Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: Camarynne on January 19, 2013, 08:36:21 AM

Title: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Camarynne on January 19, 2013, 08:36:21 AM
My fiancee and I are renting part of a house from a (female)friend of hers. We just moved in two days ago. They have known each other for years. We just met, however. Earlier, I was in the bedroom and owner casually went into the bathroom right down the hall, and used it...leaving the door open. I felt a little awkward. What if I had needed to pass by? We are renting the downstairs but have full house-sharing privileges and are temporarily staying upstairs while our area is being painted. We all get along wonderfully and the arrangement is very casual. Is this little detail just something I should ignore? Wave and smile as I walk by?
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Isisnin on January 19, 2013, 08:54:28 AM
Probably a habit friend picked up from living alone.  Ideally, your Fiancee should say something to her friend upon experiencing the open door herself.  That may also save face for the friend as she may not know that you saw her with the open door.

In the meantime, should you happen upon the open door again, put yours hand to your eyes while exclaiming "Excuse me!  I'll wait until you're finished." then go back the way you came.  when she leaves the bathroom, then go about your business. 
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: rain on January 19, 2013, 08:55:33 AM
cough, cough .... I'd let her know if makes you uncomfortable then work together to find a solution



(that being said - I couldn't live with someone who left the door open while they "did their business" )
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Cami on January 19, 2013, 09:15:06 AM
I had a roommate once who did that. I simply asked her if she could shut the door as it made me very uncomfortable. She said sure. Problem solved.
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Thipu1 on January 19, 2013, 09:27:52 AM
Isisnin is right.  If your housemate is used to living alone, she probably doesn't even realize that what she's doing makes you uncomfortable. 

A simple and quiet mention should be enough to fix the situation to everyone's satisfaction. 
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: TootsNYC on January 19, 2013, 10:43:30 AM
Just say something.

This is not a big deal, don't let it become one. And you are a full roommate, so you do NOT need your fiancÚ to be the go-between.

Just say, at some point very soon, "Oh, hey--I noticed the other day you didn't close the bathroom door. Now that we're living here, I'd really appreciate it if you would--it squicks me out, even if we are both girls."
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: QueenofAllThings on January 19, 2013, 11:00:25 AM
What Toots said.  I think that she probably feels that 'Hey, we're all women here' and may have grown up with a casual approach.
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Cosmasia on January 21, 2013, 11:55:34 AM
I'd just bring it up.
Personally I find it rude of people to do that when they're sharing space with someone that hasn't explicitly stated that they are fine with it.
Doesn't really matter if they share gender identity, blood or are in an intimate relationship.

I used to live with my older sister and she sometimes left the door open and even talked to me if I was in the tiny hallway right outside the bathroom.
I never said anything to her because I was/am too shy and such, but it always made me uncomfortable and I felt like I couldn't leave my room until she was done, because the bathroom door was right outside my own door. While I should have brought it up, I find it extremely rude that she never once asked me if it was okay to basically share the sounds, visuals and smells of her bathroom visits with me and our apartment.
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Slartibartfast on January 21, 2013, 11:59:37 AM
I can loan you Babybartfast - she'll burst in on you in the bathroom to lecture you that you should have locked the door  ::)
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: DragonKitty on January 21, 2013, 10:22:16 PM
I've taught hubby that he needs to leave the door open a few inches, so that the cats can get in when they want.  If you don't leave it partially open, they've learned to open the door by putting their weight on it, and now the door is open all the way.
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Katana_Geldar on January 22, 2013, 04:03:46 AM
I've seen people refuse to close the doors in public stalls, and this was in an expensive department store. I asked politely if she could close the door and she refused.
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: TootsNYC on January 22, 2013, 07:13:46 AM

My husband closes the door for me from the outside.

(I generally close the door. I used to close it only partly, bcs the cat could claw at it if I didn't, and after 17 years I found it a hard habit to break once she died. But I usually push it behind me, and sometimes it doesn't go closed and I'm in a REAL hurry.)
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Winterlight on January 22, 2013, 08:19:27 AM
Say something now before this grosses you out more.
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Syfygeek on January 22, 2013, 08:52:27 AM
I went to visit cousins and found out they are a "door open" family by walking by the occupied restroom, and the teenage son looked up from his magazine and spoke.

OP, good luck.
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: msulinski on January 22, 2013, 09:38:00 AM
I can loan you Babybartfast - she'll burst in on you in the bathroom to lecture you that you should have locked the door  ::)

I agree with Babybartfast
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: onyonryngs on January 22, 2013, 09:45:37 AM
A joking "Dude, close the door!" should probably do it.  (I realize she's female, but "dude" lightens the tone)
Title: Re: Leaving the bathroom door open.
Post by: Camarynne on January 22, 2013, 11:02:59 AM
Great ideas everyone, thank you for your responses. Problem seems to have solved itself for now, as she is almost never home when we are awake and we will be moving downstairs soon. The arrangement is working well. :)