Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: oceanus on February 12, 2013, 09:04:30 PM

Title: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 12, 2013, 09:04:30 PM
Ever run into someone you had little more than a passing acquaintance with a long time ago, and they latch onto you and “overshare” – and that’s putting it mildly?  They tell you things which, for most people, would be kind of embarrassing?

It’s happened to me several times, but most recently this week.

I went to meet a friend for lunch, arrived in the area 40 minutes early, and decided to kill some time in the library (which is across the street from the café).  I was going to leaf thru a few magazines, but as I entered the main lobby area a woman waved abd approached me …………….we had met at a wedding reception over a year ago, and we kind of hung out together (at the reception) but I haven’t seen her since.  Frankly, I didn’t even remember her name.

She said she had come close to having a nervous breakdown because her ex-fiance had moved out while she was at work, stolen her credit card, her son is in an ugly custody battle, etc. etc.  I nodded, make a few sympathetic sounds.  After 15 minutes of this, I checked the time and said “Oh, I’ve got to run.”  As I eased away she said “We should get together”, and I just smiled and said “Take care.”

I didn't say "Yes, we should" because I have no interest in a friendship with her.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: delabela on February 12, 2013, 09:28:34 PM
There have been times in my life where I'm a magnet for this. I usually try to say something positive ("well, you look great today!") and extricate myself without giving contact info. I am sometimes surprised at how few boundaries some people have.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Judah on February 12, 2013, 09:38:11 PM
There's something about my face that says, "Please tell me all your intimate problems." I've had perfect strangers tell me their problems. If it's someone I know, even a little bit, I let them go on and try to give vague platitudes in response.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 12, 2013, 09:42:41 PM
Years ago I swore there must have been a sign on my clothing or forehead: "Tell me about all the men who have messed your life up".  But, I checked, and saw no such sign/sticker.   :-\
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: doodlemor on February 12, 2013, 10:48:49 PM
I think that you handled this very well.  Next time, if you see her coming, start preparing bean dip.

We used to get this kind of thing at parent - teacher conferences.  Some people apparently need/want the catharsis of spilling it all.  Even when distracted they are likely to return to their favorite disasters.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Amava on February 13, 2013, 12:59:50 AM
I'm an "oversharer magnet" too. I really do seem to have "tell me the soap opera of your life" written across my forehead.
I don't really mind it, because I love listening to people's stories - after all, I seek out people's stories on the Internet to read, too.

The only things I've had to learn were:
- not to get emotionally involved. It's one thing to hear (or read) about people's problems, but I've learned to not let their burdens keep me awake at night.
- not to expect the same people to care about /my/ story whenever I need a listening ear.
 
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: CrochetFanatic on February 13, 2013, 01:48:43 AM
I get this a lot, and so does my mother.  I had it happen at work once when another cashier and I were talking in between customers.  She mentioned in passing that she was meeting her boyfriend after work, and when I said, "Oh, cool.", she looked at me like I was out of my mind.  She then went on a long rant about how he had terrible habits and she was only with him because he gave her new things and she liked new things.  She basically tore him down while outright admitting that she was using him.  I made some sort of excuse to leave the front for a bit, and was swamped with "busywork" for the rest of my shift.  I wasn't touching that situation with a ten-foot pole!

As for my mom, when some people find out she's a nurse, they take it as an invitation to discuss their bowels and such.  With other people standing within hearing distance.  When these encounters happen, and I'm around, I usually make myself scarce.  Also, people seem to get highly offended when, instead of doling out free medical advice, she tells them that they should go see their doctor.

I always feel like a deer in the headlights when acquaintances do this to me, because they always expect some sort of response/agreement.  :-\  Once, when I said, "I'd rather not get involved", the girl I was talking to sort of drew herself up and snapped, "I just got you involved.  >:("  Might have been rude on my part, but I just walked away.  I've got so many stories it's not even funny, but I think I'll stop there.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: VorFemme on February 13, 2013, 07:52:14 AM
I have one SIL that is the youngest of several daughters.  She and her sisters share "everything".  As in very intimate details of their private lives.....

She wants to have the same level of closeness to her husband's sisters.

We don't want to hear that kind of detail about our brother......and what they do behind closed doors.

We know that they have two kids and we are niether OB/Gyns nor midwives - so please keep the rest of that to yourself.....please, please, pretty please with sugar & cinnamon on top.

There are certain people in this world that you do not want "that kind of details" - and I mean no details whatsoever about their *really* private lives - your grandparents, your parents, your siblings, your children, and their children are on that list (at least, to me).   

It took a little brain bleach...and possibly a Bunny FooFoo...or two...to achieve forgetfulness.

Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 13, 2013, 11:16:11 AM
Ah yes. COunt me in as being a magnet for people like this too!

Although in my two instances, it was friends who overshared in my presence. Once, many moons ago, a friend and I were doing weight watchers together. And as everyone does, we were chit chatting with the others as we were waiting for weigh-in. Now while its fine to say "oh i'm nervous, i didn't stick to the plan too well" and stuff like that, my friend is the queen of oversharing.  She launches into a diatribe about how she KNOWS she gained since mother nature had arrived, and so on. The poor woman next to us had the deer in headlights look!

And this same friend, another time, when we were all hanging out at another friends, overshared about her HUSBAND.  Several of us were jokingly taking about scrabble, but nothing personal, just generally, and having fun. She comes up and proceeds to tell us what postitions they prefer, and why, and also discussed ahem, size. mind you, her DH was in the other room!  we all cringed and told her to quit it.

And then there's my manager at work. Who is divorced, has a rat for an ex-DH, money problems, etc etc etc. She goes on and on to anyone and everyone about how terrible thing are for her. Looking for sympathy, I supposed but really its gotten old. Although she was told by our DM no more, so its stopped, thankflully, for hte most part.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 13, 2013, 11:36:31 AM
I remember when I used to take a bus from the building where I was working downtown and get off where my car was parked.

A woman I had NEVER laid eyes on sat down next to me and said “These men will really mess with your mind.  Last night, …”  Just then at that moment my bus came.  Thank you, God!   I walked away without saying a word.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Dalek on February 13, 2013, 11:52:16 AM
I had a brand new coworker corner me in the break room one day as I was looking in the refrigerator. She kept telling me about her hysterectomy she had the previous year. I just wanted to find my
Carnation Instant Breakfast drink and get the heck out of there. No coworker needs to hear those details.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 13, 2013, 12:03:44 PM
Quote
She kept telling me about her hysterectomy she had the previous year.

Yeah, it's incredible how people will share details about things like that, problem pregnancies, abusive relationships, financial problems, an incarcerated relative, :o etc. etc. with people they barely know or even haven't seen before.

Okay - venting is one thing.  Over-sharing is another.  There are limits!

I guess sooner or later they find someone who is not only fascinated by their story but willing to share their own stories, so they're willing to put up with several people walking away and rolling their eyes. ::)
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: TootsNYC on February 13, 2013, 12:17:50 PM
Next time, don't wait 15 minutes.

The moment you realize what's going on, interrupt and say, "Excuse me, I need to get going." And go.

Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: bansidhe on February 13, 2013, 01:50:51 PM
I don't have a problem with people sharing medical stories (most stories, anyway) and it occurs frequently where I work. The thing is, we're in a "medical periphery" industry and most of us have worked at hospitals and the like, so it's the norm for us. Thus, I wouldn't bat an eyelash if a distant acquaintance told me about her hysterectomy or whatever and would probably ask all kinds of questions, as I find the topic interesting. Given the responses in this thread, I take it that's not the norm for most people. :D

Were that person to start talking about other overly personal topics, I'd go for making sympathetic noises and suddenly remembering I'm running late for an appointment.

As for being a magnet for oversharers, I'm not usually. I am, however, a magnet for women who are being beaten up by their husbands/significant others. They aren't oversharing, but are desperate and asking for help. Not sure why this keeps happening to me...

Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Julian on February 13, 2013, 02:00:57 PM
I also have a 'please overshare' sticker on me somewhere...

Once years ago I was at a friend's place.  Her mother was there too, with her friend, who I had never met before.  Friend of Mother found out I was a nurse, so she just had to tell me about the horrible surgery she'd had recently - only she didn't just tell me.

She hoiked up her dress over her head, pulled her knickers down to 'oh no, put it away' level and said 'What do you think of that?'  And stayed that way, trying to hold her clothes and point out the various scars, divots and otherwise and tell me exactly how they happened.

Friend and Mother and I were all just gobsmacked.  Jaws on floor all around the room.  Nobody knew where to look. 
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: demarco on February 13, 2013, 03:22:47 PM
I used to have this problem.  Relatives, friends, acquaintances, library patrons and strangers on a plane would corner me and spew every last detail of the most outrageous stories you ever heard.  It was tiresome and sometimes alarming when it was a stranger or near stranger doing it.  I only learned how to deal with it out of desperation when backed into a corner by one of my SIL's.  I knew that this woman was a bottomless pit and I had only been spared til this moment because I lived some distance away and didn't get home often.  I think it was the first time I was ever alone with her.  She started in and I knew I was in trouble.  Instead of making polite, sympathetic noises as I usually did in these circumstances  I said nothing.  She made a dramatic statement, paused.  Made another dramatic statement, paused.  She may have made a third dramatic statement, along with another pause.  The point is, after that she quit. 

The zero response technique worked and I have used it consistently since,  when needed.  It usually works for me.  The irony is, I wasn't trying out a tactic the first time I did it. I hadn't made a decision not to respond  I was just a deer in the headlights, unable to respond, because I knew how much trouble this woman could be. 

Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: CrochetFanatic on February 13, 2013, 04:03:42 PM
I once had a classmate lean in so that her face was less than three inches away from mine, stick out her tongue, and turn a bit to the side to point out where she had bitten it.  I sort of leaned back, fighting the impulse to push her away, and said, "Yeah, that, uh, looks painful.  :o"  I then excused myself to the restroom (Okay, I panicked and went to hide so that I could gather my thoughts again), and prayed that she wouldn't follow me in there to tell me something worse and bathroom-related.

That might actually be "oversharing" on my part.  If so, I apologize.  ;D

Said classmate also had no filter at all, and seemed a little slow, so no one really called her on it.  She really was a nice girl, but she latched on to me for some reason, and I didn't know how to disengage without starting something.  At the time, there were only three other classmates.  I sort of wish I had found this place back then, because I might have had some idea how to proceed. 
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Lady Snowdon on February 13, 2013, 04:49:55 PM
Last year, one of my friends was having issues with her marriage.  She was telling me all about her issues, and threw out that she was really worried her husband was cheating on her.  I said something about I'm sure he wouldn't, since I thought that he really wanted to stay with her.  She went on to define cheating for me, and shared that one of the situations she would consider cheating would be ... ummm... playing scrabble by yourself.  I was dumbstruck.  I don't need to know, I didn't want to know, and how on earth do you respond to that bomb?  :o  I think I stammered and said that if he knew what she had problems with, and wanted to stay with her, that I was sure he would not mess up.  Thankfully that amount of detail was never brought up again, but yeah.  Talk about oversharing!  I don't care how well I know someone, there's no reason I need to know that level of detail about someone's life!

I was caught off guard in that particular situation, but most of the time I just go very flat.  I don't make any of the appropriate noises (like Oh wow!  Oh my goodness!  Really?  gosh!) and I try to change the subject quickly. 
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: cheyne on February 14, 2013, 02:52:41 PM
I, too have the "Please tell me every.little.thing about your life!  TMI OK!" sign on my forehead.

I manage a group of people.  I do NOT require anyone to tell me why they need time off, just that they do it in a timely manner so I can schedule accordingly.  I have never asked any of my workers what they were doing on their time as I don't feel it is my business.  Most people will say something like, "I need the 3rd of April off for my nephew's wedding" or some such and that is fine.

Just today I have had two conversations that I didn't want to have.  One of the men here is separating from his wife and had to tell me all about it.  I kept saying, "Honestly [name] it's none of my business.  If you need time off just let me know with a week's notice and you can have it."  He would not stop, until I made up a task that I had to do.

The second is a woman here who is TTC and went for a round of appointments (she had asked for time off last week and told me why she needed it).  I heard chapter and verse about it.  I got out of that by going to lunch.

I understand that this is how many people "connect", but I don't want any drama in my life and actively avoid it.  I may need to talk DH into helping me pay for a face lift or some other cosmetic surgery to remove the sign on my forehead.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: MasterofSquirrels on February 14, 2013, 04:40:14 PM
I too have a sign that says "Tell me your deepest darkest secrets and the most intimate details of your life" someplace on me. I just make the appropriate noises and walk away, slowly.

I really think that the people that latch onto strangers or near strangers need to tell someone, *anyone* that they are having problems. I think it's safe for them, they know you won't see them again, or see them soon, they know that you don't really care, so you are not likely to gossip, and they can unload their troubles without any followup conversation.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Shortylicious on February 14, 2013, 05:38:33 PM
I've had a few near strangers tell me that they were 'trying' for a baby. Oh boy. Thanks for that mental picture. Oversharing TMI has become so prevalent! I've often wondered if it's because of social media. Folks put so much info out on Facebook and Twitter that they just assume that we all want to hear about their private lives. No thanks!! Not interested!!
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: jayhawk on February 14, 2013, 05:49:19 PM
I had just graduated from college and jobs were scarce. I had gone downtown to apply for a receptionist job (along with about 50 other folks, IIRC). Another applicant and I shared the 20+ floor elevator ride down after applying. I got to hear about her hysterectomy on that ride. That was 30 years ago and I'm still  :o
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: LifeOnPluto on February 14, 2013, 08:15:32 PM
I too have a sign that says "Tell me your deepest darkest secrets and the most intimate details of your life" someplace on me. I just make the appropriate noises and walk away, slowly.

I really think that the people that latch onto strangers or near strangers need to tell someone, *anyone* that they are having problems. I think it's safe for them, they know you won't see them again, or see them soon, they know that you don't really care, so you are not likely to gossip, and they can unload their troubles without any followup conversation.

Agreed. They probably figure strangers will be less judgemental than close friends and relatives. Or perhaps they've simply worn out their close friends' and relatives/ sympathies and need fresh meat to latch onto!

My story is when my landlord's wife (who was pregnant) suddenly started complaining about the impending baby, and how it would make her life so inconvenient!
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: crella on February 14, 2013, 09:06:57 PM
I think I posted about this here before, but my surprising TMI incident was at a bank. The person who was taking care of my transaction was making quite a few mistakes entering data, and then she exploded and blurted that she couldn't concentrate on work, she was waiting for test results to come back about the baby she was carrying.

I now seem to be a magnet for tragedy stories. Three times when we were in the US last spring people told me about losing a parent or a child...DH kept saying "What is it about you that makes people want to tell you things like that?". I have no idea...
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Raintree on February 14, 2013, 10:22:50 PM
I used to get sucked in by oversharers, as in I felt good that they trusted me, or that they were open and honest and easy to form friendships with. That was in my gullible days.

Nowadays, I've come to realize that these people should not be trusted; they usually turn out to be drama queens, emotional vampires with a neverending list of "issues" and crises to unload on you. And if you share anything with them, it'll come back to bite you in some way. Best to keep your distance from people like that.

(When they tell you something like, "I'm taking time to work on myself" and tell you all the self-help books they are reading, it's a definite red flag!)
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 14, 2013, 10:41:19 PM
There’s a woman who lives down the street I see once in a while (walking her dog when I’m tending to my flowers, etc.)  She likes to stop and chat.  But, she’s a sweet, funny lady who seems a bit lonely and I don’t mind talking a break to talk.  She doesn’t overshare, and I don’t feel like she’s trying to suck me in.

That’s different from the Emotional Vampire, who has tentacles (like an octopus).  If you dare to resist, sometimes the EV will throw a tantrum, telling you how selfish you are because “I guess if it has nothing to do with YOU, you’re not interested.  Well, excuse me for bothering you.”  >:(

Well, okay.  Whatever.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: m2kbug on February 14, 2013, 11:49:02 PM
The last time I got stuck in this type of situation, I had to listen to a laundry list of health issues, and it just went on and on and on, in great detail, and frankly, I really don't want to hear about your bowel movements or yeast infection, is this really something you need to share?  I was kind of trapped, just trying to figure out a way out without being rude, when someone noticed and asked how we were doing.  The topic got changed, thankfully, and now I avoid this person or avoid being alone with this person every time I see her.

I think you handled the situation well, if you were worried about that.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: MrTango on February 15, 2013, 06:20:29 AM
On the occasions people have done this to me, I've been pretty direct in telling them to stop telling me about whatever topic they're sharing.

In my experience, directly telling someone that I don't want to hear about [problem] is nearly 100% effective.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 15, 2013, 08:41:59 AM
Quote
I think you handled the situation well, if you were worried about that.

No, I wasn't worried.
Just wanted to hear experiences of others.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Lynn2000 on February 15, 2013, 04:59:07 PM
I've had some co-workers (including my boss) who overshare. My boss is very paranoid about her health, to take just one thing--it's more stuff like her eyes or her heart than any, er, other parts, but I still don't like to hear about it. She's one of those people who complains and speculates and over-dramatizes but won't actually go see a doctor about anything, or if she finally does go she doesn't trust what the doctor told her.

She really wants to hear how special she is for being so sensitive (as in, sensitive eyesight, sensitive hearing, etc.). Sorry, having secret constant migraines that don't always manifest with pain but make you feel seasick or unable to look at someone wearing red stinks... but it's not a superhero power.

Generally, I try the "little response" route. Since it's my boss, I feel like totally ignoring her isn't very smart, so I usually face her and nod or say vague supportive things like, "Oh yeah. Sure. Of course." But nothing more elaborate or emotional than that.

She keeps coming back, though... I've been trying a new thing lately with some success. It also worked on a previous co-worker who overshared and generally talked about himself all the time. I've found that if I actively contribute to the conversation, incorporating my own troubles or those of people I know, it seems to end faster.

Like when my co-worker would go on and on ad nauseum about the videogame he was playing, I would wait for a natural pause and then jump in with, "Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean! I've been playing this game online that..." And believe me, I wouldn't get very far before he was visibly bored and ended the conversation himself. I mean, I wouldn't interrupt him or anything rude like that--I didn't talk for a quarter as long as he had. It could have been a nice conversation about our gaming hobbies... if he was actually interested in a conversation, which obviously he wasn't, he just wanted to hear the sound of his own voice.

I tried this a little bit with my boss the other day and it also seemed to bring the conversation to a close quicker. She said someone suggested she had allergies but she'd never had allergies, so I jumped in with a (true) story about how my grandma felt bad for a year before someone looked into her crawlspace and found all kinds of mold growing there, that was blowing up into the house. You don't have to be "allergic" to mold to get sick from that amount. My boss threw in a couple more lines about how she's had someone check her basement... then decided she was done with the conversation. Yay for me!
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 15, 2013, 05:27:12 PM
I seem to have become less approachable in the last few years and frankly, that doesn't really bother me too much since I used to have this problem.  One day, when my oldest was a baby, I was walking home from a WIC appointment and this woman I've never met before says "I need to talk to someone, can I talk to you?"  I said sure and turned around since she was walking the opposite way. I proceeded to have my ear bent for the next hour almost two hours and I didn't know how to nicely extricate myself from the situation and back then I wanted to be nice to everyone.

I was treated to a long telling of how she was married to a man who was much older than she and was a nice enough guy but they did not have a very romantic relationship, were not close, she was bisexual and by the time I suddenly remembered I had something to do, it was right when I was getting the feeling she was coming on to me. 
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: kareng57 on February 15, 2013, 09:55:32 PM
Sometimes it's not even acquaintances - but borderline-strangers........

Twice (a couple of years apart), when my kids were taking swim lessons at the community pool, I had oversharing mothers trying to befriend me.  Please understand that I was not adverse to making new friends; however, within a few minutes of introduction, both of these moms (their situations were strangely alike) were telling me tales about how they were being persecuted by:

- their landlords
- their kids' teachers
- their exes (kids' fathers)
- their social workers
- their ex-in-laws
- their doctors/medical clinics

you get the idea - and this included lots of TMI stuff.  Initially, I'd try to be helpful - "perhaps you need to talk to the housing authority about that, this is their number" for example.  But that never really worked, all they would want to do was complain continually.  Eventually I took the coward's way out - finding somewhere else to be while my kids were taking their lessons.  I certainly didn't like it, but didn't really know what else I could do.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 15, 2013, 10:28:24 PM
Most over-sharers and other whiners don't really want solutions.  If you offer ideas, they come up with reasons why it won't work.  Or, worse, they use it as an excuse to have further contact and "bond"   ::)
::shudder::
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 19, 2013, 10:31:51 AM
Most over-sharers and other whiners don't really want solutions.  If you offer ideas, they come up with reasons why it won't work.  Or, worse, they use it as an excuse to have further contact and "bond"   ::)
::shudder::

I agree. Or in the case of the few I know, don't have a lot of common sense, which I quite honestly, have no patience for. I've had them go on endlessly about something, and said to them "well, why don't you try this?" and its like the lightbulb goes on. I think they're so wrapped up in their own self-made misery, they lose sight of simple solutions to their problems.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Jones on February 19, 2013, 11:00:09 AM
Not all oversharers are negative or whiners--this weekend I ran into the relative of one of my coworkers and she proceeded to share updates on a number of her other relatives, including acting out her grandson's imitation of a popular cartoon. Yes, she was imitating a child imitator, a child I've never met, and sharing stories on a bunch of other people I've never met; I nodded politely as all the characters in her story got mixed up in my mind.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: BeagleMommy on February 19, 2013, 11:27:55 AM
Stories like these are why I always have a book with me in the doctor's office or headphones at the gym.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 19, 2013, 12:16:31 PM
Not all oversharers are negative or whiners--this weekend I ran into the relative of one of my coworkers and she proceeded to share updates on a number of her other relatives, including acting out her grandson's imitation of a popular cartoon. Yes, she was imitating a child imitator, a child I've never met, and sharing stories on a bunch of other people I've never met; I nodded politely as all the characters in her story got mixed up in my mind.

See, now, I don't consider this to be oversharing, really.  I guess it is, but to me, someone who overshares, is discussing something that is more personal, such as health, marital or other sensitive issues.  But I do have encountered people who will go on endlessly about their families, friends, and others I don't know at all.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: CrochetFanatic on February 19, 2013, 12:17:58 PM
Books and headsets don't stop everyone...I had someone I only knew at work start to talk to me when we were on break and I was trying to read.  She didn't really like me (the feeling was mutual), but she liked to talk about her husband a lot, and it was at the point where my teeth would involuntarily clench together whenever I heard anyone say "my husband".  I got over that soon after I no longer had to talk to her.

I responded to her statements with "Mm-hmm", "yeah?", and the occasional glance and nod, but I continued to try to read.  I had been in there before she arrived, so I was reading when she got there, and I was hoping she'd take the hint.  After a short time, she plucked the book out of my hands and closed it, losing my page, and informed me that I was being very rude to her.  Maybe I was, I don't know.  Send me to ehell in a hand-basket if you like, but I was past caring.

Her: You don't keep reading when someone's talking to you.  >:(
Me:  :o  >:( *takes back the book, finds the place again, and marks it with a stray magazine insert* Don't do that again. *heads back up front, even though there's still about ten minutes on my break*

Just telling her nicely that I didn't really feel like talking was never received well.  This incident happened because sometime before that I had tried telling her nicely that I didn't feel well (true), and didn't really feel like talking (also true, but not because I didn't feel well!).  She was highly offended by that, and for a few days afterwards she would start conversations with me with a snippy, "Are you feeling well enough to talk to me today, or should I come back later?"  Well, after hearing that, who would want to talk to her?
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 19, 2013, 12:27:29 PM
 :o :o :o :o Boy, someone's got a pair don't they?  :o :o
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 19, 2013, 12:43:04 PM
Quote
After a short time, she plucked the book out of my hands and closed it, losing my page, and informed me that I was being very rude to her. 

 :o What??!  >:(

Words.....fail.......me.
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 19, 2013, 01:04:32 PM
Quote
After a short time, she plucked the book out of my hands and closed it, losing my page, and informed me that I was being very rude to her. 

 :o What??!  >:(

Words.....fail.......me.

I work with someone like this, but she only yammers at me when I'm trying to relax before starting work. I go from job #1 to job #2, and usually have maybe 30 mins by the time i get there, to eat and so on before I have to punch in. She will come in, and start talking. I am fine with hi, how are you, but when its obvious i'm reading or looking at my phone, please take the hint and stop!
Title: Re: When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information
Post by: oceanus on February 19, 2013, 03:13:59 PM
Talking/yammering away while someoone is trying to focus on something else is bad enough, but grabbing another person's book to make them listen to you is another.

Whoa.   >:(