Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: Venus193 on January 14, 2013, 06:51:41 AM

Title: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Venus193 on January 14, 2013, 06:51:41 AM
I hope this article didn't get that many readers:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/quora/2013/01/11/is_it_ok_to_lick_the_pasta_sauce_off_my_plate.html
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: msulinski on January 14, 2013, 07:27:31 AM
Yeah I can't say I agree with the writer on this. Sure, the woman loved the food and cared about that above all else, including the comfort of the other people in the restaurant.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: GoTwins on January 14, 2013, 07:37:33 AM
 :o
I don't even let my 4-year-old daughter do that at home! I can't imagine seeing an adult doing it in public.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: cicero on January 14, 2013, 07:40:03 AM
not really what i want to see when I'm dining...
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Venus193 on January 14, 2013, 07:57:37 AM
True.  I remember dining at a friend's house once and when her sister licked her plate my friend gave her the Look of Doom and yelled her name as though she were their mother.

I don't do that at home; I don't even double-dip at home.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Zilla on January 14, 2013, 08:14:35 AM
It's a joke at our table to lick our plates to keep others from mooching from it. But in any other context, heck no.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: onyonryngs on January 14, 2013, 08:27:59 AM
I don't think this actually happens.  People might sop up sauce with a piece of bread, but I doubt any of us have to worry about witnessing someone lick a plate.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Thipu1 on January 14, 2013, 08:39:03 AM
We've seen some pretty strange things happen in restaurants but this one takes the cake. 

Or perhaps she should have taken the bread. 
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: rose red on January 14, 2013, 08:48:22 AM
I've seen really really small children do that at family type restaurants, but I don't want to see an adult do that.  And at a fancy restaurant yet!  :P  That's what bread is for.  And if I see her get rewarded, I would never go back to that restaurant.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Amava on January 14, 2013, 10:10:37 AM
That's disgusting!!  :o

Granted, my sister-in-law does this at her parents' place at a family dinner - I don't like to see it, but I always figured she sort of likes to "regress to her childhood years" when she's with her mom and dad. I'm pretty sure she does /not/ do this in other settings, though!

Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: lady_disdain on January 14, 2013, 10:44:59 AM
Slate's standards is becoming abysmal.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: half_dollars on January 14, 2013, 10:59:03 AM
I actually a friend do that in our house. 

Now, we were poor college kids home for a break.  We had dessert (I don't remember what, but it was some sort of cake/pie/something eaten off a plate with a fork).  She ate the dessert, then licked her plate.  Now, she usually displayed such polite manners, so I was shocked to see this.  I blurted out something (rude), like, "if you're still hungry, there's more.  Help yourself!".  She replied that she wanted to savor every bite since she doesn't usually eat dessert.  I was in total shock!

Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: oceanus on January 14, 2013, 11:35:54 AM
:o
I don't even let my 4-year-old daughter do that at home! I can't imagine seeing an adult doing it in public.

When my niece and nephew were 5 and 2 they sometimes spent the weekend with me.  I did the plate-licking thing, then they did it, then we all giggled.  Later I was SCOLDED by their parents because they had been doing it at home.  :-[
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Minmom3 on January 14, 2013, 11:57:48 AM
In MY book - not when you're older than about 4 years old, and NEVER in public...  Grab another piece of bread and get it that way.  Flag a waiter and ask for a piece of bread to sop up your yummy sauce.  For the love of all things grown up and polite, don't lick the blankety blank plate...   ::)   Put it this way - good food is not an invitation to bad manners, right?!
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Twik on January 14, 2013, 11:59:38 AM
Is a person who writes professionally actually suggesting that it is acceptable for an adult to lick a plate in a restaurant? Because the sauce is "expensive"?

Sob.  :'(
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Tea Drinker on January 14, 2013, 03:10:07 PM
I suspect that this is link bait, to bring them more viewers and please their advertisers. (I know, not every obnoxious or stupid web article is such, but there are times it seems likely.)
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: lady_disdain on January 14, 2013, 03:37:50 PM
I suspect that this is link bait, to bring them more viewers and please their advertisers. (I know, not every obnoxious or stupid web article is such, but there are times it seems likely.)

Slate has been doing it a lot. The entire "You are doing it wrong" series, for example.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Moonie on January 14, 2013, 03:41:35 PM
Reminds me of the time when I took my grandson to the Asian buffet. He was about 6, and went over to get some dessert....dip your own ice cream. He was doing sooooo well when, to my horror, he licked the ice cream scoop!!! I grabbed the scoop from him, told him not to EVER do that again, and gave the scoop to one of the workers and said that it needed to be replaced. I like telling that story just to tease him, but thankfully he never did it again.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Kaypeep on January 14, 2013, 03:44:22 PM
When I was 11 or 12 I had a birthday party with ice cream cake and one of my friends licked their plate of the melted ice cream.  Later my mom told me to never have the friend over for a meal ever again.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: C0mputerGeek on January 14, 2013, 04:06:40 PM
I don't think this actually happens.  People might sop up sauce with a piece of bread, but I doubt any of us have to worry about witnessing someone lick a plate.
My stepfather used to do this, both at home and when we were out to eat. My mom had quite a time breaking him of this habit.

Edited to add: My stepfather grew up quite poor during the Great Depression and often did not have enough to eat. He has said - on multiple occasions - that his habit of licking the plate comes from that time. He and his brothers would lick their plates clean so as to get that much more food.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: QueenfaninCA on January 14, 2013, 04:23:39 PM
Yikes, I don't think that's ever OK unless you are by yourself.

Yes, I have been to fancy restaurants. But you ask for some bread or a spoon if you don't want to let the sauce go to waste (I usually ask for bread in that case but once it was enough sauce that the amount of bread required would not have been good for my waistline, so I asked for a spoon).
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Iris on January 14, 2013, 04:26:46 PM

Edited to add: My stepfather grew up quite poor during the Great Depression and often did not have enough to eat. He has said - on multiple occasions - that his habit of licking the plate comes from that time. He and his brothers would lick their plates clean so as to get that much more food.

This is a reasonable excuse for licking your plate imo. "This sauce was expensive and I don't want to waste it"? Not so much. Ask for extra bread.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Amava on January 15, 2013, 02:15:59 AM
Actually it just occurred to me, there is someone in my house who does this all the time and from whom everyone accepts this. I would never tell her off for it, too.

She even nudges her plate around with her nose!

Granted, she's a dog. And I don't take her to restaurants.  ;D
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: ettiquit on January 15, 2013, 10:44:44 AM
No.  Just...no.  I don't allow it in my home, and I sure as heck wouldn't want to see anyone in a restaurant (family style or high end) do this. 
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: sweetonsno on January 15, 2013, 11:15:31 AM
A slight tangent: according to Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, it's a faux pas to sop up sauces with bread, except perhaps in the privacy of your own home. (Apparently, you can use bread to push something onto your fork or spoon, but you should not use the bread as though it were a utensil.) For those who are curious, the proper way to use bread to convey sauce to your mouth is to tear off a small chunk, put it on the end of your fork, and then use your fork to wipe and eat.

That said, when the sauce is just *that good*, I tend to ignore manners. While I haven't ever literally licked my plate while out and about, I have breaded with abandon and even used a finger to get the last few drops. Not particularly polite, but I was facing a wall (and I did ask my dining companions if they minded). Maybe I should invest in a little food pusher. I suspect that would get almost as many stares as licking the plate, though.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Otterpop on January 15, 2013, 11:17:27 AM
Yeah, the plate lickers in my household walk around on all fours and poo outside.  If you don't do that you don't get to lick your plate, at least not where I can see you.  (Still, those two-legged bathroom users sometimes try...)
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Cat-Fu on January 15, 2013, 11:54:25 AM
I'll admit to licking the plate at home (hey, I'm a really good cook who has a deep love for sauces), but at restaurants I try to be cunning with my fork to get every last drop of sauce.

I agree with the PP who said that this is just linkbait. I highly doubt that this is going to become a Thing.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Carpathia on January 15, 2013, 05:31:48 PM
I'm ashamed to admit that I once did something similar in a restaurant. The sauce was really good, but we'd finished our meal and were all sat around the table talking of various things and I suddenly realised I'd been absent-mindedly dipping my finger in the sauce on my plate and licking it (finger, not plate) :-[

I promise I would not have done it if I'd been thinking - and I put my plate off to the side or put a paper napkin over it nowadays!
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: 25wishes on January 16, 2013, 08:06:35 AM
We have a not-very-close friend who does a variation on this. When he is through eating, he scrapes the fork over the plate (tines pointing up) to get every last bit of food. Repeatedly. And this is at a buffet, where he could easily go back for seconds if he wanted more food.

 He is otherwise a nice person and I wonder if this is one of the reasons he is still single at "40+". All I can think of is something ingrained from childhood, as in, Clean Plate Club. He does have a strange father.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Venus193 on January 16, 2013, 08:24:52 AM
Bad table manners is a huge turn-off for most women.  Nobody wants to be embarrassed by a date's bad manners, never mind a spouse's.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: ettiquit on January 16, 2013, 08:33:43 AM
I'm ashamed to admit that I once did something similar in a restaurant. The sauce was really good, but we'd finished our meal and were all sat around the table talking of various things and I suddenly realised I'd been absent-mindedly dipping my finger in the sauce on my plate and licking it (finger, not plate) :-[

I promise I would not have done it if I'd been thinking - and I put my plate off to the side or put a paper napkin over it nowadays!

That is at least a bit discreet, so I doubt anyone outside of your table would have noticed.   :D
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: BeagleMommy on January 16, 2013, 03:25:06 PM
The only time I've ever done this is when I had a weekend to myself and I was holed up in my pajamas watching chick flicks all weekend.

The only thing I've see comparable to this was the woman walking through the buffet line eating things off her plate with her hands.

These things should never be done when other people can see you.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Sign Of The Times on January 16, 2013, 04:17:45 PM
EW! Just, no!
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: oz diva on January 16, 2013, 04:40:41 PM
Actually I have to admit that I'm guilty of this faux pas. I had lamb with pomegranate molasses and that middle Easter spice mix which I can't remember the name of, it was The Most Delicious stuff and I couldn't waste any of it. My friends were disgusted, but they took a photo of me in the act.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: sweetonsno on January 17, 2013, 04:01:32 PM
Actually I have to admit that I'm guilty of this faux pas. I had lamb with pomegranate molasses and that middle Easter spice mix which I can't remember the name of, it was The Most Delicious stuff and I couldn't waste any of it. My friends were disgusted, but they took a photo of me in the act.

Ras el hanout?
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Shea on January 17, 2013, 04:27:05 PM
I can't believe anyone would endorse this behavior. Licking one's plate is only acceptable if you're eating alone (by which I mean alone in your own house!) or you're a dog. If the sauce is that amazing, ask for some bread and sop up the sauce that way. It may not be 100% etiquettely correct, but it's a lot less feral than licking your plate. Especially if you use a fork.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: katycoo on January 17, 2013, 07:29:53 PM
At home, if a sauce is THAT GOOD, I will scrape it all off the plate with my finger and lick it off my hand - like cake mix.  I still don't directly lick my plate.  I can't imagine who thinks that is ok.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Raintree on January 18, 2013, 03:40:52 AM
Perhaps she was licking the plate because the portion sizes were so small that she was still hungry. (As is often the case in high end restaurants).

Of course, that doesn't mean she should have done it.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: RingTailedLemur on January 18, 2013, 04:47:38 AM
At home, if a sauce is THAT GOOD, I will scrape it all off the plate with my finger and lick it off my hand - like cake mix.  I still don't directly lick my plate.  I can't imagine who thinks that is ok.

That sounds harsh.  A few people on this thread have said they might do it at home.

Heck, I do it at home when it's just me and DH (and he does it too).  I wouldn't do it in front of anyone else or at a restaurant, but I wouldn't be particularly bothered if I saw someone else do it at a restaurant.  It's bad manners, but it wouldn't affect me.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: EnoughAlready22 on January 18, 2013, 07:52:23 AM
I'm ashamed to admit that I once did something similar in a restaurant. The sauce was really good, but we'd finished our meal and were all sat around the table talking of various things and I suddenly realised I'd been absent-mindedly dipping my finger in the sauce on my plate and licking it (finger, not plate) :-[

I promise I would not have done it if I'd been thinking - and I put my plate off to the side or put a paper napkin over it nowadays!

I'm guilty of this as well. 
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Shoo on January 18, 2013, 10:29:35 AM
Reminds me of the time when I took my grandson to the Asian buffet. He was about 6, and went over to get some dessert....dip your own ice cream. He was doing sooooo well when, to my horror, he licked the ice cream scoop!!! I grabbed the scoop from him, told him not to EVER do that again, and gave the scoop to one of the workers and said that it needed to be replaced. I like telling that story just to tease him, but thankfully he never did it again.

My toddler daughter did that to the lid of a ketchup bottle in a restaurant once.  I about had a heart attack.  The scary part was that I had to practically INSIST the waitress replace the ketchup bottle and lid.  She didn't see it as any big deal!
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: rose red on January 18, 2013, 10:40:53 AM
Reminds me of the time when I took my grandson to the Asian buffet. He was about 6, and went over to get some dessert....dip your own ice cream. He was doing sooooo well when, to my horror, he licked the ice cream scoop!!! I grabbed the scoop from him, told him not to EVER do that again, and gave the scoop to one of the workers and said that it needed to be replaced. I like telling that story just to tease him, but thankfully he never did it again.

My toddler daughter did that to the lid of a ketchup bottle in a restaurant once.  I about had a heart attack.  The scary part was that I had to practically INSIST the waitress replace the ketchup bottle and lid.  She didn't see it as any big deal!

I don't use bottled condiments in restaurants; only individual sealed stuff.  I once saw a busboy wipe the opening of a ketchup bottle with the same cloth used to wipe tables.  Ew.

I bet that bottle your daughter licked went back into circulation.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: Allyson on January 18, 2013, 07:05:55 PM
A friend of mine did this at my house once. I was pretty shocked, and I'm not a high stickler for manners at all--I never learned proper ones. I think my eyes must have widened or something, because she shrugged and said something like, "Yeah, I was born in a barn." I didn't say anything about it, and it certainly didn't affect my friendship with her or anything, but it was one of those moments. I found it pretty disgusting and don't think I'd ever seen anyone else do it in real life!
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: katycoo on January 19, 2013, 08:36:57 PM
At home, if a sauce is THAT GOOD, I will scrape it all off the plate with my finger and lick it off my hand - like cake mix.  I still don't directly lick my plate.  I can't imagine who thinks that is ok.

That sounds harsh.  A few people on this thread have said they might do it at home.

Heck, I do it at home when it's just me and DH (and he does it too).  I wouldn't do it in front of anyone else or at a restaurant, but I wouldn't be particularly bothered if I saw someone else do it at a restaurant.  It's bad manners, but it wouldn't affect me.

I will clarify I did mean I can't imagine who thinks that is ok to do in public.

I don't care what you do in your house - its your house.  And presumeably your plate.  But I would totally judge (mentally) a person who did that in a restaurant.
Title: Re: Licking a Plate In a Restaurant
Post by: BeagleMommy on January 23, 2013, 01:13:14 PM
I asked DS about this to get a chef-in-training opinion.  First he did this  :o.  He then said this wouldn't even be a compliment to the chef because sauces are supposed to add to the meal not be considered a separate part.  All the components of the meal are supposed to marry well and one should not be considered tastier than the whole.

Just his opinion, but he tends to be a bit snobbish about food.