Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Humor Me! => Topic started by: mmswm on January 18, 2013, 09:23:30 AM

Title: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: mmswm on January 18, 2013, 09:23:30 AM
I've enjoyed reading the threads about kids' meltdowns and the funny things kids say.  I thought it might also be fun to share the funny stories of the trouble kids can get into.  Here's one of my favorites from my boys.

My oldest son used to watch my younger two on Saturday mornings for a couple hours.  One day, he decided to make pancakes.  The pancakes turn out well, but he got batter everywhere.  He tried to clean it up.  It was a big job.  So, in his 12 year old mind, he figures if a little soap is good, a lot would be better.  He proceeds to dump an entire bottle of dish soap on the floor.  Then he realized how slippery that makes the floor.  Oh cool!  Ice skating!  Inside!  All three boys engage. Thankfully nobody got hurt, but it took me hours to get all the soap and water off the kitchen floor and out of the bit of carpet that was right next to the kitchen.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on January 24, 2013, 11:44:44 AM
I discovered just how fast a 2 year old can move with my oldest.

One night, I was making dinner and while it was in the oven, I sat down on my bed with my then toddler to watch a cartoon.  I got up to check on dinner's progress and when I came back less than one minute later, I discovered she'd managed to

stand up and reach a shelf
grab my pinkest bottle of nail polish
open it
dump it all over herself and the bed

I still don't know how she got it.  It was like she was waiting for me to leave the room.

I also discovered that nail polish will come out of fabric with remover.  I figured they were trashed anyway, what did I have to lose?  You never even knew it was there.  Kid took a little longer to clean up...
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: SDG31000 on January 24, 2013, 03:09:42 PM
I discovered just how fast a 2 year old can move with my oldest.

One night, I was making dinner and while it was in the oven, I sat down on my bed with my then toddler to watch a cartoon.  I got up to check on dinner's progress and when I came back less than one minute later, I discovered she'd managed to

stand up and reach a shelf
grab my pinkest bottle of nail polish
open it
dump it all over herself and the bed

I still don't know how she got it.  It was like she was waiting for me to leave the room.

I also discovered that nail polish will come out of fabric with remover.  I figured they were trashed anyway, what did I have to lose?  You never even knew it was there.  Kid took a little longer to clean up...

My DS1 did this when he was 2 as well, although he only covered himself in nail varnish.....from head to toe.  I was pregnant with DS2 and had to get my neighbour to help me scrub DS1.  We used every remover product we had between us and had to hold him over the sink and rinse his hair in the stuff.  He stunk of nail varnish remover for days afterwards.

I learnt quickly that when DS1 was quiet that he was up to something.  This kid painted the underside of a two week old mattress with my 18 lipstick, dialled the emergency services at my PIL's house and we found out when they called to check everything was ok as he was calling to talk to the nice lady an,d conned his grandad out of numerous ice creams until he was found out.  He also made it snow and rain on his train track, using powdered banana porridge baby food and a cup of juice.  That stuff set like cement and I had to practically chisle it out of the carpet.
DS2 just used to climb anything and everything, run away given the slightest chance and could throw tantrums that lasted 6 hours. He also didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 years old.  It's a wonder we all survived.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: snowfire on January 24, 2013, 05:34:30 PM
When I was a volunteer at a local rehab hospitals, one of the pediatric patients who was about 4 came in with most of their skin an interesting shade of greenish blue.  It turned out that older brother had decided to color younger sister with a blue permanent marker.  You cannot get the color off...it has to wear off.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: kherbert05 on January 24, 2013, 08:09:05 PM
My Paternal  Aunt tried to fly out of a 2nd story window, she landed in a sturdy bush that cushioned her fall.


My Mom grew up in a place and time with a large divide between Catholics and Protestants. Her parents were a "mixed" marriage. That made Mom and her siblings targets of bullying sometimes.  One day my younger 3 Uncles were walking home with 2 other boys from another mixed family. A group of girls came up and said a crude version of the Hail Mary. The boys somehow tied the girls to a tree, and told them they were going to be tarred and feathered.


The boys left for awhile intending to come back and untie the girls - but they got called into the house. Part way through supper the girls and their parents showed up. My grandparents were ready to kill the boys - but the girls' parents made them appologize because it started with the crude version of the Hail Mary.


Mom and the rest of the older 5 used to spook their aunt that babysat. Aunt Stella was superstitious. They convinced her their house was haunted. Then they put milk bottles in the windows with the open end out. Being a island there is usually a good breeze. It would make "ghostly noise"


Mom had severe asthma. In an effort to keep her from getting pneumonia her parents and Doctor kept her housebound all winter (didn't work). She was the only one of the 10 kids to ever have her own room. The 5 boys shared 1 room 4 other girls shared a room. Her siblings sold tickets to other kids to come and listen to her breathe (wheeze). Her parents hit the roof.

Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: MommyPenguin on January 24, 2013, 08:21:09 PM
My oldest got into a poopy diaper and spread it all over her room.  Twice.   :-\

She also once got into a tube of diaper rash cream and got it all over herself, a bathroom rug, and some clothes.  It took *forever* to wash out, even once we found out that dish soap is what you want to use to cut the grease.  What I thought was hilarious was when I typed "how to get diaper rash cream..." into Google and saw "how to get diaper rash cream out of <carpet/rug/hair/clothes/etc.>" listed as options.  Apparently my child is not the only one to do this.

One morning when she was about 3, I woke up to hear crying.  I went out of my bedroom and saw a Hershey's kiss wrapper on the floor of the hallway.  Then another.  Then another.  I heard crying from the playroom and followed the trail of wrappers into the room, where I found wrappers *everywhere*, my oldest in a playpen pigging out on an entire bag of Hershey's kisses, and my younger daughter (who was like 18 months) crying outside the playpen because her sister was keeping the treat away and not sharing it.  (I took the kisses away from my oldest *and* gave her little sister some as a treat, because that's just mean to torture her with watching her sister eating them by the dozen and not get any herself!

I have had far fewer hilarious kid disasters as my oldest grew into a very mature, steady, obedient child (she's now 6) and not only does she not get into stuff she shouldn't anymore, but she keeps a good eye on her sisters and generally keeps them from being able to get into much anymore.

The one incident that *did* happen more recently was one day when I came downstairs from my shower to find my 2-year-old covered with chocolate.  Hands, face, etc.  The older ones hadn't noticed anything, and I had to go searching to figure out what she got into.  There had been a container of M&Ms on the counter that I thought she couldn't get into.  Sure enough, the container was *empty* (she'd eaten like a pound of them!) and there were chocolate handprints all over the sides and top of the container.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: GreenEyedHawk on January 26, 2013, 02:40:38 PM
I don't have kids myself but this is a story about two-year-old me that my mom loves to tell, whenever people remark that her set of lovely smoked-glass wine glasses and carafe has one glass missing.

See, my mother has a smoky glass wine carafe and glasses set that has its own metal stand.  The carafe sits in the middle and the wine glasses spiral up around it.  Really quite pretty.  The bottom-most wine glass is missing.  The set used to live on a sofa table in my parents' dining room and when I was two, I realised that I could reach the bottom glass and take it out of the rack.  I was fixated on these glasses and would steal one whenever I had the chance.

One day my mother spotted me standing in the dining room, clutching my ill-gotten wine glass, but she didn't want to startle me because she was concerned I might run, then trip and break the glass and be hurt.  Instead, she just sort of calmly said my name, hoping I'd drop the glass harmlessly on the carpet.  Clearly I knew I was doing something I shouldn't be, because my reaction was to turn and throw the wine glass at the wall, where it of course smashed.  I guess I must have thought I was getting rid of the evidence.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Hexteacher on January 26, 2013, 04:09:37 PM
I am so glad that my mother is not a member of this site, there are tales to tell, and scars to explain.

This story is about my Grandmother.  As a 5 year old child she somehow managed to sneak out of the back door of her parents house in Boston Ohio, and ran down the street looking for somewhere to play.  She was discovered on a building site a few blocks down walking along the roof ridge beam of the wooden frame of a house under construction.  The house was two stories high.  I'm not entirely sure what treats were used to bribe her down, (pretty sure chocolate was involved), but her parents were "relieved" when my grandmother returned to terra firma.

This is the lady who turned 90 last December.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Softly Spoken on March 03, 2013, 11:27:14 PM
I don't have any for myself, but before I came along my mom had to deal with 3 very entertaining boys. >:D

The only stories I remember off the top of my head (my brother won't admit to much but I'll get more out of him eventually):

My middle older bro E and my youngest older bro H were horrible influences on each other. They once were playing with a lawn dart set...long enough to get bored throwing the darts at the ring on the ground and just start lobbing them at each other. H got it in the shoulder and the dart set was permanently banned. Many of their toys were inevitably banned for misuse. ::)

The only trouble I was involved in was when E showed me the movie "Alien"...when I was five. :o Mom never found out why I was having nightmares about the "red biting worm" (the chest burster) that ran around under the furniture. E has apologized to me, but he never admitted to our mom that he let me see it. I actually like all the movies now so it didn't scar me for life - though I love teasing E that it did because I know he feels guilty about it.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Reika on March 04, 2013, 06:04:05 AM

The only trouble I was involved in was when E showed me the movie "Alien"...when I was five. :o Mom never found out why I was having nightmares about the "red biting worm" (the chest burster) that ran around under the furniture. E has apologized to me, but he never admitted to our mom that he let me see it. I actually like all the movies now so it didn't scar me for life - though I love teasing E that it did because I know he feels guilty about it.

Mom managed to traumatize me and herself with that movie without meaning to when I was around the same age. It was around the time HBO first became available in the area we lived in and the movie was being run prime time as sci-fi and the only description was "Space miners find a derelict spaceship of unknown origins." Harmless enough, right? Yeah, until the egg opened up and the facehugger got the guy.

Much, much later, Aliens is one of my favorite all time movies with Alien being a second favorite. And mom just shakes her head. ;)
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 04, 2013, 07:38:27 AM
My older two, when they were younger, were frighteningly good at sneaking off.  There was one time DH and I went white water rafting with a friend and left the boys with my parents for the day (before the direct cut, obviously).  Well we picked them up at night when the boys were fast asleep and just put them in their car seats without their shoes and in their pj's so they could be put in bed once we got them home. (we lived about a 5min drive from my parent's house)

The next morning I heard a knock at the door and found a police officer with my 6 and 4 year old boys.  Turns out they'd snuck out of the house to go to my parent's house to get their shoes.  Which we had, at home.  Which they would have known had they just woken us up and asked where their shoes were!

Thankfully the boys didn't get too far or cross any major roads and they got quite a talking to about leaving the house without telling us.  Their excuse? "We didn't want to wake you up!"

But they didn't learn from it apparently because 3 years ago we went to Ocean City, the five of us (Dh, myself, 2 boys and best friend).  We had mentioned, bff and I, that we'd be going to the beach first thing in the morning to watch the sunrise, which we did, walking and talking, taking pictures.  Then we hear familiar voices, turn around and here comes oldest son (8) running down towards us grinning, and his brother (6) looking very tired.  Turns out they'd snuck out of the hotel room while DH was sleeping, crossed the street and came to find us.   I called dh who was still fast asleep and feeling a mix of embarrassment that he hadn't heard them talking or sneaking about and anger that they had done that.

Younger son told friend and I "Well brother wanted to come down and I didn't, I wanted to keep sleeping but he wanted to go and I decided I'd go with him to make sure he didn't get hurt!" (yeah, this was the younger brother talking.)

I asked him "If you didn't want him to go and worried he'd get hurt, why didn't you just wake up your dad? That would put a stop to it right there!"
"Um.......yeah that would make more sense."  ::)

These days we go to Assateague State Park when we go to the beach and it's no biggie when the boys join us on the beach cause they just have to run over the dune to find us. :P
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: suzieQ on March 04, 2013, 09:27:59 AM
I may have posted this elsewhere on the site. When DD was a toddler, we bought our peanut butter from Sam's Club. The BIG pack of it that had a lid you just pulled off (it was rubber or something like it). I think I was in the bathroom, or maybe dealing with DS - out of the kitchen anyway. DD got that peanut butter off the shelf in the pantry and opened it. PB in her hair, on her clothes, on the floor. PB *everywhere*!

 
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 04, 2013, 09:35:44 AM
There's a note in my baby book stating "Warning, house booby trapped with pb and jelly!" Apparently when I was a toddler I decided to finger paint the walls with the innards of my pb&j sandwich.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: camlan on March 04, 2013, 09:41:06 AM
The children involved are my Oldest Nephew, age 3 who is physically disabled and uses a wheelchair that he can't quite push himself at this point, my Niece, age 2, and Little Nephew, age 2 weeks. My SIL is upstairs asleep. I'm in the back bedroom changing Little Nephew.  I return to the family room where the other kids should be, but aren't. I investigate.

The older two kids are in the kitchen. Niece is standing on Oldest Nephew's special standing frame, which raises her to counter height. She has clearly been on the counter, because she is clutching a container of cookies that was in an upper cabinet. Oldest Nephew is whispering instructions on how to get down out of the standing frame.

Oldest Nephew must have instructed her to push his chair down the hall, then instructed her to push the standing frame over to the counter, get in it, get up on the counter and retrieve his favorite cookies.

The look on their faces when they realized that I was watching them! Boy, were they surprised.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: mmswm on March 04, 2013, 09:43:24 AM
The children involved are my Oldest Nephew, age 3 who is physically disabled and uses a wheelchair that he can't quite push himself at this point, my Niece, age 2, and Little Nephew, age 2 weeks. My SIL is upstairs asleep. I'm in the back bedroom changing Little Nephew.  I return to the family room where the other kids should be, but aren't. I investigate.

The older two kids are in the kitchen. Niece is standing on Oldest Nephew's special standing frame, which raises her to counter height. She has clearly been on the counter, because she is clutching a container of cookies that was in an upper cabinet. Oldest Nephew is whispering instructions on how to get down out of the standing frame.

Oldest Nephew must have instructed her to push his chair down the hall, then instructed her to push the standing frame over to the counter, get in it, get up on the counter and retrieve his favorite cookies.

The look on their faces when they realized that I was watching them! Boy, were they surprised.

Amazing how cooperative even young children can be when there are cookies involved!
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Slartibartfast on March 04, 2013, 10:11:00 PM
My grandfather was the youngest of four boys.  I'm amazed they all survived to adulthood, honestly, but he tells some great stories!

- taking turns squeezing each other, Heimlich-style, until they passed out

- mumblety-peg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mumblety-peg) (I thought he was kidding about this game until I found the rules corroborated on Wikipedia!)

- "the bee game."  Apparently there was an undergroung beehive / wasp's nest near their house.  The "game" involved covering the hole with a ping-pong paddle and jumping on the ground to get the wasps mad.  Then whoever was covering the hole let a wasp out and the first boy had to whack it with a paddle.  The second boy got the next one, etc.  If someone missed, the next boy was supposed to get them both (still with just one swing).  The game went until the wasps stopped coming or (more commonly) the boy covering the hole got stung, at which point he'd jump and the paddle over the hole would move and the whole swarm would come out, thirsty for blood.  Like I said, a miracle any of them ever made it to adulthood!
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Reika on March 04, 2013, 10:30:03 PM
My grandfather was the youngest of four boys.  I'm amazed they all survived to adulthood, honestly, but he tells some great stories!

That reminds me of some of my grandfather's stories. Unfortunately, my memory is a little rusty, but there was one where on a dare he pushed the outhouse so it slid down the hill it was on. Only, his father was in it at the time. Which he and his siblings didn't realize until the door flew open to reveal one very unhappy person.

The other one I remember was that my grandfather and his brothers got their grubby little paws on a firecracker, opened it up and put some of the contents into their father's pipe. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt. Just astonished.

Unfortunately for his kids, he was unhurt and astonished. And mad.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Awestruck Shmuck on March 05, 2013, 01:04:24 AM
I was forever getting in trouble for wandering off, to be found chatting to random people - in shopping centres, hospitals - anywhere really.
But the one thing my mother still shakes her head at is my solo bus trip - at age 4. We were visiting family in the UK and my mum and aunt had taken me shopping in the nearby town.
I wandered out of the shop, and started talking to a man at the bus stop...and then followed him onto the bus! It was only after the guy got off the bus alone that the bus driver realised I was still there, and brought me back (maybe a few kilometres) at the bus stop was my frantic aunt, and very, VERY angry mother. I was in a pram the rest of the trip. Oh the indignity of not being able to walk as a four year old! my brother says I was very embarrassed.

Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: Nikko-chan on March 11, 2013, 12:23:48 AM
*Snicker* I have a story to tell about SunshineMom!

So one day young SunshineMom was riding her bike (she was about five or so) and she decided it would be an incredibly fun thing to ride her bike off of the side of the porch. Yeah... cue trip to the hospital where SunshineMom had to get stitches. They got her home, and the next day, (or was it the next week?) adventurous SunshineMom decided that riding her bike off of the porch had been fun. She did it again. In the end my grandmother and grandfather ended up sticking a football helmet on their adventurous little daughters head, knowing she wouldn't harm herself if she decided to take a dive off of the porch for a fourth (maybe third, i can't remember) time.
Title: Re: The trouble kids get into-funny stories
Post by: kherbert05 on March 11, 2013, 10:50:56 AM
Mom was in the hospital for pneumonia repeatedly
1. time she heard the priest say you couldn't survive pneumonia x times. She decided if she was going to die, she was going to ride an elevator first. So she left her room in her dressing gown and slippers got into the elevator and rode up and down - until a neighbor looking out her window saw this small figure in the elelvator - which was a cage on the outside of the building going up and down and called the nurse's station. This was in the middle of a Canadian winter.


2. Uncle Press (The doctor) stopped by and told Mom he was going to send her home that day. Nurse went into the room a little later to help her pack up. Mom was gone, mom's suit case was gone. Nurse calls Nanna and says, "Peg look out your window and see if you see Gerry. Press told her she could go home today and she left." Sure enough Mom was walking down the road (with street clothes, and winter coat, boots etc) home.


Dad -
In the 1950's they shut down the public pools in the summer to prevent the spread of polio. So Dad and his friends went swimming the the bayous - Yuck Yuck Yuck


Sis -
was in Kinder, I was in 4th. The bully that made my life miserable tried to take on sis. She told him "I'm not scared of you. I'll knock your teeth out if you touch me and no one is going to get mad at a 5 yo for fighting with a 9 yo." By the time the secertary got into the hallway Sis was chasing bully down the hall - holding something (sis says she just grabbed something that was in the hallway) like a baseball bat. (Sis was right she didn't get into trouble.)


Me -
There was a neighborhood dust up. I caught a boy a year younger than me (but bigger), sitting on sis punching her in the face. I pulled him off of her and gave him a black eye. His mom brought him back down to our house and demanded I be punished for hitting him. Dad questioned sis, cousin c, and me. He showed angry Mom sis's bruises. She insisted that we be punished. Dad told her to get off our property.


I was doing my homework and heard a scream from a front yard. I saw Steven (2 years younger than me but again bigger)  attacking Erica. (6 years younger than me - 4 years younger than Stephen and small for her age). I flew out the front door screaming for Mom. I tackled Steven knocking him off Erica. Sis and Mom grabbed Erica and got her inside. I hit him a couple of times and pushed him away from me so I could retreat inside. Dad got home and the whole family trooped over and demanded I be punished for  "attacking their son" It was ok for him to attack Erica (insert very bigoted reason basically this child killed Jesus) but I should have submitted to him because I was a girl. Dad told them to NEVER step foot on our property again. (My parents tried to get Erica's parents to press criminal charges but they were afraid upsetting neighbors about kid stuff)


I never did figure out what religion these people practiced but I stayed as far way from them as possible. (Both households practiced the same religion). Girls were supposed to let boys beat them up - and any type of imagination games/fiction books were going to send you to hell. So was my short hair.