Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: weeblewobble on January 31, 2013, 06:21:44 AM

Title: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: weeblewobble on January 31, 2013, 06:21:44 AM
Second letter down:

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130131

Short version: The LW works in a college campus donut shop and has had several people help themselves to the contents of her tip jar if they are running a few cents short in paying for their order.  When she objected, one lady called her selfish and told her that the money in the jar wasn't just for her.

I have NEVER seen this before!  Has anyone else ever seen customers take a proprietary attitude toward tip money that other people left behind?  Is it even remotely similar to the "take a penny" dish?  I am just boggled by this!
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: XRogue on January 31, 2013, 07:16:42 AM
No, this is totally not cool on the part of the customers. Taking money out of tip jars is a theft of money that belongs to the employee and of their time and service. :o

I work retail and the entitlement of some customers is mind-boggling.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: jaxsue on January 31, 2013, 07:23:15 AM
I'd never consider taking money from a tip jar! Have peoples' sense of entitlement become that bad?  :-\
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: MariaE on January 31, 2013, 07:24:41 AM
I agree with Abby. It's theft - plain and simple. Unfortunately this isn't the first time I've read of such a thing happening.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Winterlight on January 31, 2013, 07:32:43 AM
I hate tip jars, but this is rude and wrong.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Thipu1 on January 31, 2013, 08:33:39 AM
Absolutely wrong.  I wonder if the tip-jar dippers would consider scooping up tip money left on a table by other diners.

Yes, they probably would.  We're concerned about this and always wait at our table to make sure that the server gets our tip. 

The take-a-penny, leave-a-penny tray is one thing.  A tip jar is something very different.  I don't like tip jars but anything in them should be sacrosanct.   
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Hmmmmm on January 31, 2013, 08:43:06 AM
I think the idea of tip jars for counter service is so alien to some people that they really dot get the idea that these are tips and not spare change jars.  I think they either need to get rid of the tip jars or put up a big sign saying "Tips for the Staff"
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Amava on January 31, 2013, 09:04:23 AM
They need to get some sort of jar with a screw-on lid or a pop-out bottom, that can't be opened easily; and with a slit in the top so that the customers can easily put money into it but not take money out.
Kind of like a piggybank system. If necessary with a key.

Who on earth takes money out of a jar that is clearly marked "Tip jar"?

And by the way, what's up with the screaming. Are those customers raised by banshees or something, screaming in public like that.  :-\

Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Betelnut on January 31, 2013, 10:15:45 AM
They need to get some sort of jar with a screw-on lid or a pop-out bottom, that can't be opened easily; and with a slit in the top so that the customers can easily put money into it but not take money out.
Kind of like a piggybank system. If necessary with a key.

Who on earth takes money out of a jar that is clearly marked "Tip jar"?

And by the way, what's up with the screaming. Are those customers raised by banshees or something, screaming in public like that.  :-\

I know OUR Bansidhe wouldn't do that!   ;D
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: WillyNilly on January 31, 2013, 10:30:52 AM
Of course its stealing!

I actually did this once, but it was accidental and I totally apologized and put the money back.  I was in a Starbucks and they were using a clear plastic square with totally open top, sides only about 3 inches high, as a tip jar.  It only had a small handful of change in it (maybe they had just emptied it?) My total came to something like $2.03 and I had no change, so I dipped into the jar - I honestly thought it was a "take a penny, leave a penny" dish.  The look on the employees face made me question, and as soon as he confirmed no it was tips, I just pulled out another dollar.  I even left some of my change as a tip out of guilt.

I do think the jar needs to be well labelled (in the letter it says it is) and it should have a lid with a slot cut into it, like a piggy bank, to deter theft.  A "take a penny/leave a penny" dish is not a bad idea either if there is room on the counter for both.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: baritone108 on January 31, 2013, 10:36:57 AM
In the US stealing tips is considered a federal offense since it is theft of wages.  (At least that's what I was told by restaurants back when I was a waitress.)

I agree with whomever said the tip jar should just have a slot in the top so people can't just reach in.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: heartmug on January 31, 2013, 10:48:00 AM
The nerve.  No, that  is not cool at all.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: gellchom on January 31, 2013, 11:42:35 AM
"Who on earth takes money out of a jar that is clearly marked 'Tip jar'?"

Someone who can't read. 

Someone who has serious psychological issues.

No, of course it's still not okay for them to do it!  But there may be reasons - not excuses, but reasons - other than crass greed.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: rose red on January 31, 2013, 12:04:34 PM
It's OK to make a mistake, but when they tell you it's a tip jar and not for customers, screaming makes her an entitled you-know-what.

Like a PP, for table top services, I also pay the bill and tip directly into the waiter's hand.  I trust no one because of stories like this.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: BeagleMommy on January 31, 2013, 12:12:17 PM
Not only do I believe it, but I've seen it done.  A woman in line ahead of me at a donut shop was $1 short of her total.  She casually said "Oh, I'll just take it out of here.  You don't mind, do you?"  The cashier looked like this  :o, followed by this  >:(.  Another gentleman in line told her that she was stealing tips and suggested she downgrade her coffee to a small size.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Cat-Fu on January 31, 2013, 12:21:30 PM
I used to work at a coffee shop with a tip jar. People were always stealing money from it, even though it was labeled. I had more than one customer get very hostile with me when I objected to them stealing my tips. I probably didn't make matters better because I was barely scraping by at the time and my tips were what paid for my food (usually ramen) so I would get really pissed off at the thieves. Sometimes, generous people would leave a dollar or two. I learned quickly to never leave more than one bill in the tip jar, because any extras would absolutely be stolen the second my back was turned.

And, FTR this was over 10 years ago, so it's not even like it's something new. :(
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: alkira6 on January 31, 2013, 02:22:22 PM
My husband works for Starbucks and the location that he started at used to have the tip jar stolen at least once a month.  They finally epoxied it down on the counter with managerial approval.  They also had to empty it every time someone put a bill into it.  Those tips are 1/5 of his salary.  You are stealing directly from the people that the tips are intended for.

The store that he transferred to  is much better abouth theft, but people will treat it like a "take a penny tray" if the employees are not careful.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Paper Roses on January 31, 2013, 07:44:40 PM
Wow.  The only way I could imagine it being anywhere even close to acceptable would be if someone was making change - meaning, putting in a dime and taking out 2 nickels.  Obviously, that's not the case here.

I also dislike tip jars, but stealing from them is all kinds of wrong.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Allyson on January 31, 2013, 08:34:25 PM
Oh yes, this happens often enough that we would hide the tip jar when we saw certain people coming! Occasionally people would make a mistake and think it was 'take a penny', and that wasn't a problem. If someone was short a few pennies, I would take them out of the tip jar and let them do it, it was usually appreciated! But every so often there were people who just don't care.

I also really could live without people informing employees how they aren't leaving a tip, tip jars are wrong, etc etc. Just...don't leave a tip. No need to make a production out of how you aren't doing it.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: LifeOnPluto on January 31, 2013, 08:38:11 PM
Wow, that's horrendously rude and entitled. An honest mistake is one thing (if the container is not clearly labelled) but if the sign says "Tip Jar", there's really no excuse.

I hope that in this case, employers back up their staff, when faced with screaming customers who try to take the money. This is one case where the customer is absolutely NOT right!
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: kglory on February 01, 2013, 01:59:30 AM
Short version: The LW works in a college campus donut shop and has had several people help themselves to the contents of her tip jar if they are running a few cents short in paying for their order.  When she objected, one lady called her selfish and told her that the money in the jar wasn't just for her.

The lady's right -- the tip money wasn't just for her.  It was for her and the other employees! Not greedy customers!

I've never heard of this, and am even more discouraged to read here that apparently it's a common problem.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: kherbert05 on February 01, 2013, 05:44:40 AM
The koloche shop I go to has a tip jar. One Saturday I went in they didn't have enough pennies go give me my change. I told them to it was ok, but they took the pennies out of the tip jar to give me.


The next person tried to take a dollar out of the tip jar to pay for their stuff - that didn't go well. The weird part she had seen me put the dollar in the tip jar.


They are real nice. One time I went in and only had 20s from the ATM. Someone had come in just before me and wiped out their change. They were waiting for the bank to open to go get change. They just gave me my order for free. My Saturday routine is to go there, then grocery shop. I drive back by on my way home. So I stopped back there and paid for my breakfast since I had smaller bills.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: Twik on February 01, 2013, 12:04:44 PM
The problem is, some places put out "leave a penny, take a penny" containers, where you are expected to take a few cents if you need them. It's a convenience for the shop as well as the customer - less hassle making change.

I think the problem here is that the customers are truly confused as to the difference between a tip jar and a LAPTAP container. I'm sure many customers are confused and humilated that the worker is objecting to her/him taking money that the customer honestly believes was available for them. I think the lady who said the money was "not just for them" was under this impression.

Taking if you know it's a tip jar is stealing, but I think a lot of this is "there is a little box of coins here - can I use them, or not?" If it doesn't state the purpose clearly, it can be genuinely confusing.

I think I've dropped a fair amount of change into LAPTAP containers just on the off-chance they're for tips.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: jaxsue on February 01, 2013, 12:14:55 PM
I'd to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comed to tip jars and take-a-penny, leave-a-penny trays (TAP-LAP), but in my experience they look very different. You see dollar bills in tip jars, not in the TAP-LAP trays. And tip jars are labeled "TIPS" in every place I've seen them.

An inability to read the label? Maybe. But, honestly, I think most people who fish money out of a tip jar have a super high sense of entitlement, and pretty much live their life thinking rules are for others, and not them.
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: DragonKitty on February 01, 2013, 12:25:56 PM
Wow!   That is really sad.

I don't tend to tip into tip jars, but at least I know better than to take money from them.  But I also almost never use the LAPTAP bowls either, I'm usually using my plethora of pennies in my purse/wallet.  (DH doesn't like pennies in his pockets, so he has a tray he dumps them in, and I help myself to that tray, on his desk).
Title: Re: Well, there's an attitude toward tipping I've never seen before (Dear Abby 1-31)
Post by: 25wishes on February 01, 2013, 12:44:43 PM
I used to work summers at a snack bar at a pool area at a very upscale apt. complex. We would put out a tip jar the last week of the season. One year we caught an older lady walking off with it.