isn't a charge, per se, for what we do (it's kinda like going to the library--if the librarian is incredibly condescending and unhelpful, and you come back tomorrow and get help--great...but that doesn't change the previous visit).
 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 01:45:22 PM
I don't know if it is regional or what.  I think the idea that people are there primarily to support the charity decreases the worry of things being misplaced and having the visual appeal of the actual item really tends to increase bidding.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: rose red on November 27, 2012, 01:53:13 PM
Also, I want to clarify. I don't think the OP's sis should go to the church and bang her fist on the desk and demand satisfaction. I think she should contact them and tell them what happened. If the church then says, "too bad so sad", I don't know that I'd insist. I'd probably just write it off as a bad experience. I'd sure evaluate the wisdom of belonging to such an organization though, and certainly would not again feel the desire to give them further donations. It seems to me that if I represented the church and this story came to my attention, I'd do everything in my power to do the right thing for the auction winner. Again, because, as the church, I've entered into an agreement and the right thing to do is hold up my end of that agreement if possible, even if situation was not my fault, i.e. the fault of the church.

Right.  Because even if the church has no way of giving her a refund or another turkey dinner, they need to investigate and apologize.  They need the facts by questoning the grocery store and TurkeyLady, because what if it happens again?   

Yes, I can afford $50.  No, I don't need a turkey dinner.  But this is not about money or dinner.  It's about trust; it's about both parties getting what was promised to each other.  It's about what and who the church let represent them.  At this point, we don't know who is responsible (grocery store? turkeylady? OP's sister?  random stranger?), but the church needs to find out what happened so they know how to procede in the future.  Reputation and keeping a good name is important.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: amylouky on November 27, 2012, 01:58:17 PM
I'm not sure why the $50 is being considered a donation?  It really is a retail purchase, the difference being that the proceeds from the sale go to the church rather than a for-profit business.
I do think that the church should refund Sis's money, then they can determine how to proceed with recouping the money from the donor.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DollyPond on November 27, 2012, 02:07:47 PM
Quote
I don't know that there is any evidence that the donor was the person who picked it up.

Maybe the store has surveillance cameras - or maybe that's taking things too far.

In answer to the "donation" question....the OP's $50 was not the "donation"  that was made by the store and the church reaps the benefit of however much was bid on the item.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 02:10:45 PM
Quote
I don't know that there is any evidence that the donor was the person who picked it up.

Maybe the store has surveillance cameras - or maybe that's taking things too far.

Deli manager mentioned the last name of the person who claimed it and it was the same last name that was listed as the donor on the info that my sister got.

Now, I don't know the details--maybe she said the name in her phone calls, maybe she said "I'm picking up a turkey, under Smith," maybe she showed ID to claim it, I don't know. But we have this from the OP.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: EMuir on November 27, 2012, 02:14:30 PM
To me, the pertinent info is "was the information on the due date available to the sister when she bid".  If the due date was on the information available to all bidders, then the sister missed out and really should not have gone to the store after the due date.   If the information was only on the receipt provided after the bid was won, then sister should get her money back from the church, as she did not get the item she bid on.

I kind of understand Turkey Lady's side.  She meant to donate a Thanksgiving dinner, so she put a date on the receipt.  There was a misunderstanding between her and the auction committee, and they put "turkey dinner" on the auction with or without a date. Then the donor became anxious that the dinner not be "wasted", and also wanted to know that her donation was actually used.  She waited until the last second to come pick it up.  From her point of view, she didn't want her donation wasted, is all.

I hope this gets resolved in a way that everyone is happy.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sophia on November 27, 2012, 02:19:29 PM
I have ZERO sympathy for the turkey donator.  Lots of families stretch out Thanksgiving because they have dinner with more than one group.  Married couples with both sides being demanding.  Divorced couples with kids and grandparents that both demand the kid's presence.  Thanksgiving isn't over Thursday night.  Like the OP's friend.  It is very reasonable for a Thanksgiving dinner to be had Thursday or Friday. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 02:29:24 PM
But honestly, OP's sister didn't want what the church promised.  They auctioned a turkey dinner and she hoped it would come in the form of a GC so she could get something else, even though they didn't advertise it as a GC. Then when she did call she was hoping to negotiate a trade for chicken. I don't think that means she automatically forfeits the dinner but to insist that they should provide what they promised when she wasn't actually all that interested in exactly what they promised seems a bit lopsided to me.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 02:32:36 PM
But honestly, OP's sister didn't want what the church promised.  They auctioned a turkey dinner and she hoped it would come in the form of a GC so she could get something else, even though they didn't advertise it as a GC. Then when she did call she was hoping to negotiate a trade for chicken. I don't think that means she automatically forfeits the dinner but to insist that they should provide what they promised when she wasn't actually all that interested in exactly what they promised seems a bit lopsided to me.

She was fine with it being a turkey dinner until she saw the "expiration" note. At that point she figured they didn't have turkey anymore and she might as well ask if they could substitute something. But I don't think she necessarily didn't want the turkey just because she didn't claim it till Friday. Like others have mentioned, she might have wanted it for a later gathering and (before seeing it was expired) thought they would still have turkey on Friday, because a later gathering is not that uncommon.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: rose red on November 27, 2012, 02:34:12 PM
It doesn't matter if the TurkeyLady doesn't want the dinner to go to waste.  It wasn't hers anymore.  It was the sister's property as soon as she won the bid and it's the sister's to waste.  Perhaps the TurkeyLady can call to remind her to pick it up or say "if you don't want it, I'll take it," but just taking it without permission is stealing.  IMO, the only expiration date that counts is from the store, not hand written by the donater.  If the coupon is for the donater to cook the meal, then yes, she has the right to set an expiration date, but this is not the case. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 02:35:51 PM
She lives in an area where there seem to be a lot of church charity auctions. She went to one such auction that was not for the church she attends (possibly important later). (background: She was going to her SIL's for Thanksgiving dinner, and then she was hosting my family on Saturday so the cousins could all see each other.) One of the items up for auction was a family turkey dinner from the deli of a grocery store in town, valued at about $50. She bid on it (presumably for the $50, although I'm not entirely sure) and won it. Generally, these things are pretty generic (like they say 'turkey dinner', but they really mean a value of $X that can be used for anything in the deli within a month or two). So my sister thought she might be able to trade it in for chicken or something else, and we could all eat it when we came to her house on Saturday. After she got the info, she saw that the auction was very specific; it HAD to be a turkey dinner, and it HAD to be picked up between Monday and Thursday. Well, she waited until Thursday and called the deli to say she was going to be picking it up. She had a coupon of sorts and described it to the manager. The deli manager didn't know what she was talking about. Even he said that typically, people just get a $50 gift card in cases like this. She faxed the coupon to the deli manager so he could see what she was talking about. Actually OP indicated that she meant to switch out before seeing the deadline.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 27, 2012, 02:37:30 PM
But honestly, OP's sister didn't want what the church promised.  They auctioned a turkey dinner and she hoped it would come in the form of a GC so she could get something else, even though they didn't advertise it as a GC. Then when she did call she was hoping to negotiate a trade for chicken. I don't think that means she automatically forfeits the dinner but to insist that they should provide what they promised when she wasn't actually all that interested in exactly what they promised seems a bit lopsided to me.

It seems that you are trying to take every avenue possible to pin this on the Sister. She has already stated that she has some blame, but she has the right to alert the Church what happened. And she has the right to get what she paid for.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: rose red on November 27, 2012, 02:40:03 PM
So what if she wanted chicken instead of turkey?  Once she found out she can only get turkey, she should have gotten it even if she doesn't want it.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 02:40:40 PM
She lives in an area where there seem to be a lot of church charity auctions. She went to one such auction that was not for the church she attends (possibly important later). (background: She was going to her SIL's for Thanksgiving dinner, and then she was hosting my family on Saturday so the cousins could all see each other.) One of the items up for auction was a family turkey dinner from the deli of a grocery store in town, valued at about $50. She bid on it (presumably for the $50, although I'm not entirely sure) and won it. Generally, these things are pretty generic (like they say 'turkey dinner', but they really mean a value of $X that can be used for anything in the deli within a month or two). So my sister thought she might be able to trade it in for chicken or something else, and we could all eat it when we came to her house on Saturday. After she got the info, she saw that the auction was very specific; it HAD to be a turkey dinner, and it HAD to be picked up between Monday and Thursday. Well, she waited until Thursday and called the deli to say she was going to be picking it up. She had a coupon of sorts and described it to the manager. The deli manager didn't know what she was talking about. Even he said that typically, people just get a $50 gift card in cases like this. She faxed the coupon to the deli manager so he could see what she was talking about. Actually OP indicated that she meant to switch out before seeing the deadline.

Again, I think that has more to do with thinking they might not have turkey past Thanksgiving even though her family Thanksgiving was later in the weekend. It's not that she hates turkey. She just wasn't sure if she could get it.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 02:41:36 PM
Quote
Lots of families stretch out Thanksgiving because they have dinner with more than one group.  Married couples with both sides being demanding.  Divorced couples with kids and grandparents that both demand the kid's presence.  Thanksgiving isn't over Thursday night.  Like the OP's friend.  It is very reasonable for a Thanksgiving dinner to be had Thursday or Friday.

My brother and sister-in-law couldn't come on Thanksgiving Day, so we had our family Thanksgiving together on Sunday.  So I POD what you said above.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 02:44:02 PM
Quote
Then the donor became anxious that the dinner not be "wasted", and also wanted to know that her donation was actually used.

It's not her business to be "anxious" or wanting "to know that her donation was actually used."

Her relationship with the dinner stopped the second that she donated it.  If the OP's sister wanted to go get the dinner and feed it to the cats behind her house, it was the OP's sister's right to do so.  The donor had no right to the dinner after she left the item with the church auction.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 02:44:52 PM
I agree she has the right to let the church know and to get what she paid for which would be the turkey dinner. However, I do think it is somewhat significant that she didn't have any great attachment to what she paid for and that she was actually hoping to negotiate something a bit different herself. People keep referring to getting what she paid for - that is a turkey dinner. If the church is required to delover what she paid for it would be the turkey dinner. I don't know if that would thrill her because she wasn't excited to find out that what she paid for was literally what she was getting.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Kimblee on November 27, 2012, 02:45:38 PM
Like I said, most auctions I have attended you either see the item (silent auction) where any limits or dealines should be visible or you hear a description before people call out bids.  I am not sure what kind of auction this was, it would be interesting to know.  If the deadline was missing either way then a general policy needs to be included to make sure those kinds of details are included next year so people fully understand what they are getting.  If might actually increase bidding because people will see the deal more clearly.

The church auctions I go to (its not my church, but they do a lot for the community and welcome anyone who wants to bid) don't use a lot of detail. Bidding is done on a piece of paper attatched to a clipboard with a one or two sentence discription on it. (aka: Turkey dinner, three sides; corn, green bean cass., mash. potatoes. Rolls. value: $50) And if you win you get the whatever voucher.

I could see a misunderstanding like this happening there, although at this church someone calling YOU to say "Hey, its almost the turkey deadline. Aren't you gonna go get your dinner, honey?".
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: RegionMom on November 27, 2012, 02:45:55 PM
As far as the information being shown and upfront during the auction, I have seen lovely displays that could not be "misplaced."
It involves plastic sleeves and/or photocopies, or even photographs of said gift offer. 

Potential buyers may think, "Oh, I will get it in blue instead of green, use it in far city, save for three months later, transfer to friend, etc..."  It should be well laid out before a bid is ever made.  Buyer beware, but the seller should inform the buyer! 

Sometimes the packets do have date restrictions, so I know how/if to bid. 

Turkey Lady may have set her own restrictions that no one else knew about, and the church has no idea she changed it.  Perhaps she collected from other businesses, and other buyers are also now frustrated by her imposed restrictions.

Once I have collected for a prize donation, I do not do a follow-up of who "won the bid" or then if it has been used.  In a way, it is a gift, and the recipient decides how/when/if to use it.

My goodness, once I "bought" some funky magnetic jewelry to be made for me, but the woman wound up with a closing business and then cancer.  That one, I wrote off (not for taxes, but wrote off my life, because it would be a hardship for her to honor it.)

Turkey lady was overly involved, whether by design (to get it for herself) or by busy-bodiness. 

For next year, all potential restrictions need to be up front and Turkey Lady needs to be less a part of it.  Yes, the church needs to be told. 

Anyone wishing they still had turkey leftovers yet?  Ours are all eaten, but this thread is making me hungry!
:)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LazyDaisy on November 27, 2012, 02:49:47 PM
I don't have sympathy for the Turkey Lady in this instance, but in general the terms of the donation are totally up to the donor. If Turkey Lady was donating a Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner to the auction, it doesn't matter that it might not work for everyone. But I agree that the terms could have been made more clear, and that OP's sister shouldn't have assumed the receipt she received could be redeemed for anything at the deli, at any time.

I've participated in many a charity auction and I'm afraid I've never seen the expiration dates listed in the description for certificate items when one exists. I've also been the winner of items that have expiration dates and it's totally up to me to read through everything carefully as soon as I receive the prize. If people haven't wanted the item after they won the bid and inspected it, right at the time they pay is when they should decline and let the organization offer it to the next highest bidder.

The last auction I attended a few weeks ago, the grand prize was two tickets to the Rose Bowl, and 2 tickets to the Rose Parade -- no "expiration date" was given. Now, one can try to argue that the Rose Bowl is the name of the stadium and the two tickets should be for any game played there at any time, but a reasonable person (especially in Southern California) should be able to realize that THE Rose Bowl is a rather specific game played only on 1 day a year and if they aren't used because someone didn't look at the date, that's on them.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 02:51:14 PM
RegionMom, that reminds me of people who donated use of a condo for a week in FLorida.  They had certain weeks it was/wasn't available and that was made clear before bidding started, as was the cap on the number of peple who could stay there.  There were pictures of the place and they made it clear the deal had to be used within one year.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Iris on November 27, 2012, 02:56:49 PM
Quote
Then the donor became anxious that the dinner not be "wasted", and also wanted to know that her donation was actually used.

It's not her business to be "anxious" or wanting "to know that her donation was actually used."

Her relationship with the dinner stopped the second that she donated it.  If the OP's sister wanted to go get the dinner and feed it to the cats behind her house, it was the OP's sister's right to do so.  The donor had no right to the dinner after she left the item with the church auction.

This. Turkey Lady had no right to the dinner at all. Heck, if the OP's sister wanted to let it rot at the shop that's her choice because it's *her dinner*. Taking something that isn't yours is stealing, even if the other person wasn't using it ("But waiter, she'd gone to the bathroom and her food was going cold! I couldn't see it go to waste!").

I don't think I would demand reparations, since the expiry date had passed anyway, but I would certainly let the church know about it. If I were new to an area and considering churches something like this would *definitely* turn me off a church and I would probably let other newcomers considering churches know about it too. It's probably lucky for the church that it happened to a member of their congregation and not an outsider.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 03:01:00 PM
Turkey Lady may have set her own restrictions that no one else knew about, and the church has no idea she changed it.  Perhaps she collected from other businesses, and other buyers are also now frustrated by her imposed restrictions.

Yeah, I can just see it. "Sorry, ma'am, the donor specified that the sweater had to be purple, size 14, and embellished with silver bows, and she came and picked it up last Tuesday."  ;D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 27, 2012, 03:08:38 PM
RegionMom, that reminds me of people who donated use of a condo for a week in FLorida.  They had certain weeks it was/wasn't available and that was made clear before bidding started, as was the cap on the number of peple who could stay there.  There were pictures of the place and they made it clear the deal had to be used within one year.

And that is exactly why I said sister should bring the matter to the attention of the auction organizer.  They need to be aware of a misunderstanding on the terms when the sister placed her bid so they can be prudent in verifying that all pertinent information is easily available to bidders. 

It very well good have been written in HUGE BOLD LETTERS  that value expires by November X and sister just completely missed it.  But my guess was that it was not easily viewable. Any auction organizer wants winning bidders to be happy so they return next year.  And most would have gone out of their way to make sure that an item with that short of an expiration was clearly identified as such. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: yokozbornak on November 27, 2012, 03:23:04 PM
With the silent auctions I have been involved in, we photocopy the front and back of any giftcards, certificates,etc., and place them on the table where the person bidding can see exactly what they are getting.  We also try to note any restrictions so they buyer will be aware of what they are getting.

As I was thinking about this today, we actually did have a situation similar to this at one of our auctions a few years ago.  One of our members asked the business her husband works for to donate an item.  They business actually had season tickets to the local NFL team games that they gvae to clients and the business owner decided to donate a pair of those to our group (very generous!).  He asked one of his employees to take care of getting us the tickets.  The employee gave our group the tickets, and then called the stadium to say the tickets were lost and asked for a replacement pair.  When the people who bought them showed up, they were told the tickets had already been scanned and they weren't allowed to enter.  Cue them calling the auction organizer (which was not me that year!).   Fortunately, the person who bought the tickets was a member or our group and was a good sport about what happened.  We refunded him immediately and apologized repeatedly.  We also let the person who donated the tickets know what happened which is why we know why the tickets didn't work.  They employee who did it was fired. (Maybe I need to add this to the Professional Darwinism thread).

All that to say, the person who bought the item has a right to get what they paid for.  As someone who is involved in charitable auctions, my organization's reputation is on the line if something like that happens.  I think it's great if you want to donate to the cause, but most people who attend auctions go because they want to buy cool stuff hopefully at a discount.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Snooks on November 27, 2012, 03:30:24 PM
I think the deadline and the small print and the receipt are all a red herring here.  What matters is this woman took something that she had no right to take.  I say tell the church and let them deal with it. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Ohjustlovely on November 27, 2012, 03:33:05 PM
The fact that the Turkey Dinner was to be redeemed by mentioning TL's name, as well as TL still retaining the original receipt, TL owned the Turkey Dinner. The deli was in no way at fault, as the origin" receipt and TL's name was used to get the Turkey Dinner.

However, since the intent of the Turkey Dinner was to sell it by auction, and Sister did in fact pay, TL should have given the original receipt. TL did this on purpose. If TL wanted to keep a record of the transaction, TL could have kept the copy but give the original receipt.

It is clearly an act of fraud of TL.

If the prize was something else, such as a weekend at a bed-and-breakfast, and donor had no right to give that prize (for whatever reason), or had redeemed that prize instead of auction winner, that is a fraud.

I say tell the auction committee what happened. If they cannot force TL to pay Sister, then Sister should consider going public and/or making a police report. And then suing TL. Sister should tell the TL and auction committee this.

Afterwards, the auction committee may consider to ban such future scams, and insist GC with no strings attached in their future auctions.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Redneck Gravy on November 27, 2012, 03:53:47 PM
My sister shared this with me and I was just curious what others thought of what happened with this situation.

She lives in an area where there seem to be a lot of church charity auctions.  She went to one such auction that was not for the church she attends (possibly important later).  (background: She was going to her SIL's for Thanksgiving dinner, and then she was hosting my family on Saturday so the cousins could all see each other.)  One of the items up for auction was a family turkey dinner from the deli of a grocery store in town, valued at about $50.  She bid on it (presumably for the $50, although I'm not entirely sure) and won it.  Generally, these things are pretty generic (like they say 'turkey dinner', but they really mean a value of $X that can be used for anything in the deli within a month or two). So my sister thought she might be able to trade it in for chicken or something else, and we could all eat it when we came to her house on Saturday. 
After she got the info, she saw that the auction was very specific; it HAD to be a turkey dinner, and it HAD to be picked up between Monday and Thursday.  Well, she waited until Thursday and called the deli to say she was going to be picking it up.  She had a coupon of sorts and described it to the manager.  The deli manager didn't know what she was talking about.  Even he said that typically, people just get a $50 gift card in cases like this.  She faxed the coupon to the deli manager so he could see what she was talking about.

The manager called her back, and this is where it gets a bit wild.  Apparently, my sister's turkey dinner had been picked up already by someone else!  The manager said that some other lady had been calling all day, wondering if the dinner (my sister's dinner) had been picked up yet.  When it hadn't been picked up by a certain time, this other lady came and picked it up herself!

My sister's take on it was that this lady is the one who donated the item to the church auction (I don't know if she knew this for sure or was supposing).  The other lady was counting on nobody picking up the dinner, basically hedging her bets, hence the specificity of the type of dinner and the short time frame for picking it up.  That's why it wasn't done in the 'typical' way (the $50 gift card), b/c then she'd have no way of potentially getting it back if she'd just donated the gift card.   So my sister was out her money AND her dinner.

I asked what my sister was going to do.  She hadn't done anything yet b/c she was really busy on Friday.  Personally, I think a bit of public shaming would be in order, and that my sister should call the church and explain the situation, and request that they ask that the Turkey lady actually provide to my sister what she donated, or give my sister back her money.  Perhaps my sister could overlook the large 'donation' to the church and just write it off if it were her own church, but this is a different one.  I thought if the Turkey lady was going to going to try to get the goodwill for her actions AND eat my sister's dinner, then she should be called out on her actions.  And to do this to a church?  Really?

So, what do you all think of that?  I thought it was pretty shady and conniving of Turkey lady, personally.

So I went to the original post and struck out the extraneous portion, this helps me, does it help anyone else?   

Sis bid on and won a turkey dinner that had to be picked up by xx time on Thursday.  When she went to pick it up, it had already been picked up.  Sis does not know who picked it up.

The deli owes her a turkey dinner.  If deli figures out who picked her dinner up they can take it up with that person.  If sis gets no satisfaction from the deli then she needs to voice her unhappiness with the church where she bought the dinner.  They can either refund her money or say too bad, so sad and Sis can avoid donating, participating in an auction there again.  The church can then find out themselves what has happened - at least then they would know not to accept donations from said deli or church member again.

The bottom line is Sis did not get her turkey dinner she won in an auction from a church.  If this were an auction on Ebay or any other public/private auction she would still be owed her turkey dinner.  Yes, I agree, it's horrible that this has happened to a church but they are not exempt from providing what they auction off.  The donor should probably be contacted so that she knows what happened, she may have an explanation or may be horribly embarassed about the incident and ASSUMING it was her, she may want to make good on the donation or she may be a horses patoot and not - either way I think the church should be informed about the incident. 

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 03:58:17 PM
The deli owes her a turkey dinner.  If deli figures out who picked her dinner up they can take it up with that person.  If sis gets no satisfaction from the deli then she needs to voice her unhappiness with the church where she bought the dinner.  They can either refund her money or say too bad, so sad and Sis can avoid donating, participating in an auction there again.  The church can then find out themselves what has happened - at least then they would know not to accept donations from said deli or church member again.

The reason I don't think the deli is responsible is that I don't think they ever knew it was an auction prize. All they knew was that Turkey Lady ordered a turkey dinner, behaved oddly by calling about it a lot, and then came to pick it up with the receipt she'd gotten when she initially paid. They probably had many orders like this during the run-up to the holiday. The deli had no idea they were supposed to reserve it for someone else and that Turkey Lady was being sneaky. If Turkey Lady had actually told them it was a prize, they'd have done their usual procedure of making it a gift card.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Coruscation on November 27, 2012, 04:03:14 PM

I don't think I would demand reparations, since the expiry date had passed anyway

People keep saying this, you're only the most recent but the OP says that


After she got the info, she saw that the auction was very specific; it HAD to be a turkey dinner, and it HAD to be picked up between Monday and Thursday.  Well, she waited until Thursday and called the deli to say she was going to be picking it up. 

So she was not in fact late.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 04:05:39 PM
I believe her update said she called Friday.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Redneck Gravy on November 27, 2012, 04:06:45 PM
Sorry, until I hear deli owner said Turkey Lady picked it up we don't know who picked it up.

For all we know it could have been a bidder that did not win the dinner but knows who did. 

Now, if I missed a post saying that Turkey Lady picked the dinner up then I apologize.  Then the church needs to refund sis and take their issue up with Turkey Lady.

 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: wolfie on November 27, 2012, 04:08:43 PM
I believe her update said she called Friday.

She said that she hadn't done anything to fix the situation yet because she was busy on Friday, but she called to get the Turkey on Thursday.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 04:12:31 PM
Sorry, until I hear deli owner said Turkey Lady picked it up we don't know who picked it up.

For all we know it could have been a bidder that did not win the dinner but knows who did. 

Now, if I missed a post saying that Turkey Lady picked the dinner up then I apologize.  Then the church needs to refund sis and take their issue up with Turkey Lady.

I'm basing it on this, on page 4:

Fifth, the deli manager said that the lady had been calling all during that week, not just on Thursday as I thought, inquiring as to whether or not the dinner had been redeemed.  So that kind of says to me (and my sister) that she was really looking for the dinner to not be claimed.  When Thursday rolled around, she used her original receipt and went and claimed it.  Deli manager mentioned the last name of the person who claimed it and it was the same last name that was listed as the donor on the info that my sister got.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 04:12:56 PM
Fourth, and I will fully admit this was sister's own fault, she didn't try to claim this until Friday.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Redneck Gravy on November 27, 2012, 04:15:11 PM
Sorry, I found the update!   my bad

Sis tried to claim the dinner on Friday after the expiration date.   

I hate it when that happens but that is why there are deadlines and expiration dates for certain things - like precooked dinners. 

All the other stuff is irrelevant but incredibly fascinating! Wow.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Jones on November 27, 2012, 04:17:27 PM
But the "expiration date" was placed by a third party who had no right to place that date.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 04:20:40 PM
Sis tried to claim the dinner on Friday after the expiration date.   

I hate it when that happens but that is why there are deadlines and expiration dates for certain things - like precooked dinners. 

All the other stuff is irrelevant but incredibly fascinating! Wow.

The bolded sounds oddly snarky through the internet, for some reason.

We have already discussed the expiration date, and my conclusion is that yes, she missed the date, but I'm inclined to give her a pass on it because (a) it doesn't sound like she was expecting them to still honor it but was asking just-in-case, and (b) it doesn't sound like the expiration date was legit anyway, but just something Turkey Lady wrote on there herself after leaving the deli. In the grand scheme of etiquette sins, I think making up a fake expiration date trumps trying one's luck with an expired coupon if one is willing to politely accept a "no."
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 04:23:22 PM
I'm not sure that I agree that the donor had no right to place an expiration. Of course, I'm not sure I disagree. If she wants to donate a Thanksgiving dinner specifically then it has to be by Thursday. Let's say I want to donate quilt (and that I can quilt). So my donation is a quilt that will fit your bed. But I am even more specific and say I am donating a U of M quilt. Now, on the one hand I could be open to a MSU, OSU or even flowered quilt but it seems like if I am making the donation then I do have the option of placing limits.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Redneck Gravy on November 27, 2012, 04:29:32 PM
Well I certainly didn't mean it snarky at all.  I did not see the update and when someone corrected me I went back and looked again until I found it.

Perhaps Turkey Lady donated the dinner to the auction - thinking that if the winner did not pick it up she would take it to a shelter rather that see it wasted.  Why do so many assume she planned to eat it? 

Had the winner contacted the deli, the owner might have been willing to exchange the meal for a gift card of equal value, he sounds as surprised as Sis.  Now the fact that Sis missed the deadline is not the deli's fault - they prepared a dinner that had been prepaid, Sis wanting to come in the day after the deadline (even though it was set by the donor, it was still a deadline) makes her seem a little snowflakey imo.  Deadlines are deadlines.

Yes, the whole incident sounds fishy and I would discuss it with the auction organizer but it sounds like the deadline was clearly spelled out and Sis missed it.  However, to avoid future mishaps like this, auction organizers need to know.     
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 04:31:06 PM
I'm not sure that I agree that the donor had no right to place an expiration. Of course, I'm not sure I disagree. If she wants to donate a Thanksgiving dinner specifically then it has to be by Thursday. Let's say I want to donate quilt (and that I can quilt). So my donation is a quilt that will fit your bed. But I am even more specific and say I am donating a U of M quilt. Now, on the one hand I could be open to a MSU, OSU or even flowered quilt but it seems like if I am making the donation then I do have the option of placing limits.

If you want to give a U of M quilt, then give a U of M quilt, as in the physical object and not a gift certificate to Quilts R Us. By the same token, if you want the dinner to only be eaten on Thursday and not at someone's Saturday Thanksgiving dinner, then find some way to stipulate that through the store, or take the winner out to a turkey dinner on Thursday yourself, or whatever. (Edit: I didn't realize you were making the quilt in your example. Yes, if you are both the donor and the vendor, you can stipulate that you will only make a U of M quilt. Just like if you were actually cooking the dinner, you could make them stick with turkey or with your chosen date or whatever.)

But if you give a gift certificate that does not already have an expiration date through the vendor, you can say what you'd like the person to do with it, but it stops being yours once you've donated it and you can't make the person honor your wish. They've paid for the right to do whatever they want with it. And you can't involve the vendor in your personal quirks without even telling them.

And it seems rather mean-spirited to suggest that Thanksgiving dinner can only only only be eaten on Thursday considering we have had several ehellions post in this thread that they had to have it Friday or Saturday to get their whole family together, which is surely more important that the technical day of Thursday.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 04:33:44 PM
Quote
Perhaps Turkey Lady donated the dinner to the auction - thinking that if the winner did not pick it up she would take it to a shelter rather that see it wasted.

Again, it's not TL's business to be concerned about whether the meal was wasted or not.  Her tie to the meal ended when the donation was handed over to the auction organizer.  She doesn't get to decide that the meal was wasted and needed to be taken care of; it's no longer hers to do so.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 04:34:21 PM
But sis herself assumed that they would stop making turkey after Thursday - was that mean-spirited of her?  Was she assuming the deli was mean-spirited? Does that make them both mean-spirited?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 04:36:08 PM
Quote
And you can't involve the vendor in your personal quirks without even telling them.

Exactly.  If she wanted to impose this deadline on the meal, she should have, at the very least, informed the people who were going to be providing the actual meal.

Quote
And it seems rather mean-spirited to suggest that Thanksgiving dinner can only only only be eaten on Thursday considering we have had several ehellions post in this thread that they had to have it Friday or Saturday to get their whole family together, which is surely more important that the technical day of Thursday.

As one of the posters who said this was the case with my own family, I agree with this.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 04:37:12 PM
Quote
Perhaps Turkey Lady donated the dinner to the auction - thinking that if the winner did not pick it up she would take it to a shelter rather that see it wasted.

Again, it's not TL's business to be concerned about whether the meal was wasted or not.  Her tie to the meal ended when the donation was handed over to the auction organizer.  She doesn't get to decide that the meal was wasted and needed to be taken care of; it's no longer hers to do so.

Yes, this. It's the same as giving a gift to an individual. You can't make the person cherish it exactly like you want them to--you can only hope and let go of it.

But sis herself assumed that they would stop making turkey after Thursday - was that mean-spirited of her?  Was she assuming the deli was mean-spirited? Does that make them both mean-spirited?

No. If a business doesn't make turkey after Thanksgiving, it's because they've decided it's not profitable because fewer people eat it after the date, even if some do. It's a business decision. And sis figured Thanksgiving is more about the people than the food and so it would be fine to have chicken for it, because she'd rather have chicken with her family there than turkey with nobody there. Can't see anything mean-spirited there.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: PurpleyBlue on November 27, 2012, 04:44:25 PM
Quote
Perhaps Turkey Lady donated the dinner to the auction - thinking that if the winner did not pick it up she would take it to a shelter rather that see it wasted.

Again, it's not TL's business to be concerned about whether the meal was wasted or not.  Her tie to the meal ended when the donation was handed over to the auction organizer.  She doesn't get to decide that the meal was wasted and needed to be taken care of; it's no longer hers to do so.

Exactly.  She had no business calling the deli even once to see if the meal had been claimed, much less repeatedly, over several days.

I make silent auction donations on behalf of our business.  I will admit that, if I am at the auction, I'll stop by at the end and see how much it went for.  That, however, is the end of it.  I don't obsessively follow up to see that the gift certificate was redeemed.  I don't try to find out who won.  It's not my concern.  I made a donation, and the charity in question was compensated for it, end of story.  The donation served its purpose.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Redneck Gravy on November 27, 2012, 04:48:19 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 


Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: SiotehCat on November 27, 2012, 04:50:44 PM
I don't think it matters who received the turkey dinner AFTER the expiration date. I also don't think it matters who set the expiration date.

There was an expiration date for the turkey dinner. OPs sister missed it. Its that simple.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Moray on November 27, 2012, 04:51:58 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

Frankly, I think all this squawking about the expiration date is a complete red herring. Once the TL donated the item, and once the OP's sister won the bid on that item, TL's involvement was to have ended. Full stop. The transaction/agreement ceased being between anyone but the deli and the OP's sister.

It was wrong of TL to continue to insert herself.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 04:52:32 PM
OP, was the deli still doing turkey dinners on Friday?  If they mentioned to the donor that Thirsday was the last day turkey dinners were available I could see writing it down as a "deadline" so the buyer would know.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: GratefulMaria on November 27, 2012, 04:53:23 PM
I'm confused . . . the OP says the sister called Thursday.  Wasn't that within the deadline?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: SiotehCat on November 27, 2012, 04:54:50 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

Turkey Lady was the one making the donation. Why doesn't she get to put an expiration date on it?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Moray on November 27, 2012, 04:55:06 PM
OP, was the deli still doing turkey dinners on Friday?  If they mentioned to the donor that Thirsday was the last day turkey dinners were available I could see writing it down as a "deadline" so the buyer would know.

That still wouldn't excuse her constant calling, or her swooping in to pick up the dinner.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 04:55:18 PM
I'm confused . . . the OP says the sister called Thursday.  Wasn't that within the deadline?

The sister got updated information form her sister.  Sis actually called Friday which is why she thought they might give her chicken instead of turkey.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: thedudeabides on November 27, 2012, 04:56:22 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

Turkey Lady was the one making the donation. Why doesn't she get to put an expiration date on it?

Because she isn't the business offering the product.  If they're still selling turkey dinners after Thanksgiving Day for the people who don't celebrate it on that day, it's none of her business what day the auction winner picks the product up.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: SiotehCat on November 27, 2012, 04:56:32 PM
OP, was the deli still doing turkey dinners on Friday?  If they mentioned to the donor that Thirsday was the last day turkey dinners were available I could see writing it down as a "deadline" so the buyer would know.

That still wouldn't excuse her constant calling, or her swooping in to pick up the dinner.

Her constant calling and then swooping in seems a littler shady. Sure. That still doesn't change the fact that OP's sister missed the deadline.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: GratefulMaria on November 27, 2012, 04:56:39 PM
I'm confused . . . the OP says the sister called Thursday.  Wasn't that within the deadline?

The sister got updated information form her sister.  Sis actually called Friday which is why she thought they might give her chicken instead of turkey.

Whoops!  I did read that and didn't retain.  Thanks, and sorry.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Moray on November 27, 2012, 04:56:47 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

Turkey Lady was the one making the donation. Why doesn't she get to put an expiration date on it?

Because when she donated the item to the church (i.e. "gave the gift"), it ceased being hers. She lost all claim to it. Period.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: rose red on November 27, 2012, 04:57:02 PM
Missing the deadline doesn't give the TurkeyLady the right to claim it.  It's not hers anymore. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: PurpleyBlue on November 27, 2012, 04:57:26 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

Turkey Lady was the one making the donation. Why doesn't she get to put an expiration date on it?

Regardless of who put the expiration date on it, the OP stated that the woman picked the meal up on Thursday.  Her self-imposed "expiration date" wasn't even up by then.  Technically, the OP's sister had until the deli closed on Thursday to pick it up.  In my mind, the woman stole the dinner either way.  But, even if she was somehow entitled to it after the OP's sister let it expire, she still swooped in before the deadline and took something that wasn't hers.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: SiotehCat on November 27, 2012, 04:58:01 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

Turkey Lady was the one making the donation. Why doesn't she get to put an expiration date on it?

Because when she donated the item to the church (i.e. "gave the gift"), it ceased being hers. She lost all claim to it. Period.

If she donated the item to the church, with the expiration date already set by her, then the church can choose to decline it. They didn't.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Moray on November 27, 2012, 05:00:30 PM
Missing the deadline doesn't give the TurkeyLady the right to claim it.  It's not hers anymore. 

Winner, winner, turkey dinner!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 05:02:25 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

Turkey Lady was the one making the donation. Why doesn't she get to put an expiration date on it?

Because when she donated the item to the church (i.e. "gave the gift"), it ceased being hers. She lost all claim to it. Period.

Yes, this. At that point, expired or not, wasted or not, whether Sis ate it or fed it to her cats or ritually burned it, the one thing that is absolutely for sure is that Turkey Lady does not receive it. Let's take Sis trying to claim it completely out of the equation. If it goes to waste at the store or the employees eat it so it won't get thrown out, it still does not revert to Turkey Lady. It isn't hers anymore, morally. Legally it might be, as she paid for it, never told them it was for an auction, and it was in her name (though her giving it to the church might make it legally not-hers too). But morally, ethically, and etiquettely, it is not her turkey anymore and she doesn't get to take it back.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 27, 2012, 05:05:13 PM
In all actuality, the deli probably donated the meal to the church. My feeling is that the Turkey Lady was the middle man and had zero rights to the dinner.

It isn't unusual for Church Members to solicit donations on behalf of the Church. But I can't see a business donating the meal to this woman.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: PurpleyBlue on November 27, 2012, 05:06:54 PM
In all actuality, the deli probably donated the meal to the church. My feeling is that the Turkey Lady was the middle man and had zero rights to the dinner.

It isn't unusual for Church Members to solicit donations on behalf of the Church. But I can't see a business donating the meal to this woman.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if this were the case.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 05:07:41 PM
In all actuality, the deli probably donated the meal to the church. My feeling is that the Turkey Lady was the middle man and had zero rights to the dinner.

It isn't unusual for Church Members to solicit donations on behalf of the Church. But I can't see a business donating the meal to this woman.

They didn't donate it to the church. They sold it to her, she didn't tell them what it was for, put it in the auction, and then claimed it anyway. The deli was an unwilling, unwitting dupe.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: SiotehCat on November 27, 2012, 05:08:39 PM
In all actuality, the deli probably donated the meal to the church. My feeling is that the Turkey Lady was the middle man and had zero rights to the dinner.

It isn't unusual for Church Members to solicit donations on behalf of the Church. But I can't see a business donating the meal to this woman.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if this were the case.

This topic seems to be confusing enough without adding details. Can we just stick to what we know from the OP?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 05:23:33 PM
Regarding the question of why TL doesn't get to put her own expiration date on it, let me submit the following (this may or may not be the case in this particular situation, but it does still illustrate my point).

If the donation had been an actual voucher or something from the deli that had an expiration date on it from the deli itself, would TL be in her rights to put her own expiration on it instead?  No.  She doesn't get to do that.  She, as the middleman in the donation process, doesn't get to impose just any old deadline on it that she wishes.

Had she not picked the dinner up, would the deli have honored Sister's claim to it?  We don't know now.  I'm interested in knowing.  But I suspect that, if this were all done on the level (which I'm increasingly suspecting wasn't the case here) and this were a true auction item that the deli was aware of, they would have honored Sister's claim to the dinner - even the day after Thanksgiving.  That's an assumption on my part.  And not one that may be true.  But that's between Sister and Deli.  Only.

Regardless of any of the other details, though, the plain and simple truth - regardless of any of the suppositions we're making and/or facts we actually know - is that TL has no right to the dinner after it's donated.  At all.  Whether it means that the dinner ended up not being claimed, went to waste or whatever.  Her claim to it was over and she cannot, in any way, shape or form, go get said dinner for herself, a food kitchen, the neighborhood cat or the man on the moon.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: sourwolf on November 27, 2012, 05:32:03 PM
Considering the deli had no knowledge of the deadline I'm sure they would have been happy to give the OP's sister the dinner on Friday.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 05:35:23 PM
Considering the deli had no knowledge of the deadline I'm sure they would have been happy to give the OP's sister the dinner on Friday.

It sounds like they had no knowledge of the whole thing or at least they were confused.  Whether it was because of the deadline, because the dinner had already been picked up, because she was talking about a charity thing that didn't follow normal traditions a combination of some or all of these things - who knows?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CluelessBride on November 27, 2012, 05:41:06 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

While I absolutely agree that Turkey Lady was shady for picking up (stealing) the turkey dinner, I don't think that this part was necessarily wrong. She did not buy/donate a gift certificate. She bought/donated a turkey dinner. And the claim wasn't a voucher. It was a receipt (photocopy). So it doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility that the date range for picking up pre-prepared turkey dinners was set by the store, but not on the receipt. If it's like many printed receipts it might just say something like "1 deluxe turkey dinner $49.99", and then the purchaser pre-ordering the turkey is told they must pick up by Thursday.

Then the expiration date wouldn't be an arbitrary restriction, it would be a necessary part of picking up the pre-paid for turkey dinner.

Again, Turkey Lady was shady - she never should have picked up the abandoned dinner,and calling repeatedly about it was just weird. The church should be informed and Turkey Lady should be talked to. If the church and/or store decide to refund/honor the turkey dinner that would be lovely, but because OP's sis missed the deadline, missing out on the turkey is 100% her fault (unless the deadline was written in invisible ink that wasn't readable until Friday or written in size 1pt font or something similar).
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 27, 2012, 05:53:16 PM
There's a saying that "if it isn't in writing, it didn't happen."  If there were a spoken deadline between Deli and TL that it had to be picked up on Thursday, I would say it's really not a true deadline.  Deadlines are in writing for a reason.

That's why I suspect that Deli would have still honored Sister's request for the meal had this all been on the up-and-up.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Deetee on November 27, 2012, 05:54:30 PM
If the church and/or store decide to refund/honor the turkey dinner that would be lovely, but because OP's sis missed the deadline, missing out on the turkey is 100% her fault (unless the deadline was written in invisible ink that wasn't readable until Friday or written in size 1pt font or something similar).

I disagree.

If the deli would not have honoured the reciept after Thursday (regardless of Turkeylady's behaviour) then it was the sister's fault that she didn't get her prize.


If the deli would have honoured the reciept after Thursday except for the fact  the Turkey lady picked it up, then it is 100% on turkey lady.

The facts support the latter because the deli didn't say "It's past the deadline". They said "It's already been claimed".

In any case, I really want to find out how this turns out.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 27, 2012, 06:05:01 PM
If the church and/or store decide to refund/honor the turkey dinner that would be lovely, but because OP's sis missed the deadline, missing out on the turkey is 100% her fault (unless the deadline was written in invisible ink that wasn't readable until Friday or written in size 1pt font or something similar).

I disagree.

If the deli would not have honoured the reciept after Thursday (regardless of Turkeylady's behaviour) then it was the sister's fault that she didn't get her prize.


If the deli would have honoured the reciept after Thursday except for the fact  the Turkey lady picked it up, then it is 100% on turkey lady.

The facts support the latter because the deli didn't say "It's past the deadline". They said "It's already been claimed".

In any case, I really want to find out how this turns out.

And I think what's really going on here is that there are two different etiquette issues.

One is, can you go back and reclaim your gift that you donated to charity? The other is, can you ask to have an expired (or "expired," if the date is phony as I theorize) gift certificate honored? The two of them being mooshed together is what's resulting in the arguments, I think. I tend to think that no, you can't go snatch back your charity donation, and that while asking if a business will honor an expired coupon might be rude, IMO it's a pretty tiny rudeness in the scheme of things, and not a big deal if the person is willing to accept a no and especially if they're kind of apologetic about it when they ask.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: jedikaiti on November 27, 2012, 06:13:08 PM
Had Sis contacted the deli before the expiration date I would have a different opinion - but the bottom line is that she missed the expiration date.

For a pre-cooked meal - it's not like she could go in on Friday and pick up just any sweater.  It was clearly indicated that this was for a meal to be picked up by THURSDAY.

Yes, still a shady way to donate but a deadline was given.  And calling everyday to check on the meal then swooping in at the last minute to snatch it - very shady. The deli owner could have just said sorry you missed the Thursday turkey deadline.  His offering of the other information was none of her business anyway but if he hadn't we wouldn't have this thread to discuss.   

 

Nope. The "Bottom Line" is that the "expiration date" wasn't valid, it was an arbitrary restriction placed by Turkey Lady on a purchase that had already been made from the deli.

Turkey Lady was the one making the donation. Why doesn't she get to put an expiration date on it?

Regardless of who put the expiration date on it, the OP stated that the woman picked the meal up on Thursday.  Her self-imposed "expiration date" wasn't even up by then.  Technically, the OP's sister had until the deli closed on Thursday to pick it up.  In my mind, the woman stole the dinner either way.  But, even if she was somehow entitled to it after the OP's sister let it expire, she still swooped in before the deadline and took something that wasn't hers.

BINGO.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: katycoo on November 27, 2012, 06:47:21 PM
Here's what I think happened.

1. Donor lady ordered and paid for a turkey dinner from the deli.  It seems logical to me that  at the time of ordering, the Deli gave a date of when the dinner would be ready, and how long they would hold it for before it would be unfit to sell due to its date past preparation.

2. Donor lady donated the dinner, and wrote the expiry date on the copy receipt.

3. Auction sister bought the dinner, and tried to collect a day after the expiry.  I believe in these cicumstances, neither the church or the deli needs to provide reimbursement or replacement, as the item was provided, the spoiled.

4. Add in the twist that the item was collected by the donor lady on the Thursday afternoon, I don't believe affects Auction sister's rights here as the dinner woudl have been discarded and unavailable to her regardless.  it is, however, incrediately inappropriate for the Donor lady to have claimed it, and i believe it should be reported to the church for their awareness.

If anyone was going to 'not waste the dinner' by donating it or otherwise using the meal, it is the deli.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Wordgeek on November 27, 2012, 06:49:12 PM
I've removed a few inappropriate / overly hostile / off-topic posts. 

Stay on topic.  Stay courteous.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Venus193 on November 27, 2012, 06:50:26 PM
Katycoo mostly covered the points I was going to list.

The OP's sister should have called the deli on Tuesday or Wednesday to see if she could get a chicken dinner on Saturday instead of the turkey dinner on Thursday.  However, that she didn't did not entitle the "donor" to claim the dinner on Thursday.

I would also be suspicious of something with that short a window to the expiration date.  The written-in date sounds to me to be earlier than the store's actual deadline.  I would have checked that expiry date with the deli.

If the store donated the dinner, they need better procedures for this.  Either way, the TL's actions are despicable.

The OP's sister needs to inform the church about this so they can take the appropriate action, starting with not allowing the turkey thief to have anything to do with running the charitable activities anymore.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: boxy on November 27, 2012, 06:53:48 PM
Wow.  What an etiquette mess!  Poor OP's family. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Wordgeek on November 27, 2012, 06:55:42 PM
I've decided to lock the topic in order to allow people to catch up on their reading so that the discussion can continue constructively.

The thread will be reopened in a few hours.

ETA thread unlocked.  Stay on topic and stay civil.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Otterpop on November 29, 2012, 02:18:05 PM
Yay!!! I'm glad this thread was unlocked.  Thank you Moderator.

OP, we are hoping for an update.  Just when you think you've heard it all, somebody comes up with another way to circumvent social graces!  Can't wait to hear the resolution.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: RingTailedLemur on November 29, 2012, 02:21:36 PM
Posting for updates.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: jedikaiti on November 29, 2012, 03:36:59 PM
Yes, and thanks for the temporary hold so everyone could catch up. This thread was going at Warp 9 for a while there!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: katiescarlett on November 29, 2012, 07:29:39 PM
Also posting for updates.   :)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LifeOnPluto on November 29, 2012, 07:48:50 PM
Hooray! Was beginning to think the mods had decided to keep this thread permanently locked.

On topic, regardless of whether the deadline was imposed by Turkey Lady, or the Deli, TL had absolutely no right to claim it before the deadline.

She might have had a case if she'd phoned the deli on Friday morning (ie after the deadline had passed) and said "Hey, by any chance, did the raffle winner NOT pick up the turkey dinner? And if they didn't do you still have it?" But even then, the polite thing would be for TL to call the OP's sis and remind her about her unclaimed prize...
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 30, 2012, 08:02:57 AM
Thanks for re-opening.

OP, I'm curious about the type of store providing the turkey dinner.  I was imagining one like a Logan's Farm where Pre-ordering isn't really required because they gave mains and sides Pre-made and you can pick one up pretty much anytime. 

But is it a grocery store deli that only makes the dinners if Pre-ordered and they only sell them during a short time during the holidays?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Syfygeek on November 30, 2012, 08:46:04 AM
I've been following this, and can't wait to hear more from the OP about what her sis decided to do- But, in the meantime, I thought I'd give my experience in Store Bought Turkey Dinners.

I worked at Kroger's, and in order to get Thanksgiving day off, I would work the night shift the Tuesday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving packing dinners.  We had them sorted by what was in it, not by name.  So we'd have orders for 200 standard dinners on Wednesday, and we'd pack up 250 or so and keep them in the cooler. Then we'd do the specials (ones with odd sides or whatever), these would be labeled by name.  And repeat the next night...  We generally had people picking up dinners Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and a smaller number of orders for Saturday.

Based on that experience, had I been the OP's sister, I would have thought that calling on Friday, I'd have a good shot at getting a dinner, especially since there should be one that hasn't been picked up.

We frequently had customers come to the counter wanting a dinner without preordering, and that's why we always had a few extras on hand.  And whatever dinners didn't get picked up, went into the hot bar as turkey pieces, or casserole.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Eden on November 30, 2012, 09:13:48 AM
I have nothing really to add to the conversation other than to express my utter fascination with it. People never cease to surprise me!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 09:40:04 AM
We oredered everything but the turkey for our dinner.  I think a lot of people order the whole thing or at least some sides. We had to order ahead and set up a pick up time.  I don't know if we hadn't picked it up by a certain time what they would have done with it - possibly sold it to somebody else? 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Venus193 on November 30, 2012, 09:49:07 AM
Every place I have ever heard of that does this requires advance orders.  Undoubtedly there is some customization for certain customers from time to time so I can't see an incident like this happening here.

Which opens the question of whether the turkey thief has gotten away with this before.

I hope we get an update.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: rose red on November 30, 2012, 10:02:03 AM
I'm sure there were extra turkey dinners lying around, but the reason the deli wouldn't give the sister one is because someone else already got a dinner for *that* receipt.  They can't give away two dinners on one receipt.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: HermioneGranger on November 30, 2012, 10:13:17 AM
I'm sure there were extra turkey dinners lying around, but the reason the deli wouldn't give the sister one is because someone else already got a dinner for *that* receipt.  They can't give away two dinners on one receipt.

Not to mention it was picked up with the original receipt, and not a photocopy. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 30, 2012, 10:15:11 AM
I'm sure there were extra turkey dinners lying around, but the reason the deli wouldn't give the sister one is because someone else already got a dinner for *that* receipt.  They can't give away two dinners on one receipt.

Not to mention it was picked up with the original receipt, and not a photocopy.

This is the reason I don't think the deli has any responsibility.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 30, 2012, 10:17:09 AM
I'm sure there were extra turkey dinners lying around, but the reason the deli wouldn't give the sister one is because someone else already got a dinner for *that* receipt.  They can't give away two dinners on one receipt.

Not to mention it was picked up with the original receipt, and not a photocopy.

This is the reason I don't think the deli has any responsibility.

Yeah, the deli thought they were doing exactly what they were supposed to do.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Isisnin on November 30, 2012, 10:43:00 AM
This saga reminds me of one of Judge Milan's (the judge on People's Court), favorite sayings, that her job is to "make people whole".  So who lost here?  Who came out whole? And who gained?

The OP's sister lost because she is out $50 and didn't get the turkey dinner.  Or if one thinks the OP should have abided by the expiration date that the TurkeyLady put on the copy of the receipt, one could say she is whole.  But the OP's sister definitely did not gain.

The store is whole as it only redeemed one receipt.

The church gained as it was supposed to have since it was a charity auction for the church. 

The TurkeyLady did purchase the receipt (the deli told the OP's sister that when they donate to a charity auction it's with a gift coupon, not a receipt.)  then she donated it to the church and she gets a tax deduction for denoting.  At that point she was "whole" - made a donation gets a tax donation.  For her to go and get the dinner too - she gained.

So TurkeyLady should be "ungained".  that is up to the church since TurkeyLady gave them the copy of the receipt.

I've told this story to different friends and neighbors who are very active in fundraising for their church and/or other charities, and they are all shocked to a one.  All of them agree that the church needs to know about this as such goings'on can hurt the churches rep and charities take great care to cultivate good relationships with local businesses in order to keep getting donations from them. 

How to resolve is a bafflement though.  One neighbor did later suggest to me that the church should call the TurkeyLady in, explain to her what happened and that the church has been embarrassed in front of both the deli and the OP's sister.  Then the church need to further explain that they feel strongly that the situation should be made right.  Finally, ask the TurkeyLady what she thinks should be done to make the situation right.

(edited to clarify that the church should say they are the one who feels things should be made right)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 30, 2012, 10:46:22 AM
This saga reminds me of one of Judge Milan's (the judge on People's Court), favorite sayings, that her job is to "make people whole".  So who lost here?  Who came out whole? And who gained?

The OP's sister lost because she is out $50 and didn't get the turkey dinner.  Or if one thinks the OP should have abided by the expiration date that the TurkeyLady put on the copy of the receipt, one could say she is whole.  But the OP's sister definitely did not gain.

The store is whole as it only redeemed one receipt.

The church gained as it was supposed to have since it was a charity auction for the church. 

The TurkeyLady did purchase the receipt (the deli told the OP's sister that when they donate to a charity auction it's with a gift coupon, not a receipt.)  then she donated it to the church and she gets a tax deduction for denoting.  At that point she was "whole" - made a donation gets a tax donation.  For her to go and get the dinner too - she gained.

So TurkeyLady should be "ungained".  that is up to the church since TurkeyLady gave them the copy of the receipt.

I've told this story to different friends and neighbors who are very active in fundraising for their church and/or other charities, and they are all shocked to a one.  All of them agree that the church needs to know about this as such goings'on can hurt the churches rep and charities take great care to cultivate good relationships with local businesses in order to keep getting donations from them. 

How to resolve is a bafflement though.  One neighbor did later suggest to me that the church should call the TurkeyLady in, explain to her what happened and that the church has been embarrassed in front of both the deli and the OP's sister and feels strongly that the situation should be made right.  Then ask the TurkeyLady what she thinks should be done to make the situation right.

Good post. Even if one feels that Sis is whole, Turkey Lady double dipped. There can be differing viewpoints on whether the sister is owed anything, but Turkey Lady has benefited twice from that dinner now.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: KarenK on November 30, 2012, 10:56:48 AM
This saga reminds me of one of Judge Milan's (the judge on People's Court), favorite sayings, that her job is to "make people whole".  So who lost here?  Who came out whole? And who gained?

The OP's sister lost because she is out $50 and didn't get the turkey dinner.  Or if one thinks the OP should have abided by the expiration date that the TurkeyLady put on the copy of the receipt, one could say she is whole.  But the OP's sister definitely did not gain.

The store is whole as it only redeemed one receipt.

The church gained as it was supposed to have since it was a charity auction for the church. 

The TurkeyLady did purchase the receipt (the deli told the OP's sister that when they donate to a charity auction it's with a gift coupon, not a receipt.)  then she donated it to the church and she gets a tax deduction for denoting.  At that point she was "whole" - made a donation gets a tax donation.  For her to go and get the dinner too - she gained.

So TurkeyLady should be "ungained".  that is up to the church since TurkeyLady gave them the copy of the receipt.

I've told this story to different friends and neighbors who are very active in fundraising for their church and/or other charities, and they are all shocked to a one.  All of them agree that the church needs to know about this as such goings'on can hurt the churches rep and charities take great care to cultivate good relationships with local businesses in order to keep getting donations from them. 

How to resolve is a bafflement though.  One neighbor did later suggest to me that the church should call the TurkeyLady in, explain to her what happened and that the church has been embarrassed in front of both the deli and the OP's sister and feels strongly that the situation should be made right.  Then ask the TurkeyLady what she thinks should be done to make the situation right.

Good post. Even if one feels that Sis is whole, Turkey Lady double dipped. There can be differing viewpoints on whether the sister is owed anything, but Turkey Lady has benefited twice from that dinner now.

I typed my own response. Then I read these. I'll attach myself to Yvaine and Isisnin.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Shoo on November 30, 2012, 11:05:24 AM
Did the OP's sister know about the expiration date before she made the auction bid?  This thread is so long, it just seems easier to ask rather than read back through 15 pages of posts.  Anyone remember?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 11:08:09 AM
Did the OP's sister know about the expiration date before she made the auction bid?  This thread is so long, it just seems easier to ask rather than read back through 15 pages of posts.  Anyone remember?

It is unclear.  We know sis kind of assumed it would come in the form of a gift card she could actually use for something other than turkey so I am not sure if they were unclear or she was just working on prior experience and not paying close attention.  She might not even be 100% sure whether or not they said anything about it.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Emmy on November 30, 2012, 11:51:14 AM
Hooray! Was beginning to think the mods had decided to keep this thread permanently locked.

On topic, regardless of whether the deadline was imposed by Turkey Lady, or the Deli, TL had absolutely no right to claim it before the deadline.

She might have had a case if she'd phoned the deli on Friday morning (ie after the deadline had passed) and said "Hey, by any chance, did the raffle winner NOT pick up the turkey dinner? And if they didn't do you still have it?" But even then, the polite thing would be for TL to call the OP's sis and remind her about her unclaimed prize...

Assuming Turkey Lady knew who won and had access to the OP's phone number, I think she should have phoned the OP to remind her of the deadline.  Her making such a short deadline, making all the phone calls, and picking up the dinner before the actual deadline seemed very self-serving.  I wonder if she had donated something similar in years past and always got to claim it for herself.  She gets credit for donating for the auction, a tax deduction, and a dinner.  Since the OP had a voucher and not the store gift card, I wonder if she would have had a problem with picking up the dinner even if Turkey Lady had not picked it up first.  I agree with those who said talk to the church and explain the problem.  Hopefully they can refund the money and make rules that would prevent this kind of thing in years to come.  The store had no way of knowing who was the rightful owner of the turkey dinner and they just honored a valid receipt.

In college, I remember asking local merchants to donate products and services for a charity auction.  I can see merchants imposing more deadlines and limits in this case than if somebody had purchased the service for the auction.  I assume this was not the case for this auction (or that would take Turkey Lady from bad to worse).  In any case, if somebody had purchased a gift card or voucher from the store for a certain price, it certainly wouldn't expire and be of no value in a few days.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: JenJay on November 30, 2012, 12:03:15 PM
What bothers me is that the Turkey Lady added her own expiration date to the donation, called repeatedly throughout the week to see if the dinner had been redeemed, and made no effort to ensure it had been picked up by the person who won it. She knew it hadn't been picked up by her expiration date so why didn't she contact one of the organizers of the auction and try to get word to the winner? It's pretty clear to me that she was hoping she could get credit for the donation and enjoy the meal herself. That goes against the spirit of the donation and I think people need to be made aware. What's to stop her doing this whenever the church does a fundraiser?

I think OP's Sis should contact the person in charge of the auction and explain that she tried to pick up her dinner and was told by the store manager that the dinner had already been claimed by the person who purchased it, using the original receipt as proof, and ask what they recommend she do. The church can put two and two together and go from there. Hopefully they will offer to refund her money or get her a gift card for the store. I hope someone has a word with Turkey Lady, as well!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 12:09:20 PM
What bothers me is that the Turkey Lady added her own expiration date to the donation, called repeatedly throughout the week to see if the dinner had been redeemed, and made no effort to ensure it had been picked up by the person who won it. She knew it hadn't been picked up by her expiration date so why didn't she contact one of the organizers of the auction and try to get word to the winner? It's pretty clear to me that she was hoping she could get credit for the donation and enjoy the meal herself. That goes against the spirit of the donation and I think people need to be made aware. What's to stop her doing this whenever the church does a fundraiser?

I think OP's Sis should contact the person in charge of the auction and explain that she tried to pick up her dinner and was told by the store manager that the dinner had already been claimed by the person who purchased it, using the original receipt as proof, and ask what they recommend she do. The church can put two and two together and go from there. Hopefully they will offer to refund her money or get her a gift card for the store. I hope someone has a word with Turkey Lady, as well!

I think we are still unclear though if she bought a turkey dinner from the deli and they said "that has to be picked up by closing on Thursday".  In that case she might have written the deadline but she didn't add her own deadline, KWIM?  I still don't like the sharking around but I think the creation of the deadline thing is still a bit murky.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Take2 on November 30, 2012, 12:51:00 PM
I don't know TurkeyLady, so it could well be true that the assumptions made here about her are true and she intended to double dip and nefariously stole the turkey dinner.

But it COULD also be true that she was worried things wouldn't work out. Perhaps the deli told her the turkey had to be claimed by Thursday afternoon, so she wrote it on the coupon. And then, having been to the deli, she was worried about so many employees. What if they didn't honor the coupon? So she checked up several times, because she wanted to make sure it went smoothly. Well, it didn't. Nobody showed up to claim the turkey at all. Since it wasn't a church member who won, she had no contact details available. So she ran and picked up the turkey dinner and donated it to a women's shelter or even the church's own mission. She would still be in the wrong, IMO, unless she ran this final choice by the church and they agreed to the plan. But she doesn't necessarily have to be a greedy woman perched on her chair ready to swoop down and eat someone else's dinner. It could just be a moment of bad judgement.

Either way, the church needs to be aware of how this played out. If the dinner was donated gladly and fetched a price near what they hoped, they are likely to repeat it next year, completely oblivious to how poorly it turned out behind the scenes this year!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Shoo on November 30, 2012, 12:58:37 PM
Turkey lady was WAY too invested in this dinner.  Why did she care whether or not it got picked up?  It wasn't hers.  So what if whoever bought it didn't pick it up?  That's not her business.  The repeated phone calls to the deli indicates to me that this woman intended all along to have that dinner for herself. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: bopper on November 30, 2012, 01:16:48 PM
As this was church related, I would contact the pastor of the church and explained what happened.   The OP redeemed the dinner on Thursday within the time frame stated.  The Turkey Lady knows who won the auction and should have been able to contact the OP if she was so concerned.  I would also tell the Pastor that the OP would like her money back.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 30, 2012, 01:18:10 PM
Turkey lady was WAY too invested in this dinner.  Why did she care whether or not it got picked up?  It wasn't hers.  So what if whoever bought it didn't pick it up?  That's not her business.  The repeated phone calls to the deli indicates to me that this woman intended all along to have that dinner for herself.

I agree with you. Once she donated it, it was no longer any of her concern and she shouldn't have cared at all. To me, the other details don't matter, she had no rights to the meal.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CreteGirl on November 30, 2012, 01:21:32 PM
I doubt that since the item was paid for, as evidenced by the receipt, that the store would impose such a tight deadline for redeeming the voucher.  I could understand if the voucher might expire after one year, but certainly not in a matter of weeks. 

So if Turkey Lady was so worried about the turkey not being picked up by the expiration date, why did she put such a short time frame on the redemption period?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 30, 2012, 01:21:48 PM
Quote
Since it wasn't a church member who won, she had no contact details available.

The OP's sister was a church member.

And it doesn't matter if the dinner wasn't picked up.  TL's getting it and donating it is way beyond her right.  She doesn't get to just decide to get the dinner and give it away.  It's not hers to do so.  If that's what she did, she still stole the dinner - even if it was donated.

(ETA:  Take2, I think you might have missed an update to the story - http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=123273.msg2837829#msg2837829 (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=123273.msg2837829#msg2837829))
 
 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 30, 2012, 01:24:20 PM
In this story, I cannot find any way that TL was in the right.  Not in what may have actually happened or in all the suppositions that we've put forth.

Whether the Deli has some responsibility in this, or the OP does, or the church does can be debated.  But nothing gives a pass to the TL that I can see.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 01:25:40 PM
I doubt that since the item was paid for, as evidenced by the receipt, that the store would impose such a tight deadline for redeeming the voucher.  I could understand if the voucher might expire after one year, but certainly not in a matter of weeks. 

So if Turkey Lady was so worried about the turkey not being picked up by the expiration date, why did she put such a short time frame on the redemption period?

Sine it was an entire turkey dinner the store might only be producing those through the Thanksgiving Holiday.  Whether that would end Thursday or not, who knows.  My family did order an entire dinner form a restaurant one year and I don't know if we could have ordered it the day after (kind of doubt it) but I know for certain that the dinners are not available most of the year.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Shoo on November 30, 2012, 01:27:40 PM
I doubt that since the item was paid for, as evidenced by the receipt, that the store would impose such a tight deadline for redeeming the voucher.  I could understand if the voucher might expire after one year, but certainly not in a matter of weeks. 

So if Turkey Lady was so worried about the turkey not being picked up by the expiration date, why did she put such a short time frame on the redemption period?

Sine it was an entire turkey dinner the store might only be producing those through the Thanksgiving Holiday.  Whether that would end Thursday or not, who knows.  My family did order an entire dinner form a restaurant one year and I don't know if we could have ordered it the day after (kind of doubt it) but I know for certain that the dinners are not available most of the year.

I would bet the deli had those dinners available through the holiday weekend to accommodate people who were celebrating on different days. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 01:29:45 PM
I think that is one of the issues many of us are curious about. It sounds like sis was doubtful that was the case since she was willing/expecting to accept a chicken dinner substitute.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 30, 2012, 01:30:05 PM
Quote
I would bet the deli had those dinners available through the holiday weekend to accommodate people who were celebrating on different days.

If this place is like my grocery store, they would have.  My store still had Thanksgiving stuff available on Sunday night when I went.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Lorelei_Evil on November 30, 2012, 01:33:47 PM
Quote
I would bet the deli had those dinners available through the holiday weekend to accommodate people who were celebrating on different days.

If this place is like my grocery store, they would have.  My store still had Thanksgiving stuff available on Sunday night when I went.

Same here.  I can get a turkey dinner with all the trimmings any time of year I ask for it provided the store is open and I give them 72 hours of notice. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CreteGirl on November 30, 2012, 01:34:40 PM
I doubt that since the item was paid for, as evidenced by the receipt, that the store would impose such a tight deadline for redeeming the voucher.  I could understand if the voucher might expire after one year, but certainly not in a matter of weeks. 

So if Turkey Lady was so worried about the turkey not being picked up by the expiration date, why did she put such a short time frame on the redemption period?

Sine it was an entire turkey dinner the store might only be producing those through the Thanksgiving Holiday.  Whether that would end Thursday or not, who knows.  My family did order an entire dinner form a restaurant one year and I don't know if we could have ordered it the day after (kind of doubt it) but I know for certain that the dinners are not available most of the year.

I can understand why the turkey dinner may not be available after Thanksgiving. But substituting the turkey dinner for chicken is a reasonable expectation, since the store had already been paid $50. 

Yes, I understand the dinner was already made and would have to been thrown out if not picked up.  I'm sure that is why the store typically does gift cards.  TL could have purchased a gift card, but instead chose to order a turkey to be prepared in time for Thanksgiving, instead of giving the successful bidder the option to order the turkey at a later date, such as for Christmas dinner.  Why put that type of stipulation, when the gift card would have been just as easy?  And even if the date was made known at the time of the auction, why decrease the amount of potential bidders by eliminating people who may have already bought their turkey or were going to other people's homes for Thanksgiving dinner.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 30, 2012, 01:37:43 PM
Quote
Yes, I understand the dinner was already made and would have to been thrown out if not picked up.

No it doesn't!

Again, taking my own store as the example in my mind, that turkey and trimmings would have ended up in the "hot meat" thingy the next day.  You know, that area where they have roasted chickens and stuff.

Nothing would have "gone to waste" had no one picked this turkey dinner up.  It would have just been sold to someone else.  There was no dire need to rescue this turkey dinner from going into the garbage just because the OP's sis didn't pick it up before X:XX.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 30, 2012, 01:40:39 PM
I think that is one of the issues many of us are curious about. It sounds like sis was doubtful that was the case since she was willing/expecting to accept a chicken dinner substitute.

Being willing to be flexible just in case they were out of turkey doesn't a wrong make.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: lowspark on November 30, 2012, 01:54:15 PM
Here are a couple of questions which might not be answerable but I'm curious.

1. What happens, (in general), if someone reserves and pays for a turkey dinner but doesn't pick it up by whatever deadline the store actually does impose?
I looked on line at some sample places which are advertising turkey dinners for TG & Christmas and they usually give an exact time frame of when the meal must be picked up. None of them say what happens if you don't pick it up.

2. Would the deli have honored the photocopied receipt as a valid proof of purchase had the winning bidder actually tried to redeem it? There is a chance they might not have.

Again, though, this does not affect the fact that Turkey Lady took something which did not belong to her. Once she made the donation to the church, it belonged to the church. After that, any attempt by her to obtain the turkey dinner constitutes stealing.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: gramma dishes on November 30, 2012, 02:18:16 PM


2. Would the deli have honored the photocopied receipt as a valid proof of purchase had the winning bidder actually tried to redeem it? There is a chance they might not have.


I finally just got to the end of this thread and Lowspark asked the question I'd had all along.  I can't imagine that any deli would have accepted a photocopy of a receipt as being anything but a useless piece of trash.  They would require (I would think) either a gift card or the original receipt.

I think Turkey Lady knew this and I suspect that even had Sister gone in within the handwritten, and unexpectedly short, time frame to pick up her Turkey Dinner, the deli would not have honored her copy of a receipt.  How would they know that there weren't ten or a couple of hundred copies out there floating around?!   ???
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 30, 2012, 02:20:48 PM


2. Would the deli have honored the photocopied receipt as a valid proof of purchase had the winning bidder actually tried to redeem it? There is a chance they might not have.


I finally just got to the end of this thread and Lowspark asked the question I'd had all along.  I can't imagine that any deli would have accepted a photocopy of a receipt as being anything but a useless piece of trash.  They would require (I would think) either a gift card or the original receipt.

I think Turkey Lady knew this and I suspect that even had Sister gone in within the handwritten, and unexpectedly short, time frame to pick up her Turkey Dinner, the deli would not have honored her copy of a receipt.  How would they know that there weren't ten or a couple of hundred copies out there floating around?!   ???

Very, very good point! Sis was never given anything valid to redeem.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 02:22:33 PM
I think that is one of the issues many of us are curious about. It sounds like sis was doubtful that was the case since she was willing/expecting to accept a chicken dinner substitute.

Being willing to be flexible just in case they were out of turkey doesn't a wrong make.

Who said it did?  I mentioned it because people seemed to assume that there would still be turkey while sis who is familiar with this paticular store seemed to think there wouldn't.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: O'Dell on November 30, 2012, 02:23:03 PM
Here are a couple of questions which might not be answerable but I'm curious.

1. What happens, (in general), if someone reserves and pays for a turkey dinner but doesn't pick it up by whatever deadline the store actually does impose?
I looked on line at some sample places which are advertising turkey dinners for TG & Christmas and they usually give an exact time frame of when the meal must be picked up. None of them say what happens if you don't pick it up.

2. Would the deli have honored the photocopied receipt as a valid proof of purchase had the winning bidder actually tried to redeem it? There is a chance they might not have.

Again, though, this does not affect the fact that Turkey Lady took something which did not belong to her. Once she made the donation to the church, it belonged to the church. After that, any attempt by her to obtain the turkey dinner constitutes stealing.

I agree. The church needs to return the OP's money. At that point they have not gained or lost money. Then they can decide how to deal with the donator and/or thief. It's up to the church to investigate since they are the ones in a position to know who had access to the receipt and when it became the "copy" given to the OP's sister.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 30, 2012, 02:26:51 PM
I think that is one of the issues many of us are curious about. It sounds like sis was doubtful that was the case since she was willing/expecting to accept a chicken dinner substitute.

Being willing to be flexible just in case they were out of turkey doesn't a wrong make.

Who said it did?  I mentioned it because people seemed to assume that there would still be turkey while sis who is familiar with this paticular store seemed to think there wouldn't.


I'm thinking of this post from earlier in the thread where it seemed she was being criticized for being willing to accept a substitute, because this somehow meant she didn't really want the prize. I think she came up with the chicken idea while unsure whether they'd still have turkey.

I agree she has the right to let the church know and to get what she paid for which would be the turkey dinner. However, I do think it is somewhat significant that she didn't have any great attachment to what she paid for and that she was actually hoping to negotiate something a bit different herself. People keep referring to getting what she paid for - that is a turkey dinner. If the church is required to delover what she paid for it would be the turkey dinner. I don't know if that would thrill her because she wasn't excited to find out that what she paid for was literally what she was getting.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 02:39:50 PM
Honestly, I think a turkey dinner might bring in more than a $50 gc.  To me a $50 gc makes very little sense.  It is like auctioning off a $50 bill.  How high will people go ona $50 bill/gc?  Probably not much higher than $50.  But if you bid a dinner and all the sides, a Thanksgiving day free of all the work the dollar value of that is a bit more subjective - to some people that might be worth $75 or more.  So I guess as a gneral question it makes a lot of sense to me that a donor would choose a dinner over a gc.  I think it would have the potential to bring in more money.

Captain, I didn't read it wrong - before the deadline she wondered about substituting, when she called after it was with the assumption that there might not be turkey and she was going to tell them she would take chicken if that was the case.  I do believe that would have worked out the way she wished anyway but she was thinking there might not be turkey by friday.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CaptainObvious on November 30, 2012, 02:47:37 PM
Honestly, I think a turkey dinner might bring in more than a $50 gc.  To me a $50 gc makes very little sense.  It is like auctioning off a $50 bill.  How high will people go ona $50 bill/gc?  Probably not much higher than $50.  But if you bid a dinner and all the sides, a Thanksgiving day free of all the work the dollar value of that is a bit more subjective - to some people that might be worth $75 or more.  So I guess as a gneral question it makes a lot of sense to me that a donor would choose a dinner over a gc.  I think it would have the potential to bring in more money.

Captain, I didn't read it wrong - before the deadline she wondered about substituting, when she called after it was with the assumption that there might not be turkey and she was going to tell them she would take chicken if that was the case.  I do believe that would have worked out the way she wished anyway but she was thinking there might not be turkey by friday.

That is why I said early in the thread that I believe the Deli donated the meal to the Church. What would be the point of paying $50, and then getting $50. There is no profit, so the Church would have no gain. Most people solicit donations for their Church. Is that speculation, yes, but I can't think of any other reason why this woman would go to such lengths to make sure she got the dinner. A tax write-off would not be worth this much trouble.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 02:50:54 PM
The information OP provided indicates that was not the case.  And the donor had no idea what the dinner would go for.  It could have gone for more than that, there is no way of knowing ahead of time.  It isn't like she would have planned for the highest bid to be the exact amount she paid.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 30, 2012, 02:51:42 PM
Honestly, I think a turkey dinner might bring in more than a $50 gc.  To me a $50 gc makes very little sense.  It is like auctioning off a $50 bill.  How high will people go ona $50 bill/gc?  Probably not much higher than $50.  But if you bid a dinner and all the sides, a Thanksgiving day free of all the work the dollar value of that is a bit more subjective - to some people that might be worth $75 or more.  So I guess as a gneral question it makes a lot of sense to me that a donor would choose a dinner over a gc.  I think it would have the potential to bring in more money.

You've said yourself, though, that sometimes people bid over the value of things when it's for charity, so there's at least a possibility it might go higher.

And it sounds like that's the way the store does it, so if Turkey Lady had followed the store's procedure, a GC would be the way the store would have done it, even if it's not the way you personally would prefer. It may be that they can even do "turkey dinner" gift certificates rather than a dollar amount. I've received gift certificates for "one (item)" rather than a numerical amount. But what I seriously doubt they do is honor photocopied receipts. Turkey Lady was incompetent at best and a grifter at worst.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 30, 2012, 02:53:46 PM
Honestly, I think a turkey dinner might bring in more than a $50 gc.  To me a $50 gc makes very little sense.  It is like auctioning off a $50 bill.  How high will people go ona $50 bill/gc?  Probably not much higher than $50.  But if you bid a dinner and all the sides, a Thanksgiving day free of all the work the dollar value of that is a bit more subjective - to some people that might be worth $75 or more.  So I guess as a gneral question it makes a lot of sense to me that a donor would choose a dinner over a gc.  I think it would have the potential to bring in more money.

Captain, I didn't read it wrong - before the deadline she wondered about substituting, when she called after it was with the assumption that there might not be turkey and she was going to tell them she would take chicken if that was the case.  I do believe that would have worked out the way she wished anyway but she was thinking there might not be turkey by friday.

That is why I said early in the thread that I believe the Deli donated the meal to the Church. What would be the point of paying $50, and then getting $50. There is no profit, so the Church would have no gain. Most people solicit donations for their Church. Is that speculation, yes, but I can't think of any other reason why this woman would go to such lengths to make sure she got the dinner. A tax write-off would not be worth this much trouble.

Oooh! What if they sent Turkey Lady to the store with church funds to buy a prize, and then Turkey Lady set it up to scam the church? My sticking point with this theory has been that if the church contacted the store, the store would have done a GC--but if Turkey Lady was the middleman, it all makes sense.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on November 30, 2012, 02:58:25 PM
Honestly, I think a turkey dinner might bring in more than a $50 gc.  To me a $50 gc makes very little sense.  It is like auctioning off a $50 bill.  How high will people go ona $50 bill/gc?  Probably not much higher than $50.  But if you bid a dinner and all the sides, a Thanksgiving day free of all the work the dollar value of that is a bit more subjective - to some people that might be worth $75 or more.  So I guess as a gneral question it makes a lot of sense to me that a donor would choose a dinner over a gc.  I think it would have the potential to bring in more money.

You've said yourself, though, that sometimes people bid over the value of things when it's for charity, so there's at least a possibility it might go higher.

And it sounds like that's the way the store does it, so if Turkey Lady had followed the store's procedure, a GC would be the way the store would have done it, even if it's not the way you personally would prefer. It may be that they can even do "turkey dinner" gift certificates rather than a dollar amount. I've received gift certificates for "one (item)" rather than a numerical amount. But what I seriously doubt they do is honor photocopied receipts. Turkey Lady was incompetent at best and a grifter at worst.

Yeah, people bid over on things.  A gc is basically money.  So bidding $75 on $50 doesn't make nearly as much sense as bidding $75 on a turkey dinner that happened to have cost the donor $50.  (I do think that if the cash value of the dinner was known I would not actually mention that when auctioning the dinner)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Bexx27 on November 30, 2012, 03:09:29 PM
I attend an annual silent auction for a nonprofit and there are several gift cards for local restaurants. The way it works is that a volunteer approaches the restaurant on behalf of the organization and the restaurant donates a gift card. The restaurant, not the volunteer, is the donor. The description of the item is usually something like "Tex-Mex dinner for 4 at Burrito Barn!" and the fine print says it's actually a gift certificate for $40. The whole photocopied receipt thing is so shady.

ETA: It's also common for the winning bid to be higher than the value of the gift card. Bidders are mostly there to benefit the organization.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Isisnin on November 30, 2012, 03:21:53 PM
...............

That is why I said early in the thread that I believe the Deli donated the meal to the Church. What would be the point of paying $50, and then getting $50. There is no profit, so the Church would have no gain. Most people solicit donations for their Church. Is that speculation, yes, but I can't think of any other reason why this woman would go to such lengths to make sure she got the dinner. A tax write-off would not be worth this much trouble.

The Deli said they didn't donate it.  As GrammarNerd (the OP) posted in her second post of this thread: "Third, the deli manager was quite adamant that charity donations like this are NEVER done this way.  Gift cards are used. Period.  He was really puzzled as to why my sister had a duplicate receipt and a handwritten note for this."

There doesn't seem to have been any reasoning behind the TurkeyLady's actions.  It's as if she intentionally kept the original receipt and gave the copy of it to the church to ensure no one else collected the dinner (since the deli most probably would not honor the copy).  Then she could get the dinner using the original receipt she kept for herself.  But then the deli and the buyer from the auction would know what she did. 

Why try to a appear to be a nice person by donating something for the church that's not legit (a copy of a receipt, undoubtedly unusable) while at the same time sabotaging your nice person image by ensuring you'll be caught (by claiming the meal with the real, original receipt)?  there is no reasoning behind all that.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Wordgeek on November 30, 2012, 03:43:12 PM
Captain Obvious, I've deleted a few of your posts that were inappropriate.  Either stay civil or don't post.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: prock929 on November 30, 2012, 04:47:19 PM


Why try to a appear to be a nice person by donating something for the church that's not legit (a copy of a receipt, undoubtedly unusable) while at the same time sabotaging your nice person image by ensuring you'll be caught (by claiming the meal with the real, original receipt)?  there is no reasoning behind all that.


I suspect that things didn't  go the way TL had planned.

Could it be possible that TL was trying to time it so that she could pick up the Dinner after OP's sister tried to redeem her (possibly invalid) copied receipt?  That could explain the multiple phone calls from TL to the Deli and the 'expiration date' imposed by TL.  Think about it - if OP's sister had tried to collect the Dinner using a photocopied receipt, she probably would not have been able to get it.  Then TL shows up with the original receipt (and possibly the deli had no idea this was a prize, just that TL had ordered a Turkey Dinner to be picked up later) and TL goes home with the dinner.  If OP's sister had tried to get a hold of TL to get the original receipt, TL would probably have ignored her until after the "deadline".   I suspect that because OP's sister waited "so long" to redeem her prize, TL got nervous that she wouldn't be able to get "her" (TL's) dinner in time for her Thanksgiving Dinner.  Thus TL picked up the dinner herself before OP's sister went to redeem her prize.

My apologies if this is unclear. 

I agree with PP's who think that this was part of TL's plan from the beginning and that OP's sister needs to contact her church at the
very least to let them know that she didn't get her prize.  (who knows, maybe this has happened before but the church wrote it off as a 'mistake'.)

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Jaelle on November 30, 2012, 04:52:07 PM
Why try to a appear to be a nice person by donating something for the church that's not legit (a copy of a receipt, undoubtedly unusable) while at the same time sabotaging your nice person image by ensuring you'll be caught (by claiming the meal with the real, original receipt)?  there is no reasoning behind all that.

I'm going to differ a little.

I agree it's possible Turkey Lady was running a scam of some kind.

However.

I'm picturing a few slightly dotty ladies at the church where I grew up. (Not that I mean all church ladies are dotty ... oh, you know what I mean.)  This could also be a sincerely well-meaning person who simply wanted to do a good thing, had a somewhat confused and impractical idea about how to go about it and then was so worried it would "go to waste" that she kept calling to be sure that it was redeemed. (And when it wasn't, picked it up herself. Maybe even donated it to a shelter or something.)

It doesn't make it right. But it doesn't mean it's a plot, either.

Maybe I just don't want to assume the worst. Naive, perhaps. :P  But I think it's at least as likely as a planned-out scam.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on November 30, 2012, 05:13:32 PM
Quote
But it doesn't mean it's a plot, either.

May not be a nefarious plot.  But, if this is the case, this "dotty lady" needs to be informed that she stole something.  And that's not the most Christian-like thing to be doing.  She needs a little guidance on how to not do something illegal - even if she did think it was, somehow, benevolent.

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Jaelle on November 30, 2012, 06:21:16 PM
Oh, I agree with that. I'm just betting (hoping) that there was nothing ill intentioned.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 30, 2012, 06:35:16 PM
Honestly, I think a turkey dinner might bring in more than a $50 gc.  To me a $50 gc makes very little sense.  It is like auctioning off a $50 bill.  How high will people go ona $50 bill/gc?  Probably not much higher than $50.  But if you bid a dinner and all the sides, a Thanksgiving day free of all the work the dollar value of that is a bit more subjective - to some people that might be worth $75 or more.  So I guess as a gneral question it makes a lot of sense to me that a donor would choose a dinner over a gc.  I think it would have the potential to bring in more money.

Captain, I didn't read it wrong - before the deadline she wondered about substituting, when she called after it was with the assumption that there might not be turkey and she was going to tell them she would take chicken if that was the case.  I do believe that would have worked out the way she wished anyway but she was thinking there might not be turkey by friday.

That is why I said early in the thread that I believe the Deli donated the meal to the Church. What would be the point of paying $50, and then getting $50. There is no profit, so the Church would have no gain. Most people solicit donations for their Church. Is that speculation, yes, but I can't think of any other reason why this woman would go to such lengths to make sure she got the dinner. A tax write-off would not be worth this much trouble.

No, I don't think the deli donated.  The turkey lady as a member of the church decided her donation for the charity was a dinner and she bought it from the deli.  That is why she had a receipt.  While most auction items are usually business donations, it is not unheard of to have a member of the organization donate items they have bought.  But I do agree the church did not buy the dinner. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Amara on November 30, 2012, 06:41:52 PM
Is it possible the TL originally ordered and paid for the dinner for herself and her family (which would explain the receipt), then when asked for a donation by the church suddenly thought, "I'll donate the dinner!" without thinking through the ramifications of that action?

Regardless of why she did what she did--and frankly it really doesn't matter--she needs to make things right with the church. The church is responsible for making things right with the bidder.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Marguette on November 30, 2012, 07:56:30 PM
People have been mentioning that she has to go straight to the top – the pastor. Actually, it depends how the business end of the church is organized.

In some churches the pastor would have nothing to do with it, and the only thing s/he could do is point Sister to the right person – the head of the committee that organized the fundraiser, with the ultimate organizational responsibility lying with the congregational chairperson – that’s what it’s called in my church, the position could have a different name in Sister’s church.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on November 30, 2012, 08:58:32 PM
Is it possible the TL originally ordered and paid for the dinner for herself and her family (which would explain the receipt), then when asked for a donation by the church suddenly thought, "I'll donate the dinner!" without thinking through the ramifications of that action?

That's one of my guesses, yeah. Bought it for herself, realized she'd volunteered to donate something to the auction and forgotten to buy an item to donate, and the rest is history.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: sammycat on November 30, 2012, 09:53:09 PM
The Pastor needs to require this woman to pay your sister back - and publicly apologize to the entire congregation for her fraud. She should never be allowed to have any position that involves her handling money for the church ever again. If she refuses the church should denounce the woman and bar her from entering the church.

$ to doughnuts - she paid for the meal with church money, expecting the "winner" to over look the date and write it off so that she could get a free Thanksgiving meal.

I agree.  Turkey Lady is a thief, plain and simple. Her multiple calls to the shop shows how premeditated her actions/plans were.  She needs to be called publicly on her actions.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: sammycat on November 30, 2012, 09:55:05 PM
The reason I don't think the deli is responsible is that I don't think they ever knew it was an auction prize. All they knew was that Turkey Lady ordered a turkey dinner, behaved oddly by calling about it a lot, and then came to pick it up with the receipt she'd gotten when she initially paid. They probably had many orders like this during the run-up to the holiday. The deli had no idea they were supposed to reserve it for someone else and that Turkey Lady was being sneaky. If Turkey Lady had actually told them it was a prize, they'd have done their usual procedure of making it a gift card.

I agree; however, you're more generous than I am in simply calling TL "sneaky".  I prefer to call her what she is - a thief. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: floridamom on November 30, 2012, 11:00:03 PM
Boy do we need an update!!!  Where's the update??  :) :) GrammarNerd!! Where are you?  Calling for Grammarnerd for an update LOL  ;D ;D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: rain on December 01, 2012, 02:21:51 PM
ditto - on wanting an update
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: BarensMom on December 01, 2012, 03:00:27 PM
 I guess the polite thing is for us to give GrammarNerd until Monday to see if her sister had a chance to talk to someone at the church.

What a pity we can't all chant "update, update."
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Iris on December 01, 2012, 03:05:24 PM
I guess the polite thing is for us to give GrammarNerd until Monday to see if her sister had a chance to talk to someone at the church.

What a pity we can't all chant "update, update."

Well, we can, but GrammarNerd won't hear us so I don't know if it will work  ;D

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Nibsey on December 01, 2012, 04:25:15 PM
I guess the polite thing is for us to give GrammarNerd until Monday to see if her sister had a chance to talk to someone at the church.

What a pity we can't all chant "update, update."

Well, we can, but GrammarNerd won't hear us so I don't know if it will work  ;D

She will if we all do it loud enough... ;D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: gmatoy on December 01, 2012, 08:48:41 PM
Update! Update! Update! What do we want? Update! When do we want it? Now! (That was me chanting.)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: PurpleFrog on December 02, 2012, 01:12:17 PM
I'm so glad to see this thread back, it was going to.niggle me forever wondering how it turned out out. GrammerNerd pleeese come back and tell us soon
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: floridamom on December 02, 2012, 03:31:16 PM
Update! Update! Update! What do we want? Update! When do we want it? Now! (That was me chanting.)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: mindicherry on December 03, 2012, 12:06:15 AM
here is my take on it, being someone who has chaired many H&S (PTA, for some) fundraisers, and beause of my business, been in the position to donate quite a bit of product to causes.

Turkey Mom is just 15 kinds of wrong.

I don't care of she thought a dinner was going to go to waste.  I don't care if she set it up so she could get the donation.  I don't even care if she PAID for the dinner and was worried that it was going to waste.

When you solicit a donation (or donate your own money for an event/cause), it ceases to become "yours".  It's just like a gift that you can't dictate how it is used.  It is a GIFT.

About 18 months ago, I won a Karate party for 12 ($250 value) at a local studio as part of my $5/head Bingo Night at a school event.  It is likely that I will NEVER use that voucher. We had a fun family night for $25, I actually won 3 other rounds....just this prize, I probably won't be using

But if anyone else tried to "redeem" that offer because I had yet to do so?  I would be raising Cain!.  it's MY choice what to do with that prize.  If I want to give that karate studio the opportunity to declare a charitable donation that was never redeemed?  That is the winner's choice.  Not the donor's choice.

The church should be made aware of what Turkey Lady has done!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Nora on December 03, 2012, 04:57:34 AM
I want an update SO BADLY!  :-[
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: ettiquit on December 03, 2012, 12:19:04 PM
Just posting for updates.  I hope GrammarNerd can convince sis to get all Sherlock Holmes about this!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Eeep! on December 03, 2012, 05:22:27 PM
here is my take on it, being someone who has chaired many H&S (PTA, for some) fundraisers, and beause of my business, been in the position to donate quite a bit of product to causes.

Turkey Mom is just 15 kinds of wrong.

I don't care of she thought a dinner was going to go to waste.  I don't care if she set it up so she could get the donation.  I don't even care if she PAID for the dinner and was worried that it was going to waste.

When you solicit a donation (or donate your own money for an event/cause), it ceases to become "yours".  It's just like a gift that you can't dictate how it is used.  It is a GIFT.

About 18 months ago, I won a Karate party for 12 ($250 value) at a local studio as part of my $5/head Bingo Night at a school event.  It is likely that I will NEVER use that voucher. We had a fun family night for $25, I actually won 3 other rounds....just this prize, I probably won't be using

But if anyone else tried to "redeem" that offer because I had yet to do so?  I would be raising Cain!.  it's MY choice what to do with that prize.  If I want to give that karate studio the opportunity to declare a charitable donation that was never redeemed?  That is the winner's choice.  Not the donor's choice.

The church should be made aware of what Turkey Lady has done!

I agree with the above.
But mostly I'm just posting for updates. ;)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: greencat on December 03, 2012, 06:51:30 PM
I think, as the old saying goes, the TurkeyLady "Had her cake and ate it too" meaning that she benefited both from the attributes of the object (the goodwill and status and potential tax benefits of donating) and from the consumption of the object (literally getting to eat the turkey dinner, in this case.)

It was definitely fishy that she was given a copied receipt with a handwritten expiration date and the original donor kept the original receipt and used it to pick up the turkey...

Sister definitely needs to go to the organizers of the auction at the church and let them know exactly what happened, and I believe that she needs to have her money returned to her or the turkey dinner "made good" unless she is willing to make it a no-strings-attached donation instead of a charity auction purchase.

Also, of course, posting so I get an update notification when GrammarNerd is ready :)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: peach2play on December 04, 2012, 03:48:28 PM
Awww I got all the way to the end hoping for an update *sniffle*.  I will simply have to console myself with some good guac and chips.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Softly Spoken on December 04, 2012, 06:29:32 PM
I've been involved in a few auction fiascoes (as the prize donor not the bidder/winner) and I am not surprised that this happened. All too often a charity fundraiser degenerates into backbiting and ridiculous entitlement - when the whole point is supposed to be about giving to others! >:(

I don't know what it is about charity auctions that turn people into gimme pigs. When we ran a party business together, my friend and I came to loathe the "auction parties" - we had done them for publicity but quickly realized NOT WORTH IT and NEVER AGAIN! :P

So yeah that's me ranty two cents...anyways, update plz?  ;D *does Puss n Boots eyes*
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: KenveeB on December 04, 2012, 06:57:46 PM
Also posting for updates. I hope we hear something!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Kaypeep on December 04, 2012, 07:13:07 PM
I've been involved in a few auction fiascoes (as the prize donor not the bidder/winner) and I am not surprised that this happened. All too often a charity fundraiser degenerates into backbiting and ridiculous entitlement - when the whole point is supposed to be about giving to others! >:(

I don't know what it is about charity auctions that turn people into gimme pigs. When we ran a party business together, my friend and I came to loathe the "auction parties" - we had done them for publicity but quickly realized NOT WORTH IT and NEVER AGAIN! :P

So yeah that's me ranty two cents...anyways, update plz?  ;D *does Puss n Boots eyes*

At my last job at a zoo, we donated memberships to many school fundraisers.  I implemented a database to track them, and after several years we started noticing the same school had the same winner each year.  Coincidentally, the winner was also the contact person requesting the donation.  That school was dropped as a recipient the following year and politely (and truthfully) told that we had hundreds of requests a year and had to rotate the recipients to ensure fairness.   >:D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: NyaChan on December 04, 2012, 07:29:59 PM
Reminds me of my HS teacher - She used to be a huge donor for a local fundraising race.  She'd have all us students drum up money and support, donate the money, take the awesome prizes like a big screen tv and then give us the hats and t-shirts that came with it.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: jedikaiti on December 04, 2012, 07:44:51 PM
I've been involved in a few auction fiascoes (as the prize donor not the bidder/winner) and I am not surprised that this happened. All too often a charity fundraiser degenerates into backbiting and ridiculous entitlement - when the whole point is supposed to be about giving to others! >:(

I don't know what it is about charity auctions that turn people into gimme pigs. When we ran a party business together, my friend and I came to loathe the "auction parties" - we had done them for publicity but quickly realized NOT WORTH IT and NEVER AGAIN! :P

So yeah that's me ranty two cents...anyways, update plz?  ;D *does Puss n Boots eyes*

Any good stories to entertain us while we wait for updates?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Softly Spoken on December 05, 2012, 12:32:14 AM
I've been involved in a few auction fiascoes (as the prize donor not the bidder/winner) and I am not surprised that this happened. All too often a charity fundraiser degenerates into backbiting and ridiculous entitlement - when the whole point is supposed to be about giving to others! >:(

I don't know what it is about charity auctions that turn people into gimme pigs. When we ran a party business together, my friend and I came to loathe the "auction parties" - we had done them for publicity but quickly realized NOT WORTH IT and NEVER AGAIN! :P

So yeah that's me ranty two cents...anyways, update plz?  ;D *does Puss n Boots eyes*

Any good stories to entertain us while we wait for updates?

 ::) Wellllll I suppose they should go in that "Special Snowflake" thread but let's see...

We hosted themed children's parties and sold party "packages" - the basic Silver and then the Gold with the extra bells and whistles. We donated a Silver Party package to a nearby school to get our name out there and make good community PR. Then the mom who won it calls and it's special requests out to wazoo. Basically trying to get us up to Gold without paying any extra money. With the rental of the place where we held the parties our profit margins were pretty non-existent - we rationalized the auction parties as write-off/publicity/ad expense but quickly realized that dealing with the entitlement of the parents who got them wasn't worth it. The kids were usually great (or at least managable and if all else failed easily intimitated ;)) - it was the parents who were high maintenance terrors. I think the last straw was the auction winner who brought in twice as many people as has been agreed on and tried to turn it into an adult party, when the adults were just supposed to drop the kids off. Our little party house filled to twice the maximum capacity and everyone griping to us that there wasn't enough parking, seating or party supplies - my friend (who owned the business with her mom) was this close to making a bunch of kids orphans that day! >:D

I've honestly blocked out most of them but I remember we would flag scheduled parties as dangerous - i.e. "oh crud, this one's an Auction Party" and then brace ourselves. I would watch my friend answer the phone: "Hello? What's that? You won one of our parties at your school's raffle?" *looks at me and mime's shooting herself in the head.* Oh that's wonderful let me see what we have available..." ::)

Oh yeah, pushy entitled parents = fun times.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Eden on December 05, 2012, 08:54:52 AM
I had a dream about the Turkey Thief last night! I really don't remember the details but it was something like she inadvertently outed herself to me and I believe I called her out on it. It was very therapeutic and I wasn't even involved in the incident! I highly recommend dream confrontations. They are fantastic.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Stormtreader on December 05, 2012, 11:23:06 AM
So did the OPs sister ever go back to the church to ask what the heck went on with her missing dinner?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: JenJay on December 05, 2012, 11:44:51 AM
Per GN's profile, she hasn't been back on eHell since 11/27, shortly after her most recent update. Hopefully she's just busy and will update us when she next hops back on the forum.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: nalapuppy on December 05, 2012, 11:49:11 AM
At my last job at a zoo, we donated memberships to many school fundraisers.  I implemented a database to track them, and after several years we started noticing the same school had the same winner each year.  Coincidentally, the winner was also the contact person requesting the donation.  That school was dropped as a recipient the following year and politely (and truthfully) told that we had hundreds of requests a year and had to rotate the recipients to ensure fairness.   >:D

It could be possible that nobody else was interested in that prize, so the donor bought it each year so it wouldn't be wasted.  Ok, not likely....just attempting to think positive on this.   :) There are so many selfish greedy people out there.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Softly Spoken on December 06, 2012, 09:12:13 PM
Checked back for an update and was thinking to kill time: anyone have a best/worst/funniest thing every 'won' at an auction or raffle?

The best one my dad got at my grade school silent auction - free dessert every month for a year by this lady who was an awesome baker.  ;D The last thing she did was a cheesecake that a) introduced grade school me to cheesecake and b) spoiled me by making me a cheesecake snob forever! :P *lost in delicious memories* The thing was almost a foot tall... *yum*...
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: greencat on December 06, 2012, 09:38:44 PM
I can't think of a "best" thing I've won from a raffle before, but I won a misspelled t-shirt once...
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Venus193 on December 06, 2012, 09:46:51 PM
I donated something that got a nice amount of money for a charity auction in my office (in 2000).  My department decided to auction off media tzochkes to the rest of the agency and donate the proceeds to our pro bono client's organization.

A media sales rep gave me a Margarita Kit, which consisted of a heavy pitcher, two seriously oversized stemware glasses, a two-liter bottle of Margarita Mix, and a two-liter bottle of Jose Cuervo.  This was packed with hay in a nice wooden box.  Someone in the art department won it for $100, which might have been what it would have cost at retail.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on December 06, 2012, 09:53:28 PM
I can't think of a "best" thing I've won from a raffle before, but I won a misspelled t-shirt once...

I won a logo'ed work shirt from the company who donated it  ;D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Lynnv on December 06, 2012, 10:05:33 PM
Best: a $200 gift certificate to the local motorcycle shop that I regularly get my oil change supplies at tied with a pair of free tires for my bike.

Worst: An unfortunate pile of Starbucks gift cards (neither DH nor I like anything there-and we don't drink coffee, so we can't even just buy beans).  We end up giving them to my sister.  Starbucks tends to be a big donor for charity motorcycle events-so we see a fair number of them at poker runs and charity raffles.  Great of them to donate, of course.  But not something we like or appreciate.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on December 06, 2012, 10:09:01 PM
I won a photo session with a local photographer who closed up shop and moved 2 weeks after the auction.

The best was a week at a mountain vacation house. 

Then another at our school's auction I won a weekend at a very large lake house during the live auction.  We and 2 other families had decided to bid on it to go together, though I was the one doing the bidding.  I couldn't believe the number of mom's/friends who assumed I was bidding on it for a girl's weekend and were putting their names on the list to go.  Several of them were really irritated I'd waste the weekend on a get away with husbands and kids.  (To be fair, mom's weekends were popular in our group and I had participated in several and hosted one.)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: jedikaiti on December 06, 2012, 10:18:18 PM
My (private) high school has a fundraising auction once a year. One year a group of parents got together and had a classic VW Beetle fixed up, painted in the red from the school colors, and re-upholstered in (red plaid) material from our school's uniform skirts. It was won by the parents of a girl in my class - we always knew her car when we saw it out somewhere. :-)

There was also an auction that the students would participate in. One year, I won a foam cooler full of cookies baked by one of the teachers - who wasn't thinking when she decorated the cooler. She spray painted it gold, but the cookies tasted funny, so she baked me new ones. :-) Another year I won a teddy bear made from uniform skirt material. I still have that, it lives in my office now. :)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: POF on December 07, 2012, 06:13:38 AM
Last year at church I donated a XMAS cooke tree  - decorated cookies, recipes that could be bound in a book, utensils and copper cookie cutters.  It sold for over $150.00   This year we did another tree ( I did not want to repeat ) and people were looking for the cookie tree. ( Guess I'll do that one again.

My friends 8 year old was being very mean to her and called her fat etc. So at the school fair she bought a very large number of raffle tickets, put them in his name and put them in the raffle for the barbie basket.  he won and had to go get it in the office and bring it back to his class.  His Mom asked hom he like being teased about Barbies.  he got the message.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: zyrs on December 07, 2012, 06:54:24 AM
The best and worst thing I ever won was first prize in a raffle at the local fair.  It was an item supposedly worth $1,000.

At the time I was still naive, so I called a friend to share the good news.  They said; "My birthday is coming up.".  Yes, they expected me to give it to them.  And so did every single person who found out about it.  Because the friend I called told all our mutual friends.  And the mutual friends called me up wanting the item.

Not one of them ever congratulated me or said 'yay' or anything.  This rankled because they all called me up when nice things happened to them and I would say 'yay or 'congratulations' or 'that's awesome.'  And I didn't ask for any of their stuff.  But the time something good happened to me, they immediately went into 'gimme' mode.  So, I just stopped talking to them.  Since it was everyone I knew, it was a long time before I had anyone to talk to.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: siamesecat2965 on December 07, 2012, 07:00:44 AM
I've won, at various fundraisers, my first ever Vera Bradley bag, a GC for a facial at a very nice day spa, a basket full of hair and face products from another local fancy schmancy spa, and a VERY expensive, but kind of ugly, purse.  It was a Bulga, and retailed for about $500, and supposedly was a fave of certain celebrities.  I liked the bag ok, but the color was bright, and it was HUGE. I ended up selling it for about $200 to a website that rents and sells designer bags.

it was this one, and the color was much the same, but brighter.  http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.bagbliss.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Picture-2.png&imgrefurl=http://www.bagbliss.com/designer/balenciaga-purse/happy-st-patricks-day-green-designer-bags/&h=401&w=329&sz=98&tbnid=0O0_PeOfdGF5LM:&tbnh=91&tbnw=75&zoom=1&usg=___RN-6JmVUWzXcLNspx9mQnDyaHg=&docid=I34hm_zlbwOQAM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=WOjBUOaEMYfG0AGcgIHQCg&ved=0CFMQ9QEwCA&dur=372
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Miss Unleaded on December 07, 2012, 07:58:36 AM
I rarely ever win stuff, and when I do it's usually something I don't want.

Once I won a meat tray... I'm a vegetarian.  I ended up giving it to my family.

Another time I won a Valentine's Day dinner at an upscale restaurant...  I was single at the time.  I asked for the prize to be passed on to the next person drawn, and he apparently ended up proposing to his girlfriend that night (if I recall correctly it included a trip on the London Eye or something similar and he popped the question at the top).
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: athersgeo on December 07, 2012, 09:09:15 AM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

(Which it did. Ooooh it did.)

I also ought to note that I'm one of those incredibly irritating people who tend to win something in every raffle they buy tickets for, so over the years I've won everything from a very large bottle of scotch (I was seven and under instructions!) to a trip to LA to a set of rubber duckies...
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Outdoor Girl on December 07, 2012, 09:11:52 AM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

If my vote counts for anything, you win!  That is hilarious.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Hmmmmm on December 07, 2012, 09:21:00 AM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

If my vote counts for anything, you win!  That is hilarious.

That is an awesome charity auction item.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: HermioneGranger on December 07, 2012, 09:50:52 AM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

(Which it did. Ooooh it did.)

I also ought to note that I'm one of those incredibly irritating people who tend to win something in every raffle they buy tickets for, so over the years I've won everything from a very large bottle of scotch (I was seven and under instructions!) to a trip to LA to a set of rubber duckies...

Just out of curiousity, who was it? 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: SamiHami on December 07, 2012, 09:56:20 AM
My DH won us a trip to Montreal to see Aerosmith. The show was cancelled, but we still got the trip; it was all kinds of fun. They put us up in a really nice hotel, we had some great meals, did some fun touristy stuff.

My biggest win was a very large cooler that I am sure any fisherman would love to have. Since we don't fish, it's in the garage collecting dust. I really ought to make someones day and donate to Goodwill.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: athersgeo on December 07, 2012, 10:09:02 AM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

(Which it did. Ooooh it did.)

I also ought to note that I'm one of those incredibly irritating people who tend to win something in every raffle they buy tickets for, so over the years I've won everything from a very large bottle of scotch (I was seven and under instructions!) to a trip to LA to a set of rubber duckies...

Just out of curiousity, who was it?

Peter Wingfield who was, at the time at least, mostly known for playing Methos on Highlander.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: agentsmith on December 07, 2012, 10:39:06 AM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

(Which it did. Ooooh it did.)

I also ought to note that I'm one of those incredibly irritating people who tend to win something in every raffle they buy tickets for, so over the years I've won everything from a very large bottle of scotch (I was seven and under instructions!) to a trip to LA to a set of rubber duckies...

Just out of curiousity, who was it?

Peter Wingfield who was, at the time at least, mostly known for playing Methos on Highlander.

I...I...I can't even begin to describe just how incredibly jealous I am!!!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: LazyDaisy on December 07, 2012, 10:41:18 AM
I won a 2-night stay at the Sheraton Hotel & Resorts. But it was restricted to the one about 5 miles from my home. I couldn't think of a time that I would need to stay at a hotel just a bit down the road from my house, so I invited my best friend who lives in another state to visit and gave her and her husband the suite. We both won!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: HermioneGranger on December 07, 2012, 10:53:28 AM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

(Which it did. Ooooh it did.)

I also ought to note that I'm one of those incredibly irritating people who tend to win something in every raffle they buy tickets for, so over the years I've won everything from a very large bottle of scotch (I was seven and under instructions!) to a trip to LA to a set of rubber duckies...

Just out of curiousity, who was it?

Peter Wingfield who was, at the time at least, mostly known for playing Methos on Highlander.

That's awesome. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Grammy on December 07, 2012, 10:53:50 AM


I'm picturing a few slightly dotty ladies at the church where I grew up. (Not that I mean all church ladies are dotty ... oh, you know what I mean.)  This could also be a sincerely well-meaning person who simply wanted to do a good thing, had a somewhat confused and impractical idea about how to go about it and then was so worried it would "go to waste" that she kept calling to be sure that it was redeemed. (And when it wasn't, picked it up herself. Maybe even donated it to a shelter or something.)

It doesn't make it right. But it doesn't mean it's a plot, either.

Maybe I just don't want to assume the worst. Naive, perhaps. :P  But I think it's at least as likely as a planned-out scam.
[/quote]

This is what I've been thinking all along. I can see my mom in the role of Naive Turkey Lady.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: floridamom on December 07, 2012, 10:55:35 AM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

(Which it did. Ooooh it did.)

I also ought to note that I'm one of those incredibly irritating people who tend to win something in every raffle they buy tickets for, so over the years I've won everything from a very large bottle of scotch (I was seven and under instructions!) to a trip to LA to a set of rubber duckies...

Just out of curiousity, who was it?

Peter Wingfield who was, at the time at least, mostly known for playing Methos on Highlander.

I'm jealous too!  ;D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Take2 on December 07, 2012, 01:23:02 PM
The biggest thing I ever won was a year's lease on a new car...of the exact same sort I had bought just a month earlier! Luckily, the raffle was at my workplace yearly picnic, and the big boss's secretary asked him if we could just give the equivalent in car payment money to the exact same place they would have paid for the lease. He said yes, so it ended up being a wonderful prize, more than 1/4 of my car paid off!

Since I was a single 22yo at the time, owning 2 identical vehicles for a year would have been an unpleasant prize. I had even joked to a friend while they were drawing that while I could use everything else being given away, I was therefore sure to win a lease on a twin to the car I had just bought if I won anything. And then they called my number!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: CharlieBraun on December 07, 2012, 04:46:18 PM
I still think Turkey Lady was double-dipping.

Best silent auction item I ever saw:  a best-selling writer would put you as a character in their new novel.  If you were a librarian named Jane Eyre, for instance, she wrote a scene where her protagonist would have to go to the library for something and would interact with Librarian Jane Eyre.

I dropped out when it reached $3K.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: wolfie on December 07, 2012, 04:53:31 PM
Technically I didn't win this, but my sister did and we were about 7 and 5 and it ended up being a family prize. The elementary school my sister and I were going to was auctioning off a trans-am kids car. I don't know what they technically are called but it is pretty much a car with a gas and a brake pedal and I think it was electric although it could have been gas powered. It looked like a little trans-am - with the firebird symbol on the hood. It was a cool looking car and my dad gave in and bought each of us a ticket - figuring that the chances of us winning was small but it would mollify us. My sister's ticket won. It was the coolest thing ever. Once we outgrew it we took off the shell and still used it. We would drive it all around the house. Best prize ever.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: PeterM on December 07, 2012, 05:05:23 PM
Best silent auction item I ever saw:  a best-selling writer would put you as a character in their new novel.  If you were a librarian named Jane Eyre, for instance, she wrote a scene where her protagonist would have to go to the library for something and would interact with Librarian Jane Eyre.

I've heard of auctions like that. The only book I've read where the author did this had several characters named this way. Most were fairly minor, like your librarian example, but one was a recurring character who actually affected the plot. He was also an
odious toad of a man with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Apparently the guy he was named after found that delightful, though, so no harm.

I only have one real raffle experience. A colleague and I had to go up to the local high school to try and drum up business for our library. When we saw the awesome HS library we understood why no one bothers to come to us, but we had to try. We had a table in the lunch area, and to draw people in we had a prize wheel. Turns out people really, really like to spin prize wheels.

Most of our prizes were dumb little tchotchkes, bookmarks and buttons and the like. The fake mustaches were very popular, we're definitely getting more of those for when we go back. We tried to be honest with the descriptions of the various prize quadrants - "Something you actually want," "Something you may want," "Something you probably don't want" and "Something you definitely don't want." The definitely don't want kids got a paperclip. We bought colored paperclips, though, so some of the kids actually liked them. The probably don't wants were the tchotchkes, the may wants were advance reader's copies of teen books, and the actually wants were gift cards to the local movie theater. We only had two of those, one for each lunch session. We intended them to be our big draw, but both of them were won within three minutes of the start of the lunch period. Feh.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on December 07, 2012, 05:34:31 PM
Whist! Finally made it to the end of the thread! *puff, puff!*  Now, I am of the opinion that TL was awfully shady and I know I'd be going to whoever organized the charity auction and the priest to let them both know what happened.   I guess it could be a misguided woman who just wanted to make sure it wouldn't go to waste, and since our church is affiliated with a shelter there might be an interest in taking it there, but I'd hope no one would do that!

Though I've only been there since July but based on what I know of the folks that attend, I can see them saying "Hey did you forget to pick this up? Do you still want it? If you're too busy I'll pick it up for you and bring it by your place later!" That and I think at least 25% of our congregation lives in PA so they wouldn't even shop here anyway! LOL!

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Dr. F. on December 07, 2012, 05:47:10 PM
A lot of places will auction off specific epithets, so you can get a new species named after you (or whoever you choose). I believe orchids and cacti are the most expensive. I've named taxa after donors before. (They have to be attractive species - the folks that name dung beetles usually name them after exes, LOL!)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: HorseFreak on December 07, 2012, 06:14:59 PM
I've won a few raffles in my time:

- When I was around 8 I won a Super Mario Bros. Dixie Cup dispenser from a contest on the side of the cup box. I was so excited until I dropped my new silver necklace in it accidentally and my dad had to use a hammer to get it out.

- I've won an extremely popular hobby auction twice with $20 of tickets each time. The prizes (24 each time) are worth around $1000 each and many people drop $500 in the drawing. Many people win with just one ticket which is nice.

- At a conference I attended with my snotty coworker there were free drawings from many of the vendors. CW won a $150 gift card to Target and I was a tad disappointed until I got a call saying I had won a textbook that lists at over $400! It's the size of two dictionaries and THE top resource in its field. A few people tried to get me to sell it to them and I told them to buy it off Amazon since I would never be able to spend that much on one book ever.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DynoMite on December 07, 2012, 06:24:47 PM
I think the best auction prize I ever won was a snippet out of the Baltimore phone book...

...and having it read out by a particular actor whose voice we (the fans) had long suspected would make even the phone book sound good.

(Which it did. Ooooh it did.)

I also ought to note that I'm one of those incredibly irritating people who tend to win something in every raffle they buy tickets for, so over the years I've won everything from a very large bottle of scotch (I was seven and under instructions!) to a trip to LA to a set of rubber duckies...

Just out of curiousity, who was it?

Peter Wingfield who was, at the time at least, mostly known for playing Methos on Highlander.

Oh...my...gosh... I want PW to read my phone book! And my grocery list, and my laundry list, and my honey-do list...
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: jpcher on December 07, 2012, 07:28:11 PM
^ And I thought it would be Morgan Freeman. He could read my telephone book any time. ;D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on December 07, 2012, 07:35:24 PM
For me it would be Johnny Depp, Liam Neeson, and well anyone else with an Irish/Scottish accent. :)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: violinp on December 07, 2012, 08:39:28 PM
For me it would be Johnny Depp, Liam Neeson, and well anyone else with an Irish/Scottish accent. :)

Tom Hardy wouldn't be bad either... ;D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: wendelenn on December 07, 2012, 08:45:08 PM
For me it would be Johnny Depp, Liam Neeson, and well anyone else with an Irish/Scottish accent. :)

Tom Hardy wouldn't be bad either... ;D

My vote goes to Patrick Stewart or Alan Rickman.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Jones on December 07, 2012, 09:04:32 PM
James Earl Jones.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Sharnita on December 07, 2012, 09:12:44 PM
James Earl Jones.

Agreed
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Lynn2000 on December 07, 2012, 09:27:58 PM
I would like to hear James Earl Jones narrating the saga of Turkey Lady. He could turn it into a parable of some kind. We should probably wait for the real resolution first though, just to be fair...
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: AngelicGamer on December 07, 2012, 09:45:20 PM
I would like to hear James Earl Jones narrating the saga of Turkey Lady. He could turn it into a parable of some kind. We should probably wait for the real resolution first though, just to be fair...

I think that depends on what voice we're asking him to use.  If it's Vader, are we going to get a parable or more how the Empire would help solve it?  I think a parable would be more of a Mufasa voice.

Then again, if it's his CNN voice, then we're just going to get some facts.  :D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Yvaine on December 07, 2012, 10:13:28 PM
Alan Rickman.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on December 07, 2012, 10:20:50 PM
"The way she was calling over and over, you'd think she's...up to something..."

Or.

"She had them prepare the dinner so that she could swoop in and snatch the turkey at the proper moment."
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Jones on December 07, 2012, 10:25:20 PM
I would like to hear James Earl Jones narrating the saga of Turkey Lady. He could turn it into a parable of some kind. We should probably wait for the real resolution first though, just to be fair...

I think that depends on what voice we're asking him to use.  If it's Vader, are we going to get a parable or more how the Empire would help solve it?  I think a parable would be more of a Mufasa voice.

Then again, if it's his CNN voice, then we're just going to get some facts.  :D

I have the CD set of him reading the New Testament. Very Mufasa. I can totally see him reading TL's story in it...." And it came to pass that as Sister went to the delicatessen to inquire of her dinner, behold she was informed that another had come before."

Ooooh. Chills.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Lynn2000 on December 07, 2012, 10:30:11 PM
I would like to hear James Earl Jones narrating the saga of Turkey Lady. He could turn it into a parable of some kind. We should probably wait for the real resolution first though, just to be fair...

I think that depends on what voice we're asking him to use.  If it's Vader, are we going to get a parable or more how the Empire would help solve it?  I think a parable would be more of a Mufasa voice.

Then again, if it's his CNN voice, then we're just going to get some facts.  :D

I have the CD set of him reading the New Testament. Very Mufasa. I can totally see him reading TL's story in it...." And it came to pass that as Sister went to the delicatessen to inquire of her dinner, behold she was informed that another had come before."

Ooooh. Chills.

LOL!!

I have a feeling that when we finally get an update to this story, it's going to be a big letdown. Nothing could be as great as all the build-up. :)

But, I like this situation, because even though something "bad" happened, it wasn't really bad. No one's going hungry because of it, or crying their eyes out feeling worthless, or something like that.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: caz on December 08, 2012, 04:36:11 AM
For me it would be Johnny Depp, Liam Neeson, and well anyone else with an Irish/Scottish accent. :)

I can send you a CD?  :)
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: SeptGurl on December 08, 2012, 06:49:06 AM
For me it would be Johnny Depp, Liam Neeson, and well anyone else with an Irish/Scottish accent. :)

Johnny Depp. Most definitely, Johnny Depp.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on December 08, 2012, 08:49:59 AM
For me it would be Johnny Depp, Liam Neeson, and well anyone else with an Irish/Scottish accent. :)

I can send you a CD?  :)

LOL! Sure!  I could seriously sit and listen to someone with an Irish/Scottish accent talk.  They could monopolize the conversation with their legendary storytelling talents and I would not complain.   :D

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: DottyG on December 21, 2012, 11:27:57 AM
Bumping this up, because I saw that our OP was online today.  We need an update! :)

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: nayberry on December 21, 2012, 11:57:48 AM
Bumping this up, because I saw that our OP was online today.  We need an update! :)

+1   i keep checking back!!!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: jedikaiti on December 21, 2012, 12:13:18 PM
For some reason, I was wondering about this thread and if there'd been an update...
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: Otterpop on December 21, 2012, 09:15:11 PM
I've been waiting for an update too, but if it hasn't been update yet, it might never be (or the OP's sister just let the matter go - Boo  :()

GrammarNerd, was there a resolution?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner...
Post by: GrammarNerd on December 27, 2012, 09:35:43 PM
I don't talk to sis a whole lot just to gab, and like I said, I couldn't really call her up b/c she doesn't really know I posted here. ;)

But.....I did see her yesterday for a belated Christmas celebration, so I got the scoop (what there is of it).

BIL talked to the minister and explained the situation and what happened, and he said "That's just not right."  So the big guy knows about it, who was involved and what happened.  AND he agrees that it was a shady thing to do.

However, they didn't want to really go ballistic about it, and sis said that the minister lost two of his office people recently, so they're hurting for workers.  When they're short on manpower, sis didn't really want to give them more work by harping on this.  However, she did say something about possibly following up and making sure that Turkey Lady didn't get a receipt or paperwork for the supposed donation for tax purposes, since those would be sent out around this time of the year.  I encouraged her to just give a quick call to the minister/office and remind them of this incident so Turkey Lady wouldn't get hers.

I did get some more information on a few things that were cloudy.  The info that sis got from the auction was a duplicate receipt from the deli that said something like "Deli items" in the amount of $50.  Turkey Lady presumably had the original receipt.  A turkey dinner was not specified on the receipt, but was on another note with the receipt, handwritten, that said that it was good for a turkey dinner and had the handwritten expiration date.  **There was NO expiration date from the deli itself.**  So the turkey lady did indeed 'issue' the so-called expiration date, and when she issued it, she sort of directed that the thing would be used for a turkey dinner.  I confirmed with Sis that presumably, she could have chosen anything from the deli, since a turkey dinner was not directly specified on the actual receipt.  Also, that's why Sis thought that it wouldn't be a huge problem to pick it up on Friday (no expiration date from the deli, only from the handwritten note).

Sis said that turkey lady kept calling on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, asking if the dinner had been picked up, and showed up Wednesday night to redeem it herself.  Sis called on Friday, and talked to the very confused deli manager, who said that they normally do gift cards for donations; then people can get what they want, when they want.  Sis had to go through the whole explanation of this fiasco b/c the deli manager just did not understand; he said that for donations, they just use a gift card.  That's how they came to the conclusion that Turkey Lady planned it like this; to 'donate' the item, but hedge her bet that it wouldn't be redeemed by her self-imposed 'expiration' date so she could redeem it herself.  If she'd just donated a gift card, she wouldn't be able to redeem it herself.

So while it doesn't appear that Sis or BIL are out to publicly hunt down Turkey Lady, they certainly don't want her to get away with this either.  She mentioned that they were probably going to just chalk it up to a church donation.  BUT, she mentioned talking with the auction coordinator before the next auction and making it clear what Turkey Lady did, so they hopefully won't accept any more 'donations' from her.

So it's probably not the update the people had hoped for, but at least they did do *something* in talking to the minister.  The Turkey Lady's name was on the handwritten note, so they know who it was by name, but Sis doesn't know the lady personally.  She's obviously not one of the pillars of the church community.

If I find out anything else, I'll let you all know.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: bloo on December 27, 2012, 09:38:23 PM
Thanks for updating and let us know if you hear that this actually gets resolved WITH Turkey Lady! Please!
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Venus193 on December 27, 2012, 09:55:14 PM
Thanks for the update.  Please let us know if anything else happens.  I really hate the idea that she got away with this.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Otterpop on December 27, 2012, 09:55:49 PM
Thank you for the update.  I hope turkey lady gets her comeuppance, even if we never hear about it.  That was a slimy thing to do.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: JenJay on December 27, 2012, 10:12:53 PM
I take it the church didn't offer to reimburse your sis for the amount she paid after winning the auction?  :-\
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: doodlemor on December 28, 2012, 01:35:56 AM
I wonder if the minister truly understands the situation,  because the scam is a bit unusual.  Turkey Lady must have done a lot of un-religious thinking to come up with it.  One has to really think about the whole thing carefully  to understand that she did this deliberately.

I bet this is not TL's first scam, nor will it be her last.  Sooner or later she is bound to be caught doing something shifty/illegal and be publicly embarrassed.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: katycoo on December 28, 2012, 02:22:58 AM
I remain unconvinced that the whole thing was a conniving scam.  Its certainly possible that it was, but given that noone has even spoken to the turkey-lady to get her versiopn of events, I'm really not comfortable painting her in that image just yet.  Certainly actions involved were unscrupulous but there have been a number of theories thrown up which have not been disproven yet.

I do, however, remain interested if the full circumstances ever do come to light.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: cicero on December 28, 2012, 04:04:51 AM
I wonder if the minister truly understands the situation,  because the scam is a bit unusual.  Turkey Lady must have done a lot of un-religious thinking to come up with it.  One has to really think about the whole thing carefully  to understand that she did this deliberately.

I bet this is not TL's first scam, nor will it be her last.  Sooner or later she is bound to be caught doing something shifty/illegal and be publicly embarrassed.

i agree but she already *was* caught. the question is what is the church going to do about it?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: eltf177 on December 28, 2012, 05:51:09 AM
I wonder if the minister truly understands the situation,  because the scam is a bit unusual.  Turkey Lady must have done a lot of un-religious thinking to come up with it.  One has to really think about the whole thing carefully  to understand that she did this deliberately.

I bet this is not TL's first scam, nor will it be her last.  Sooner or later she is bound to be caught doing something shifty/illegal and be publicly embarrassed.

i agree but she already *was* caught. the question is what is the church going to do about it?

My question exactly! IMHO the church needs to make good on this and Turkey Lady needs a good "come to diety" talk.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Venus193 on December 28, 2012, 07:17:06 AM
I agree.  The OP's sister needs to be reimbursed and the TL needs a reproach and consequences.  The information in the update is convincing evidence that she did scam the food while taking credit for a donation. 

If I were in charge of the fundraiser I would approach the deli directly next time.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: 25wishes on December 28, 2012, 08:37:21 AM
She may have gotten away with it, but she is condemned to forever being known as "Turkey Lady" here on Ehell. >:D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Isisnin on December 28, 2012, 11:00:05 AM
Thanks much for the update GrammarNerd!

Hopefully, the church will figure out some rules to ensure this kind of thing doesn't' happen again. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Secret on December 28, 2012, 11:17:58 AM
maybe your sister could just ask the church for a receipt for her 50.00 donation. She donated and never got what she had "paid for". This may force the church to do some more investigating and make sure turkey lady does not get her donation reciept.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: doodlemor on December 28, 2012, 11:54:01 AM
maybe your sister could just ask the church for a receipt for her 50.00 donation. She donated and never got what she had "paid for". This may force the church to do some more investigating and make sure turkey lady does not get her donation reciept.

I like this.  Likely TL will be looking for a donation receipt for her taxes.

You people are right.  TL has been caught, and the church should do something about it. 



Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Sharnita on December 28, 2012, 02:06:40 PM
If the church is understaffed then it sounds like they are probably struggling to stay up to date on the basics.  I can understand not wanting to push them for further action as far as TL is concerned.  However, a receipt for the $50 donation does sound reasonable and shouldn't take too much time.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Nora on December 28, 2012, 04:06:49 PM
I simply can't wrap my mind around that womans thinking. This was a charity do for church. For CHURCH for Pete's sake! She thinks her Deity wants her to donate from the goodness of her heart or whatever reason, and Clever Turkey Lady figures pretending to donate will miraculously fool an all-seeing, all-knowing being and somehow still get her super awesome bonus karma? Because she's oh so righteous and giving?

How? What...why?! And also; DUMB!

Argh. I know that was incoherent, but this whole thing broke my brain.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Sophia on December 28, 2012, 04:07:48 PM
Turkey lady might not need or want the tax deduction receipt.  It might have been the social status gained by donating a desirable thing to the raffle. 
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: Amara on December 28, 2012, 04:20:20 PM
They may want to talk to the auction coordinator ahead of time (that is, now) if it will be the same person for future auctions rather than wait. Better to have one's barriers up ahead of time rather than wait until the storm auction is around the corner.
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: DottyG on May 01, 2013, 12:01:01 PM
A recent thread made me think of this one.

I know there's probably not another update, but I had to check anyway!  Has anything else happened with this since we last heard?

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: lowspark on May 01, 2013, 01:19:48 PM
Yeah, DottyG, me too! The Stolen Cake. As soon as I saw the title, I thought, hmmmm... wonder if it's like the turkey. And to top it off, it involved a business donating something to a charity, just like this story. Funny, huh?
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: DottyG on May 01, 2013, 03:32:55 PM
Those dang charities.  Always so much trouble, aren't they? ;)

Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: PurpleFrog on May 01, 2013, 04:13:38 PM
I was just going to search it. Thanks Dotty G for saving me the trouble  :D
Title: Re: The 'stolen' turkey dinner... UPD #331 p23
Post by: GrammarNerd on May 01, 2013, 09:17:49 PM
OP here....

Ha!  Funny to see this resurrected. 

Unfortunately, there really isn't any more to tell; it never really went any farther.  As I suspected would happen, Sis and BIL never did anything further with this.  I did ask her about once, several months later, and she said that they didn't do anything more (life has a way of getting busy and some things just have to slide), but also added that she couldn't wait to see if this woman tried to 'donate' anything again.  If she did, Sis was going to tell the head of the donation committee about her experience the previous year, so hopefully Turkey Lady could be prevented from pulling the same scam on someone else. 

If there is ever an update, I will be sure to let everyone know!

And funny...when I read about the cakes, my mind did flit back to Turkey Lady for a brief moment too!