Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Humor Me! => Topic started by: Hollanda on February 14, 2013, 07:20:05 AM

Title: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Hollanda on February 14, 2013, 07:20:05 AM
My DH has these expressions that he uses over and over again for about a month, and then doesn't use them any more.  He usually stops using them when they have passed on to me and I start using them all the time.
 
Examples:

"...and stuff." Everything, at one time, had the words "and stuff" tagged on the end. Such as "It's cold and stuff." Half the time it made little or no sense.

"It really is though, isn't it?" In agreement to something the other person is saying.  This one drives me a little potty but I can live with it.
 
"Not...really..." Said very slowly and thoughtfully, as if he's considering the previous sentence very carefully.
 
"If you would do ___ and ___, that would be massively helpful." I always want to say "But I am not feeling massively helpful today". I think I'll leave that to DS in a couple of years...
 
"That's not what's supposed to happen..." said in response to anything that doesn't go his way.  Usually in a slightly confused tone of voice, as though it has snowed with the sole intention of spoiling his day.

Does anyone else have a spouse with some odd verbal expressions, or is it just mine?!
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Rohanna on February 14, 2013, 08:02:41 AM
Mine adds "blahblablahblahblah" to the end of every sentence where you could possibly substitute etc., and so forth, and so on or any other synonym. He slurs it together so it comes  out almost more like "blablubblah"... I don't know why he picked it up as a Verbal tic about a year ago- and to his credit he's gotten better at catching himself about it.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Dalek on February 14, 2013, 08:24:57 AM
My SO picked up on the " Go home _____. You're drunk." meme. For everything.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Hollanda on February 14, 2013, 08:30:28 AM
Oh I am so glad it is not just me.
 
DH also does The Shrug complete with the Noise when he doesn't know something.  I asked him to please stop doing that since he is not a pubescent teenage boy any more and has sufficient grasp on the English language to convey that he is not sure of something.  :-\
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Girly on February 14, 2013, 08:35:41 AM
Your mom

So, I'll say 'I'm tired', and he says 'Your mom's tired'
'I'm cooking dinner' and he says 'Your mom's cooking dinner'

I swear I married an 8 year old.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 14, 2013, 08:37:20 AM
Not really DH's expression but FIL's and we both picked up on it.  He'll call and instead of identifying himself by name, he says "Hello, this is Tommy's* dad."

The first time he did that, I answered brightly, "Hi, Tommy's dad!!"** and he cracked up so we've kept doing it the last 13 years.  MIL thought it was funny to and now any cards that are sent to me or both of us are signed "Love, MIL and Tommy's Dad." 

*Not DH's actual nickname.

** Inspired by a high school friend who wasn't comfortable calling my parents by first name but was asked to not address them as Mr. And Mrs. so she'd say "Hi, Pirate's Mom/Dad!"

DH has a "Stuff" expression he likes to use.  If anyone says "And stuff" he says "Not the STUFF!!" in a mock horrified voice.  He'll also playfully refer to any one of our children that is the subject of conversation as "The child, who's failing to mention any checks."  (from the Grinch movie, when he claims "the child mentioned a check?" as an award for joining the Whobilation).

Girly, your DH reminds me of a character on "The Regular Show" who likes to say "You know who else likes ____? MY MOM!!!!!!"
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Amava on February 14, 2013, 09:37:04 AM
Hehe nope. I'm the one in this household who spouts memes.
Like a boss!  :D
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Thipu1 on February 14, 2013, 09:43:52 AM
'May I ask a favor of you?'

Mr. Thipu usually says this when he wants me to do something as simple as putting some lotion on his back when he gets out of the shower.  He also says it when he wants me to stand on the kitchen stool and hold his ankles while he's working on the back of the clothes drier (our washer-drier is stacked with the drier on top).   

To me, it sounds like something that you'd find in a Victorian novel instead of what a partner would request in 21st century Brooklyn.  Also, you never know what he's going to ask. 

Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: jayhawk on February 15, 2013, 04:06:48 PM
Not my DH, but my 16yo DS adds "and such" to the ends of his sentences fairly regularly.  He showed me a draft of a paper he's writing on Louis Armstrong and "and such" makes an appearance therein.

ETA his other face is "and whatnot."
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: lilfox on February 15, 2013, 05:58:56 PM
DH has one that grates on my nerves.  Whenever I suggest something, his knee jerk response is always "That's not a bad idea."  Not once is it, "yes let's do that" or "I agree."  so it sounds like he's always suggesting that my other ideas ARE bad and this is a rare useful one. 

But, in our household I'm usually the one with distinctive phrases.  Among others, I add "and such" to sentences too.  When DD says something goofy, I have replied "What?? Noooooo" so many times that she's picked it up and now anything she says she tacks that on at the end, with my inflections.

"You have cookie ears!  What??  Noooooo".  ;D
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Mental Magpie on February 15, 2013, 08:56:04 PM
I'm the "phraser"  :-[

I have three go to responses (among my other phrases) which are, "your mom", "because you touch yourself at night", and "gremlins".  These are all in responses to questions beginning with "why".
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Delia DeLyons on February 17, 2013, 12:49:50 AM
when my BF is discussing, usually familial, relationships, he often uses the phrase 'it's not like we have tea together'... I mean, he says it often enough that I asked him where he got it from and he shrugs and says 'myself'.  I just think it's cute.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: mmswm on February 17, 2013, 01:03:17 AM
"Bob did it."  This is the standard reply in my parents' house when anything goes missing.  Bob is the resident ghost who's been following my mother around for at least 50 years.

"Insert Tab A into Slot B" is the standard phrase to describe a procedure that's relatively simple like changing brakes, installing a new shower head or re-priming the pool pump.

I'm sure there's more, but it's late and my brain isn't functioning fully.

Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: SamiHami on February 17, 2013, 04:37:11 PM
In my house it is not Bob that did it. It's the kitty's fault. This is from a friends child, who happened to constantly get herself into trouble. One time she actually did try to blame something on one of the family cats. So now anytime something goes wrong, "the kitty did it."
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Slartibartfast on February 17, 2013, 09:36:55 PM
DH doesn't talk much, so I can't think of any particular expressions (he tends to stay quiet until he has some mind-bogglingly insightful comment to add).  He does have a great way of driving Babybartfast nuts, though  :P  Whenever she starts in with "I want X!" and we tell her no, she sometimes starts whining "But I waaaaaant it!"  To which DH sings "You Can't Always Get What you Want."

It's to the point now where Babybartfast had a complete meltdown in the car when "You Can't Always Get What You Want" came on the radio  ;D  It's effective, though - it stops her from whining about how much she wants things!
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: mmswm on February 17, 2013, 10:39:03 PM
Oh, I remembered two more.

First, there's the 7 P's: Proper Prior Planning Prevents P*** Poor Performance

Second: If you're going to be stupid, you'd better be tough.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: JonGirl on February 18, 2013, 04:20:40 AM


When reading the "readers question" from the daily newspaper, DH actually out loud thanks the person who sent in the question!

As in "thank you (name) of (suburb)". Annoys me every time...  ::)
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Carotte on February 18, 2013, 05:29:08 AM
I think I'm the one who says it the most, when I'm not agreeing with something said like " blah blah blah tomato" - "you're the tomato". It mostly never makes sense but yesterday we got a nice "blah problem in your head" to which I answered " no you're the problem in my head" which actually kind of make sense sometimes :)
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: RebeccainGA on February 18, 2013, 08:18:28 AM
My dad was the meme-master in our house - I still occasionally pop out one of them and don't realize it.

DP is AWFUL with names, and since her chemo, occasionally with words. She's also the worst at enunciating things. There are dozens of 'DP-speak' names for things - BelVita cookies are "Bein-ventoos", she pronounces nearby city "Dalonega" as "Dah-log-ne-gah", and let's net even get started on how she pronounces the names of some latin-sounding body parts. LOL She knows that she's doing it right, and can and will do it correctly if someone's listening besides me, but at home, it's "honey, can I have coffee and bienvenetoos??"
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: PurpleFrog on February 18, 2013, 10:21:12 AM
My husband picked up 'isn't it just' from somewhere.
Its sunny today - isn't it just.
The political situation in random country is unsustainable - isnt it just.
The babys created a death ray and has set the house on fire - hasn't he just.

I suggested he find a new phrase or cease to speak.

My standard defence however is the monkeys:

Dh: who moved the dodad?
Me: monkeys.. ....evil ones.....big evil monkeys with sticks. . .big evil poo flinging monkeys with sticks......big evil poo flinging mmonkeys with sticks that are in league with davros.....


I basically keep going untill one of three things happens:

1) dh gets bored and wanders away
2) Dh forgets what the question was
3) Dh's brain melts out of his ears, if anyone asks how that happened it was the monkeys. ..evil monkeys... 
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Mental Magpie on February 18, 2013, 02:10:38 PM
I think I'm the one who says it the most, when I'm not agreeing with something said like " blah blah blah tomato" - "you're the tomato". It mostly never makes sense but yesterday we got a nice "blah problem in your head" to which I answered " no you're the problem in my head" which actually kind of make sense sometimes :)

I do that, too, a lot.  It's not always even just me disagreeing with something; I'll say it as an automatic response to anything.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Gyburc on February 20, 2013, 05:27:54 AM
DH has a whole fund of these phrases, but then I suppose so do I.  ;D

One of the most long-standing ones is the 'Which' game. It goes like this:

Me: DH, do you want coffee or tea?
DH: Yes.
Me: Which?
DH: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife.

I've mostly got wise to this one over the last 20 years, but sometimes he still gets me.  ::)

Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 20, 2013, 08:59:39 AM
Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".

It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."  >:D  I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...

As for expressions, anytime I ask DH, often without thinking "Do you think it'll work?" he says "It'll take a miracle."  After an eye roll at having walked right into that one, we both say "Bye bye!!!"
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Hollanda on February 20, 2013, 02:55:53 PM
Oh great. He has a new one. "You reckon?" With an annoying upwards tilt at the end of the sentence...grrrrrrrrr.


Ah I love him really!!  8)
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Amava on February 20, 2013, 03:50:41 PM
Oh great. He has a new one. "You reckon?" With an annoying upwards tilt at the end of the sentence...grrrrrrrrr.


Ah I love him really!!  8)

Haha!! I accidentally introduced my husband to "You don't say??" like in the meme.
And now he uses it! In English! And English isn't even our first language!  ;D

Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Gyburc on February 21, 2013, 06:04:50 AM
Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".

It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."  >:D  I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...



Oh, you should have done. (OK, maybe not at a Quiet Day. ;D) But I would have been so, soooo tempted as well.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 21, 2013, 06:07:48 AM
Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".

It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."  >:D  I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...



Oh, you should have done. (OK, maybe not at a Quiet Day. ;D) But I would have been so, soooo tempted as well.

Next time I have the chance, I will do so. :)
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: JonGirl on February 25, 2013, 04:22:46 AM
Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".
It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."  >:D  I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...

As for expressions, anytime I ask DH, often without thinking "Do you think it'll work?" he says "It'll take a miracle."  After an eye roll at having walked right into that one, we both say "Bye bye!!!"


I've seen tshirts with that on it...
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Thipu1 on February 26, 2013, 09:43:54 AM
'It is what it is'. All purpose response.

'Mildly interesting'. Said about anything that doesn't completely grab his interest.

'I don't like parsing fish'.  Said any time any type of fish except a filet is on the menu.

Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: ScubaGirl on February 26, 2013, 10:05:31 AM
"I'll let you......"  Generally said when he is making dinner and wants to push off something on me.  "I'll let you do the corn", etc.

What makes me irritated is that there is a reason I'm not doing dinner that night and if I had known I was going to be responsible for something I would have done it differently.  What makes me actually mad is that in the way he phrases it, it is like he is doing me a favor.  Grrrrrrr!
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: ladyknight1 on February 26, 2013, 10:26:07 AM
Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".
It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."  >:D  I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...

As for expressions, anytime I ask DH, often without thinking "Do you think it'll work?" he says "It'll take a miracle."  After an eye roll at having walked right into that one, we both say "Bye bye!!!"


I've seen tshirts with that on it...

I have one!  ;D

Every time I wear it someone apologizes to me that my father was killed.  :o
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Seraphia on February 26, 2013, 10:32:11 AM
"I'll let you......"  Generally said when he is making dinner and wants to push off something on me.  "I'll let you do the corn", etc.

What makes me irritated is that there is a reason I'm not doing dinner that night and if I had known I was going to be responsible for something I would have done it differently.  What makes me actually mad is that in the way he phrases it, it is like he is doing me a favor.  Grrrrrrr!

Ahh, my husband has another brother. It's one little nitpicky thing, and I know I shouldn't be bothered by it, but it drives me bonkers when DH says, as he's stopping at the mailbox when we're both in the car, "Want to get the mail?" Well, no, actually, I don't want to get out of my nice warm seat and rummage around in the dark at the unlit box for my mail key just so I can collect some Pizza Hut flyers and a mailer from the city. The mail does not spoil like bananas! It will keep until tomorrow morning. I started responding with: "Not really. But I will, because I love you." He quit saying it for about a month.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Mental Magpie on February 26, 2013, 12:20:45 PM
"I'll let you......"  Generally said when he is making dinner and wants to push off something on me.  "I'll let you do the corn", etc.

What makes me irritated is that there is a reason I'm not doing dinner that night and if I had known I was going to be responsible for something I would have done it differently.  What makes me actually mad is that in the way he phrases it, it is like he is doing me a favor.  Grrrrrrr!

My mother says this, so I started to say, "Aw, what a privilege!  I'm so glad you're letting me do this for you!" or some such variation.  Now she laughs.
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: Hollanda on February 28, 2013, 05:01:51 PM
Some of DH's former expressions crack me up laughing.


Years ago, when we both worked in a horrid office tower, the heat in summer was atrocious. For some insane reason, opening windows wasn't an option. Health and safety, but the windows opened about 1cm so unless someone had a shrinking cap, leaping out of them was just not happening. The heat was easily high 90s in mid summer. We Brits just are not used to that kind of heat and DH especially does not deal well with being hot, especially indoors.  People were fainting daily through overheating. In fact, there was an ambulance stationed outside that building for six weeks!!!


At that time, DH's expression was "That's not what's meant to happen' about literally anything out the ordinary. And his rants at work are well known and pretty much well liked. He just has a way with words...bless him, he walked to the thermometer and said (paraphrased) "It's 89 degrees and the windows are shut?! What's the matter with you people?? People are collapsing!! That's not what's meant to happen!' The management did nothing about the situation then, but by the following spring had air con installed. Of course, that summer was dismal and the air con stayed redundant.


Typical. That's not what's meant to happen!!
Title: Re: Spouse Expressions
Post by: ladyknight1 on February 28, 2013, 05:18:40 PM
My beloved DH is a wonderful man. I could have stabbed him with a pencil today.  >:D

Long story made short, he had planned his day carefully, things went out of control and he was not able to get somewhere at the time he needed to. I was frustrated with him for being over the top with the whole situation, and he was frustrated. He calls me, I listen, then I respond to what he said and he snapped at me. So then I stayed quiet while he talked, and he decided I was ignoring him and said he was sorry "I was so busy". That was it. I told him that I was not busy, that I had been listening to him and I was sorry he had a bad day, but there was very little I could do other than listen and be supportive.  ::)