Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Holidays => Topic started by: StuffedGrapeLeaves on December 10, 2012, 11:37:49 AM

Title: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card? - UPDATE #19
Post by: StuffedGrapeLeaves on December 10, 2012, 11:37:49 AM
I have some thank you cards to send out from DS's birthday party (it was two days ago), and also Christmas cards to the same people.  Would it be tacky or OK to send the thank you card and the Christmas card in the same envelope? 
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Sharnita on December 10, 2012, 11:44:19 AM
I have some thank you cards to send out from DS's birthday party (it was two days ago), and also Christmas cards to the same people.  Would it be tacky or OK to send the thank you card and the Christmas card in the same envelope?

I think it probably borders on tacky.  WHat is the point?  If you put two cards in the same envelope you might have to pay increased postage.  You would have to address fewer envelopes but then it kind of sends the message that oyu feel like they aren't worth writing out hte address twice which is where the potential for offense comes in.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: StuffedGrapeLeaves on December 10, 2012, 11:47:24 AM
Yes, you're right.  I know I'm overthinking this.  It wouldn't be increased postage, but it would probably look tacky.  Thanks!   :)
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: EmmaJ. on December 10, 2012, 11:48:28 AM
I vote two separate cards, two separate envelopes also.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Penguin_ar on December 10, 2012, 03:48:52 PM
How old is DS?  If he is old enough to write his own cards, I vote like the others- two cars in two envelopes.
If he is little, I vote just an extra note of thanks inside the Christmas card.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: emwithme on December 10, 2012, 04:09:07 PM
OK, I'm tacky then  :-[

I recently sent my wedding thank you cards.  I addressed the envelope (informal names) and then put it inside the christmas card which was then "properly" addressed.  It didn't increase my postage costs (as both were relatively thin and light), and meant that I finally had the impetus to get my thank you cards out - and actually send my christmas cards "early" for me!
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Deetee on December 10, 2012, 04:12:47 PM
Sounds fine to me.

A condalence card and a Christmas card together? -Nope. But two happy event cards together seems fine to me.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Thipu1 on December 10, 2012, 04:24:33 PM
We do this. 

When a Holiday gift arrives early, we just write a TYN in the Christmas card we send to the giver.    We've never had a complaint about this. 
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Cat-Fu on December 10, 2012, 04:44:26 PM
It sounds pretty practical to me; I don't think it's tacky at all. I'd probably put the thank-you card in its own envelope, but mostly so that I don't have a random envelope lying around. :P
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: MrsJWine on December 10, 2012, 05:12:32 PM
This wouldn't bother me at all. You're unlikely to have increased postage unless they're some seriously heavy cards. If they're people you have a more formal relationship with, I'd be more cautious, but with good friends and family, I'd do one envelope.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Shakira on December 10, 2012, 08:09:45 PM
I vote you're ok to do one envelope. No one I know would be offended by this.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: sparksals on December 10, 2012, 11:05:17 PM
Tacky with a capital T.   
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: sparksals on December 10, 2012, 11:09:55 PM
OK, I'm tacky then  :-[

I recently sent my wedding thank you cards.  I addressed the envelope (informal names) and then put it inside the christmas card which was then "properly" addressed.  It didn't increase my postage costs (as both were relatively thin and light), and meant that I finally had the impetus to get my thank you cards out - and actually send my christmas cards "early" for me!

How long ago was your wedding? 

It is  rude and tacky to include a TY note for a gift giving occasion such as a wedding when people took the time to attend and bring you a gift and then combine a TY with a holiday greeting?   A TY should be one in itself to thank someone for their attendance/gift, not a convenient way to combine Merry Christmas with Thanks for the blender.     
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: lady_disdain on December 11, 2012, 04:46:11 AM
I would slip a handwritten thank you note (not a card, but a nice note) inside the Christmas card. Two cards inside one envelope seems a little odd to me, for some reason. This isn't about the number of envelopes the recipient will get. I can't, however, imagine why this would be considered tacky at all.

Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: CakeEater on December 11, 2012, 05:08:57 AM
Not at all tacky. I think it's ridiculous when my bank sends me two letters in two different envelopes, I think receiving two letters from the same friend in two envelopes on the same day would be even sillier. I'm pretty practical about these sorts of things, though.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: MariaE on December 11, 2012, 05:34:24 AM
At US$2 per letter, I'd go with tacky every day. Postage prices are ridiculous.

That said, I actually don't think it's tacky. It's economical and makes perfect sense. I'd find it exceedingly odd if somebody sent me two letters/card in two different envelopes on the same day.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Sharnita on December 11, 2012, 07:33:07 AM
$2 postage on a letter? I guess maybe a business letter with several pages but for a Christmas or Thank You card 45 cents would get it done.

Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: MariaE on December 11, 2012, 08:33:55 AM
$2 postage on a letter? I guess maybe a business letter with several pages but for a Christmas or Thank You card 45 cents would get it done.

Not in Denmark. Cheapest postage is US$1.50 for a domestic letter. The prices only go up from there.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: bloo on December 11, 2012, 12:08:31 PM
Not at all tacky. I think it's ridiculous when my bank sends me two letters in two different envelopes, I think receiving two letters from the same friend in two envelopes on the same day would be even sillier. I'm pretty practical about these sorts of things, though.

At US$2 per letter, I'd go with tacky every day. Postage prices are ridiculous.

That said, I actually don't think it's tacky. It's economical and makes perfect sense. I'd find it exceedingly odd if somebody sent me two letters/card in two different envelopes on the same day.

I agree with the above.

While I wouldn't be offended to receive two separate envelopes, I'd think it weird and impractical. I'd spend zero time being offended at a two-in-one because I'd be so cheered that someone thought to send me anything at all!
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: StuffedGrapeLeaves on December 11, 2012, 12:51:06 PM
Thanks for all the input!  We ended up doing two envelopes mainly because unexpected things happened and we haven't gotten a chance to pick up our Christmas cards, yet (we did them online and chose the local pickup option).  We didn't want to wait to send the thank you cards, so those were mailed first. 

How old is DS?  If he is old enough to write his own cards, I vote like the others- two cars in two envelopes.
If he is little, I vote just an extra note of thanks inside the Christmas card.

DS is four, so he can't write his own thank you note, but I did have him write his name on each card. 

Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: ScubaGirl on December 11, 2012, 01:34:43 PM
Sounds fine to me.

A condalence card and a Christmas card together? -Nope. But two happy event cards together seems fine to me.

I received a condolence card regarding my mother's passing and they included a birth announcement and a picture of their little girl.  It did not sit well with me.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: lady_disdain on December 11, 2012, 01:59:25 PM
Sounds fine to me.

A condalence card and a Christmas card together? -Nope. But two happy event cards together seems fine to me.

I received a condolence card regarding my mother's passing and they included a birth announcement and a picture of their little girl.  It did not sit well with me.

Ouch! That was tactless.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Lynnv on December 11, 2012, 02:04:23 PM
I don't see any problem with it.  If I need to send someone two things and can combine the costs for shipping it, it just makes sense to me to do so.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: emwithme on December 11, 2012, 04:37:27 PM
OK, I'm tacky then  :-[

I recently sent my wedding thank you cards.  I addressed the envelope (informal names) and then put it inside the christmas card which was then "properly" addressed.  It didn't increase my postage costs (as both were relatively thin and light), and meant that I finally had the impetus to get my thank you cards out - and actually send my christmas cards "early" for me!

How long ago was your wedding? 

It is  rude and tacky to include a TY note for a gift giving occasion such as a wedding when people took the time to attend and bring you a gift and then combine a TY with a holiday greeting?   A TY should be one in itself to thank someone for their attendance/gift, not a convenient way to combine Merry Christmas with Thanks for the blender.     


We got married in mid-September.  I was quite ill after the wedding (I have ME and hit a major "crash") and pretty much stayed in bed for a month. 

The thank you cards *were* separate cards, in a separate envelope, placed inside the Christmas card envelope.  Each had a separate (different) thank you message, handwritten and personal to the person(s) involved. 

I'm just glad now I've got them out and haven't got the guilt about not having sent my thank you cards in a timely fashion, as everyone was so generous.  People have, of course, had personal thank yous when we have seen them in the interim, and I sent a couple of emails (enclosing the link to the photo site etc) to people explaining why the "proper" thank yous were late and why I hadn't been "around" much. 
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: CakeEater on December 11, 2012, 05:29:43 PM
I think thank-yous and Christmas cards are both 'happy' things, so go well in an envelope together. A sympathy card and a birth announcement is less appropriate.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Lynn2000 on December 11, 2012, 07:52:17 PM
I could go either way.  ;D I can't see myself getting offended to receive a TY card + Xmas card in the same envelope; a TY written on the Xmas card; or two completely separate envelopes from the same person.

Honestly I think I personally would probably send them as two separate envelopes. It would be for my own peace of mind and organizational issues. I would probably have a list of Xmas cards to send and a list of TY cards to send, and I would keep the two stacks separate and keep counting them and matching them with the list. My little brain could not handle putting two cards in the same envelope, I think... :)
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: kareng57 on December 11, 2012, 10:34:37 PM
It would be fine with me, as long as they were both joyous-occasions cards.  That being said, I wouldn't be impressed if a HC waited 7 or 8 months to send a TY note, figuring that they could piggyback on their Christmas cards.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: lady_disdain on December 12, 2012, 04:27:58 AM
It would be fine with me, as long as they were both joyous-occasions cards.  That being said, I wouldn't be impressed if a HC waited 7 or 8 months to send a TY note, figuring that they could piggyback on their Christmas cards.

The idea that the thank you notes were delayed to be mailed together with the Christmas cards wouldn't even cross my mind. I would wonder if something had happened to the couple (as in this case), if they had forgotten or if life had gotten in the way.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card? - UPDATE #19
Post by: TootsNYC on December 12, 2012, 11:52:37 AM
If I got them both together, I'd assume that they struggled to get the thank-you notes done, decided that by gum they were NOT sending them *after* the Christmas cards, and that they then kicked in and made sure to finish them all. And mailed them together.

Personally, I would send the thank-you separately, especially a *wedding* thank-you.

As the recipient, I might make a small negative mental note if someone wrote their thank-you on the inside of the Christmas card--and then probably forget it or only remember it as an oddity; probably would think "how smart" if they put the thank-you note (with or without its envelope) in the Xmas card.

Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card? - UPDATE #19
Post by: Itza on December 12, 2012, 01:36:24 PM
Do you mean one single envelope for both cards, or the cards in their respective envelopes which the individuals' names on then both of those in one main envelope which will have the postal address on it?

Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card?
Post by: Kiwichick on December 12, 2012, 05:47:35 PM
OK, I'm tacky then  :-[

I recently sent my wedding thank you cards.  I addressed the envelope (informal names) and then put it inside the christmas card which was then "properly" addressed.  It didn't increase my postage costs (as both were relatively thin and light), and meant that I finally had the impetus to get my thank you cards out - and actually send my christmas cards "early" for me!

How long ago was your wedding? 

It is  rude and tacky to include a TY note for a gift giving occasion such as a wedding when people took the time to attend and bring you a gift and then combine a TY with a holiday greeting?   A TY should be one in itself to thank someone for their attendance/gift, not a convenient way to combine Merry Christmas with Thanks for the blender.     

I don't know.   I'm fairly practical, it wouldn't bother me in the least, and the worst thing I'd think about the sender would be 'Oooh clever.'

I'm not going to judge them as lacking for thanking me while they are sending me good thoughts at Christmas.  In fact I find that judgement rude and tacky.
Title: Re: Using One Envelope for Thank You Card and Christmas Card? - UPDATE #19
Post by: Shoo on December 12, 2012, 06:25:38 PM
I wouldn't care if someone sent me 2 cards in one envelope, but I, personally, would never do it that way myself.