Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Holidays => Topic started by: lellah on November 27, 2012, 11:37:16 AM

Title: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: lellah on November 27, 2012, 11:37:16 AM
My SO's parents divorced more than a decade ago and a few years after he was out of the house. His parents remarried other people.  Everybody's happy. 

I don't live at all near any of them, but, depending on work schedules, I may see the whole gang between Christmas and the New Year.   Or I may not.  Something that can be mailed easily is ideal.  I just sent his mom and her wife a nice floral arrangement that goes with their house and with their holiday decorating motiff.  Now.  What to get the dad and other step-mom?  I was planning on buying them a really nice bottle of wine.  But SO says that their favorite kind of wine is "red."  That's what the label says.  Red.  So maybe not the really nice bottle of wine.  I'm trying to keep things "even" pricewise, around $60.  Everything I can think of--monogrammed guest towels and soaps, say--isn't really a "couple" gift and so unlikely to interested his dad much.  Ideas?
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Sharnita on November 27, 2012, 11:39:19 AM
A wreath for the door?
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Sophia on November 27, 2012, 11:50:58 AM
Several different bottles of "Red" wine.
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Shopaholic on November 27, 2012, 11:52:00 AM
If they like wine, maybe some wine accessories like glasses, a carafe or a fancy bottle opener?
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: WillyNilly on November 27, 2012, 12:29:11 PM
I don't see why dad & stepmom can't also get a floral arrangment. But if you don't want to go that route, a few bottles of modestly priced red wine (Bogle is affordale an excellently rated, as is Trader Joe's 3-buck-chuck, Rosemont is a bit pricier but very good, etc) or wine accessories would be good. Or a food basket filled with goodies. Or tickets to a local show.
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Deetee on November 27, 2012, 12:57:15 PM
Case of trader joes wine.

I loved gifting people who entertained a lot (and drank a lot) with an entire case of wine. It was less than $40 and felt so bountiful. We may have the good wine early in the evening, but it's nice to just have a store of wine in case extra people showed up or the evening ran long.
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Magnet on November 27, 2012, 01:01:39 PM
If not a similar flower arrangement, edible arrangements, food gift baskets, fancy cheeses, (gosh, I'm hungry)
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Amara on November 27, 2012, 02:15:42 PM
You know, I'd probably gift them with one or two bottles of really good "red" wine, perhaps a Bordeaux or Cabernet. If they drink cheaper wine, this could be a wonderful introduction to the taste of better ones.
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Mikayla on November 27, 2012, 02:52:29 PM
If you're aiming for the same price range, $60 will get you some really nice holiday baskets.  I've seen them on amazon recently, and there's always old standby's like Swiss Colony.  I was looking through their catalog last week and they've really upped their game.

Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 28, 2012, 03:25:29 PM
I think your fine to go with a few of bottles of $15 red wine and some nice chocolates.  If they entertain, throw in a package of the cutsey printed cocktail napkins.  If your in a region that has wineries, maybe find a local one. 

Or find one with a brand that is funny or cute for them. Like I gave one of my sisters a wine called "Middle Sister", a retiring co-worker a bottle of "Happy Ending", and took a couple of bottles of "Well Read" to the hostess of our book club.  My DH and his group have give "Fat B*stard" to each other more than a few times.

But also be aware that there are a few wines listed as "Red" that can be a little more high end.  Vertex has a red that is called "Just Red" that is around $25-$30 per bottle.  I'm sure there are others.
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: lellah on November 29, 2012, 08:04:38 AM
 Thanks for the suggestions!  Maybe I wasn't clear with the wine business.  They've had good wines. They like bad ones.  Soooo... I'm going to follow this excellent advice:
Case of trader joes wine.

I loved gifting people who entertained a lot (and drank a lot) with an entire case of wine. It was less than $40 and felt so bountiful. We may have the good wine early in the evening, but it's nice to just have a store of wine in case extra people showed up or the evening ran long.



Incidentally, I'm not inclined toward flowers simply because I don't think the dad's going to find them an especially interesting gift, and I'm kind of after creating a good impression with both people. 
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: WillyNilly on November 29, 2012, 09:22:03 AM
Incidentally, I'm not inclined toward flowers simply because I don't think the dad's going to find them an especially interesting gift, and I'm kind of after creating a good impression with both people.

Here's why my dad likes flower gifts - it means he gets to be less involved in decorating.  He doesn't have to pay for decor, he doesn't have to take down and store decor till next year, he doesn't have to do anything except sit back and relax - his home is decorated for holiday holiday guests and his wife is happy.  Everyone's mileage may vary, of course.
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: ilrag on November 29, 2012, 10:04:36 AM
Thanks for the suggestions!  Maybe I wasn't clear with the wine business.  They've had good wines. They like bad ones.  Soooo... I'm going to follow this excellent advice:
Case of trader joes wine.

I loved gifting people who entertained a lot (and drank a lot) with an entire case of wine. It was less than $40 and felt so bountiful. We may have the good wine early in the evening, but it's nice to just have a store of wine in case extra people showed up or the evening ran long.



Incidentally, I'm not inclined toward flowers simply because I don't think the dad's going to find them an especially interesting gift, and I'm kind of after creating a good impression with both people.

When you're at trader joe's ask some one what a good seasonal wine is.  There's a few that I always buy cases of when they're out (Chariot Gypsy, Tribunal, ect) because they're cheap and tasty. ~5 dollars a bottle. Of course the selection varies by regional warehouse, so ...ask.  :)
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Amara on November 29, 2012, 12:28:43 PM
OP, if they like inexpensive wines TJ's had a great Portuguese white wine that is effervescent, a bit bubbly, and a bit green, Vinho Verde. It's only $4.99 a bottle, I think, and is a delightful warm weather treat. In fact, I describe its flavor to people as "summer."
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: Deetee on November 29, 2012, 12:36:57 PM
Thanks for the suggestions!  Maybe I wasn't clear with the wine business.  They've had good wines. They like bad ones.  Soooo... I'm going to follow this excellent advice:
Case of trader joes wine.

I loved gifting people who entertained a lot (and drank a lot) with an entire case of wine. It was less than $40 and felt so bountiful. We may have the good wine early in the evening, but it's nice to just have a store of wine in case extra people showed up or the evening ran long.



Incidentally, I'm not inclined toward flowers simply because I don't think the dad's going to find them an especially interesting gift, and I'm kind of after creating a good impression with both people.

Glad to help! But now I seriously miss Trader Joes. I lived the US for 5 years and that place was so perfect for me. All their pre-made food was sooo good.

Oh well, I'm pregnant so no missing the wine for another few months at least.
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: TurtleDove on November 29, 2012, 12:39:20 PM
They've had good wines. They like bad ones. 

Just wanted to point out that even many wine connoisseurs agree that inexpensive wine does not equal "bad" wine. :)
Title: Re: Divorced future in-laws and gift giving
Post by: lellah on November 30, 2012, 07:57:44 AM
They've had good wines. They like bad ones. 

Just wanted to point out that even many wine connoisseurs agree that inexpensive wine does not equal "bad" wine. :)

I'm aware! But their favorite wine tastes like Shasta or Nehi or some other fruit-flavored soda.  I'm not being condescending here.  Some people like, say, a nice peppery shiraz.  Other people like grape-flavored red wine with a slight, inexplicable fizz.  Buying them, even, my favorite ten buck bottle would, my SO says, inevitably be greeted with "but it's so sour" or whatever.  I'm not trying to be a wine snob.  But I am trying to get them something they'll actually enjoy.