Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => All In A Day's Work => Topic started by: yokozbornak on December 20, 2012, 10:24:48 AM

Title: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: yokozbornak on December 20, 2012, 10:24:48 AM
I work as a preschool teacher.  One of my fellow teachers gave each of her students a Christmas card (my child is in her class).  When I opened it, I was floored to find an "artistic" glamour photo of her inside which had her in a solid white outfit draped in tinsel with a scowl look on her face while leaning on a set of blocks that read "JOY".  She is a pretty grumpy older lady, and the picture looks like something that you would see on Awkward Family Photos.

I have two questions:  Do I need to actually acknowledge the photo to her or is it okay if I just have my daughter say thank you?  As a fellow teacher, should I give a heads up to our director that she included the picture in the cards?  We are a privately owned school, and I have a strong sense that the director would be really embarrassed that parents are receiving this photo and more importantly, I think a few parents may call her and complain.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: onyonryngs on December 20, 2012, 10:28:53 AM
I actually think that picture sounds hilarious!  I'd crack up if I got something like that!  I'd just say thanks for the card & leave it at that.  I wouldn't mention it to the director - let her handle it if she feels it's needed.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: CaptainObvious on December 20, 2012, 10:29:36 AM
I work as a preschool teacher.  One of my fellow teachers gave each of her students a Christmas card (my child is in her class).  When I opened it, I was floored to find an "artistic" glamour photo of her inside which had her in a solid white outfit draped in tinsel with a scowl look on her face while leaning on a set of blocks that read "JOY".  She is a pretty grumpy older lady, and the picture looks like something that you would see on Awkward Family Photos.

I have two questions:  Do I need to actually acknowledge the photo to her or is it okay if I just have my daughter say thank you?  As a fellow teacher, should I give a heads up to our director that she included the picture in the cards?  We are a privately owned school, and I have a strong sense that the director would be really embarrassed that parents are receiving this photo and more importantly, I think a few parents may call her and complain.

What in the hell was she thinking?
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: yokozbornak on December 20, 2012, 10:32:01 AM
It is awesomely bad.  My DH and I have been snickering about it since receiving it yesterday. 
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: #borecore on December 20, 2012, 10:34:41 AM
I don't believe any further action on your part is required.

I would give her a Christmas card or gift if that's what you usually do for your kids' teachers, or nothing if that's what you usually do. Either way, let the picture go, even if scrubbing it from your memory might be tough.  ;D
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: RebeccainGA on December 20, 2012, 10:59:36 AM
I'd say perhaps a 'thank you' note sent with the child might be nice - especially since she's providing you with endless supplies of hilarity.

You might have to send it to Ellen Degeneres's "Bad Paid For Photos" too.... LOL
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: PastryGoddess on December 20, 2012, 11:08:12 AM
That sounds hilarious :D

I'd ignore it, I'm sure she thought it would be a great idea
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: yokozbornak on December 20, 2012, 11:12:21 AM
I'd say perhaps a 'thank you' note sent with the child might be nice - especially since she's providing you with endless supplies of hilarity.

You might have to send it to Ellen Degeneres's "Bad Paid For Photos" too.... LOL

"Thanks for the gift that keeps on giving!"
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: WillyNilly on December 20, 2012, 12:13:11 PM
I must admit it sounds great... but then I'm an adult not a kindergarden kid. I think to a kid it sounds weird.

I don't think you should tattle on her to administration, but you can mention it in conversation if its somethin you think thy don't know abou but should, afterall itsbeng given to sudents by a school employee on school grounds during school hours and therefore is a representation of the school.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: yokozbornak on December 20, 2012, 01:08:27 PM
I must admit it sounds great... but then I'm an adult not a kindergarden kid. I think to a kid it sounds weird.

I don't think you should tattle on her to administration, but you can mention it in conversation if its somethin you think thy don't know abou but should, afterall itsbeng given to sudents by a school employee on school grounds during school hours and therefore is a representation of the school.

If I did say something to the director, it would be more of a heads-up that she may be getting a few phone calls.  I don't think the teacher would get in trouble at all.  She has been at that school for many years and is sort of an institution. 

It's a strange situation because I am both a teacher there and a parent there so the lines tend to get blurred a bit.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: rose red on December 20, 2012, 02:17:27 PM
I'd say perhaps a 'thank you' note sent with the child might be nice - especially since she's providing you with endless supplies of hilarity.

You might have to send it to Ellen Degeneres's "Bad Paid For Photos" too.... LOL

...or Ellen's "Hot Glam, Girl!" segment.

I wouldn't say anything.  Even though she looks grumpy, it's not inappropriate.  If you do say something, make it more like casual conversation about what cards and gifts DD got for the holidays.  Let the director draw her own conclusions.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: oopsie on December 20, 2012, 02:56:36 PM
I work as a preschool teacher.  One of my fellow teachers gave each of her students a Christmas card (my child is in her class).  When I opened it, I was floored to find an "artistic" glamour photo of her inside which had her in a solid white outfit draped in tinsel with a scowl look on her face while leaning on a set of blocks that read "JOY".  She is a pretty grumpy older lady, and the picture looks like something that you would see on Awkward Family Photos.

I have two questions:  Do I need to actually acknowledge the photo to her or is it okay if I just have my daughter say thank you?  As a fellow teacher, should I give a heads up to our director that she included the picture in the cards?  We are a privately owned school, and I have a strong sense that the director would be really embarrassed that parents are receiving this photo and more importantly, I think a few parents may call her and complain.

That card rocks! I love someone with a sense of humour who can poke fun at themselves. Depending on the age of her students, I'm not exactly sure that they would be in on the joke or "get it" but I'd just let it go personally.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: CakeBeret on December 20, 2012, 03:15:50 PM
I work as a preschool teacher.  One of my fellow teachers gave each of her students a Christmas card (my child is in her class).  When I opened it, I was floored to find an "artistic" glamour photo of her inside which had her in a solid white outfit draped in tinsel with a scowl look on her face while leaning on a set of blocks that read "JOY".  She is a pretty grumpy older lady, and the picture looks like something that you would see on Awkward Family Photos.

I have two questions:  Do I need to actually acknowledge the photo to her or is it okay if I just have my daughter say thank you?  As a fellow teacher, should I give a heads up to our director that she included the picture in the cards?  We are a privately owned school, and I have a strong sense that the director would be really embarrassed that parents are receiving this photo and more importantly, I think a few parents may call her and complain.

That card rocks! I love someone with a sense of humour who can poke fun at themselves. Depending on the age of her students, I'm not exactly sure that they would be in on the joke or "get it" but I'd just let it go personally.

I agree that the card sounds hilarious, but I think it's inappropriate to hand out to a preschool class! If you want to send ironic glamour shots, save that for your friends; it's not work appropriate, IMO.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: yokozbornak on December 20, 2012, 03:24:54 PM
Sadly, I don't think she was attempting to be ironic or humorous.  I am pretty sure it was a serious photo.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: oopsie on December 20, 2012, 03:42:30 PM
I work as a preschool teacher.  One of my fellow teachers gave each of her students a Christmas card (my child is in her class).  When I opened it, I was floored to find an "artistic" glamour photo of her inside which had her in a solid white outfit draped in tinsel with a scowl look on her face while leaning on a set of blocks that read "JOY".  She is a pretty grumpy older lady, and the picture looks like something that you would see on Awkward Family Photos.

I have two questions:  Do I need to actually acknowledge the photo to her or is it okay if I just have my daughter say thank you?  As a fellow teacher, should I give a heads up to our director that she included the picture in the cards?  We are a privately owned school, and I have a strong sense that the director would be really embarrassed that parents are receiving this photo and more importantly, I think a few parents may call her and complain.

That card rocks! I love someone with a sense of humour who can poke fun at themselves. Depending on the age of her students, I'm not exactly sure that they would be in on the joke or "get it" but I'd just let it go personally.

I agree that the card sounds hilarious, but I think it's inappropriate to hand out to a preschool class! If you want to send ironic glamour shots, save that for your friends; it's not work appropriate, IMO.

Yeah, preschoolers definitely wouldn't likely get it even if it were a joke. If they were high school students, now that would be great!Regardless of the fact that it was meant to be a serious picture, I still don't think it's worth warning anyone about. Probably not the best judgement call on her part but harmless all the same.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: Danika on December 21, 2012, 12:55:41 AM
No advice here, but I wanted to say that I'm just dying for you to scan in and post that photo here. I know you can't and shouldn't. But I still wanted to mention it.  >:D
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: nyarlathotep on December 21, 2012, 06:40:42 AM
I guess this all hinges on what the OP means by '"Artistic" glamour photo'. Is she posing inappropriately or something?
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: PastryGoddess on December 21, 2012, 08:39:25 AM
I think it's more the kind you get at sears, with soft lighting and airbrushing
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: Fleur on December 21, 2012, 08:43:30 AM
I guess this all hinges on what the OP means by '"Artistic" glamour photo'. Is she posing inappropriately or something?

Exactly. To me, a 'glamour' shot means one in a bikini or a bathing suit. Very inappropriate indeed!
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: RegionMom on December 21, 2012, 08:50:36 AM
Oh, the glamour shots I have seen have feather boas and huge drop earrings, and tons of make-up, but not usually nekkid or skin, because most have been of married/older/motherly women.  (And on display, so the sexy ones may be hidden in a back bedroom, and I do NOT want to go searching for them!  Full disclosure--I had glamour shots done just when I was engaged, and while cheesy, and my teens roll their eyes, it is not too embarrassing.)

The OP said she was in a solid white outfit, so I am picturing a bad pants suit. >:D
I think it is funny, and I would not report it.  That would be pulled out every year though, for a laugh to start the decorating!
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: bopper on December 21, 2012, 09:11:23 AM
Can you post the picture but blur out her face? Then we would be able to give you advice. Until then, no, just can't help. :-)
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: yokozbornak on December 21, 2012, 09:11:50 AM
Oh, the glamour shots I have seen have feather boas and huge drop earrings, and tons of make-up, but not usually nekkid or skin, because most have been of married/older/motherly women.  (And on display, so the sexy ones may be hidden in a back bedroom, and I do NOT want to go searching for them!  Full disclosure--I had glamour shots done just when I was engaged, and while cheesy, and my teens roll their eyes, it is not too embarrassing.)

The OP said she was in a solid white outfit, so I am picturing a bad pants suit. >:D
I think it is funny, and I would not report it.  That would be pulled out every year though, for a laugh to start the decorating!

Yes, it looks like some type of photo from Glamour Shots if anyone remembers that place.  Soft lighting, weird posing, serious expression, and for Christmas - TINSEL!  I don't think it's an actual Glamour Shots photo because I don't think they exist anymore, but that's what it reminded me of.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: Danika on December 21, 2012, 10:20:19 AM
I couldn't help myself. I had to search. Glamour Shots still do exist. Looks like they're trying to be more mainstream and do mostly family portraits now.

http://www.glamourshots.com/
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: SamiHami on December 21, 2012, 01:06:20 PM
I had glamour shots done years ago...and I would certainly not consider sending them out to a bunch of people, especially little kids! There was nothing racy about them, but still with all the make up and big hair and stuff...it's more like something you share with your SO.

Anyway, it sounds like good intentions gone bad here. I would let it go and not report it, but there's no reason you can't enjoy a good giggle out of it  ;D.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: Fleur on December 21, 2012, 02:19:36 PM

Ah, sorry for the confusion. In the UK, a 'glamour model' is one who does underwear/topless shots. I think that the nomenclature might be different in the US.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: doodlemor on December 21, 2012, 02:49:49 PM
I think it is funny, and I would not report it.  That would be pulled out every year though, for a laugh to start the decorating!

Me too.  I chuckle every time I think of this. 
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: amylouky on December 21, 2012, 02:52:58 PM
Another vote for funny and not offensive.. it sounds like she was trying to give everyone a laugh at her own expense (hence the silly tinsel and scowl/joy blocks).
I actually think my boys (3 and 5) would have loved to get a picture of their teacher. They may not have gotten the humor in itbut I definitely wouldn't be offended or find it inappropriate that she gave them such a picture.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: Hmmmmm on December 21, 2012, 03:34:52 PM
Since it is a greeting card, I don't think a Thank You note is necessary from anyone.  And since it was given to your child, I don't think you should engage the principal. 

When you stated "artistic" I was imagining half naked.  But if fully clothed and you just don't like the composition of the photo, I'm not sure what you'd be reporting anyway.

Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: yokozbornak on December 21, 2012, 03:45:01 PM
Since it is a greeting card, I don't think a Thank You note is necessary from anyone.  And since it was given to your child, I don't think you should engage the principal. 

When you stated "artistic" I was imagining half naked.  But if fully clothed and you just don't like the composition of the photo, I'm not sure what you'd be reporting anyway.

Like I said, I wouldn't mention it to get the teacher in trouble but to give the director a heads up.  I know the parents at this school very well, and there is no doubt in my mind that a few of them have already given the director an earful.  Seriously, one of them reported a teacher because she had a window open.  Most parents are great, but there is a small contingent that are seriously uptight and would be very offended by something like this.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: kitkatswing on December 23, 2012, 06:51:27 PM
Can you post the picture but blur out her face? Then we would be able to give you advice. Until then, no, just can't help. :-)

This.. Please.... You cant have a thread like this without showing the photo :)
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: penelope2017 on December 26, 2012, 08:37:44 PM
Since it is a greeting card, I don't think a Thank You note is necessary from anyone.  And since it was given to your child, I don't think you should engage the principal. 

When you stated "artistic" I was imagining half naked.  But if fully clothed and you just don't like the composition of the photo, I'm not sure what you'd be reporting anyway.

Like I said, I wouldn't mention it to get the teacher in trouble but to give the director a heads up.  I know the parents at this school very well, and there is no doubt in my mind that a few of them have already given the director an earful.  Seriously, one of them reported a teacher because she had a window open.  Most parents are great, but there is a small contingent that are seriously uptight and would be very offended by something like this.

What do you think is specifically offensive about it? Embarrassing for her, I can see. But is she wearing something revealing? Posing suggestively?
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: LadyL on December 26, 2012, 08:55:35 PM
I think it's overly familiar/personal for a teacher to give students a picture of themselves (tasteful or not). Are they supposed to frame it and display it at home? Seems quite "off" to me assuming the teacher isn't also a family friend or something.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: baglady on December 27, 2012, 12:03:59 AM
I'm going to make some assumptions here:

The photo was either part of a printed photo card, or glued to the inside of a regular card, rather than being just sitting loosely inside like a $5 bill inside a kid's birthday card. Incorporating rather than inserting it into the card is less, "Hey! Here's a picture of me! Just for you!" and more "Hey, here's a card with my picture in it!"

The photo was not suggestive. No cleavage, no gratuitous skin, no come-hither expression.

If both of these are true, then I'm guessing she was poking fun at herself -- here's Ms. Grouchy trying (with the decor and the "Joy" motif) but failing to get into the Christmas spirit -- and that the joke is aimed at the parents, not the kids. A poorly executed joke that the parents may not get, unless they know her Ms. Grouchy reputation first- or secondhand, but not report-worthy unless the photo's content is inappropriate.
Title: Re: The Coworker Christmas Photo
Post by: yokozbornak on December 27, 2012, 12:50:42 AM
I'm going to make some assumptions here:

The photo was either part of a printed photo card, or glued to the inside of a regular card, rather than being just sitting loosely inside like a $5 bill inside a kid's birthday card. Incorporating rather than inserting it into the card is less, "Hey! Here's a picture of me! Just for you!" and more "Hey, here's a card with my picture in it!"

The photo was not suggestive. No cleavage, no gratuitous skin, no come-hither expression.

If both of these are true, then I'm guessing she was poking fun at herself -- here's Ms. Grouchy trying (with the decor and the "Joy" motif) but failing to get into the Christmas spirit -- and that the joke is aimed at the parents, not the kids. A poorly executed joke that the parents may not get, unless they know her Ms. Grouchy reputation first- or secondhand, but not report-worthy unless the photo's content is inappropriate.

Actually most of your assumptions are off. It was actually a loose photo inside the card, not a photo card.  Also, while the phoot was not suggestive in the traditional sense, the way she was posing and the fact that she was wrapped in tinsel could be seen as suggestive.  As I said, I didn't find it remotely offensive (just really funny!), but I can imagine that some parents would.  I also stated earlier that I am pretty certain that it was not done as a joke.  You will just have to trust me on that one.  Finally, the card was in DD's bookbag.  I am honestly not sure how the envelope was addressed to her or to us.