Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Time For a Coffee Break! => Topic started by: Tierrainney on January 06, 2013, 11:25:18 PM

Title: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Tierrainney on January 06, 2013, 11:25:18 PM
My oldest is just entering adolescence. At that age, I had slightly oily hair that was super fine and just needed a little conditioning. Her hair is very thick and much coarser than mine and very oily. I noticed today she has a lot of dandruff! She doesn't care about appearances yet, being only concerned with comfortable clothing and easy styling. But I know very soon other children will notice if they haven't already. I want to prevent teasing when possible.

I need suggestions for her shampoo/conditioner stuff, please. Also frequency of washing hair and styling products.

(we've already started having the changing body talks and she is really embarrassed by it all)
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: snowdragon on January 06, 2013, 11:33:26 PM
Your DD sounds like me in those days. Head and Shoulders is good for dandruff. Other things I used when I was younger was a vinegar rinse ( two table spoons of Vinegar in a 16 oz tumbler poured over my head, and sometimes an egg rinse. My sister who has oily, very thick hair at 37 uses horse shampoo and she always looks great - sounds odd, but it works.

 
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: m2kbug on January 07, 2013, 12:57:06 AM
I have just been buying a shampoo/conditioner combo since neither are much worried about hair care and styling and extra steps in the hair care process.  I am very happy with Pantene products.  One thing that has come across my radar lately is using just conditioner to wash the hair.  There can be no silicone or anything that ends with "-one" in this conditioner bottle (read the label).  It's supposed to be healthier and my sister who deals with psoriasis, scalp issues, and dandruff swears by it.  It takes extra work to scrub out the dirt and oils using only conditioner, so maybe not the best choice for a pre-teen but something to think about.  I tried it but can't tolerate it, but toss out this as a recommendation for dandruff or scalp issues just the same.  My curly hair curled better and less frizzy, so I do accept the benefits if your teen puts forth the extra work.

I remember battling hair washing and hygiene as a pre-teen (why?) and I've had to battle with my own pre-teen.  The only solution I have is to make sure the hair gets washed at least every other day with a conditioning shampoo, and step up to a dandruff shampoo if necessary.  You can't force hair styling and blow-drying, she'll have to figure that out on her own.  Mine cannot stand styling products but has recently been making use of my hairspray. 
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: MariaE on January 07, 2013, 01:28:37 AM
I have either dandruff or really dry skin. I do not have dry hair though, so using shampoo especially for that just made my hair annoyingly greasy. I've spent money on expensive shampoos, but discovered that the only shampoo that works consistently is Head and Shoulders.

I wash my hair once or twice a week. Any more than that seems to aggravate the issue.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Sebastienne on January 07, 2013, 01:40:15 AM
In the winter, my skin dries out, and I get pretty dandruffy. The most awesome thing I've found to help is actually thus: http://www.lushusa.com/Soak-and-Float/00101,en_US,pd.html?start=10&cgid=solid-shampoos

It's a shampoo bar (so you rub it on wet hair a few times and build a lather), and it smells a little tar-ish, but paired with a nice conditioner, the smell doesn't linger. It seems expensive, but it lasts an insanely long time. And it does an amazing job. Lush has some great stuff.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: cicero on January 07, 2013, 02:29:20 AM
How about doing a styling with her at a nice salon? a girl's day out? while the salons tend to push their products, they also may be able to guide her (gently) to a better styling, to how many times she should wash her hair etc - it sometimes helps at that age, when *someone else* tells you rather than *mom*

Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: mechtilde on January 07, 2013, 02:56:57 AM
I'd check out what your local pharmacist recommends- a proper medicated shampoo may be more effective than the standard things you get on the shelf. I use Nizoral myself and find it not only very effective but also the nicest shampoo I've used.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Snooks on January 07, 2013, 04:07:37 AM
My friend used to use vinegar but I wouldn't suggest that unless she's coming to you and telling you it's a problem.  A few years ago Head and Shoulders came out top in a blind test by a glossy women's magazine so I say get her some of that and see how it goes from there.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: DaisyG on January 07, 2013, 04:56:18 AM
I also have a dry scalp and used to have quite oily hair. Head and Shoulders helps a bit and might be an easy fix for your pre-teen. Normally I wash my hair twice a week - if I leave it longer it looks greasy and every day is too drying. I use a deep conditioner (meant for occasional treatment) rather than a normal conditioner and that extra moisture helps. The other thing that has really helped me is coconut oil - once a week I rub it into my scalp and hair, leave it in overnight and wash it out in the morning. I think that having this extra oil has helped my scalp regulate its own oil better and makes the hair softer and stronger.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: HoneyBee42 on January 07, 2013, 07:05:36 AM
One other caveat I'd just like to throw out--I have this issue w/ youngest son (age 11) who doesn't get all the shampoo rinsed out.  The dried shampoo looks *just* like dandruff (and copious amounts of it).
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: faithlessone on January 07, 2013, 07:18:49 AM
One other caveat I'd just like to throw out--I have this issue w/ youngest son (age 11) who doesn't get all the shampoo rinsed out.  The dried shampoo looks *just* like dandruff (and copious amounts of it).

Seconding this! When I was younger, I used to have this problem. I have very thick hair, and it was difficult for me to get the hang of rinsing all the shampoo out.

Your daughter's hair sounds like mine used to be - thick and a bit frizzy and greasy. My best suggestion would be to look for shampoos that say "balancing" or "clarifying" on them. The Head and Shoulders would be good if she does have dandruff, but if it's just residue, she needs to learn how to wash her own hair effectively.

My best advice is to see if you can get some travel / mini-sized bottles of various things and see what works. Products work differently on each person, so there's no real way of telling how effective one thing or another is going to be. At least with mini-sized bottles, you aren't going to waste a lot of product if one doesn't work.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: GGL on January 07, 2013, 07:28:55 AM
I have super super thick and super curly hair. I never had issues with it until I moved to North Carolina. All of a sudden I have super flaky skin on my face and scalp. I tried everything. Head and Shoulders to practically prescription strength medicated shampoo. None worked. Then I found someone suggesting using Apple Cider Vinegar. Non diluted. You just put a tablespoon or more into your hair, depending on how long and thick, and let it sit for about twenty minutes. Then wash it out and condition as usual. I do that every third day and all my flaky scalp stuff is gone. Wish I knew how to make it work on my face. Especially around my nose and lips.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Hmmmmm on January 07, 2013, 07:36:25 AM
I've been dealing with winter dandruff since a teen,  honestly, I have tried tons of products and I have to say Head and Shoulders has always worked best for me.  I shampoo daily. When I first notice winter time "itch" I use it daily for 3 days then switch to twice a week continuing to use my standard conditioner. I used to hate the smell, which was the reason I was always trying other products, even salon products and Dr. prescribed.  But know they have ones that smell much better.  The bottle in my shower right now is green apple.

My teen son also has dandruff.  The stylist recommended the tea tree products and they didn't work.  Started him on H&S and it was gone in a week.  He doesn't like using a shampoo and conditioner so he uses H&S shampoo/conditioner combo.  He uses it ever other day.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: pharmagal on January 07, 2013, 08:19:45 AM
The new Clear range is pretty good too.  It's a Unilever brand, I know it's in Walmart and the like as I've seen the overseas advertising for it.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: RebeccainGA on January 07, 2013, 08:46:17 AM
Garnier Frictis also has a dandruff line - I use it, and like it. Some of it has a sort of scrubby texture (some grit in it) which helps exfoliate the scalp - it also makes it easier to tell if you haven't rinsed enough, so if there's any issue like that going on as well. It smells neutral (not too girly or masculine - either a vaguely fruit scent, or a mint one, depending on which you get) so it's good for others in the family to use occasionally too, especially in winter.

I have a ton of scalp/skin issues, as well as long, curly, slightly oily hair. I was my hair once a week, and use a dry shampoo in the middle of the week if I get really oily (but usually a long session of brushing my hair out does the trick).
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: bopper on January 07, 2013, 09:00:58 AM
I would suggest Head and Shoulders too.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Tierrainney on January 07, 2013, 09:03:53 AM
Thank you all for the many suggestions. I hadn't even thought that she wasn't rinsing well enough, that one is a distinct possibility.

We are struggling with this pre- puberty stuff, she is very, very moody at times and I don't get to supervise hygiene the way I used to be able.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Slartibartfast on January 07, 2013, 09:10:31 AM
I think going to a separate shampoo and conditioner would go a long way, honestly.  The shampoo strips out the hair's oils and the conditioner puts some artificial (and better-smelling) oils back in - but if she's got oily hair already, the manufacturer's pre-made ratio is probably putting too much oil back in her hair.  I've always had pretty long, thick hair too, and it takes quite a bit of shampoo (palm-sized glop) to have enough to get all the way down to the scalp and still get the oil out of the rest of my hair.  It takes a lot less conditioner.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: m2kbug on January 07, 2013, 09:29:46 AM
I'm glad someone mentioned rinsing better.  I have run into this.  Their hair doesn't look washed, which means they either got their hair wet and didn't wash it or they didn't rinse it out properly.  I don't understand why this is such a complicated process.  I went with the combo shampoo/conditioner because they weren't taking the extra step to condition separately.  If you strip away the oils with shampoo and don't replace them, the body's response is to over-produce oils to compensate for what's missing.  That can be an ugly situation with hair that is oily to start with.  I feel your pain on moody teen.   ;)
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Daquiri40 on January 07, 2013, 09:30:37 AM
When my dandruff was bad, I used Neutrogena T-Gel - recommended by my hairdresser.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Yvaine on January 07, 2013, 09:33:33 AM
I think going to a separate shampoo and conditioner would go a long way, honestly.  The shampoo strips out the hair's oils and the conditioner puts some artificial (and better-smelling) oils back in - but if she's got oily hair already, the manufacturer's pre-made ratio is probably putting too much oil back in her hair. 

Yeah, or in some cases not putting enough back in. My hair has been dry all my teen and adult life--not overprocessed, that's just the way it is--and I've never met a pre-blended shampoo and conditioner that worked. I don't think the premade ratio works for a lot of people.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: sparksals on January 07, 2013, 09:40:15 AM
If her hair gets greasy fast, then she needs to wash it more often.  I also agree that she could be simply not rinsing well enough.   Conditioning is important, but as someone stated above, the wrong kind can make the hair more greasy.  The key is to put it only on the ends and not on the scalp.  She also  needs to scrub her scalp when washing, not just wash her hair.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: kevdarron on January 07, 2013, 09:44:53 AM
This sounds a lot like me as a teen. I had very thick, coarse, dark hair that always looked greasy, along with a helping of dandruff. What I've found personally is that I needed to wash my hair less often. It sounds counter-intuitive but I wash my hair only every second day now and as a result, it becomes oily much slower.

Other things that have helped me: Neutrogena T-Gel as a previous poster suggested. I use this a couple times a week.

In order to get the shampoo entirely through my hair, sometimes I shampoo, rinse, shampoo rinse, before I condition.

I found areas of my hair were oilier than others, specifically the back of my head. I wasn't getting the shampoo all the way into that area. I spent more time applying shampoo there, and had to learn to really reach my scalp in all places.

Finally, I asked my hairdresser for advice. He was really helpful in helping me learn how to tell a) when my hair was thoroughly covered in shampoo and b) when it was completely rinsed.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: CakeBeret on January 07, 2013, 09:48:14 AM
I am very prone to dandruff. I hate Head & Shoulders and I find that consistency in my hair care is key to controlling the dandruff. What works for me is using the Garnier Pure Clean line, using separate shampoo and conditioner. I cannot use the combo shampoo/conditioner under any circumstances. My hair is happiest being washed every 2-3 days. I rub the shampoo into my scalp, but conditioner goes only on the ends of my hair. (My hair is shoulder-length, ridiculously thick, and wavy to curly.)
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 07, 2013, 09:50:58 AM
What I've found personally is that I needed to wash my hair less often. It sounds counter-intuitive but I wash my hair only every second day now and as a result, it becomes oily much slower.

I agree.  I have very oily hair.  But it is fine and curly rather than thick.  I've gone to washing 3 times a week and have much nicer hair.  It actually keeps a little bit of oil in the hair to keep it from being fly-away, while keeping my scalp from getting too oily.  I still shower everyday but one and I still condition my hair on those days I don't wash it.

I can't use a 2-in-1 because I need more conditioning than that.  I use about 5 times as much conditioner as I do shampoo.

I would consider a detachable shower head, if you can.  That way, she can bend over, flip her hair forward and rinse from the underside, too, to help get all the soap out.

I'm in process of switching to a laurel sulphate free shampoo and silicone free conditioner.  As soon as I use up what I've got that isn't, I'll be switching permanently.  I find it is much better for my hair.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Judah on January 07, 2013, 10:47:26 AM
What I've found personally is that I needed to wash my hair less often.

I've slowly decreased the frequency with which I shampoo my hair to once per week. I've always had super oily hair and if I didn't wash every day it was gross.  But the thing is, by shampooing every day I was just drying my scalp out making it think it needed to create more oil.  By shampooing less often, my scalp makes less oil. It was a slow process over several months, but now my hair is much less oily, even after a week.

I do, however, wash every day, just not with shampoo. I use a very light conditioner to wash with.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: carol1412 on January 09, 2013, 04:00:12 PM
Second (third?) on the Garnier Fructis line. It's not as harsh as Head & Shoulders, smells pretty good and has controlled my winter dandruff very well.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: artk2002 on January 09, 2013, 04:08:12 PM
Your DD sounds like me in those days. Head and Shoulders is good for dandruff. Other things I used when I was younger was a vinegar rinse ( two table spoons of Vinegar in a 16 oz tumbler poured over my head, and sometimes an egg rinse. My sister who has oily, very thick hair at 37 uses horse shampoo and she always looks great - sounds odd, but it works.

My boys (both with thick hair) have used Mane and Tail (both the shampoo and conditioner) for quite some time. It's available in many of our local drug stores.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: rain on January 11, 2013, 08:38:51 PM
Years ago a shampoo called T-gel was the only thing that worked for one of my sibs
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 11, 2013, 08:41:43 PM
I can't use Head and Shoulders, at least not more than once a week.  It dries my hair right out and yet the scalp gets oily, I think producing more oil to compensate for the drying out.

The Mane and Tail sounds interesting.  Anyone know if it is available in Canada and if it is laurel sulphate free?
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: TootsNYC on January 11, 2013, 09:02:52 PM
for my DD's oily hair during the worst of her teen years, she used a "clarifying" shampoo and shampooed twice each day.

in my really-oily phase, I remember shampooing twice as well.

but she hasn't had problems w/ dandruff.

Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: lilfox on January 11, 2013, 11:25:40 PM
I've been casually looking for sulfate free shampoos so I checked out Mane n Tail, it does have sodium laurel sulfate.  Anyone have suggestions for sulfate free labels?  Lush?

My mom swears by it too, but Head n Shoulders is not working for my winter dry scalp.  I'm currently trying Selsun Blue but it's too soon to tell.  When I was a teen, I ended up with a prescription dandruff shampoo for a while, but my dermatologist told me last year that OTC shampoos were basically as good these days.  I think the T-Gel will be next on the list to try...

I'm probably the rare hair type who can use a 2 in 1 shampoo, but I prefer not to - I can get away with far less conditioner to get the tangles out, though more doesn't leave my hair greasy.

Other standard advice for dry scalp is to use warm, not hot, water - hotter is more drying.  I don't subscribe to that theory myself, too addicted to steaming hot showers, but it might work for some.  :-)
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: sparksals on January 11, 2013, 11:26:42 PM
I can't use Head and Shoulders, at least not more than once a week.  It dries my hair right out and yet the scalp gets oily, I think producing more oil to compensate for the drying out.

The Mane and Tail sounds interesting.  Anyone know if it is available in Canada and if it is laurel sulphate free?

I have never heard of it.  Maybe Shoppers or London Drugs?
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: sparksals on January 11, 2013, 11:28:33 PM
I don't have a dandruff problem, but I find my scalp gets itchy and dry in the winter months.  Once Spring hits, things change.  I know it is not seasonal for some, but it is for me.  The most I get is an itchy scalp this time of year and my hairdresser says it is common now.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Slartibartfast on January 12, 2013, 12:59:27 AM
An interesting shampoo alternative (http://lifeblessons.blogspot.com/2010/06/recipe-for-making-your-own-shampoo.html) - I like my normal shampoo just fine, but this blogger has oily hair and swears by her own recipe.  Worth trying, if you don't want laurel sulphates!
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: joraemi on January 12, 2013, 08:34:14 AM
I've been casually looking for sulfate free shampoos so I checked out Mane n Tail, it does have sodium laurel sulfate. Anyone have suggestions for sulfate free labels?  Lush?

My mom swears by it too, but Head n Shoulders is not working for my winter dry scalp.  I'm currently trying Selsun Blue but it's too soon to tell.  When I was a teen, I ended up with a prescription dandruff shampoo for a while, but my dermatologist told me last year that OTC shampoos were basically as good these days.  I think the T-Gel will be next on the list to try...

I'm probably the rare hair type who can use a 2 in 1 shampoo, but I prefer not to - I can get away with far less conditioner to get the tangles out, though more doesn't leave my hair greasy.

Other standard advice for dry scalp is to use warm, not hot, water - hotter is more drying.  I don't subscribe to that theory myself, too addicted to steaming hot showers, but it might work for some.  :-)

I *love* Loreals sulfate free products - I originally switched to them because I had started highlighting my hair and wanted something to help preserve the color better.  I no longer color my hair, but still use their sulfate free line.  Love it. I can buy it just baout everywhere too, so that's nice.

My 14yo son has had problems with that scaly stuff you get on yoru scalp - can't think of the name - and he used the T-gel shampoo that the others have mentioned with good results.  Also the head and shoulders.  Now he's compaining about his hair being oily and I'm wondering, after reading some of your posts, if he isn't overwashing it.  I'll mention it to him.  Great thread!
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: MamaMootz on January 12, 2013, 09:32:42 AM
I'm going to pipe in with a second vote for the Garnier Fructis line. DD has very curly, thick, dry hair and she was also getting scalp flakes. My husband started working for L'oreal who is their parent company, and we got free samples of their Sleek and Shine Line. What a difference it has made in her hair! No more flakes, no more flyaways and she's able to actually tame the curls.

I'm completely converted to the Garnier line for DD's hair needs - they also have some curl tamers and shapers that work wonders with her hair.

I would not ever use a combination shampoo and conditioner on any hair though - putting them together is counter-productive as one strips the hair and one puts moisture back. Combined, they really can't be very effective on any hair type.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 12, 2013, 09:35:02 AM
Loreal is the only one I've found that is available in drugstores.  It isn't cheap - it runs about $10 for 250 mL here - but it's a lot cheaper than buying a laurel sulphate free product at the hair dressers.  They were going to charge me $30 for the same amount.

I watch for it to be on sale and try to combine it with a bonus rewards offer to make buying it hurt not quite so much.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: kckgirl on January 12, 2013, 10:25:55 AM
You may want to try this:

http://www.livingonadime.com/homemade-shampoo-recipe/

I have used it and am pretty impressed. It's cheap, rinses out well, and I read a blog that I now cannot find where the owner said her hair was a total greasy mess until she started using this method.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: artk2002 on January 12, 2013, 10:41:10 AM
I can't use Head and Shoulders, at least not more than once a week.  It dries my hair right out and yet the scalp gets oily, I think producing more oil to compensate for the drying out.

The Mane and Tail sounds interesting.  Anyone know if it is available in Canada and if it is laurel sulphate free?

I have never heard of it.  Maybe Shoppers or London Drugs?

The store locator on their web site lists Canadian provinces, so the answer to the first part should be "yes".  http://manentail.com/ (http://manentail.com/). The answer to the second one is, unfortunately, "no". I checked the ingredient list on the web site.
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: chibichan on January 12, 2013, 07:57:16 PM
The new Clear range is pretty good too.  It's a Unilever brand, I know it's in Walmart and the like as I've seen the overseas advertising for it.

POD to the Clear products . They are specifically formulated for scalp health .

I have even suggested the Men's line for women who have stubborn problems .
Title: Re: Shampoo suggestions for a pre-teen, we need help
Post by: Tierrainney on January 12, 2013, 08:31:23 PM
I finally had time to take her shopping today. She decided she wanted to try the Mane and Tail shampoo and Conditioner  ;D

So after one washing, I'm not sure yet if the scalp flakes are any better, but the combing out afterwards was so much easier than usual. The conditioner is working much better than the child products we were previously using.

I guess I'll see if the scalp improves with some more washings.